Harry climbed out of bed, made it neat and than proceeded to dress in a casual blue shirt and jeans.

He left his room while wondering if he'd been the one to leave the door open for he could have sworn he'd closed it before going to sleep. When he reached the bottom step...he quickly noticed something was amiss.

Snape wasn't awake yet. Harry could tell that right away because the coffee machine was clean and empty, no candles or lamps were on and the place was deadly silent.

Sneaking back upstairs, Harry peaked into Snape's bedroom with extreme caution and almost released the doorknob in surprise as he spotted the large lump in the bed and the set of folded, black clothes on a nearby chair.

Harry left the room and headed back downstairs, deciding that he was still going to stay up but also didn't want to wake the man just yet. He eyed the Christmas tree and made a mental note to take it down later as he settled himself on an armchair and sighed. Harry glanced to his side and spotted a thick book resting atop the coffee table and wondered if he'd awoken in a different world for Snape never slept in and he never left his precious books out without putting them away.

Curious, Harry peered at the open page and noticed a lot of complicated instructions and rather rare ingredients listed, but otherwise found nothing interesting about it until his green eyes caught the title of the potion: Parental Bonding Potion.

"What's this?" Harry gasped and started to read the beginning of the description to himself, casting a cautious glance towards the stairs every few seconds.

Harry stopped there for a beastly lump had formed in his stomach and he felt the sense of being denied an ounce of happiness once again at those words; "to the point of even giving up his/her life for the child as any loving parent would". He didn't want another repeat of James and Lily's sacrifice, nor did he want to put Snape in a position that he could not resign from or disagree to. Harry would never want to be responsibe for yet another person dying for him.

And suddenly the entire idea of having a new father seemed horrible and selfish to Harry.

He backed away from the book and knew that he had to put an end to it all...no matter how much he wanted a real family.

Snape awoke no less than an hour later. He showered, changed and made his way downstairs to make breakfast for himself as well as Harry.

He had known that the boy was awake from the moment he'd left his room, because he'd peaked through the open door of the boy's room only to find it empty.

Snape entered the kitchen and was quite secretive about his glances around the room but the boy was nowhere in sight. Seeing his book laying open on the coffee table, he swished his wand and had it returned to its rightful shelf before Snape began seeking out the boy with renewed concern.

"Harry!" Snape scowled as he reduced himself to calling for him as though he was a lost dog, but even he couldn't deny that he was getting a bit nervous to the boy's absence.

"Sir?" Harry appeared casually through the backdoor at the shout of his name.

"I do not recall giving you permission to leave the house!" Snape snapped angrily as he eyed the boy and calmed himself for he had been worried; even if it was for just a moment.

"Sorry, I was just bored" Harry shrugged his shoulders when in truth he had deliberately wanted to annoy the man. Experience had taught him that if he wanted Snape to be angry with him then all he had to do was not go out of his way to impress him or behave himself. He wanted to anger Snape so much that he'd want him out and to dismiss their agreement.

Harry hated to do it, but in his mind, this was the best way to protect Snape...to make sure that he wasn't going to die in his place as his previous parents had.

"Well be bored indoors" Snape replied in a grumpy tone and proceeded into the kitchen.

"When do we have to go back to Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

"Five days" Snape replied as he prepared breakfast and wondered what had Harry so talkative, especially after their previous night's conversation.

Harry sat at the table and wondered how to best annoy the man but it had never been his intention before...it always seemed to just happen. But now things had changed and Snape seemed to see him more as himself and not as...James Potter.

Harry sighed as the idea occured to him...but he saw no other option. He ran his hands through his hair in efforts to ruffle it more and tried to appear as lazy as possible when Snape placed the food in front of him whilst eyeing him with suspicion.

"Do you think I could play Quiddtich today?" Harry asked casually as he ate and tried to appear calm even though his insides were curning.

"I do not believe that would be wise" Snape replied.

"We are surrounded by Muggles, surely you are aware of the stupidity in such a request?"

"But that's the fun" Harry said, trying to look as though he really was trying to be reckless, although he hardly considered his birth father was that was. He actually had no idea, but perhaps being the opposite to who Harry truly was is the way to go about this?

"No" Snape said firmly, scowling at the boy's ignorance and James tendacies.

"Your feet will remain firmly on the ground until we return to Hogwarts. And to ensure it, I will be confiscating your broom until such time."

Harry groaned as he hadn't wanted that to happen, but at least the man appeared to be more agitated than before.

Snape ignored his protest and continued to eat, only looking up when Harry pushed his plate away without finishing his food. The boy got to his feet, leaving his chair out and plate on the table before making his way upstairs.

