-II-

Poppy told him to stay still and waved her wand over him. Then she waved her wand over the tray and only one more role, a glass of apple juice and an orange remained on it. "You will finish this without giving Remus any more trouble or you will spend the rest of the day in a bed in my Hospital Wing. Is that clear, Severus?"

"Yes, Poppy," Severus said, defeated.

When she left, Severus glared at Remus again. "You could have warned me."

"And then you would have eaten? I know you well enough, Severus. And what are you complaining about? You got rid of half of what was left on your tray."

"Hmpf."

Remus chuckled and started his grading again.

-II-

The week had passed agonizingly slow, but at least Alastor had made clear Severus was forgiven and still loved. Radgarid also was not in trouble as the McConnors were more shocked about their son's behavior rather than Severus' defense reaction. The counseling Greg had gotten until now should have shown some results, but it seemed the hate was too deep.

Severus had apologized to Radgarid at least six times and still felt as if he had to apologize whenever he saw Hamid or Radgarid, so Severus tried to avoid them. He was not allowed to train with Hamid or Radgarid, and Severus knew he would never feel like asking for it again. That he was sure about. Right now Severus was glad the two had left for India to spend Christmas there. That was the only good thing Severus could think about right now. He was sure he had destroyed the first real Christmas he could have had with his action in the greenhouse. He did not care that he would not get any gifts now, but he still felt awkward being around Alastor and Poppy knowing how much he had disappointed them.

Harry was looking forward to Christmas, but Severus was not. He knew how important the whole holiday was for Poppy. He had spent enough Christmas Eves with them. They had sat down in the living room with a special bottle of red wine, listened to Christmas music, and played cards. At midnight, they had exchange presents and hugs. Poppy had always expressed her love to him more clearly at that time of the year because that was the time when Severus accepted her hugs and kisses on his forehead or his cheeks without much protest. Severus had always known he would have some peace after because the quarters were his alone from Christmas to the 27th because Alastor and Poppy would visit their relatives.

This year, everything would be different. Before Severus had his escapade in the greenhouse, Poppy and Alastor had announced that they would get their presents on Christmas Eve so that they would have time to use whatever they got. There would be no time for that the next day because they had to pack and leave for Alastor's relatives' after breakfast.

Now, everything would be depressing for Severus. He did not care that he would get no presents. He never received any as a child. His mother had been too afraid of his father to give him anything, and his father always knew that he was bad and did not deserve gifts. Lately, Severus had to talk a lot about his first childhood because James and Maria somehow always got him to talk in their sessions. It was painful, but at least he had been able to sleep much better. Except for the past week. Especially tonight. Sadly, Severus petted Paulus, who lay curled up on his chest. Harry slept soundly in the bed next to Severus', most likely dreaming of how wonderful Christmas Eve would be for him.

The presents Severus and Harry had bought and made for Poppy and Alastor stood mockingly close to Severus' bed. No, I don't care that I'm not getting any presents, Severus told himself again to fight against the stabbing pain in his chest. I don't deserve any. He hoped they would still accept his presents. With great effort, Severus had tried to convince Harry to not give them the photo they had taken and framed with a self-made frame. Severus feared they would no longer want it, but Harry had called him stupid and told him hundreds of time that Alastor and Poppy had forgiven him and did not think he was Dark. Yes, they had told Severus so themselves, and Alastor had even taken him aside on Friday to tell him again that he was forgiven, but Severus still felt so bad about it, so guilty, that he could not believe him.

All his pleas to leave him home for Christmas had fallen on deaf ears. He had to join them for their family visits. There were so many reasons why Severus was afraid of it. First, he was sure it would be better for Poppy and Alastor to only show their good son to their relatives. They all knew Severus as an adult but not as a teenager, and when they heard about what he had done-Severus did not even want to think about it. Then Severus was afraid of getting in trouble again. Alastor's brothers were stern men, and Severus did not want to get in trouble with them. Still, he felt as if trouble was seeking him out and he had no chance of avoiding it. Alastor's family would include his brothers' children and grandchildren, so there was an even greater chance of getting in trouble. At Poppy's relatives', there would be no children as they would have already spent Christmas Eve and Day at Poppy's oldest sister's house. It would only be the three sisters and their husbands. That "only" was treacherous. They were all Healers and mediwitches and knew Severus. Some had even helped Poppy care for Severus when he had come back from some of the nastier meetings with the Dark Lord. Severus knew they would fuss over him, and the potion accident that had de-aged him would be even more of a reason for fussing. The chance that his problems with his hands would be discovered would be even higher. Severus would do everything to prevent that because he did not want Maria to start the training again.

Harry turned and coughed harshly. He had done so at least ten times in the last two hours. Was he getting ill? Poppy had caught him flying without a jacket two days ago, and Harry had been grounded from flying for the holidays. Harry had even started to cry, but Poppy had stayed calm. Severus was sure he would have gotten a swat for it in addition to grounding. It was so unfair. Not that he wished for Harry to get a swat, but Severus felt that they should punish them the same way. Harry had cried as if he had gotten a beating, and not even Severus had been able to get him out of it. Maybe Severus should try that tactic as well, but no, he would never embarrass himself in front of them like that. For Harry, it was okay. He was the little brother. At least that's what Severus told himself. Another cough came from the bed beside him and Severus started to worry. Harry had been so happy about the holidays, especially Christmas Eve. It would be horrible if he was sick.

