It was September first, the day Harry now counted down to for it was the most important date of the year to him...it was the day he returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; his real home. It hadn't been an uneventful summer...apart from being starved, almost being wrongly expelled and then locked in his bedroom until he was resecued. But Harry was now standing on platform 9 3/4, so who was he to complain?

"Goodbye dear" Molly Weasley kissed Ron's cheek, ignoring his squirms to break free as she did so. She then warned the twins to stay out of trouble and assisted Ginny with her luggage. Harry had recieved a hug from her earlier and was still feeling how strange it had been to receive.

"Come on, Harry!" Ron called to him, no doubt trying to escape his mother quickly before she embarrassed him again. But his best friend did not move. Harry stood there and gazed around the crowd with a mystified expression. All around him were families and friends, bidding goodbye or being reunited. He used to see families and wish he had one, feeling sad and lonely. But now was different, his trip to the Weasleys had changed his thread of thought.

"Harry?" Ron tried again.

"You go on" Harry said. "Get a good compartment."

"Okay" Ron said, looking confused but headed onto the train anyway.

Harry stared at one family in particular. He didn't know the student but he had dark brown hair and glasses. simular to himself. He looked a few years older than Harry and didn't seem to notice that he was being stared at, studied and approached slightly. Harry watched as the boy tugged at his trunk and a taller man, who looked nothing alike him, grabbed hold of it and lifted it onto the train for him.

"Thanks dad" The boy said, looking relieved.

"It's what I do" The man grinned back and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Be safe, son."

"I always try" The boy teased but nodded.

Harry continued to watch as the father gave his son a hug and then prodded him towards the train, promising to send anything he had forgotten or to write often and keep him updated on work at the Ministry.

The smoke billowing from the train and the whistle it made was all that could pull Harry from his trance and he hastily got on board, just in time before the doors shut and the train began on its course.

For you see, Harry had done a lot of thinking over the summer and he mused over many things that he now knew could be solved.

"You alright, mate?" Ron asked as Harry joined him in their compartment a few minutes later.

"Yeah" Harry nodded casually and pulled out a Quidditich book to pretend to read while he thought back to what he'd pondered over a few short days ago.

Harry watched Mrs Weasley with her sons over the summer and compared her to Mr Weasley; it was then that his most important realization was made.

Admittingly, he wasn't great in his classes...in fact he wasn't really much more than a barely average student. He was terrible in Potions and History of Magic, he couldn't figure Transfiguration out and every other class just seemed okay but neverchanging. A father would help him get on the right track because deep down inside himself, Harry knew he wanted to suceed...he wanted to learn as much as he could but his failing "brilliance" was making him feel discouraged and useless. If he had a father, he could cheer him up perhaps? Chase away his nightmares and of course, help him with his studies.

But where was he to find such a man? His real father was gone, forever and beyond. But for some unknown reason, Harry had a bubble of hope inside him, a part of himself that told him it was possible...that he simply had to find a right enough man for the job and ask him. Would he find him in the crowd at the station? Would he find him wandering the halls of Hogwarts or even teaching in one of his classrooms? Probably not, but he still seemed to consider that he had a chance, that he could get himself a father. He didn't want a great father for that was too wishful, but simply a man to take up the job...that would be enough for Harry.

"Are you sure you're alright mate?" Ron raised an eyebrow at his friend. "You look...odd."

"I'm just looking forward to this year" Harry smiled while Hermione came to join them and they all passed around greetings and stories of their summer.

The train pulled into Hogsmeade station and Harry followed his friends to the carriages, but his mind wandered away from them once more. He stared over at the lake, remembering how he'd crossed it just last year with Hagrid. Then there was the sorting cermony and Harry had been so determined not to end up in Slytherin, which his ememy now belonged to. He turned back and spotted Draco Malfoy's blonde head further ahead of him but felt safe in thinking there was a good amount of distance between them, not that he was worried.

"What's with Harry?" Hermione asked Ron when they joined Dean and Lavender in a carriage.

"No idea, he's been like that since yesterday" Ron replied, glancing at Harry's faraway expression also. He then lowered his tone. "I heard him muttering in his sleep about his father last night though."

"Poor Harry" Hermione sighed but said nothing else as his mind was clearly elsewhere.

"Hermione?" Harry suddenly addressed her as they approached the castle and made their way towards the Great Hall. "Do you think I would be good at Potions if Snape wasn't teaching it?"

"Um..." Hermione thought for a moment, wondering what brought on this sudden question. "I don't know, why?"

"I was just wondering" Harry shrugged as he sat at the Gryffindor table and proceeded to watch the sorting ceremony, now finding the entire process enjoyable and amusing since he was no longer one of the nervous bunch about to be sorted in front of the entire school.

But his newfound quest would not rest and Harry's eyes trailed to the very end of the staff table and slowly began to study each male teacher seated there. Hagrid? Hm perhaps but he was a little too feint-hearted and Harry wanted his father to be strong in every aspect of the word. Although he admired the half-giant like a brother, he wouldn't be the best option, even if he was the most likely to accept.

Than there was Flitwick, he was really smart and would certainly help with his classes, he could learn a lot from his Charms Professor. But his size was a little off-putting and Harry felt he just wasn't the best choice, but he was still a possibility.

Dumbledore....well he was brilliant, beyond brilliant actually. And he was certainly a very promising applicant, although his age was making him appear more of a grandfather, but so what? Maybe a grandfather would be just as good as a father? No, Harry felt they were less focused on achievments and more on happiness, which was something he was trying to avoid. His father had to be focused in all the right areas, not just the obvious and tempting ones.

Harry refused to let his hope fade as he continued to scan the table and his eyes fell on his most hated teacher (it was mutual, really) and swallowed a gulp of pumpkin juice as he was horrified to realize...he was the near-perfect choice. Snape wasn't a delight to be around, he was strict and unforving...he was in the best sense of the word: mean. But he was strong, in the way Harry wanted. He had seen the teacher doing some wandwork during breaks last year and heard he had fought off some nasty intruders to Hogsmeade over the years and he was also an ex-Death Eater. But that was a problem. He had been asociated with the man that had killed his real parents and he was a Slytherin, he was head of Slytherin! But Harry refused to let it cloud his rational thoughts. Afterall, the boy he'd been watching near the train seemed nothing like his father and yet look how good they were. No Harry decided to see deeper, staring even harder at the man that was boredly watching the sorting commence.

Snape was strict, yes but he knew now to get a job done and done well. He knew where to set guildlines and rules, plus he knew how to enforce them. He could help with Harry's schoolwork with ease, he would find the motivation Harry needed to do better, even if it was in the form of a threat of detention or point deductions. Harry had also never seen someone so calm even when they were clearly enraged (mostly by longbottom's never-ending exploding cauldrons), what he wouldn't give to learn such a level of control from the man.

So after weighing pros and cons, Harry decided that Severus Snape had to be the one. But two obstacles remained: The man hated him and Harry partially hated him back.

"Guess I'll just have to change that" Harry said, sitting up straighter.

"What?" Ron asked, looking over at him as he'd spoken.

"Nothing, just thinking aloud" Harry shrugged and looked over at Snape again, shivering as the man's dark eyes stared into his green ones before the sour man turned away again. Yes, he was the one...oh what a difficult task this was going to be!

Harry changed for bed that night but found he was unable to sleep so he grabbed a dressing gown and made his way into the common room, finding that Hermione was already there, reading a book peacefully.

"Oh, hey Harry" She smiled sleepily at him as he sat beside her.

"Hey" Harry returned and watched her read for a moment until she looked up and eyed him with a thoughtful look she usually gave her reading material.

"You've had a lot on your mind lately, haven't you?" She said but it wasn't a question.

"I suppose so" He shrugged but decided to confide in his friend for reasons unknown. "I've been thinking about something, mostly my grades."

"Oh?" She said, looking rather interested now but of course, when it came to Hermione Granger and grade...you will always have her attention.

"Yeah, I'm not going too well and I figured I need someone to help me out with that. Someone experienced and full of advice."

"Like a tutor?" She asked, a proud gleem in her eyes showed.

"Not exactly..." He sighed and looked over at the dying fire. "More like...a parent, well father specifically."

"Oh" She said again but with a sadder note. "Harry..."

"No, it's okay. I didn't mean it like that" Harry said looking calm and determined. "I mean, not my real father because, well you know? I think I need a new father."

"A new father?" She repeated, clearly surprised. "What do you mean?"

"A father that is new" He replied sarcastically and she glared at him so he shoved aside the joke. "I'm going to ask someone to be my father."

"Harry, you can't just ask someone that!" She gasped. "That is a big responsibility! And they would have to know you and have already considered it. I mean, I know how much you want a family but..."

"No, but nothing!" Harry scowled lightly and stood up to look down at her but she got to her feet as well. "I know it's huge, it's massive...but I don't know what it is, something inside me is telling me to do this. I just...I have to at least try."

Hermione stared at him for a moment and after a few silent minutes she sighed heavily and spoke again.

"And who exactly are you thinking of asking, I know you must have someone in mind" She said.

"I do" Harry nodded, sitting down again. "I thought of Mr Weasley at first, but he already has...now many sons? It would be unfair, even though I'm sure he wouldn't mind too much, nor would I" Harry let out a breath and avoided her gaze. "I considered if the right person would be here and well, he is."

"Who?" Hermione questioned, her mind buzzing with possibilities but none stood out strongly.

"Erm...Snape" Harry mumbled.

"Sn-" Hermione's eyes went wide. "Harry, you can't be serious! You hate him."

"I thought I did but now I don't know, he's mean and all and gives us a hard time for unfair reasons but Hermione, he's good at what he does and....I'm not crazy" He added as she stared at him with an expression that indicated she thought he should be locked up in an asylum.

Hermione opened her mouth to object and ratoinalise the notion but Harry shrugged it off and moved out of the room.

"Forget it" He said. "I'm going to bed" And with that he once again found himself on the stairscase connecting the dormitories from the common room.

Harry wasn't hungry the following morning during breakfast and it had nothing to do with the previous night or the way Hermione was watching him worridly, but because he'd just got his schedule from McGonagall...he had double potions first up.

--

The dungeons were just as he'd remembered them and the same went for the potion's lab that was their classroom. Snape went about his usual dramatic entrance and gave a dull but firm introduction before ordering them about their tasks.

Harry stared so hard at the instructions in his book that he felt as though he was going to burn a hole in through the book. He followed each step carefully but his mind and gaze kept falling over to the professor that was currently scowling at Neville.

"Oops" Harry winced as he dropped the rat's spleen into the cauldron but had forgotten to stir it first and the liquid was now issuing a dark-coloured smoke.

"And just what do you think you're doing, Mr Potter?" Came the sneering voice of Snape when he approached and glanced into his cauldron with distaste.

"Five points from Gryffindor for you complete lack of focus" He added as he walked away and several Slytherins sniggered. But Harry bit his tongue and said nothing, only moving to rectify the potion before it became unsaveable.

--

Class ended sooner than Harry had hoped and he took his time to clear away his things.

"Harry..." Hermione tried to tug him away as he eyed Snape but he wasn't paying attention although the Potion's Master did notice her urgent attempts to make him leave and he kept shrugging her off.

"I'm not asking him yet" Harry whispered. "Just go, I'll meet you at lunch" He said and turned towards Snape.

"Class was dismissed five minutes ago, Potter" Snape said in annoyance as the entire class had left and still the irritating boy stood there as his father's carbon copy.

"I know sir, I was just..." Harry felt nervous but tried to pull out some of his Gryffindor bravery. "I wondered if I might ask you something, sir."

"Ask" Snape replied with obvious lack of interest as he waved his wand to clean the cauldrons and desks. "Well?" He turned back when Harry was yet to say anything.

"Do you have a family, sir?" Harry asked although that wasn't the question he'd intended to ask. Although the shocked look on his professor's face was almost amusing, if he wasn't still holding his wand so tightly.

"And what prude and inapropriate thread of thought posessed you to ask such an invasive question that doesn't concern you in even the slightest, Potter?" Snape snapped, mostly to give himself a few seconds to conceal his shock.

"I was just wondering sir, please forgive my rudeness. I'll be going now" Harry said and turned to exit the labs while Snape stood there in shock. The question was one thing but the way Harry had spoken so...respectfully? No that wasn't the right word, but whatever is was...Harry had been, for just a moment, someone else. Surely because James Potter would never have spoken with such curtesty or polietness.

Why it bothered Snape, he did not know. Although the answer that he chose not to give did bother him. He had loved Lily, he had risked his life for the light side and swore to protect Harry...and yet what did he have to show for all his good deeds and loyalty?

Severus Snape felt a pag of disapointment, sadness and anger all mixed in one as he knew that with everything in his entire life...he had nothing to show of it. No breakthrough in his area, no order of Merlins first class, no wealth of the unimaginable riches...no family or someone to love. And Harry had just reminded Snape of that horrible, sickening truth. He was convinced that anyone with the last names of "Longbottom" or "Potter" lived only to make his life worst than it already was.

"Well? What did you say to Professor Snape?" Hermione stared at him as Harry rejoined her and Ron while they sat down for lunch.

"I asked him if he had a family" Harry shrugged as though it was merely a matter of if Snape could tell one potion from another.

"Oh Harry..." Hermione groaned and rolled her eyes while Ron choked on his pumpkin juice.

"Blimey Harry! Why the bloody hell would you want to know if that greasy git had a family?" Ron gasped, having snored right through the important discussion the previous night.

"I hadn't intended to...but I was curious" Harry shrugged again and grabbed something to eat.

"And...what did he say?" Hermione asked but couldn't imagine Snape taking such a question lightly.

"The usual" Harry replied. "He used overly structured sentences including more than enough insults unfairly aimed at me while still being utterly useless" He said and Ron snorted in amusement.

"I can't believe you actually asked him such a question" Hermione rolled her eyes again.

"Me neither" Ron grinned. "I would have paid a thousand gallons to see the look on his face."

"I was quite amusing" Harry agreed while Hermione muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "boys".

"I'm still going to ask him" Harry added to Hermione.

"If he uses shampoo or conditioner?" Ron joked but noticed their serious expressions.

"No, if he would be my new father" Harry said in mild annoyance.

"Good one" Ron snorted again but froze at the exchange of looks between his two best friends. "You're serious? What did you get poisioned back there or something? Blimey Harry, what...?"

But Harry had left his seat and the Great Hall, leaving Hermione to quietly explain to Ron. But as he left he still heard the swore that came from the Gryffindor table so loudly all four houses stared at him and McGongall had deducted points upon entering right beside him.

--

Harry hadn't intended on going there, but as he arrived at the Owlery he found it to be empty besides the owls and a rather isolated place to be. He stepped just outside and sat on the ground, moving to stroke Hedwig's feathers when she fly over as she returned from a hunting trip.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, because when he returned to the common room the sun was starting to set and the room was rather empty. After checking that it wasn't yet time for dinner, Harry headed upstairs to his dormitory and sat cross legged on his bed to think.

"Oh, there you are" Ron said as he walked in and saw Harry sitting there. "We've been looking for you for ages, mate."

"You found me" Harry stated obviously and sighed.

"You alright?" Ron asked.

"I'm not going crazy" Harry told him sternly. "You don't know what it's like, Ron. You have a family that would do anything for you and they'll always be there if you need them. I have nothing; I have no one like that. I need that someone, the adult figure that I could look up to and turn to...you don't know what it's like" He desperately wanted his best friend to believe him and accept it for his mind was never going to change.

Ron stared at him thoughtfully and then sat on the edge of his bed to ponder further and when he finally answered, Harry looked at him in interest.

"You're right mate...but Snape? Of all people, you pick that greasey git? He hates you, no offence" Ron shrugged.

"I know, I'm going to try and change that" Harry sighed in relief for his friend's reaction. "And it has to be him, he just...I know it's him."

"Alright, I still think you're crazy but...if you need anything" Ron attempted a smile.

"Thanks Ron" Harry returned the smile.

"What are friends for if not to join you in your most insane ideas?" Ron joked but nodded and left the room to find Hermione and let her know not to worry as he found Harry and they'd settled things.

It had taken a few more days, but by then his two best friends were doing whatever they could for Harry once he made it painfully clear that he wasn't going to drop this or ever change his mind. That was what had the three of them huddled in the common room one Saturday afternoon to come up with plans to improve the situation and Harry's chances of not being killed when he finally asked Snape the question he was burning to ask the man.

"Alright, so here's how we should do this" Hermione said as the boys looked to her for answers; they were all out of ideas. "We first work on getting Harry on Snape's good side, which that itself will be a challenge, but Harry you may need to work on your potions for starters..."

"That is kind of why I need him, Hermione" Harry deadpanned and let out a small groan as he knew what was coming next.

"Well I could help or you could at least read over your potions book so you know what you have to do for potions before you end up doing them" Hermione suggested. "Secondly we will need to work out when exactly Harry could ask him and how to go about doing it. "Will you be my father?" simply isn't going to work" She sighed and glanced from each boy before biting her lip. "And Harry....I still don't think he's going to agree but if we follow things through this way I think it will increase your chances."

"Thanks Hermione" Harry said. "I have a really good feeling about this, but...it won't be easy."

"No kidding" Ron said. "This is Snape we're talking about after all."

--

And so when Monday came around, the three had a mostly solid plan and as Harry looked back on it he realised that he had kind of rushed into things without any tactic and was more than greatful for his friend's help for without it he now understood that his previous chances where in the smallest of measurements.

They had potions after lunch, so Hermione was constantly reminding the boys of their plans and had even agreeded to sacrific some of her perfect marks to make sure Harry didn't ruin his potion and had it at least acceptable to keep on the Potions Mater's good side.

"And you can't be late for any class, you must get all your homework done as quickly as you can" Hermione was still saying as they walked down to the dungeons.

"I know" Harry said as Ron looked at him sympathetically.

"And Ron, you need to also keep an eye on Malfoy" Hermione added. "He might try to sabotage Harry's potion again."

"Stupid git" Ron nodded in agreement, glancing over at the blonde in question as they took their seats a little further to the front this time.

Harry frowned as he found himself jumping when Snape made his usual, dramatic entrance and strolled to the fornt of the classroom to begin the lesson.

Harry felt he was going to get a headache from all his concentration but thought it was going well so far since his potion looked and smelt as it was supposed to, thanks to Hermione correcting some of this cutting and telling him when to stir while Ron kept a lion's eye on Draco.

While they tried not to appear obvious in their actions, Snape did notice the way Hermione was constantly checking Harry's potion and how Ron seemed fixated on watching the Slytherins suspiciously. Harry's potions weren't as hopeless as they had been previously and Snape had a good idea why. But if it kept Harry passing his class and not destroying more of his ingedients, than so be it. It was Harry's reactions towards him that nerved him the most. The boy was no longer glaring and muttering about him when he was scowled at him and it was getting harder for Snape to deduct points or give him a detention for he hadn't been late in the past two weeks either and his homework wasn't as rushed-looking as it prevously appeared, even if the material was still rather dreadful.

But Snape did some investigating for his own pure curiosity and found that while Harry was clearly making a larger effort in potions, his other classes seemed to be lacking and suffering slightly more. It was bothering Snape because he had no idea what the boy could hope to gain from his recent actions, surely potions wasn't Harry's favourite subject...no, he was certain that it wasn't.

And it wasn't until one Thursday afternooon that Snape got his answer. As usual, he was doing his best to prevent further damage from Longbottom's cursed cauldron skills and had just finished cleaning the lab when he headed to his office and there was a knock at the door. It was almost as though someone had been waiting until he was settled in his office.

"Enter" Snape said and the door creaked open slowly to reveal Harry standing there and even Snape couldn't possibly miss how nervous he looked. He groaned inwardly, praying to Merlin that the boy hadn't just done something that would give him a week's worth of headaches.

"Potter" He spat and the boy took this as a cue to come inside the office, shutting the door behind him.

"Sorry sir, I was just wondering if I might ask you something?" Harry said and Snape flashed back to the last time he'd heard the boy say those too-polite words.

"I do hope that you are not intending to pry into my personal life again, Mr Potter" Snape frowned.

"No, sir...not really" Harry sighed with a slight blush and approached the desk. He placed his potion textbooks on the desk and then seated himself in the chair. "It is rather difficult for me to come to you with this sir, please let me explain before I ask."

Snape eyed Harry curiously and was so sure this boy was up to something...surely he would never come to him of all people if something was bothering him? But nonetheless, Snape was intrigued.

"Go on" Snape said, sitting down in his own chair to watch the boy, analyzing every movement, expression and word the boy gave off.

"Well, I've been doing some thinking over the summer" Harry began, staring down at his hands as he spoke as he was unable to just look up at the man. "And I know my grades aren't all that good, sir" He admitted and Snape wordlessly agreed with a nod.

"I know you may not think so, but I really do try and I want to do well...but I didn't know how I could improve" He swallowed and continued. "And then I thought that maybe if I had someone to motivate me, to encourage me to do better and help me when I'm stuck...then surely my grades would be a lot better."

Snape still didn't see how this could lead to any question involving him but for once, he bended to the boy's wishes and allowed him to speak without being interupted, that inaction seemed to have encouranged the boy to keep going with his mostly planned out speech.

"I was watching Ron, with his family I mean. And I noticed how his mother was warm and caring...she hugged him a lot and...well as much as I would like that, I think it's not what I need right now" Harry mumbled but Snape still understood what he'd said although he was more lost than ever now. The boy was wasting his time, but still his curiosity would not allow him to just kick the boy out...yet.

"It was Ron's father that had me thinking" Harry told him and finally glanced up, surprised to see an interested expression barely on the professor's face so he was at least listening to him. "I want a father, sir. A new one since my real father is...well, you know?"

Snape frowned at the mention of James Potter but still he didn't say a word.

"A father would be able to motivate me and give me advice. He could be someone I can trust, feel safe with and confide in for I don't have that in my life at all. I live with my Aunt and Uncle but they...well they don't really care about me, sir. And they are happiest when I'm locked away in my bedroom" Harry sighed, not wanting to say that but if it helped his chances than he would reveal anything.

"I guess what I'm trying to ask you , sir..." Harry looked at his hands again and felt his tongue drying and his throat constricting with nerves but if he didn't get this out now he may never get another chance.

"I...I want you to be my father" He said, barely gasping it out but Snape had heard it loud and clear. For the second time in his entire life, Severus Snape was utterly speechless.

"Sir?"

Albus Dumbledore had considered himself lucky today, for it was sunny outside and there were no dramas from misbehaving students or issues that the teachers often brought to him. He had no paperwork and no worries. But that was when he'd thought too soon as his door banged open and a very livid-looking Severus Snape stormed in, the door rebounding shut behind him.

"Good evening, Severus" Dumbledore said calmly in greeting.

"Might I ask what had happened for you to make such an entrance into my office without knocking?" He asked.

"He's lost it" Snape said, his voice sounding unnaturally stressed and shaken.

"Whom might I ask and what is it exactly is it that he has lost?" Dumbledore questioned while staring at the pacing man.

"Potter!" Snape said as if it was obvious to everyone but him, although it was actually the opposite. "He's lost his mind!"

Dumbledore could say he wasn't surprised but that would be a lie. "And what, may I ask, has brought you that assumption?"

"He asked me to be his father" Snape replied and suddenly stopped moving, only to sit rather heavily in the seat before Dumbledore's desk.

"And what did you say?" Dumbledore's tone never changed, but his eyebrow was raised in astomishment, not that Snape was noticing anything at this point.

"What did I--did you not hear me?" Snape growled. "Harry bloody Potter asked me to be his father!" He stressed, as though he was yet to make his point clear.

"I heard you Severus, as it was rather difficult not to" Dumbledore said in a mildly sterner tone. "I was merely expressing my curiosity as to what answer you gave the boy."

Snape stared at him as though it was the most rediculous thing he could have been asked.

"I kicked him out" He said so calmly that Dumbledore doubted he had even considered answering the boy.

"Oh, Severus" Dumbledore sighed and looked skyward for a moment. The way this man reacted to some things still astounded him to this day.

"Where is the nearest mental asylum?" Snape asked, his tone returning more to normal and he appeared to be over his brief fit.

"I do not think it would be wise to send the boy to one" Dumbledore commented.

"Not for Potter" Snape admitted, hanging his head and massaged a headache. "For me" He finished and glanced up again, trying to return to his calm and collected stance.

A silence washed over them as both men pondered on two different threads of thoughts involving what had occured barely an hour ago and where to proceed from there.

"I believe..." Dumbledore finally spoke. "That there is only one course of action that could possibly be taken" He raised a finger and summoned a house-elf.

"Yes, master Dumbledore?" The elf squeaked and bowed to the headmaster.

"Could you please retrieve Harry Potter and have him come to my office?"

"Right away, master Dumbledore!" The elf vanished with a pop and Snape instantly regained his composure.

"Did you even consider the boy's question?" Dumbledore asked as they waited for Harry.

Snape's eyebrows nitted tighter together in defiance to answering but his look plainly said "Don't even go there, old man".

Harry stared at the stone phoenix as it moved to form a staircase and he got on, his hands were sweating and he was chewing his lip softly. He was sure that he knew what this was about but was still feeling really miserable if not a bit upset by Snape's reaction earlier.

He had prepared himself to be let down and even killed for asking him to be his father, which was why it shocked him so much that he actually was quite affected by the outcome. It wasn't just the rejection or that fact that he as yet another person that didn't want him but also because in his own mind and heart...he felt that if it wasn't going to be Snape than there was no one else. His hope was finally fading.

Harry knocked on the door and then let himself inside the headmaster's office and his blood went cold again when he saw Snape standing on the right side of the room, and eyeing him with a look that was unfamiliar but also very unsettling.

"You wished to see me, sir?" Harry asked and both men didn't miss the slight croak in his tone or the defeated look his once-firey eyes contained.

Dumbledore sent Snape a scowl as though it was his fault (well, it kind of was!) and nodded to Harry before asking him to take a seat.

Harry reluctantly sat on the chair and focused on keeping all his attention on Dumbledore and not Snape but he was unable to prevent his mind was wandering back to the way Snape had yelled at him to get out once he'd asked his question. He'd even grabbed him by his collar and shoved him out the door; Harry had barely enough time to grab his books before the office door slammed in his face.

"Harry?" Dumlebore asked, seeing the boy was fighting with too many emotions and his eyes looked a little glazed over. "I was recently informed that you had approached Professor Snape with a rather unusual question earlier this evening?"

"Yes" Harry said, still refusing to look at the man somewhat behind him.

"Might I ask you what brought on such a question?" Dumbledore inquired. "You do understand what you were asking of Professor Snape?"

"Yes" Harry frowned. "I've been thinking about it since the end of summer and was planning to ask him for weeks...some good that did" He looked away.

"I am sure we all understand how much you miss your family" Dumbledore said. "But perhaps it would be best if you were to shed some light on why you felt Professor Snape was the one you chose to approach with such a request. Asking someone to be your father is asking that man to be responsible for your wellbeing, your safety, your education, your happiness...and numerous other areas of importance. That man would decide important decisions involving your life and your future. Do you understand this?"

"That is why I asked" Harry nodded and Snape inched closer to hear him better, now more confused than shocked.

"And why Professor Snape, Harry?" Dumbledore pressed again.

"Because he..." Harry pondered on how to explain everything he was feeling and everything he'd considered. "He's just...I don't know why exactly it has to be him" He sighed and took a breath, deciding to just get it out before they ruled him off as unstable.

"I know that it's a father I need, and if anyone could best fill the role I was hoping, it would be him. I want him to give me advice because I'm sure he's got a lot of it, sir. I mean he was a Death Eater but he is also a Professor....surely that garantees that he has been through a lot and learnt a lot through experiences. Plus I..." He shifted and felt embrassed to be admitting these things but there was no turning back now.

"I always wanted to know how he could be so calm even when he was clearly not. He seemed so in control and....I don't how to explain it but in some ways I wish I could do the things he did."

Snape placed a hand on the wall to his right to keep himself from falling over or passing out. If James Potter could hear his son now, Snape couldn't even imagine his reaction. The boy did respect him after all but he'd gone beyond that...what had he done to have the boy look up to him and want to be like him? Surely this wasn't true?

"He is organised and stubborn" Harry said, voicing the things he'd come to notice about the man in the last few weeks and could finally put a name too.

"He's often unfair but I think it's because he wants results and is always trying to make us do better. I would love a father who could do that: bring out the best in me" He swallowed what was left of his pride and nerves to face the man behind him. "Is that too much to ask, sir?"

Snape was about to say "yes" when Dumbledore spoke instead.

"Harry, it would seem that you are refering to someone who is more of a tutor than a father."

"Hermione thought that too" Harry turned back to face the headmaster.

"But then there is the other stuff...I want to feel safe, I want to have someone to turn to when things are too much. A tutor can't do that like a father can. I'm not sure if I could ever really explain how strongly I feel about this, sir" He sighed and glanced down again.

"I don't care if I have a bad father or one that only pays interest in the small things, but I want a father and I want it to be Professor Snape."

Snape opened his mouth to object once again but Dumbledore sensed this and stood up.

"You may go Harry, Professor Snape and I will discuss this but it was a rather big question you are asking of him."

"I understand" Harry bowed his head and left the room.

"No" Snape said to Dumbledore the moment the door had shut behind the boy.

"Severus..."

"No" He said again, more firmly.

"Hear me about" Dumbledore gave him a stern gaze and Snape almost said "no" again but the look he was recieving barely stopped him.

"The boy needs someone, he is falling apart inside, I can see that. He said so himself that even if you're not really there for him as a father would be...at least you would be there for some of it."

"No" Snape said again but less firmly this time. "I can't be that boy's father, Albus."

"Because of James?" Dumbledore asked, trying to find out why but the man was being particularly hard to read today. "Or because of Lily?"

"Because of me" Snape corrected. "I can barely tolerate the boy as it is, much less of be his father."

"He looks up to you, if his words meant anything" Dumbledore said, clearly not too pleased with Snape's reluctance.

"You are telling me to pratically raise that brat!" Snape scowled. "I can't give what the boy wants."

"I doubt that, he is not asking you to be expressive of your emotions or tuck him in at night, he is merely asking for someone to watch out for him...which you have been doing already."

"Not in the sense of tutoring him, giving him advice and does he honestly think that he could trust me? That he would feel safe around me?" Snape scoffed and sat on the chair he had previous occupied. "No, Albus. I can't do this."

"Can't or won't?" Dumlebore asked as he approached the man.

"Both" Snape frowned.

"He is Lily's son" Dumbledore added.

"Don't remind me, you manipulative old man" Snape growled but that thought was still lingering on his mind for it was true: Harry was Lily's son and he was asking him to be his father, something he would have been anyway if she hadn't gone off with James...if he hadn't foolishly ruined his own life in their 5th year by calling her that dreadful name.

"Haven't you ever wanted a son, Severus?" Dumbledore asked. "And this is your chance to be close to Lily's living memory, to make her proud. You could both gain anormously from this situation."

"No" Snape said again and got up to leave, intending to just stroll out of there and never look back on this night, but he paused and turned to glance at Dumbledore once more.

"James Potter is living through that boy for the sheer purpose of haunting me" He said. "How could I raise such a brat? He wants a father but I am not the right man for that job."

"You won't have to adopt him" Dumbledore said. "Merely be there for him, help him when he needs it...and he has more of his mother in him than you dare to see."

Snape glared and turned the knob, pushing the door open and then strolled down the stairs.

His mind had been made up when Harry had asked him, he held that decision when he'd gone to Dumbledore and it remained strong as he left the office. But as Snape reached his private quarters in the dungeons...he began to doubt.

"Harry?" Hermione asked as she saw him returning to the common room.

"What did Dumbledore want?" Ron added.

"Leave me alone" Harry replied and went up to the dormitory. He pulled the privacy curtains around himself and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees.

He had felt like crying, and throwing something breakable at the walls, but strangely as he sat there his hope started to return to some extent.

It had been a huge question to dump on the unsuspecting teacher than had long accepted that they hated each other...maybe he just needed some time? Harry lay down and felt a bit better, thinking his professor just needed time to really consider it and only then would get be given the final decision. All he could do was hope, wait and pray.

It was another few days before Harry saw Snape again, unaware of the intense series of thinking and debating that the man had been tormenting himself with for long periods of time. But it wasn't as though Harry could skip potions that Tuesday morning and get away with it, so seeing no other option other than to just face the classroom...Harry followed behind his sympathetic friends as they took their seats.

"Alright there, scarhead?" Draco asked loudly and the other slytherins sniggered for Harry really was looking rather miserable.

"Shut up, Malfoy" Ron growled.

"Ignore him" Hermione said to Harry and he nodded.

"He's just being a git like always" Ron added as the doors opened and Snape stepped into the room, giving out the instructions for the lesson before he had even reached the front of the classroom.

 His eyes scanned over the students until they fell on Harry and he could not deny that the boy appeared to be getting as much sleep as he was, which was to say they were both undersleeping. But what did he have to mull about? The boy wasn't the one with the decision, although Snape hated to admit (but the evidence was all too clear) that Harry certainly looked downright miserable. His gaze roamed over the pages of his textbook slowly and he barely paid his potion much thought or attention.

Snape hadn't made up his mind and considered him a foolishly crazy man for even considering it...but when he took a few steps towards Goyle as his potion was forming into sludge, he saw Harry glance over at him and those pained, emerald eyes struck Snape's own. It was only for a fraction of three seconds but they'd had their effect.

