James Potter would have been furious, or so Snape imagined. Currently James' imaginary shouting and cursing him supplemented the memory of Madam Pomfrey's real shouting and berating as it all circled in Snape's mind. He lay on his back on top of the covers in his dark room thinking it all over. Unintentional though it was, he had still injured a student... a small defenseless one at that. There was no need for imaginary parents cursing him or even Poppy's insults and threats chasing his thoughts, because he was sickened with himself as it was. You stupid fool, he thought to himself, you have become your father. You have become that which you despise. While it was hard to think back on his own days as a small defenseless child, he deserved to remember because he had thrown Harry into a wall so hard that he had gotten a concussion, and had made him scared that if he did something wrong again he would be hit.

Harry's words were the worst of all for Severus to remember... ‘I always deserve it'. He thought he knew what those words meant... they meant that Harry had been hit or thrown around before. From his own unfortunate experience he knew that children generally did nothing to deserve such treatment, but were often left believing that they were bad and must have done something to deserve it. Damn you Severus Snape, he thought viciously, had you not been so quick to see James you might have seen how small and sickly the boy looked when he started school... you might have seen those raggedy holey shoes and clothes he wears... you might have seen yourself.

He put a hand over his eyes as he thought back over the last three weeks. He had been marginally unfair, or perhaps even grossly unfair to the boy. He had served a lot of detentions and had done his best to complete them without complaining. By Snape's count Harry had 14 get out of jail free cards to use up before Severus would ever assign him detention again.

It had been two days since he had taken Harry to the hospital wing for the concussion, and he was still up there. Of course a concussion was something easily healable, but Pomfrey was probably keeping him there coddling him, and well he deserved, Snape scolded himself for thinking that Harry didn't deserve it.

The sound of roaring flames and a strict scolding tone interrupted his thoughts. "Severus Snape! You would do well to haul your sorry carcass up here this instant!" He didn't even look at the fireplace as the mediwitch's head disappeared. Slowly he dragged himself from the bed and headed for the door. At least Dumbledore hadn't scolded him yet, probably because it was the weekend and he wanted Severus to think over his grave mistake, and also because Pomfrey was doing a wonderful job of scolding him already.

In the Hospital Wing Severus spied Harry lying on his side in a bed in the far end of the ward facing away from him. He barely had time to glimpse him before Pomfrey was standing there with her hands on her hips.

"He won't speak to anyone," she told him quietly so as not to disturb Harry.

"Is that so?" he crossed his arms, wanting her to scold him already and get it over with so he could go back to his private quarters and continue to think over things.

"Yes that is so you foolish man." She waved her finger at him. "And if you had half a heart you'd go and talk to him!"

Severus sighed. "And what do you propose that I say? I have already apologized to him. I hardly think he wishes to speak to me."

"You are responsible for his depression Severus, and that means you're responsible for helping him out of it. I can only do so much for students when they come in... there are some hurts I cannot heal."

"I am hardly the person to help-" Her glare was enough to cut him off, and she walked into her office leaving him to take up his charge and ‘cure' him.

It was pure foolishness is what it was, he thought to himself. How she thought he could help was beyond him. He was not good at coddling, and he had serious reservations about his ability to help someone whom he had hurt.

He spied Pomfrey standing in her office door with her arms crossed glaring him down, and was suddenly motivated to move. That woman, he thought, was the biggest pain in his backside. She had been so since he himself had been a student there and had come in for whatever injuries he had incurred as a student.

As he approached the bed he thought Harry to be asleep because he lay so still, but once in view of his face he saw that his eyes were open and staring into nothingness.

Feeling awkward, Severus wasn't sure if he should remain standing, or sit down, or even what to say to the boy at all. Another apology came to mind, but he knew he couldn't do it justice, and instead a question popped out of his mouth as he saw Harry's stack of ragged clothes folded neatly on his nightstand with his holey shoes sitting neatly on top.

"Why do you wear such clothes?"