The door opened and light flooded into the room. Severus quickly closed his eyes to pretend he was sleeping. The mattress dipped beside him and a hand was placed on his forehead. The hand was big and rough, and Severus knew that it was Alastor's.

"I have the sick one." Severus could hear Poppy from the other bed. She must have placed her hand on Harry's forehead.

"Then I think I have the one who's pretending to be asleep, right, Severus?" Alastor asked in a soft voice.

Severus slowly opened his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't want to wake you."

"Nightmare?" Alastor asked, worried, as he brushed a loose wisp of hair out of Severus' face.

"No, just..."

"Just?"

Severus sighed. "I just can't sleep."

Movements from Harry's bed made them both look over. Poppy had woken Harry, who now looked around, puzzled, before starting to cough again.

"You're ill, Harry. Here, drink this. It will help your cough and will stop you from developing a fever." Poppy held a spoon of some syrupy potion to Harry's mouth.

"No, I don't want to be sick. It's Christmas," Harry wailed.

"I know, but with a bit of luck, the potion will work over night and prevent you from getting sicker. Now take it, Harry."

Harry obeyed and was surprised that it tasted good, not like the potion she often forced them to drink as a precaution when some of the students had come down with colds.

Another coughing fit shook Harry's body, and Poppy patted his back. Then Harry sank tiredly back into bed and fell asleep.

Poppy came over to Severus, laid her hand on his forehead, and then pulled out the horrible precaution potion.

Severus screwed his face. "Do I really have to?"

"Yes, or do you want to get sick, too?"

Severus shook his head and swallowed the disgusting liquid.

"So why are you still up?" Poppy asked.

Severus shrugged.

"You're not still worried about us being mad, right?" Alastor asked, letting his magical eye roam over Severus' face to check for any slight movements. It was not hard to read Severus' expressions now that he was twelve, but it was an old habit, and old habits die hard.

"Severus, I thought we had cleared that up already. I'm not mad, nor is Poppy. We will spend a lovely Christmas Eve tomorrow...today, and then we will spend a few days with our relatives."

"But I'm bad."

"No, you are not. We told you this so many times now, Severus. What do we have to do to get that in your thick head?" Alastor asked while he gently knocked his knuckles against Severus' forehead.

"You thought I would become Dark again."

"And I apologized for that. I thought you were mature enough to understand and accept my apology, but maybe I was wrong."

"I'm mature," Severus protested.

"Then you should understand that in the heat of the moment we sometimes say things or make the wrong conclusions. When we think about it with some distance or help we understand that it was wrong. You are not turning Dark again, Severus. That debacle in the greenhouse was bad, but had nothing to do with being Dark or Light."

Severus bit his lower lip.

"Stop, Severus." Poppy nudged his lip out from between his teeth with her fingers. "I think it's time to sleep. Maybe experience will teach you that your fears are uncalled for. We just have to wait for this day to come to an end. Now, you need to sleep. So, open your mouth."

"No please," Severus protested, but before he could close his mouth, Poppy had pushed the spoon full of Sleeping Draught past his lips.

X-X

Harry had to spend the next day almost completely in bed, and Severus kept him company. He was only allowed to leave their quarters for the big feast in the Great Hall with the three students who had to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays. During the evening, Harry was wrapped in a blanket with a Warming Spell on the couch while Poppy taught him and Severus some Christmas songs that they had to sing when they were visiting their relatives. Severus had almost forgotten to breathe when Poppy had announced that. When Poppy was satisfied with their singing, or rather when Harry was too exhausted to go on, they had stopped and Poppy had brought a hot chocolate for Severus, warm milk with honey for Harry, hot punch for herself, and tea with some rum for Alastor. Then Alastor read them all a story. Harry had fallen asleep during the story and Severus had to wake him to get the presents for Poppy and Alastor shortly before ten. Another dose of the potion Poppy had been feeding him all day gave him an energy push.

Severus was shocked when he came back in the living room to see so many presents under the tree. Harry must have gotten gifts from everyone who knew him. Harry was more excited about giving his adoptive parents the presents than getting any himself, but he could not resist glancing at the colorful parcels under the tree.

Severus sat down on the couch while Harry gave Alastor and Poppy their gifts. Severus was sure Harry would bounce up and down and cry, "Open it!" if he was feeling better.

When Poppy saw the moving picture and the self-made frame, she started to cry.

"I told you so," Severus said miserably and stood up to walk out of the room. Alastor calling his name made him stop. He had been in enough trouble over the past month; he did not want to be in even more trouble for not listening when his adoptive father was calling for him.

"Come back here and tell us what this is about," Alastor instructed.

