"They should be happy, Alastor." Poppy shifted closer to Alastor and hid her tears-stained face in his broad chest. The fireplace crackled and the warmth from it heated her skin, but her insides were cold with worry. Depression threatened to overwhelm her lately, and she fought hard to remain sane for the sake of the two men she called her sons.

"They need time, Poppy. Everything will be fine," Alastor said, tired. He felt years older than he had felt while they were still fighting Voldemort. He did not believe his own words, but he tried to be strong for his wife. Every day he saw her becoming more desperate, and he feared she would one day break from all the worrying and sorrow.

Poppy tightened her grip on Alastor's robes and buried her face more forcefully into his chest, trying to suppress the sobs that were already escaping her.

Sighing, Alastor drew Poppy in an even tighter embrace. They needed that kind of contact; it made them feel that they really were not alone. Throughout the day, they tried to be optimistic and cheerful, but they gave in to their stress during the evenings.

"Maybe we should just risk it and make our journey," Alastor suggested uncertainly.

"Severus isn't ready for traveling, Alastor. We both know it. If it wasn't for Harry, he wouldn't even be here." The last words almost did not make it out of her mouth because the lump in her throat became more prominent the more she thought about their current situation.

"Don't say that, Poppy. He will get used to it." Alastor fought against his own tears. He had to be strong. When he broke down, they all would be lost.

"No, he won't. He doesn't see the slow progress of healing as something positive, and soon Harry will fall deep into depression when he isn't able to help him any longer." Poppy sat up again and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Voldemort is dead, and we all survived, but we aren't the family we wanted to be." With that, Poppy stood up and left to seek the loneliness of their bedroom. She knew Alastor wouldn't come to bed soon, and so she would have enough time to cry herself to sleep without worrying him more than she already did.

When Poppy had left the room, Alastor rested his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands. Moments later, tears were leaking through his fingers and silent sobs shook his body.

_____________

Harry lay curled up in a tight ball on his bed. Like every night before, he tried to fall asleep but could not because so many thoughts were going through his head. He felt tired and feared he soon would not have the energy to cheer Severus up any longer. The darkness in him spread from day to day-or, rather, from one of Severus' bad days to the next. Unfortunately, the bad days were becoming more frequent lately. At first, Severus tried to be optimistic and hoped his magic would return, but he was an impatient man and so he wasn't satisfied by the very slow progress he was making.

Harry was very proud of Severus for trying so hard, but he felt that the tiredness he himself had felt over the last few months was getting to Severus as well. The fear that Severus would give up completely one day was strong, and the fear that Harry would not be able to support him just as powerful.

If somebody asked Harry to explain how he felt lately, he would not be able to answer. It was something like a dark seed slowly growing and spreading inside him. This dark plant was cut down by nice moments full of love with Alastor, Poppy, and Severus. His physical pains after the final battle had all healed very quickly, but the emotional pain had not.

On Severus' good days, Harry felt well. He could breathe easier and felt hopeful. They enjoyed brewing together. Severus hands still gave him a lot of problems, but together they were a good team. Their current project was an anti-aging salve for Poppy. She was complaining about the crinkles around her eyes, and so Severus and Harry thought an original concoction would be a great birthday gift for her. This project kept them sane even though so many things had gone wrong lately.

Harry felt Severus become tenser while brewing. Frowning was the only thing Severus was capable of now. Harry could still remember the joyful and relaxed mood in which they had brewed while Voldemort was still alive. Harry chuckled darkly. Imagine that, Harry Potter wishing for Voldemort to be back again.

Harry pulled at his hair. This habit had come back to him a month ago, and this time Severus was not there to hold him back. Poppy and Alastor were not around either. Why should I fight against it when even Poppy seems to have given up? Harry thought, miserable.

He could tell that no sleep would come tonight. The only chance Harry had was changing into his hellhound form, and that he did. He puffed, relieved, when his head cleared instantly. It was so much easier in his hellhound form that he questioned from time to time whether it was even worth it to change back.

_____________

Severus lay curled up in a tight ball in his bed. He held his hands in front of his eyes to study them. For once they were not shaking. The more he worked with them, the more they hurt. Brewing with Harry was all he looked forward to. He could hardly stand normal family life because he could see Poppy breaking about not being able to help him heal more, and as good of an actor as Alastor was, he could not fool Severus either. Severus would never invade their minds, but he guessed he would find the same thoughts in them as in his own. It would have been better to never have used that damn Port Key. Death was better than this.

But there was still Harry. The boy he called his brother. They had looked forward to the time without Voldemort, and it pained Severus more for Harry than himself that this wish had not come true. Severus had thought about suicide very often lately, but he knew that would kill Harry, and so he would never do it. That means unending suffering for me, Severus thought miserably. Being like this will make Poppy and Alastor break sooner or later, but Severus did not have the energy to act happier or more hopeful in their presence. There was no energy left.

If I could get some real sleep, Harry and I would be able to finally finish the potion for Poppy tomorrow, Severus thought angrily and pulled at his hair. The sudden pain in his head and fingers made him stop and made him chuckle insanely. I am not even able to do this anymore.

_____________

Poppy lay curled up in a tight ball on their bed. Alastor had not joined her yet. Tears were still pouring from her eyes. Not only did she doubt her ability of being a good surrogate mother, but she was beginning to lose confidence in her ability as a Mediwitch. What kind of a Mediwitch am I if I can't help Severus and Harry? Both refused to see another Healer, and so Poppy felt alone and overworked. Nobody could help her, not even her husband or her best friends Minerva, Albus, and Pomona. Poppy sighed. Never would she have guessed that life after Voldemort's defeat would be like this.

_____________

Half an hour later, Alastor came into the bedroom, spooning up beside Poppy. She was not asleep. So he kissed her head and mumbled, "Everything will be okay, Poppy. You will see."

Snuggling Alastor's arm tighter to her chest, she replied, "I hope so."

_____________

As always with the first rays of sun, the world looked a bit brighter than the night. Severus and Harry met in the bathroom. "You look horrible," Harry said teasingly.

"You don't look any better, Potter," Severus replied, ruffling Harry's hair. Ignoring the pain this action caused him, Severus went to get his toothbrush.

"Potions lab after breakfast?" Harry asked, his toothbrush between his teeth.

"Don't speak with your mouth full, brat. You really have no manners," Severus scolded him playfully.

Harry was happy that it was a good morning. Maybe it was because they both had good hope that the salve would finally be finished today.

_____________

"They looked much better than yesterday, Poppy," Alastor said to cheer his wife up after breakfast.

Poppy turned form the sink to look seriously at her husband. "You don't have to do that, Alastor."

"What are you talking about?" Alastor asked, puzzled.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You don't have to be the strong one around me. You can't fool me." Seeing that he was thinking about how to respond, she just shook her head sadly. "I had enough time to think, Alastor. I will speak with both of them after lunch. They have to see another Healer. I can't do this anymore. This situation isn't good for anyone. I hope you will be on my side in that conversation."

He stepped closer and hugged her. "Of course I will be."

_____________

"Pay attention, Harry!" Severus scolded him when he let one of the spider legs fall into their project.

"I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well. I'm a bit tired," Harry mumbled. Seeing Severus' skeptical look at the potion, he asked, "What is it?"

"I am not sure. It should not look like that. Something is off. Are you sure that you measured the beetle eggs correctly?"

"Sure I did," Harry said quickly, but to be honest he had gotten confused mid-count and just hoped it was right.

Severus shrugged it off. His fingers were hurting horribly, and he was glad that they would soon be forced to take a break for lunch. "Let us put the last spider legs in and pause for lunch." He grabbed the last spider legs and carefully sprinkled them into the cauldron. "Just a few minutes of simmering before I cast the Stasis charm," Severus mumbled and started cleaning the work table. When he was on his way to the trash can, he heard a faint hissing and turned abruptly. He had only seconds to run over and throw himself in front of Harry before the potion exploded.

_____________

"Where are they?" Poppy asked, worried.

"I'll go get them," Alastor said, standing up from the table.

"I'll go, too. Who knows if they'll talk you into joining them," Poppy said and followed her husband.

Poppy was not looking forward to the conversation after lunch, but something had to change. What Poppy saw when she stepped into the laboratory was not one of the changes she had in mind, but since when did anything ever go like she imagined it?

The whole lab was covered with potion. The cauldron had flown to the other end of the room from the force of the explosion. Behind the workbench lay two boys, and when Poppy and Alastor looked closer, their fears were proven true. They were Severus and Harry. Poppy quickly went into Healer mode and checked the boys while shouting out commands to Alastor.

_____________

"What happened, Poppy?" Albus asked while entering the hospital wing.

"I don't know what they were working on, but it exploded and covered Severus completely. Harry was mostly protected by Severus. A sample of the potion has been sent to St. Mungo's. It doesn't seem to have any negative effects on their health. The only thing that happened is that Severus is now thirteen and Harry is twelve. Their bodies are adjusting to the change and, in Severus' case, to his injuries. Due to his younger bones, his fingers can be completely healed now," Poppy explained. Seeing Albus' questioning look, she added, "Oh, please don't look at me like that, Albus. I'm sorry that I can't see a really bad thing about what happened. You know how they were feeling and behaving lately. We already came to a point were we would have been forced to make drastic decisions, but I wasn't able to talk to them about it because of this accident. Seeing Severus' younger body adjust much better to his injuries, I can't feel bad about this."

Albus sighed. He knew what this small family had gone through in the last month. Depression had befallen them all, and he was very concerned about them. Seeing Poppy happy about an accident like this made it even more clear how desperate they had been. "What about Severus' magic?"

Poppy's face fell. "It's the same, but if he remains young long enough, he may be able to get it back, and he can learn much more easily from the beginning rather than if he was an adult. The only thing I really worry about is whether or not they still have their adult minds and memories." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what to wish for, Albus."

When tears ran over Poppy's cheek, Albus hugged her. "If they revert back to their young minds, they won't remember our family. They won't remember what we went through and how we loved them. I feel bad for wishing that they still remember because if this potion is permanent, it would be much easier for them to live without the old memories," Poppy explained between sobs.

Albus rubbed calming circles on Poppy's back. "Shhh, Poppy. I know. We will just wait and do the best we can. Maybe you should take a Calming Draught."

Poppy pushed out of the embrace and straightened up. "No, I have to be fully aware when they wake. Come on, I'm sure you want to see them."

Albus followed Poppy to the two beds close to her office. Alastor was sitting between the beds, watching his sons. Albus' hand laid on Alastor's shoulder was all that was needed to express his feeling to his old friend.

"They haven't woken up yet, Albus," Alastor stated.

"Then we just have to wait." With that, Albus summoned another chair and sat down beside Alastor to keep him company for a while.

~*~

Albus sighed. He knew what this small family had gone through in the last month. Depression had befallen them all, and he was very concerned about them. Seeing Poppy happy about an accident like this made it even more clear how desperate they had been. "What about Severus' magic?"

Poppy's face fell. "It's the same, but if he remains young long enough, he may be able to get it back, and he can learn much more easily from the beginning rather than if he was an adult. The only thing I really worry about is whether or not they still have their adult minds and memories." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what to wish for, Albus."

When tears ran over Poppy's cheek, Albus hugged her. "If they revert back to their young minds, they won't remember our family. They won't remember what we went through and how we loved them. I feel bad for wishing that they still remember because if this potion is permanent, it would be much easier for them to live without the old memories," Poppy explained between sobs.

Albus rubbed calming circles on Poppy's back. "Shhh, Poppy. I know. We will just wait and do the best we can. Maybe you should take a Calming Draught."

Poppy pushed out of the embrace and straightened up. "No, I have to be fully aware when they wake. Come on, I'm sure you want to see them."

Albus followed Poppy to the two beds close to her office. Alastor was sitting between the beds, watching his sons. Albus' hand laid on Alastor's shoulder was all that was needed to express his feeling to his old friend.

"They haven't woken up yet, Albus," Alastor stated.

"Then we just have to wait." With that, Albus summoned another chair and sat down beside Alastor to keep him company for a while.

~*~

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, confused. He grabbed his throat when he heard his insanely high voice.

"Calm down, Harry," Alastor said and took Harry's hand from his throat to hold it with his own.

Harry looked around frantically. "What happened? What's wrong with my voice?"

"Poppy will be here in a second, Harry. Then we will explain," Alastor said, and as if on cue, Poppy sneaked through the curtain that was around Harry's bed.

"What happened, Poppy? Why do I sound like a girl?" Suddenly, Harry started to really panic and tried to peak under the blanket. Only Poppy's quick reflexes stopped him.

"Harry, calm down and tell me what you remember last," Poppy said, holding Harry's hand.

Very scared, Harry looked back and forth between Poppy and Alastor, who each held one of his hands. Something very bad must have happened. He racked his brain until he remembered the Potions accident. It was crazy because feelings overwhelmed him that almost felt like they were not his own. He was not normally so panicky and easily scared like he was right now. Seeing the accident in his mind made him almost wet himself in fear what could have happened. "Severus? Where is he? Is he okay?"

"What do you remember, Harry?" Poppy asked again while sitting down on Harry's bed, placing Harry's hand in her lap.

"The potion...it exploded...Severus threw himself over me. What happened to him?" To Harry's great confusion, he felt tears running down his cheeks. He wanted a hug. Never had he felt like this. Not even when he was younger. His relatives never gave him the feeling that a hug would make him feel better. The time with Poppy and Alastor had changed him, but he had never felt like this. It was immature in Harry's eyes. Pleadingly, he looked at Poppy for an answer.

"He is alive, Harry. Don't worry," Poppy said, stroking Harry's hair.

"Is he hurt badly?" How much worse could it be? Harry thought, but then pictures of Severus without his hands came to mind, and Harry turned green. "Poppy, I-" He could not finish his sentence because he felt the urge to throw up. Poppy was a better Mediwitch than she gave herself credit for lately and quickly had a basin placed in front of Harry.

Alastor sat down behind Harry and steadied him through his dry-heaving.

While Harry leaned, tired, over the bowl, he saw his hands for the first time. He put his right hand in front of his face. "My hands...they are too small and soft." Questioningly, he looked up at Poppy.

Alastor pulled Harry against his chest while Poppy sighed. When the basin was Vanished, Poppy sat down again and took the hand Harry still was examining, puzzled. "Harry, what were you two brewing?"

Harry looked confused at Poppy. "It is a surprise for you. I can't tell you."

Poppy breathed deeply. "You obviously must have made a mistake as I don't expect you wanted to surprise me with a De-Aging Potion," Poppy said carefully.

"De-Aging? No, we...damn, don't tell me...oh, Merlin-"

"Harry, calm down, lad." Alastor pulled Harry tighter to his chest. "We will find a solution for this."

"What... how old am I?" Harry asked, scared. Again, crazy feelings overwhelmed him, and he wanted to melt into Alastor's embrace, not only to find comfort like his sixteen-year-old self would want, but also to feel safe and to let Alastor take all the fear and responsibility from him.

"You are twelve, Harry. Your body has de-aged and even a bit of your magic has regressed. I fear it's the part you gained in training over the last year, maybe even more from before that. I cannot tell for sure before I take some more tests, but it seems you still have your sixteen-year-old memories," Poppy explained.

"I feel weird. Overwhelmed. Do you think it's just a side effect?" Harry asked, worried. So many questions were in his head, and he could hardly decide which to ask first.

"No, Harry. That's how a normal twelve-year-old would feel. Your memories are everything you have of your sixteen-year-old self. Like I said, I fear your magic has regressed to what you were capable of at twelve, but as you still have the memories, your magic will develop more quickly than the first time," Poppy explained softly.

"First time? You mean this is permanent? I have to grow up again?" Harry looked shocked at his surrogate mother.

"I cannot say, Harry. I sent a sample to St. Mungo's. De-Aging Potions are almost always reversible, but whatever you two were brewing was not a De-Aging Potion," Poppy said gravely.

Harry stared into the distance for a while. When he was able to sort all the thoughts in his mind, he remembered Severus. He had shielded him from most of the potion, right? "What about Severus? Is he...I mean, is he de-aged as well?"

"Yes, Harry. It seems Severus was hit by the potion almost completely. He is thirteen now," Poppy said, smiling insecurely.

"Thirteen?" Harry said, lost in thought. Looking at Poppy, he finally asked, "Can I see him?"

Alastor ruffled Harry's hair and shifted off of the bed. "He is still sleeping. We will inform you as soon as he is awake and ready to speak with you."

Poppy lifted the headboard up so Harry could sit up. "I will bring you something to eat, Harry." She gently cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead. "We will work this out. We are here for you and Severus as we have been all along. We will remain your guardians."

After Harry had eaten his meal, he asked to be left alone for a while. He regretted the decision after only a few minutes because he felt very alone. This feeling stopped him from forming clear thoughts. I have to go to school again. I have to learn it all again. Ron and Hermione are in their 6th year without me now. Oh, Merlin, do they already know? When was the accident? Damn, why didn't I ask Poppy? Maybe Ron and Hermione already are worrying where I am. Or was it still the weekend? Harry looked around and hoped Poppy or Alastor would come back. He forced down the urge to cry out for them. Twelve-year-old emotions are annoying, Harry thought, frustrated.

The beginning of Harry's sixth year had been hard enough with his depression and nightmares. He could hardly concentrate on school. To be honest, he could not concentrate at all. All he could think about was that Severus was getting worse and worse instead of better. Now it was in the middle of October, and Harry had learned almost nothing. Without Hermione, he would have given up. Professor Dumbledore did not find it very surprising or alarming. ‘You can repeat the year, Harry. Take time to heal,' was all Dumbledore ever said about it. Now I have to repeat almost my whole school career, and I have to go to classes with kids that are younger than me. Harry pulled a disgusted face. He did not want to go to school again. The knowledge was all in his head, right? Yeah, maybe I can convince Dumbledore to let me just stay in sixth year, Harry thought hopefully.