Snape eyed him in annoyance and fought back the urge to yell at Harry make make him take his plate up and push the chair in. Although he wasn't sure why he hadn't demanded the boy to do so, Snape simply waved his wand and the two items went about the request on their own by magic.

Although there was one factor in the situation that Harry was unaware of and that involved the man's skill that enabled him to read minds. Snape hadn't been reading the boy's mind, but his thoughts and emotions were pratically flying off the boy so they were rather difficult to ignore.

Snape saw the calmness in the child, the way he appeared mostly bored or uninterested but he could sense the anxiety, the fear and even sadness that was overwhelming Harry and in unsettled him for he had no idea what could have caused it in a few hours. he hadn't sensed any of this the previous night, well only mildly but now it seemed as though something had changed...but what?

Snape sent his plate to the kitchen and began eyeing the nearby rooms for any clues as to what had brought about a emotional change in the child.

He peaked outside but it looked exactly the same as always, so did ever other inch of the place. The only thing that had been changed was the fact that he'd put his book away when...

He skidded his pacing to a halt and stared at the spot where his book had been resting from where he'd unintentionally left the the previous night and a small voice reminded him: it had been left open.

So Harry had read about the potion? Why was he so troubled then?

Snape sunk into the same armchair that he'd been sitting in the previous night and let out a heavy sigh in disapointment for he'd been so sure that Harry would be excited or at elast somewhat happy with the idea and instead he appeared downright miserable.

It was uncertain how long Snape sat there in that chair thinking, but whilst he was...Harry was sitting in his room just as confused and unhappy.

He kicked his wardrobe, threw his pillow and sunk to the floor...but it did nothing to ease his mood and inability to just let go of his burning desire to have a family or more specifically: to have Snape as his father.

Harry knew since he'd decided to take this dejecting path this morning that it wouldn't be easy at all but now it was starting to kill him slowly inside.

He had become so attached that he feared the damage it would cause to force himself to give up what he now had and distance himself.

If he destroyed their agreement now he had a sickening, fearful feeling that it would be gond forever...even after Voldemort was gone from the world and their lives. Was it really worth it?

"Of course it is" Harry scowled at the annoying voice in his head that kept trying to make him hold onto his newfound father.

"I don't want him to die" He sniffed and hunched on the floor beside his bed, just as a shadow swooped into the room from the doorway.

Harry spun around, knocking his head on the side of the bed as he did so, and got to his feet hurridly as Snape stood there and pretended that he hadn't overheard the last few words from the boy.

"Sir?" Harry asked as Snape looked oddly...none-blank. When he stared at the man's face he saw the confusion, he saw the anger and something that appeared to be disapointment.

"I believe that we need to talk" Snape told him.

"Now!" He added sharply as he turned and Harry hadn't followed right away.

Harry jumped to the suddenly dark tone and ran after the man, very concerned for his own wellbeing now since he had not heard that tone for a while and perhaps he had angered the man as much as he'd wanted to. Now he wasn't so sure if it had been such a bright idea.

"Sit" Snape said and Harry sunk into the nearby two-seater sofa and eyed the man with a mixture of anxiety and nervousness.

Snape caught the look and forced himself to regain calmness for losing his temper at the boy was no way to handle the situation, even though anger was always how he reacted when he was unfamilar with an emotion or was unsure how to express his concern to another living being.

"Harry..." Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before trying to work out how exactly to talke to the boy but all he knew was that he had to. He refused to just let this go, to just let Harry go and he wanted to be the boy's father...now more than ever.

"You are behaving oddly today and I demand to know why."

"It's nothing sir. I'm always like this" Harry said quickly but his own words sounded like a lie, even to him.

"Perhaps several weeks prior I would have believed you, but I now know for a fact that is it false" Snape's eyes narrowed in annoyance, making Harry edge back in his seat slightly under the intimidating glare.

"I am not here to punish you for whatever wrong you have done, nor do I wish to prematurely send you away" Snape tried to reassure the boy, unaware that those words were only making Harry feel worst for that's what he was trying to achieve: being angrily sent away.

"I am asking only that you discuss what is bothering you. And do not attempt yet another fruitless lie" He added firmly.

And what was Harry to say to that? It wasn't a matter of words though for the boy was crumbling inside. He hadn't had the chance the gather himself before Snape had demanded this conversation and he his emotions were still raw. When the man had said those things, about wanting to know what bothered him and that he wasn't going to send him away...it struck Harry quite hard because he would have to give it all up. He would have to return to the unloving Dursleys, to be cold and lonely once again...he couldn't have a parent because anyone that got close enough would surely die at the hands of Voldemort if they liked him enough to protect him.