Harry's eyes flicked up to Severus, and then to the pile of too big clothes, and then back to their previous position, but other than that there was no movement. After a pregnant pause Harry said, "It's all that I have."

Severus frowned. "Your guardians do not provide you with proper clothing when your old clothes wear through?"

Harry shrugged.

"That is not an answer."

"You can just tell Madam Pomfrey that I wont talk to you either if you want," Harry suddenly said, putting his arm up over his face to cover his eyes. "Then you don't have to talk to me just because she said so."

Severus crossed his arms. "I do not take orders from Madam Pomfrey." Harry's arm shifted slightly so he could see Snape with one eye.

"I heard her shouting at you in the fireplace."

Rolling his eyes Severus said, "You did not answer my question."

Harry covered his eyes with his arm again, finding it soothing to have the light blocked out of his vision. "A neighbor gave me the shoes, and my aunt makes me wear Dudley's old things when he gets too big for them."

"And it has always been this way?"

Harry shrugged. "The neighbor gave me a brand new shirt once, but Dudley ripped it before I got to wear it."

"Hm..." There was another long pause and Harry was so silent that Snape thought he might have fallen asleep. Harry was in fact very tempted to pretend to be asleep, because he felt awkward having Snape there trying to comfort him, but at the same time he would rather have Snape for company than Madam Pomfrey trying to deliver pop psychology to him. Couldn't they just understand that he just wanted some time alone? It was better to spend his weekend in bed alone than to spend it in Gryffindor where all of his housemates hated him... except Ron, but Ron was better off without him anyway.

Finally Harry heard Snape walk away, and relaxed a little. It had been long enough that he must have thought he was asleep. Harry kept his arm over his eyes and allowed himself to drift into a fitful doze. When he awoke it was nearly four hours later, and he removed his arm to find his old clothes gone, and a new stack of clothes in their place.

Harry sat up quickly to examine the new clothes. They looked smaller than his old ones, and they were indeed new. Where had they come from? Had Madam Pomfrey put them there? There was a wonderful red shirt and a brand new pair of dark blue jeans... and there was even a pair of brand new white sneakers! Wow! His heart was doing summersaults... these were the first brand new clothes he could ever remember being given to him, aside from his brand new school robes that he got to wear all the time to cover up his nasty old clothes.

"Feeling better?" He startled at Madam Pomfrey's surprised words.

"Huh?" He turned back to the pile of clothes, holding the soft t-shirt in his hands. "Where did these come from?"

She frowned. "I don't know. Weren't those the ones you came in with?" Harry shook his head.

"Can I try them on?"

Happy that Harry was talking and sitting up, she was inclined to agree to just about anything at this point. She nodded and conjured the privacy screens to his bedside while he changed. Inside the shoes he had even found a new pair of socks. They were so soft and warm on his feet, and all of the clothes fit perfectly.

"Do you think I can leave?" Harry asked once she had removed the privacy screens.

She looked at him carefully, trying to assess his condition. "Really Mr. Potter? All it takes to get you out of bed is a new pair of clothes?"

He shrugged. "I've never had new clothes before!" He was definitely excited. He didn't care where they had come from, he only cared that they were his, and he dearly hoped that they had not been delivered to him by mistake.

"Hm... you were free to leave two days ago when your concussion was healed. I see no reason why you can't leave now. I don't expect to hear about you sulking around the castle though, understood?"

Harry nodded eagerly and hurried out of the room. He had never been proud to be out and about before in the rags he had been forced to wear, but now he felt like a new person as he walked through the halls with the bright Saturday sun shining in through the corridor windows.

He still didn't feel spectacular about the kind of person he was, and while Snape was being a little nicer he still didn't want to run into him and earn another detention, but for the time being he was able to allow a small bit of happiness into his mood.

Ron found him wandering the halls a short while later and was so happy to see that he was ok he gave him a hug. "We were so worried about you! You were so pale and sweaty and sick and then you didn't show back up in the common room... we thought Snape did you in for good!"