He had only seen that look once before: When he and Lily had lost their long-term friendship and parted to their own ways. It was a look Snape never wanted to see again as guilt and remorse flooded him and he felt that if he followed through with what he had now decided...there was no turning back, there would be no quick exits...he had to stick to his word as always and truly commit himself to such a decision.

Another reason he'd said "no" was because he had no idea how to be a father, how to care for a child...he desperately feared ever falling into this role with anyone for he always worried he'd crack and become what his father was: a heartless monster. But Lily had taught him that he had a heart, no matter how deep he tried to bury it, the heart was always there and willing to love if he gave it the chance to. Perhaps he should chance it, perhaps he and Harry truly could both gain from this situation?

"Merlin help me" Snape muttered too quietly for anyone to hear.

--

Harry frowned as he read a line of instructions in his book, not quite sure if it was making much sense, but than again his mood was so defeated he wasn't sure if he even cared.

"Satisfactory effort, as usual Miss Granger" Snape commented as he approached their desk and Harry's head instantly snapped up. "Mr Weasley, what is this?" He scowled into Ron's cauldron.

"Er...I..." Ron frowned as he looked into the cauldron and scanned over his book uncertainly while Hermione just rolled her eyes and tried to help him.

"Mr Potter..." Snape glanced at him instead of his cauldron while Ron and Hermione tried not to pay attention and the worry for their friend won over.

"Sir?" Harry replied and glanced into his cauldron quickly, checking it wasn't too bad but it was the correct shade, even if it was a bit darker than it was supposed to be.

"You seem to still be on step five while everyone else is halfway" Snape said. "Slacking off again, are we?"

"No sir" Harry sighed, his mood hit rock bottom as he looked back at his textbook. "I am not sure what to make of step five, it's confusing" And much to the shock of those paying attention, Snape grabbed the book and read the line before handing it back.

"I do not find it is too difficult to comprehend, Mr Potter" Snape replied. "You are to increase the heat and then add the liver. Stir it twice, lowering the heat once again before adding the final ingredient."

"Oh" Harry looked at his book and frowned. "That makes more sense, thanks sir" He said and looked up greatfully but Snape had already turned to rectify Longbottom's slowly-melting cauldron.

"He helped you" Hermione mouthed to Harry with a delighted grin and even Ron as looking rather optimistic.

"Yeah" Harry smiled. "He did" He felt a wash of relief and hope fill him as Snape never even helped the Slytherins unless they asked for it, and he was a Gryffindor although he had asked for it, in his own way. Granted Snape's response wasn't exactly nice but the fact that he hadn't just insulted and walked away was enough to brighten Harry's day.

"Mr Longbottom, are you capable of doing anything right?" Snape hissed angrily as he fixed Neville's cauldron for what he felt was the millionth time since the boy had stepped foot inside his classroom that first day.

"S-Sorr-ry...I..." Neville gulped and paled while the Slytherins sniggered.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Start over" He ordered and went back to the front of the classroom, allowing his eyes to find Harry who was...working hard and was looking rather content about something. Who would have thought that it was Snape's slight actions that had improved his mood rather than them having the opposite effect.

And by the end of the lesson, Harry had produced quite an okay potion and he was rather relieved to that fact, so sure that if Snape hadn't "helped" him than it would have ended up as foul slop at the bottom of his cauldron.

"Class dismissed" Snape announced and turned his back on the classroom.

"Harry?" He heard Hermione ask but he remained turned around, unaware of the boy that was approaching him until his soft voice reached him.

"Thanks" Harry said and then hurried after his friends, accidently knocking a jar onto the ground, which smashed and sent peppermint leaves all over the floor. Harry visably winced as his friends rushed to help him pick them up but Snape had not moved until the three Gryffindors were done cleaning up and had prepared to leave.

"Mr Potter" Snape said and turned to face them, seeing the annoyed expression on the boy's face as he eyed the now-repaired and refilled jar of peppermint leaves.

"Yes sir?" Harry asked as his friends backed away and left the classroom at Hermione's urging.

"This...position, you have requested of me" Snape began and Harry felt his breath catch in his throat as he knew what he was talking about since he looked so uncomfortable.

While Harry nodded, Snape was preparing to state that he was "forced to once again decline" but there was a spark of something in Harry's eyes that had never been in Lily's eyes...was it need? No, she had shown him that before when she was upset or frustrated over homework. Was it...anxiety? That wasn't right either. Then it hit him...Harry was desperate. Did this really mean that much to the boy? Surely not...Snape had never experienced someone needing or even wanting him that desperately for any reason.

"Professor?" Harry asked, biting his lip in a very Lily-like way.

"I..." Snape frowned; what was he to say now? If he didn't have his mother's eyes, that boy would easily have been turfed out of the labs by now.

"It is my understanding that you have indeed thought something through for once?" He asked. "You understand what you are asking of me? What responsibilities and decisions that you are bestowing upon my shoulders?"

"Yes sir" Harry nodded. "I thought about it for weeks, I...don't want to be a burden" He added, although Snape had a very hard time to believe that. The boy had run out of words so Snape continued.

"You understand that if I tell you to do something you are to do so, without any of your childish back-chatting or incompetence?" He asked and Harry nodded, looking a bit grim now.

"You will respect any decisions I make involving you for I will only have your overall interests in mind?"

"I will sir" Harry sighed.

"I don't believe you" Snape said honestly and as if to prove his point, Harry opened his mouth to object. "However..." He added and Harry's mouth closed quickly.

 'Since you insist that you have very little adult guildance in you life...those childish actions are overseen to a point, but trust that I will punish you if I see fit."

"Does this mean you're..." Harry perked up hopefully. "You're going to be my new father?"

"I am going to regret such a insane decision, but yes Mr Potter...to an extent, I will fulfill the tasks that a father does for a son" He said, not openly accepting or agreeing to be a father to the boy.

"Thanks!" Harry grinned and for a brief second, Snape was so sure the boy was about to hug him but seemed to have caught himself just in time.

"This is to remain between us" Snape added. "I do not think it would be a wise move for this news to spread."

"Of course" Harry nodded, not being able to stop grinning or feel the swelling of happiness inside him. "So...what happens now?" He wondered.

"Now, you leave before I change my mind" Snape said, not intending to be so honest but the boy was gone in seconds so he inhaled sharply and headed for his office. Where to go from here, indeed.

Harry almost skipped his way to the Great Hall and was grinning like an idiot when he met up with his friends.

"I've never seen that look on your face after being around Snape" Ron commented with raised eyebrows. "Are you okay, mate?"

"He accepted" Harry explained and Hermione shared his happiness while Ron tried to but couldn't help to point out that their lives could end up as hell now.

"No, you're wrong" Harry said to Ron. "For the first time in my life since I was one-year-old, I'm going to have a parent, someone who will..." He then paused and thought for a moment. "But, he won't really care about me, will he?" Harry sighed and his mood dropped.

"Dumbledore probably told him to do this...he might not even want anything to do with me besides my grades."

"Ronald" Hermione scowled at him for she felt this was his fault. "Harry, you can't think like that. I doubt Snape would have agreed if he wasn't willing to go through with it."

"She's right, mate" Ron added, mostly to avoid Hermione's wrath for he was as unsure as Harry.

"Miss Granger!" McGongall called out and the friends turned to her as she approached so Harry took the chace to sneak off and neither noticed at first until he was long gone.

--

Harry took the stairs two at a time with the intent of going to his dormitory and looking over the photo album Hagrid had given him the previous year but he wasn't paying attention to the staircases and soon found himself on the 5th floor. But before he could turn back, he noticed a stone door that he couldn't remember ever seeing last year.

Curiosity and Gryffindor bravery posessed him to approach the door and he pushed it open to reveal a room. It was dusty and cobwebbed but otherwise utterly empty.

"Hey, watch it boy!" A rude voice barked and Harry glanced towards the right where a life-sized painting was resting.

"Sorry" Harry said, staring at the painting of an old man with a mostache and thick robes. His appearance was blurred by age, lack of colour and dust so those were the only things Harry could really make out from where he was. "Who are you?" Harry asked. "And what is this room?"

"Who gave you the right to barge in here and interupt my peace with rediculous questions?" The man growled.

"Now you sound like Snape" Harry sighed. "I'll leave" He turned but the man spoke again.

"Did you say Snape?" He asked. "Severus Snape?"

"Yes...do you know him?" Harry wondered but couldn't see how if he was stuck up in this room all the time.

"I visit my great-aunt's portrait sometimes" The man nodded. "And she lives in Dumbledore's office and she has seen him quite often, always complaining about how stubborn he is...quite an eavesdropper my great-aunt Millie" He shook his head.

"I'm Archald Farring and even I know Harry Potter when I see him. What are you doing in my room of emptiness?"

"Room of emptiness?" Harry repeated.

"It's empty, ain't it?" Archald joked. "It's for when students are feeling rather down and they come in here to be alone, most of them whinge and cry to me but I've been lucky these last fifty years or so."

"I've never seen this room before" Harry commented as he approached the portrait.

"Well you're not even a third year yet, no wonder! But that is good, only those really lacking something huge in their life can see this place. Let me have a look at you" He instructed and Harry came closer still.

"Ah yes...an orphan boy. Either than or neglecting parents, haven't had one of those kids since Severus Snape himself were here."

"But you said you heard of him from..." Harry frowned, now distrusting of the stranger.

"I did, but I never said I haven't met him now...did I?" Achald scowled. "Listen here boy, if this is the first time you've seen this room than whatever is going on with you is rather recent, I thought you've been an orphan since you were a baby?"

"I was, but recently I've been thinking..." Harry said and didn't notice the door shutting as he sat on the stone floor in front of the portait as floating candles instantly appeared. And so he proceeded to tell small details to the stranger, unsure as to why he was confiding in someone he didn't know or that wasn't even alive but he just wanted to get it out, vent to someone who wouldn't feel overwhelmingly sympathtic towards him.

"The moment you entered this room, all I get is Severus Snape" Archald sighed.

"And I hear you kid but I ain't no counceller. Although...I do not belive you should worry."

"Why not? He's Snape...greasy git" Harry frowned. "He's probably doing this because he was told to."

"Perhaps. But you have your mother's eyes" Archald said knowingly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Harry frowned.

"Lily Evans was a dear friend of his" Archald shrugged. "At least they were until he locked himself up here for days during his 5th year."

"I didn't know that" Harry said in surprise and slight anger that no one had told him.

"And you didn't hear it from me!" Archald growled. "I do not normally share what I hear in this room for it's a sactuary to those within, apart from me...but you need to hear something: Severus Snape is no heartless man. He has suffered far more in his youth than he has in his adult life and he's been through just about everything in his adult life. He will do right by you kid, it just make take him some time to come around" Archald nodded.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked skeptically.

"You're asking this of a man who has spent seven years listening to that boy cry and spill his frustrations or pain. Trust me, I know."

"Thanks" Harry said as he got to his feet.

"Feeling better?" Archald asked.

"Yes sir" Harry cracked a smile.

"Good, now clear off!" The man suddenly snapped and pointed to the door, startling Harry. But he obeyed and left through the door.

But as he turned to close it he found a corridor greeting him that was in place of where the room had been. Had it even been real?

"I hate you" Where the first words out of Snape's mouth as he entered Dumbledore's office later that night and stared hard at the old man.

"Good evening, Severus" Dumbledore said as though "I hate you" was a nice form of greeting. "Lemondrop?"

"No" Snape glared as he sat on the seat and remained quiet for a moment. "If the Dark Lord is to return, how am I to explain my regretful sitation with Potter?"

"Situation?" Dumbledore prodded but correctly suspected what he was surely refering to.

"Don't play dumb, old man" Snape said. "You know exactly well what I mean! I accepted Potter's request, but you should know...they were on my own terms and for my own reasons."

"Of course" Dumbledore nodded. "As for Lord Voldemort, you would pass this building relationship between the boy as being assigned to mentor him."

"Very well" Snape nodded and found it to be such an obvious solution now.

"Albus..." He looked at the man with an uncertain air about him. "I do not know how to be a father to the boy."

"That is understandable, Severus" Dumbledore said. "For you have never been a father yourself and have not been shown a clear example of a good father" He said, refering to Tobias Snape's treatment of his son as well as the plain fact that Severus had no children of his own.

"But I do not believe that you have anything to fear. You would never harm a child and I have utmost faith in you, Severus" He explained.

"Although I cannot say much more than that. Fatherhood is a learning experience and each child requires different needs and attention, I trust you will be able to understand those things when you spend more time with the boy."

"When?" Snape frowned. "Assuming that I will. And I am not entering "fatherhood" as you so incorrectly put it" He said, still refusing to fully accept his new role in the boy's life.

"Ah...but you are my friend" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled more than usual. "And I have no doubt that given enough time and understanding, you will make an excellent father for the boy."

"Raising the spawn of James Potter will be no easy task, I assure you" Snape said firmly and once again wondered how his mind had tricked him into agreeing to this entire insanity to begin with.

--

After his "discussion" with Dumbledore, Snape headed back to his quarters but along the way he heard a sound and knew it was past curfew so went to investigate.

 He rounded a corner near his office and hoped that no one was trying to steal from his private storage because he was so not in the mood right now. He turned another corner and that was where he spotted Harry knocking profoundly loud on his office door.

"Stupid git" Harry said and stopped knocking, now just staring at the door.

"Probably off gossiping about me and planning how to make me feel even worst. I was stupid to think he would do this for any reason other than stupid Dumbledore, and Ron was right...he would never care about me. I'm fooling myself" Harry sighed and sniffled, turning to stare wide-eyed at Snape himself. "Er...sir."

"It is more than an hour past curfew, Potter!" He scowled. "Ten points from Gryffindor. Now what absurd reason do you have for pounding on my door at this time of night?"

"I...it's nothing" Harry said in a rejected tone.

"So you prowled around after curfew for nothing?" Snape sneered.

"Another ten points, until you tell me the truth" He could see Harry's jaw stiffen as he bit back a complaint and objection.

"Fine" Harry hissed. "I was coming to ask you why you never told me that you knew my mum."

"Archald" Severus growled, since his great-aunt Millie had been missing that night, he knew where she was and judging by Harry's slumped shoulders and sullen face he was sure he'd had enough amount of misery to find the room of emptiness. "I did not feel as though this information would benefit you in any way."

"I seem to be the only one that doesn't know anything about my parents" Harry grumbled.

"If that is all, you are still out after curfew" Snape said and when Harry said nothing, he nodded. "I will escort you back to the Gryffindor tower to ensure that you stay there."

"But...fine" Harry sighed and followed him back to the 7th floor. "If you don't mind me asking..."

"I do" Snape cut in. "But continue."

"Well, how exactly is this whole..." Harry glanced around. "...father thing going to work out?"

"We are here" Snape said as he stared at the staircase leading right to the fat lady.

"Sir?" Harry inquired again.

"I am yet to brush over the details myself, Mr Potter" Snape sighed in annoyance. "When I am certain, you shall be the first to know."

"Oh okay" Harry nodded. "But I just...well I thought we could take it slow, one step at a time. Like homework and grades and then move on the the actual...stuff" He shrugged and looked away in embarrassment.

"Nevermind, goodnight" He said and went to leave.

"Mr Potter" Snape said and he turned back.

"For future reference...I do not gossip" He said in response to Harry's disgruntled mutterings eariler.

"Right, sorry sir" Harry said and gave the password to the fat lady.

"Goodnight, Mr Potter" Snape said and walked away while Harry stood there transfixed.

He had no idea what was going to happen next but he could tell that Snape was at least making an effort not to be so unfair and mean lately...but then again, he had just deducted twenty points because he simply felt like it.

The following day was alike any other, Harry was even starting to wonder if anything had changed between Snape and himself for it certainly didn't seem like it. Those thoughts remained three days later as Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way to Potions.

"Are you sure he said..."

"Yes, Ron" Harry sighed for the third time that day. "I'm sure."

"Just checking" His redheaded friend sighed and went back to chopping.

Harry's potion wasn't doing too well as he spent most of his time sneaking a glance at Snape or was distracted by his thoughts and confusion.

--

Before long, the class had ended as though it had barely begun and Harry was packing away this things and cleaning his table.

"Mr Potter, remain behind" Snape said and Harry cast a nervous glance at his friends. Ron gave him a thumbs up while Hermione mouthed "good luck" and with that they had left behind the rest of the class.

"Sit" Snape ordered and pointed at a random desk, which Harry obeyed and hastily sat at. He placed a piece of paper in front of Harry, which appeared to be a timetable.

"What's this?" Harry asked, not rally bothering to read it.

"Your new schedule" Snape replied in a dull tone. "You will not be late and you will have plenty of time to study or do your schoolwork. I expect you to follow it without fail."

"Yes sir" Harry said, now giving it some attention. "What about Quidditich?"

"That would be under "free time", Mr Potter" Snape sighed.

"Oh" Harry said, seeing the small parts marked "free time"...the very tiny sections.

"And this is supposed to help me get better at my classes?"

"Do you doubt me?" Snape frowned in annoyance.

"No" Harry shook his head.

"You will also have three study sessions with me per week" Snape added and indicated them on the schedule. "Monday, Thursday and Saturday night at 7pm sharp. You will not be late" He added.

"Bring any work you are lacking in and I will assist you with them" Snape told him and raised an eyebrow as Harry breathed in relief and looked up at him.

"Thank sir, that would really help" Harry smiled.

"Hense the purpose" Snape said. "You are dismissed."

"Right, thanks again" Harry nodded and left the classroom, grabbing his books and bag along the way.

Snape watched him leave and crossed his arms, somewhat relieved that the boy had no idea the amount of hours he'd put into the schedule or what he was sacrificing (such as his sanity and patience) by agreeing to spend three hours with Harry per week.

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and went to find a butterbeer or perhaps some student assignments to take his stress out on.

"I think this will really work" Hermione said as she looked over Harry's new schedule once again on Thursday afternoon, several hours before Harry was due for his first studying session with Snape.

"Which ones should I take?" Harry groaned as he and Ron sorted through his unfinished homework and poorly-written notes, ignoring Hermione's comment altogether.

"That Charms essay is nasty" Ron suggested so Harry grabbed that.

"I can't go empty-handed" Harry said anxiously, now stressed and unsettled by the entire event. "What about that Transfiguration assignment?"

"Yeah" Ron nodded with a wince. "I haven't even started that yet."

"Honestly Ron, it's due in three days!" Hermione rolled her eyes as she passed the schedule back to Harry and exmained what he'd chosen so far. "And the potions essay" She suggested.

"I'm doomed" Harry sighed, slumping back onto his bed, shoving more parchment and books aside.

"I hate to agree with you, mate" Ron pat his back.

--

Harry shifted the weight of his books and parchment as he cranned his neck to check the time and after seeing that it was almost 7pm already...he hurried his footsteps.

Snape glanced up from his desk as Harry entered the room and dumped a pile of books and papers on a student desk that had been placed in the office. Ink bottles, quills, parchments and books scattered and some slipped to the floor.

"Sorry" Harry winced and quickly fixed them up.

Snape had paused and stared at the boy for he'd expected a few unfinished or lacking pieces of work...not his entire course of schoolwork.

"You need help with...all of this?" Snape approached the desk.

"I...well not really" Harry admitted. "Most of it I was just hoping you could check for me or something?" Harry shrugged, not entirely sure how this process was supposed to work out and felt a bit stupid for bringing everything.

"Hm" Snape held out a hand and it took a moment for Harry to understand that he wanted those particular pieces of work.

"I'll...just work on my Charms essay" Harry said as he sat down and Snape walked away to exmaine his work.

And so a blanket of silence (apart from scratching quills) fell upon the room for close to half an hour beofre Snape walked over to Harry's desk, just as the boy finished his Charms essay with a satisfied grunt.

"Poor effort, Mr Potter" Snape sighed as he place the pieces on the desk and Harry thought he had scribbled red all over it but then noticed the crossouts and suggestions marked all over the place.

"It needs work" Snape added and snatched up the Charms essay as well as what Harry had done so far on his Transfiguration and Potions work.

Harry sighed deeply and grabbed another ink bottle as he set to rewrite his work and use some of Snape's suggestions for improvement.

It was like a quieter version of a theory lesson, and it took more than an hour. By the time Harry dragged his things back to the Gryffindor common room, most of the people had gone to bed for it was almost 10pm.

"Harry!" Hermione spotted him enter.

"There you are, about time mate" Ron said as Harry dumped his things and joined them in front of the fireplace, collapsing on an armchair.

"Well, how'd it go?" Ron questioned.

"Dreadful" Harry groaned.

"Surely it wasn't that bad?" Hermioned asked.

"You weren't there" Harry said, his eyes closed as he rested his head against the back of the chair. "It was torture...horrible and endless torture! My hand feels numb and my brain is aching" He exagerated dramatically.

"Do you know how many times I had to rewrite pages of work? Five times for the Charms essay and we were just getting started."

"Ouch" Ron winced at the thought.

"Well at least you know you'll get good marks for it" Hermione reasoned.

"He still said it was "barely acceptable" when I finished" Harry told her, slacking his head to look at his two best friends.

 'I'm going to go to bed and die" He said and got up as though he hadn't been joking.

"Should I keep an eye on him?" Ron joked while Hermione rolled her eyes and got up as well, approaching Harry's stuff to read it over.

And for weeks, that was how things were. Although Harry began to see results for his teachers were indeed impressed with his work and his grades were improving.

But Snape never changed, he never attempted to talk or engage in direct help unless it involved a red-inked quill and various pages of books that he shoved under Harry's nose. But in the most sense of honestly...things were going quite okay. Until one Sunday night.

He didn't know what brought it on for things had been calm and uneventful, in fact he'd just won a Quidditch match not long ago...but it was almost 11pm when Harry's peaceful slumber changed...

--It was dark and he was standing alone in the forbidden forest. There was a rush of cold wind and Harry heard sounds of something moving all around him but he couldn't see anything.

Then a hand reached out of nowhere and grabbed him, pulling him into a thick cloud of fog.

When he got through, Harry was crouched on his knees as a clocked figure ahead of him walked towards a...cot? Only he wasn't in the forest anymore but a house, a familiar house.

"No..." Harry gasped as he realized what he was seeing when he saw the dark figure approach a woman with red hair and who was cradling a baby.

"Hush Harry, it's time for sleep" Lily said softly but then turned and her emerald eyes went wide in terror as she saw the cloaked man with his wand raised.

"Stand aside" A dark voice that Harry had heard last year...Lord Voldemort.

Harry couldn't move or scream as a flash of green light blinded him and was followed by the helpless cries of his younger, baby self.

The walls darkened and the floor turned to wet blood as Harry tried to escape it, but it was surrounding him and swallowing him with the only sounds being the cries of the orphaned baby...

--

"Argh!" Harry jerked upright and felt the sweat on his face and the surroundings came back into view. No blood, no crying baby...just his dormitory.

He glanced at the time and saw it was almost 4am but didn't dare to go back to sleep. He had imagined his parent's deaths at times but to see it in his dreams so horribly, it really scared him and the memories from the year before came flooding back as well.

His pillow was soaked and his hair was too, so Harry went to wash his face and changed into his clothes and headed into the common room.

Using the light of the fireplace, Harry sorted through the work he was going to take to his study session with Snape later and wished they'd bonded enough for him to share the details of his dream with him, but what would the man say? Call him weak? State that it was just a silly dream? No, Harry couldn't stand to have him say that...it felt too real and threatening.

"Focus, Potter" Snape frowned as Harry's gaze drifted from his work again. The boy said nothing as he yawned from lack of sleep that morning and tried to finish his paragraph but had no sucess.

Snape pinched his nose as Harry once again chewed lightly on his quill and squirmed in his seat.

He said nothing this time and just stared harder in attempt to figure out what was making the boy lack in effort, patience and focus tonight. His eyes were darkened and his face slightly paler...if that was any indication that something wasn't right.

"Am I incorrect in assuming that you did not have the required amount of sleep last night, Potter?" Snape sneered. "Stayed up late to party with your Gryffindor friends, did you?"

"No sir" Harry said, yawning again. "I just got up too early."

"And for what reason?" Snape inquired. "Exactly how early are you refering to?"

"Erm, 4am I think it was" Harry sighed, giving up on his work for now.

"And I just...had a bad dream" He shrugged it off. "Did you say page 64 or 46?"

"72" Snape replied dully, crossing his arms as he stared down at the boy.

"Oh" Harry frowned and grabbed his potions textbook in search of the page on recognising certain poisons and how to avoid them.

Snape glanced towards the fireplace as the flames came to life while turning green and McGonagall's voice called out to him.

"What is it, Minerva?" He asked dully but knew that it must be important.

"Professor Dumbledore..." McGonagall paused as she saw Harry working away at a desk nearby. "Professor Dumbledore has requested a staff meeting and we need your opinions on certain topics. It won't take a minute, Severus."

"Very well" Snape nodded and she cast Harry one more surprised look before vanishing as quickly as she had appeared.

 'Potter, keep writing and do not leave this desk, understood?" He instructed with every ounce of firmness that he could manage.

"Yes sir; don't leave desk. Got it" Harry said whilst trying not to yawn again.

"Hm" Snape said skeptically but seemed to have made a unspoken decision and soon left through the fireplace.

Any other day, Harry would have been astounded at the trust Snape put in him for leaving him alone in his office but he was just too tired to care and within seconds, his eyes began to droop.

Before long, his head fell onto his freshly-inked parchment and he had fallen asleep with his quill still loosely gripped in his hand.

And that was exactly how Snape found him ten minutes later and to say the least; he wasn't impressed.

"Potter!" Snape reached out to the boy, but snatched his hand back in reflex when Harry jerked away and his eyes went wide, his face paler than it was before.

"Sorry" Harry mumbled but his eyes looked haunted and he seemed rather disoriented.

Snape checked the time and saw it was still rather early and couldn't understand why Harry was so tired, or perhaps it was a result of the dream he'd mentioned earlier?

"I would like a reason for why you have slacked off and fallen asleep during this session, Mr Potter" Snape crossed his arms.

"I told you: I didn't get much sleep" Harry yawned again and scowled at his smudged work that sat on his desk in a black mess.

"And a simple dream was the cause of such tardiness?" Snape raised an eyebrow skeptically, his dark eyes staring reluctantly into his emerald ones.

"Okay, so maybe it was a nightmare and not just a dream" Harry rolled his eyes but lowered his gaze.

Wasn't this what he'd wanted? Someone to talk to and confide in? But he still doubted the reply he was sure to recieve would be the kind he needed, but Snape wasn't going to drop the subject until he got detailing enough answers.

"About...my mum dying, okay?" He mumbled out and averted his gaze as though he was guilty of something embarassing.

Snape lowered his arms and said nothing for a moment, covering his silence by glancing at Harry's work.

"I do not believe that we will acomplish much more tonight. Go, and take the opportunity to rest for I will not have you falling asleep during our next session nor during your classes, is that understood?"

"Yes, sir" Harry nodded and gathered his things as he prepared to leave.

"Mr Potter?" Snape said again and Harry glanced at him, only to see the professor wiping his cheek.

But he kept doing it until Harry finally caught on and wiped his own cheek, seeing ink on his hand.

Snape rolled his eyes as Harry just suceeded in smudging it further. He pulled out his wand and cleaned it magically before allowing the boy to leave.

"Thanks, goodnight" Harry said and left the room hurridly.

Snape said nothing but felt as though the boy was already starting to make him soft.

Harry had gone straight to bed once he got back to the common room and slept through breakfast the following morning; not that he minded for there were no more nightmares. No one had woken him because they had a free period that morning, much to Harry's relief.

He got up and dressed, feeling a bit worn down from the recent change in his sleeping patterns but once Harry met up with his friends and shared some snacks, he was feeling much better and proceeded to tell them what had happened the previous night.

"If I'd fallen asleep, Snape would've killed me!" Ron commented, chuckling slightly. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, it was just a stupid dream" Harry shook his head. "I wonder what the staff meeting was about?"

"Who knows, probably something my brothers did again" Ron shrugged.

"And he wiped the ink off?" Hermione commented again on what the boys considered more irrelevant aspects.

"Yeah, so?" Harry asked but knew she meant that he would previously have never done that.

"He may be being a bit nicer, Hermione, but it's still not like we're father and son" He sighed.

"Give it time, mate" Ron said.

"Ron's right, Harry" Hermione said with a nod. "At least you're both making progress. And he does things differently, sometimes it may seem like he's just trying to get rid of you but I think he actually saw how tired you were and considered your wellbeing" She said and both boys looked at her oddly.

"Maybe" Harry replied. "I just can't believe I fell asleep, it's so embarassing! And I have another session with him tomorrow, I bet I'll have to catch up on what I couldn't do last night" He groaned.

--

They had Transfiguration after lunch in which was mostly theory, but afterwards Professor McGonagall requested for Harry to remain behind.

"Potter, did you have yet another detention with Professor Snape last evening?" She asked him.

"No" Harry shook his head, confused but then remembered the surprised look she'd given him that night as she'd come to ask Snape to attend the meeting and had seen him working there.

"Oh, no...I have study sessions with Snape" He explained briefly.

"Professor Snape" She corrected and looked rather astonished. "Every night?"

"No, just some nights. He's helping me improve my grades" Harry told her, not sure if he should tell her the full truth or not. It wasn't as though she would spread rumours or tell everyone, although he wasn't sure if he wanted the entire staff to know either.

"Really? And might I ask what brought this on?" She questioned. "For I am certainly seeing the results in your work, Potter."

"Thanks and nothing much really, I just needed some help so I went to Snape" He shrugged.

"Professor Snape, and I thought you two...didn't get along?" She raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"We didn't, but in a weird way...he was the best man for the job" Harry said and started feeling rather uncomfortable about the conversation and not being able to tell her the full truth.

"May I go now?"

"Yes, thank you" McGonagall nodded and watched Harry leave her classroom, wondering what the world was coming to if Harry Potter and Severus Snape were on good terms and the latter was actually helping the boy pass his grades (and not just for Potions, either)...and the most interesting thing was that their "teamwork" was actually giving good results.

McGonagall was curious so she asked around with some of Harry's other teachers and found that his grades were indeed improving in all of them, as she'd suspected.

Flitwick was most impressed and even Binns has some good comments to give on the boy's work. The only one who had the least awareness of any changes was Lockhart, but McGonagall didn't blame anyone who failed in those pathetic lessons that he "taught".

Harry awoke rather early on Sunday and soon found that he was the only one up and for good reason as the sun hadn't even started to rise over the mountains in the distance yet. He considered this an after-effect of his scrambled sleeping hours and dressed before going to the bathroom.

Harry made his way into the common room and spotted only three other Gryffindors there. Two sxith year girls were pouring over schoolwork and a fourth year boy was writing what appeared to be a letter over by the fire. Harry ignored them as none looked up when he passed and left the common room altogether.

He wandered down the stairs and saw that the Great Hall was empty, no doubt still rather early for breakfast, so he made his way to the astronomy tower and just looked over at the misty grounds of Hogwards and the surrounding mountains, thinking deeply about the recent events in his life that have already seemed to make so much difference in how he thought, acted and even felt about other aspects.

Whenever he'd heard people talking about Lily and James Potter, Harry was proud to be their son. They were brave, caring and everyone seemed to love them...they clearly loved him for they'd sacrificed their lives for him. But that didn't change the fact that they weren't around.

Harry was thankful for being alive, and he loved them even if he couldn't even remember them...but he needed someone. Had they named him a godparent? Were there any other living relatives out there besides the magic-hating Dursleys? He didn't know, but since they hadn't shown up to claim him, Harry had a feeling that there was no one else.

And then there was Snape. His new father, a man he'd spent the entire part of last year hating but now found that he looked up to him in a way and was thirsty for the knowledge that the man was sure to have gained from experiences and his own years of schooling.

When he'd made the decision to get himself a new father, Harry had accepted that Snape would be resourceful, helpful and stern when it came to his education and that he could make him feel safe as well as being able to confide in him.

He'd told himself that those things were more important than the other stuff...the love, the caring and the ability to just show affection during moments that were emotional or if Harry was going through something really hard. He'd told himself that compared to the other stuff, he didn't need his father to love him like a son...for he'd grown up without that for so long; why would he need it now? Especially since he was almost a teenager.

But as Harry stood up in the tower and looked over at the now-golden-tipped mountains, he was feeling skeptical and a part of him wished he could have the softer things of a father/son relationship as well. And now that was going to haunt him. Because deep down he knew...Snape could never provide him with that. Harry didn't even know if the man was capable of such feelings and selflessness, of being able to provide a child with warmth and comfort with gestures instead of words.

No, Harry had a feeling he would never get those things from his newfound father. He had previously accepted that, but now it was more complicated. The more he got from Snape, the more he wanted.

He felt selfish and horrible about it, yet it was the truth...Harry wanted the whole father/son relationship...not just fractions of it.

--

And while Harry was many floors above, pondering on those thoughts...down in the dungeons the very man the boy felt was incapable of such providing thoughts was actually awake as well.

Snape had just finished brewing a few potions for the hospital wing as he'd woken early and decided to be productive. Potion-making also provided him with a distraction for he had to concentrate on the brewing and not his own troublesome thoughts.

