-II-

Severus and Harry knew instantly that this would be the perfect gift for Poppy. She loved to talk with her plants and was sure that doing so made them healthier. Molly offered to keep the plant until Poppy's birthday. Now the burden of getting a good gift was lifted of the boys' chests. The rest of their money was spent in the sweet shop and on some new magazines-Severus, one on gardening, and Harry, one on wizarding sports.

The night was unspectacular because Harry and Severus were so exhausted that they fell asleep the moment they were brought to bed by Molly and Arthur. The next morning, both woke up with their plushies in arm even though they swore that they had not taken them to bed. To be honest, both boys liked their stuffed animals. Severus felt very relaxed by the gentle purring of the small cat, and Harry liked to play with the rough and chaotic fur of his wolf.

Charlie came shortly after breakfast and they spent most of the day with him and one of Arthur's toy cars outside in the garage. They made it fly and flip flop when it came close to a wall. When Poppy and Alastor came to fetch them, both boys were sad to leave. The weekend had been very nice.

-II-

"Only three more days until Poppy's birthday. I wonder if she will like the plant," Harry said while he trotted beside Severus.

"Of course she will. She will finally have a plant that reacts to her talking. She will love it," Severus said.

"I can't understand why Hamid didn't want to come with us. I'm so glad that we are allowed to go to Hogsmeade."

"I can't believe they let us go. Until now, they've treated us like infants. 'Don't go here, don't go there, and most important, don't go anywhere alone.'"

"Come on, Severus. They're worried. There are still some-"

"People out there who want us dead. I know, but I hate it. We are not even allowed to stay alone in our quarters for one weekend. No, we have to spend time at the Burrow."

"Yeah, it would be cool to be alone at home for a day or two. We could sneak into Alastor's library."

Severus snorted. "Sneak there alone. I don't want to be unable to sit again, and I also don't want to stand in a stupid corner for the whole day. You, of course, would get away with it easily."

"Dream on. You forget about when I was late and he made me write lines, or when I whined about taking that stupid potion just because Poppy feared I would catch a cold when I got a bit wet outside. He made me stand in the corner for over fifteen minutes and I had an early bedtime. You've never gotten an early bedtime."

"But I'm in the corner more often than you," Severus protested.

"Because you get yourself into much more trouble than me."

"Hmpf."

"Hmpf."

After five minutes of silence, Harry asked, "Where are we supposed to meet Alicia and Oliver?"

"They will wait for us at Honeydukes," Severus stated and pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. His hands were almost fully healed, and Maria came only twice a week now for his exercises, but they hurt in the cold weather. His magic system still was not working properly. No one could explain it. His channel system seemed to develop, but the magic was not flowing correctly through it. He lost a lot of energy from his core when his magic traveled through his channels to his wand or his hands during elemental magic. Something was hindering him. Maybe his unconsciousness. Or maybe he was pressuring himself too much. Radgarid and the other adults always told him to not worry and to stop pressuring himself, but that was easy for them to say. Until now, Severus had not moved even a single grain of sand, and that frustrated him to no end because he could feel the magic in the soil but could not use it.

They were close to Honeydukes when Harry paused. "Did you hear that?"

"What?" Severus asked. He was cold and wanted to get inside one of the shops to get his hands warm again.

"The screaming. It came from over there," Harry said and turned in the direction of a small alley. Severus had his wand out in a second and followed Harry into the alley which became smaller and smaller.

Harry could feel his heart beat in his chest and he clutched his wand tightly. The screams were awful and became louder and louder. It sounded as if a small child was screaming in agony. When Harry tried to step around a corner, Severus grabbed his shoulder and pushed him behind himself.

Severus made sure Harry would stay behind him and rounded the corner. What met his eyes made him stop and freeze in shock. Two boys stood in the dark alley holding a small creature-a cat if Severus was guessing right. The animal screamed because the boys had broken its legs and were poking one of its eyes out with a knife. "Stop it!" Severus screamed. Images were racing through his mind. His father standing over him with his belt, screaming at him that he was scum. He felt the pain of the poor cat as he had felt the welts on his body from the belt. But the worst was that he felt the shock and confusion at those boys who were actually hurting the poor creature. Severus had felt like that before. He had not understood how someone who should love him would hurt him like this. He wanted them to stop, and he wanted the creature to flee. It had to live and see that not all people were cruel.

The boys laughed evilly and poked the knife deeper while the other boy held the cat. "And what if I don't? I like its screaming. Nobody will miss this stupid worthless piece of scum. It wouldn't have survived the winter." He pulled the knife out of the cat's eye and grabbed it from his friend. "Time to snap your neck."

"No!" Severus screamed and ran over to them.