_______

His head hurt, and he grabbed for it. Groaning, he opened his eyes, but a bright light blinded him.

"Shh, Severus. Easy," Alastor said when Severus tried to sit up. "I will help you. Just stay where you are."

Alastor pulled the headboard up and sat down beside Severus. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," Severus said and rubbed his temples. He began to see clearer and notice his pale hands. There were almost no yellow stains from Potions brewing. The first thought was that he had burned off his skin and Poppy had had to regrow it, but then he would have been out for weeks and it did not feel like it had been that long.

"Severus," Alastor said, but did not know what to say. He just took Severus' hand in his and drew gentle circles with his thumb on it. "You remember the accident?"

"Of course, I do. I knew something was wrong when the potion turned that particular shade of yellow, but I had not thought it would react so violently," Severus muttered almost to himself. He threw a quick glance at Poppy as she entered through the white curtain, but then he looked at his hand in Alastor's. Something was off, but he could not put his finger on it.

"Severus," Poppy said affectionately, stroking his cheek.

Something was definitely off because he enjoyed this way too much, and it did not felt as awkward as it normally did. "I feel...strange," Severus said, and was surprised by the slight screech in his voice. Confused, he looked around. "What's wrong with me?"

"Severus, promise me that you'll remain calm and let me explain," Poppy said.

Severus looked, shocked, at her. What the hell is wrong with me? What could be worse than the last few months? The Dark Lord had made sure he was a cripple, so what could be worse?

"I'm waiting for an answer, young man," Poppy said sternly.

"Young man? What is wrong with you, Poppy?" Severus asked, annoyed, but the feeling he got after this remark frightened him. He felt sorry for saying it. He feared Poppy would be mad at him for being disrespectful. What the hell is wrong? Why do I feel like this? Severus asked himself, starting to panic.

Alastor stood up again and towered over him. Towered over him? Since when was Alastor that big? Slowly, Severus put two and two together, and then he screamed bloody murder.

"Calm down, Severus!" Alastor commanded after Poppy had tried unsuccessfully several times to soothe him.

Severus stopped abruptly, looking shocked and a bit scared at Alastor. Automatically, Severus scooted closer to Poppy.

"Severus, please calm down," Poppy tried again and hugged the shocked child. "We will sort this out. It's not as bad as you think it is. It even holds much advantage for you."

"Advantage? How can being a kid be an advantage? Kid?! Damn, I do not use words like that. My mind and feelings are tricking me," Severus said, and to his great embarrassment, he felt hot tears run over his cheeks. "And I do not cry!"

Poppy shook her head and hugged Severus tighter. "It's okay to cry, Severus. We know it must be hard for you to accept being a teenager again. The bright side is that I can heal your fingers now, Severus. Maybe you can use your hands in a few months with as much mobility as you had before Voldemort tortured you. That's something good, isn't it?"

Severus shook his head in misery. "I want to be adult again. We must find an antidote."

Alastor leaned over and cupped Severus' cheek. "You know as well as we do that an antidote for an unstable De-Aging Potion will be almost impossible to find. We will try our best. The potion is at St. Mungo's for testing, but until we know for sure if something can be done, we have to make the best out of the situation. You and Harry-"

"Harry! Oh, Merlin, how is he? Is he-?" Severus started to panic and tried to free himself from Poppy's grip, but it was useless; he was not strong enough. He was just a skinny thirteen-year-old.

"Severus, stop, or I will get a Calming Draught for you," Poppy said warningly.

The threat worked, and Severus calmed down enough for Alastor to go on. "As I was saying, you and Harry are teenagers now. Harry is twelve and you are thirteen-" He stopped because Severus had started to hyperventilate, and Poppy finally summoned a Calming Draught. Without much resistance, Alastor gave Severus the potion while Poppy held him.

"Severus, there is nothing bad about being thirteen. Calm down. Shhh...." Poppy gently calmed Severus.

"Severus, can I continue?" Alastor asked patiently.

Severus nodded sadly, and Alastor felt real pity for the boy. "As you are under-aged now as well, you need a guardian. Poppy and I have taken custody of you and Harry. We hope that this is okay with you, but we had to act quickly so that the Ministry could not interfere. At the moment, you will be treated like any thirteen-year-old under Wizarding law, and with your magic problems, we feared the youth welfare office would send you off to St. Mungo's if we did not act quickly."

Alastor waited to see if Severus would react verbally to this, but Severus just cried silently. Sighing, Alastor went on. "We know it isn't easy for you because you loved your independence. We will try to respect this, but as you are thirteen now we need to treat you as such. Your feelings, emotions, and mind are that of a thirteen-year-old. In the next few days, your mind will most likely shut a few memories away to handle the amount of memories in your brain right now. See it as a chance for a better childhood. You lived freely with us as an adult, so it's nothing to panic about as a child. We will take care of you."

"But I am an adult," Severus said miserably.

"No, Severus, you aren't. You just have the memories. The feeling of being adult will fade soon, and it will be easier for you to accept it."

"I won't remember being an adult after a few days?" Severus asked between sobs, looking up into Poppy's face.

"Of course you will remember. It will just be less troubling for you to think and feel because you will start to think and feel like a thirteen-year-old. Memories of complex spells or from your time as a Death Eater will be the ones that you mind will suppress for later. This is only a guess, Severus; we have to wait to know for sure how your mind will react," Poppy said, stroking his hair.

"I do not have to go to school, do I?" Severus asked, worried.

Alastor sighed. "You are thirteen, Severus. The law treats you as a thirteen-year-old, and that means you have to go to school. You need to rebuild your magic, and you have a much better chance to do so in this state. Going to school again will help to become as good as you were before Voldemort destroyed your magic. Or at least almost as good. We will train together, Severus, if you would like to. You really have a much better chance to heal right now. We love you, Severus. We will take care of you."

Severus sobbed and threw himself at Alastor. The old man pulled him closer until Severus was on his lap. The soothing sounds Alastor made and the calming circles he drew on his back finally made Severus fall asleep.

~*~

"But I am an adult," Severus said miserably.

"No, Severus, you aren't. You just have the memories. The feeling of being adult will fade soon, and it will be easier for you to accept it."

"I won't remember being an adult after a few days?" Severus asked between sobs, looking up into Poppy's face.

"Of course you will remember. It will just be less troubling for you to think and feel because you will start to think and feel like a thirteen-year-old. Memories of complex spells or from your time as a Death Eater will be the ones that you mind will suppress for later. This is only a guess, Severus; we have to wait to know for sure how your mind will react," Poppy said, stroking his hair.

"I do not have to go to school, do I?" Severus asked, worried.

Alastor sighed. "You are thirteen, Severus. The law treats you as a thirteen-year-old, and that means you have to go to school. You need to rebuild your magic, and you have a much better chance to do so in this state. Going to school again will help to become as good as you were before Voldemort destroyed your magic. Or at least almost as good. We will train together, Severus, if you would like to. You really have a much better chance to heal right now. We love you, Severus. We will take care of you."

Severus sobbed and threw himself at Alastor. The old man pulled him closer until Severus was on his lap. The soothing sounds Alastor made and the calming circles he drew on his back finally made Severus fall asleep.

~*~

Breathe, damn it, breathe! Severus ordered himself mentally. The white curtain was inches away from his face as he tried to calm down enough to pull it away.

"I can see you standing behind the curtain," Harry said, amused. The urge to giggle stopped his amusement because it proved again that he was a twelve-year-old boy now and not a sixteen-year-old.

Severus sighed and pulled the curtain back nervously to face Harry.

Harry looked stunned at person he considered his older brother. Severus was thin, very thin, and he looked very sad. Harry suddenly felt pity. "You look thin," Harry stated dumbly.

"Yeah," Severus said, but scolded himself inwardly for using slang. Shyly, he went over to Harry's bed and sat down on it. A heavy silence lay over them while Severus studied his long, white fingers and Harry looked, transfigured, at Severus' sad countenance. Severus' long hair was covering half of his face, but Harry still had enough to stare at.

"So you are not happy to be young again?" Harry asked carefully to break the silence.

Severus head snapped up, and he blushed. "Have you heard me?"

"Heard what?" Harry asked, puzzled.

Severus relaxed a bit when he realized that Poppy had cast a Silencing Charm on the curtains and that Harry had not heard his tantrum. "Nothing."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Fantastic!" he said sullenly.

Severus looked up, confused. "What?"

"Why don't you tell me? We are almost the same age now. You can't use the 'it's adult stuff' excuse any longer," Harry stated.

"I'm still older. Much older!" Severus glared at Harry.

"Only one year," Harry protested.

"One year and a half," Severus insisted.

Harry groaned. "That's not much!"

"It is!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"Boys!" Alastor said, scolding, while pulling the curtain open.

"Severus, you shouldn't be out of bed," Poppy said sternly.

"I wanted to see him!" Severus protested. Seeing Poppy's stern expression, he added, "And I'm just fine!"

"You are far from fine, lad," Alastor said, friendlier this time. He laid his hand on Severus' neck and did not draw back when the boy flinched. "It's okay, Severus. Remember, you can trust us!"

Severus relaxed into the caress of Alastor's gentle massaging.

"It's time to go home, boys," Poppy said, smiling.

Harry happily jumped off the bed. He hated the hospital wing, no matter how old he was. "Ehm...could I speak with the headmaster?"

"Me, too!" Severus cried out quickly.

Poppy threw a measuring glance at both of them. "Why do you want to speak with him?"

Both boys blushed, knowing very well that Poppy would not like what they wanted to talk with the headmaster about.

"I think we will relocate this conversation into the living room. I'm sure Albus would love to join us for tea," Alastor offered.

His wife agreed, and so they entered seconds later their quarters via the secret passage through the old Healer's portrait in Poppy's office.

Soon they were sitting around the living room table, and Albus had joined them.

"Nice to see you two up and well. You gave us quite the shock," Albus said with a twinkle in his eyes. Harry gnawed nervously on his bottom lip, and Severus looked everywhere but at the old man.

"Here you go," Poppy said and handed Severus and Harry a hot chocolate. While Harry took it gratefully and inhaled the scent, Severus pulled a face.

"I don't like hot chocolate. Can't I have coffee?" Severus asked sulkily. He already knew the answer, and he was sure coffee would not even taste good anymore, but he wanted to prove that he was still an adult. He could already feel his mind adjusting to his thirteen year-old self, but he still tried to fight it. The hot chocolate smelled good and it was very tempting to take a sip.

"Just try it, Severus. Your taste will most likely have changed," Poppy said patiently.

Grumpily, Severus took a sip and could not stop himself from sighing delightedly at the taste of the liquid in his mouth.

Poppy smiled at him. "See! You like it."

Severus sighed. It was very hard to keep up his adult behavior. Seeing the grins from the adults and hearing Harry's giggles made him glare at them.

"That's something that will never change no matter how old he is," Alastor commented.

Severus fought hard with himself to not stick his tongue out at Alastor.

"So what did you two want to speak to me about?" Albus asked and looked from one boy to the other. Immediately, both turned red again.

"Can we speak in private?" Harry asked shyly.

"That depends on what it is about, Harry. If it is something Alastor and Poppy have to decide as well, it is better to discuss it right here. So what is it about?" Albus asked curiously.

Harry sighed. "School?"

"Is that a question or an answer?" Albus asked, amused.

"An answer. I would like to stay in sixth year with my friends." Harry looked worriedly between his surrogate parents and the headmaster.

Albus sighed. "Harry, you are twelve and your magic core is that of a twelve-year-old. Even though you remember most of the spells and charms you used as a sixteen-year-old, you cannot use them anymore. You will need a lot of time, as in years, to regain all of your skills. As of now, it's just theory in your head. Practice is something different. It will be easier for you to learn this time, but it will need time. You cannot attend sixth-year classes," Albus said sadly, seeing the tears in Harry's eyes.

Poppy moved over, sat down on the couch arm, and hugged Harry. "Harry, I'm sure Hermione, Ron, and your other friends will still be you friends and help you. You are still a Gryffindor and you are able to access the Common Room whenever you want. There is no re-Sorting, is there, Albus?" Poppy asked, worried.

"No," the old man replied. "I think the Sorting Hat will let its original decision stand. Severus should stay in Slytherin because they loved their Head of House and will accept him openly. At least, most of them will. All the children of Voldemort's supporters have been taken out of this school to be home-schooled in their new foster families until they feel like coming back. I presume Severus and Harry will still live here in these quarters like before, so we don't have to add beds in the dormitories, am I correct?"

"Of course," Poppy answered directly. "Severus still needs supervision because of his health and magic problems, and I don't want him sleeping anywhere else. We don't know if there are some students who aren't so friendly-"

"We don't know that there are, so we will worry about it if it occurs," Alastor said when he saw Severus pale even more.

"Yes, I agree," Albus said and patted Severus' leg calmingly.

If it was not for the Calming Draught in his veins, Severus would have had a panic attack. He had not thought about all the students who did not like him. Now they had him as an easy target. His second time at school would be as bad as his first time, if not even worse. There were only four bullies the first time, but how many would there be this time? "I won't go to school again!" Severus said, agitated.

"Severus, you need to learn again like Harry. Your magic core has not only been altered by the De-Aging Potion but by Voldemort as well. You need schooling to learn to use your magic as best as possible." Albus tried to reason calmly with Severus, but the boy was, even with the Calming Draught, very distressed about the whole situation.

"No, I won't go. They will all bully me. They hate me! I won't go to school here!" Severus fought hard against the tears of desperation, but Alastor's next word made him lose the battle.

"Severus, we know that you are worried about it and that you fear they won't like you, but we promise to help you as best as possible. If you were healthy enough, we could think about letting you go to Durmstrang if you wanted, but you aren't ready. We need you to go to school here at Hogwarts," Alastor said, sighing.

That broke the dam, and Severus felt hot tears run down his face. It was so embarrassing that he wanted to hide somewhere far away. "I won't do it. I will run away!" With that, Severus stood up and tried to escape, but Albus quickly grabbed him by his arm and prevented Severus from running from the room.

"Severus, please calm down," Albus said in a calm but determined voice. He looked over at Harry, not letting go of a desperately sobbing Severus. "Harry, would you please wait in your room for a while so we can discuss this with Severus?"

Harry nodded sadly. On his way to his room, he passed Severus and took the boy's free hand in his. "I'm here this time, Severus. I won't let them bully you."

Severus just shook his head sadly. He did not like that Harry saw him like this. Harry knew about his first school life and how much he had hated it, but Severus never liked it when other people saw him weak, even if it was his family.

When Harry had finally left the room, Alastor took Harry's place and sat Severus back on the couch, laying his arm over the teen's shoulders. "Let's discuss this more calmly, Severus. You can't cast many spells right now even if you remember them. It was like that for the last few months even when you were still an adult. It was very hard for you to learn them and to control your magic. Adults don't learn as quickly as children, and you are very impatient. Now that you are physically thirteen again, you will learn spells and charms much more easily. We will help you to catch up with your new classmates. As for your fear of being hated, you are a war hero, Severus. Of course there will always be people who don't like you, but you will find friends and you have Harry and us."

Severus sniffed. He knew there was no way around it. He would never run away because he felt safe with Poppy and Alastor. He had not moved in with them as an adult for nothing. He wanted to stay with them, but he was scared about what would happen in classes. "But Harry is not in my classes," he sniffled, "and he is in Gryffindor. I will hardly see him during school." He hiccupped. "I will be alone, and I know they will all hate me," he finished with another sniffle.

"Severus, you have been civil towards Harry's friends lately. I think most of the students will see you as Harry's brother, the war hero and not as the strict Potions Master you once were. Charlie has taken over Potions since the beginning of the school year, so maybe most of them have already forgotten how strict you were in class," Albus said.

Severus glared at the old headmaster between sniffs. He wiped his face with his sleeve.

"Severus, here! Use this or Poppy will throw a fit soon," Alastor said, chuckling, and handed Severus a handkerchief.

Severus took it and threw a shy look at Poppy, who smiled at him warmly. At least I am not in trouble with her at the moment, Severus thought, relieved, and blew his nose. He felt a bit calmer now that he was not sniffing all the time. "But if they bully me, I don't have to go to classes again, right?" Severus asked hopefully. He was not such a weakling the first time he was thirteen. His parents had made sure of that. Living with Poppy and Alastor had changed him a lot, and he knew what a real family was like. His behavior now was different from his behavior so many years ago.

"If someone is bullying you, you will come to me or your guardians and we will speak with the troublemakers," Albus said gently. "I think Harry will also make sure that you are okay. I have thought about letting him jump one class higher if your guardians don't have any objections. Harry should be able to catch up very quickly, and spending classes together would help Harry and Severus to adjust to their new life. What do you two think about it?" Albus asked Poppy and Alastor.

"Sounds good to me," Alastor said dryly.

"If Harry is able to catch up, I also think it is the best when the boys are in the same year," Poppy added. "See, you won't be alone, Severus."

"Lupin will laugh at me. Now he can torture me in Defense Against the Dark Arts when Alastor isn't teaching. And Minerva and Pomona and-"

"Severus, I don't think that any of them thinks that this is funny. We all fought together in the final battle and-" Albus started but was interrupted by Severus' angry outburst.

"I didn't! I was a cripple in bed while you and the others-ah!" Severus cried out when Alastor pulled him closer to face him.