But now he was done and sat alone in his study with a pile of finished assignments sitting in front of him that he'd just marked.

He rose from the chair and began pacing the room slowly, his hands behind his back as he did so and his face was facing the floor. He ignored his hair as it brushed in front of his range of sight, since he was so used to it.

He pondered on how he had treated the boy since agreeing to the insanity of becoming his father and felt that he wasn't really playing the part as he'd expected.

Firstly he'd assumed he would do terribly and wouldn't be able to stand the boy for long, but Harry had done what he was told and appeared to be showing some self control. Which annoyed Snape because it forced him to look at the boy for more than being the spawn of James Potter...even if it was only for a few moments but now it seemed he couldn't stop comparing the differences between Harry and James, adding into the equation the things he'd gotten from Lily instead.

And secondly, he wasn't even sure how to act around the boy.

Snape sighed and sat in an armchair that was in his private quarters and focused purely on what could be improved.

He was helping the boy with his schoolwork, even if he felt not much was changing but at least the boy was trying harder in those areas. Isn't that what he'd wanted? To get better grades and have someone help him do that? Well he had done that and still was. But what else had the boy wanted? Someone to be safe with and trust? Snape felt that wasn't going to happen, not because of him but because the boy hated him all last year (and perhaps it was his fault for treating him that way), so he scratched that out of his concerns.

The boy made it clear that he wanted a father, not a tutor. What else does a father do?

Snape sighed and knew that there was only one way to go about this. For now that he'd agreed to it, he wanted to follow through with it and...also for Lily's sake.

He had a small feeling of warmth when he thought of having a son now, because Lily was the mother. He caught himself the previous night for trying to imagine Harry as his and Lily's son...how he wished things had been. So now his hatred for James Potter had faded because he'd come to pretend that he'd never even existed. The only solution to how Snape would be able to really know what to do and react the way he should towards the boy was ...he had to truly consider the boy as his son.

The thing that scared Snape the most was the fact that it wasn't hard to do. He had proven that when he has his little visulisation the previous night.

After he'd lost his friendship with Lily, Snape had never considered what it would be like to have his own family...to have a son or daughter to raise, teach and care for. But now he was starting to imagine and it infuriated him.

He was a Death Eater, a secret spy and he had a temper along with arrogance, but now he felt as though he was going soft. He was thinking of giving things he'd never really recieved: concern, unconditional trust and...love.

He had a long way to go before he could just do that naturally with Harry, but now Snape was determined to give it his all. He wanted to be a father now, no matter how much he hated those thoughts and how he tried to be in denial...it was painfully clear: this was his chance to have something he never even knew he'd wanted so badly. He was a heartbroken, sour man...Harry might be able to change that.

And Harry had no parents, he needed him. Snape had, for the first time, truly come to acknowledge that the boy had no one to guild him, care for him and teach him in a way that only a parent could. A part of him knew the Dursley's weren't giving him that, he had no idea how though...perhaps it was the malnourished look he had when he came to school last year and now this year?

"Manipulative old coot" Snape growled, for this is what Dumbledore had forseen and tried to bring about: the love buried and locked deep inside Snape that Harry could bring out. And at the same time provide Harry with something he longed for: a family.

In fact, they both longed for it.

Breakfast had started and students began to pile inside the Great Hall. Harry was amongst his friends and preparing for the day alongside hundreds of others.

Snape was already seated at the staff table when he came in but neither glanced at the other even once during their meal.

Afterwards they each left and went about their usual Sunday activities until they were to meet once again properly without the ability to ignore the other when 7pm came around.

"Enter" Snape said as Harry knocked on the door that night.

"Hey sir" Harry said as he pushed open the door and took his usual seat at the table, placing books and equipment in front of him, waiting for the man to tell him which task to begin first.

"You are well rested today, I presume?" Snape asked while lighting candles with his hand and kept his back turned away from the boy.

"Yes sir...I'm sorry about last night" Harry said quickly. "It was just a stupid dream but it kept me up and...I'm sorry."

"Tell me about it" Snape sighed and turned to face him, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so.

"Sir?" Harry looked confused and Snape had to prevent himself from rolling his eyes.

"The dream" Snape expanded. "I assume it was actually a nightmare, if it kept you awake all night."

"It's nothing" Harry shrugged and lowered his gaze to hide his surprise but Snape had caught it.

"You wanted to confide in me and yet when the oppurtunity presents itself, you decline?" Snape frowned and Harry looked up at him again.

Harry sighed and didn't know what to say or how to take the situation so reached for his books.

"Can we begin? I have a lot to catch up on from last night" He added.

"No" Snape replied. "I asked you a question and you are yet to answer."

"It was just a stupid dream!" Harry said again, more annoyed now. "Why do you care? You're only doing this because you have to."

"I do not have to do anything" Snape said, remaining calm.

"I asked you to be my father and you turned me down" Harry said. "Then Dumbledore got involved and he probably told you to do it. So yes, you're doing this because of your job and not because you actually care!" Harry said angrily.

"Can we just forget it and sart with my homework?"

Snape growled and stepped closer but didn't like how Harry flinched away from him.

"For you information, Mr Potter: I declined your request and then brought up the matter with the Headmaster. He thought I should at least try and yet I declined his manipulating as well. I agreed to this...arrangement, after I spent a considerable amount of time considering it. And I do not want to ever hear you accuse me of being a father simply because I was "told you" , as you so childishly put it" Snape said, his voice a low growl but also sterner than usual.

"You...want to do this?" Harry asked, his mouth hanging open for a second and his previous anger ebbed away as he stared up at the man. "Why?"

"Do not change the subject as it is none of your concern right now" Snape said, stepping back and crossed his arms yet again.

"Tell me about the nightmare that resulted in our session being cut short and produce less-productive results."

Harry stared at the man and tried to think of a way out of this but knew there was none, so he lowered his head and tone in defeat.

"It was about my mother, okay? I dreamt her dying and me being left alone" He admitted, flushing slightly in embarrassment, so sure that Snape was going to mock him for it.

"I see" Snape nodded while forcing his expression and tone to remain blank.

"Now that I know; you may begin on your Transifiguration theory, I believe your notes are much too scrawled to make any sense of and they should be rewritten before you begin your report."

Harry glanced up for a second but busied himself with his work quickly, barely muttering a: "Yes sir."

Snape moved over to his usual desk and watched the boy work, thinking about the nightmare that had kept him up. It wasn't just that he'd dreamed of his mother, beloved Lily, but also that he'd been left alone.. The boy hadn't been very specific (if he was refering to when he was a baby or if he meant now) but Snape thought it was best to leave the topic be for now. It did seem to just be a one-time nightmare for now, although Snape wondered what brought it on. If the boy was worried about being left alone...did Snape bring that on? He wasn't exactly giving the boy fatherly attention, only what was required involving his schoolwork.

Harry sighed as he finished copying his notes as neatly as he could and that small sound brought Snape from his thoughts and he glanced away from the boy before Harry noticed that he'd been watching him.

Harry continued to work as usual but one essay and two reports later, he noticed that Snape was now standing behind him and looking over his shoulder at his work. It made it harder for Harry to concentrate but he didn't want to encourage any comments from the man so he remained quiet and finished his tasks, trying to ignore the small pang in his stomach when Snape hadn't said anything about his nightmare.

He was relieved that the man hadn't said anything mean about it, but he also said nothing comforting. Perhaps he was wrong to be so hopeful?

"Finished" Harry breathed in relief after writing the last paragraph of his homework and leaned back in his chair, which caught Snape's attention and he looked over from his desk.

Snape glanced at the time and saw it was barely past 8pm; Harry had done good tonight indeed.

"Thanks again, sir" Harry said as he gathered his things as usual but kept his head bowed slightly, something Snape noticed.

"And I'll read that chapter you recommended" He nodded, turning to leave the room as fast as if could, trying to hide his disapointment.

"Harry" Snape said as the boy reached for the doorhandle but froze at the use of his first name, which sounded so strange when uttered by Snape.

"Sir?" Harry turned back around, the surprise clear on his face but Snape noticed the boy also seemed rather happy to be called by his first name..even if he'd said it by accident.

"I believe Quidditch trials are starting up once again?" Snape asked and Harry nodded. "Practices begin next weekend, correct?"

"Yeah, Wood said we need to get started as soon as possible to beat...er, slytherin" Harry bowed his head again, his talking had been encouraged by the use of his first name and he'd ended up saying something he hadn't intended to.

Snape almost smirked at those words though for the boy clearly hadn't meant to say them, but it also reminded him of when Lily kept insisting that Gryffindor was going to beat Slytherin at Quidditch, since James" head was so huge because of his ego that he could never miss the snitch. Plus most of the bludgers that Sirius hit were aimed at the Slytherin seeker...and he was a good beater.

"These sessions will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday from tonight onwards" Snape told him.

"Because of Quidditch?" Harry tried to guess.

"Is there a problem?" Snape asked. "I assume that you will not be able to concentrate on your studies if you're too exhausted from practice and your head will be cluttered with only that."

"So...this is for my wellbeing?" Harry couldn't help but ask, sensing that Hermione was once again right and that perhaps he did care about him after all.

"And my sanity" Snape added but gave a nod in confirmation to his thoughts.

"Thanks sir, those days are fine" Harry grinned and Snape almost smiled as well since the boy's eyes lit up as his mother's did when she was thrilled by something although Snape also felt something for the fact that the look was aimed at him because of his actions or words. A once-common occurance with Lily but never before with Harry; until now.

If James Potter had ever looked at Snape like that, he'd probably hex himself.

"If you have another nightmare..." Snape added as Harry once again braced himself to leave. "It was your desire to confide in me, yes?"

"Yes sir" Harry nodded, glancing at his feet now at the mention of the nightmare.

"Than if you wish, you may inform me of any other nightmares you have that keep you awake. I will not mind as much and it may help you to...confide in someone, about them" Snape said, cursing himself mentally for how stupid he sounded but he had to let the boy know and the more kinder things were less-practiced with him.

"I'll try, thanks sir" Harry smiled again and with that he was gone, rushing to the Gryffindor common room to boast to his friends about the fact that his newfound father did actually care for him. He'd taken his love for Quidditch into consideration, not forcing him to work around it and he wanted to know about his nightmares as they clearly bothered him.

Maybe the sour dungeon bat had a heart afterall?

Despite how things were looking a bit more promising between Snape and Harry, they interacted about the same way in the classrooms and if they happened to come across each other during school hours. Harry tried not to let the man's sour attitude and unfairness bother him as he sort of understood the need to ensure that the Slytherins and other students didn't get too suspicious, but there were times when it bothered him and he hated the relationship they had outside their study sessions.

It had only annoyed him previously but now it was really started to feel a lot worst than before and Harry wasn't so sure if he could endure the rest of the year like this.

But on the lighter side...Quidditch practices were back! Although Wood was as pressuring and over-working as usual, Harry felt greatful for the extra hours in which he spent in the air and forgetting about his troubles on the ground.

He was slightly nervous about their first match against Slytherin for if they won than Snape was sure not to be very thrilled and perhaps become more of a git, but Harry tried not to dwell too strongly on that aspect of it all. They had to win.

As Harry flew through the air to catch the golden snitch, Snape was prowling the dungeons corridors as though on the lookout for a rule-breaking first-year; he was annoyed yet cautious and just plain moody.

He had previously been pacing in his private quarters but a part of him wanted someone to yell at, although it was just a substitute for who he really wanted to yell at: Voldemort. Granted that he would get a merciless death if he actually yelled at the Dark Lord that he was supposed to be loyal to, but Snape thought of many things he'd have liked to tell him. It was his fault that Harry was orphaned but that wasn't what had Snape so riled up. It was the fact that Voldemort had killed Lily.

He'd been down this trail of thoughts before but now for a different but still equally selfish reason: he had no idea how to father the boy whilst Lily could have provided him with a grand amount of knowledge. She had always been so good with kids whereas Snape had been more of the kind to drown one...accidently, of course.

"Oh, good evening Professor Snape" A sixth year gave a brief wave as he passed by.

Snape barely snapped out of his thoughts long enough to nod in reply but then paused. He knew that boy, by reputation mostly, but his name was a little forgotten...no, wasn't it Bartimous?

"Wait a second" Snape said and the boy paused, looking interested but otherwise unbothered.

"Yes, sir?" He asked.

"What is your name?" Snape questioned, making sure he got it right before addressing him.

"Bartimous Fairway, sir" The boy answered rather proudly as he brushed some lgiht brown hair from his face, revealing deep blue eyes and a few freckles.

"I believe you are the eldest sibling of five?" Snape asked.

"Yeah" The boy nodded, now looking confused as it wasn't common that Snape questioned his students about how many simblings they had.

"I see" Snape said and pondered how to go about what he wanted to ask. He noticed the prefect badge pinned to the robes of the Slytherin boy and decided to go with a lie, hoping it would get back to the other members of his house.

"Your youngest brother is a second year, is he not?" Snape asked as casually as he could, years of spying had helped him with that.

"Yes sir, Jamie is in his second year" Bartimous replied. "Did he do something?"

"Not that I am aware of at the current time" Snape replied, trying to ignore the closeness of the name "Jamie" and withheld his sneer of disgust.

"Although if I could have a moment of your time...?" He glanced at his office and the boy nodded.

"What is it, sir?" Bartimous asked, looking as though he felt important and Snape decided to prey on that.

"I was merely curious for a piece of knowledge" Snape said and the boy's eyebrows went up and he tried to conceal a smirk. "As I have no children of my own and do not have the time nor patience to deal with crying brats..." Snape trailed off although he felt as though he was structuring a lie again. Harry wasn't really a crying brat and he was his son now, in a way.

"Understandable, sir" Bartimous nodded eagerly. "I'd be happy to answer any question you have. I'm at your service!"

"Yes" Snape eyed the boy for a moment, unsure if this was a good idea afterall. "I have a particular boy in one of my classes that has the rare potential to do well, but he is having difficulties at home, or so I have been told" Snape inwardly rolled his eyes, but there was no going back now.

"As your brother is of his age, perhaps you know of a more productive way in which to speak to such a child?" He asked.

"Well I could talk to him if you like, sir" Bartimous offered although he didn't look too keen.

"I prefer not" Snape narrowed his eyes, casting the teenager a intimidating stare.

"Oh well um...usually if my brother's going through something I just give him time to talk about it since i know he will, he trusts me you see" Bartimous smiled and continued to talk while Snape listened, occasionally bored but at the same time he was getting a small idea of what should and shouldn't be said to a twelve-year-old. For he may have taught a lot of second-year children over his years as a teacher...but he had never actually cared about them beyond being a mentor to a Slytherin or a skeptical teacher to others. Now he had a son, and it was time he tried to fall into his role as a father a bit more.

When Monday came around, Harry was feeling rather anxious but also a bit ill. At first he thought it was nerves or a cold from practicing Quidditch the day before in the rain, but as 7pm approached he wasn't so sure.

But nonetheless, Harry gathered his things and headed down to the dungeons, feeling the further chill of the place and shivered. He doubted that Snape would let him off for the night simply because he was prone to temperatures and felt a little dizzy, so Harry pressed on and took a deep, calming breath as he knocked on the door.

"Enter" Snape replied and glanced up as Harry came into the room and sat down. He noticed that the boy seemed to be avoiding looking at him and his "hello" sounded a bit forced, so maybe he had gone too far last session?

Snape frowned but after ten minutes, Harry appeared to be a bit disoriented and the professor wondered if he was tired again or if it was something else.

"Oops" Harry hissed as his quill slipped and ink spilled over his parchment.

"Silly child" Snape sighed but hadn't meant it to be an insult as he flicked his wand and cleaned up the mess while he approaching the desk.

"Are you ill?" He asked as Harry's face was a little flushed and he still refused to look up at him.

"I'm fine sir" Harry replied rather quickly. "It's nothing really" He added but winced slightly as something cold contacted with his forehead. Only then did he looked up to see that Snape had his hand on his forehead and frowned when he no doubt noticed how feverish he was.

"You are not fine" Snape growled, removing his hand and clutched the boy under his arms. "You are going straight to the hospital wing."

"But..." Harry went to protest but was lightly shoved towards the door and decided it was best not to argue for his head was starting to throb and his stomach felt cramped.

"Sir, I don't..." He went to say that he was indeed not feeling too good while his vision blurred, despite the fact that he was still wearing his glasses.

"Do not argue, Potter!" Snape snapped and reached for the boy but at that precise second, Harry stumbled and the man found himself catching the boy before he slammed his head against the stone wall or something else that would cause him further harm.

"Sorry" Harry mumbled and straightened up, eagerly making his way towards the hospital for he was determined to lay down now and his head was starting to really hurt. How could he have felt this rotten so quickly? A few minutes ago he'd been rather fine, but then again...it was a whole lot colder down in the dungeons.

"Why did you not go straight to the hospital wing the moment you felt unwell?" Snape scowled at the boy while watching him carefully from behind, making sure he wasn't going to fall again.

"I..." Harry sighed and rolled his eyes even though the man couldn't see his face. "I thought you would be mad, okay? You know? If I didn't show up."

"I assure you, Mr Potter, that I would prefer to miss a study session than have you being ill on my watch" Snape said and covered his surprise to Harry's words rather well.

"Oh" Harry said with a hint of something that Snape couldn't quite make out.

As they continued to walk, he thought back on what he'd said and wondered why Harry would be discouraged by it but then it clicked...the boy had no idea that he had really gone from his role as teacher to his new role as his father. And the way he had covered his real thoughts made it seem as though he was more concerned with their sessions or studying than the boy himself.

Snape was annoyed that he couldn't go about being the boy's father without showing some emotion or concern, to go against everything he had previously trained himself to do: be distant, uncaring and strictly professional. But being a father, he had to show the boy that he cared, he had to take into consideration the boy's happiness and feelings instead of just his safety.

"If you are feeling ill...I would prefer you to be resting than sitting at a desk and doing schoolwork" Snape said, noticing a small change in the boy's walking, as if he was slowing to listen more carefully and delaying the arrival to the hospital wing.

"Your wellbeing is of more importance" He added and the boy had stopped moving altogether so Snape reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder to steer him into the hospital wing which was just up ahead.

"You again, Potter?" Madam Promfry sighed as she spotted the boy, not taking any notice of the professor at all. "What did you do this time?"

"Not sure, I think it's a cold or something" Harry replied. "My head is killing me and I don't feel too good."

"Well lie down and I'll have a look at you" She said and led him over to a bed, transfiguring his clothes into pyjamas before running a dignostic spell.

"It's a nasty flu, by the looks of it" She said. "It's a good thing you came to be while you did. You're going to need plenty of fluids and rest!" Promfry said and left to fetch some potions while Snape stood nearby and watched the boy trying to sit up but Harry didn't seem to notice him. Perhaps he'd assumed that Snape would leave once he was in Promfry's care?

Snape continued to watch as the medi-witch fussed over the boy and once she was done he summoned Harry's things from the dungeons where he had left them to place them on the bedside table for Hermione or Ron to collect and return when they came to visit for they surely would.

"I haven't a clue how you came across him, but I'm glad you brought him in" Promfry finally paid attention to Snape as he placed the books and quill on the bedside table and Harry glanced at him curiously.

"He was studying with me" Snape replied, although he had no idea why he felt the need to add such information.

"I hope you weren't over-working him!" She scowled and he actually felt rather offended for a brief moment.

"Are you implying that I would allow a child to continue working whilst they are unwell?" He eyed her. "I brought him to you the moment I noticed that he was ill."

"Of course" She nodded, looking a bit surpried but brushed the topic off. 'Nevertheless, it's a relief that you did" Promfry glanced at Harry and headed back to her office again, leaving them alone for now.

Harry glanced around the ward but there were no other patients or really anyone apart from himself and Professor Snape.

"Thank-you, sir" He said.

"Your gratitude is unnecesssary" Snape replied and the boy lowered his gaze.

"But...you are welcome" He added and Harry glanced back up quickly.

"Our sessions have been post-poned until you are capable of taking them again. I shall inform you other teachers of your situation" He said. "I expect that you will not be attending classes or playing Quidditch until such time as well. You are to remain here and rest, understood?"

"Yes, sir" Harry sighed, leaning back against the pillows that had been placed behind his back.

"Well I'm a bit tired now, but thanks again sir" He said and lay down, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand.

Snape nodded and found himself feeling rather reluctant to leave, but surely he was being rediculous for Harry was being cared for now and needed rest anyway.

But still, he remained and watched the boy fall asleep before finally forcing himself to leave; strolling back down to the dungeons where he suddenly felt as though he'd done something wrong by leaving Harry in the care of another.

Harry was in the hospital wing for only a few days and his friends had come by quite often when they had free time. but no-one apart from Madam Promfry was aware that every night in which Harry was there, Snape came by to check on him around 10pm when he was sure that the boy was asleep and all his visitors were gone.

It was Friday afternoon when Harry was finally released from his bed and made his way back to the Gryffindor tower where his friends greeted him happily and made sure he was okay.

His session with Snape had been cut short on Monday, but he'd also missed his Wednesday session and Harry found himself wishing that he hadn't. He wondered if it was the study habits he was starting to pick up or if it was the man himself that was the reason for his disapointment. But he'd been so releived to find that he would be able to make it to his Friday session that night at 7pm per usual.

"I assume that you are feeling well?" Snape asked as Harry knocked on his door later and was let inside. although the professor wouldn't put it past the Gryffindor to have escaped the hospital wing before he was supposed to. Although he doubted that a study session with him was much of a good enough reason to.

"Yes sir" Harry nodded and flashed a relieved smile as he settled down at the desk and began his work, flashing back to the night before when he'd awoken due to a nightmare and could have sworn that he'd seen Snape leaving the hospital wing. But he decided to say nothing about it and continued to focus on his work.

Although he had woken up because of a nightmare and after completing several essays and all of his homework, he glanced up at Snape and bit his lip...pondering if he should mention it.

The professor had looked over at the same time and saw Harry biting his lip in a way that he recalled Lily doing on more than one occasion and instantly knew that something was bothering the boy.

But instead he decided to test how much work they needed to do in their little "arrangement" and see if the boy would say anything, so he glanced away and continued marking student's work for checking on Harry each night for a week had left him mildly behind on his own tasks.

And so the session neared an end and still Harry hadn't said anything, but he fidgeted more and kept glancing up. Still, Snape said nothing.

--

Harry sighed and found he that had no more tasks to complete so got to his feet and gathered his things. He looked over at Snape to see that he had left his desk and was approaching him.

He didn't know if it was because the dream had bothered him so much or if the fact that he kept thinking how Snape had wanted him to mention his nightmares...but either way, he bit his lip once more and decided to brave the situation and reach out to the man, even in the smallest of ways.

"Um...sir?" He asked and even his voice sounded nervous.

"Yes, Harry?" Snape asked, trying to encourage the boy to speak by using his first name as he'd noticed the reaction he'd recieved earlier when he'd let it slip.

"I...you said I could tell you if I had a nightmare?"

"That is correct" Snape nodded. "I assume that there is a reason for your lapse in memory?" He asked, mentally cursing himself for his usual harshness slipping out and aiming at the boy. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yes" Harry sighed, lowering his gaze. "Last night" He replied and decided to just get it over with for he hadn't been mocked last time but then again he hadn't so much of got anything from the man last time, even if it did reel rather good to talk to someone about it.

"Do you wish to discuss it?" Snape asked after the boy went quiet. He saw the slight nod and waved his wand, conjuring the table and chair into two armchairs and he sat down, hoping to encourage Harry to do the same.

Harry looked confused but sat on the opposite armchair and entwined his fingers nervously, almost as if he was ashamed of something

"I...well it was confusing and I can't really remember it too well..." He stumbled with his words but Snape remained quiet, giving the boy time to think and figure out how to explain it.

"I wasn't sure where I was at first, but it was some sort of old house and there were voices but I don't know who they were. I just hear them talking about how useless I was, and how they hated me" Harry slumped his shoulders slightly, looking a bit pained but now that he'd began he found himself unable to stop.

"I...I think they were my parents or something, for they called me "their boy" sometimes. I dunno, it's stupid but...they grew louder and soon the door opened but instead of lots of people it was my uncle. He doesn't like me much and I think he's scared of magic, so I wasn't surprised but then he started yelling...the usual stuff but, it still hurt."

"Does your uncle usually raise his voice to you?" Snape asked, arching an eyebrow and Harry seemed surprised as he looked up, as though he'd forgotten that Snape was even there.

"Well, not always, but I suppose. He's...not very nice" Harry sighed and blushed, looking away again as though he'd said too much.

"And what did your uncle say, in your nightmare?" Snape continued to ask, keeping his tone as calm as he could and decided to address the other issues later.

"Just...that I was a freak and that no one wanted me" Harry shrugged as though it was the most normal thing and Snape didn't like how calm Harry was about those words for it wasn't a very nice thing for an uncle to tell their nephew...dream or not.

"But then I was back at that house and I saw my mum dying again" He sniffed slightly and Snape barely noticed it.

"Sorry, I know you probably don't want to hear about my stupid dream but..." He then attempted to cover the emotions he was clearly feeling but Snape could see right through his tone, expression and posture.

"If I had no concern for such things, I would not be sitting here and enduring it" Snape replied. "You appear to be rather unsettled by this nightmare...more so than the last. Might I question why that is?"

"I don't know" Harry shrugged, looking honest. "I guess I just sometimes forget that no one wants me" He sighed, looking away again and was astonished to find that he could talk to Snape easily about some things once he'd started and realised that the man was actually listening. No adult had ever wanted to hear about such things from him before.

Snape studied the boy for a moment and frowned. "I doubt that your aunt and uncle do not wish to keep you. Would they have taken you into their care if they did not?" He asked.

"Aunt Petunia once said I had to stay there" Harry said. "That they had no choice."

Snape said nothing for it contradicted everything he'd believed about the boy being spoiled and loved just as any Potter would have been but he knew Petunia and she wasn't a fan of magic. But he'd thought that she'd have still cared for her nephew, for Lily's son...perhaps that wasn't the case.

That was the first time that Snape had looked at Harry...really looked at him. He was too skinny for a growing boy, a soon-to-be teenager, and he had stayed at Hogwarts during the Christmas break last year...in fact it had been during every break the previous year until he wasn't allowed to stay over the summer. Did his relatives truly care so little for him that he didn't want to be anywhere near them or felt as though they hated him? Surely that wasn't the case? The boy was exagerating...wasn't he?

Snape stared into Harry's emerald eyes as he looked up and saw the truth ridden in his sad look and defeated gaze...no, it was true. Harry had not only been neglected in the sense of not being fed enough or being well guilded but he was also lacking what every child should have...love, kindness and reassurance.

If he had a nightmare when he was young, who comforted him? If he had trouble with his homework, who did he ask for help from? Did he get a birthday party each year? Was he allowed to have friends sleepover? Did Harry get any part of a happy childhood that all children should have but some sadly did not...like Snape himself had not?

"Sir?" Harry asked as Snape was still hadn't said anything.

"Perhaps I misjudged you, Harry" Snape said, looking oddly uncomfortable and somewhat annoyed.

"I treated you unfairly in the past year for I was under the impression that you had been constantly spoiled and pampered at home...I am ashamed to admit that perhaps I was mistaken" He confessed and Harry looked as though Snape had grown an extra head and was turning purple for he eyes were wide and his jaw hung open slighty.

"They're not that bad" Harry finally found his voice.

"And yet they do not care for you as an adult guardian should for a child" Snape raised an eyebrow and suddenly found himself understanding why Harry needed a father so badly...but the boy required more than Snape felt he could give.

Snape did not like to be touched and he most certainly did not wish to be the one to enforce such coddling and comfort. But Harry needs it, a small voice said in his head that sounded suspiciously like Lily while he stared at the boy who was now looking rather confused as he stared back.

"It is late" Snape rose from his armchair, glancing at the time while doing so. "You require rest. We will discuss this further at another time."

"Yes sir" Harry nodded and eagerly gathered his things and headed for the door but paused and turned back, biting his lip once more.

"And um...thanks. For, you know? Listening...no one has...I mean, it helped. Thank-you."

Snape nodded and watched the door close as the boy left, feeling oddly comforted by the fact that he'd at least helped the boy in some way.

But he was getting a headache with all the new imformation and the realisation of what sort of life Harry really had and how much his life lacked just as Snape's own life had been...and in some way, still was.

Snape knew that there was no way that he could back out of his new role now for it would just make the boy think that yet another adult had failed him and that yet another person didn't want him.

Because in all honesty...Snape did want him, as a son. He wanted to make the boy smile, he wanted to give him the things that he lacked and he wanted so desperately to teach him that he did care. But Snape had no idea how to express those things...

Something had changed.

That was the first thing Harry thought of when he awoke the following day. He wasn't sure what exactly, but last night some sort of ground had been broken between himself and Snape, although he didn't know what to think of it.

The man had once fired insults at him and took points off Gryffindor for doing anything short of breathing...and yet he had taken his Quidditch into consideration along with his schoolwork, he had forced him to the hospital wing when he was unwell and he had listened to Harry as he'd described a nightmare that bothered him.

Harry thought that perhaps Snape had changed, but somehow he knew that it wasn't what was going on at all.

No, he was perhaps always like this but had never shown it before; that he could care and that he was more than just a sour dungeon bat without feelings. He was a person just like anyone else.

Although Harry felt a wash of sadness at that thought. Snape didn't really have a family did he? There had never been mail delivered to Snape that Harry had seen, apart from an odd parcel or letter occasionally. No presents at Christmas, no birthday gifts (although he had no idea when his brithday actually was and it could be during the summer) and no...nothing. Was he without anyone just as Harry was?

But instead of making his mood worst, that thought actually cheered him up because it meant that perhaps he could help Snape...give him something in return.

He had felt rather selfish asking Snape to be his father with all the tasks and concerns that the man would have to consider, but now if he was lonely as well than perhaps Harry could do something for him as a son should. But what? He didn't know when his birthday was and...wait a minute.

"Christmas" Harry realised as he checked his calender and saw that there was barely a few days until Christmas and that students would be leaving tomorrow to go home to their familes, decorated trees, gifts and warmth.

Ron had invited Harry over but their plans changed and the family were travelling for Christmas while Hermione was going to see her cousins.

Last Christmas had been his best ever for it had been just him and Ron, but this year...he would be alone.

Harry shook those thoughts away and tried to recall what Hermione had said the other day about owl-ordering things from Diagon Alley, but what could he get or Snape? He barely knew anything about the man other than the fact that he was brilliant at potions. Perhaps he could get him a nice book about something involving potion-making or rare ingredients? He would have to ask Hermione later.

But there was still a strong sense of something being different and Harry only hoped that it was something good for he was already becoming too hopeful and attached to his new fatherly relationship with Snape.

Despite the fact that they still had a long way to go...if it was taken from Harry even now, he felt that it would leave him feeling torn and desvestated. He would do anything to preserve it for he had a new father and he wasn't about to let him go.

--

After talking to Hermione, Harry made his way to the Great Hall with his two best friends and they seated themselves for breakfast.

His gaze moved from his plate and over towards the staff table where he spotted Snape -his father- talking about something with McGonagall who looked as though she was preparing to leave the table.

And soon enough she made her way along the Gryffindor table to speak with various students and he first thought that she was confirming who was staying over the holidays, but was worried as some students groaned and others looked confused.

"Mr Potter" She reached him. "You also elected to remain over the Christmas holidays?"

"Yes, professor" Harry nodded, dreading something that would prevent that wish.

"I am afraid that it will not be possible for Hogwarts will be closed over this Christmas break" She said, looking sympathetic.

"What?" Harry couldn't help but wince. If he was to return to the Dursleys for Christmas...his life would be nothing short of a living hell.

"But...can't I stay? I won't get in the way and I'll stay in my dormitory!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Mr Potter, but there will be no staff here during the holidays so that is not an option. If you have made plans already it would be advisable if you inform your family that you are coming home for the holidays or else find another place to stay" She said and walked away to inform the others.

"That sucks, mate" Ron said as Harry slumped in pure disapointment and misery...until a thought occured to him in his most desperate moment to avoid the Dursleys: she had said "Or else gind another place to stay", hadn't she?

"Harry?" Hermione called out as he got to his feet suddenly and strolled out of the Great Hall like a knight preparing to slay a dragon.

--

He made his way back to the common room and than proceeded to his dormitory which he knew would be empty and paced back and forth until he could force himself to come to a decision.

Should he just endure the horrible Dursleys and live with it for it would only be about a week or two or should he take the biggest risk he could ever consider and ask Snape if he could stay with him?

 He felt that it would be pushing the boundaries quite far and could also ruin everything that they were slowly building, but the idea of going back to the Dursleys...Harry would rather rot chained to a dungeon wall than that.

But what if he did ask? What if Snape turned him down? Would he be angry, would he insult the boy for such a question and would he even want Harry anywhere near him especially during the holidays.

And surprisingly, the one thing that Harry felt most nervous about was: what if he accepted?

Snape left the Great Hall not long after and made his way down to the dungeons as he usually did.

He was rather looking forward to spending almost two weeks away from the castle and to indulge in his peace and quiet. There would be no students to supervise, no work to mark and no lessons to endure. Although he had been rather surprised when Albus had told the staff the night before that Hogwarts would be closing for the holidays for he could not recall that ever happening whilst he was a teacher or student within the castle. What was the old man up to now?