Everything happened in slow motion and then suddenly sped up. Severus' feet were moving on their own when the blond boy closed his hands around the cat's head and looked provokingly at Severus. Out of the corner of his eye, Severus could see the other boy draw his wand. Then the healthy eye of the cat met his and the world stood still. The creature was causing something to shift inside his head and a wave ran through his whole body. The cat was pleading for him to help, and Severus had to be able to do so. How much had he always hoped someone would help him when his father beat him and treated him like he was not worth anything?

It felt like an explosion. Blue light was all around Severus and he could only hear a buzzing in his ears. He saw the boys fall down. He realized that he was on his knees and tried to struggle for control over his limbs to get to the animal and protect it. The buzzing was painful, and he felt as if he weighed a ton.

Hands were touching his shoulder, and he was turned onto his back. He tried to struggle because he could not see the cat anymore. The cat was all that mattered. He needed to protect her. "It must live. It can't die. I need to protect it. Let me go!"

He could not see who was holding him down. It was as if his eyes were made to only see the cat. He could not hear it over the buzzing, and he only remembered how it had hit the ground and remained motionless. It could not be dead. No, it just could not. Slowly, the buzzing stopped and he could hear voices.

"Severus, you should not move. Please lay down," Albus said and tried to press Severus down, but the long-haired boy still tried to get closer to the cat.

"The cat! I must rescue it. It mustn't die. Let me see it."

"Severus, you are hurt. You need to stay still. The Healers will be here soon."

"No!" He fought with all his might.

"Look, Sev, I have it. Harry and I will take care of it." Hagrid's head appeared in Severus' vision, and he looked down to see the cat in Hagrid's hands. It was motionless and its eyes were closed.

"I failed. I left her alone," Severus said miserably and then the world went black.

X-X

The light was too bright for his room. Severus blinked, and then he realized with horror that he was not in his room. He was not even in the Hospital Wing. This was a hospital. His head hurt and his whole body was prickling oddly. He heard a shuffling beside him and turned his head to see Alastor entangling himself from a soft armchair at his bedside.

"How are you, my boy?" Alastor looked old and very tired. Something bad must have happened. Severus tried to remember.

"What happened?"

"James will be here soon. Just don't move too much, Severus."

Avoiding answers was not a good sign, and Severus racked his brain about what had happened.

The door opened and James came in. "Hello, Severus. How are you feeling?"

"What happened? Why am I in a clinic?"

"Why don't you answer my question first, and then we will try to find the answers to yours?"

Severus groaned. "My head is hurting and my body is...prickling. As if my limbs have fallen asleep."

"Okay, let's see what we can find," James said more to himself then to Severus and started to wave his wand. Then he laid his hand on Severus' chest and forehead.

"What happened?" Severus asked again and looked at Alastor. His adoptive father was looking so concerned that Severus became scared.

"Stop trying to remember, Severus. The memory will come back soon enough. Try to sit up." James helped Severus and then gave him his wand.

"Maybe we should wait, James," Alastor said and stepped closer to Severus.

Severus looked puzzled first at Alastor and then at James. What was going on?

"No, I want him to try. Come on, Severus, light your wand."

Severus stared at James but then waved his wand. A jet of magic flew from Severus' core through his body and arm before exploding out of his wand. The light was so bright that Severus could not see anything for the next few seconds and let his wand drop. "What the hell was that?"

"Your magic," James said, grinning. "I suggest you learn to control the amount of energy you use from now, but first I need to check how much you have used right now and how long you will need to refill it."

It was as if the magic had flashed the fog in his mind away and suddenly Severus could remember the alley, the boys, and the cat. "The cat! Hagrid. I need to see him."

"Easy, Severus," James said and pressed Severus back onto the bed and let calming magic flow into him.

"Is it alive?" Severus feared the answer, but he needed to know. The silence that followed made him close his eyes. A hot pain went though his chest.

"You can see Hagrid in a few hours. He will come over, Severus. Try to sleep until then." The magic flow changed and Severus fell asleep. The worry about the cat had been so prominent that he did not realize what he had done with his wand a few minutes ago.

X-X

"Hey, Sev. How are yeh?" Hagrid asked while he sat down on the stool beside Severus' bed. It creaked dangerously but seemed to withstand the half giant's weight.

"Is it dead?"

Hagrid looked sad. He looked around as if to check if the coast was clear. Carefully, he reached into his cloak and pulled out a small black thing. "Poppy helped me, but he's in a bad shape. It seems he had quite a shock and has now lost his will to live."

Severus eyed the tiny creature. It fit perfectly in Hagrid's hand. "Can I?"

"Here," Hagrid said and placed the cat beside Severus on the bed.