"Stop, Severus. You did what none of us could do. You were inhumanly brave and gave us the final information we needed to defeat Voldemort. You paid a high price for that, and that was the reason why you were not active in the final battle. Everyone knows that: your old colleagues, the students, everyone. Nobody will find the current situation funny, and I'm sure that all the teachers will do their best to make you not feel uncomfortable in their classes. Nobody will push you around, but they are your teachers now and not your colleagues. You will have to treat them as such. You have to respect them as more skilled and educated persons. You and Remus accepted each other the last year, so why should this change now?" Alastor asked.

"Maybe because I'm now exactly at the age when he and his friends bullied me!" Severus said, frustrated.

"Remus is an adult, and he regrets that he did not stop James and Sirius from bullying you. He will hardly want to hurt you. Severus, you are not an adult in a teenager's body. You are a teenager! Everything besides your memories is that of a teenager. If you aren't disrespectful to any of your teachers you won't have any trouble," Alastor explained seriously. He sighed. "Why don't we just try it until Christmas? If you still insist on leaving the school then, we will find a way out for you," Alastor promised.

"Really?" Severus asked eagerly. He looked over to Poppy, but seeing her skeptical expression, he turned back to the person who gave him at least a small hope for an escape.

"Really," Alastor said seriously. "Do we have a deal? You go to school and try your best from Monday on, and we'll meet and speak about all this during the Christmas holidays." Alastor held his hand in Severus' direction for him to take.

"Deal!" Severus said, smiling. There is a way out if things turn out badly, he thought, relieved.

"Now, off with you, and tell Harry that you will both join the third years," Alastor said and gestured for Severus to leave the room.

When Severus was gone, Alastor could feel all eyes on him. He sighed. "If it is really unbearable for him, we have to act. Eight weeks is long enough to see if there is any chance of him accepting this life-if there isn't an antidote, of course. If he can't do it because of trouble with his classmates or teachers or if his magic core isn't developing fast enough to keep up with his classmates, we need to find private teachers. That is the only way out I can see since we won't let him attend school abroad in his current state. Let's just wait until Christmas and see what situation we are in then." Alastor made it clear with his tone that this was final.

Albus just nodded. "I have to accept this decision, even though I would hate to see Severus not being taught here at Hogwarts. If you ever need my help, you know where to find me." With that, he stood up. "I will inform the rest of the staff at seven. Please join us in the staff room if possible."

"Of course we will be there. They are old enough to look after themselves for an hour, but I'm not sure when the Healers from St. Mungo's will arrive. The Ministry insists on an examination of Severus and Harry by an official Healer," Poppy said and accompanied the headmaster to the fireplace.

"I hope everything will work out for the best. If the Ministry or the Healers make any problems, call me for help," Albus said.

"It won't be a problem. I already asked two Healers that I know very well to take this job, and they are very high ranked. I'm sure they will be the two coming over this evening. I will try to have them come around eight. The staff meeting will be over then, won't it?" Poppy asked.

"Yes, I don't think it will last longer than thirty minutes. I will see you two at seven," Albus replied and left through the Floo.

~*~

Albus just nodded. "I have to accept this decision, even though I would hate to see Severus not being taught here at Hogwarts. If you ever need my help, you know where to find me." With that, he stood up. "I will inform the rest of the staff at seven. Please join us in the staff room if possible."

"Of course we will be there. They are old enough to look after themselves for an hour, but I'm not sure when the Healers from St. Mungo's will arrive. The Ministry insists on an examination of Severus and Harry by an official Healer," Poppy said and accompanied the headmaster to the fireplace.

"I hope everything will work out for the best. If the Ministry or the Healers make any problems, call me for help," Albus said.

"It won't be a problem. I already asked two Healers that I know very well to take this job, and they are very high ranked. I'm sure they will be the two coming over this evening. I will try to have them come around eight. The staff meeting will be over then, won't it?" Poppy asked.

"Yes, I don't think it will last longer than thirty minutes. I will see you two at seven," Albus replied and left through the Floo.

~*~

Severus went to Harry's room when his guardians and the headmaster released him. "Hey," he greeted Harry insecurely while stepping into the room.

"Hey, how are you?" Harry asked, worried.

Severus shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I hated being thirteen the first time, and I hate it again." Sadly, Severus let his head hang.

Harry sighed. "I know you don't want to hear this, and it is really selfish, but I'm glad that I'm not alone in this shit," Harry said.

"Language, Harry," Severus scolded, but it sound crazy, even to his own ears. Harry smirked.

"Oh, stop smirking!" Severus commanded, frustrated, while sitting down beside Harry on the bed.

"I think I like you even more now. You are funny," Harry stated, amused.

"Oh, great, exactly what I wished for. Entertaining Harry Potter," Severus said sarcastically.

Harry grinned even wider. "Yes, I definitely love you more as you are right now. The last few months were really depressing, you know?" Harry said, becoming more serious.

"Yes, I know," Severus said, sighing.

"We will manage going to school," Harry said not very convincingly.

"You have been going to school. What is the difference?" Severus asked, puzzled.

"Are you crazy? Look at me!" Harry exclaimed, angered. "I'm a small kid, and have to go to class with other small kids."

Severus snorted and let himself fall backwards onto Harry's bed. "You are only four years younger, Harry."

"Four years is an eternity," Harry said, letting himself fall down beside Severus with a sigh.

"It's not. Oh, and you don't have to attend second year classes. You are allowed to jump a year and join me in third year," Severus explained.

"Really?" Harry said, excited, and turned on his side to look at Severus. "That's great. We will be in the same classes."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fantastic."

"Oh cheer up," Harry said and poked Severus in his ribs.

"Hey!" Severus protested and poked back. That was the signal for a battle, and soon they landed, fighting on the floor.

"What's going on here?" Alastor thundered, entering the room.

Immediately, both boys let go of each other and stood up. Severus' normally plain hair was ruffled, and Harry's looked even worse than it normally did. "Ehm...we were just playing."

"Playing?"Alastor looked skeptically from one boy to another.

"Yes, we were just playing." Severus pulled a face about the word 'playing' as if it was below his pride to even say such a word, let alone actually do it.

"If you two want to play, you could have played cards or chess or whatever, but fighting isn't a game I want you two playing. Is that clear? Fun or not, fighting is prohibited in the house and outside," Alastor said sternly.

"Yes, sir," Harry said immediately.

"Severus?" Alastor asked when the boy did not reply.

"Yes, sir," Severus mumbled.

"Good. I came to speak with you two about some things." Alastor pulled a chair close to the bed and indicated for the boys to sit down.

"Has Severus told you about Albus' decision to let you jump a year, Harry?"

"Yes," Harry answered, nervous about what Alastor wanted to talk about.

"And is that okay with you?" Alastor asked.

"Sure," Harry said, beaming. "I'm glad I can go to classes with Severus. I wish we were in the same house."

Severus snorted. "Potter in Slytherin."

"Hey, the hat almost sent me there, you know," Harry protested. "And I wasn't thinking about me being in Slytherin but you being in Gryffindor." Harry grinned at the shocked face.

"I would rather to go to hell than being a Gryffindork," Severus said, pulling a face.

"Severus," Alastor said warningly, which earned him a scowl from Severus. Alastor sighed. "There are rules Severus, and whether you like it or not, you will have to learn to follow them."

"Why? Why can't we just pretend that I am still adult?" Severus said, agitated.

"Because you aren't an adult, and you won't be one again for a while if what I know about potions is correct," Alastor said harshly. He regretted it immediately. "I'm sorry, Severus. I shouldn't have said that. The situation is something I have to get used to as well," Alastor said gently.

Severus looked down sadly, and Harry put an arm around his shoulders. "Hey, it's not as if there weren't rules before, right?"

"But it was different," Severus said sadly. "I always had the chance to leave," Severus said softly.

Alastor felt a stab in his heart, but tried to not show it. "Severus, you are right. There is a big difference, but it can't be helped. You are stuck with us for at least four years, but I would like you to remember that it was you who decided a long time ago to move in with us. It was you who still stayed when we set rules. That hasn't changed now. There will be other rules, and yes, there will be more rules now that you are a teenager. I'm sure you and Harry will be capable of handling them. There are also a lot of good things besides the rules, Severus. We will buy you two toys, magazines, or whatever you would like. We will make trips to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, go out for ice cream, go flying and camping, play games, and whatever you two deem to be fun. There is no work to worry about, no Ministry, no St. Mungo's stressing you about brewing for them, and no Death Eater meetings or Voldemort anymore."

"Yes, but there is homework, rules, and...." Severus shuddered. "Punishments."

Alastor chuckled. "The last one can be avoided by following the rules, Severus."

"I'm not good with rules," Severus muttered.

"Yes, I know," Alastor said, grinning. "I promise to be lenient the first time so that the two of you can adjust to your new life."

Severus looked up skeptically. He knew that Alastor was a very strict man. He got into a lot of trouble with Alastor and Poppy for not following the rules the first time he lived with them. Especially the eating rules. Nevertheless, he stayed and even let Alastor and Poppy punish him with early bedtimes and timeouts in his room. They had even grounded him from brewing, and Severus had obeyed because he felt safe with them and knew that they would look after him when he unable to do it himself. Severus was very certain he would get in trouble with Alastor as a thirteen-year-old even more than as an adult, and a lenient Alastor was nothing Severus could imagine.

"Don't look so skeptical, Severus. I promise to try to remember that there are still some of your old memories in your head." Alastor became thoughtful again. "It's hard, you know? When I look at you two I just see two small kids, and you behave like you're twelve and thirteen."

"Poppy said they will go away," Severus said sadly.

"Not completely," Harry said, determined. "They will just go to the back of our minds, and we will need to search harder for them when we want to recall them."

Severus sighed.

"Let's just wait and see how everything develops. Maybe you two will even enjoy being young again," Alastor said, more cheerful.

Poppy came in and sat beside Severus on the bed. "What have I missed?"

"We just talked about rules in general, but we didn't go into detail yet," Alastor explained.

"Ah, okay. Of course, all the old rules stay intact. That means you will attend all meals with us on weekends, and during the week we will eat supper together. Our family hour is still at eight. The normal rules like 'no lying,' 'no hiding illnesses,' 'no hurting yourself,' and so on are still set as well." She paused and waited for the two heads to nod, which they did.

"In addition, there will be new rules. Number one is no fighting or rough playing," Alastor said sternly, and Poppy looked puzzled. When both boys nodded, Alastor went on, "There will be a bedtime set for you two. What would you suggest, Poppy?"

"I would say nine for Harry and nine-thirty for Severus during week and eleven for both on the weekend," Poppy said strictly.

"What?" both boys protested.

"I'm not a baby," added Severus rebelliously.

"You are thirteen, young man. You need more sleep than you needed at thirty-five," Poppy stated in her no-nonsense voice.

"I cannot sleep at nine-thirty," Severus said stubbornly.

"We will see," Poppy stated, smiling. "This is new for us as well, so it is possible that we will add new rules from time to time. But that's enough rule discussion for today. I would like to talk about next weekend. What would you two like to do?"

Severus looked blankly at Poppy, and Harry had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Ehm...maybe we could just go somewhere outside Hogwarts. Only the four of us," Harry suggested.

"That sounds good. What would your like to do or where would you like to go?" Alastor asked curiously.

"Hmm, maybe flying?" Harry looked questioningly at Severus. The adult Severus did not like flying, but maybe the young one did.

"I don't have a broom, but you can fly with Alastor. He is really good," Severus said in a neutral voice.

"Severus is very good at flying as well, Harry. You should have seen him in the last teacher's Quidditch match. He is a good Chaser," Alastor said cheerfully. "And the broom problem will be solved as soon as we visit Diagon Alley. Tomorrow is Sunday, but we will try to contact someone we know that has a clothing shop. We should be able to buy your new clothes."

Harry's face lit up, but Severus paled.

"I can buy my clothes myself, right?" Severus asked, already dreading the answer.

"Severus, your vaults are closed until you are of age again," Poppy explained. "We are your guardians now, and that means we will pay for whatever you need." She held up her hand when Severus opened his mouth to protest. "And we will love to do it."

"I will pay you back when I'm of age," Severus exclaimed, determined.

"Severus, really," Poppy said reproachfully, but Alastor held up his hand to silence her.

"If you still feel like paying us back then, you can do it, Severus," Alastor said diplomatically.

"Good, I will," Severus said, determined.

Poppy sighed. "Now that the plans are settled, I need to inform you about something else."

Both teens looked curiously at her.

"At eight, some officials from the Ministry will come over. They will most likely be accompanied by two Healers," Poppy explained. Seeing Severus' pale face, she quickly added, "There is nothing to be worried about. The Healers will just check you two through for any problems caused by the de-aging."

"I don't want to be examined by them. You already did so," Severus said miserably.

"Yes, me neither," Harry said pleadingly.

Poppy sighed. "We have no choice in this. I contacted two of my friends who are high Healers at St. Mungo's. They are very kind and you two will like them. Severus, you already know Healer Meyers and Alastor's Healer."

Harry relaxed a little, but Severus still looked shocked at Poppy.

"We will stay with you while they examine you if you want," Alastor explained. No damn Ministry worker will stop me, he thought, determined, when he saw the worried expression on his wife's face.

"Oh, my, look at the time," Poppy exclaimed and jumped up. "We need to eat supper. At seven, Alastor and I have to leave for a staff meeting."

________

"I won't let them touch me," Severus said, determined, and scowled at the ceiling of Harry's room. After supper, Harry and Severus had gone back to Harry's room. It was more comfortable for the two teenagers than Severus' meager room.

"You heard Poppy; there is no way around it," Harry said, sighing. "Just cooperate and then they will leave."

Severus snorted. "You are so naive, Harry."

"Why?" Harry asked, puzzled, and looked sideways at Severus.

"They won't leave us alone. If they find even one thing wrong, they will put us in St. Mungo's," Severus said bitterly.

"Alastor won't let them do that, and Poppy said the Healers are friends of hers," Harry said, determined. He was sure Alastor would keep them safe.

"Like I said, you are just naive," Severus stated.

-II-

"I won't let them touch me," Severus said, determined, and scowled at the ceiling of Harry's room. After supper, Harry and Severus had gone back to Harry's room. It was more comfortable for the two teenagers than Severus' meager room.

"You heard Poppy; there is no way around it," Harry said, sighing. "Just cooperate and then they will leave."

Severus snorted. "You are so naive, Harry."

"Why?" Harry asked, puzzled, and looked sideways at Severus.

"They won't leave us alone. If they find even one thing wrong, they will put us in St. Mungo's," Severus said bitterly.

"Alastor won't let them do that, and Poppy said the Healers are friends of hers," Harry said, determined. He was sure Alastor would keep them safe.

"Like I said, you are just naive," Severus stated.

-II-

"One more step in that direction and I swear I will blast you to pieces!" Alastor thundered at the Ministry officer, pointing his wand in the man's direction.

"Mr. Moody, I have an official paper here from the youth welfare office that we are allowed to see the boys and let the Healers check them. If you insist upon making trouble, I will call the Aurors to arrest you," the Ministry worker said, angered.

"You have no right to do so! I already contacted two Level Seven Healers who are willing to oversee the ordered examination. I informed the Welfare Office about it," Poppy said, agitated.

"Mrs. Pomfrey, you behavior is highly inappropriate for a mediwitch. The fact that you are trying to keep these boys from any examination besides your own is very suspicious," the grim-looking Healer with gray hair stated disapprovingly.

Poppy was so shocked at this accusation that she gaped at the old Healer for several seconds. "How dare you?!"

"Really, I think you are both overreacting. If the boys hear you, they will be scared," the second Healer, an elderly witch, stated. She was much friendlier than the male Healer and obviously felt uncomfortable by the force he was applying on the two guardians.

"I have better things to do than waste my time speaking with people that don't take proper care of their charges. Arrest them and let us go through with this," the male Healer stated arrogantly.

"You accuse me of not taking proper care of my sons? I know them better than you ever will!" Poppy screamed at the arrogant man.

"What's going on here?" A deep voice said from the fireplace. Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic, stood in front of the hearth, glaring at the scene in front of him.

"Minister Shacklebolt," the Ministry worker said, surprised.

"I ask again, what's going on here?" Kingsley asked angrily.

"I have an official order from Marinda Tenner from the Youth Welfare Office to question Severus Snape and Harry Potter about their de-aging and to make sure that Healer Morey and Healer Minter will examine both boys thoroughly." The Ministry worker handed Kingsley a sheet.

After studying it carefully, Kingsley looked at Poppy and Alastor. Seeing that Alastor still held his wand up to block the hall, Kingsley decided to address him first. "You have objections to this questioning and the examination, Alastor?"

"The hell I have!" Alastor spat out, not lowering his wand.

"Care to enlighten me about your reasons?" Kingsley said calmly. He knew Alastor for a very long time; he even trained under him to become an Auror. They had fought side by side in the war and had met privately for a drink or a game of cards several times, so the Minister knew that Alastor was not far from hexing the Ministry worker.

"We already received the information about the official examination and spoke with adequate Healers who agreed to make the examination. We sent the papers hours ago to the office, but they are here with two Healers we don't know. We won't let them come near our sons," Alastor said, determined.

"The Youth Welfare Office isn't to be commanded around by their clients," the Ministry worker said, sneering. This facial expression made Alastor remember.

"I know you. You're Dan Calago. You were in Gryffindor while Severus was at school, and if I remember correctly, you didn't get along well."

"I don't see why this is relevant here, Mr. Moody," Dan Calago spat out.

"I think that has a lot to do with the whole situation, Mr. Calago," Kingsley stated before Alastor could say something. "I haven't seen the two boys, but I guess they are already stressed enough by their new situation, and I don't think a questioning from you would do them any good. I also don't see why the examination can't be done by the Healers Mrs. Pomfrey chose. If she trusts them, the boys will trust them most likely as well."

"Minister, with all due respect, this examination has been ordered by the Youth Welfare Office, and we are used to examinations like this," the male Healer stated, annoyed.