But Snape had no chance to ponder that as he rounded a corner near his office and came a to startled halt for Harry was standing outside the door to his office, staring at his feet with a very anxious expression.

"Mr Potter?" He barked, making the boy jump and stare at him.

"Exactly what are you doing down here stalking about my office?" Snape asked while raising an eyebrow that clearly indicated his level of suspicion.

"I..." Harry didn't seem to remember how to speak for a moment but quickly gathered himself. "Could I have a word with you, sir? It's rather important."

"Very well" Snape replied and entered his office, allowing Harry a moment to follow behind him and shut the door before they both took a seat on opposite sides of the desk.

"Professor McGonagall said that Hogwarts would close for the Christmas holidays" Harry said, avoiding Snape's gaze as though he was in trouble.

"And um, my friends are all going someplace else for the time and I...I don't want to go back to the Dursleys, sir" He glanced up but looked away again before Snape could catch the expression in his eyes.

Snape felt as though a ghost had flown through him for he seemed to fear where this conversation was going but the strongest possibility was rather difficult to ignore. Surely the boy wasn't going to ask...not this soon and why would he?

"I know it's unfair to ask you and I could be ruining everything...but..." Harry struggled for words and Snape remained quiet, hurridly trying to think of a way around such a situation.

"Would it be okay if I stay with you?" Harry braved glancing up and stared right into Snape's eyes with Lily's green ones, making the man curse profoundly in his mind.

"You are requesting to intrude on my holiday simply because you do not wish to return to your family?" Snape asked, not being able to say anything else but was rather surprised to see a look of hurt on the boy's face.

Harry bit his lip but refused to give in just yet, he had to try everything...he just had to.

"They are not my family, sir. They hate me. I know you probabably don't believe me, no one does...but it's true" Harry frowned slightly although Snape could see his bravery slipping.

"If I go back they'll think I'm trying to ruin their Christmas and...I don't know how they would react."

"So instead you wish to ruin my Christmas?" Snape hissed but caught himself from saying more for now there was a teary look in the boy's eyes...and he really hadn't meant to be so harsh but he was unsure of what to say.

"You're right, I'm sorry..." Harry bowed his head but made no move to leave. "I just thought that..."

"Go on" Snape encouraged, trying to soften in tone but it was rather difficult.

"That you're my father now and...I don't know, I just hoped...after last night and all..." Harry stumbled over his words and Snape felt a pang of strong guilt for it had been his old habits that bit at the boy.

He never did anything during the holidays really and certainly didn't like celebrating Christmas...so what was holding him back? Was it the fact that inviting the boy to stay with him during a family time of year scared him? It basically sealed their new relationship and as much as he wanted that, it as still new to him.

But as he stared down at the sniffling boy he came to see that Harry was exactly that: a boy. He wasn't a teenaged Potter that wanted to torment him to insanity, he wasn't a grown man in need of nothing from a parental figure and he certainly wasn't an over-spoiled brat that had enough already. What did the boy have?

"I cannot possibly imagine why you wish to spent nearly two weeks in my home during the Christmas holidays, Harry" Snape said and the boy glanced up to show sad but otherwise dry eyes filled with hope and confusion brought on by the useage of his first name.

"However..." Snape sighed. "As I would consider it an interesting test to our new...arangement, than I do believe that I could tolerate your presence during the holidays."

"Really?" Harry could't help but grin. "I can come and stay with you? I won't have to go back to the Dursleys yet?"

"Have I not already made myself clear?" Snape asked. "Yes, Mr Potter. You are to pack your things and be ready for departure outside my office at 10:30am sharp tomorrow morning. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir!" Harry jumped up. "Thanks!"

"I also expect you to be on your best behaviour during your stay" Snape narrowed his eyes and the boy nodded eagerly. He was rather surprised that Harry seemed so thrilled with the idea of staying with him and a part of Snape lached on to that.

"I must warn you that I do not indulge in silly Christmas activities" He added. "If you wish to decorate a tree I could perhaps allow it, but that will be all."

"That's okay" Harry said as he was used to less anyway. "Thanks, sir...thank-you!" He grinned again and felt rather stupid but he couldn't help it. His father was letting him stay for Christmas!

"You are dismissed" Snape said while pinching the bridge of his nose.

Harry nodded and left the office, only catching Snape's "10:30am sharp" reminder before he walked around the corner and rushed up the stairs, taking two at a time for he could not recall feeling this happy about something.

It wasn't like the excitement of attending Hogwarts for the first time or feeling the thrill of riding a broom...it was a special feeling that he suspected was related to family for he had never felt it before, not that he could remember anyway.

--

"There you are!" Ron said as he spotted his friend entering the common room some several minutes later.

"Where did you go?" Hermione approached as well, looking worried but spotted his grin. "What happened?"

"I don't have to go back to the Dursleys yet" Harry grinned.

"But...Hogwarts will be closed" Hermione frowned. "Where will you go?"

Harry glanced around the common room where various other Gryffindors were seated or standing in groups. He gestured for his friends to follow him up to the dormitory and after checking that it was empty apart from them, he proceeded to tell them the news, unable to keep the joy out of his expression and tone.

Had he known last year that he would be excited about spending two weeks with Snape, he'd have had himself commited.

And so 10:30am sharp the following morning, Harry was right on time...much to Snape's annoyance. The boy was often late for classes but when the holidays came around he was typically on time and prepared. His grin had faded slightly and the boy now looked rather nervous, which calmed Snape down for he too was rather anxious and wondered when he began to bend to Harry's requests so quickly or easily. It was those eyes; he told himself...if Harry hadn't of inherited Lily's eyes than Snape's life would be much simpler.

"I presume you have packed everything that you require?" He questioned as he opened the door to his private study and allowed the boy entrance.

"Yes sir" Harry nodded as he pulled his trunk into the room and looked around, seeing the mixture of browns, silvers and blacks. There was also a fireplace, large sofa and a long wall of bookcases.

"We will be travelling by floo" Snape informed him and waved his wand to shrink Harry's trunk so that it could be fit in his pocket for better travel and comfort.

He didn't bother to ask if Harry had traveled that way before or not and just simply held out a jar of powder to the boy, relieved when he seemed to know what to do.

"Spinner's End" Snape informed him of the location when the boy looked at him questionably.

"This fireplace connects directly to my home" He added and watched Harry stepped into the fireplace and soon vanished. Snape rolled his eyes skyward, muttered a few things and then followed after the boy.

Harry was staring around at the many piles of books in the sitting room when Snape came through and placed a hand on his shoulder to direct him upstairs for he felt rather uncomfortable to have the boy in his home. The previous night he had returned home to fix the place up a bit (remove dust and restock the supplies etc) and prepare a room for Harry, which he was now thankful that he had done so.

"You will be staying in this room" Snape said as he released Harry's shoulder and watched as the boy stepped into the relatively small but still spacious room that had a single bed with skarlet sheets, a bedside table with a small cupboard, an oak wardrobe, a set of drawers, a desk and chair as well as a window although the light blue drapes were drawn closed to conceal it.

"It's nice" Harry smiled. "Thanks."

Snape arched an eyebrow, wondering what was to be so greatful about...surely the boy hadn't thought that he was going to have him sleep on the sitting room floor or something else just as ridiculous? But instead of speaking, Snape pulled out Harry's trunk and re-sized it so that the boy could unpack.

"Lunch will be in an hour" Snape said and with a swish of his cloaks, he left the room and Harry behind as he went downstairs to gather his thoughts.

Harry stared at the now-empty doorway for a moment before he proceeded to unpack his things like he presumed Snape wanted him to do.

After placing his clothes in either the wardrobe or the drawers, he sat on his new but temporary bed and just stared at the floor. It certainly had an air of awkwardness from the moment he had stepped through the floo up until now, but Harry was determined to break that for this could end up being a realyl great holiday. But then again, it could still end up being a complete disaster.

He had no clock in his room, but decided to make his way downstairs anyway and as he reached the bottom step he noticed the television sitting in the corner and a electric lamp was switched on. It seemed that Snape lived in a muggle lifestyle at home. But he was in Slytherin, didn't that mean that he was a pureblood?

"Sir?" Harry questioned as he sat down at a small, round table across from Snape once two plates of sandwiches had been placed in front of them.

"Are you a muggle-born?" He asked a little shyly.

Snape raised an eyebrow at the boy's question but followed the boy's gaze towards the television and understood his confusion.

"My father was a muggle" He answered. "My mother was a witch. Therefore, naturally I am a half-blood."

"Oh" Harry nodded, biting into his sandwhich but couldn't think of anything else to say so they just sat there in silence until the plates were bare.

Snape returned the plates to the kitchen as well as their juice glasses with a swish of his wand and set a stern stare on Harry.

"You may be staying here for the holidays, Mr Potter" Snape said. "But my house is not a playground, therefore there will be rules that I expect you to follow. I understand that you have had previous difficulty with that concept, but please reframe from showing your Gryffindor arrogance in my presence for the duration of your stay" He said.

"Proper manners and conduct need apply. This shall include no running indoors, no childish back-chat and do not show up for meals in your sleeping attire" He said, unsure of how the boy was at home but he knew what he did not want to put up with.

Ignoring Harry's eyerolling, he continued. "Breakfast begins at 7:00am sharp, lunch proceeds at a varied time, usually just before midday. Dinner will be at 7:15pm sharp and I expect you to be in bed by 10:00pm" Snape told him with a firm nod.

"Yes sir" Harry said, a bit surprised that he was actually being given a bedtime of some sort along with the rules.

"During the day you may entertain yourself as you please under the conditions that you do not desturb me and do not leave this house, understood?" Snape asked and Harry nodded. "Do you have any questions?"

"Um, where is the Christmas tree and the decorations?" Harry wondered curiously and Snape had to prevent himself from rolling his eyes.

"I shall have them brought up tomorrow" Snape replied and Harry nodded, slumping back in his seat as though he was confused as to what he was supposed to do now.

"Um, sir? Does the...well does your television work?" Harry asked.

Snape decided that he had to learn to anticipate more for the boy kept surprising him on numerous occasions and it was starting to bother him profoundly.

"I belive so" He nodded.

"May I watch it?" Harry asked, looking a bit unsure.

"I mean, I wasn't allowed to watch it at the Dursleys so if you don't mind..." He trailed off.

Snape nodded and watched the boy search for the remote before settling himself into an armchair. It felt strange for that television was something he had been meaning to get rid of and he also didn't know that it would still work since it hadn't been turned on in over ten years.

But as he watched Harry sitting there and staring at the muggle box in amusement, he decided it was probably a good thing that he still had it and made his way down to his private potions lab to leave the boy in peace.

--

Dinner passed by without much discussion but neither seemed to mind and just settled to eat in silence.

Afterwards Harry showered and climbed into his surprisingly comfortable bed to complete his owl-orders for the gifts he had picked out from the catalogue that Hermione had given him.

He lay back on his pillow and stared up at the darkened ceiling in wonder for what the next few days would bring but so far he was enjoying himself. It wasn't as grand as Hogwarts would have been but as long as it was nothing like the Dursley's household, than he was happy.

Tomorrow was the day before Christmas Eve and surely things would liven up a little more, but Harry really didn't mind for he felt content with things so far and enjoyed staying at Snape's house. And who knows, he may even get to know the man a bit better.

Either way, it was sure to be an interesting Christmas for Harry and Snape this year...

The next morning dawned faster than Harry had thought possible and before he could blink twice he had finished breakfast and stood before a crooked tree and an aged box of decorations.

Snape observed from the background, waving his wand to turn the faded, stringless ornaments into sparkling, freshly-painted festive decorations that were everything a Christmas ornament should be. Although they were much more magical styled with the angel's wings flapping occasionally and the reindeers did loops around the tree.

Harry enjoyed himself while being able to decorate a Christmas tree for the first time in his life (not that he told Snape that) without having to just watch Dudley attempt it and than break all of the pretty ornaments. The closest he'd ever come to this experience was when Harry had attached torn tinsle to a large pinecone at the age of four.

Snape on the other hand, could not understand what could possibly be so enjoyable about attaching silly objects to an indoor tree each year. He watched as Harry hummed to himself when he stepped back to admire his work and felt that at least the boy was enjoying himself. Which he was relieved for because it had taken him hours the previous night to find that box of decorations and the tree, since they had been stashed away from sight and touch before Snape had even reached the age of ten.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked, turning to look at Snape who had to cover his expression of annoyance to appear only relatively uninterested.

"I do believe that this particular tree has yet to be so decorated" Snape nodded and Harry took this as a huge compliment.

"Harry..." Snape reached out to the boy and pulled a piece of tinsle from the boy's untamed hair.

"I was under the impression that the tree was to be decorated instead of yourself" He smirked slightly and Harry blushed as the man ran a hand through his hair to remove further glittering pieces from the decorations.

"Yeah, sorry" Harry concealed a smile while ignoring the nagging part of his brain that told him how shocked he should be to discover that Snape actually had a sense of humour. Most of the Gryffindors had thought that it had only been a myth.

The rest of the day passed by rather peacefully with Snape keeping to himself and Harry lazing on an armchair to watch television as though it was the most amazing thing in the world; even though he knew that he would get bored of it soon enough.

Nothing really eventful happened until later that night around 11:30pm when Snape was pulled from his slumber by an unfamilar sound.

Reaching for his wand, Snape got out of bed and quickly transfigured his pyjamas into robes as he left his bedroom and kept his ears alert for the location of the odd sound. It seemed to be coming from Harry's room so he walked down the hall and used his hand to carefully push open the door in order to check on the boy who should be asleep by now.

And he was, but Harry's forehead was sweaty and his hands clawed at his sheets while he whimpered and frowned; it didn't take a genius to understand that the boy was having a terrible nightmare.

Snape stared at Harry as he slowly approached the bed and was unsure of what he should do. Surely it was to be one of those nightmares that bothered the boy for days afterwards and he appeared to be very desturbed by it, even now.

Deciding to not let the boy suffer, Snape placed his wand on the bedside table and crouched over the boy until he could see his face clearer. Even with him asleep, it made Snape quite sad himself to see the tears that the boy was subconciously shedding and the look of distant fear on his face. He was twelve years old and yet in such a state of fear and misery...the boy looked much younger.

"Harry?" Snape tried to wake him by shaking his shoulder lightly but he didn't respond until Snape had seated himself on the bed and brushed some hair from Harry's face before trying again.

"Please don't sent me away!" Harry sobbed, jerking upright even though it didn't seem as though he had completely woken from his nightmare and his eyes were still squeezed tightly shut.

"What reason would I have for sending you away?" Snape asked, not sure how to handle the situation, if Harry was even aware of what he was saying or if it had just been a nightmare.

"Uncle Vernon wanted to send me away" Harry sniffed, his face bowed as another tear slid down his cheek.

"Said I was a stupid freak that no one wants" The boy mumbled again and Snape wasn't sure what it was exactly but something inside himself crumbled and a wave of sadness as well as protectiveness washed over him.

"Would you ever send me away?" Harry glanced at Snape, his eyes opening for the first time but in the darkness Snape was unable to make out the likliness that they had to Lily's and all he saw were two orbs of uncertaincy as Harry stared at him...wondering if he too did not want him.

"Hush child; it was merely a nightmare" Snape said, placing a hand on the boy's head as he sniffled again but it didn't seem to help him at all and he just couldn't bear to see Harry so sad and broken.

Where was the brave Gryffindor who had stood up to Voldemort alone last year? The same boy that was constantly laughing amongst his friends and who played Quidditch with such determination? It surprised Snape how easily the boy's misery pained him as well and he wanted nothing more than to take it away.

"Harry...I would never send you away" Snape said, allowing Harry to move closer and bury his face on his chest while he kept a soothing hand behind the boy's head.

He sniffled a little more and then it became a sob. Snape feared that he had done something wrong but after a moment it decreased and Harry went rather quiet. It occured to Snape that the boy must have fallen back to sleep but he did not move for it was comfortable and...warm. He could not remember ever feeling the warmth that seemed to swell inside of him as the boy rested his head against his chest and Snape still had his hand on the back of the boy's head.

After another moment, he lay the child carefully onto the pillow again and lit his wand in attempt to catch a glimpse of the boy without those dreaded glasses and found that Harry did look quite a bit more alike his mother. But it pleased Snape to see that he was neither his father nor his mother without the glasses and he was simply...Harry.

Snape stood and left the room seconds later. He returned to his bedroom and transfigured his robes back into pyjamas before laying down to rest in his own bed, pondering what he had felt when he'd seen the boy cry and how strange it was to comfort someone.

He doubted that Harry would remember this the following morning and part of Snape hoped that would be the case, but at least now he understood what the boy needed and had an idea on how to give it to him, sort of. Severus Snape was no expert on coddling children, but he now knew what actions mattered and what were just simply pointless and embarrasing. Actually he felt as though it was all embarrassing, but for once in a very long time; he didn't care about his pride.

All because a young boy needed a real father...Harry needed him, and now that was more important than anything else.

Harry's mind was a bit foggy as he awoke the following morning because he had a vauge memory of having a nightmare and feeling warm all over when he'd been pulled out of it...almost as if he'd been wrapped in a blanket of comfort. But how? Surely Snape hadn't been woken by his nightmare and come to comfort him? But there was no one else in the house besides them...

Harry climbed out of bed and dressed in a pair of faded pants and a loose t-shirt before making his way downstairs where Snape was already awake and had just placed their breakfast on the table.

"Morning" He yawned as he slumped into the nearest chair and ran a hand through his hair.

"Good Morning, Harry" Snape replied, frowning at how odd those words sounded coming from his mouth but brushed it off as he joined the obviously tired boy at the table.

Harry picked at his eggs for a moment and then cast an uncertain glance at Snape, who was pouring himself some tea and pretended not to notice the look that he was recieving.

"Did I have a nightmare last night?" Harry decided to ask.

"I believe you did" Snape nodded before sipping his drink but his eyes remained fixated on Harry.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I woke you" Harry said, looking quite embarrassed. "I don't usually wake people."

"You speak as though these nightmares occur often" Snape said, his eyebrows narrowing tightly together as he forced himself to express his concern rather than hiding it away.

"Not really, but sometimes..." Harry shrugged, having missed the look when he glanced away. "I have them more often lately though."

Snape said nothing and just glanced down at the Daily Prophet that was sitting atop the table in front of him and castually read over a report on a desturbance in a muggle neighbourhood, but it was nowhere nearby so he wasn't too interested; plus it did not appear to be the work of Death Eaters. The papers will publish anything these days.

Harry finished his breakfast without another word and took his plate to the sink before settling himself in front of the television again. But the fact that it was Christmas Eve seemed to have slipped from his mind as he thought back to the previous night.

He was so sure that Snape had come into his room when he'd had that horrible nightmare and comforted him, but surely that could not be the case? He had been warm, soft and had made Harry feel safe...everything that he'd wanted from a parent but figured to be less important. It was like a drug and now that he'd experienced it he wanted more. But last night was a once-occuring thing, right? If Harry approached Snape and even had to nerve to ask for any physical comfort than the man was more likely to scowl at him, wasn't he? Harry was confused now as he stared at the television screen but he wasn't really absorbing the images or sounds that came from it.

Snape had remained at the table and watched the boy curiously. He wanted to question him about the nightmare but decided that now wasn't the right time; but then when was?

The television was going but it showed an old-fashioned movie that Snape wasn't so sure that Harry actually noticed, for he would have changed it to the cartoons he sought out during the times that the television had been on since his arrival. He could tell that Harry had other things on his mind but was unsure if he should say anything or just let the boy be.

Snape knew that walking away and giving Harry space would be the easier thing to do and perhaps he needed it but the topic had to be discussed, so perhaps it was best to do that whilst it was still fresh?

"Harry?" Snape got up from the table and noticed how his tone seemed to have startled the boy.

"Yes, sir?" Harry turned around to look at him in surprise while switching the television off.

"I believe that we still have certain matters that require discussing" Snape said.

"After awaking from your nightmare you appeared to be under the impression that you would be sent away?"

So Snape had been in the room last night? Harry frowned but sighed, lowering his gaze and blushed a little as he nodded.

"I only remember that my uncle had threatened to send me away a few years ago. I guess my nightmare fed on that" He shrugged and looked up again. "I am really sorry for waking you."

"I did not request an apology; instead I would prefer an explanation" Snape said, crossing his arms as he looked down at the over-apologising child.

"What obnoxious form of logic caused your uncle to issue such a threat towards his nephew? Exactly how old were you at the time?" He asked as he fought to keep his tone calm for it was unsettling to hear that it wasn't a dream, but an actual memory.

"Erm...I was five" Harry mumbled. "And I...I don't remember" He lied lamely and looked away again.

"It may have escaped your notice, Mr Potter, but I am well aware of when one is being less than truthful when answering my questions" Snape scowled.

"Sorry, I just...it's stupid and embarrassing, alright?" Harry frowned and refused to look at the man that was towering over him.

"Than it should also be insignificant" Snape replied, testing his patience as he tried to get the boy to talk to him, which was something he'd elected to do but yet Harry still did not want to.

"What could even you have done at the mere age of five that would warrant threatening to send you away?"

"No" Harry said and got up from the armchair, strolling past Snape and into the kitchen. "I just don't want to talk about it!"

"Potter!" Snape snarled and turned to glare at him but Harry just looked up and then ran out of the room and up the stairs. The sound of a slamming bedroom door soon followed.

Snape paced the room and pocketed his wand to prevent himself from hexing a wall or preferably a breakable piece of furniture. He couldn't understand what he'd done wrong and why the boy had such a nerve to storm out on him like a fifteen-year-old being denied their broomstick.

Still angry, Snape made his way up the stairs as he was certainly not going to spent Christmas Eve with Potter upstairs avoiding him over a memory that had taken place over six years ago. Nor was he going to tolerate such rude behaviour!

But as he reached for the doorhandle, Snape heard the muffled sounds of crying and felt guilty although he knew that he had no real reason to feel it. He had tried talking to the boy and yet Harry had over-reacted...then why did Snape feel ashamed?

"Harry?" Snape opened the door and took a glance at the boy to saw him sitting on the edge of his bed with his head bowed. He was brushing tears away now but had stopped crying when Snape entered the room.

"It was not my intention to upset you" He added, his tone losing its anger and frustration that he'd felt just moments earlier.

"I know" Harry mumbled, sniffling slightly as the man approached. "But that was one of the worst moments of my life" He admitted with a heavy sigh.

"It was then that I realised...that the only people to ever care about me were dead" Harry said in a defeated tone, one that sounded too mature or anguished for a child of his young age.

Snape flinched slightly at those words but remained as calm as he could; if not for his sake than for Harry's.

"You are yet to inform me of the reasoning behind such a threat from your uncle" Snape pressed.

"I believe that you wished to confine in me as your...father, and yet you once again decline the oppurtunity to do so?"

"I..." Harry rolled his eyes before continuing. "I asked him if they loved me, okay?" He growled in admittance and went to expand on his words while Snape tried to understand how that could possibly be a reason to send a child of five-years-old away.

"They got really mad, especially my uncle. Saying how I was ungreatful and a freak...how no one could love me and if I suggest such a thing again than they should send me away" Harry shrugged, still staring at the floor as though he was talking to it and not to the man standing before him.

"Your muggle uncle is an idiot" Snape said and his unintentionally spoken aloud words caused Harry to glance at him in surprise and amusement.

"No wonder you are so poorly raised if you have been placed into the care of such an incompetent guardian" He added in a much calmer tone.

"But it's true" Harry sighed. "I mean, that my parents are the only ones to really care about me and they're dead" He said and was confused as for a fraction of a second...Snape looked as though he'd offended him or even upset him.

Snape glanced away and bit back a frown at the boy's words for surely he could see that he cared for his wellbeing as well? Even though Snape had barely admitted to himself how deeply he was starting to care for the child, surely Harry had noticed it being the reason for various of his actions recently? Perhaps not.

"I request that you speak with me when you awake from a nightmare, Potter" Snape said, his tone lacking its usual bite. "Regardless" He added and frowned deeply as though he was about to punish a rule-breaker and thief. "And if you ever imply that I do not care for you, Potter...then I will have you scrubbing cauldrons for a month" He scowled.

"I would take no pleasure in being awoken in the middle of the night, nor spending hours in your miserable company if it were simply to fulfill this position that you have bestowed upon me" Snape finished.

"You...do care about me?" Harry almost gasped.

"I assumed that I had already made that fact clear" Snape did roll his eyes this time.

"I am certain that others care for you as well, such as your friends and other members of the staff that you have wrapped around your finger" He added. "Do not question that again, understood?"

"You care about me" Harry whispered as though that was the only part he'd heard.

"But...why?" He glanced up and Snape wanted to bang his head against a brick wall for the boy was being so dense.

"I am yet to find a cause for such an enigma" Snape replied instead and turned to leave the room to finally give him some space. It would also provide him with a moment to preserve his sanity before Potter took any more of it away.

"Um...sir?" Harry sounded nervous so Snape paused and turned to look at him but his gaze was met with a mop of hair as Harry stared at the floor again. "Last night...you, well you, erm...comforted me, didn't you?"

"I am forced to comfirm that I did indeed offer you comfort after you had awoken from your unsettling nightmare" Snape said, his tone quieter than usual as he wondered where this was going.

"Thanks" Harry mumbled.

"It was...nice. I mean, it helped a lot and I...I don't think I remember an adult ever hugging me before. Hermione hugged me once, but I...." He trailed off and seemed incapable of saying much more than: "It really made me feel better."

Snape stared at Harry for a moment with a mixture of his own feelings and decided to admit something that he hadn't been fully aware of until he'd said it.

"Had I previously been aware of the possitive effect of enacting such a physical form of comfort towards you...perhaps the previous night would not have been the first time" Snape said and Harry glanced up, shocked once again but this time speechless.

"Do not assume incorrectly, Harry. I am above such form of contact...however since you seemed to be profoundly lacking it than I do believe I could tolerate it further...in aid to your wellbeing."

"You...would?" Harry asked and bit his lip while looking away nervously again.

"So if I...felt bad or something, you'd...well you'd, you know?" He winced at his hopeful tone.

"Within circumstance, yes" Snape nodded and approached the boy, placing a hand on his shoulder tenderly. "I do not wish for you to suffer, Harry."

Harry couldn't take the emotions running through his mind and body anymore as no one had ever said such kind or caring words towards him before and the fact that they'd just come from his proud, stubborn but still new father...it overwhelmed him.

Snape was taken aback as Harry started crying again although he quickly realised that it wasn't because he was pained but instead it was quite the opposite.

He had intended to comfort the boy again but Harry beat him to it as he wrapped his arms around Snape the clung to him; sobbing against him as he had the previous night. Snape felt awkward but patted Harry's back with one hand whilst placing his other hand against the back of the boy's head as he cried against him.

After their soulful moment, they had talked a little more and then parted, not seeing the other until lunch. That was when Snape decided to keep the boy busy and suggested that he assist him with some potions he "had" to have done before dinner. Admittingly the boy's skills in the area were not desirable so Snape merely had him passing ingredients that he requested or allowed the boy to stir the cauldron at certain moments or to check that the temperature was right.

By dinner, all of the potions had been brewed and stored so the pair headed back upstairs and each changed to prepare a feast for dinner, in which Harry had requested to help with. Snape was actually rather surprised how well the boy could cook and yet he wasn't brilliant at potions? How did that one work out?

They ate their dinner whilst engaging in casual talk about things that they probably wouldn't even remember by morning.

Afterwards Harry insisted on switching on the lights that were wrapped around the Christmas tree and after arguing that they were pointless if they didn't, Snape agreed and flicked his wand to make the lights glow. That led to the pair sitting on opposite armchairs with a magically conjured fireplace nearby, enchanted with non-burning flames. Snape had summoned some hot chocolate and by that point it was starting to get late although Harry seemed to be really enjoying himself.

"I think I'll..." Harry started to say as it neared 10pm but his words were cut off by a yawn escaping his mouth.

"I am forced to agree" Snape nodded with barely an ounce of disapointment but it was still there.

"Goodnight da--erm, sir" Harry mumbled sleepily and made his way upstairs.

"If I get up early, could I wake you...I mean, since it'll Christmas and all?" He then turned to ask, having heard about kids waking their parents up too early on such a day and longed to experience it for himself.

Snape eyed him with a distasteful frown but sighed and nodded. "If you wish" He replied, finding it unlikely that the boy would awake before him anyway.

"Sleep well, Harry" He added as the boy continued on his way to his bedroom.

Snape turned back to glance at his colourful sitting room and rolled his eyes. He swished his wand and the flames vanished alongside the fancy fireplace and the Christmas tree lights faded. He was tempted to be rid of the entire tree for it felt as though he was being mocked by it, but left it for Harry wouldn't be happy to find it gone on Christmas morning.

With another sigh, Snape tucked his wand away and headed upstairs for he longed to just sleep and hoped that he would awake before Harry. He was displeased to realise how easily the boy got what he wanted from him and whilst it made him feel warm at times...Snape knew that he had to instill some boundaries before he lost all authority he had over the boy.

Either way, Snape was actually glad that Harry was here with him this Christmas and began to wonder how dark and lonely the previous ones had really been.

Now it was almost like...well, it was almost like he had a family.

Perhaps it was the new surroundings or the anticipation of having an actual Christmas this year...but either way, Harry awoke on Christmas morning to find that there was barely any light coming into his window although it was clearly daybreak

Harry stretched and yawned before remembering that it was Christmas morning and forgot to even change out of his pyjamas before he rushed from the room, tip-toed past Snape's bedroom and made his way into the sitting room.

The tree stood as it did the night before, apart from the now-faded lights but underneath...was something different. There were brightly wrapped gifts of various sizes, all looking so tempting and wonderous to Harry but he couldn't quite grasp that they could be for him. Surely Snape didn't receive many gifts from friends or family? But then again, who did Harry have apart from Ron and Hermione?

Deciding to ponder those thoughts later, Harry glanced around in search of his new father but to his surprise, he reached the conclusion that he had indeed awoken before the man had himself.

It was so surreal to Harry as he finally had the Christmas he'd only heard of: waking up really early to find a stack of presents under the decorated tree and then having to wake his parent up in order to open them. He wasn't sure if that rule actually applied here, but he felt the desire to further experience his new position as a son and quietly made his way upstairs.

It wasn't until he'd reached for the doorknob did Harry reconsider. Hadn't Snape agreed last night that he could wake him if Harry was up before he was? But what if it was indeed too early or if he'd changed his mind? Was he overstepping things once again? Just as he had when he'd asked to stay here over the holidays? What if waking him would cause Snape to think that he was as annoying as he'd previously thought and wanted him out? Would he be sent back to the Dursleys? Surely Snape wasn't mean enough to do that on Christmas Day? But Harry didn't want to risk it.

However, despite his mind pleading him to turn back and just wait for the man to get up...he couldn't gather the strength to remove his hand from the knob or to walk away. A small part of his imagination sparked with the image of the tree downstairs and he daydreamed about jumping on his parent's bed to wake them as he would have done if Voldemort hadn't taken them from him. Snape was his father now and against all fears, Harry felt as though he should take the chance to feel as though he was actually a son who had a real family...besides, the man had admitted that he cared somewhat about him.

That was a good enough motivation for Harry and he turned the knob slowly before enabling himself to swallow a gulp of air and peak into the room.

Perhaps he should have knocked, for Snape was out of bed and standing nearby waving his wand over his cloak although he wasn't wearing it yet. Instead he was dressed in his usual black attire although without the vest and his feet had only socks on instead of his shoes as well.

"Oh, sorry!" Harry winced and now wished that he'd remained downstairs to wait.

"You just said I could...you know? Wake you if I got up first and you weren't up so I..." He trailed off and blushed.

"I recall such an agreement" Snape replied, not letting Harry know that he'd sent a charm to awake him when the boy awoke so he could get up without having Harry startle him from his slumber. His instincts would have caused him to react and clutch his wand faster than anyone could blink and Snape did not want to end up hexing Harry...without reason. Besides, it was not an appealing thought to have a child awake him as rudely as he was sure the boy had intended to do.

"Right, well I'll wait for you downstairs?" Harry mumbled and lowered his gaze to the floor, feeling a bit embarrassed although there wasn't really much reason to.

"Harry" Snape's voice caused him to pause as he'd turned to leave the room.

"I would much prefer that you change from your sleeping attire before we proceed downstairs" He said, raising an eyebrow at Harry's appearance as it had been one of his rules for the boy not to do wander around the house in his pyjamas.

"Oh!" Harry gasped and stared down at his clothes. "Sorry, I was just...in a hurry when I got up" He blushed again and left the room, feeling rather humiliated as he went to change.

Snape stared at the doorway and for once, he let a broken rule slip and just proceeded to find his shoes, smirking to himself slightly as he remembered the stunned look on the boy's face.

Harry scanned the few clothes he had and decided to be a bit festive and grabbed a green t-shirt to go with his jeans before running a hand through his hair and left his room.

"I feel like I'm betraying gryffindor somehow" Harry sighed to himself as he stared down at his shirt but tossed those thoughts aside for now as he couldn't be bothered changing again and nothing else seemed to be apropriate enough.

--

He found Snape downstairs frowning at the Daily Prophet in his hands as though it was an offending object but once Harry came into view, he discarded it and glanced at the Christmas tree.