Severus gently touched the cat and stroked its fur. When he scratched it behind its ear, it moved a bit and started to purr. Severus could see the eye, or rather the place where the eye should have been. It was stitched closed.

"He's real tiny. He isn't eating. His bones are healed, and there migh' be a chance that his eye will get better. Maybe he could even see with it, at least a bit. Unfortunately, he's not willing to live."

"But you need to live, little one," Severus said and pulled the cat closer. He lifted his blanket over half of the cat and patted its head. Eventually, the cat lifted its head and turned around to look with his good eye at Severus. Again, Severus had the feeling the cat was looking directly into his soul, and he tried to give the tiny creature a message with his eyes. He tried to convince the cat to live. "I will take care of you. I will show you that not all people are like them. Please, you need to eat."

"Hagrid," James said, scolding, when he came into the room. "When the nurses see this, they will go berserk." He quickly closed the door.

"But Sev needed to see him. He was worried."

James sighed and steeped closer. "And you think now he is less worried?" He looked skeptically at the small cat.

Hagrid shrugged. "He needed to see him."

"I won't let you take him away from me! I promised to take care of him." Severus looked challengingly at James.

"Let me check you, Severus. Maybe I can let you go home after we've had a talk."

Severus lay still while James scanned him. When he was finished, he looked at Hagrid. "Take the cat with you. I will talk with Severus. He can return home in about an hour."

"No!" Severus protested and pulled the cat closer, careful not to hurt or startle it. "I won't leave him alone again. You cannot make me!"

"Severus, you can see him in an hour."

"No!"

James sighed. "Fine."

Severus looked up, surprised. He had not thought James would give in so easily.

When Hagrid left, James sat down in a big armchair and watched Severus.

"What?" Severus asked, annoyed. Severus had accepted James as his Healer, but he still felt safer around Maria, especially when it came to talking about uncomfortable topics. Not that Severus ever easily agreed to speak about things that unsettled him with Maria.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Severus? You did some very impressive accidental magic in the alley. The two boys were hit hard and are still at St. Mungo's."

Severus frowned. "You don't want me to feel sorry for them, do you? They tortured the cat. Nobody should do something like that to someone or something."

"Was it the first time you saw someone doing something like this to someone else?"

Severus looked at James as if he had gone mad. "I was a Death Eater, remember?"

"I just want to talk with Severus the teenager now. The memories of your first and your new childhood should be prominent in your mind right now. Or do you remember memories of your time as a Death Eater lately?"

"No," Severus muttered and cradled the cat in his lap. He had not thought about his former adult self a lot lately.

"So just answer my question and leave your memories of the adult Severus out of this."

Severus did not want to talk about it. "I'm tired. Maybe I should sleep. I lost a lot of magic, right?"

"Why don't you want to answer my question, Severus?" James asked as calm as ever.

"I'm just tired. You and Maria and Poppy always say I should listen to my body and lay down if I'm tired."

"But you aren't listening to your body right now, because otherwise you would talk with me to get whatever is burdening you off your chest."

"There is nothing. I just wanted to help a cat that got tortured."

"Tell me about your former experiences of situations like that."

"I never saw someone torture a cat before."

"Maybe not a cat. What about another animal?"

So James had no idea what had really triggered that accidental magic. Severus saw his chance. "I saw someone...torture a dog."

James eyed Severus for some time and then stated very calmly, "I can tell when you are lying to me, Severus. Would you feel better talking to Maria about it?"

"You can't tell if I'm lying or not. You aren't allowed to use Legilimency on me." The cat meowed miserably to show its displeasure at Severus' loud tone. "I'm sorry, little one. I will never shout at you. You don't have to be scared of me."

"Have you ever been scared of someone who shouted at you, Severus?"

Severus glared at James. He hated it when he or Maria always interpreted his actions or his words and tried to find a deeper meaning behind them. "I'm tired."

"You're trying to avoid my questions, Severus. Accidental magic at your age is very unusual, and the amount of magic you set free in that alley was even more unusual. Until now, I've only seen things like this happen if someone has repressed something for a long time and a traumatic event set those memories and feelings free. What did you suppress, Severus? What have you seen or experienced that made you lose control in the alley?"

"Nothing," Severus said quickly.

James looked thoughtfully at Severus for a moment. "Tell me who you would feel able to speak about it to."

"There is nothing to speak about. I'm all right. Nobody did this to me. Nobody..." He stopped, realizing that he had said too much, even though James had not moved a muscle and was looking as calm as before.

"Those memories and the feeling that is attached to it won't go away on their own. You need to talk about it."

"It was out of my mind for a long time. Talking about it will not make it better. It's only back because you all won't stop poking around."

"I have not been in that alley, Severus. Something else had brought that memory back up from wherever you had buried it in your mind."