"We?" Harry asked as they walked down an empty corridor.

"Me, Fred, George, and Hermione."

"I thought Hermione hated us."

"I dunno," Ron said, "she's a girl... who knows what they're thinking. She was worried because you looked so sick. She took notes for you Thursday and Friday since you missed classes and you should see how great they are! Seriously, she has four pages of notes from History of Magic class... I can never get down more than one."

Harry laughed for the first time in long while. "Well, I guess we'll do good on the next test then."

Ron nodded enthusiastically. They had done pretty bad on their last test for Professor Binns, mainly because his class was so boring that they had a hard time paying attention much past five minutes after the start of each lesson.

"Potter." Ron and Harry froze, recognizing Snape's voice from behind, although it was not sharp and angry like it usually was.

Harry closed his eyes and bit his lip hard. Feeling bold for some reason in defense of his friend Ron turned around, screwed up his courage, and said, "Haven't you done enough already?"

Severus raised his eyebrows at the boldness of the youngest Weasley son. "Perhaps you would like to take his place in detention for the next week for that comment Mr. Weasley?" The question certainly had a choice for repentance in there.

Ron narrowed his eyes and said, "Better me than him."

Snape crossed his arms. "Ten points from Gryffindor for being rude Mr. Weasley. I had no intention of giving Potter a detention, I merely wished to speak to him... Alone."

"Oh," Ron looked at the ground quickly, muttered an apology and said something about unfairness and having to find Hermione for some notes. He gave Harry a sympathetic look and hurried off.

Harry's heart was beating fast and he didn't turn around to face his Professor.

"I assume you are feeling better Potter, or that it was all a ruse to begin with and you just wished to garner sympathy from the staff by laying around moping for two days?"

Suddenly his breathing became shallow and he felt panicky... here came those trick questions again. What was he supposed to do? His every muscle tightened up and he tried to take slow deep breaths. Severus noticed the visible change in Harry as he stood there and tightened up. Not wanting to be the cause of a panic attack right there in the middle of the corridor Severus moved around to face Harry.

"You are not in trouble Mr. Potter, calm down."

Harry heard the words and tried, but it wasn't happening. His muscles remained tense and he was fighting to breath. He felt like he wanted to rip his hair out.

Careful to keep his distance, Severus said in an even tone, "Deep breaths Potter... I know I am hardly the one to help you through a panic attack seeing as how I am obviously the cause of it, but look me in the eyes anyway. You are not in trouble, and I am not going to hurt you. Ever."

Harry closed his eyes, wishing for that calming darkness again, and wishing that he hadn't left the safety and solitude of the Hospital Wing. He was so accustomed to seeing Snape and equating him with hurt and trouble that he couldn't force his muscles to relax... he couldn't force the air into his lungs if he tried.

"Listen to my voice... concentrate on the calmness of my voice," Severus said, afraid that if the boy didn't start breathing regularly soon that he would end up in Madam Pomfrey's care again. "Take slow, deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Pretend I am not here."

Forcing himself to listen Harry concentrated on Snape's voice and the darkness, and found his muscles calming and relaxing slightly. Finding relief in the air returning to his lungs, Harry opened his eyes again and let his gaze fall to the floor, ashamed that he had needed help to get through that, especially help from Snape.

"In here Potter," Severus said, motioning to an empty classroom a few feet down the hall. He pushed the door open and lead the way in, allowing Potter to follow at a distance that felt safe for him.

Severus leaned casually on the desk in the front of the room, and Harry walked in and stood there still feeling awkward. He had to fight the sudden urge to bite his nails, which he had never done before.

"I must apologize to you once again for my behavior Mr. Potter. I in no way intended to hurt you. I was very wrong to pick you up and throw you, and by all rights I should no longer be working here, because it is unacceptable for any staff member to hurt any student ever, do I make myself clear?" It came out as a command, although unintentionally, but Harry nodded anyway, still looking at the floor.