"I believe that it is only fitting for you to open your gifts now" He said and caught the quirk in Harry's eyebrows as though he was trying to conceal excitement.

"They can't all be for me" Harry said as he approached the tree and crouched in front of it while Snape seated himself in an armchair to his left.

"I cannot imagine myself recieving such a pile of gifts during this time of year" Snape said dully. "And certainly not that colourfully decorated" He frowned at the spotted, shiny and mostly red or gold presents.

"Nor do I recall being sorted into Gryffindor" Snape added with a hint of distaste.

"Right" Harry smirked and reached for the first gift to see that it was from Hermione and was the shape of a book or two, of course.

Snape watched curiously as Harry unwrapped each gifts that contained candy, books, several unusual items, a jumper from Mrs Weasley and various other things that didn't really catch his attention.

But as the presents under the tree lessened and the wrapping paper piled higher, Snape found himself feeling slightly anxious for a certain gift was now clutched in the boy's hands.

Harry stared at the skarlet package tied with a blue ribbon and saw that the card read "To Harry, from your new father" and he glanced at Snape who stared back as though he was feeling rather uncomfortable.

Harry grabbed at the ribbon and pulled it loose to reveal his gift inside. There were three items. One was a book titled "A history of Quiddtich players and their broomsticks", the second item was an odd watch that seemed to be running backwards and then forwards but it was gold and looked rather expensive. As great as those two things were, Harry found the third to be most important for it was a velvet box of a deep blood colour and inside he found a small sack of photographs. A few were of his father or of the three of them, but most of them were of his mother during her times at school.

"Where...where did you get these?" Harry asked softly as he looked over at Snape.

"Your mother was a friend of mine during our time at Hogwarts" Snape replied but refused to elaborate any further.

Harry stared back down at his photographs and remembered how Hagrid had given him an album last year but those were basic, posed photos...however these ones were much more. There was one of his mother sitting at the Gryffindor table with his father and three other boys laughing nearby. Another had her climbing an oak tree at a park in which Harry didn't recognise. There was one of his father a lot older and swooping in and out of view on a broomstick while another boy laughed nearby. A few were in colour though and Harry was confused.

"I thought wizarding photographs were only black and white?" He questioned.

"There is an enchantment that aims to reveal the colours" Snape answered. "But it does not always work and is rather complex to perform."

"Oh" Harry nodded and sighed before closing the box and looked determined now.

"Thanks" He mumbled but reached under the tree and pulled out a green gift wrapped with silver and gold ribbons. He turned and held it out to Snape with an anxious and eager expression whilst biting his lip softly.

Snape eyed it closely before taking it from the boy and examining the note in which read: "To father, from Harry. Merry Christmas".

He opened the gift and found a thick book inside on rare and hard-to-find potions ingredients that included a full history of their use and how the potions they were used in had been discovered. Even he could not hide the small smile that appeared on his face for it was a rather rare and expensive book.

"I didn't know what to get you" Harry said nervously as though Snape had scowled instead.

"And I know you like potions so I...well I asked Hermione to look up how to owl-order something and this was on the list so I got it and..." He trailed off and looked away.

"Thank you, Harry" Snape said and the boy looked up with a soft expression of vunerability.

"It is an impressive gift" He added and Harry grinned.

"I'm glad you like it" Harry said, turning to look at the last few gifts under the tree. There were a few for Snape from Dumbledore and various others as well as (for some reason unknown to Harry) one from Draco and his parents. But seeing no others for himself, Harry settled back to enjoy the ones he had received which was a lot more than the previous year. He found himself reaching for his box of photos again after having flipped through his books a few times.

"I believe it is time for breakfast" Snape interupted after a moment as he got up and headed into the kitchen. Harry nodded and followed while turning over his strange watch in his hand.

"Sir? What does this do, I mean besides telling time?" He asked. "The hands are moving in weird ways...I actually can't tell the time on them."

"It only reveals the correct time to the owner" Snape replied while busying himself with the food.

"If you place the watch on your arm it should reveal that it is almost 6:30am. Whereas if someone else were to stare at the hands they would reveal the time approximatly several hours earlier, although it varies" He explained.

"Oh, cool" Harry said while strapping the watch onto his arm to see that what Snape had said was true and the time became clear but there were also a few snitches flying around on it now.

"It's wicked" Harry grinned.

Snape glanced sideways at him for a moment and returned to the breakfast, hiding his smirk as he was relieved to hear that Harry liked the gifts he had spent hours picking out for him.

"But sir..." Harry frowned in confusion. "When did you buy these? I mean you didn't know I was coming until a few days ago and you haven't left..."

"I purchased the gifts several weeks prior" Snape replied. "The watch however came as an owl-order whereas most of the photographs I already had in my possession" He added, not willing to admit the frustration it was to track down several more pictures of James and the other Marauders with him. It had been a tiring task indeed and he was disgusted to discover that he did own a resonable amount of them that weren't offensive to the four boys he despised.

They settled down and ate breakfast in silence. Afterwards Snape waved his wand about the sitting room to rid it of the brightly coloured wrappings but left the tree there for Harry to take down tomorrow.

The rest of the morning passed by as he and Harry read some of their new books and just enjoyed the silent company of the other.

Lunch was sandwiches containing some of the ham from the night before and that was when Harry recieved a letter from Ron, describing how he wished Harry was there and how much fun he was having. Snape eyed the envious look on Harry's face and the way he sighed as he read the note and slumped his shoulders as he did whenever he was disapointed or sad.

"I do believe that the Weasleys would enjoy your company for several hours" Snape said, surprising even hismelf with his words.

"If you were to floo-call them and request permission to visit, I am sure that it could be arranged under the condition that you return before 6:00pm."

"Really?" Harry grinned. "Are you sure?"

"I have no objection" Snape said, biting back further comments as he said it.

"That'd be great, thanks!" Harry rushed over to the fireplace and went about his call before grabbing some things when Mrs Weasley's thrilled voice invited him right over.

And with that, Harry was gone.

Snape frowned as he had no idea why he had done that and regretted it as the sitting room appeared to darken and fall deathly silent. The absence of Harry removed the warmth and contentness of the place, much to Snape's annoyance for he'd never had Harry there before and it had seemed relatively peaceful all previous years since he had begun teaching at Hogwarts.

And the worst part...was that after only an hour, he was starting to miss Harry. Even if it was only for a moment.

--

"That's wicked, mate!" Ron grinned as Harry explained what he'd gotten for Christmas and how he was enjoying his time with Snape so far. He left out important details such as the hugging and nightmares for it felt rather personal and embarrassing if he were to reveal it to Ron right now with all the other Weasley around.

He spent the day flying outside with the twins, Ron and Ginny and that was probably the highlight of his visit for he never realised how much he missed flying until he went without it for a period of time. Mrs Weasley gave him more lunch until he was sure he would collapse from all the food. Afterwards was more Quidditch and then it was getting rather late so Harry headed back towards the fireplace to bid his farewells.

"Well it was great having you over, mate" Ron grinned.

"Yeah, thanks for having me" Harry said to everyone.

"Nonesense, you're always welcome dear" Mrs Weasley patted his cheek and reached for the floo powder. "Do take care."

"I will, thanks again" Harry nodded and within minutes he was shooting out of the fireplace and back into the sitting room at Spinner's End.

Snape had heard the sound from downstairs in his potions lab so he finished what he was doing and made his way upstairs. He rolled his eyes at Harry's appearance and flicked his wand to remove the soot from the boy's hair, face and clothes. Only then did he check to see what time it was and notice that Harry was early by about half an hour.

"Thanks" Harry mumbled as he dusted himself off.

"I assume that you had an enjoyable visit?" Snape asked casually or at least what was to be considered as "casual" coming from him.

"Yeah" Harry nodded. "Um, but I wanted to thank you properly. I mean you didn't have to let me stay here, or get me something for Christmas...and you really didn't have to let me spent the day with Ron and the Weasleys instead of staying here, not that I would have minded much..." He sighed.

"You've been really great to me and I don't even know how to thank you enough."

"Allowing my house to remain standing is repayment enough" Snape replied, partially joking.

"Although your gratitude is noted and apriciated. I too wish to offer thanks."

"Hm?" Harry looked up at those words.

"I intended to spend this holiday alone and in peace" Snape explained. "However, your company has been toleratable if not pleasing" He told the boy, seeing the smile on his face.

Harry squirmed for a moment and then inhaled sharply and forced his legs to move as he approached Snape, but seemed to think better of his actions once he came near enough.

"Erm, permission to hug?" He mumbled, unsure if he should attempt such an action but Snape had said he would provide it. Although it wasn't a comforting hug but merely a thankful one.

Snape said nothing and just wrapped the boy in an awkward embrance until they relaxed and it came more naturally.

"Thanks dad" Harry whispered but caught himself quickly as Snape released him soon after. "I...I mean, sir. Thanks sir" He gasped and looked away, directing his attention elsewhere.

"So um, what's for dinner?"

"I am yet to decide" Snape answered as he stared at the boy, rather stunned for he'd heard the boy's slip quite clearly.

"Right. Do you need any help with it?" Harry asked, blushing but he hid his face rather well. "You know? When you decide what we're having?"

"I believe I will manage without your assistance" Snape replied dryly.

"However..." He glanced over the boy and saw that it was more than soot that smudged his clothes. He suspected the twins were involved in bringing about a Quidditch matche for Harry had a light scratch on the back of his hand also. "I insist that you freshen up before we begin our meal" He said, crinkling his nose slightly in dislike.

"Yes sir" Harry said as if he was releived for the reason to leave the room and he headed upstairs to have a shower.

Snape watched the boy leave and glanced down at his own clothes for the boy had hugged him whilst being that filthy. She flickered his wand to freshen his clothes but it was more of a distraction that an actual bother. He pickled rat spleens and endured potion fumes for a living, after all; what was a little dirt?

He turned towards the kitchen and barely pondered on the upcoming meal for his mind kept drifting back to the boys clearly unintentional slip. He'd called him "dad" surely there was no mistaking in that but what did it mean? Snape still felt unworthy of such a title and wondered if Harry actually considered him that deeply involved in his life now or if he was merely hopedful, greatful or in a good mood to not consider his words?

No, he hadn't called him "father" but specifically chose "dad" which had a much more trusting and personal meaning to it.

Snape wasn't sure what to think or how he was supposed to react to such a thing. Perhaps it would be best to just take it all one step at a time? Yeah, and dinner was a good place to start.

Harry had just finished his shower and dressed when he stepped towards the mirror. He wiped it with his hand so he could see his reflection and sighed at his appearance. His messy hair that he could never control, his emerald eyes peering through his round glasses and his flushed face that was still a bit wet from his shower.

On numerous occasions, people have described him as being "just like James" his in looks but with Lily's eyes. Even Snape seemed to see him more as his birth father (since when did he call James that?) as he constantly barked at him for being arrogant and lazy, although Harry didn't really think that he was at all.

Looks could certainly be deceiving and it wasn't just involving Harry either. Hadn't he previously thought of Snape as a mean, dark dungeon bat? The way his cloak swished as he walked and the certain dislike that was expressed in his face? His sort-of greasy hair (although he noticed that it was less that way over the holidays...hm), and his mostly blank appearance as well as the snarl in his tone...he was a man that no one wished to be in trouble with or be approached by.

Until now, it never occured to Harry that perhaps that was simply and image that Snape put up for in the recent few days he was starting to think that there was a man buried in there; one with feelings and dreams.

Harry watched as the mirror began to fog up again and sighed. He ran his towl through his hair once more before attempting to flatten and control it. He gave up and made his way downstairs, wiping his glasses on his shirt as he did so.

Snape heard the boy enter and glanced over at him but was caught suspecting as Harry glanced up with his glasses in his hands and stared at him with his very Lily-like expression. Without those Potter-reminding glasses, Snape noticed that Harry had Lily's high cheekbones and kind but equally curious gaze. He wasn't sure if it made anything easier or harder, but for the first time since he had been fifteen...he saw Lily's eyes clearly as they stared into his without any real emotion but in simple softness.

"So um...what are we having?" Harry asked awkwardly as he placed his glasses back over his green eyes and pushed them into place atop his nose. His words were still fresh in his mind and he was certain that Snape had heard them clearly, which now he wished he had fallen deaf to for everything felt new and awkward once again...right when he'd felt that they'd been making some progress.

"Roast" Snape replied siomply but kept his back turned on Harry as he busied himself with dinner although it was actually ready to be placed on the table and eaten. He wanted to delay looking at the boy for just a few more minutes so he could gather himself.

"Great" Harry attempted a smile as Snape finally turned around and the plates, food etc hovered over onto the table and the man sat across from him.

"Look um, sir..." He sighed as a wave of unsettling silence washed over them and he felt the need to hush over what he'd called the man earlier.

"About before...when I called you, well...you know?" He mumbled and Snape had to stare at him in order to keep up with what he was saying but decided not to say anything about it just yet.

"I didn't mean it, well actually it was more like..." Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance for he couldn't make sense of what he was trying to say or even how exactly to discuss it with Snape.

"You are making no sense, Mr Potter" Snape sighed, looking unnaturally tired as he spoke and lowered his gaze to his plate that was now relatively piled with food.

"Sorry, I just don't know how to explain what happened" Harry stared at his lap, feeling embarrassed more than ever now. "It sort of...slipped out."

"Not everyone is so finely tuned with your stuttering, Potter" Snape said. "Just what exactly "slipped out" as you described it?" He questioned, wanting the boy to admit to what he'd called him if for no reason other than to convince him that he hadn't been hearing things before.

"You know what!" Harry said in agitation and squirmed in his seat slightly before taking a gulp of courage and spat it out. "I...I called you...dad" He uttered the last word as a barely-audible whisper.

"Hm" Snape nodded and pushed his plate away slightly, plucking up his own courage to stare right at Harry, instead of looking at anything but those eyes as he so desperately wanted not to do.

"I haven't the slightest idea as to why you would even wish to call me by such a title" Snape began and Harry glanced up as he listened carefully to each word he spoke slowly.

"However, regardless of your misplace desire to verbally acknowledge our new arrangement, I believe that it would be unwise to do so" He nodded and Harry looked a bit confused if not slightly disapointed as well.

"I have agreed to this unfortunate but not entirely bothersome position...but you must not forget that such an arrangement is not bound by neither a legal nor magical contract" Snape stared right at the boy now, as though he was trying to read his mind...that's what it appeared to Harry although the man was actually simply trying to make his point clear.

"In most sense...I am not in any way -apart from our agreement- your father" Snape said firmly and Harry's head bowed slightly to those words as if he had been stricken.

"But I thought..." Harry tried to make things a bit more clear since Snape was once again over-phrasing everything and making it harder for him to find a loophole or understand his intentions fully.

"You thought what, Mr Potter?" Snape asked as Harry didn't say anything else for a moment.

"I...well you..." Harry let out a heavy sigh and stared up at the man, failing to mask his disapointment now and Snape saw it clearly although he gave no visable reaction to it.

"Why not?" He asked instead, staring into the darker eyes that met his own emerald ones.

Snape frowned at that question and bit back his insults about the boy missing the obvious or being annoying while trying to work out what to say for the answer wasn't really obvious at all.

Severus Snape was a man and wizard who hid away his emotions, who kept all his secrets guarded and mysterious...he didn't coddle children and in fact didn't like the youngesters at all. He always had an answer, he always had something to reply with...and yet he was stumped. He had defenses that could withstand even Voldemort's prying and destuction and yet all it took was two words to bring them down... "Why not?".

"The food is getting cold" Snape heard himself answering, as though his mouth and expression always went to self-preservation and defensive on their own now.

"I no longer wish to discuss this at the present time" He added and seeing no other option; Harry went quiet.

The air at the dinner table had been rather tense after that so each were glad when the food was gone and they were heading to their own rooms for bed.

Harry lay awake for hours, pondering on Snape's words and how when he'd asked his last question...the man had a flicker of something in his eyes that Harry thought had been confusion. He held onto that, because it meant that there was still a chance to keep his imagination that he had a parent now, a real parent that cared about him and was watching out for him.

--

But in the room down the hall, Snape was very much awake even long after the point where Harry had finalyl fallen into a slumber.

Why not? That's what Harry had asked and Snape had no answer for it. He had no long phrases and descriptions that were correct in which he could back his decision or starement up with. He had no reasoning for why things could not be different.

Sure, there was the fact that he was a spy against Voldemort for Dumbledore but the boy didn't know that nor would it be a wise idea to inform him just yet. That was probably Snape's real reason for not being able to answer the question directly for it was an important factor to consider. But surely there could be a way around that? It was just another secret to keep, wasn't it?

Snape sighed and sat on the edge of his bed, still dressed for he hadn't taken a shower or done anything after dinner other than shutting himself in his room to think and pace the room.

He was a spy, he couldn't overlook that fact...but he'd already agreed to be the boy's "father" so what difference did it make if it was official or not?

Blood adoption would be too big a step forward at this point, besides it also involved the Ministry and such...something that would result in the entire Wizarding world to know about and that would not end well for anyone.

Claiming guardianship would be too risky as well. It was less obvious and dramatic as the blood adoption but still went through the Ministry and could put them both in tough situations with Death Eaters or one day even Voldemort himself for Snape could be ordered to take the boy to him. What a way that would be to end his services as a spy or even his life.

Of course, there was one other option. One that few knew of but being the great Potions Master that Snape was...he knew of its existance clearly. The Parental Bonding Potion. A tricky to make and lengthy, time-consuming process that it would involve and yet it was in some way...perfect. 

The useage of such potion would not require Ministry approval for it only called for a witness, in which would be where Dumbledore be of assistance.

Snape swept off his feet and stode out of his bedroom, down the stairs and paused at a sudden halt in his sitting room. How ironic, that the book with all the information and instructions had been right under their noses the entire time.

He pulled the thick, dusty, leather-bound book from the shelf as though it was delicate and could break when he read it. Snape sat on the nearest armchair and flipped through the aged pages carefully, scanning each title and description headline as he browsed. Finally, he came to a halt and eyed the page hungrily for it seemed jsut too perfect.

But that was when he placed the book out of his reach on the small coffee table and growled to himself.

For years of living under his horrid, drunken and violent father followed by years of torment from the Marauders have taught him that if something was good and seemingly flawless...it was most likely too good for him.

He never had such good luck. He never had periods of happiness...only acomplishment and relief. If he aimed for something or someone that he desired or cared deeply for than it would most likely to be cruely snatched from his grasp. Snape couldn't count how many times life had played this sickening game with him, but it never seemed to end and the higher powers involved in his twisted, unfortunate journey that was his life, have never been known to show mercy.

And yet it was as though the book was crying out to him. Which was ridiculous to Snape for the house was silent, too silent for such a thing...and yet he could almost hear the words ringing from the pages and into his stubborn, miserable mind:

"This is possible. You can have this small thing. Take a chance, Severus. Maybe your luck starts now?".

Snape shook his head, ignoring his hair as he flicked about his face, and got to his feet so he could pace the room. It was what he always did when his thoughts were contradicting his surroundings.

Part of him wanted to put the book back on the shelf, leave it where it belonged and listened to all sensible reasoning that was fighting the other luring thoughts. And that part...it wanted him to do this more than he could recall ever wanting anything...perhaps even Lily. But that wasn't true, nothing could over-ride his love for Lily, but at that particular moment it felt as though that statement was untrue.

Snape wanted to collapse to his knees, bow his head and cry out for it was infuriating to not know which path to take for he had always know which option was for his choosing and where he was to end up.

He wanted to have a son, a family and someone to love him in return...and yet something was trying to convince him otherwise and reason with him of the dangers involved with such a choice.

But seconds later...someone did cry out but it wasn't Snape.

The man froze and clutched his wand from the insides of his robes until he realised that Harry was having another nightmare only this one sounded quite a bit worst than the previous one.

Without another thought on the now-forgotten book, Snape rushed up the stairs and swept into the boy's room to see him sweating and clawing at his sheets.

"Harry" Snape said, taking a cautious step forward but his voice went to deaf ears.

 He reached for the boy but winced as a white-hot pain cursed through his left arm, causing him to withdraw it and clutching it in agony as well as surprise. Surely Voldemort wasn't back? It felt as it had before but while Snape panicked about leaving Harry and being relatively unprepared...the moment passed and the Dark Mark faded once again.

It was then that Snape noticed how calm Harry was once again, even if his scar looked mildly different for a moment. Was the boy effected by Voldemort as he was? Did they have something in common besides their love for Lily and their need for a family they belong to?

Snape sighed and moved his head to flick some hair out of his face and summoned a nearby chair to sink into it beside the bed.

He dried Harry's forehead and pillow by waving his wand but made no more efforts to touch the boy.

He looked so innocent. Snape thought as he stared at the sleeping tweleve-year-old before him as all his previous thoughts and undecided concerns came flooding back to him and hung his head in defeat. He accepted the fact that he didn't know where to go from here, he realised that they both wanted a family member in their lives and Snape knew that this was too big for just him. Should he discuss it with Harry? No, that would bring false hope. Perhaps Dumbledore? Well he would anyway so that was a place to start.

Snape got to his feet and eyed the boy for a moment longer before turning to stand in the doorway as he felt ashamed of the way he'd treated him the previous year simply because of his deceiving appearance as James Potter. He even felt a bit guilty that he'd only ever cared about him at all because he was Lily's child.

But now he cared about Harry for who he was, for what he was...his son. Even if it wasn't by blood or Ministry approval, Harry was his son and nothing was going to change that. Except for the fact that in equal quanity...he was also not his son to claim, raise and nurture.

It was confusing and frustrating, in which was exactly why Snape hated every second he endured since the boy had uttered those two single words...why not?

Harry climbed out of bed, made it neat and than proceeded to dress in a casual blue shirt and jeans.

He left his room while wondering if he'd been the one to leave the door open for he could have sworn he'd closed it before going to sleep. When he reached the bottom step...he quickly noticed something was amiss.

Snape wasn't awake yet. Harry could tell that right away because the coffee machine was clean and empty, no candles or lamps were on and the place was deadly silent.

Sneaking back upstairs, Harry peaked into Snape's bedroom with extreme caution and almost released the doorknob in surprise as he spotted the large lump in the bed and the set of folded, black clothes on a nearby chair.

Harry left the room and headed back downstairs, deciding that he was still going to stay up but also didn't want to wake the man just yet. He eyed the Christmas tree and made a mental note to take it down later as he settled himself on an armchair and sighed. Harry glanced to his side and spotted a thick book resting atop the coffee table and wondered if he'd awoken in a different world for Snape never slept in and he never left his precious books out without putting them away.

Curious, Harry peered at the open page and noticed a lot of complicated instructions and rather rare ingredients listed, but otherwise found nothing interesting about it until his green eyes caught the title of the potion: Parental Bonding Potion.

"What's this?" Harry gasped and started to read the beginning of the description to himself, casting a cautious glance towards the stairs every few seconds.

Harry stopped there for a beastly lump had formed in his stomach and he felt the sense of being denied an ounce of happiness once again at those words; "to the point of even giving up his/her life for the child as any loving parent would". He didn't want another repeat of James and Lily's sacrifice, nor did he want to put Snape in a position that he could not resign from or disagree to. Harry would never want to be responsibe for yet another person dying for him.

And suddenly the entire idea of having a new father seemed horrible and selfish to Harry.

He backed away from the book and knew that he had to put an end to it all...no matter how much he wanted a real family.

Snape awoke no less than an hour later. He showered, changed and made his way downstairs to make breakfast for himself as well as Harry.

He had known that the boy was awake from the moment he'd left his room, because he'd peaked through the open door of the boy's room only to find it empty.

Snape entered the kitchen and was quite secretive about his glances around the room but the boy was nowhere in sight. Seeing his book laying open on the coffee table, he swished his wand and had it returned to its rightful shelf before Snape began seeking out the boy with renewed concern.

"Harry!" Snape scowled as he reduced himself to calling for him as though he was a lost dog, but even he couldn't deny that he was getting a bit nervous to the boy's absence.

"Sir?" Harry appeared casually through the backdoor at the shout of his name.

"I do not recall giving you permission to leave the house!" Snape snapped angrily as he eyed the boy and calmed himself for he had been worried; even if it was for just a moment.

"Sorry, I was just bored" Harry shrugged his shoulders when in truth he had deliberately wanted to annoy the man. Experience had taught him that if he wanted Snape to be angry with him then all he had to do was not go out of his way to impress him or behave himself. He wanted to anger Snape so much that he'd want him out and to dismiss their agreement.

Harry hated to do it, but in his mind, this was the best way to protect Snape...to make sure that he wasn't going to die in his place as his previous parents had.

"Well be bored indoors" Snape replied in a grumpy tone and proceeded into the kitchen.

"When do we have to go back to Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

"Five days" Snape replied as he prepared breakfast and wondered what had Harry so talkative, especially after their previous night's conversation.

Harry sat at the table and wondered how to best annoy the man but it had never been his intention before...it always seemed to just happen. But now things had changed and Snape seemed to see him more as himself and not as...James Potter.

Harry sighed as the idea occured to him...but he saw no other option. He ran his hands through his hair in efforts to ruffle it more and tried to appear as lazy as possible when Snape placed the food in front of him whilst eyeing him with suspicion.

"Do you think I could play Quiddtich today?" Harry asked casually as he ate and tried to appear calm even though his insides were curning.

"I do not believe that would be wise" Snape replied.

"We are surrounded by Muggles, surely you are aware of the stupidity in such a request?"

"But that's the fun" Harry said, trying to look as though he really was trying to be reckless, although he hardly considered his birth father was that was. He actually had no idea, but perhaps being the opposite to who Harry truly was is the way to go about this?

"No" Snape said firmly, scowling at the boy's ignorance and James tendacies.

"Your feet will remain firmly on the ground until we return to Hogwarts. And to ensure it, I will be confiscating your broom until such time."

Harry groaned as he hadn't wanted that to happen, but at least the man appeared to be more agitated than before.

Snape ignored his protest and continued to eat, only looking up when Harry pushed his plate away without finishing his food. The boy got to his feet, leaving his chair out and plate on the table before making his way upstairs.

Snape eyed him in annoyance and fought back the urge to yell at Harry make make him take his plate up and push the chair in. Although he wasn't sure why he hadn't demanded the boy to do so, Snape simply waved his wand and the two items went about the request on their own by magic.

Although there was one factor in the situation that Harry was unaware of and that involved the man's skill that enabled him to read minds. Snape hadn't been reading the boy's mind, but his thoughts and emotions were pratically flying off the boy so they were rather difficult to ignore.

Snape saw the calmness in the child, the way he appeared mostly bored or uninterested but he could sense the anxiety, the fear and even sadness that was overwhelming Harry and in unsettled him for he had no idea what could have caused it in a few hours. he hadn't sensed any of this the previous night, well only mildly but now it seemed as though something had changed...but what?

Snape sent his plate to the kitchen and began eyeing the nearby rooms for any clues as to what had brought about a emotional change in the child.

He peaked outside but it looked exactly the same as always, so did ever other inch of the place. The only thing that had been changed was the fact that he'd put his book away when...

He skidded his pacing to a halt and stared at the spot where his book had been resting from where he'd unintentionally left the the previous night and a small voice reminded him: it had been left open.

So Harry had read about the potion? Why was he so troubled then?

Snape sunk into the same armchair that he'd been sitting in the previous night and let out a heavy sigh in disapointment for he'd been so sure that Harry would be excited or at elast somewhat happy with the idea and instead he appeared downright miserable.

It was uncertain how long Snape sat there in that chair thinking, but whilst he was...Harry was sitting in his room just as confused and unhappy.

He kicked his wardrobe, threw his pillow and sunk to the floor...but it did nothing to ease his mood and inability to just let go of his burning desire to have a family or more specifically: to have Snape as his father.

Harry knew since he'd decided to take this dejecting path this morning that it wouldn't be easy at all but now it was starting to kill him slowly inside.

He had become so attached that he feared the damage it would cause to force himself to give up what he now had and distance himself.

If he destroyed their agreement now he had a sickening, fearful feeling that it would be gond forever...even after Voldemort was gone from the world and their lives. Was it really worth it?

"Of course it is" Harry scowled at the annoying voice in his head that kept trying to make him hold onto his newfound father.

"I don't want him to die" He sniffed and hunched on the floor beside his bed, just as a shadow swooped into the room from the doorway.

Harry spun around, knocking his head on the side of the bed as he did so, and got to his feet hurridly as Snape stood there and pretended that he hadn't overheard the last few words from the boy.

"Sir?" Harry asked as Snape looked oddly...none-blank. When he stared at the man's face he saw the confusion, he saw the anger and something that appeared to be disapointment.

"I believe that we need to talk" Snape told him.

"Now!" He added sharply as he turned and Harry hadn't followed right away.

Harry jumped to the suddenly dark tone and ran after the man, very concerned for his own wellbeing now since he had not heard that tone for a while and perhaps he had angered the man as much as he'd wanted to. Now he wasn't so sure if it had been such a bright idea.

"Sit" Snape said and Harry sunk into the nearby two-seater sofa and eyed the man with a mixture of anxiety and nervousness.

Snape caught the look and forced himself to regain calmness for losing his temper at the boy was no way to handle the situation, even though anger was always how he reacted when he was unfamilar with an emotion or was unsure how to express his concern to another living being.

"Harry..." Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before trying to work out how exactly to talke to the boy but all he knew was that he had to. He refused to just let this go, to just let Harry go and he wanted to be the boy's father...now more than ever.

"You are behaving oddly today and I demand to know why."

"It's nothing sir. I'm always like this" Harry said quickly but his own words sounded like a lie, even to him.

"Perhaps several weeks prior I would have believed you, but I now know for a fact that is it false" Snape's eyes narrowed in annoyance, making Harry edge back in his seat slightly under the intimidating glare.

"I am not here to punish you for whatever wrong you have done, nor do I wish to prematurely send you away" Snape tried to reassure the boy, unaware that those words were only making Harry feel worst for that's what he was trying to achieve: being angrily sent away.

"I am asking only that you discuss what is bothering you. And do not attempt yet another fruitless lie" He added firmly.

And what was Harry to say to that? It wasn't a matter of words though for the boy was crumbling inside. He hadn't had the chance the gather himself before Snape had demanded this conversation and he his emotions were still raw. When the man had said those things, about wanting to know what bothered him and that he wasn't going to send him away...it struck Harry quite hard because he would have to give it all up. He would have to return to the unloving Dursleys, to be cold and lonely once again...he couldn't have a parent because anyone that got close enough would surely die at the hands of Voldemort if they liked him enough to protect him.

It was clear now that Snape was in as much danger as Harry's parents had been and the boy was determined to seperate himself for the man's sake of life...but right now, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Harry?" Snape asked as Harry sniffed and his eyed looked more pained than ever, which was not a very reassuring sight especially with their likliness to Lily's.

"I...can't" Harry choked out.

"I don't..." He inhaled sharply and knew what had to be done, for the sake of a life in which he didn't want to be responsible for destroying.

"I don't want you as my father" He gasped out and Snape was taken aback, although Harry couldn't see that while he bowed his head and continued to sniffle with tears sliding down his face.

Snape stared at the boy as a deep sadness filled within himself, along with an anger that he had done something wrong and screwed up his life once again and that it was just as he'd expected: too good for him and it wasn't meant to last.

Despite everything the pained man felt, there was still the smallest hint of something in the deepest corner of his mind that told him something wasn't right.

It wasn't his emotions or twisted unluckiness for he was sure that was all real, but it was the simple fact that the boy was crying as though grieving the loss of a loved one instead of feeling guilty about changing his mind.

A day ago he'd called him "dad" and now after reading the book about the parental bond potion he didn't want Snape to be his father? As a teacher and naturally keen student, Snape did not see the logic in such a reaction.

The boy had lost his parents when he was a baby so he'd never felt such kindness and protection that Snape had tried to bestow on him...surely the boy was latch onto the first sign of it as it came along? he'd stated that he'd thought this through and wanted it so badly. What was the problem?

The anger boiled inside Snape, mixed with other horrible and yet familar emotions but for one of the only times that he could recall in his life since he'd started at Hogwarts...he did not acknowledge it. All he could see was a confusing situation and a weeping boy that he cared too much for to let go.

"Harry..." He stared to say and approached the boy but Harry got to his feet and shoved him away, although he seemed unable to look at him.

"No! I don't want you!" Harry sobbed. "I hate you and I want things to go back to the way they were before!" He said, hating every word that slipped out of his mouth.

"You can't be my father, you hate me! I don't want this anymore, I..." He gulped and sighed, his voice lowering slowly as he spoke again.

"I wish you had never accepted."

And with that, Harry stormed upstairs and slammed his bedroom door before slumping face-first into his pillow to muffle his continued cries.

Snape stood fixated to the spot and even in his confusion and determination...there was no denying that it had been like the last stab in his heart that he could handle. His heart was cold, dark and badly injured. He had shields of indifference to protect it from further harm, mostly after the patching he had to do since Lily's death but he'd opened a small gap for Harry and now it had been torn.

Snape felt like a broken man.

In the midst of everything, he held onto the smallest piece of hope that existed inside the twists of emotions and pain that he could no longer make sense of as he stumbled over to the bookshelf and pulled out the leather book, anxious to find out what exactly it said again that could have caused such a reaction.