"The Youth Welfare Office is part of the Ministry, Healer Minter, and that means it is my area of responsibility. I don't doubt your or Healer Moley's expertise and experience, but maybe the Healers Mrs. Pomfrey has chosen have these skills as well." With that said, he looked at Poppy.

"Of course they have these skills. They are both Level Seven Healers. They have experience with physical and mental illnesses. As Severus had a number of problems with his mental and physical state and Harry also had some issues, I thought it would be best to choose two Healers who are very skilled in these areas. Severus already knows Healer Meyers and trusted her as an adult. Healer Smith is well-known amongst Healers. He is famous for his work with trauma patients," Poppy explained more calmly, now that she knew Kingsley was helping them.

"The examination can be very intimating, and if one of the boys already knows one of the Healers, it would help them to accept the examination and take part in it willingly and actively," Healer Moley said kindly. "I think it is best if we back out and you check if your boys are okay."

"The examination has to be done today. Otherwise there could be lasting damage," Healer Minter protested.

"Can you get your Healers here now?" Kingsley asked Poppy.

"I will try," Poppy replied and went over to the fireplace. A few minutes later, a man around forty stepped out of the hearth. He had sandy hair and a goatee. He looked puzzled at the scene in front of him.

"Thanks for coming. Is Maria on her way?" Poppy asked tensely.

"Yes, she will be here any minute. Calm down, Poppy," James Smith said and laid a reassuring hand on her arm. Feeling her tremble, he sent a small dose of Calming Magic through his hands.

"Thank Merlin," Poppy said and almost collapsed in relief. James was fast enough to catch her before she hit the ground.

"What's going on, James?" a high voice asked from the fireplace. A chubby woman with white bushy hair rushed over to James and the trembling Poppy in his arms.

"I think this was a bit too much stress for her," James stated and looked around. If the situation was not so serious, he would have laughed at the look on Alastor's face. The man was torn between rushing over to his wife and blocking the hall.

Maria waved her wand and placed Poppy on the couch. "Take care of these idiots and get Alastor to lower his wand," Maria ordered James.

"Yes, ma'am," James said sarcastically but did what he was told.

Kingsley also reacted quickly. "It's time for us to leave. I will inform you about this questioning after I speak with Marinda Tenner at the Youth Welfare Office.

Two minutes later, the two unwelcome Healers, the Ministry worker, and Kingsley were gone. "It's over Alastor," James said and laid his hand on Alastor's arm. Slowly, Alastor let his wand drop and allowed James to let a bit of Calming Magic flow into him.

When he could think clearly again, he tried to shrugging his arm free to go over to Poppy, but Maria was already at his side. "She is okay, Alastor; she's sleeping. I think we should check on the boys. I guess you didn't have the time to put up a Silencing Spell?" Maria asked. Seeing Alastor's shocked face, she did not wait for an answer. She walked down the long hallway that led to all the bedrooms and the bathroom. She knew the way to Severus room from former visits. When she passed Harry's room, she stopped. She felt a great wave of angst and depression coming through the door. "Can it be that they are both in here?" she asked Alastor.

"Yes, I think so. They spend a lot of time together in Harry's room," Alastor said and grabbed for the door knob, but the door did not open. Puzzled, he tried several times but nothing happened. "That can't be. They don't have their wands."

"As you know, there are other ways than magic to block a door, Alastor. I can feel a lot of fear and depression coming from inside this room," Maria stated.

Alastor knocked on the door. "Harry? Can you hear me?"

"Yes," came the soft answer.

"Open the door, Harry. It's all okay." Alastor tried to sound calm, but he was way too worried for this.

"No!" Harry said through the door.

"Harry, this is not the time for games. Please open the door," Alastor said.

"No, Severus was right. They will send us to St. Mungo's and you can't do anything about it. I know they are there with you. I could hear them."

Alastor groaned. "Is Severus with you?"

No reply.

"Severus, I know you can hear me. Open the door," Alastor said sternly. The urge to break the door down to see with his own eyes that his sons were okay was overwhelming. There was no reply and no sound from inside. Alastor tried the handle again, only to realize that nothing had changed. "Severus, talk to me!"

"I won't go to St. Mungo's! They will use me as a guinea pig," Severus said miserably.

Alastor groaned again and hit the door. Maria laid a calming hand over Alastor's on the door and then spoke to Severus. "Severus, this is Healer Meyers. You remember me?"

There was a shuffle from the other side of the door. "I still have my memories."

"That's very good, my boy. So you know me and you can trust me, right?" Maria asked patiently.

"I won't go to a clinic," Severus stated very softly.

"I don't think that will be necessary as long as you haven't hidden anything important from Poppy. But we still need to check you and Harry through, okay?" Maria said carefully.

"Where is Poppy?" Severus asked miserably.

"She is sleeping, Severus. She was very unhappy about the Ministry worker and the Healers he brought with him. You heard part of the conversation, didn't you?" Maria smiled. "Severus, I can't see you nodding your head, and I only can say that you did it because I know you very well. Please open the door."

"Please go away!" Severus pleaded. "We want Poppy."

Maria sighed. The boys were way too scared by the scenario in the living room they had overheard and were still adjusting to the problems their de-aging caused. They are absolutely confused and afraid.

"Severus, you will open the door now!" Alastor commanded. A whimper could be heard from inside, and the wave of depression drew farther away. Severus had crawled away from the door again. "Severus, I'm counting to three. If you haven't opened the door by then, you will be in a lot of trouble," Alastor said, threatening. It stung his heart badly to use such a method to get into the room, but he was at loss for ideas and he wanted to check on them badly. He wanted to hug them and assure them that everything was all right. He could not do this through the door, and so it had to be like this.

"One...." A whimper was heard and a mumbling that was not Severus' voice.

"Two...."

"Please, no," Severus said wretchedly.

"Severus, this is my last warning before I end the counting," Alastor said. A loud sob was heard through the door and then a noise that sounded like furniture being pushed over the floor. When the sound stopped, Alastor blasted into the room.

In the middle of the room stood Severus, tear-stained and sobbing badly. "I don't want to be sent away!"

Alastor rushed over to Severus and drew him into a tight hug. He lifted Severus up and looked around for Harry. He found the dark-haired boy curled up in a tight ball under the desk. With Severus still in his arms, Alastor rushed over to Harry and sat down beside him. He had one arm around the sobbing Severus and the other on Harry's head. "Please calm down! Everything is okay!" Alastor was everything but calming, and so Severus sobbed even harder and Harry curled up tighter.

"Severus, I promise that you will not be sent away," Maria said while sitting down beside Alastor and placing a calming hand on Severus' back. While she let Calming Magic flow into Severus, she looked over to James, who had crouched down beside Harry.

"Harry, I'm Healer Smith. I know you are very scared at the moment, but I promise you that everything will be all right. The Minister himself was here to send the Ministry worker and the two Healers away. They won't come back. It will be just Healer Meyers and me. I will touch your shoulder now, Harry. I will calm you a bit with magic. It will feel good, I promise. If you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and I will stop." James knew that Harry would not reply at the moment, and so he started to send Calming Magic to the distressed boy.

Ten minutes later, both boys were drowsy from the Calming Magic. "Alastor, are you still with us?" James asked. Alastor was white like a sheet, but he nodded. His arms hurt because he had not moved them for the past ten minutes. Not to mention his legs.

"Is it possible to move Severus' bed inside here?" James asked.

"Yes, we can move the furniture easily," Alastor said and reluctantly let go of Severus. The boy did not even realize it and just fell over into Healer Meyers' arms. Alastor rearranged all the furniture that Harry and Severus had moved and added Severus' bed close beside Harry's.

"We will let them sleep for an hour," Maria stated when both boys were lying in their beds. "That will give them time to calm down and us time to take care of you and Poppy. Then we can talk about your worries and observations. If they react well, I think we should examine Severus today and Harry tomorrow morning. He has only de-aged four years, so there shouldn't be any dangerous damage that would be life-threatening if we leave it for tomorrow." Maria looked questioning over to James, and when he nodded, it was settled and they left the room.

-II-

"Harry, I'm Healer Smith. I know you are very scared at the moment, but I promise you that everything will be all right. The Minister himself was here to send the Ministry worker and the two Healers away. They won't come back. It will be just Healer Meyers and me. I will touch your shoulder now, Harry. I will calm you a bit with magic. It will feel good, I promise. If you feel uncomfortable, just tell me and I will stop." James knew that Harry would not reply at the moment, and so he started to send Calming Magic to the distressed boy.

Ten minutes later, both boys were drowsy from the Calming Magic. "Alastor, are you still with us?" James asked. Alastor was white like a sheet, but he nodded. His arms hurt because he had not moved them for the past ten minutes. Not to mention his legs.

"Is it possible to move Severus' bed inside here?" James asked.

"Yes, we can move the furniture easily," Alastor said and reluctantly let go of Severus. The boy did not even realize it and just fell over into Healer Meyers' arms. Alastor rearranged all the furniture that Harry and Severus had moved and added Severus' bed close beside Harry's.

"We will let them sleep for an hour," Maria stated when both boys were lying in their beds. "That will give them time to calm down and us time to take care of you and Poppy. Then we can talk about your worries and observations. If they react well, I think we should examine Severus today and Harry tomorrow morning. He has only de-aged four years, so there shouldn't be any dangerous damage that would be life-threatening if we leave it for tomorrow." Maria looked questioning over to James, and when he nodded, it was settled and they left the room.

-II-

When they came back into the living room, Albus was sitting on one of the armchairs close to the couch Poppy was lying on.

Alastor rushed over to Poppy and gently stroked her hair, ignoring Albus completely.

"Maria," Albus greeted Healer Meyers. "And you must be Healer Smith. Alastor and Poppy speak very highly of you," Albus addressed James and offered him his hand. "I'm Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts."

James grinned. "I may have been schooled at Durmstrang, but I don't think there is anyone in wizarding Europe who doesn't know who you are, Professor Dumbledore."

"You never know," Albus said, smiling. After he threw a worried glance at Poppy and Alastor, he asked Maria, "How did it go? The wards informed me about the problems with the Ministry worker and Healers, so I sent for Minister Shacklebolt."

"When I arrived, Poppy had already collapsed against Healer Smith. She was overstressed, and I had to put her to sleep. We can wake her now to fill her in about what happened. The Minister left quickly with those other idiots shortly after my arrival. You need to ask Alastor and Poppy for more information about them, but right now we need to discuss the future. The boys were very distressed and had barricaded themselves in Harry's room. We needed some time to convince them to open the door. They were too distressed to work with immediately, so we decided to let them sleep for an hour," Maria explained while James gently drew Alastor away from his wife.

"Sit down Alastor, I will wake her," James instructed the anxious man.

Seconds later, Poppy looked around wildly. "What happened? How are Severus and Harry?"

"Calm down, Poppy. They are fine; they are sleeping at the moment," James explained calmly. "There were some problems, so we're letting them sleep for an hour. Then we will try to examine Severus."

"Problems? What problems?" Poppy asked, worried, and looked at her husband. The sight did not calm her. Alastor had sunk heavily in the armchair, pale and worn out.

After James had explained what happened, Poppy stood up. "I need to see them."

James sighed. "If you need to see them to calm down, please do so, but remember we need you here as soon as possible to discuss how to go on about this."

"I will be back soon," Poppy said and left the living room.

In the time Poppy needed to make sure her boys were really fine, James helped Alastor. "Relax, Alastor, you know the drill," James said patiently when he had problems reaching the tense areas of Alastor's body with magic. "That's it," James said when the man tried to relax. Alastor was not an easy patient. He had problems trusting people, and relaxing while a Healer had his hands on him was something he took a long time to accept. Only James was allowed to treat him, and the fact that he let James heal him while others were around was a sign of his fatigue and shock.

Alastor felt the warmness soothe his aching limbs. Slowly, the pain ebbed and the magic changed from healing to calming. "I'm fine now," Alastor muttered and tried to bat James' hands away when he realized that the Healer had calmed his nerves.

"Alastor, stop it!" James ordered. The growl he received did not impress him at all. "Poppy is not back yet."

Poppy returned two minutes later and sat down on the couch. James let go of Alastor, and the old man sat down beside his wife and hugged her. "Kingsley will take care of the Ministry."

Poppy nodded and had already got her composure back. "So you will examine only Severus today?" Poppy asked Maria.

"Yes, Severus is the one who could have dangerous lasting effects from the de-aging. I know you are a brilliant mediwitch Poppy, and I also know that you would have examined them again this evening for symptoms that only show up after some time has passed. The problem is that we need to calm the Ministry, so we will examine Severus if he is cooperative. Otherwise they could use this against you. Harry has only de-aged four years, so there shouldn't be any life-threatening damage. Nevertheless, we don't know much about the unstable potion, and if we aren't able to examine Harry today as well, we need to monitor him overnight," Maria explained seriously.

"Of course, Maria," Poppy agreed.

"What have your first diagnostic spells shown?" James asked, interested.

"Severus' magic was still very unstable, so I could hardly read anything. I would have contacted Maria this afternoon even if the Ministry had not asked for this examination. I would never compare my skills to yours," Poppy said sadly.

"You are an excellent mediwitch, Poppy," Maria assured her. "So your diagnostic spell didn't show anything significant?"

"There was high variability in his nutrition level and his magic level was almost...it was almost unreadable," Poppy said, and a tear ran down her cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alastor asked, surprised.

"I didn't want to worry you. Diagnostic spells so soon after are almost useless," Poppy explained to her husband.

"That's right, Alastor. This result isn't significant. Least six hours have to have passed before you can get readable results from a diagnostic spell in this case," Maria said. "Severus' magical channels that lead from his core through his whole body were torn in several places by Voldemort. Most of them should have already started to form new connections now that Severus is younger, but it will never be as easy for the magic to flow like it was before Voldemort hurt him. The torn channels made it almost impossible for Severus to use any spells as an adult. Now that he is young again, it will be easier for him to use magic. All the spells and charms he'll learn to use now will be learned with the already damages core and channels, so Severus will learn to use them as he is. He is even more capable of learning new things, and it will be much easier now than it was as an adult. The only problem is that he needs magic for this, and at the moment, we aren't able to say how much magic Severus has left in his core. The potion accident could have robbed him of some of his magic."

This instability in his magic level made Poppy worry, but only time would tell how much magic Severus had left. "With accidents like this, we aren't allowed to just rely on diagnostic spells. We need to examine both boys thoroughly without magic as well as with magic. Their cores must have adjusted to the changes by now, and if our diagnostic spells show any problems, we are both able to scan them skin to skin with our hands. That's our only advantage over Poppy," Mary explained.

"You don't need to flatter me, Maria. I'm not a Level Seven Healer and your diagnostic spells are better than mine. I'm just worried about their reactions and cooperation. Severus is a bit problematic, you know Maria, and Harry also isn't very open to revealing his weaknesses," Poppy said, worried.

"We can only hope and see when the time comes. I think it is best if you two stay in the room if the boys don't ask you to leave. That will help them," Maria stated. "Severus still remembers me, and I hope I can make him cooperate. If Severus let us examine him, Harry will most likely allow us to examine him as well."

"I hope you are right," Poppy sighed.

"Can you tell us how they reacted when they woke up after the accident?" James asked.

For the next half an hour, Alastor and Poppy explained Harry's and Severus' reactions to the new situation.

"I think it is a good idea to throw them in at the deep end," James mused when they began to discuss the boys' schooling. "Waiting would only worsen their fear. You can still take them out of classes for some time if they have too many problems."

"What do you think about the decision to let Harry jump a year?" Albus asked the Healers.

"It's okay. He has only de-aged four years and his memories are still intact. His brain will only suppress a few memories. That means he will be able to learn easily if there are no other damages caused by the potion. There could still be brain damage or a bad reaction of the nervous system that might make it harder for him to learn," James explained seriously.

Poppy's and Alastor's eyes widened. "Oh, no, I had not thought about that," Poppy exclaimed, shocked.

"It's just a possibility, Poppy. We will worry about it if it occurs," James said, determined.

"So we should have waited on this decision?" Albus stated.

"Even if there is damage, Headmaster, you can still let Harry attend the higher classes. He would just need some training to cope with the learning disorder. Please don't trouble yourselves with things that might not even be real," James scolded.

"I think it is time to go and wake the boys," Maria suggested.

"I will take my leave now. Please inform me if I have to change anything concerning the classes or if I should inform the teachers about something in addition. Of course I also would love to hear what the examination has shown," Albus said and hugged Poppy. After a friendly pat on Alastor's shoulder, Albus left the room through the fireplace.

_______

"Severus," Maria said gently and stroked Severus cheek.

Harry was already rubbing his eyes tiredly while Severus still refused to open his eyes.

"Severus, come on. Please wake up for me," Maria sing-songed close to Severus' ear and let Healing Magic flow into Severus through her hand.

"I'm tired," Severus said sleepy as he opened his eyes.

Maria smiled. "I know, sweetheart, but I need to examine you. Do you remember?" Maria asked softly while still stroking Severus' hair. Normally Severus would glare at her for calling him "sweetheart," but Maria knew that Severus would react even younger than thirteen for some time due to the adjustment of his body and mind to his de-aging.

"Don't want to," Severus said miserably.

"You know that Poppy and Alastor will be in trouble if we don't give the examination results to the Ministry by tomorrow. You don't want them to send other Healers again, do you?" Maria asked.

Severus shook his head. A voice in his head flickered up telling him to behave like an adult and not like a baby, but it was gone almost instantly. The stress and the sleep had already made his mind adjust to the memories. Severus was feeling like a normal thirteen-year-old and did not have the conflicted feeling anymore.

"Severus, can you tell me about the curse that hit you when you came into my care the first time?" Maria asked, seeing Severus behavior.