It was clear now that Snape was in as much danger as Harry's parents had been and the boy was determined to seperate himself for the man's sake of life...but right now, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Harry?" Snape asked as Harry sniffed and his eyed looked more pained than ever, which was not a very reassuring sight especially with their likliness to Lily's.

"I...can't" Harry choked out.

"I don't..." He inhaled sharply and knew what had to be done, for the sake of a life in which he didn't want to be responsible for destroying.

"I don't want you as my father" He gasped out and Snape was taken aback, although Harry couldn't see that while he bowed his head and continued to sniffle with tears sliding down his face.

Snape stared at the boy as a deep sadness filled within himself, along with an anger that he had done something wrong and screwed up his life once again and that it was just as he'd expected: too good for him and it wasn't meant to last.

Despite everything the pained man felt, there was still the smallest hint of something in the deepest corner of his mind that told him something wasn't right.

It wasn't his emotions or twisted unluckiness for he was sure that was all real, but it was the simple fact that the boy was crying as though grieving the loss of a loved one instead of feeling guilty about changing his mind.

A day ago he'd called him "dad" and now after reading the book about the parental bond potion he didn't want Snape to be his father? As a teacher and naturally keen student, Snape did not see the logic in such a reaction.

The boy had lost his parents when he was a baby so he'd never felt such kindness and protection that Snape had tried to bestow on him...surely the boy was latch onto the first sign of it as it came along? he'd stated that he'd thought this through and wanted it so badly. What was the problem?

The anger boiled inside Snape, mixed with other horrible and yet familar emotions but for one of the only times that he could recall in his life since he'd started at Hogwarts...he did not acknowledge it. All he could see was a confusing situation and a weeping boy that he cared too much for to let go.

"Harry..." He stared to say and approached the boy but Harry got to his feet and shoved him away, although he seemed unable to look at him.

"No! I don't want you!" Harry sobbed. "I hate you and I want things to go back to the way they were before!" He said, hating every word that slipped out of his mouth.

"You can't be my father, you hate me! I don't want this anymore, I..." He gulped and sighed, his voice lowering slowly as he spoke again.

"I wish you had never accepted."

And with that, Harry stormed upstairs and slammed his bedroom door before slumping face-first into his pillow to muffle his continued cries.

Snape stood fixated to the spot and even in his confusion and determination...there was no denying that it had been like the last stab in his heart that he could handle. His heart was cold, dark and badly injured. He had shields of indifference to protect it from further harm, mostly after the patching he had to do since Lily's death but he'd opened a small gap for Harry and now it had been torn.

Snape felt like a broken man.

In the midst of everything, he held onto the smallest piece of hope that existed inside the twists of emotions and pain that he could no longer make sense of as he stumbled over to the bookshelf and pulled out the leather book, anxious to find out what exactly it said again that could have caused such a reaction.

He must have sat there for over and hour while reading and re-reading the several paragraphs before his mind settled back into rational place and it finally kicked into gear. The meaning of Harry's sudden change and need to distance himself became all too clear and Snape felt like hexing himself for not even considering it before. And he called himself a professor?

But Snape made no move to go to Harry's bedroom. He was going to sleep on it and wait until the boy had calmed down for he too needed to gather himself.

He made himself a coffee in the kitchen and settled at the table in attempt to ease away the ache he felt in his chest, wondering how it had taken such a short time to go from disliking the boy to caring so much for him that he was pratically already his son to Snape. When the boy had said those things...it had hurt. Snape hadn't felt such a stab of pain that wasn't caused by curses or actual injuries before since...well, since he'd ruined his friendship with Lily and watched her go off with that Potter. Of course, that didn't count her death because Snape refused to even remember what that had felt like.

--

After an hour of sipping coffee and calming himself, Snape cleaned the cup by magic and made his way upstairs. He pressed his ear against the door of Harry's bedroom and once he was sure that the boy was asleep he carefully entered the room and stared down at him.

Snape flickered his wand to remove the glasses and hover them onto the bedside table before he transfigured the boy's clothes into pyjamas. Although he placed the blankets over Harry more firmly with his own hands and lightly brushed some hair from his face so he could see his expression clearer. He was not pleased to see the tear trails there nor the slight frown of discomfort on Harry's face.

Snape sighed inaudiably and left the room with the door slightly ajar in case the boy awoke with a nightmare and needed confort, although he wasn't sure if he would be able to give it this time.

Snape went to his own room and prepared for bed but it was another hour before he was able to sleep and it had nothing to do with the amount of caffeine in his system.