He must have sat there for over and hour while reading and re-reading the several paragraphs before his mind settled back into rational place and it finally kicked into gear. The meaning of Harry's sudden change and need to distance himself became all too clear and Snape felt like hexing himself for not even considering it before. And he called himself a professor?

But Snape made no move to go to Harry's bedroom. He was going to sleep on it and wait until the boy had calmed down for he too needed to gather himself.

He made himself a coffee in the kitchen and settled at the table in attempt to ease away the ache he felt in his chest, wondering how it had taken such a short time to go from disliking the boy to caring so much for him that he was pratically already his son to Snape. When the boy had said those things...it had hurt. Snape hadn't felt such a stab of pain that wasn't caused by curses or actual injuries before since...well, since he'd ruined his friendship with Lily and watched her go off with that Potter. Of course, that didn't count her death because Snape refused to even remember what that had felt like.

--

After an hour of sipping coffee and calming himself, Snape cleaned the cup by magic and made his way upstairs. He pressed his ear against the door of Harry's bedroom and once he was sure that the boy was asleep he carefully entered the room and stared down at him.

Snape flickered his wand to remove the glasses and hover them onto the bedside table before he transfigured the boy's clothes into pyjamas. Although he placed the blankets over Harry more firmly with his own hands and lightly brushed some hair from his face so he could see his expression clearer. He was not pleased to see the tear trails there nor the slight frown of discomfort on Harry's face.

Snape sighed inaudiably and left the room with the door slightly ajar in case the boy awoke with a nightmare and needed confort, although he wasn't sure if he would be able to give it this time.

Snape went to his own room and prepared for bed but it was another hour before he was able to sleep and it had nothing to do with the amount of caffeine in his system.

Harry awoke the following morning with an aching head and found himself in his pyjamas although he couldn't remember changing nor did he recall placing his glasses on his bedside table. Had Snape done that? Surely not. How could the man care anything for him after all the horrid things he'd said to him the previous night? Snape was supposed to hate him, kick him out and never want anything to do with him ever again. Apparently things were more complicated than Harry could understand.

Harry sighed and changed into a red shirt and a pair of jeans before wandering cautiously down the stairs where he found Snape reading the Daily Prophet at the table and there was a plate of food waiting for him.

He eyed the food warily before hunger seized him and he sat down to eat. Snape gave no indication that he knew Harry was there and just continued to read the paper casually as he did every morning.

The silence was worst than any arguing or yelling that could have taken place and it made Harry feel much more nervous and guilty as the minutes ticked by. He wanted to say how sorry he was and how he didn't mean all those things that he'd forced himself to say. He desperately wanted to pretend that the night before never even happened or it was all a big misunderstanding...but he knew that was all just wishful thinking.

"How do you intend to spend your spare time today?" Snape's voice caused Harry to drop his fork beside his plate as the sudden voice had startled him.

"Erm..." Harry felt awkward and unsure as he retrieved his fork and stared at his mostly empty plate. "I...I don't know" He shrugged honestly.

"Than perhaps you could assist me as I brew several extra potions for the Hospital Wing?" Snape offered even though his face was yet to appear from behind the newspaper.

"No thanks" Harry sighed although he wouldn't have minded it so much; he had to remain distant. Why was the man even being nice to him still? Snape was supposed to hate him!

"As you wish" Snape said, followed by a small sigh. "We will be discussing the events of the previous night" He added. "Do not think that I will simply allow it to fall forgotten."

Damn! 'Yes, sir" Harry mumbled, now pushing his plate away as he no longer felt the hunger nor desire to take another bite. And with that he got to his feet and turned to head up the stairs, unaware that the newspaper had now bent to reveal Snape's concerned and disappointed expression as he watched the boy leave.

It wasn't until an hour before lunch that the pair saw each other again, for whilst Harry had spent all morning flipping through the pictures of his parents, Snape had been pacing in his labs and had became even more agitated by the hour.

Harry glanced up from a picture he'd received at Christmas as there was a knock at the door but looked away when he saw Snape standing there as though the dark-cloaked man was on a mission.

"May I enter?" Snape asked.

"It's your house" Harry sighed but nodded and put his stack of pictures as well as his photo album aside.

"I require a truthful explanation as to why you wish to no longer partake in our agreement" Snape said as he sat across from Harry in a wooden desk chair. But the boy would not look at him and instead stared at the floor.

"I hate you" Harry said lamely, no longer having the strength to think of reason why he would ever want to push the man away.

"I believe that I requested a truthful explanation, Mr Potter" Snape scowled but not with his usual tone of anger although it was extensively frustrating to be constantly pushed away by the boy when he was trying to hard to keep his temper in check and figure out what was going on. He even surprised himself by how much he wanted to fix this disruption between himself and the boy.

"How do you know it's not true?" Harry glanced up, annoyed now that he couldn't get rid of the man, even if a part of him didn't really want to. "You're mean and..." He paused.

"Go on..." Snape encouraged with a narrowed glare, almost as if he was daring Harry to continue with what he assumed would be logical but mildly irrational insults.

"You're..." Harry took a deep breath before continuing and vented whatever came to mind as he searched his memories for something to verbally throw at the man.

"You're mean, you speak in ridiculous and long sentences that no one understands, you don't care about anyone but yourself, you turned me against Potions in my first lesson when I had been looking forward to it, you never did anything other than insult me and my friends, you're horrible and I just...HATE YOU!" He yelled the last part out for an added effect but went quiet as there was a hint of sadness in Snape's eyes for a fraction of a second and guilt filled within him once again.

Snape blessed the heavens for granting him patience and control, because during times like these he just wanted to throttle Potter.

"I believe that those excuses are in the past. Have things not changed since I accepted your request to be your father?" Snape asked and Harry bowed his head again.

"You claim to loathe me and yet you have no request to leave? You have not destroyed my home, for if you have no concern for me than my belongings should be of no significance to you either. And you have no objection to sharing a meal at the same table as myself" Snape added slyly and almost smirked in relief as he saw Harry's expression fall into defeat and was so sure that the boy's words had indeed been a lie. He then scowled at himself thinking otherwise for even a moment.

"Perhaps now it would be a wise to inform me of the real reason as to why you do not wish to continue our agreement?" Snape suggested.

"Okay, so I don't really hate you" Harry sighed miserably and felt as though he was letting Snape down by allowing him to set himself up for death. "But you really can't be my father anymore" He added, still not looking up as he couldn't stand to face the man right now.

"You are not so mighty that you are allowed to make decisions for another" Snape frowned and Harry glanced up in surprise, looking a bit confused as well.

"Do you think, had your parents been alive, that if you had a disagreement and no longer wished for them to be your parents that they would just throw you out?" Snape asked.

"I would never not want my parents" Harry scowled as though he'd been deeply offended by the suggestion and had clearly missed the point of what Snape was trying to say.

"Exactly" Snape nodded wisely. "And yet you wish to dismiss me?" His tone lowered and he stared at Harry with a different expression that the boy didn't recognize. But the words and emotion laid within the next sentence shocked Harry even further and caused his entire being to ache with non-explainable pain.

"Where have I failed you if you no longer wish for me to be your father?"

Harry had to bite back more tears as the guilt was becoming too much. Snape had just admitted that he felt as though he was the one failing because Harry "didn't want him" anymore.

"I...I don't want you to die" Harry sniffed and finally admitted his tormenting thought as he was unable to keep it inside anymore.

"I admit that you will put me in an early grave..." Snape began but his tone turned firm once again as he continued. "...during the incidences in which you feel the need to risk your neck recklessly for the sake of others, but I cannot see the logic in what you are clearly implying. Unless you are, of course, referring to your own parents?" Snape nodded when he saw Harry glance up again with the smallest hints of hope in his emerald eyes.

"They died saving me" Harry sniffed again but wiped his eyes with his sleeve while glancing at the photos on the bed beside him. "I don't want you to as well."

Snape felt the wave of guilt, fear and remorse washing away as the boy spoke and was replaced with intense relief that the boy didn't hate him, he did want him as his father and it was a silly reason that had caused all of this...one that could surely be fixed or else Snape wasn't a Slytherin.

"Harry, look at me" Snape said and the boy did, although he seemed rather reluctant to. "I will not lie, but your parents had placed their faith in the wrong person. That person than betrayed them and that is why they reached a rather premature end" He explained, although Snape left out his involvement and the fact that he felt James Potter wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway with his reckless tendencies beyond anything he'd ever seen before, (Harry was different because he did it to help others not achieve some new level of thrill; Snape knew that fact now).

"They chose to protect you, however I can assure you that it was unlikely that the Dark Lord would have spared them, had they chosen to stand aside" Snape said and watched as Harry bit his lip nervously.

"Your mother was especially talented in charms and potions, I will not deny that she had unmeasurable talent, but I do believe that I too possess a great deal of knowledge and ability that keeps me alive. I assure you, Harry...that my life is in as much danger as it is, even without you in it. Being my son will not change that."

"But..." Harry sniffled again, trying to control his emotions as he was tired of crying and falling apart whenever the man said something nice about him.

"Our agreement still stands" Snape said and moved to leave the room and give the boy space, but paused as he neared the bed and went to pass him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I am aware that you have discovered the potion in which I had been reading prior to this misunderstanding. If the chance should arise, would you feel ready to accept the potion and what it represents? Perhaps to make this agreement more promising?" He asked, allowing himself to sound curious and concerned.

"You mean...would I like you to...adopt me?" Harry choked out.

"Yes" Snape replied whilst feeling rather anxious now.

Harry couldn't speak, and once again he found himself flinging his arms around Snape and hugging the man only this time it wasn't because he was distraught and there was no awkwardness. It was in pure joy and happiness that the man actually wanted him as his real son one day.

Snape wrapped his own arms around the boy, hugging him closer than he had any previous time and allowed themselves a moment of bliss before he pulled back and nodded.

"Whenever you are ready, Harry" Snape said. "However, I do not believe that it would be wise to make any rash decisions at the present time. Perhaps it would be prudent to take the time to know the other before such a permanent step is taken...for the sake of my sanity, if nothing else" He smirked and patted Harry's head lightly as he turned and finally exited the room.

Harry made his way downstairs for lunch sometime later but found that there was no food prepared and Snape wasn't even in sight.

"Sir?" Harry glanced around for the man but it wasn't until noticed the door leading down to the potions lab was open that he allowed himself to calm down. Harry glanced through the fridge and decided to make them both sandwiches instead of just requesting food as he felt any other child would do. He was perfectly capable of making them himself and couldn't see why Snape should have to do everything for him as though he was a helpless baby.

After placing two sandwiches on a plate for himself and left it on the table, Harry carried Snape's plate towards the door and knocked.

"Professor?" He called down once a rough "What?" echoed from within. "I am...made you lunch, if you're hungry."

There was a pause, followed by footsteps and the appearance of the dark-clothed man himself.

"Lunch?" Snape raised an eyebrow as Harry hadn't prepared such a meal for him before...or any meal for that matter, not unless they had prepared dinner together.

"Yes, sir" Harry said, holding up the plate of sandwiches.

Snape spotted a similar plate over on the table and noticed the time. "Very well, thank you" He accepted the plate and joined Harry at the table.

"Sir...did you, I mean did you really mean all those things before?" Harry asked after a moment of silence and he really wanted to know, although he wasn't very specific in which parts he was referring to, if not all of it.

"I do not believe that I would have given such ridiculous answers if I did not, as you say...mean them" Snape replied and Harry knew that was true.

"If I wanted to be rid of your presence already than you would not be here right now" He added.

Harry cracked a light smile at those words and nodded while finished the last of his first sandwich.

"And you really want me to be your son? You can take it back if you don't, I won't mind" Harry said although it wasn't entirely true.

"I don't want you to not be able to turn back on it later or regret...you know? Being my father. I would understand" He shrugged for it wasn't new for an adult not to want him or love him in a way that a family member should. The Dursleys were living proof of that.

Snape paused and sighed in annoyance before staring hard at Harry.

"Do you have such lack in self-worth that you believe yourself unworthy of having a family?" Snape asked, although he could ask himself the same question. "Harry, you are already a son to me. Now enough of these silly questions and let us eat in peace" He grumbled, reaching for his sandwich again.

"Right, sorry sir" Harry said but sounded rather relieved and calm now.

Snape himself was quite content that he and Harry had escaped their first real drama as a family and somehow managed to come out relatively unharmed, but there was always the fear of it reoccurring once again.

"Harry?" He asked once the dishes had been cleared away and the boy paused to look at him curiously when he'd been making his way towards the sofa.

"Perhaps you are simply too forgiving much alike your mother was, but I am curious to know if perhaps there is anything left unresolved between us? I do not consider myself as knowledgeable a father as I am sure Mr Weasley is and I am also quite unfamiliar with having a family member that I previously did not. Your doubt is enough reason to feel as though I have failed you" He admitted although the last part he had not overly intended to say.

"No" Harry said with such determination and honestly that Snape was rather surprised as the boy approached him.

"You've helped me with school, you took Quidditch into consideration and you even let me stay with you for Christmas when you really didn't have to. Sir, you let me eat whenever I need to and as much as I wanted to, you never forced me to do chores all day and you make me feel better when I have a nightmare or when things were hard. If that's not what a father does, than what?" He smiled.

"I don't remember my real parents and the Dursleys hate me more than a filthy rug on their perfect floor...you're the first real parent I've ever known" He hugged Snape and the man couldn't help but return the gesture although it was a subconscious reaction for he was a bit stunned by the boy's words and abrupt contact.

"You haven't failed me" Harry said, although his voice was a bit mumbled. "You're the first one to really be there for me."

Snape had nothing to say, so when Harry pulled back, he simply nodded and watched the boy walk over to turn the television on.

Harry may be becoming more comfortable with hugging but Snape was further agitated by it. In the duration of the Christmas holidays, he had endured more physical contact than he had in months...if not years! It was going to take quite some time to get used to if it wasn't for the purpose of comforting the child after a nightmare.

Snape wondered what his "fellow" Death Eaters would say if they saw what he was now...a father. And to the boy-who-lived! Except that Snape was now starting to consider him as the boy-who-won't-stop-hugging. Although he had said that he would initiate the contact should he feel fit to do so only he hadn't expected Harry to consider it to apply both ways or to be so open-minded about the suggestion.

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and decided to return to his potions for at least they would not talk about emotional situations, attempt to establish further contact with him or make him feel as though he was still failing them. Yes, potions have always been very understanding of their master.

Harry glanced away from the stack of photos on his lap and looked at Snape who had rejoined him mere minutes ago and was now sitting several feet away while reading an aged book. Harry sighed and held up a particular photo, pulling out a mirror he'd found in a bathroom cabinet. He hadn't wanted to use it while Snape was in the room but it didn't seem as though either would be moving and he enjoyed the man's presence.

Snape rolled his eyes as Harry eyed him again but only looked up from his page when Harry held a mirror to his face and appeared to be comparing his reflection to several photos he was holding up.

"What in Merlin's cauldron are you doing?" Snape verbally snapped out of pure confusion and concern for the boy's metal state as it continued for several more minutes.

"Erm..." Harry blushed and lowered his mirror. "I was just...comparing" He winced slightly as Snape rose his wand but merely summoned the photos the boy had been holding.

Snape eyed them and saw that there were only two: one of James with those annoying Marauders and the other was of....himself and Lily. If Harry was comparing his appearance to his parents than why hadn't he just used a picture of them as a couple? Snape refused to acknowledge that he too was in one of the photos and just hovered them back to the boy.

"I know I have my mother's eyes and everyone says I look just like my birth...um, I mean my dad" Harry mumbled and Snape wondered why he was talking because he certainly gave no indication that he wanted to discuss the boy's crazy reasons for his mirror vs photo comparisons. Although he did catch how James was almost referred to as his "birth father" and that caused the edge of his mouth to twitch upwards in effort to hide a smirk.

"But my hair is too dark" Harry eyed the photos again. "My mum had red hair and dad's was brown...where did my colour come from? It reminds me of your hair: dark and weird" He frowned.

Snape pointedly ignored the "weird" comment. "I believe that a child can inherit more than simply parental traits. Lily's father had rather dark hair, perhaps you inherited the colour from him? I do not know about... James" parents however; my theory may be incorrect. Lily's eyes were also inherited from her father" Snape stopped his rambling there and scowled at himself...why was he even answering such a stupid comment from the boy? Who cares where his hair colour came from?

"Why do you know more about my mum than my dad?" Harry asked curiously, raising his mirror again to examine his features.

"Your mother...we were friends" Snape replied simply. "James and I were not."

"Oh" Harry answered and pondered on that thought for a moment but seemed to have nothing else to say as he returned to his photographs.

There was silence even after Harry lowered his mirror and busied himself with sorting through his photos, placing them in categories that Snape couldn't quite decipher. The man got to his feet and went about preparing dinner, well aware that the time was nearing for them to return to Hogwarts. In a way he longed for the simplicity and schedule of the school while there was also the fact that things would go from casual to cautious once again. How far they had come in such a short time made him very anxious and unsettled.

Snape swished his wand and paused to glance at Harry but the boy appeared oblivious to the attention and continued with what he was doing. Once strangers, then enemies and now a budding family. Life worked in strange ways, but Snape was still having trouble accepting their situation and that perhaps it could last or end happily.

He turned away from the boy and continued to prepare their meal, hoping that they had indeed cleared up all their issues before they returned to Hogwarts as it would be much harder to comfort and talk to him in that surrounding whereas here it was only the pair of them.

-------

Time and the world around them had seemed to slow down for the Christmas duration, although it still felt as though it had gone too fast, not allowing them to fully enjoy it's possibilities. Snape knew the following day they would be packing and preparing to leave his humble home in Spinner's End but he wished it wasn't true.

Harry had gone to bed a mere hour ago and was sleeping contently even though he'd woken ten minutes ago but fell asleep again with ease. Snape moved swiftly into his room, silent and unnoticeable just as years of spying had taught him. He stood beside the boy's bed and looked down at him for more time than necessary. Slowly and cautiously, he brushed some hair from Harry's face and just watched him, wondering how simply their lives had because so entwined and complicated.

Snape recoiled his hand and frowned, turning to leave the bedroom while shutting the door partially ajar, until a small voice broke the muteness and he paused to ensure that he heard it correctly.

"Night, dad" Harry mumbled as he rolled over onto his side.

Snape stood there transfixed but the boy did not appear to have woken from his rest. It gave him an odd sense to hear those words, if they had even been directed at him or if Harry was even aware of his mutterings. Nonetheless, Snape felt compelled to answer before he turned and headed to his own bedroom in anxiety for the upcoming day.

"Goodnight, my son."

It was lightening outside but still far off from sunrise. Harry lay on his side but rolled over while kicking at his blankets. His face formed a frown and his chest heaved faster as though he was running. Whimpering softly, Harry rolled again and his blanket slid to the floor, leaving him mostly uncovered while one hand clenched at his pillow.

--

"Bravery" Voldemort said as he stared at Harry. "Your parents had it too'.

Harry stood there in fear while the man spoke about bringing his parents back, even as the logical part of his mind wondered if that was truly possible or if it was worth giving up the stone just to have them back. But of course it wasn't.

"You liar!" Harry yelled when the images of his parents faded after Voldemort had made a short speech about how there was no good or evil, only power.

"Kill him!" Voldemort declared. Instead of Querill flying at him, it was a cloaked being such as the one he'd seen in the forbidden forest feeding off the unicorn.

Voldemort always haunted him, since he was a baby and it was only a flash of green light, but now he had a voice and face for his nightmares to feed off.

Harry stumbled backwards and stared up hopelessly while Voldemort stood over him and smirked in his twisted, fearful way.

"Do you see, Potter?" Voldemort asked while Harry raised his hand to his forehead, feeling the burning sensation there. "No one lives when I decide to kill them...not one and not even you will survive'.

"That's not true!" Harry said but his voice came out shaking and gasping.

"How will it feel?" Voldemort asked with sicking pleasure. "To watch them all die?"

Harry's eyes widened as he saw images flash before him of Hermione screaming, Ron falling backwards into nothingness, Mrs Weasley crying for her children, his parents disappearing into the flashing green light and...Snape being tortured at the feet of Voldemort himself, gushing blood from his forehead as he tried to reach his wand but it was out of grasp.

Harry could only sit paralyzed while Voldemort laughed and hundreds of echoing screams faded away the images, leaving them alone again in the darkened stone surroundings that was also similar to the forest at night.

"You could have saved them" Voldemort said. "If I had been able to kill you as a baby...they would never suffer because of you. Pity'.

"N-no" Harry choked, trying to be brave but the scenery changed again as he saw himself staring into the mirror as it showed his parents only they were not happy to see him. As he watched, he heard voices...familiar voices.

"I think it is clear, that we should expect great things from you, Mr Potter" Ollivander told him. "After all, he-who-must-not-be-named did great things...terrible! Yes, but great'.

"I'm not going to be like him" Harry whispered, lowering his gaze but his parents just shook their heads disapprovingly.

"Are you sure?" The sorting hat asked him and Harry saw his parents gone and instead it was a younger version of himself as he sat on the stool to await being sorted even though his robes had the Slytherin crest and colours there. "You could be great you know, it's all here...in your head. And Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness! There's no doubt about that'.

"No, I'm in Gryffindor!" Harry tried to tell at it. "I'm a Gryffindor!"

"But it's all here, in your head Potter" The hat told him. "Are you sure? Slytherin is where you will make your real friends'.

"I already have friends" Harry argued.

"And your father?" The hat wondered while a vague and distant image of Snape was seen sitting at the staff table behind where he was sitting on the stool. "He's in Slytherin'.

"So? Dad loves me" Harry said although he didn't feel in control of his words.

"Useless brat!" Snape hissed as Harry was now sitting in the potions classroom, enduring a smoking potion and furious Snape. "Incompetent Gryffindor, just like James!"

"That man cannot love" The hat mocked. "Perhaps if you were Slytherin..."

"No, I'm a Gryffindor" Harry said softly, more weakly while Snape continued to rant about how terrible he was, now arrogant he could be, how he was just like James...nothing but a waste of time and space.

"Dad?" Harry stepped closer. "You wouldn't leave me, would you?"

"What?" Snape turned on him, his expression livid and tone not much better. "Ha! Poor Potter, afraid of being alone?" He spat. "Who would want you? You're nothing but trouble! People keep dying because of you!"

"But..." Harry felt his head spinning and the sounds mixed with swirling images until with a sudden jerk, it all went black...

-- 

Actually it was white. As Harry sat in his bed and raised a hand to shield himself from the rising sun, he felt terrible. Tears were soaking his cheeks and pillow, his hands were sore from clenching and his forehead throbbed. Sitting there for a minute or so, he came to realize that no matter how real it had felt or how his forehead had truly hurt during it...he convinced himself that it was just a nightmare and he was awake now.

But he felt doubtful or if there was any truth in it all. Tempted to call out for his newfound father, Harry was torn between acting like a baby and making the man angry for waking him.

It was one of the most frightening dreams he had ever endured and the darkness of it, the hateful tones, the deafening screaming of those he loved...it caused Harry to shake in fear and more tears began to fall.

"No, it was just a dream" Harry squeezed his eyes shut but the images returned, the blood flowing from his father's face, the screaming of Hermione and Ron...the hat threatening to put him in Slytherin so his father would actually care about him. The snarling of Snape about how he got everyone killed and no one wanted him, not really. Unable to handle it, Harry clenched more of his sheets and lifted his knees to rest his chin on them while trying to remain strong and just get over it since it had only been a nightmare.

He was scared...no he was terrified and hurt, as though it had been real and Voldemort snarled about how everyone was going to die, how it would be all his fault and there was nothing he could do to truly make his father love him. Not that it mattered since he was going to die too.

Closing his eyes deeper, Harry felt a pull in his mind as though something was trying to bring him back into the darkened place of his nightmare and fear grabbed his entire being, causing him to feel like a trapped child. Not really deciding anything, but feeling too desperate to do anything else...Harry did the first thing that came to mind;

"DADDY!" He cried out as loud as he could while struggling to calm his breathing and force the horrors away.

Snape had heard him of course. The abnormal shout caused him to fall sideways off his bed but he wasted no time, grabbing his wand and transfigured his clothes to search out the threat before his mind woke enough to register that Harry had just called out “daddy” except James wasn't here. Oh...that now meant him.

"Harry?" Snape gasped and rushed from his room and into the boy's seeing him in a terrified state, flushed while with fear and sweat. He was curled upright and shaking; it scared Snape.

"Harry?" He asked again and lowered his wand to check that the boy was okay. But the moment he was close enough to the bed, Harry jumped forward and clung to him, burying his face into his robes as though he wanted them to swallow him in warmth and comfort.

Snape was startled and stared down at the sobbing boy, not understanding what had happened but checked to ensure that nothing had been broken such as his wards and that there was no possibility of a lingering threat. Calming in the smallest measurements, Snape put his wand away and wrapped an arm around Harry.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Snape wondered, his voice softer than he had intended but scowled at how naturally it had come to him when he saw the boy in such a state.

"Horr-ible" Harry choked out from where he was buried against his father. "Make them go away."

"Them?" Snape repeated and looked around but could not see anyone nor had his wards detected another presence.

"Screaming" Harry gulped. "Blood. You hate me."

Snape tried to work out the link between those three words but found that he could not. Instead he swallowed and rolled his eyes skyward while wrapped both arms around the boy and pulling him closer, not that there was much distance left between them since Harry had lunged at him as his only source of protection.

"I do not hate you" He told him.

"Not even because I'm a Gryffindor?" Harry seemed to have ceased crying at least but his voice still sounded tortured and forced.

"Your mother was in Gryffindor" Snape reminded him. "I did not hate her either'. No, said a voice in his head at that non-committal comment, You love her! Do you love the boy? Your new son? Surely if you do than you should tell him?

Snape ignored the voice and lifted Harry's chin with one hand, wincing visibly when he saw the pain in those emerald eyes.

"A nightmare put you in this pitiful state, Harry?" He asked, growling at his own choice of words.

"Sorry" Harry pulled back lightly but was unwilling to actually release him. "I...I was just...it scared me and there was this....this pull."

Snape was in instant alert at those words. "A pull? Describe it."

"I don't know! It felt like someone was trying to pull my mind back into that...that place" Harry whimpered and hugged close again.

Snape did not like the sound of that at all. Especially if whatever “that place” was it had caused the twelve-year-old boy who had faced Voldemort twice and lived, turn into a sobbing five-year-old after a single nightmare. If he recalled, there were several nightmares Harry had been through and none had concluded with this type of reaction.

"Sorry" Harry said again as he swallowed and flushed with embarrassment.

"Do not apologize" Snape answered. "It is within my duty to come running like a house-elf on fire whenever you require" He said bitterly, unaware of the image Harry conjured at his words that caused him to snigger lightly.

"Really?" The boy smiled up at him.

"Unfortunately" Snape sighed. "Get dressed and meet me downstairs in ten minutes" He instructed, quickly pulling away to catch Harry unprepared which effectively meant he could not grab at him again.

"No, don't leave me!" Harry scurried off the bed when Snape turned to leave the room.

"I will be downstairs" Snape said. "You are safe. Now stop dawdling and get dressed. I expect you presentable in ten minutes."

Harry stood there nervously when Snape left. Hopping from foot to foot and biting his lip, he inhaled and then rushed to remove his pajamas. Throwing on the first pair of pants and shirt he found, Harry rushed out of his room and downstairs.

"Presentable, Potter" Snape sighed and flicked his wand to dry Harry's flushed face and messed hair. He then hovered a potion over to the boy and turned to prepare breakfast.

"What is this?" Harry wondered, eying the potion warily.

"Calming drought" Snape answered over his shoulder.

Harry took the potion and winced only slightly as he swallowed. Placing the vial on the table, he sat down in a chair to watch Snape cook while entwining his thumbs together nervously.

"You really don't hate me because I'm in Gryffindor?" Harry checked.

"That is what your nightmare was about?" Snape asked, still without turning mostly to conceal his concerned expression. "How disappointing."

"No, it was about Voldemort killing everyone I care about...because of me" Harry sighed but quickly returned to his original question. "But you don't hate me?"

Sighing in annoyance, Snape turned and approached Harry, placing a hand on each shoulders as he stared at him while still trying to avoid those emerald eyes.

"Harry. I do not hate you" Snape said slowly and clearly. "It would take more than where you were sorted for me to loathe you. No matter our differences in the past...and to this painfully bright day; I. Do. Not. Hate. You" And with that he pulled away.

"Oh" Harry stared at him and sighed, feeling some relief flood inside him. "Good. I uh, don't hate you either...just so you know."

"Yes, I was terribly concerned" Snape said sarcastically while shaking his head and trying to contain yet another eye roll even though his back was to Harry again.

"I don't want you to die" Harry muttered softly but Snape had overheard him.

"I do not fancy death, myself" Snape said, ignoring the seriousness of the conversation that Harry was trying to create. He knew the boy would take a little time to fully recover from his nightmare and for his head to level with reality again.

"If something happens to me, will you promise to leave me?" Harry asked and Snape hesitated at that. "I mean, you won't die trying to help me or anything."

"That is not your decision to make" Snape snarled as he glance at the boy. "I will never promise something so foolish."

"It would be foolish to die for someone else" Harry frowned.

"It would be further foolish to die for nothing" Snape countered while avoiding eye contact and left Harry sitting there silently for a moment, wondering.

"But it'll be my fault!" Harry snapped angrily and stood up. "You have to promise that if I'm in danger you won't die for me!"

Snape turned around again, so suddenly Harry tripped on his chair slightly as he took a startled step backwards. He ignored the fact that Harry seemed to think the only outcomes to be death rather than being saved or for victory.

"Would you push me in front of the killing curse, Potter?" Snape growled.

"What?" Harry asked, shocked. "No!"

"So you would force poison down my throat?"

"No!" Harry snapped again. "What-"

"You would send a savage beast to slaughter me?" Snape asked again, taking a step closer.

"NO!" Harry roared.

"Then I cannot possibly see how my death could be your fault" Snape crossed his arms, perfectly calm and composed once again with a mildly sly look on his face.

Harry opened his mouth to retort but hesitated to realize what Snape had just said. It was true though...that he wasn't exactly responsible unless he did those things.

"But...still, I...you would be dying to save me so it would be because of me that you die" He muttered quickly.

"Than I welcome death" Snape answered.

"What?" Harry frowned. "How could you say that?"

"Potter! Use your mind!" Snape grabbed him by the collar in frustration. "It would be my decision if I chose to foolishly prevent your death. I welcome death if it is the only alternative to prevent further harm upon you" He said.

"I would much rather throw my life away like some sentimental fool as opposed to yours being wasted for nothing more than the Dark Lord's sickening desire for power."

Harry stared at Snape and was unable to say anything while he thought on everything the man just said to him. After several minutes, he voiced the only thing that he felt was suitable in the air of silence.

"Why?" Harry whispered. "Why would someone do that?"

"I am certain that you would for your friends?" Snape asked.

"Well, yeah but..." Harry frowned. "But why would you? And my parents...I mean they barely knew me."

"They loved you" Snape sighed. "People die for those they love."

"Oh" Harry already knew that. "So...you love me?" He asked, biting his lip while staring at the unmoving form of Snape who was deliberately avoiding turning around to face him.

"I do not hate you" Snape answered instead. "Nor do I not wish death or harm upon you, Harry. Leave it at that."

They ate breakfast in silence and then retreated to the living room where Harry detailed some of his nightmare to Snape. They discussed it and the man even hugged the boy after to offer comfort (although Harry thought he was in pain since Snape had grimaced before he did so), and than they set about preparing to return to Hogwarts.

--

After flooing back to Snape's quarters within the castle, Harry prepared to leave but paused in the doorway and dropped his things, running back to hug Snape warmly before leaving since he was afraid that he would never get the chance to hug him again or else things would chance once more with the return to school.

"Harry?" Snape called out when the boy was about to leave.

"Yes?" He turned and looked at him but there was silence for a moment and Snape sighed. For a moment Harry thought he was going to say something but changed his mind and answered differently.

"Our sessions still proceed as normal" Snape told him. "I will not tolerate tardiness. Be here seven sharp."

"Okay" Harry nodded and walked away, dragging his trunk with him to settle back inside his Gryffindor dormitory and wait for his friends to return although a few others had come back the day before.

"How was your Christmas, Harry?" Dean asked from where he was adding a new poster to his wall.

"Oh" Harry glanced up, smiling fondly as he remembered his Christmas duration with Snape, the good and bad things they had endured but managed to survive through and strength their forming bond. There was how Snape clearly didn't hate him and he may even want to adopt him as his legal and blood-link son one day. How they had moved on from insults to hugs and casual “family” moments he'd only previously dreamed of.

"Um, it was alright" He shrugged lightly towards his roommate to throw off suspicion and no matter how non-committal his shrug and comment had been...the smile remained.

"Harry!" Hermione grinned as she spotted him and he was forced to bookmark the page and put it down with a sigh, but smiled up at his two best friends anyway.

"Hey" He shrugged and noticed Ron eying the book with interest.

"We found him reading, how long have you been stuck here Harry?" Ron joked.

"It was a present" Harry answered. "Besides, it's really interesting."

"A present?" Hermione raised her eyebrows and glanced around but everyone was going about their own business, not that there were very many people around though. "From...him?"

"Yeah" Harry nodded. "But that's not just why I like it."