Severus bit his bottom lip and racked his brain but could not find the answer.

"It's okay, Severus. Just forget my question. It isn't important," Maria said and threw a significant look over to James, Poppy, and Alastor, who had realized that this meant that Severus' mind had already blocked many of his adult memories.

"You will look for an antidote, right?" Severus asked miserably.

"No, Severus, Healer Smith and I are not here to look for an antidote. We are here to help you adjust to the new situation no matter how long it will last." Maria gestured to James, and Severus turned to look shyly at James.

"That's Alastor's Healer," Severus stated, sat up and crouched closer to Maria. Only a little bit.

"Yes, that's me, Severus. I'm glad you remember that we already met a few times," James said softly and smiled at Severus.

Severus nodded and then looked over at Harry who had also sat up and looked sleepily around.

"You know that we have to examine you and Harry. Not only for the Ministry, but also to see if the potion has done any damage. We are a bit worried that the unstable potion could have caused more problems than just the de-aging," Maria explained to gain Severus' attention again. "As you are the one who had the greatest change, we would like to start with you. We hope to be able to examine Harry as well, but we will see how late it is when we are finished. Will you be a big brother and show Harry that it isn't so bad to be examined?"

Severus bit his bottom lip and thought hard about it. He did not want to look weak in front of Harry. He was the older one, and he wanted Harry to look up to him. On the other hand, he was really afraid of the examination, and when Healer Meyers said that it might be too late to examine Harry after they finished him, he knew the examination would consist of more than just a simple diagnostic spell. "I don't know," Severus said miserably. At the moment, he wished Harry was not in the room so he could whine and plead with them.

"Severus, we will stay in the room if you want us to," Poppy said as she sat down on Severus' bed.

Severus looked at Healer Meyers again. "What will you do?" he asked fearfully.

"I think we will need forty minutes, Severus. First we will have to examine you physically without magic. That's the longest part. We need some liquids from you-"

Maria could not finish because Severus started to shake his head frantically and scoot away from Maria. "Severus, calm down. It's not so bad. Healer Meyers and Healer Smith need your blood and urine to test it for any damage or illness. Otherwise, the Ministry won't be satisfied. There is no way around it," Poppy explained while she drew Severus closer to her.

"Don't want to," Severus mumbled sadly.

"It won't be long, and I promise to numb the spot where I take the blood from, okay?" Maria said charmingly.

Again, Severus wished his younger brother was not in the room. He did not want to whine and cry in front of Harry, so he sadly nodded.

"That's a brave boy," James stated and also sat down on the bed, and when Poppy stood up, he sat closer to Severus.

Poppy and Alastor sat down on Harry's bed, and Harry immediately crawled onto Alastor's lap. Twelve or not, he wanted to be on Alastor's lap while watching Severus' examination.

Severus meanwhile became more scared because he was alone with the two Healers on his bed. He felt the traitorous tears well up in his eyes.

"Severus, it won't be so bad," Maria assured him and brushed a tear away with her thumb. "After we have finished the examination without magic, we will run some diagnostic spells and one of us will scan you. You know that this won't hurt, right?" Maria asked.

Severus nodded. He knew there was no way around it, and he wanted it to be over as soon as possible. Slowly, he pulled his pajama top over his head. Blushing, he looked at Maria in question if he has to pull his bottom off as well.

"You can keep the pajama bottom on for the first part," Maria allowed gently, knowing Severus would feel better this way.

Harry looked shocked at Severus. His back and even his front were covered with scars. The adult Severus had always tried to keep Harry from seeing him naked. The worst was that Severus looked like he was starved. Harry could see each rib, and Severus' backbone stood out as well.

"Old wounds from adulthood are still visible on the skin," Maria stated and a magical quill wrote it down. "Otherwise, the patient has overall statue and appearance of a thirteen year old." Then she looked Severus directly in his eyes. "I will examine you from head to toe now. Do you still remember the quill and the protocol?"

Severus nodded. He was examined often enough to know the protocol quill. It was easy to differ between the voice with which Maria addressed Severus during the examination and the voice with which she ordered the quill to write something down.

-II-

Severus meanwhile became more scared because he was alone with the two Healers on his bed. He felt the traitorous tears well up in his eyes.

"Severus, it won't be so bad," Maria assured him and brushed a tear away with her thumb. "After we have finished the examination without magic, we will run some diagnostic spells and one of us will scan you. You know that this won't hurt, right?" Maria asked.

Severus nodded. He knew there was no way around it, and he wanted it to be over as soon as possible. Slowly, he pulled his pajama top over his head. Blushing, he looked at Maria in question if he has to pull his bottom off as well.

"You can keep the pajama bottom on for the first part," Maria allowed gently, knowing Severus would feel better this way.

Harry looked shocked at Severus. His back and even his front were covered with scars. The adult Severus had always tried to keep Harry from seeing him naked. The worst was that Severus looked like he was starved. Harry could see each rib, and Severus' backbone stood out as well.

"Old wounds form adulthood are still visible on the skin," Maria stated and a magical quill wrote it down. "Otherwise, the patient has overall statue and appearance of a thirteen year old." Then she looked Severus directly in his eyes. "I will examine you from head to toe now. Do you still remember the quill and the protocol?"

Severus nodded. He was examined often enough to know the protocol quill. It was easy to differ between the voice with which Maria addressed Severus during the examination and the voice with which she ordered the quill to write something down.

-II-

"Okay, I will start with your head." Maria felt every inch of Severus' head and Severus felt the warm tickle of magic flow through his scalp. So she had decided to combine the magical with the non-magical examination. "Skull fractures, same as the adult body." She went on like this with Severus' face, eyes, teeth, and mouth. Everything matched the damage his adult self already had. "We need to have a dental Healer have a look at him, Poppy. I'm not good enough in this area," Maria addressed Poppy.

"Of course, I will make an appointment for them both," Poppy stated and both boys crinkled their noses.

Maria chuckled and went on to Severus' hands. "Healed fractures and nerve damage. Shortened sinews and oversensitive tissue. Physical training and healing necessary."

"Do you remember the last condition of Severus' hands, Poppy?" James asked while Maria scanned Severus' hands with magic.

"They were still infected and were healing very slowly. We couldn't start with therapy," Poppy explained.

Severus hissed and tried to pull his hands back when he felt a sharp pain. "Shh, Severus, it'll be over soon," James promised and sat down behind Severus, pulling him against his chest.

Maria concentrated on the diagnosis and the healing because she knew James would take care of the rest. Severus whimpered when another wave of pain shot through his hand, but James' soothing words made him not fight it. "It's over, Severus," Maria said and stroked Severus' hands soothingly. "I'm very proud of you."

Severus' breathing calmed down, and he relaxed in James arms.

"I prodded the nerves and stretched the sinews, but we need to repeat this at least once a day. I can come over here and do it," Maria stated.

"I can do it as well, Maria. It won't be necessary for you to come so often. You are a busy-" Poppy tried to argue, but was stopped by Maria.

"No, Poppy. It won't be good if you are the one doing it. Severus should not associate pain with you. You will have enough to do taking care of them. Let us help you. I will come over once a day and heal his hands and do some exercises with him," Maria said in a no-nonsense voice.

Severus whimpered and looked shocked at his hands. I have to go through this once a day? That's horrible.

"It will become less painful in a few days, Sev," Maria assured him. She tried using a nickname for the first time and waited to see how Severus would react. Obviously he did not care because he just nodded hopefully.

"Okay, Severus, I am going to auscultate your heart and lungs," Maria explained while procuring a small, flat metallic object that looked like a coin.

"What's that?" Harry whispered. He had never seen anything like it.

"It's a membrane. It helps Healer Meyers to hear Severus' heartbeat and the air that goes in and out of his lungs," Poppy explained patiently.

"Lungs intact. Low volume for the age of thirteen caused by the damage during his adulthood. No therapy necessary. Heart fully intact and according to his current age," Maria stated for the quill.

"Please lay down, Sev," Maria instructed.

Severus' ribs stood out even more in that position, and he crossed his arms over his torso because he could feel the looks of the adults on him.

Gently, Maria pried his hands away without saying anything. Then she prodded each rib and finally pushed on several spots on Severus' abdomen.

Severus was very nervous. He knew that Maria and the others would not be happy about his results. He almost jumped up when he felt the tickling feeling of the scanning magic in his stomach.

Maria shook her head sadly. "I fear Severus wasn't completely honest with you over the last few months, Poppy."

Severus closed his eyes, ashamed. He jerked a bit when he felt magic flow in his stomach again. This time, the magic was different. More soothing, like a humming through his body. Severus opened his eyes and saw James scanning him.

"Sever malnutrition. Sensitive stomach. Nutrient Potion necessary twice a day. Constant monitoring necessary." This time, it was James who stated the results of the examination for the quill. "Severus, you cannot go on like this or you won't have enough energy to heal and learn all the new things you have to learn. If you refuse to work together with us and your guardians regarding your eating disorder, you will be put in a clinic sooner or later," James said seriously.

Severus looked shocked. "I don't want to go to a clinic!"

"I know, and if you work together with us, that won't be necessary. At the moment, you are in bad shape. Healer Meyers and I will write out a diet plan for you, and Poppy and Alastor will keep an eye on you so you follow it. In addition, you need to take a Nutrient Potion, okay?" James said, eying Severus closely.

Severus nodded frantically. "Please, just don't send me away."

"We won't, Severus, but your condition is already very dangerous, and we have to react if you don't do what we say in this matter. We just want you to understand how serious this is," Healer Meyers added.

Severus nodded fearfully.

"Okay," Maria said, smiling reassuringly at Severus. "Now we need to examine your private parts." Maria waved her wand and conjured a small privacy screen. "Would you prefer if Healer Smith went with you for this part of the examination?"

Again, Severus nodded. He was glad that he did not have to pull his pants down in front of them all and that he did not need to have Healer Meyers examine him down there.

James smiled at him. "Then come, it won't take long."

Five minutes later they were done. Severus' face was red, but he did not look as if he had cried.

"We killed two birds with one stone," James said and placed a small cup with Severus' urine on the night table.

Severus blushed even more. When James had prodded his bladder, Severus had realized that he really needed to go to the loo. James had quickly used this opportunity and had pulled a cup out of his pocket. Severus had problems holding on again when the cup was full, and James had quickly applied a Bladder-Relieving Charm.

"Private parts intact and fully functional according to his current age," James stated for the quill to write it down. "Urine sample taken at 9:20pm."

The rest of the examination went by quickly, and then Maria waved her wand over him for around five minutes. "Almost done," Maria stated while the quill automatically wrote down the results of the diagnostic spells. "I'll scan you nervous system now. Just relax."

Severus felt the tickling before he could totally relax, but it stopped again. "Everything okay, Severus?" Maria asked, worried.

Severus nodded. "´Just need more time," he said tiredly.

"Okay, just nod when you are ready," Maria replied patiently.

Severus breathed in a few times and then nodded. The tickling started from his chest and spread over his whole body. It was not painful but was not comfortable. Severus breathed, relieved, when it was over.

"Would you scan him body to body, James? He is too tense for my magic," Maria said and destroyed Severus' hope that the examination was over.

"Of course," James replied. Smiling friendly at Severus he added, "I will sit behind you as I did when Healer Meyers scanned your hands, okay?" After Severus had nodded, James sat down. He shifted to find a comfortable position for himself and laid his left hand over Severus' stomach. "Just try to relax and lean backwards. That's it," James said, reassuring, when Severus leaned his head backwards on James' shoulder. When the boy had settled himself, James placed his right hand on Severus' forehead.

Severus tensed when the hand was placed on his forehead. This made it almost impossible for him to move, and he could only see the ceiling. He felt very vulnerable, but James' calming words made him relax after a while. Suddenly, an amazing calming magic flew through his body. The last bit of tension left Severus' body, and he sagged against James' chest. For Severus, it felt as if honey was running through his veins. Warm and calm. So relaxing. Nothing mattered except the warm and safe feeling. He groaned in protest when the feeling slowly ebbed. The chuckle against his back made him open his eyes.

"Back with us?" James asked, amused.

Severus blushed. "That was...." He was speechless.

James chuckled again. "You are very tired, and your body absorbs all kinds of calming magic up like a sponge. Normally, you wouldn't zoom out like that when I'll heal or scan you. Do you feel better?"

Severus nodded. He really felt better. Much better.

"I thought so." James looked over to Maria and became serious again. "His nerves are damaged severely. Some of the damage is from exposure to the Cruciatus Curses in his adulthood, but the potion also seems to have had an effect. Another problem is that the potion is still active in his body." Severus tensed in his arms, and James let another dose of Calming Magic flow into the boy. "Shh, Severus, there is no damage we cannot heal in the next month. You will be a normal boy."

After Severus relaxed again, James went on, this time addressing the quill. "Unstable and damaged nerve connections caused by Dark spells during his adulthood and the de-aging. No dead nerves. De-aging potion is still active. Current age, twelve years and ten months."

"No," Severus said miserably.

Maria cupped his face with both hands. "Severus, a few months more or less doesn't matter."

Severus looked disbelievingly at the Healer. "It does!" A quick glance over to Harry let the adults see Severus' reason behind his protesting.

"You are still older than Harry, Severus. The activity of the potion in your system was very low already. I don't think you will de-age more than one or two months from now," James assured Severus. His attempt to calm the boy with this statement was unsuccessful.

"More? I don't want it to de-age me more!" Severus said, panicking. He started to claw at his chest as if he could pull the potion out of his body.

James grabbed Severus' arms and held them close to his body so the boy could not hurt himself. "Shh, Severus, stop. Maybe the potion won't de-age you anymore."

Maria's reproaching look made him feel even guiltier about his little lie than he had already felt. The potion would effect Severus' age as long as it was active in his body. He looked apologizing to Maria and was relieved when he saw her face become gentler again.

"How will this nerve damage affect him?" Alastor asked, worried and confused by all the Healer talk.

"I cannot say for sure. Some will not affect him at all, but some will. We can only see by keeping a close eye on him. Severus will be the first person to notice any problems, and he will need to come to one of us and tell us about it. You will do so, right, Severus?" James asked gently.

"But you won't send me to a clinic?" Severus asked uncertainly.

"No, we won't send you to a clinic, but we may need to heal or help you with those problems. Some nerve connections will heal themselves while you exercise. For example, your bladder problem a few minutes ago. That's a nerve connection problem, but it will soon be healed. You will learn to read your body signs again as you were able to as an adult and maybe even better than before. Of course, it may take some time. Even if you have a little accident the next time, it wouldn't be something bad," James explained.

Severus face was so hot from embarrassment that he thought it would explode. Accident? I haven't had an accident like this since I was four, and Father beat me like hell for it, Severus thought fearfully. He knew that Alastor would not beat him for something like this, but Severus did not want to have an accident. I will just go to the loo as often as possible. Yes, that will help. It had helped the first time, and it would help now as well.

James was relieved when Severus relaxed again. "It is useless to explain all the possible problems your damaged nerve connections could cause. I would advise that you just watch him closely and encourage him to speak about any problems," James said to Alastor and Poppy and then looked at Severus. "Severus, it is important that you speak with your guardians, Healer Meyers, or myself if you realize anything weird, especially while you are in classes. We can help you if you have problems, but we can only do so if you are honest with us."

"Okay. Are you finished with the examination?" Severus asked hopefully.

Maria sighed. "We still need your blood, Severus."

Immediately, Severus tensed in James' embrace again. "We already promised to numb the spot, Severus," James assured while Maria rummaged in her bag for the syringe and the numbing and disinfectant salve.

Poppy sat down beside James and slowly stroked Severus' sweaty hair.

When Harry saw the syringe and Severus' fearful look, he hid in Alastor's shoulder. "It's not as bad as it looks, Harry," Alastor assured the frightened boy.

Harry was not convinced and just shook his head against Alastor's chest. At least the calming circles Alastor drew on his back were soothing.

Severus whined in protest, big brother or not, when James bent his arm away from his body so that Healer Meyers could numb the spot where she wanted to put the syringe in with the salve.

"Come on, Severus. It will be over in a minute. Please try to relax," Maria said, but Severus was way too scared to relax. Maria shook her head, frustrated, and James sent more Calming Magic to Severus. The moment he stopped, Maria put the syringe in Severus' arm.

Severus flinched. It really was just a small sting and an uncomfortable pressure. "That's my boy," Poppy said calmingly, still stroking Severus' hair.

"All done, Severus. You were very brave," Healer Meyers said.

"Yes, I'm very impressed, Severus," James praised him as well.

Severus relaxed and smiled, relieved. He ignored the annoyed voice in his head that told him that they were making fun of him and that he should not behave like a small child. Severus did not care because it felt as if he had run a thousand miles. He was very exhausted and proud that he had made it. He took gladly the chocolate frog Healer Meyers gave him for his cooperation.

-II-

Harry was not convinced and just shook his head against Alastor's chest. At least the calming circles Alastor drew on his back were soothing.

Severus whined in protest, big brother or not, when James bent his arm away from his body so that Healer Meyers could numb the spot where she wanted to put the syringe in with the salve.

"Come on, Severus. It will be over in a minute. Please try to relax," Maria said, but Severus was way too scared to relax. Maria shook her head, frustrated, and James sent more Calming Magic to Severus. The moment he stopped, Maria put the syringe in Severus' arm.

Severus flinched. It really was just a small sting and an uncomfortable pressure. "That's my boy," Poppy said calmingly, still stroking Severus' hair.

"All done, Severus. You were very brave," Healer Meyers said.

"Yes, I'm very impressed, Severus," James praised him as well.