"I... am not perfect Potter. You look so very much like your father..." he was trying to find just the right words, and was feeling awkward in doing it. He was not accustomed to sharing his personal feelings with anybody, especially not with students, but he knew this was a special case because of what he had done. "I saw you at the Sorting and I thought immediately that you were just like him... needless to say, we did not get along well during our own school days."

Harry looked up at this. Snape went to school with his father, and thought that he was just like him?

"I-" Harry looked down again, "I never even met him. I didn't know I looked like him until... until I got here." He looked up and into his Potion Master's eyes. "I have no idea what he's like."

His immediate urge was to tell the boy just how cruel his father was, but somehow that didn't seem appropriate just at this particular moment. "Given that you did not grow up with your parents, I should have known better than to assume you were exactly like them. It is my fault that you have suffered in the last three weeks. I do not intend to keep up a crusade against a dead man's son."

Harry bit his lip. Was that what this was? It really wasn't Harry's fault? But some things had to be... what about all those times Uncle Vernon locked him away in his cupboard or threw him into a wall or worse?

"Do not think for one moment that anything you have suffered thus far is your fault Potter," Snape told him, seeing the cogs in the boy's mind turning things over. "No child deserves to be treated as you were. Every child deserves to be cared for."

Suddenly Harry turned away so that his back was to his Professor. He didn't want him to see his tears if they started spilling down his cheeks. There had to be something wrong with him if every child deserved to be cared for, but he wasn't being taken care of like Dudley, or like Ron, or like any other child. His breathing was shallow again and he tried to fight off the impending panicky feeling that was trying to overwhelm him. If he just wasn't such a bad person all the time then he could have had a normal life?

"Potter?"

Harry wiped his eyes on his arm. "'m sorry sir... but I don't deserve that."

"What on earth would make you say such a thing?" Snape was standing now, wondering how Harry would react if he moved closer.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Because I never had that. And Uncle always said I didn't deserve the generosity they gave me, and that I had to pay for everything they gave me."

"Potter... pay how?"

Harry shuddered, remembering the beatings and the chores that lasted until three am as punishment for being so bad. "I- they- I dunno. I'm not used to being treated so good like here. I feel like I'm a prince," Harry said, trying to explain about living in this fairytale. Snape stiffened at the mention of Harry being a prince, but allowed his muscles to loosen as Harry continued. "They give you lots of food here and a bed and warm soft blankets, and somebody gave me new clothes even and-" suddenly it occurred to Harry that Snape already knew that he wore raggedy old clothes, and that shortly after finding that out new clothes had been given to him.

Harry turned, looking at Snape, surprised to find him so close that he had to look up to meet his eyes. "Somebody gave me new clothes sir."

Severus nodded. "I know."

"Why? Why would somebody do that? Nobody wants me to have new clothes... ever."

"Because you are not a bad child, and you deserve to be taken care of."

Harry bit his lip and looked down at the floor again. No, it wasn't true. This was all his fault... it had to be.

"No sir," Harry said, getting emotional again and hating the feeling of not being able to control his feelings. "I'm bad and I can't help it. And I just want to be good so that someday somebody will want me." Suddenly he was running to the door and throwing it open, and hurtling down the hallway as fast as he could. He didn't know why, but he knew he had to run far and fast. Would anybody care at all if he just ran off into the forbidden forest and built a hut like Hagrid's and lived the rest of his days alone? Maybe Ron, but that was it.

Harry was all the way to the Owlery before he ran out of breath, and he slumped down against a wall under a tall open window. He hoped Snape wouldn't follow him... but no, he wouldn't, Harry thought, because nobody cared that much about him. Confused, Harry was somehow comforted to know that things were as they always were with nobody caring about him, and at the same time he felt a strong need and desire to just have his parents or somebody that did care there to comfort him. Why couldn't he just have a family all his own?