"Bloody hell, Harry" Ron shook his head, still in shock over who Harry was considering his parent and how naturally it was becoming for them to think of Snape like that.

"So how was your Christmas?" Harry asked Hermione and the boys sat down to listen in mild interest until she was finished and then they conversed about random things and it wasn't until time for dinner that they left the common room and headed down to the Great Hall.

---

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table and found himself only mildly missing Snape's house. It had been cramped, quiet, dark and not entirely as warm as Hogwarts was, but perhaps it was how he could talk to Snape without worrying about everyone else. It had been his best Christmas ever, even with the troubles and issues they'd stumbled into, or rather he had created. But all the same, it felt just as Harry imagined a new home would feel. But that thought caused him to hesitated...was he thinking of Snape's home as his own? That couldn't be right, sure he'd let him stay for Christmas to avoid going to the Dursleys and sure there was hugging and comfort involved, he had even suggested blood adoption some day...but that didn't mean he had invited Harry to stay with him, not permanently. And things were still rocky between them, why did Harry just think of that place as “home”? He felt a small tingling sensation spread over him and it only lasted a few seconds but he didn't think it was because the idea of living with Snape was more appealing than living with the Dursleys.

"You alright, mate?" Ron asked, noticing that Harry hadn't touched his food and also had a strange look on his face.

Harry didn't answer his friend but looked over towards the staff table. He saw Snape sitting there, eating while trying to ignore McGonagall scowling at him (or so it appeared), Dumbledore had just left his chair and wandered out a back door while two other chairs remained empty.

He pulled his gaze away and stared at his plate, feeling the sensation again but it had come more suddenly and with a sharper sense to it, causing him to jump to his feet in alarm.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, turning to look at him just as many others had.

"I...I gotta go" Harry blushed at drawing attention to himself but had a bad feeling about the further tingling and how he felt mildly dizzy as well. Had he eaten something? Had there been something in his drink? No surely, he hadn't had anything yet.

Rushing out of the Great Hall and ignoring the calls of his friends or murmuring of the other students, Harry ran up stairs and around corners, only focusing on his destination while trying to figure out what was going on and why he was reacting so worriedly, as though somehow he knew this was something urgent.

---

Breathing in relief, he skid to a stop outside the hospital wing and called for Madam Pomfry.

"Potter?" She asked when she spotted him and Harry was relieved that no one else was around. "What have you managed to break this time?"

"I don't know, I feel weird" Harry said, not being able to think of any other way to explain it. "Like something is happening, it's a tingling feeling and keeps spreading. My head hurts too" He rushed but somehow she had managed to catch his words and looked rather concerned with them.

"Very well, sit down and I'll have a look" She said, brushing him over to a bed. She pulled out her wand and did a few spells, just as Dumbledore and Snape arrived.

"There you are, Potter!" Snape scowled, annoyed that the boy had rushed from the Great Hall suddenly and then Dumbledore made a point of getting his attention and they followed the boy here.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Dumbledore asked but everyone in the room had a feeling that the headmaster already knew what was going on.

Harry opened his mouth to answer but Pomfry moved in front of him and explained her findings to Dumbledore, which were basically a more specific version of what he had felt.

"Yes, I feared as much" Dumbledore nodded.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, now nervous if Dumbledore was worried.

"Harry, what were you thinking when you sat in the Great Hall?" Dumbledore asked and Snape glanced at the man as though he was losing his mind.

"I...why?" Harry frowned, blushing slightly as he had no intention of voicing his thoughts...especially in front of Snape; his new father.

"I assure you, it is of utmost importance" Dumbledore said. "Please, Harry...were you thinking of the Dursleys perhaps?"

"Um, sort of" Harry shrugged. "I was just...I..." He ducked his head and sighed, since Dumbledore thought it was important he really had no choice but to say it. Although the tingling sensation had started then...how strange.

"I was thinking about living with my new father, okay?" He ground out.

"New father?" Pomfry gasped. "But Harry, what...?"

"Please Poppy, I will speak with you in a moment" Dumbledore said and while she scowled in annoyance, the nurse still turned and headed into her office.

"Idiot boy" Snape growled. "Do you not realize the consequences of what you have so foolishly done?"

"What?" Harry frowned at those sharper words. "What I have...I didn't do anything!" He said loudly. "I was just thinking about it would be nice and...then I felt weird."

"Yes, I'm afraid that what you felt was the failing of your blood wards, Harry" Dumbledore sighed.

"My...what?" Harry frowned.

"You did not tell him, headmaster?" Snape now transfered his annoyance and blame to the old man.

Dumbledore chose to ignore Snape for the time being and instead answered Harry's confusion.

"When Voldemort killed your parents, Harry" He began. "I placed you on the doorstep of the Dursley's home because they were your only living relatives and for as long as you consider Privet Drive as your home then you would be safe from Voldemort or his followers, should they come looking for you there. The wards would be unbreakable to anyone with less-kinder intents."

"Oh" Harry frowned, now also wondering why they never told him that, although it made some sense to him until it dawned on him why Snape had been so furious. "But since I was thinking about somewhere else as home...the wards failed?"

"As it would seem" Dumbledore nodded. "And it is more complex then simply considering another place as home, but you would need to entirely no longer consider the Dursley's house as your home."

"But I wasn't..." Harry thought about what Dumbledore had said and felt a bit guilty although honestly he had no idea of such wards or protection, nor did he know that a simply wishful thought would lead to the downfall of those wards.

"Can the wards be replaced, headmaster?" Snape's words snapped Harry out of his guilt and he looked up again, frowning as it sounded as though Snape was determined to send Harry back to the Dursleys. Perhaps he had been too hopeful before? Maybe he was taking things the wrong way and over-expecting his future once again. Stupidly, he had once again been fooled into thinking he could have the happiness and family he had wanted. Even the thoughts of blood adoption slipped from his mind.

"Possibly" Dumbledore sighed. "But is unlikely to be as powerful as before now that they have been broken" He looked over at Harry, misunderstanding the miserable look upon his face.

"The fault is not yours, of course. Perhaps I should have informed you" He said but Harry merely shrugged, causing Snape to narrow his eyes suspiciously.

"We will discuss this further once you've had some rest, Harry" Dumbledore said and turned to leave. "Severus?"

Snape glanced over at his name and nodded but paused in the doorway, wondering why Harry was looking so miserable. Perhaps he had wanted to return to those muggles? No, surely not from what he had heard of them so far. Then what else could be bothering the boy? No matter, the headmaster obviously wanted to talk to him and manipulate him into doing something he would much rather not, so Snape turned and followed after the old man.

---

They entered Dumbledore's office and sat across from each other with the desk between them. Snape waited for the man to speak as he wasn't entirely sure what they were to be discussing although Harry's protection was surely of great importance.

"I recall our previous discussion involving the possibility of Voldemort attempting to penetrate Harry's mind while he was sleeping?" Dumbledore asked, ignoring Snape's slight flinch to the name.

"Yes" Snape answered even though there was no question in the sentence. "You suggested I teach the boy to Occlude, I declined."

"Perhaps an unwise decision" Dumbledore frowned slightly. "However, taking these new events into account...Harry is in even more danger than before. Perhaps you ought to reconsider?" Dumbledore said but Snape did not answer so he continued.

"The boy cares for you, Severus, nothing else could have caused him to disregard where his home was so dramatically after mere days. You also mentioned the possibility of blood adopting the boy in the future? If anything, I am certain that you have come to care greatly for the boy yourself."

Snape narrowed his eyes as he did not like where this was going. "What is your point, old man?" He asked in annoyance.

"Blood adoption would strengthen new blood wards, therefore making Harry further protected in the case of-"

"No" Snape interrupted. "I do not believe that either myself or Potter are quite ready to proceed with that course of action at this point. We have even agree to take our time with this...arrangement" He said firmly.

"In addition to such an agreement, it would be unwise to place those wards upon my home. I am still a spy which places myself and the boy in constant danger upon threat. He would hardly be further protected. Allow the boy to stay at Hogwarts or with the Weasleys during the summer."

"I refuse to shift the danger to the Weasleys; they have enough worries on their own without adding such measures into the mix" Dumbledore sighed. "Also Hogwarts had a breach of security during holidays since the incident with Voldemort many months ago...Harry would not even be safe here. There is no other option, Severus."

"I refuse to partake in this discussion any further" Snape got to his feet. "I will not rush this newfound predicament with Harry by applying the blood adoption prematurely. It could also terminate my position as a spy and my services are still required. Find another way" He said and turned to leave, further surprised by the fact that Dumbledore made no efforts to stop him. Even as he left the staircase, Snape still had a feeling that he hadn't won yet.

Ron and Hermione glanced at each other and then towards where Harry was sitting in front of the fire in their common room. He hadn't said so much of a word since he had told them about his failed blood wards nearly an hour ago. Ron settled to eating chocolate frogs and reading the cards while Hermione did homework. Harry did nothing but stare into the fire with a thoughtful decision as though he was seeing flames for the first time.

"Harry?" Hermione dropped her Charms book to her lap and stared at him, trying to pull him from his trance for just a moment. He barely shrugged. "Is everything alright?"

Ron muttered something like “yeah right” but looked as concerned as Hermione did when Harry tore his gaze from the fire to glance at them.

"I think so" Harry sighed and straightened in the sofa, yawning as though he'd just woken up from a long slumber. "I just can't stop thinking...you know? What could have been."

"What do you mean?" Hermione encouraged, surprised but pleased that he was talking to them.

Harry sighed. "I just meant if he actually wanted me..." He shrugged but hoped they wouldn't pity him or anything. He didn't even know why he was talking about it and in the common room, no less.

"Forget it" Harry stood before they could say anything; he's already seen the look on their faces and didn't want to hear Hermione say how surely he wanted him or Ron mutter about Snape being a git.

Harry headed up to the dormitory and lay on his bed, flipping open his treasured and interesting book once again to drown out his thoughts.

---

The hours passed and Harry lay on his side, his eyes closed while faking sleep when Ron and the other boys headed to bed. Not wanting to talk to them or earn weird looks in his direction, Harry remained there for several more minutes even after the snores began and the room otherwise fell silent.

Sighing, Harry rolled onto his back and stared upwards, not sure why it was effecting him so greatly if Snape didn't want him, but he kept thinking back to their Christmas and how he had mentioned wanting to adopt him as his son. Either he hadn't meant it, wants to take it back or...what was the other option?

Scowling, Harry couldn't take it anymore. He got up and carefully gathered his invisibility cloak before sneaking out of the dormitory and the common room which was surprisingly entirely empty.

He had considered confronting Snape but knew it probably wasn't a good idea, also adding in the fact that he was out after curfew. Instead he arrived at the library and while avoiding the restricted section (no need for a repeat of the previous year), he wandered over to where he was sure the required books would be. Placing his cloak in reach, Harry withdrew several books and carefully scanned them while keeping his ears perked for any sound. He finally found the book he wanted and sat down to read with the aid of the moonlight coming in through a high window. With one last glance around, he lowered his gaze and began to read.

At first there was information he already knew such as the fact that the potion was complex, rarely administered and discovered by Valar Buckter in the late 1400's. As effective as blood adoption although it's more specific to bondage, so surely that would mean it was in a way stronger than blood adoption? It could only be used to bond a single parent to an orphaned or otherwise parent-less child. Only one child for that adult via that method.

Harry frowned as he continued to read. It was clear that this potion wasn't alike a blood adoption at all, in fact it was as though the adult had been the child's parent from the very beginning.

The part that caught his attention was the single line “For this potion to work correctly, a pre-existing bond much be in place between the intended pair”. Harry wasn't sure what to think of that, but still he pondered on it longer before allowing himself to keep reading but it just went into the specifics and other things Harry wasn't really absorbing. Instead he replaces the book and researches the incident in which Valar Buckter discovered the potion.

Within minutes he had come across it but was further anxious since Filch had not yet found him, as it would seem and the library was still abnormally quiet.

Harry was expecting some great story of discovery or experiments but instead came across a tale of a lonely man who had found a young child out in the snow and tried to care for him. The child was sick and emotionally devastated from the loss of his mother who had been killed by a dark wizard two weeks previous and his father had died when he was a child. But Valar knew none of this and merely tried to help the child mostly out of loneliness and guilt for not being able to save his toddler daughter five years ago.

Harry continued to read about their developing bond and how a distant friend of a now-dead relative wanted to take the boy from him and he fell into a desperate obsession to make them think the boy was his own son to protect him. He eventually produced the Parental Bonding Potion and success followed, yadda yadda.

Harry was furthermore confused as to why of all potions, this was the one Snape wanted to one day administer. Of course maybe it was because of the fact that the ministry etc did no need to be involved, or were there other reasons? Was Snape like Valar? Did he want to save him from being taken away or to achieve a child he so badly wants because he had missed out before? It was confusing and certainly not clearing up any befuddlement in Harry's mind upon the situation, recent or otherwise.

Glancing around at the suspiciously quiet library, Harry replaced the book and gathered his cloak. His new father often referred to it as “Gryffindor tendencies” but Harry was beyond caring about getting into trouble or if it was the right thing to do. He wanted answers and he was going to get them.

---

He was halfway down to the dungeons when he started having second thoughts. But Harry was left no time to ponder as he felt the change in temperature and how everything darkened, plus there were voices ahead. He noticed Snape's voice right away and feared discovery but when he stepped closer he realized his father was talking to someone else.

"I am certain Albus will find a way" Snape crossed his arms and sighed. "I personally detest the entire idea...it is premature and has the potential to ruin all progress up until this point."

"Perhaps" Synthia nodded while wiping a cloth over a silver object she had brought with her to keep her hands busy. "Severus, would I be wrong in frowning upon the fact that you have discussed this with Albus and myself and yet not the boy?"

"I hardly consider anything involving Albus to be a discussion" Snape narrowed his eyes.

"And the boy?" She pressed while Harry tried to inch closer but lost his balance enough to cause a small sound. Wincing and attempting to turn away before breaking into a run, Harry was not too surprised when Snape appeared and glared down at him.

"Eavesdropping are we, Potter?" He scowled.

"I..." Harry swallowed and remembered why he was there. "I wanted to talk to you."

"And instead of calmly announcing your presence, you felt it would be more prudent and satisfying to eavesdrop?" Snape crossed his arms.

"Okay, I shall be going now" Synthia sighed as she approached the boys, giving Harry an extra look of curiosity. "Play nicely" She added with a small tease and walked away.

Harry wondered who that woman was, but had little time to consider the possibilities when Snape's shadow loomed over him and he glanced up to wince. He exhaled and reminded himself why he was there and gathered as much courage as he could.

"Come" Snape said and turned, leading Harry into his office and shut the door firmly. "Speak."

"Huh?" Harry glanced at him in surprise.

"You stated that you wished to talk with me" Snape said in obvious agitated. "Speak."

"Oh um, I..." Harry stuttered, now not sure how to word his issue and felt rather embarrassed to be there in Snape's office now that his anger had ebbed away.

Sighing, Snape sat in his chair and waited for the boy to gather himself. He had to remember that things were different now and that he couldn't vent his frustration towards Dumbledore upon his...son.

Those few minutes of silence was apparently all Harry needed. "Sir, I...I was just wondering why, I mean if something..." Harry ducked his head and inhaled nervously, deciding to just get it out.

"I'm sorry for intruding" He mumbled but Snape heard him clearly while trying to decipher what the boy was babbling about. "I thought things were different and I got my hopes up, that's why the wards failed" Harry said.

"What are you muttering about, Potter?" Snape frowned when he couldn't form an understanding as to what the boy was trying to say.

Harry glanced up for a second but found he was still unable to look at the man in the eye, especially with the scowl that was on his face as he stared at him from behind his desk.

"I shouldn't have got my hopes up so soon, I mean just because there was Christmas and the possibility of the...well, I'm not out in the snow and so we can take time and..." He winced inwardly, knowing he wasn't making any sense at all.

"In the snow?" Snape repeated, wondering how that sounded familiar in comparison to what Harry was saying. "Harry" He sighed again and looked at the blushing boy. "I expect you to look at me whilst I am speaking."

"I can't" Harry mumbled but looked up anyway, not liking the tone the man was using.

"You wished to discuss something of importance with me" Snape said slowly. "Than sit. Think for a moment and than form a coherent sentence in which I can actually formulate a discussion from" He said, showing surprising patience and tolerance, although he could see this meant something to the boy and with the mentioning of the wards, he had to find out what was going on.

But even after Harry sat across from him and thought, the silence remained and Snape realized they would be there all night if he did not assist the situation.

"First, I wish you to explain what you were implying with the snow" Snape said, picking something random and easy enough to start with.

"I was just...reading" Harry shrugged and seemed somewhat relaxed to talk about that although wondered if Snape would figure out that he had done something wrong to achieve such reading.

"I was curious!" He insisted as though he was in trouble regardless. "Just, Valar...the guy that invented that potion, he found a kid in the snow who was sick and he was feeling guilty about losing his daughter and so he took the boy in cared for him. He didn't want to lose him and tried to make everyone think that the boy was his own son so he could...keep him safe and...well that's how to invented the potion" He blushed, feeling a bit like Hermione.

"I was just...comparing" He added.

Snape raised his eyebrows in surprise. He honestly hadn't expected Harry to research the potion in which would bond them as father and son in 90% aspect of the word. He considered the phrase in which Harry had used the comparison and than things made more sense.

“I shouldn't have got my hopes up so soon, I mean just because there was Christmas and the possibility of the...well, I'm not out in the snow and so we can take time and...”

"Harry, it is my understanding that you are not well informed to the situation" Snape said and Harry looked over in surprise. "But before we discuss that matter, I wish to know what you were implying about the wards."

"Oh um, just that you wanted me back with the Dursleys..." Harry admitted before allowing himself time to ponder. "I just thought, you know? You'd understand" He shrugged.

"I despise the very idea of you returning to the household" Snape frowned. "I am well aware of the fact that they mistreated you there. My statement earlier was merely in curiosity towards your safety."

"Oh" Harry was surprised by that and felt further embarrassed.

Snape stared at the boy for a moment as Harry blushed and stared at his hands that were resting on his lap. He thought about what the boy had said and the assumptions he had obviously been misguided to believe based on a simple, misinterpreted reaction. He had thought that he didn't want him as much or that he still preferred him to stay with the Dursleys than with him. Perhaps once-upon-a-previous-time that may have been true.

"Harry" Snape said in a softer tone, causing the boy to look up although he appeared reluctant about it. "I wish to make myself clear. Regardless of our previous history or events that occurred prior to your absurd and inconvenient request, I feel that I must reassure you that I do not regret nor do I wish otherwise of our situation" Snape said, frowning as he tried to work out how to word what he was saying.

"You are my...son, just as I am your father" Snape continued. "Perhaps not yet by blood, but when the time is right - and only when the time is right - that shall also be placed into effect. The potion is yet to be administered not because I want you any less but merely because I am taking your well-being into consideration and wish to delay the process until I am certain that we are both entirely prepared for such an incident."

Harry stared at him in surprise but a small smile was tugging at his lips, causing Snape to exhale and finish what he was trying to say.

"I shall deny any doubt you have upon our situation" Snape said. "You are my son now, however extremely we have established that fact. I care only for your safety, education and...contentment" He said stiffly.

"You...care about me?" Harry asked softly.

"However you wish to phrase it" Snape nodded. "Yes."

Harry ducked his head again and hid his smile as well as small tears to hearing that someone actually cared about him.

"Thanks" He managed to mumble.

"Indeed" Snape answered. "Now I believe I will be forced to cost Gryffindor further house points if you do not make your way to your dormitory seeing as it is well after curfew" He said and stood.

Harry looked up in surprise, accidentally exposing his tearful eyes as he had not realized how late it had become.

"Right, I'll go...thanks...sorry" He said quickly and turned to leave.

"Harry" Snape's voice made his pause and the man approached him slowly, as though he was waiting for something.

"Sir?" Harry glanced up.

"Sleep well" Snape said and clenched his teeth as he reached to the boy and pulled him in for a quick hug, in which resulted in the smaller arms being wrapped around him while the boy buried his head against his robes.

"You too" Harry said and pulled away but once again paused at the doorway. "I really care about you too...just so you know. I'm glad I asked you and that you accepted. Thanks."

And with that that the boy was gone.

Snape frowned and returned to his desk, sitting down as he felt strange, as though he'd swallowed an incomplete potion that now bubbled inside of him. He couldn't figure it out, but that odd feeling the boy had left him with didn't hurt or feel cold, but rather it had the complete opposite effect on him. When had he last felt that feeling? It had been so very long ago...ah, of course. Lily.

Harry slept well that night although he had a strange dream about being lost in the snow and not being able to find his way back to Hogwarts. He awoke the following morning and made his way down to breakfast with his friends. Everything seemed to be going normally and without much change in mood until later that afternoon when Hermione had left for the Library and Ron decided to challenge Dean into a chess match. Harry could have joined either of them but instead went upstairs to the dormitory and flipped through the photo album Hagrid had given him at the end of his last year. He sat there and wondered if his parents would be disappointed or pleased with his decision to seek out a new father or if James Potter would feel betrayed. He refused to think further on that and just continued to stare at the moving pictures while trying to force his mind to not think of anything at all. But of course, that was nearly impossible; one couldn't just stop thinking.

Harry recalled how wonderful his Christmas was and how in a relatively short time he and Snape had gone from enemies to family. And the man had even wanted to adoption him as his real, official son. He had mentioned something about waiting until the moment was right and even though he'd had his concerned settled and questions answered the previous night, Harry somehow still managed to come up with new ones. When was the right moment? Would he really never have to return to the Dursleys? What happens if Snape decides that he doesn't want him anymore? If he really becomes his son, will he look any different?

Harry scowled at his mind and shut the book with a sigh. He leaned back on his bed, still dressed in his school uniform although his tie was undone and his shirt untucked. He stared upwards and considered how lucky he felt to have Snape now, even though last year he would have marked himself as insane for such thoughts. Although Snape hadn't been too nice to him last year and Harry wondered if the reasons for it still lingered even though he didn't seem to hate him as much anymore.

He sat upright with a frown set on his face and pondered that line of curiosity. Perhaps things were not quite perfect just yet, maybe there was still something to be improved? If the moment wasn't right then Snape might be having doubts on their family status in the long run? Maybe he wanted to make sure that Harry was the son he really wanted since being a father is a big thing.

Harry wondered what made a good son. And factoring in the fact that Snape was a teacher as well...so perhaps if he was really good with his classes (or maybe just Potions), well-behaved (as though that was actually possible for him) and was more alike Snape? Suddenly the image of himself with long, black and greasy hair as well as all-black clothing formed into Harry's mind and made him shudder. Well not exactly like Snape, but some more similarities?

He had made up his mind. Jumping off the bed, Harry scurried to gather some things and left the dormitory.

'Where you going, mate?' Ron asked him curiously.

'Library' Harry barely threw over his shoulder as he disappeared out of the common room and down the stairs. In a few rushed minutes and while gasping for breath, Harry arrived at the library and looked around for his friend.

'Harry!' Hermione said in surprise. 'What are you doing here?' She spotted the books in his arms. 'Are you...studying?'

'Yeah' Harry nodded. 'I want to do really good in some classes because...well I dunno, can't hurt' He shrugged.

'Oh this is great!' Hermione grinned. 'Do you need any help?'

'Um, not sure yet' He placed his things across from where she had been sitting and sorted through his work. Although maybe if Snape noticed that he no longer needed their study sessions he'll be proud that he's not so much of a burden to his time? Although Harry had grown rather fond of those session and wondered if there was any other time eh could see his new father. But he'll dwell on that later.

'You're already good at potions' Hermione observed. 'Maybe you should focus on History of Magic first?'

Harry frowned at her but sighed and grabbed the book. 'Sure, but I really want to read my potions textbook'.

'Well then read it before bed, like I do' Hermione offered and he thought that sounded like a reasonable idea since he had a little trouble sleeping sometimes anyway.

--

And so the two friends worked in mostly silence (unless Harry had to ask her help for a few things or got frustrated and how confusing a section was), until it was time to pack up and head down to dinner. They left their things in their separate dormitories and searched for Ron to head to the Great Hall.

'Slow down, Harry!' Hermione said as he shoveled more food into his mouth.

'Can't-got to...read' He said between chews and some girls pulled faces at his manners while a few boys sniggered. Harry finally finished and stood in relief, eager to head back to the common room to read. He glanced over at the staff table and searched for Snape and spotted him staring back at him with a raised eyebrow, no doubt suspicious in his hurry to leave dinner early.

Harry turned and left the Great Hall without another moment to spare and startled the fat lady when he called out the password between breaths. After he had showed and changed, Harry sat on his bed and pulled out his potions textbook to start reading. After ten minutes his motivation ebbed away and his interested faded. He didn't understand how Hermione could read all of her textbooks during her holidays and still be bothered to do so again until she had them memorized. But his determination remained strong and he forced himself to keep reading and not just gaze over the words but actually pay attention.

Several days passed by and still Harry read every night although he often fell asleep and would be a bit drowsy the following day. He had two sessions with Snape but didn't reveal anything and continued to act as though nothing had changed because he wanted to surprise the man with his marks instead.

He is to attend one of those sessions in an hour and was a bit concerned since he had no work to do and was sure everything was satisfactory to hand in. He had acquired two more books in which he borrowed from the library and had spent his time reading that after he had completed the basic textbook. Those books were much more interesting; the first detailed magical plants as well as their properties in potions and where they can be found, the second was on the effects of mixing certain ingredients together including the dangers and common accidents that turned into brilliant discoveries.

Harry collected his bag and made his way towards the dungeons, hoping he wasn't going to be in trouble for wasting the man's time when he had no work to do and was expecting to be sent back to the common room once Snape found out.

He knocked on the door and wanted to be let inside.

'You are early, Mr Potter' Snape said when Harry stepped inside following his request. Harry looked surprised and glanced at his watch to see that he was indeed ten minutes early.

'I guess I am' He shrugged and wasn't sure what else he could say.

'Very well' Snape nodded, not revealing the fact that he liked Harry being on time or that he was also suspicious involving the actions. 'Which subjects will we be covering tonight?' He sighed.

'Um, sir?' Harry ducked his head and blushed slightly. 'I ah, I don't really have any work to do'.

'Then you shall have no objections to my checking of such fact?' Snape raised an eyebrow.

Harry nodded and reached for his bag in which he had set on the desk but it slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor, spilling some of the contents.

'Sorry' He quickly bent to retrieve his things and first extracted his completed work to show the man before he worried about the other items.

'Here' He handed his work to the man but Snape was staring at the floor. Harry turned to see what he was so interested in and spotted his library books. 'Oh!' He dashed to shoved them back inside his bag along with his quills and textbooks but it was too late; Snape had seen them, without a doubt.

'As curious as I am to your obvious and yet newfound interest upon my subject, I must ask why you thought it prudent to conceal it from me?' Snape asked and wondered why Harry had tried to hide the books. Surely he wasn't thinking he'd be angered that the boy was so interested in potions or topics related to it? Not only was Snape good at Potions (obviously, being Potions Master), but it was one of Lily's best subjects as well.

'I didn't want you to know yet' Harry frowned at having been caught. 'Nevermind, but I'm finished, see?' He nodded towards the work in Snape's hands.

'Yes, clearly' Snape flipped through the work and hadn't expected to find that the work had certainly improved. 'Did you bribe Miss Granger to gather her assistance?' He asked suspiciously.

'Sir?' Harry asked in confusion.

'You improvement in your classes has been noticeable by not only myself but your other professors as well, Harry. However I do not believe that you could improve this vastly in such a short period of time. Unless something has changed?' He stared at the boy again.

Harry nodded and hid his smile when the man said his name; it always felt nice to not be referred to as “Mr Potter” all the time, especially by his new father. Although he always wondered if the adoption would cause that name to cease. Would he be Mr Snape then? He didn't quite like that idea.

'Harry?'

'Oh, um...yes sir' Harry quickly glanced up. 'Something did change, I mean I've just been spending more time in the library, that's all'

'And what inspired this?' Snape asked. 'Developing a little crush on Miss Granger, perhaps?'

'What?' Harry turned red and stared at his shoes. 'No, that's not it!' He insisted and Snape concealed his smirk of amusement to the boy's obvious discomfort. 'I just wanted to...I...does it really matter?' He then scowled. 'I'm studying more, so what?' He exhaled and calmed himself. 'What happens now? I mean, if I don't have work to do then this session is rather pointless, isn't it?'

'For studying, yes' Snape nodded and handed the work back to Harry. 'However, there are other way to occupy the time and remain with our agreement'.

'Sir?' Harry asked, surprised that the man wasn't just kicking him out for the night.

'Perhaps you could use this time to read more material for your classes?' Snape suggested. 'I see you have already done so with Potions, but what of the others?'

'I tried' Harry admitted as though it was something to be ashamed of. 'But they got boring after a while, well not the stuff on defenses used against dark arts and magical creatures, but really...potions is more interesting, not just because you teach it, although that's why I started reading, but I mean...' He sighed and tried to straighten out what he was trying to say. 'What I mean is, certain spells have to be done with a particular movement and phrase. If you do it wrong then the result is rather predictable. But with potions, it can change so quickly just because it's not hot enough or you put something in the wrong order. And there are so many things that can mix together fine until one extra makes the whole thing explode! I understand sir, why you like potions so much' He blushed again, feeling he was sounding too excited when really it wasn't something he had previously been so interested in.

Snape didn't say anything so Harry risked glancing up and was surprised to see the semi-stunned expression on the man's face. In any other situation it would have been quite hilarious.

'Sir?' He prompted.

Snape sighed and turned away from Harry. He wandered over to his desk and sat heavily in the chair there. 'Harry, I knew when I accepted to be your...father, that you would give me grief. It would be difficult for you not to, given who your biological father is and the fact that you're a Gryffindor' He shook his head while Harry watched in concern. 'But never did I imagine that you would actually deliver a piece of news or form a habit in which...'

'Are you angry with me?' Harry asked worriedly although he couldn't figure out what he had done if that was the case.

'Far from it' Snape glanced over. 'I am...proud. Although I fear your interest is misplaced'

'Misplaced?' Harry repeated. 'W-what do you mean?'

'You indicated that you first attempted to read material related to potions simply because it is the subject in which I teach. I don't deny that your skills certainly could be improved and this is not necessarily a terrible decision, however I also gain the incline that you are merely seeking a certain result other than unexpected fascination' Snape noticed the slightly guilty expression on the boy's face. 'Perhaps you wished to impress me?' He risked asking what he thought the boy was trying to do.

'I...' Harry sighed and nodded while he stared at the floor. 'I wanted to be a good son' He admitted, sad that he had been caught and apparently failed in the goal he set out to achieve.

'I thought if I was better then you'd be proud to have me as your son' Harry shrugged. 'Then you wouldn't...it won't be the wrong moment because you won't doubt and...' He frowned as he bit his lip. 'I just wanted to be someone you'd be proud of. But I really started to like the reading on potions, honest!' He glanced up but was surprised that Snape had left his desk and approached. He blushed and looked at the floor again until Snape's shoes came into view.

'Harry, I-' Snape frowned. 'Look at me when I speak to you'.

Harry did so reluctantly as he tried to get a grip on his emotions but he felt like a failure, again. As though Snape now thought he was just trying to get attention like he always accused him of being and maybe he'd realize that he couldn't be proud of him as a son at all.

Snape noticed the concern and annoyance in the boy's gaze but kept his face blank even though he wondered why he bothered to. Would it really hurt so terribly if he revealed something to the boy and how much he cared for him? Harry was bearing his soul and he stood there, looking down at him as though...it wasn't enough. Was Harry trying to impress him because he thought what he did wasn't enough? Silly child; although it wasn't entirely the boy's fault.

'Harry' Snape lifted the boy's chin higher as he went to look away again. 'You needn't worry yourself with such things. Yes, I prefer my son to be excelling in his classes, but every parent wishes for that. Do you think your parents would stop loving you if you received an “Acceptable” instead of an “Outstanding”? No. Nor would I' Snape released the boy's chin. 'As far as our agreement is concerned, you are my son now' He reminded the boy, yet again of this fact. 'I may have been blinded previously but I now know that you are a kind person who is loyal to his friends and tries hard to gain good marks. You may be a righteous, trouble-magnet Gryffindor, but that does not make me less less proud of you if you had been in Slytherin, or if you were the top student in your year' He frowned. 'Do no dwell upon things that have no purpose other than to create stress and doubt'.

'I can't help it' Harry sighed although he felt rather content with hearing the man's reassurances.

'I fear that this is becoming a common occurrence' Snape crossed his arms. 'How many more nights will we be standing here and once again be settling petty little concerns that have been thought out of proportion? What must I do to make you see sense?'

Harry ducked his head again and blushed. 'I never had a father that I knew of before, sir. I'm sorry...I just...' He struggled for words.

'Harry, look at me' Snape said again and the boy obeyed with a light frown and deeper blush.

'I am merely curious as to why you constantly doubt our agreement even when I assure you that it is foolish to do so?' He asked. 'Allow me to assist in clearing this matter by telling me what it is I must do to achieve it?'

'It's not you, sir' Harry said. 'Really, you're great...I just...I don't know!' He got frustrated now. 'I can't help thinking that it won't last and that you're going to one day realize you made a mistake. There, I said it!' He averted his gaze although he didn't dare lower his head again as he would only be told to look at him each time he speaks.