Severus relaxed and smiled, relieved. He ignored the annoyed voice in his head that told him that they were making fun of him and that he should not behave like a small child. Severus did not care because it felt as if he had run a thousand miles. He was very exhausted and proud that he had made it. He took gladly the chocolate frog Healer Meyers gave him for his cooperation.

-II-

"What do you think, Harry, can we examine you today as well? Then you don't have to worry about it overnight," James said kindly.

Harry still sat on Alastor's lap, clinging to the old man. A quick glance to Poppy and Severus did not help him. Poppy was looking hopefully at him, and Severus was happily munching on his Chocolate Frog with a joy as if he had never had one before.

"Harry, we can wait until tomorrow morning, but we will have to examine you nevertheless. If you want to wait, we will cast a Monitoring Spell on you for the night. That's okay with us, but we fear that you will worry so much that you won't able to sleep," Maria explained, smiling friendly.

"I don't know," Harry said insecurely. He did not want to be examined, but knowing that it would happen in the morning gave him a horrible feeling in his stomach.

"You saw what the examination is about, Harry. There is nothing scary. Why are you worried?" James asked calmly.

"What if...what if I'm damaged?" Harry stuttered fearfully. Damn, why do I have to behave like this? I feel as if I'm eight and not twelve. What if the potion is still active in me as well and I will de-age until I'm eight? I don't want to be eight! Harry thought, panicking.

"Harry...Harry! Calm down," a voice said close to Harry's ear as he was pulled into another's lap. The voice went on speaking calming words, and Harry felt a soothing feeling like a humming go through his body. Slowly, he could hear the voice clearer, but did not recognize it. Puzzled, he blinked and looked up at the person in whose lap he sat. Realizing that it was Healer Smith, he tried to wriggle out of the Healer's lap in embarrassment.

"It's okay, Harry. Shhh...let me calm you for a little longer. It was all a bit much today. It's normal that you are on edge," the Healer explained.

A hand touched his, and Harry jerked around. The soothing magic the Healer was filling him with was slowing him down, and he felt a bit dizzy by his sudden movement. He stared down at his hand because that felt better than looking straight. The hand that was curled around his was small, so Harry knew that it was Severus before he felt safe enough to look up.

"The Chocolate Frog was good," Severus said, childlike. "You will get one, too."

Harry was puzzled about Severus' choice of words, but then he remembered that Severus had behaved like this since they had woken up. Oh, Merlin, maybe our brains are still de-aging even so our bodies are like this, Harry thought, but the panic found no medium in him this time because of the magic the Healer was still sending him. There was no anchor for it to hold on to, so the panicking thoughts started to fade.

"Harry, would you please tell us what's going on in your head?" James asked calmly.

Harry looked uncertain from Severus to James. After a short hesitation, Harry leaned over to whisper in James' ear. "What if we never stop de-aging? Severus is behaving oddly. Before the Ministry came, he wasn't like this."

James smiled at Harry. "You don't have to worry, Harry. The potion will stop affecting Severus soon. Maybe it isn't even active in you anymore. We don't know until we examined you. Severus won't behave like this forever. He is in the phase were his brain is sorting everything out. Memories are being suppressed and his body is fighting the remaining potion in his body. That makes him act a bit younger than twelve. Tomorrow, he will feel and act according to his age, and neither he nor you will de-age more than a few more months from now on. Like I said before, we haven't checked you through yet, so we can't tell you everything for sure."

The hand slipped out of Harry's, and he looked worriedly to his brother. Healer Meyers was sitting close to Severus and had tugged him to his bed. Severus must have been so exhausted that he had fallen asleep.

"Harry, we would prefer to examine you now. Then the Ministry won't breathe down on our necks, and we can talk with your headmaster about what will have to be changed in his current plans," James explained.

"Changes? What changes?" Harry asked, confused.

"Severus isn't the age Professor Dumbledore expected. We cannot let him attend third year. He will have to do a lot of work to heal, especially his nervous system. Overburdening him with magic beyond his age level wouldn't be a good thing. He will need a lot of help from you as well to catch up with the students his age. Remember his magic core and magical channels were almost destroyed by Voldemort? He has to not only learn everything again, but it also won't be as easy for him to learn it as it will be for you. A fixed band is never as flexible and stable as a new one. The new channels and core connections are scarred, and magic cannot flow so easily through them as your magic can flow through your channels, so it will be harder for Severus to learn. At least that's what we assume. You only de-aged around four years. That means your brain and body don't have to get used to as many changes as Severus'. That's why you are not as tired as he is and you don't behave younger than your age," James said, raising an eyebrow when he saw Harry's doubting look. "What does that look mean?"

"I feel I behave much younger than twelve. That's what made me panic. I fear my mind will not stop de-aging, even though my body stays like this. Can you see how old my mind is when you examine me?"

"Yes, we can," James said. He decided against telling Harry that he was absolutely sure that something like this would not happen. Not even an unstable potion would cause such an effect after so much time had passed after the accident. It was a chance to get Harry to agree to the examination. James could feel Maria's reproving headshake. The old witch was absolutely against manipulating patients like this, but James liked to use it in harmless situations.

"Then I want you to examine me now. I want to know how old I really am," Harry said, trying to sound brave, but failed miserably. Biting his bottom lip, he looked over to his guardians.

"Come over here, Harry," Poppy said, smiling encouragingly at him. "I will help you get ready for the examination."

On shaky legs, Harry padded over and sat down between Alastor and Poppy.

Alastor ruffled his hair. "It will be over soon, and it isn't so bad. Severus made it, so you will make it as well."

Poppy already started to unbutton his pajama top and slipped his arms out of it.

"Do you want Healer Meyers or me to do the examination?" James asked.

Harry bit his bottom lip again and looked back and forth between the two Healers. "Err...can we do it like with Severus?" Healer Meyers looked very nice and gentle and Healer Smith also was very calm and gentle, but Harry could not say why he would feel better with Healer Meyers. Maybe because she reminded him of Poppy. Even so, for the 'special' examination behind the private screen, Harry would prefer Healer Smith.

"That's absolutely fine with us, isn't it, Healer Meyers?" James asked the old witch.

"Of course, dear," she said, smiling brightly at Harry. "I will start with your head and eyes like I did with Severus, okay?"

Harry nodded nervously.

Like the Healers had guessed, Harry's results were much better than Severus'. "Beside some small nerve connection damage, there is hardly any harm from the potion. It is no longer active, Harry. You are twelve and almost a month," Healer Meyers assured him.

"Cool, that means I almost have the same birthday," Harry said, excited.

The adults looked puzzled at Harry. "Sometimes you teens think about things we adult don't even notice." Healer Meyers chuckled. "You will keep your birthday, Harry. Your exact age is only important for the examination. For the official papers, you are just twelve and you will keep your birthday."

"Oh, okay," Harry said. His mind was like a big cotton ball at the moment and many things did not make sense or did not seem important.

"You are tired, Harry. Sleep and we will talk about everything tomorrow together with Severus, okay?" Healer Meyers said. She had already maneuvered Harry into a lying position.

"But my Chocolate Frog," Harry protested weakly.

"He will wait for you on the night table, dear," Healer Meyers said softly and took the glasses off Harry's nose. Before she could place them on the night table, Harry was asleep.

______

The boys slept until nine and then the adults decided it was time to wake them. Severus groaned and turned around when Alastor shook his shoulder. "Come on, lad. It's time to wake up."

"Tired," Severus protested.

Harry looked worried over to Severus. Was he still acting like yesterday? The shocked look on his face must have given his thoughts away because Alastor said, "Remember, he was never able to form coherent sentences in the morning before he had his coffee and was fully awake."

"But Poppy doesn't allow him coffee," Harry stated.

"For good reason," Poppy said. "But Severus won't need it now. He just has to wake up properly and drink a nice cup of hot chocolate."

"I'm in the room," Severus grumbled and sat up.

"And the sun is rising," Alastor teased Severus and ruffled his hair.

"Hey," Severus protested and jumped out of the bed, unfortunately directly in front of Poppy.

The mediwitch instantly grabbed his face and kissed him on his forehead. "Good morning, my sweetheart."

"Eww," Severus grumbled and wiped his face with his sleeve. After a short scandalized look at Poppy, Severus grabbed his little brother by the arm. "Come on, Harry."

Harry followed Severus into the bathroom, smirking.

"So what did I miss yesterday? I swear there was something in my Chocolate Frog."

"You are paranoid," Harry said, laughing.

Severus glared at Harry and then suddenly realized that nature was calling. "Damn!" he cursed and squeezed his legs together.

Before Harry could offer to leave, Severus had jumped over to the toilet and relieved himself.

"This is bullshit!" Severus said.

Harry's eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he heard Severus swear. He was still gaping at him when Severus turned. "What?"

"You swore!"

"So what? Will you go to Mummy and Daddy and squeal?" Severus asked mockingly.

Harry pulled a face. "I liked you better when you acted younger." He turned to get his toothbrush, not wanting to look at Severus any longer.

Severus sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? You know I'm moody in the morning. My head is still buzzing and it feels like cotton balls are stuffed in it," Severus explained.

Harry looked worried at his brother. "You should tell Healer Meyers or Healer Smith, Severus. I don't feel anything different this morning."

"They will do more tests, but I just want to be left alone," Severus said grumpily, but he could not keep the sadness out of it.

"They will come and talk to us this morning. Healer Smith said that some things have to be changed. For example, the classes we have to take. I think they wanted to speak with Professor Dumbledore about it."

"Albus," Severus said sadly and gulped. Several different feelings and thoughts overcame him at the thought of the old man. Feelings of friendship, but also feelings of him as a father figure. Feelings of respect, trust, love, but also of fear, being overpowered, having no say in decisions....

"Severus? Severus, are you all right?" Harry asked, panicking when Severus groaned and pressed his hands against his ears. "Shall I get Poppy?"

"No," Severus pressed out between clenched teeth.

"I think it would be better, Severus!" Harry said pleadingly.

"No, I'm fine," Severus said and straightened up. "Let's finish here."

Harry looked skeptically over to Severus but then decided to just wait and see if this would happen again.

_________

"Kingsley?" Severus said, positively surprised. He had the urge to run over to the man and hug him, but he fought it. Instead, he walked over to him and offered his hand.

"So formal! Aren't we friends anymore?" Kingsley asked cheerfully, tilting his head sideways.

Severus could not suppress the urge any longer and hauled himself at his friend. Kingsley was one of the few friends he had, and hugging him felt so good. It was as if he had something from his old life that was still the same. But then he felt that he did not want to let go and wanted to stay in this hug for eternity, and that was definitely not something he would have done in his past life. A friendly hug, yes, but never a hug of comfort like this. He hid his head in Kingsley's shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Kingsley threw a worried look over to the Healers and patted Severus' back. "There is nothing to apologize for."

Severus sighed and fought against the tears that were forming in his eyes. These mood swings were horrible. "I do not want to be like this," he mumbled miserably into Kingsley's shoulder.

"I have heard that you will gain a lot from this situation, Severus. We are still friends. That will not change," Kingsley assured Severus.

Severus gave up his hiding place and looked at his friend directly. "But I am a child now."

"I don't care, Sev. You were a wreck when I last saw you. I think you look much better already, and I've only heard good news from the Healers. I hope you will be up for some fun soon."

"Fun?" Severus asked, excited, and smiled at Kingsley.

"Oh, my," Kingsley said theatrically, "you smiled at me."

Severus bopped his friend on the chest playfully. "You are stupid."

"Such language, Severus. I bet you will get yourself in trouble in record time." Kingsley chuckled, amused. He missed his old friend Severus, but the man he had visit several times after the war was just a shadow of the man he had made friends with. That was the reason why he was really happy about this new Severus, even if he was a child.

Severus glared at Kingsley and then realized that there were more people in the room. "Headmaster," Severus greeted the old man insecurely.

"It's still Albus in private, my boy," Albus said gently. "Why don't you two sit down and eat something? You must be very hungry." He wanted to say starving but caught himself before it could slip his lips. That would have been too macabre after the shocking news he had heard from the Healers about Severus' nutrient levels.

Harry had watched the whole scene between Severus and Kingsley sadly. He wished Remus was here so that he could hug the werewolf like Severus had hugged his friend. Harry had seen the two friends together a few times, so he was not surprised by this. Severus was also friends with Charlie Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks, but they were the only friends Severus had as far as Harry knew. Severus was alone almost all the time, and it was only when one or more of those three came over to pester him like hell that he decided to go out with them. After he was injured by Voldemort, Severus isolated himself from his friends and all their attempts to cheer him up were in vain.

"Harry?" Healers Meyers asked, and Harry jerked when she laid her arm around his shoulders. "Are you all right?"

Harry realized that he was still staring at Kingsley while he was deep in thought. He blushed and apologized.

"No problem, Harry. This all must be very confusing for you. How are you feeling?" the Minister asked.

"I'm fine. I feel much better than yesterday," Harry explained. "That's how it should feel right? I shouldn't have any trouble right now, should I?"

"Trouble like what?" Healers Meyers asked suspiciously.

"Ehm...." Harry threw a quick glance over to Severus, who glared at him. It was long enough for Healer Meyers and all the other adults to notice.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Healer Meyers prodded gently.

Harry looked down at his feet sadly. He did not want to squeal like Severus had accused him of a few minutes ago.

"Severus, can you tell me what this is about?" Healer Meyers asked, scanning every small change in his features closely like she was used to when he was an adult. This was not necessary because the twelve-year-old Severus was unable to hide his emotions like the adult one, and so his shock was written all over his face.

"I'm fine," he said too quickly.

"Severus, why don't you come over and let me have a short scan? You need to take your Nutrient Potion as well," James said, waving with a vial in his hand. The brownish, transparent liquid sloshed around in the vial, and Severus pulled a face. He knew how horrible the liquid tasted and how difficult it was to swallow the thick, almost syrup-like liquid.

Severus groaned, but nevertheless he padded over to the Healer. He was a bit shocked and embarrassed when he was pulled onto the Healer's lap, his back pressed against Healer Smith's chest. James stopped the scanning shortly after and assured the worried guardians and friends that everything was okay. "The instability of his mood is a normal reaction to the huge amount of de-aging, and the headache is still from the adjustments his mind has made overnight. The potion has left his system completely now, and he has only de-aged two more months." Speaking to Severus he added, "So you are twelve and six month now. Sometimes your body will still react confusingly, but soon you will adjust completely. Did you have the headache since you woke up or did something trigger it?"

Two month was not so bad. At least he was still older than Harry. Severus decided to work together with the Healer. He was kind and maybe he could make him feel better. "I had it from when I woke, but then I thought about something and it became really bad."

"Will you tell me what it you thought about?" James prodded, careful not to push Severus.

Severus bit his bottom lip. "Albus," he whispered.

"You thought about Albus and the headaches became worse?" James asked.

"Yes, there were many different feelings and memories running through my head. Even really old once from my time as a student. Then Harry distracted me, and the headache lessened again," Severus explained truthfully.

"That's what I meant about your body or mind being confused sometimes. In moments like this, more memories are being stored away. Most of this will happen overnight, so I hope this won't happen a lot in the future. I will give you a pain killer after you have taken your potion and have eaten at least half of your breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Severus nodded, and his stomach chose to growl at exactly that moment.

Healer Smith chuckled. "That's good, Severus. It seems your younger self has much more of an appetite than your older self. If it remains, you will get rid of this potion here in no time."

Severus groaned when the Healer took his right hand from his chest to open the vial.

"Come on, Severus, I know it doesn't taste good, but Poppy has made a wonderful cup of hot chocolate to flush the bad taste away afterward," James said, encouraging.

"But it goes down so slowly," Severus whined.

"If you relax, I can help you," James offered.

Severus craned his neck to look at the Healer without giving up his comfortable position against his chest. "How?"

"I can massage your throat while you drink it. That will help you to gulp it down more quickly." James smiled at the curious expression on Severus' face. Alastor had told him a lot about the adult Severus, and it was hard to believe that this boy was the same person. The young Severus was quite open, and he even relaxed on his lap. He also seemed to be a very curious and interested boy. James was known for his experience in working with traumatized patients, and he wondered what some of his patients would think about being de-aged and getting a new chance. Too bad that this kind of de-aging was too dangerous and not reversible.

"Okay, I will try," Severus said.

It was awkward, but it really was much easier to swallow the thick liquid with Healer Smith's help.

"Will he be like this or like the grumpy Severus I met this morning when all his memories are sorted?" Harry asked Healer Meyers in a soft voice.

"Like he is now, but from time to time he will be grumpy, Harry. That's just Severus' character. You knew him well as an adult, right?"

"Yes, he was always grumpy in the morning. This morning I thought I was talking with the adult Severus, but then he swore." Harry grinned. "It was weird."

"Some of his behavior will be the same as when he was an adult, Harry. That's just Severus' character. He is grumpy no matter if he is an adult or a teen. You are just confused because you are comparing him with his adult self." Maria felt Harry's mood change again. "What's wrong Harry?"

"I don't want him to change back again. I hope there won't be an antidote for the potion," Harry whispered and hid in Healer Meyers' robes.

-II-

"If you relax, I can help you," James offered.

Severus craned his neck to look at the Healer without giving up his comfortable position against his chest. "How?"

"I can massage your throat while you drink it. That will help you to gulp it down more quickly." James smiled at the curious expression on Severus' face. Alastor had told him a lot about the adult Severus, and it was hard to believe that this boy was the same person. The young Severus was quite open, and he even relaxed on his lap. He also seemed to be a very curious and interested boy. James was known for his experience in working with traumatized patients, and he wondered what some of his patients would think about being de-aged and getting a new chance. Too bad that this kind of de-aging was too dangerous and not reversible.

"Okay, I will try," Severus said.

It was awkward, but it really was much easier to swallow the thick liquid with Healer Smith's help.