Severus still had not turned. His chest hurt. A hand was gently placed on his neck and he flinched. "Severus, calm down. It's only me." Alastor. "You know you are safe with me."

"Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. Now please come back with me, okay?"

Severus let Alastor guide him back to the couch, but he was not taken to the same couch he had occupied before. No, Alastor was leading him to the couch Poppy sat on and pulled him on his lap when he sat down. "Now, what was that about?"

Severus refused to look up and speak.

"He thinks you don't want him to be in the photo," Harry explained in a hoarse voice.

"Severus, how can you think something like that?" Poppy asked, her voice still affected by her crying.

"You cried."

"I cried because I'm happy, Severus. Only a few months ago, I feared you two would brake over what you had gone through during the war. Seeing the two of you so happy in that photo..." She had to stop because new tears were in her eyes and her throat tightened again.

Harry threw his arms around Poppy. "We are happy because we are with you. We have a home, a family. Right, Severus?" Harry looked over to his brother for help.

Severus could not speak. He just nodded and looked shyly at Poppy.

The mediwitch smiled back and cupped Severus' cheek. "We love you, Severus. And you as well, Harry. Never think otherwise. You always will have a home and a family here with us. No matter what stupid things you do in future."

Harry hugged her tighter, and Severus sighed, relieved.

"Enough melodramatics. I think there are some gifts waiting for you to open them," Alastor said. He chuckled when Harry jumped up, dropping his blanket, and ran over to the Christmas tree.

"Don't you want to go and look, Severus?"

No, he did not want to look at Harry's presents. He could watch him open them from Alastor's lap quite well.

"Here is one for you, Severus," Harry said, excited. He held a big present with green wrapping up and shook it lightly to hear what was in it. "It's heavy and something moves when you shake it."

Severus sat up straight on Alastor's lap. He looked, puzzled, at Harry and then at his adoptive parents. Poppy smiled at him, and Alastor raised an eyebrow. "If you don't want it, I'm sure I can make use of it."

Severus jumped up and ran over to Harry, not turning when he heard Alastor chuckle.

Severus unwrapped the present and found it to be a new Wizard's Chess set, a very cool one with potion utensils as pieces. Severus had only seen a chess set like this once before. It was so cool when the Cauldron blew up in the Potions Brewer's face, or when the Potion Vial exploded when the Potions Mistress put an extra ingredient inside. It would be a bit difficult to remember which utensil stood for which chess piece, but they were very easy to recognize. The Cauldrons were the rooks, the Potion Vials were the bishops, the Burners were the knights, and the Bezoars were the pawns. The king and the queen were the Potions Brewer and the Potions Mistress.

Severus was still looking, fascinated, at his Wizard's Chess set when Harry hit him with another box. "This is also yours."

Severus was perplexed and overwhelmed. Another present? This time, it was wrapped in purple paper, and Severus checked twice if it really was for him. His name was on it, but there was no other writing. He expected it was from Poppy and Alastor. He threw a short and shy glance over to them and Alastor nodded encouraging at him. Poppy was taking pictures with a magical camera.

It was a book about plants, and it was a very rare one. Severus ran a finger down' the spine. Paulus was enjoying himself by jumping through the wrapping that was piled under the tree. His eyeball had healed, but according to Poppy he could only see shapes with it. Still, he behave like any cat. Only when you looked close you saw that his pupil did not changing size like the other did. Poppy had spoken with Severus about cutting Paulus' stiff leg off as he bumped it often by accident, but Severus felt bad about deciding this and had ask them to wait. The cat was looking so healthy beside that leg, but Severus knew it was in the way. Soon, he would have to make a decision.

In the end, there was a big pile of gift wrap, much to Paulus' joy, and Severus and Harry were busy showing each other their gifts. Severus had gotten the Wizard's Chess set, the book about plants, and a fiber glass spoon for potion brewing from Alastor and Poppy. He had gotten a new broom from Albus. Hagrid had given him a book about cats and a manual of how to make toys for cats. He had gotten a small green house from Pomona that he could place on his window sill. Kingsley, Tonks, Remus, and Charlie had given him and Harry tickets for a Quidditch game of their favorite teams, the Tutshill Tornados and Chudley Cannons.

In addition, Harry had gotten a special Quidditch uniform set from Albus, a set of posters of hellhounds and the Chudley Cannons from Alastor and Poppy, and a handmade extra warm mermaid hair scarf from Hagrid-as if he had known Harry would get sick over Christmas. He also got an indoor Snitch, a new card set, and the coolest things ever: a hand-written book by Alastor about the stories his father had told him about hellhounds. Harry had hardly changed into his Animagus form lately, but he still felt very close to it. He had hoped Remus would let him spend time with him during a transformation, but the older man had refused. So Harry hardly saw any use in changing into his hellhound form lately.

Severus read to Harry out of the book when they were finally sent to bed. Even when Harry had fallen asleep, Severus did not stop reading. Only when Poppy came in and took the book away did he rest himself on his pillow and fall asleep to the rhythmical rattling sounds Harry's lung were making.