Snape ran a hand over his face and exhaled. 'Perhaps I was mistaken' He said and Harry stared at him in alarm as though the man was agreeing to his worst fears.

'Perhaps it is not too soon' Snape looked at Harry and placed his hands on each of the boy's shoulders. 'Would you feel less insecure if we were to apply the potion? Would you finally see that I indeed think of you as my son and want you to be my son if it was official?'

'You mean...if you adopt me?' Harry stared at him with side eyes.

'Would it help?' Snape asked, his tone softer than usual although still not quite gentle.

'I...I don't know' Harry admitted. 'You don't have to. I'll stop asking stupid questions. Sorry'

'You are suffering inside, Harry' Snape said. 'I can see that this arrangement has thrown your life out of proportion just as it has mine' He admitted bravely. 'We have each had to face new judgments of the other and form this newfound relationship as father and son. It changes our view on other aspects and perhaps it has become too much to simply partake in an agreement with all aspects apart from the official formality. Your blood wards have failed, that is a separate matter, however important it may also be. You are confused and unsure, which is understandable' He nodded. 'Perhaps the blood link included will assist in clearly further confusion and uncertainties' Snape said. 'You are my son and I do not wish for you to doubt that fact any further'.

Harry swallowed and felt a wave of emotion hit him once again. He was lost for words as tears welled in his eyes and he allowed himself to accept the truth that this man wanted him as family in a way that the Dursley's never had and the Weasley's never could.

Snape felt he had humiliated himself enough with such truths but still wanted to spare Harry so he reached with one hand and placed it behind the back of Harry's head to pull him into an embrace. He felt the boy sobbing against him and prayed that it was only relief, shock and acceptance that Harry felt.

'I care for you as a father should their son' Snape said, finding it easier to admit when he wasn't looking right at the child. He also frowned because what he felt for Harry he was sure Tobias Snape had never felt for his own son.

'I love you too, dad' Harry said through sobs.

Snape had to smile at that, not just because of what Harry had said or how wonderful it now felt to be called “dad” with such a honest tone, but also because of how Harry understood his way of speech. Harry had interpreted his words as “I love you, Harry” even though Snape hadn't dared to voice it in such a way. The boy was insecure where it didn't matter but he certainly picked up on the more significant things.

Harry rubbed his eyes and glanced up at Snape. 'I would...I would really like to take that potion. If it's, I mean if it's okay with you. I don't mind waiting, really...it's a bit thing'.

'Hush' Snape brushed a hand over the boy's head. 'I will discuss the matter with the headmaster and perhaps we can begin a scheduled arrangement. I only delayed the potion because I our overall interests in mind, however I see now that the situation is rather the opposite than what I originally thought'.

Harry only smiled and hugged his father again. 'Whenever you're ready, I'm ready' He said. 'It's weird how you're already like a father to me and I...I would really like to be your son'.

'I know' Snape nodded. 'But no more doubts, do you understand?'

'Yes, sir' Harry said and pulled away. 'I'm sorry for bothering you again'

'You are a hassle and often annoying, but you are no bother nor burden to me, Harry' Snape said. 'I deal with an entire house of Slytherins, I am certain that one Gryffindor shall not give me much grief' He smiled slightly.

'I suppose you're right' Harry grinned. 'So um...' He glanced at his books. 'I guess I'll just sit and read for a while? If you don't mind? Or I could just go back to my common room'

'You may stay' Snape nodded and turned to sit at his desk where a stack of work to be marked appeared. 'But I do not want you to feel pressured to be better simply because you wish to please me, Harry'.

'Yes...dad' Harry said and blushed as he said the last word and buried his nose into his book to read. As he picked up where he'd left off on the eighth chapter involving a particularly mistaken witch who unwittingly grew poisonous herbs, Harry missed the smile that spread across his potion master's face upon hearing his last words. The room became silent apart from pages being turned and a quill marking notes, but it was comfortable and the worries had been lifted. For now, at least.

It was mid-afternoon the following day and still Harry's word lingered in Snape's mind. He sat in his office and flipped through the instructions for the potion he was sure they both needed, although he was still quite skeptical if the timing was right or if they just wanted a solution to the insecurity and unfamiliarity of the situation.

It was going to take a little while to brew, not nowhere near as long as something like the polyjuice potion. There were a few complicated ingredients and preparations, however Snape had never run from a potion before and he wasn't about to start now; although, it wasn't the potion itself he felt the urge to run from but rather its effects.

There was a knock on his office door, even though it was partially open. He looked up, prepared to scowl at a student until he noticed who it was. Snape exhaled and turned back towards his reading, not sure if he looked forward to the upcoming conversation or not.

'Is this a bad time?' Synthia asked as she approached him and walked around behind him to look over his shoulder.

'Ah.' She nodded with understanding and moved to sit across from him. She felt weird sitting there as though she was a student again.

'I assure you're not merely “passing through” as you so falsely stated during our previous encounter?' Snape questioned and continued to move his eyes across the page he intently read.

'I could never lie well to you.' Synthia muttered, unhappy with that fact in which he kept reminding her of. 'And not entirely, I just wanted to see how you were doing. Is that so terrible?'

'If you must create an excuse to do so, yes.' Snape said.

'Okay I get it, you're an intimidating former Death Eater and the dungeon bat of Slytherin.' Synthia said in annoyance. 'But quit treating me like you do everyone else, as though my mere company is displeasing'.

He glanced up at her and stared at her expression for a moment before he spoke casually, clearly not bothered by what he had just said. 'Something is bothering you'.

'And so it is.' Synthia crossed her arms. 'I'm having trouble sleeping again.' She confessed.

'And you wish to acquire a vial of dreamless sleep?' Snape asked but narrowed his eyes as though he dared her to ask for it because in doing so, she would be going against their previous agreements.

'I wish to, yes. But I won't.' Synthia stated regrettably and lowered her head. 'I'm having dreams about dad again'.

Snape stiffened slightly but said nothing as she continued although he would much rather read about the potion and think upon Harry calling him by that same word, “dad”.

'Is it like this with Draco?' She wondered.

'Draco's parents remain alive.' Snape state in a low tone.

'Even though, the situation is the same.' Synthia was on her feet again. 'You went to school with both his parents and mine! You became friends with...well, actually you only went to school with my mother, but you knew my father from your neighborhood, that's close enough!' As she spoke, Snape quickly warded the door and magicked it close.

'They made you godfather of us both and to us you're like our uncle' Synthia said. 'Granted, I am an adult now...but still, Severus...I'm lost.' She sank back into the chair. 'I need to feel, even for a moment, that I am helping with something or changing something for the better'.

Snape thought about this for a moment and glanced down at his book before the idea came to him. 'Perhaps, there is a task in which you may assist me with.' He told her.

'Really?' Synthia glanced up eagerly until she became suspicious and narrowed her eyes. 'What? And don't say brewing a potion because I may be tempted to act childish'.

'Apart from myself, the boy and the headmaster, you are the only other person aware of the situation.' Snape said and she sat up straighter.

'You are more apt at dealing with children than I. Perhaps you should introduce yourself? You are so fond of stating our relation even though there is none, and yet, perhaps Harry would delight in discovering he has a...cousin? One in which he can get along with; I have gathered that he does not like his muggle cousin'.

'It won't be the same though.' Synthia said. 'Since I'm an adult, maybe Draco would be a better option?'

Snape could only smile at that suggestion. 'Mr Malfoy and Mr Potter are not what you would refer to as being “on friendly terms”, Synthia. However, I am sure you can familiarize with Harry's situation...as an orphan'.

'Hm.' Synthia nodded and glanced at him. 'Okay, I'll think about it. But I better get going, I was only meant to drop by shortly and I feel you have a visitor.' She stood and waved goodbye before walking towards the door. Sure enough, there stood a Slytherin prefect behind the door, about to knock.

'Thank you for the suggestion, Professor Snape.' Synthia called over her shoulder and disappeared from sight.

'What?' Snape glared at the prefect and snapped his book shut. Ten minutes ago he had been peacefully reading and stressing; it appears that moment has been lost.

Harry sat in the library nearby the historical section and under the constant gaze of Madam Pince as he tried desperately to focus on his school work but with little progress. Hermione was around somewhere busy with her many other studies while Ron had bailed out of homework to play chess with Fred in the common room. Harry was determined to continue with his task of keeping his grade higher than they normally were and as a result, to impress his father as well as feel good about his own skills. But with the way his mind was constantly shifting to non school-related topics, it was extremely difficult to find the earliest history of Goblin wars to be even remotely interesting.

Sighing with premature defeat, Harry removed his gaze from the sentence he had been staring at for at least ten minutes and looked over towards a group of colder students nearby. He spotted mostly Ravenclaws and Gryffindors and envied them for having done the homework he was working on already as well as for enjoying themselves while he suffered through his assigned hell. A Ravenclaw boy noticed his gaze and narrowed his eyes angrily as though Harry had offended him. Blushing, Harry quickly glanced away and tried to focus on his schoolwork again but it was with no progress than the one paragraph he had struggled to write an hour ago.

After he returned his borrowed books back to their rightful shelves, Harry gathered his things and left the library. He didn't glance back once but if he had he would have noticed the Ravenclaw boy suddenly ditching his friends to follow him.

'Hey, Potter!' Harry heard a voice call him and quickly turned around, thinking for a brief moment that it was Draco. He raised an eyebrow at the sixth year Ravenclaw that had frowned at him earlier and wondered what he wanted.

'Er, yeah?' Harry asked.

'Where are you going in such a hurry?' The boy asked and reached into his robes pocket for something. Harry thought for a fleeting moment that he was going to have a wand pointed at him and instantly tried to think of a spell that he could use to defend himself against a sixth year; something he believed to be impossible.

'Why do you care?' Harry asked defensively.

'I don't.' The boy smirked and revealed a small container that he had pulled from his pocket. He opened it as he approached Harry and instead of the crawling spiders or goo that Harry had expected, he saw only a fine light power.

'Know what this is?' The Ravenclaw questioned.

'No.' Harry rolled his eyes. 'Washing power?'

'Huh?' The boy looked confused but shook his head. 'Not stupid, it's your future.'

'I don't think I want to be cremated.' Harry took a step back and didn't like the weird conversation with this boy. He vaguely wondered if he was in danger or if he was going to be pranked. Seriously, what did this boy want with him? He didn't even know who the Ravenclaw was!

'I'm...gonna go.' Harry stepped back again.

'No, you're not.' The older boy grabbed his shoulder tightly and sneered close to Harry's face. 'You make yourself out to be some sort of hero, well you're not.' He growled.

'You're a fraud and an idiot. People worship you for your luck and ability to escape what you deserve.'

'Let me go!' Harry squirmed and hoped someone would walk along the corridor to see them and maybe report this boy to a teacher because his grip was too tight and he couldn't free himself.

'Your father got what he deserved.' The Ravenclaw said. 'It's time you should too.' He shoved Harry hard and as the younger Gryffindor stumbled backwards, the Ravenclaw blew the contents of the metal container all over him.

Harry hit the floor roughly, his elbows and rear hurting as he glanced up at the cloud of ash-like powder. He coughed and choked as it hit him and felt his lung ache with the impact of inhaling whatever it was that the boy had blown on him; it certainly wasn't washing powder.

'Enjoy.' The boy chuckled and turned to leave.

Harry remained on the stone floor and squinted as his vision blurred and the corridor he was seeing became two darker ones. There was a figure up ahead but he couldn't quite make it out until he heard Hermione's voice calling to him.

'Harry!' She rushed to him. 'Harry, are you alright?' Hermione knelt beside him and placed a hand on her shoulder.

'Huh?' His vision returned to normal and he recognized his friend more clearly. 'Oh, yeah. I think so.' Harry got to his feet and dusted off his robes although despite the powder he'd had blown on him, none of it fell from his clothes and his glasses were not clouded with the substance. He inhaled sharply when his head suddenly hurt and his balance suffered, causing him to fall onto the ground again.

'Harry!' Hermione stressed. 'Don't move, I'll go get Madam Pomfrey.' She told him and hurried off in the direction of the Hospital Wing.

Harry winced and lay on his side, his face paling as his head pounded with pain and blood dripped from his nose onto the stone floor. His schoolbooks and belongings were scatted around him on the floor and the air felt thicker to breathe. Harry wondered what that powder had done to him, if he was being drugged or if it was a powdered potions ingredient; he wasn't sure which could be worst.

--

'Harry?' A voice spoke softly to him and abruptly all his pain and confusion was gone. He was no longer lying on the cold floor of the corridor but instead the carpeted floor of a living room. He rolled onto his back to get a look at who was talking to him since his entire body felt sluggish and unresponsive. He saw her red hair and emerald eyes. He gasped and stared at her, sure that this couldn't be real.

'Harry?' She asked again. 'Why are you lying on the floor?'

Harry looked around and saw that he was in an unfamiliar house decorated in mild colours and oak furniture and yet it was covered in cobwebs and dust.

He swallowed and went to ask her what had happened but found he could not speak, his throat was dry and numb, as though it hadn't been used in a very long time.

'Oh Harry, have you been up to no good again?' Lily sighed as she shook her head and straightened, dusting off her blue robes. As she stared at him, she began to fade away until Harry was all alone. Suddenly he could move and speak again as he jerked upright and reached towards the place where his mother had just been.

'Mum!' Harry shouted to her. 'Come back!'

'Your mother doesn't like it when we raise our tone inside.' Another voice said and Harry glanced over at his father with the same glasses and hair as he had.

'Sorry.' Harry wanted to say but his voice was gone again. He wanted to run to his real father and hug him, tell him how much he missed him and how he wished he was still alive. He couldn't.

'I could always tell what you were thinking, Harry.' James said. 'You look confused and thankful, but you shouldn't.' He shook his head in disappointment.

'This isn't real. We're dead, remember?'

Harry swallowed and inhaled sharply, still void of pain and yet he felt the loss of losing them all over again, the dull ache in his heart whenever he thought of the parents he had lost.

James glanced towards his watch and sighed. He stepped towards Harry and crouched in front of him with a sympathetic expression.

'This isn't real.' James repeated in a low voice. 'It's all a delusion. You're losing your mind, Harry. All of your memories and pieces of your life, of reality, are fading and soon they will all be gone.' He told him and Harry felt cold when he heard those words. Fearful, and cold.

Harry tried to speak, to deny what he was being told by his dead father, determined that it wasn't true, but words failed him once again.

'You won't remember anything.' James stood again and stared down at him in his deep red robes as he fixed his glasses higher on his nose. 'Every memory will be replaced with fantasy...you won't know what's real or who anyone in your life was.'

'No.' Harry choked out as his father began to fade away.

'It will all be gone, Harry.' James said with a dark expression as he vanished.

'Not even Severus Snape can save you from this one.'

Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore and Snape stood around Harry's bed where the boy lay pale and unresponsive. His eyes were closed but he winced every once and again, mumbling incoherent words as he mostly remained still. They had been tending to him for over three hours and nothing had worked. He would not wake nor did he appear to be aware of anything around him.

'I think we have no choice now.' Dumbledore said gravely. 'We're going to have to transfer to him to St. Mungo's.'

'Are you sure, Albus?' Poppy asked worriedly while Snape turned as pale as Harry was, silently having a mental fit of concern and desperation to do something useful.

'I fear it will be too late if we don't.' Dumbledore sighed. 'There's nothing we can do for him now, but I will make sure he's under our supervision still. Severus, if you would?'

'I will not leave the boy's side.' Snape nodded as he continued to stare at Harry. His words sounded more like a threat than a promise but no one noticed.

--

Meanwhile, in Hogsmeade...

'I received word from Arron.' A wizard stated as he pulled his hood around his face and left the Hog's Head with his brother. 'It is done.'

'The Potter boy has been infected?' The darked toned and more heavily scarred wizard returned, not caring about showing his bearded face to the crowd.

'The powdered potion has entered his system upon immediate contact, yes.' The first wizard nodded. 'My son did as he was told. Potter will shortly begin losing his mind, voiding it of anything important and replacing it with random uselessness.'

'Good.' The darker one chuckled. 'Then the revenge begins. Our tormentor may be gone, but his son will suffer in his place. Even in death, James Potter will regret ever thinking he was above his schoolmates.'

'I care nothing for your reputation!' Snape glared at the assistant healer who had just finished setting Harry up in a room all to himself.

'This boy is to be monitored at all times by myself, Albus Dumbledore or Minerva McGonagall and not a single other with the exception of his healer. Am I making this point clear or shall I spell it out for you?' He snarled.

'I-I get it, no one else...right.' The poor man nodded and hurried from the room to escape the cautiously protective and yet equally terrifying man that insisted on having a bed at the other end of the room to supervise the young patient.

Snape shook his head and sighed as he approached the bed where Harry lay in a semi-coma; his face was pale and occasionally his fingers twitched but there was no sign of Harry himself being there... it was as though his body worked but his soul had vacated the areas in which it was required in order for Harry to wake.

Snape had tried to imagine what it would be like; as though it was a cauldron filled with a thick, impenetrable potion and the boy was residing at the bottom but neither could reach the other and with time, the boy would likely run out of air.

That is how Snape thought of it, and it terrified him.

'You will get through this.' Snape approached Harry's bed and stared down at his son. 'What use is your stubborn attitude if it's not put to effective use during situations such this?' He sighed and sank into the chair beside the bed.

Snape continued to stare at the boy as he mentally prayed for the child's positive wellbeing in every conceivable way.

Harry was sitting on the carpeted floor of the Dursley's house. He picked at the threads of carpet in boredom and frowned about what he feared was really going on.

He sighed miserably and glanced around the living room of the house, wondering why he had awoken there. It looked as clean as it always did but perhaps with less light coming in through the window's curtains; there were more shadows than he recalled.

Harry glanced up when his mother appeared and sat cross-legged in front of him, barefoot and apparently younger than she was in the pictures he had; here she was in her late teens and dressed in a pair of blue jeans with a light purple, long-sleeved shirt that was rolled up to her elbows.

'Hey, mum.' He greeted her. Harry was always pleased to see his mother even if he was convinced that everything around him wasn't real.

'Hello, Harry.' She smiled at him although he could see the sadness in her gaze. 'Did your father explain things?'

'Yes, sort of.' Harry frowned and stared at the carpet he was still picking at. 'He said I'd forget everything and everyone...my friends, my life!' He gasped and a shiver of fear swept through him.

'I don't want to! Mum, you have to get me out of here.' Harry panicked.

'Shh, calm down sweetie.' Lily said in a soothing voice. Harry was surprised at how easy his panic faded when she smiled at him and spoke with a loving tone.

'Yes, it will all disappear.' She nodded. 'And I cannot save you because I too am a delusion. However, have you noticed that you can still remember everything in your life so far, no matter how small or important it may be?'

Harry thought for a moment and realized that if he mentally focused on any person or place, there was no missing information nor confusion.

'Yes!' He grinned with hope. 'I haven't forgotten anything.'

'Not yet.' Lily corrected. 'You can still recall those details of your life because your body is yet to fully absorbed the poison. In a few hours, your body will lapse properly into a coma and your mind will become infected.' She sighed.

'One would assume that the most recent events in your life with fade first but this is not the case. It will be entirely random up to the point where you think you could figure it out and yet you can never prevent it from happening nor fight against it. Everyone you love will be gone, every place you've visited will be unfamiliar and every memory you've ever experienced will be lost forever.' Lily explained.

'Your mind will be an empty shell, replacing what its lost with something new to fill the vacated space. Some details will be gone, others will become modified and occasionally everything will be confused together.'

'A-and there's nothing you can do?' Harry felt tears welling in his eyes as the truth hit him quite hard. It had never seemed false to him, but as his mother detailed his fears and dread, it had become more real that ever, figuratively speaking.

'No.' Lily shook her head. 'There is nothing anyone can do.' She faded away again and Harry waited to be joined by his father but the minutes seemingly ticked by and he was still alone.

Abandoning his task of picking at his aunt's rug, Harry stood and glanced out the windows to see Privet Drive as he knew it. There was something different about it though. There was a spookier feel about the muggle place and as he stared closer Harry realized that the houses weren't painted correctly and a lamppost was upside-down. He saw an empty car drive past along the lawns (seemingly through the fences as if the vehicles were ghosts), and heard a dog barking but the only animal in sight was an oddly-familiar tabby cat that watched him from across the road before it morphed into a piece of parchment and blew away in the non-existent wind.

Frustrated and scared, Harry yanked the curtains closed but the material ripped with his mere touch. He he stared in horror as the laced fabric melted like a slice of cheese that had been left in a warm place, and faded away.

Harry watched as the house around him didn't seem quite right although it hadn't changed, not entirely. He had a moment of inspiration and rushed into the hallway to the cupboard under the stairs.

Grasping at the handle, Harry pulled it open only to find it full of swirling colours as opposed to the cramped little storage space where he had spent most of his younger years sleeping in.

Hesitantly, Harry reached out and touched a part of the constantly-changing arrangement of colours. When his hands made contact with the blue shaded section, it was exactly like Harry was dipping his hand into blue paint. It dripped upwards from his hand as though gravity had reversed for all colourful liquids; it formed a small ball of the “paint” and than coloured and when it returned to Harry's palm, he was in the form of a small toy.

The object was a white horse with a headless rider. Harry recognized it instantly as one of his toys from his cupboard when he'd been annoyed about not getting his letter from Hogwarts. His uncle had been drilling the letterbox closed the very same day in which he constantly played with that small, seemingly unremarkable toy.

The object turned into blue paint again and than formed into oily water, which leaked onto the floor from his hand (with the correct, everyday power and order gravity), and was gone. Harry stared at his hand and wondered why it had been so interesting; the toy had been erased from his mind and would never return.

Confused by his hand for a moment, Harry focused on the swirls again and touched the red part next. The same thing happened, except with the colour red rather than blue and instead of a childhood toy, Harry found himself holding something much bigger as it grew and almost slipped from his grasp because of its material. Uh Oh.

Harry stared at his beloved invisibility cloak and clutched it close to his heart, fearful of losing it as it was not only amazing and incredibly useful, but it held sentimental value. It once belonged to his father.

'No!' Harry gasped as the cloak turned red and began to disappear from his mind as well. Colour after colour, object after object...Harry lost items he treasured, things he had tossed aside in passing, equipment he had occasionally used and worst of all...piece of his memory that he could never reclaim.

'Harry.' Lily placed a hand on her son's shoulder as he reached to the swirl of colours for the eighteenth time.

'Stop.'

Harry turned around tearfully and stared at her before he nodded and lowered his arm; he understood, he knew what she was trying to say...but still he had hoped it not to be true.

The cupboard door shook and slammed shut. Harry watched in horror as the cracks all around it that indicated it to be a door began to seal and fade. He was left standing in front of the side of the stairs with no cupboard in sight.

Fearfully and distraught, Harry spun around blindly to cuddle his mother for comfort. He sniffled as he caught air and opened his eyes. Harry stood in an empty, aged version of the house with no furniture and...no one else other than himself. He shuddered with miserable, fearful emotions and fled to a distant corner to curl up and bury his face against his knees as he sobbed.

Snape stood a few feet away from the boy's bed as healers fussed and cast healing spells.

They had determined that the boy was indeed poisoned by from an unknown kind with ingredients that had stumped even Severus Snape. All except one key component: the mooncoil laxherb...a highly toxic, completely understudied and unbelievably rare plant in which not even the Dark Lord himself would dare to touch.

For it to be used in a potion that had been administered into the blood of a twelve-year-old boy via its powdered form...it was most disturbing indeed.

'Well?' Snape asked the lead healer with in an icy tone, however it lacked its usual volume and was barely above a whisper.

By this time, Dumbledore had also joined with another two healers and a trusted auror.

Snape heard not a single word the healer proceeded to say; the expression the elderly wizard had on his usually optimistic face was all that needed to be noticed. The boy was in a state worst that dying, and there wasn't a bloody thing anyone could do about it.

'It's happening!' A mediwitch declared and the group of healers and Hogwarts staff (which was to say Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall), crowded around the bed where the comatose boy lay. His face was remembered to be vibrant and young, his eyes alight with mischief or curiosity, his grin lopsided with a mixture of innocence and amusement, his cheeks flushed with the heat of activity or embarrassment...and most of all, an expression of youth, health and liveliness.

All that had changed as it slowly progressed to the face of an unrecognizable, motionless and terribly ill child.

Harry's face became pearly pale with a ting of green, he had darkened shadows under his eyes, his lips turned a shade bluer and his breathing became ragged, uneven gasps for air he was seemingly lacking.

The healers did the best they could with self-breathing charms, monitoring charms, diagnostics spells and anything else that may help. For all the good it did, they may as well have just blinked at the sight of the boy.

McGonagall was close to tears, Dumbledore was pale and wore the expression of a haunted man...Snape however, was far worst.

He slowly sank into a chair that was fortunately right behind him and stared at the poisoned boy laying in that hospital bed. His eyes forgot how to blink, his lungs reduced the amount of oxygen they required, his brain forgot how to function, his skin paled whiter than snow, his fingers gripped tightly to the chair as his wand was separated from his master for the first time in over ten years as it slipped onto the floor.

Simply put; Snape Snape was in shock.

The sound of his fallen wand had the soundly impact of a pencil falling onto a hard surface during an exam; where every sound was louder than it was with the absence of any other noise.

The others turned towards him but by the time their gaze had fallen upon the dark man, he had snapped into composure and had turned to storm out of the room with his wand clutched in his hand once again.

'P-poor Severus.' McGonagall whispered. 'First Lily...now this?' She shook her head and continued to stare at Harry with horror.

'Isn't there anything we can do for the child, Albus?'

'Yes.' Dumbledore's voice was low and almost a growl as he spoke.

'Pray.'

'What's happening?' Harry had subsided in his crying and leaped to his feet when the house around him suddenly gained cracks on every space of wall, floor or ceiling. It began to crumble and he tried to flee but someone snatched at him from behind.

'Get off!' He scowled and turned around to face James Potter. He stopped and appeared oblivious to the falling debris around them as they stared at each other; a scared boy looking right into the haunted gaze of his father.

'What's going on?' Harry choked out as Lily appeared beside him.

'We warned you, son.' James said. 'You are in a coma. The poison is now beginning to take over your mind, infecting it and modifying it with speed and...'

'And what?' Harry gulped, not sure if he really wanted to know but the lack of information was somehow more frightening at that moment.

'It is killing you.' Lily concluded.

'B-but...' Harry closed his eyes and had only three seconds to grieve before an indescribably agony coursed through his body at once; his scar burned, his eyes stung, his legs felt broken and his stomach ached as though it was being crushed.

The boy fell to his knees but instead of touching the cracking floor that was once covered with carpet, he handed on wood and the pain was gone faster than it came. And worst, he did not know this place.

'W-where am I?' Harry searched for his parents but no one was there. It was a rather dark place and obviously somewhat muggle based on the kitchen he could see as well as the occasional electric lamp. He spotted a desk and many, many rows of books the lined every inch of all the walls. There was a fireplace with a silver container of floor power and a large, squishy armchair that also looked rather throne-like as well. There was nothing else.

Until Harry stood and watched in horror as a blurred screen appeared in front of him, similar to the reflections on rippling water. He saw Privet Drive flash before him and than the Hogwarts train in the station went by as well. Harry thought about them as they appeared, but once they had been seen and changed...he could no longer remember what he had just been thinking about.

Ron's grinning face as Harry showed him his scar appeared and faded, as did the expression on Hermione's face as she took the blame for the troll incident, than Draco's sneer as Slytherin seemingly won the house cup, his Gringotts vault filled with gold from his parents, Hedwig flying around Hogwarts, Dumbledore talking to him in the hospital wing after the incident with the stone, the sorting hat announcing he was in Gryffindor, Fluffy the three-headed-dog, Mrs Weasley placing more eggs on his plate, Hagrid telling him he was a wizard, Fred and George laughing during Quidditch practice, Vernon shoving Harry through the front door after the zoo incident, getting his first wand, seeing his family in the mirror, being chased by Dudley and his gang, the feathers levitating during Charms class, the giant chess set, his photo album with pictures of his parents, catching the snitch with his mouth, rushing towards a Christmas tree with presents underneath...and finally, a flash of green light erupted from the images and engulfed the entire room.

Harry was forced to shut his eyes and when he opened them, he was in a vast landscape with no end nor beginning, no horizon nor a sun in the sky and sense of location, identity or reassurance. It was late afternoon (presumably), and Harry was discouraged to find himself utterly surrounded by freezing snow.

He shivered terribly and hugged himself as he lowered to his knees into the icy ground. His eyes watered and his face was just as pale as the area around him.

'Stop, please.' Harry whispered as the wind blew harshly but never seemed to touch him (other than to blow his hair everywhere), or make a single sound.

He noticed a slight change in his attire; instead of his Gryffindor robes he wore those similar to the first years had before being sorted (no house tie, colours or crest). That was the least of his concerns.

'Please just...stop...I-I-' Harry choked on his fresh sobs. 'Stop.' The boy shuddered again although the cause was unknown.

'STOP IT!' Harry shouted his throat raw and ignored the cold as he hunched over in the snow and banged his fists into the icy mixture. He grabbed fistfuls and threw it in the effort to do nothing more than ease his frustration.

He didn't know what he had done to deserve this, or even if he was still alive...either way Harry just wanted to to end so that he could worry about stupid things like homework, old photographs, odd places and an annoying Potions professors who...wait a second!

'Severus Snape.' Harry tried. 'Potions Master at the magical school. Was a git to me because of...someone related to me. I asked him to be my father and he pitched a fit before he eventually accepted.' He frowned and wondered why he hadn't forgotten anything about Snape. It was most odd.

This realization sparked something inside Harry, however small it was, the heat of his hope caused the snow to melt. Suddenly the icy doom became a field of long, lush grass with a blue sky and a horizon for the setting sun to eventually disappear behind. He had ignored his fear and his knowledge for a brief moment and therefore something had changed.

Harry gulped as he felt very drained of energy and shakily stood to warily look around at the modified area. His parents then appeared before him and Harry's rationality began to make itself slightly known. He remembered a few things, he was sure of it! He knew who they were, sort of, even though their faces weren't clear enough and he had no clue of their names (but why did he know anything at all; some of the blurred images before included them).

He thought of the redheaded girl and know-it-all boy...no wait, that didn't seem right! There was a silver snake with blonde hair...err, maybe. Shaking his head with confusion, Harry focused on the one thing he knew for sure: Severus Snape had black hair, dark eyes and dressed in even more pressing toned clothes. He liked to brew potions, scare students and come up with new ways to punish lions, hm...that was an odd hobby. Perhaps he doesn't like cats much?

Harry's head ached and he was terribly confused.

'You are slipping, Harry.' Lily said sadly. 'Soon you won't know anything...it will all be gone.'

'You've already forgotten your friends, your school, the muggle world, your adventures, your lessons and your belongings.' James added.

Harry stumbled and was crouched on the grass which had shortened considerably in the few seconds it took him to no longer be standing. He had his eyes closed as his throbbing head pounded every time he tried to remember something. What colour was Snape's robes again? Green, maybe? No wait, his eyes were green..weren't they?'

'Shut up!' Harry snapped. 'Leave me alone!'

Somehow deep inside his mind it clicked; he may be losing his memories and his mind but nothing around him was technically real. Everything was a part of the poison, a part of the insanity and lies. Everything...and everyone.

Slowly Harry glanced up at the parents he should have forgotten and glared. 'You're. Not. Real!' He growled in a tone to rival Snape himself. 'You're both dead! You left me alone!' His tone began to raise, as did the level of pain in his head; that went ignored.

'YOU'RE NOT REAL!' Harry's shout echoed in the land formated in his mind as he cleared, modified and replaced with every passing second (which was actually much longer in the proper, existing reality of St. Mungos).

--

'Arghhhh!' A wizard howled with agony as a migraine overtook him and he lowered his wand. If not for the silencing charm his partner had conjured earlier, those residing in the Potter boy's room would have surely captured them in the act.

'Well?' The dark-toned wizard growled, entirely ignore the obvious pain of the other. 'Why did you stop?'

'I was almost done, but the boy must have figured something out, I dunno.'

'Does he know who he is?' The dark wizard and original plotter of the powdered potion asked as he yanked his partner off the floor and turned to flee the unsupervised ward with him being roughly tagged along.

'I-I'm not sure but he surely doesn't remember anything else. I could feel it all slipping away, he's got about a few months worth of memories left, that's all.'

'It shall suffice.' The darker wizard nodded. 'There's no way to repair it and he's on the brink of death as it is.'

'Um, isn't this...I mean, surely this is pushing it a bit too far just for a bit of bullying?'

'Do NOT question me!' The darker wizard snarled. 'James Potter stripped me of ever ounce of reputation I ever built, every grade I hoped to achieve, every dream I could possibly think of...and worst of all, I became a nobody because of him. ME! A nobody!' He snarled dangerously as they left the hospital, surprisingly unnoticed by most.

The other wizard wisely decided to remain silent and didn't dare to mention the fact that the potion-curse combination had a tiny loophole in it that may or may not end with their downfall; they were messing with the dealings of the mind.

And anyone magical or otherwise knew; the mind (however much it may occasionally adapt or crumble when tampered with), was in the best and worst of every moment...a very unpredictable thing.