"Will he be like this or like the grumpy Severus I met this morning when all his memories are sorted?" Harry asked Healer Meyers in a soft voice.

"Like he is now, but from time to time he will be grumpy, Harry. That's just Severus' character. You knew him well as an adult, right?"

"Yes, he was always grumpy in the morning. This morning I thought I was talking with the adult Severus, but then he swore." Harry grinned. "It was weird."

"Some of his behavior will be the same as when he was an adult, Harry. That's just Severus' character. He is grumpy no matter if he is an adult or a teen. You are just confused because you are comparing him with his adult self." Maria felt Harry's mood change again. "What's wrong Harry?"

"I don't want him to change back again. I hope there won't be an antidote for the potion," Harry whispered and hid in Healer Meyers' robes.

-II-

Severus could choose between two options for breakfast. Option number one was a bowl of cereal with milk and fruits. The second option was two rolls with whatever he wanted on them plus a fruit. In addition to both options he had to drink a cup of hot chocolate. Severus chose the cereal, but halfway through the bowl, he lost appetite and only played around with the food. He felt so full.

"Here, Severus, drink the potion, but then you need to finish your bowl. There wasn't very much in it," Healer Smith said.

"I'm full," Severus protested and drank the pain killer. Relieved, he realized that it worked immediately. He started to play with his breakfast again. Maybe it will vanish in the milk if I crunch it up really small, Severus thought hopefully and started to mash the cereal with his spoon.

"Severus!" A voice left from him warned and a hand grabbed his. "Stop," Poppy ordered in her no-nonsense voice.

Severus looked fearfully at her. Her expression was kind but determined. "But I'm full."

"You are not, Severus. You want us to stop the nutrient potion as soon as possible, don't you?" Poppy asked, still holding his hand.

Severus glared at her. "That's not fair."

"We're saving your life, Severus. You are almost starved," Poppy said strictly.

Severus looked helplessly at Poppy. When she released his hand and ordered him to go on eating, he reluctantly did so. He had the feeling the food was not fitting in his stomach, but in the end he managed it. Relieved, he laid his spoon down.

"Don't forget the apple slices, Severus," Alastor reminded him.

"But I can't," Severus said miserably.

"Only two of the four, Severus. Then we will stop pestering you," Healer Meyers instructed.

Severus gnawed at the apple slices and needed almost ten minutes to do so.

"Albus, I fear I must leave. I will just go down to visit Charlie if that is okay with you," Kingsley said, a bit uncomfortable.

"Kingsley, you are free to visit Charlie's office whenever you want. I can set up a special password for you to Floo into his quarters directly from your home or office," Albus said, his prominent twinkle in his eyes.

Kingsley looked shocked at Albus and opened his mouth a few times to reply, but nothing came out.

"Really, Kingsley, I don't know why you two have to make a big secret out of your relationship, but I can assure you that you don't fool us," Albus said, amused. "What is the problem? That you are gay or the age difference?"

"Albus, I...we...." Kingsley stuttered.

Severus grinned. "You look like a fish out of water."

Kingsley glared at Severus. "That's not funny, Severus." Looking at Albus again, he added, "Albus, it's not like you think."

"Kingsley, the whole Order knows about your relationship, and we are all happy that you found each other. Without his relationship with you, Charlie would have never agreed to stay here as our new Potions Master, so we really have to thank you for it," Albus said teasingly.

"Albus, please," Kingsley said, blushing, and gestured with his eyes to the two Healers.

"Healer Meyers and Healer Smith won't tell the press that the Minister has a relationship with the red-headed Potions Master at Hogwarts, will they?" Albus asked the Healers, amused.

"All we are interested in is your relationship to Severus and Harry, Mr. Shacklebolt. The more you are in the castle, the better for Severus. You two seem to be good friends, and Severus will need good friends now," Healer Meyers explained, almost bored.

"I have meeting with all the Heads of House in an hour, so Charlie is free until then. Enjoy your time," the headmaster said and grinned, amused, when Kingsley blushed.

"You sure do blush a lot, Kings," Severus teased.

"You really are a brat, Sev," Kingsley said. "I'll come over and check on you in a few days. Maybe we can do something together next weekend."

Severus' eyes lit up at the offer. "Cool!"

Kingsley had to suppress his laughter and just grinned at Severus' choice of words. "Indeed cool."

Severus glared at Albus, who did not even try to suppress his amusement and was chuckling madly.

"Until then, Kingsley," Alastor said, and with a last wave of his hand, Kingsley left through the fireplace.

"That was funny," Severus said. He looked over to Harry and became worried when he saw the sad expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I just thought about Ron and Hermione...and Remus."

"They will come over in an hour, Harry. Alastor and I will be with Severus in the meeting Albus already mentioned. You can hang out with Hermione and Ron in your room. Remus already spoke with them about what happened, and they are very eager to see you," Poppy explained. "Remus will join you when the meeting is over."

Harry's face lit up. "Really?"

"Really," Poppy assured, amused.

"We will leave in a few minutes, but please let me check you before we leave, Harry," Healer Meyers said.

"Didn't you want to speak with us?" Harry asked while Healer Meyers got in position behind him.

"We already spoke with Professor Dumbledore. He will explain everything to you two," Healer Meyers said and started the scanning. After three minutes, she was finished and said, "You are still very tired, Harry. I think it is best if you two have a nap after lunch. If you feel exhausted in school, you also have to come back here and rest. Your teachers have already been informed about this. You just need to tell them if you head back here to rest. If you don't feel well, they will send for Poppy to get you," Healer Meyers explained.

"I'm fine," Harry assured. Leaving classes because I'm tired? I would be the laugh of the class then. It will be hard enough to go to school with all those small kids, Harry thought, frustrated.

"Harry, it is important that you rest when you feel exhausted. Being de-aged isn't something to take lightly. We need you to be reliable. Passing out in class or being forced to have bed rest would be much more embarrassing than saying that you are exhausted," Healer Meyers said reproachfully.

Harry groaned and looked over to Severus. His brother looked paler than before, and he looked fearful.

"We will come and check on the boys tomorrow after classes. I will start the therapy for Severus' hands then as well. Today, I would like to have him rest. Did you manage to contact Mrs. Bonners?" Healer Meyers asked Poppy.

"Yes, she is awaiting us in her shop this afternoon, so we can buy all the clothes for the boys. Albus managed to gather all the school items for Severus and Harry, so we don't have to worry about that," Poppy explained.

"That's good," James said and stood up. "If there are any problems, don't hesitate to contact us." He looked at Harry. "This is emergency powder. You just have to throw it into the fireplace, and Maria or I will come over as soon as possible. The tin will refill itself automatically."

"Maria?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"That's me, dear," Healers Meyers explained.

"Yes, and you can call me James. We will spend a lot of time together because we have to check on you two for at least half a year for any problems caused by the potion," Healer Smith said.

"But you will still look for an antidote, won't you?" Severus asked, shocked about how final this all sounded.

Maria sighed and went over to Severus. She ran a hand over Severus' head and then explained softly, "Severus, there won't be an antidote. The potion will still be tested for more information, but only to know about any dangers that could still appear. There is no way to reverse this."

A tear ran down his cheek. "I do not want to be twelve."

"I know, sweetheart," Maria said and pressed Severus against her. "You will manage. You have such wonderful people by your side. Alastor and Poppy love you like a son, and Harry will be your little brother, Severus. You will be okay."

Severus sobbed into Maria's robes, but he calmed down with her skilled hands and soothing words. "Everything will be okay, Severus," she assured him one last time and kissed him on the forehead.

Severus nodded in hope that this would make it real.

"Here is some emergency powder for you as well, Severus. Emergency means whenever you need us, not only when you are in danger. So if you have any questions you don't want to ask your guardians or if you feel unwell and want one of us to check on you, you can use the powder. Don't hesitate to use it. You can call us day or night," Maria said, determined. She looked from one boy to the other. "Both of you."

Harry nodded, and Severus as well after Maria looked at him demandingly.

When the Healers were gone, the adults guided the boys over to the comfortable seats in the living room. "We need to talk about school, boys," Albus said cheerfully.

Severus gnawed on his bottom lip, and Harry looked interested at the old man.

"We can't let you attend third year classes now that we know that you have de-aged to twelve and six month, Severus," Albus explained, carefully eyeing Severus for any reaction.

Severus face fell. "You can't let me be one year under Harry. I'm still older than him," he protested.

"Of course not," Albus said, twinkling madly. "We thought about letting Harry attend third year for your benefit. Now that you are twelve as well, you will both attend second year classes."

Severus groaned. "They are babies."

Albus chuckled. "They are the same age as you are, my boy."

Severus glared at Albus, but that amused the old man even more.

"You will both attend second year classes," he repeated and looked from one boy to the other. Both did not look happy, but neither protested. "All the staff has been informed about your condition and about the Healers' advice. I also want to ask you two to be very honest and admit when you feel unwell. The potion can have side effects and-"

"Albus!" Poppy said warningly.

That made Severus suspicious. "What? What are you hiding?"

Poppy glared at Albus.

"What is it, Albus? Please tell us. We need to know if there is something wrong with us," Severus said, agitated, and jumped up.

"There is nothing wrong with you two, Severus," Poppy said and pulled him down beside her. "We didn't want you two to worry too much and therefore we decided to not tell you about it. Sometimes when you worry too much about getting a side effect, you really will show the symptoms just because you imagine it. That's why we didn't want you to know what side effects could appear." Poppy glared again at Albus, who had the modesty to blush.

"Please tell me," Severus pleaded.

Poppy sighed. "The potion you two mixed was unstable. St. Mungo's checked it through, but it still changed again and again. Therefore, they have no chance of making an antidote and they cannot say for sure what side effects the potion will have on you two. That's the reason why James and Maria will check on your for the next half a year and maybe even longer. Severus, you already heard yesterday that there is some nerve connection damage in your brain. And Harry...." Poppy sighed again when the short-haired boy looked nervously at her. "Harry, even though your test yesterday was much better than Severus', the Healers can't say if it will stay like this. The next days and weeks will show us more, but there are several things that could appear."

"Like what?" Harry asked, worried.

"Please, Harry, it won't help you two if I tell you all the possibilities," Poppy said, depressed.

"Please tell us, Poppy," Severus pleaded and looked at her with a puppy look.

Again she sighed. "The most likely effect will be concentration problems or unusual tiredness. You two may also react very emotionally in situation where you normally wouldn't react like that. Panic attacks might overcome you more easily, you could lose your memories temporarily...please don't make me go on," Poppy pleaded sadly.

Severus and Harry both stared wide-eyed at her. After shaking himself out of his stupor, Harry went over to Poppy and hugged her. "We will be okay, Poppy."

Poppy smiled sadly. "I hope so."

"It is important that you don't hide symptoms from us or the Healers, boys," Alastor said from his armchair. "We can help you with all those problems, but we need to be informed if you notice them."

Harry nodded, but Severus still looked shocked. Poppy gently cupped his face and said, "You will be okay, Severus. We are here for you."

Severus nodded. Poppy would make it okay, he was sure of that.

-II-

"Like what?" Harry asked, worried.

"Please, Harry, it won't help you two if I tell you all the possibilities," Poppy said, depressed.

"Please tell us, Poppy," Severus pleaded and looked at her with a puppy look.

Again she sighed. "The most likely effect will be concentration problems or unusual tiredness. You two may also react very emotionally in situation where you normally wouldn't react like that. Panic attacks might overcome you more easily, you could lose your memories temporarily...please don't make me go on," Poppy pleaded sadly.

Severus and Harry both stared wide-eyed at her. After shaking himself out of his stupor, Harry went over to Poppy and hugged her. "We will be okay, Poppy."

Poppy smiled sadly. "I hope so."

"It is important that you don't hide symptoms from us or the Healers, boys," Alastor said from his armchair. "We can help you with all those problems, but we need to be informed if you notice them."

Harry nodded, but Severus still looked shocked. Poppy gently cupped his face and said, "You will be okay, Severus. We are here for you."

Severus nodded. Poppy would make it okay, he was sure of that.

-II-

Severus nervously bit his bottom lip as he waited for the teachers to arrive. Minerva was the first to come through the Floo.

"Severus," she said and went over to him quickly. "I'm so glad that you are okay." Without warning, she hugged him.

The long-haired boy was shocked. He hadn't thought that Minerva would be so worried about him. "I wouldn't say so."

Minerva looked at him and could not resist the urge to brush back a loose wisp of hair from his face. "You could have died, Severus."

"Maybe it would have been better," Severus said sullenly, but regretted saying so as soon as it left his mouth. All around him he heard shocked noises, and Alastor even growled.

"Don't say thing like that, Severus. Going through childhood again isn't so bad, and you will survive going to school again as well," Minerva said seriously.

Severus pulled a face. "Don't do that or your face will get stuck," Minerva said, amused, and poked Severus in his ribs.

"Minerva," Severus said between giggles.

A giggling Severus is something I could really get used to, Minerva thought, relieved that Severus had stopped brooding.

"Err...Professor McGonagall, I mean," Severus said when she stopped tickling him.

"It's Minerva like it has been for the past sixteen years, my boy. Only in class will it be Professor McGonagall," she said and then looked at Harry. "I'm glad to see you are well, too."

"Thank you, Professor," Harry said, smiling. She ruffled Harry's hair and sat down between both boys.

The next two persons who came through the fireplace were Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick. "Oh, Merlin," Sprout exclaimed when her eyes fell on Severus. "He is so cute."

Severus glared daggers at the witch. "I'm in the room."

Filius chuckled. "Don't set her on fire, Severus. You know her."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to; I don't have my wand," Severus said, frustrated, and glared at Alastor.

"You and Harry will get your wands after the meeting. We had to give them to the Ministry for an inspection, but Kingsley brought them back this morning," Alastor explained.

Pomona, meanwhile, had hugged Harry and was now on her way to Severus, who looked mortified.

The tiny wizard chuckled seeing the help-seeking look that was directed at him by Severus. "I can't stop her, Severus."

"You are the best dueling wizard-"

"Oh, you are so cute, Severus," Pomona said and pinched his cheeks.

"Pomona, I'm twelve, not four!" Severus protested and leaned backwards when she hovered over him.

"Oh, how I wish you were one of my Hufflepuffs, Severus," she said and kissed his cheek. "I would take good care of you, and my second years would watch out for you."

"Or they would kick me the moment you turn around," Severus mumbled bitterly.

"They wouldn't," Pomona exclaimed, shocked. "If any of my children harass you, I want you to come straight to me, Severus," the witch said, determined.

"Yeah, sure, so they will pick on me for being a traitor as well. Oh, wait, that's nothing new, is it?" Severus said sullenly.

Pomona eyed him, worried. "Severus, you will be fine."

"Sure," Severus said, not convinced. He was relieved when the fireplace flared again and distracted Pomona.

"Ron! Hermione!" Harry screamed, excited, and went over to his friends. He stopped only inches in front of Ron. He had to look up to see the face of his friend. With his mouth hanging open, he stared at the red-head and did not even notice when Remus and Charlie stepped out of the fireplace behind Ron and Hermione.

Ron looked down at Harry and did not know what to say, so Hermione broke the silence. "We are so relieved that you are okay, Harry." She hugged him and did not care that Harry hardly reached her shoulder.

"I'm a dwarf," Harry said sadly, still in Hermione's tight embrace.

"You are not," Hermione said when she stepped back. "You are healthy. That's important." She smiled at Harry and the boy relaxed.

Harry looked back at Ron. He was very tall, and Harry only reached his chest. Sadly, he looked at his best friend. How could they be friends now? Harry felt like a little baby compared to Ron.

"Hey, mate," Ron said uncertainly.

"Hey," Harry said shyly. A hand was placed on his shoulder, and Harry turned around.

Remus smiled down at the tiny black-haired boy. "Hello, Harry."

Harry smiled. "Remus!" He threw himself at the werewolf and hugged him tightly.

"Hey, cub," Remus said, smiling, and hugged the teen closely. "How are you?"

"I'm better now. I wanted to see you!" Harry said, not loosening his grip.

Remus chuckled. "I wanted to see you as well, but you were already asleep when I came to check on you yesterday."

Harry stepped backwards and grinned happily at his old friend. When he saw Charlie beside him, he smiled at him. "Hi, Charlie!"

"Hey, Harry!" Charlie said trying to smile, but his worry for Severus was nagging at him. His friend had left the room the moment they had stepped through the fireplace.

"Why don't you three go into your room, Harry? I'm sure you have a lot to talk about," Remus said cheerfully. He had also seen Severus flee from the room, and he hoped it had been Ron and Hermione who made him feel uncomfortable and not him. They had become friendly over the last year, but Poppy had said that some memories would be suppressed, and so he feared Severus would only remember their bad times now. All the effort to get Severus to trust him might have been in vain.

When the three teens had left, the adults were standing around, a bit helpless.

"I will check on Severus," Charlie said and vanished into the hall that led to the bedrooms and the bathroom. After checking Severus' room, Charlie went for the bathroom. "Severus? Are you in there?"

"Are you alone?" a fearful voice asked back.

"Yes, let me in," Charlie pleaded.

Shuffling, a click, and then more shuffling was heard through the door. Charlie looked around, puzzled, when he entered the bathroom and did not see Severus immediately. Finally, he spotted him huddled up under the sink. "What's wrong, Severus?"

"I don't want to go to school," Severus stated.

Charlie sighed and sat down on the toilet. "Any chance that you'll come out from under there and speak to me normally?"

When no answer came, Charlie crouched down under the sink as well. It was uncomfortable, but he could sit under it. "Come on, Sev. What's so bad about it?"

"Everything. All the students, Remus, Pomona...everyone," Severus said miserably.

"Me?" Charlie asked.

Severus looked sideways at his friend but did not say anything.

"We are still friends, Sev. All the teachers and I will keep an eye on you. We will act if someone bullies you," Charlie said, knowing from Kingsley that that was Severus' biggest fear. "Remus will not bully you. He was worried about you when we were informed about the accident."

"I hate it all," Severus said, determined.

"But you can't change it. You have to try to make the best out of it," Charlie said. "We are still friends."

"I'm a kid now," Severus protested.

"I don't care. Of course, I would prefer to have the old Sev back, but not the depressed and withdrawn one from the last months. I prefer to have this younger you than the depressed you."

"I'm depressed now, too," Severus said sullenly.

"No, you are just scared and frustrated," Charlie stated. "Come on; let's go back to the living room. The others will worry if we don't come back."

"Are they gone?" Severus asked.

"Who?"

"They!"

"Severus!"

Sigh. "Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley."

"Severus, there is no need to call them by their family names any longer. It's Hermione and Ron. Come on, try it."

Severus glared at Charlie.

"I mean it. Try to say it," Charlie said.

"Why?"

"Because it is the first step to coming out from under the sink," Charlie explained.

Severus groaned, realizing how childish this hiding was. "Hermione and Ron," he mumbled.

"Great. It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Yes, it was," Severus said grumpily.

"Ah, my grumpy friend is back," Charlie said.

"Little grumpy Severus," Severus said, melancholic.

"You aren't little. You are at least one head taller than Harry," Charlie said to lift the mood. "You know what? Now Kingsley and I can try to get you into flying and Quidditch." He grinned at Severus, who rolled his eyes. "Come on, let go back," Charlie said, pulling Severus out from under the sink.

"But Remus-" Severus protested.

"-Is your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and you have to face him sooner or later," Charlie ended Severus' sentence.

Severus groaned and looked pleadingly at Charlie. "No puppy looks, Sev," Charlie said, amused. He was really starting to enjoy being the older one in their friendship.

"Shouldn't we check on them?" Pomona asked, worried.

"Give Charlie a bit more time. I'm certain they are sorting out how their friendship will work," Albus said patiently.

A few minutes later, Charlie entered the living room and Severus patted in behind him, his head down.

Severus sat between Minerva and Poppy and did not lift his head. He did not know where Remus sat, so he did not want to risk looking at him by accident.

"You didn't have the chance to greet Remus, Severus." Albus destroyed Severus' plan of avoiding the werewolf.

"Hi...Re-Professor Lupin," Severus said between gritted teeth.

"It's still Remus, Severus. I thought we had resolved our disputes amicably?" Remus said calmly.

Severus shrugged his shoulders, but did not look up.

Albus sighed. "Maybe it's best if you two have a talk in private after this meeting."

Severus looked up at the headmaster. "You cannot avoid looking at Remus in classes," Albus said patiently.

Severus glared at the old man and jumped when Poppy laid her hand on his leg. "Severus, Remus and you came to an agreement last year. This hasn't changed, has it, Remus?"

"Of course not," Remus assured. "I think it is a good idea for us to talk in private after the meeting."

"Hmm."

"I will take that as a 'yes,'" Albus said, twinkling. "Let's start the meeting then. Severus, we are here to settle all of the questions you might have and discuss a re-Sorting."

"Re-Sorting? You said there wouldn't be a re-Sorting," Severus said, puzzled.

"I had a discussion with your Healers this morning, and they suggested that it would be good to discuss a re-Sorting with you," Albus said, eying Severus closely.

Severus felt relieved. He was very apprehensive about spending time in Slytherin and in the dungeons. He could not say why. If he had the chance to be resorted, maybe he would not land in the snake's pitch again.

"So what do you think about a re-Sorting?" Albus asked, already knowing the answer because the boy did not have the abilities of his older self to mask his emotions.

Severus bit his bottom lip nervously. "I think I would like to try the Sorting Hat again."

"That's a good idea, Severus, even though Filius would love to have you in Slytherin," Minerva said friendly.

"Filius?" Severus asked, puzzled, and looked around for the small wizard.

"Yes, we had to make some changes. I took over Slytherin and Remus took over Gryffindor. Minerva is quite occupied with her duties as Deputy Headmistress and with her responsibility for the home schooled children as well. She is sharing the duties of Head of Ravenclaw House with Charlie," Filius explained, grinning at the dumbfounded Severus.

All that Severus could say to this was, "Oh."

"I think it is best when we re-Sort you before breakfast tomorrow in the Great Hall so the students can see which house you are Sorted into," Albus suggested.

Mentioning the students made Severus' stomach twist again. He looked down at his hands and almost bit through his bottom lip.

"Severus, please stop that," Poppy said and lifted Severus' chin. It hurt her to see Severus so worried. They had thought about homeschooling Severus, but they wanted the boys to learn together, and they could not hide from the rest of the students forever. Homeschooling would not be as helpful to them as taking part in classes. They needed the social interaction.

"What do you think will happen that makes you so nervous about going to school again, Severus?" Albus asked.

"Everything."

Albus raised an eyebrow.

Severus groaned. "They will hate me. No," he said to stop the adults' protests, "I know that you want to say that they won't do so and that you all will look out for me, but you cannot be everywhere. Besides, being the pet of the teachers will not help," Severus said, agitated.

"Severus, you will hardly be our pet," Minerva said. "Of course, there may be a few students who will mock you, but there won't be bullying like the first time. Now that we know the extent of the bullying, we are all sorry for not intervening earlier. This won't happen again. I promise you that," Minerva said, determined.

"Severus, you can come to any of us if there is a problem, and we will solve it. You will be okay," Filius said as softly as his squeaking voice allowed.

"You know that I'm sorry for what happened during our school days. You remember that we spoke about it?" Remus asked carefully.

"Yes, I do," Severus replied.

Remus sighed, relieved. "It only went so far because nobody beside Minerva tried to stop us and you didn't open up to anyone about how bad our bullying was. It won't happen again. We have already spoken with all the houses about what happened, and we have made it very clear that we will punish any kind of bullying against you or Harry."

"I don't want you all to intercede on my behalf. This is embarrassing," Severus said.

"It isn't, Severus," Albus said. "You and Harry are in a difficult situation, and you need all the support you can get."

Severus did not know what to think. He hated being left alone with the problems that could arise, but he also did not want to look like a squealer.

"We won't look away, Severus. Nothing you could say will stop us from watching out for you and Harry," said Albus. "Are there other questions or worries we should discuss?"

Severus shook his head.

"Are you sure?" Poppy prodded.

"Yes" Severus announced.

"Would you like to talk in your room with Remus or would you prefer if we left so you can use the living room?" Albus asked.

Severus shrugged his shoulders. "My room is fine." Shyly, he looked over to Remus, who smiled at him reassuringly.

"Then off you go, my boys," Albus instructed, the famous twinkle prominent in his eyes.

-II-

"We won't look away, Severus. Nothing you could say will stop us from watching out for you and Harry," said Albus. "Are there other questions or worries we should discuss?"

Severus shook his head.

"Are you sure?" Poppy prodded.

"Yes" Severus announced.

"Would you like to talk in your room with Remus or would you prefer if we left so you can use the living room?" Albus asked.

Severus shrugged his shoulders. "My room is fine." Shyly, he looked over to Remus, who smiled at him reassuringly.

"Then off you go, my boys," Albus instructed, the famous twinkle prominent in his eyes.

-II-

"Severus, what's the problem?" Remus asked when Severus made no move to start the conversation for three minutes. They had gone into Severus' room and the boy had sat down on his bed with his eyes cast down on his hands in his lap.

"There is nobody here to stop you, so you can start mocking me now. I won't tell anyone," Severus said sadly.

Remus shook his head in pity. "I'm here to stop me, Severus. I would never mock you. I've grown up in many ways. I hope you will stop thinking like this and come to one of us teachers the moment someone starts to mock or bully you. You don't deserve something like that."

Severus just shook his head in despair. He knew that his school life would be a living hell. "Alastor promised to find another solution during the Christmas holiday. So I don't have to go to Hogwarts after then."

Remus looked skeptically. This was not a topic during their last two staff meetings. "Even if that is true, you don't need to let others bully you. Why are you so stubborn?"

"Because my life sucks, that's why!" Severus shouted and looked angrily at Remus.

"Language, Severus, but I prefer that you are now looking at me and communicating," Remus said.

"I... I taught them, Remus! Now I'm younger than them. They will hate me like they hated me as an adult, but now I can get in trouble with them. My magic...." Severus looked shocked at Remus. Why did he say so much? He was suddenly reminded of the fact that he still did not have his wand back. Panic rose up, and it must have started to show because Remus looked alarmed.

"Severus? Severus? Are you okay?" Remus asked and stood up from his chair.

Oh, no, he's realized that I don't have a wand, Severus thought in panic and crawled backwards.

Remus stopped abruptly when he saw Severus back away from him. He held his hands up for Severus to see them. "I'm not going to harm you, Severus. You are working yourself into a panic attack at the moment. Please calm down. Breathe calmly."

Severus shook his head to clear it. Again, only cotton wool was in his head and the stabbing pain came back. Pictures of Remus and the other Marauders tormenting him and of Remus as a werewolf came into his mind.

"Severus, please, you must calm down," Remus sent a Patronus to Poppy and sat down on the bed. Severus was shaking like a leaf. "Severus, are you in pain?" He touched the distressed boy's shoulder.

"It hurts," Severus whispered miserably, holding his head. "Make it stop," he pleaded.

Remus pulled Severus halfway onto his lap. "I called for Poppy. She will be here soon, Severus. Try to breathe calmly with me, okay? Come on, breathe in...and out...in and out...."

Severus tried to do what Remus told him. He tried to listen to the werewolf's heartbeat, but it was way to quick to be soothing.

Remus was relieved when Poppy and Alastor stormed into the room. He thought Alastor would take over, but the old man just positioned himself behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder for support. Poppy sat down in front of them on the bed and spoke with Severus.

"Severus, what's wrong?" Poppy asked professionally.

"Pictures...in my head. It hurts!" Severus stuttered.

"I can't give you another painkiller so soon after the last one, Severus. Try to think about something nice. What about brewing potions?" Poppy tried to distract Severus from the pain in hopes that one of the Healers would come quickly.

"Can't," Severus said miserably and started to sob.

Poppy grabbed Severus' hands when he started to claw at his hair. "Shhh...Severus, you are hurting yourself."

As if he didn't know that. It was his only hope to make the pain vanish. He fought against Poppy's hands. The pain had numbed all his communication abilities, and so he did not react when James came into the room and asked him a question. Only when soothing magic flowed into his body did he stop struggling against Poppy.

Severus tried hard to stop sobbing, especially when he realized whose lap he was on, but his efforts were in vain.

Remus again hoped that he could hand Severus over to someone else, but neither Poppy nor Healer Smith made any kind of move to accept his offer. They just ignored him.

James knew the man upon whose lap Severus sat, and he would definitely not take Severus out of the man's arms even though it would be much easier to send Healing magic. It would be good for both wizards to go through this together. "Better, Severus?"

Severus nodded. "Thank you, Healer Smith. I'm sorry."

"First, it's still James, and second, there is nothing to be sorry about. This can happen from time to time, and it isn't something be ashamed of," James explained.

"Albus told us," Severus said tiredly. "I'm a mental freak."

"You are not," James said sternly and looked at Poppy.

"Albus told the boys that there are more side effects to the potion, and I had no other chance to talk to them about it further," Poppy said guiltily. She leaned backwards thankfully when her husband scooped her close.

"Severus, the side effects do not appear often, and if they show up, they can be temporary," James stated. He would have a serious talk with the headmaster.

"I remember why De-Aging Potions are forbidden. Some people go insane, and some never mentally age," Severus said, surprised that those memories made it back to the surface.

James sighed. Why did this memory sorting attack have to reveal just that memory? It would be lost again in a few hours, but the new memory Severus had made just now would not. "You will not go insane, Severus. You will have a normal life and will grow up like any other twelve-year-old boy. The potion is out of your system now."

"You don't know for sure," Severus protested miserably.

"I know it, Severus, and I wouldn't tell you something like this if I was not absolutely certain about it. You will not go insane. You might have trouble regaining you magic. It will be a fight, not just a natural getting back of your past skills. The damage caused by Voldemort's actions was worse than the potion's. The potion...I fear the potion will have made you more vulnerable to emotional stress, Severus. These headaches and memory flashes are normal and will stop soon. I promise you that."

Severus looked hopefully at the Healer. His head felt much better already, and he couldn't remember what had triggered this whole scenario. It must have shown on his face because James addressed him again.

"Already forgotten what caused this attack?" James asked softly and cupped Severus' cheek to look directly into his eyes.

"That's scary," Severus whispered.

"It's a safety function of your mind, Severus. It's okay," the Healer assured.

Poppy grabbed Severus' hand and started to stroke it, not only to calm Severus but herself as well.

"How was the conversation going before the attack happened?" James asked Remus.

"Not so good. Severus is very scared about school, and I fear he won't tell anyone if he gets into trouble with one of the students," Remus said.

"That we can just wait for and watch closely," James exclaimed. "What about your indifferences?"

Remus looked down at Severus who, even though he was fully aware now, did not make any move to leave his lap. His arm was still drawn around Severus' waist. "He was open in the end and didn't avoid looking at me. I think-"

"I'm right here!" Severus protested.

James chuckled. "That's right. Sorry, I forgot. So how is your relationship with Professor Lupin?"

"I don't have a relationship with him," Severus said and drew a face.

Another chuckle from the Healer. "Of course not. What I meant was can you trust him enough not to bully you again?"

Severus nodded shyly and looked down. Seeing Remus' hand on his side did not help the blush that spread across his cheeks.

"Then one of the fears you had is settled down, right?" James asked.

Again, the black haired boy nodded. "I'm tired. Can I sleep for a while?"

"Of course," James said and stroked Severus' hair.

Remus loosened his grip and sat up from the bed to give Poppy and Alastor more room to tuck Severus in.

Alastor pulled Severus to the head of the bed, and Poppy changed his clothes into pajamas. "We will wake you for lunch, Severus," Poppy said and kissed his forehead. Before all the adults could leave the room, Severus was asleep.

 ____________

Harry sat down on his bed and stared at his feet. One sock had gone back to its original size and the other was still charmed to fit his small feet now.

"Do you want me to change it back?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded shyly.

"It's normal. These charms aren't made to hold for hours," Hermione explained.

"I know, Alastor told me. We're going shopping for clothes this afternoon," Harry said while staring at his socks. "Ehm...should I have known about this spell? I mean, did we learn it?"

Hermione threw a worried look over to Ron and noticed too late that Harry had looked up.

"I should have known about it, right?" Harry asked dejectedly.

"You will learn it all again, Harry," Hermione said, trying to sound cheerfully. "Remus said that all your memories are still there, but you have to sort them out and have to concentrate hard to remember some of them."

"Yeah, just great," Harry replied, depressed.

"Cheer up mate; you really give us one shock after another. First, we hear that you try to kill yourself, and then we hear that you defeated Voldyshorts without us, and now you blow up a cauldron with Snape and get yourself de-aged. You really are a handful," Ron said.

"You are not helping," Hermione scolded Ron when she saw Harry's guilty expression.

"There is nothing to worry about, Harry. We are still friends, and all our classmates give you their best regards. They all wanted to check on you, but only Ron and I were allowed to come. They changed the Heads of House now, so it is clear that Professor Snape won't be coming back to be Head of House for Slytherin. Professor Flitwick has taken over Slytherin. I think they didn't want to overburden Charlie, so Professor McGonagall is helping him with the Ravenclaws now, and Remus took over Gryffindor. Isn't that good news? Remus spoke with us all yesterday about the changes and what happened to you and Professor Snape. What were you brewing when it happened?"

Harry opened his mouth to answer, but he could not remember. Shocked, he looked at Hermione.

"It's okay, Harry. It wasn't important." Inwardly, she scolded herself for asking.

"It is important. Damn, I forgot things that are important," Harry said. His hands started to shake.

"Ehm...shall I get Madam Pomfrey?" Ron asked insecurely.

"No, I'm fine," Harry said and pressed his hands against his knees. "You don't need to stay my friends. I know it's awkward and you don't want to be seen hanging around with a second year."

"Are you crazy, mate? You could be five and we would still stay friends. Four years is nothing," Ron said, determined.

Harry breathed deeply. Ron could never hide his true feelings, and hearing him say these things so determined could only mean he meant them. Harry could not stop himself from hugging his friend.

Ron looked at Hermione, and she gestured for him to respond to the hug by hugging back. Awkwardly, he did so and after a few second it even felt good. A little bit as if he finally had the little brother he had always wished for.

"It's so confusing. I don't feel like the old Harry. I was cool, right?" He did not wait for an answer. "I don't think I will be able to be the friend you once had."

"Then we will sort out what kind of friends we can be now, but we will stay friends. Nothing can tear us apart, Harry," Ron said and ruffled Harry's hair. His heart made a jump when he saw Hermione's proud smile.

 _______________

When he entered the room, they were playing Exploding Snap. "Hey, how are you doing?" Remus asked.

"We are fine. Do you want to join our game, Remus?" Hermione asked. She was still surprised that they were allowed to call the Remus by his given names even though he was their Professor.

"Good idea," Remus said and sat down on the carpet with the kids. Harry looked happy, and Remus was relieved that at least Harry was not worrying himself sick about the whole situation.

"Will you tell me what you talked about with Severus?" Harry asked carefully.

At first, Remus was puzzled as to how Harry could know about his talk with Severus, but then he realized that Harry was referring to the meeting. "All I can say is that Severus decided that he wants to be re-Sorted. He will meet the Sorting Hat for his second time tomorrow before breakfast." When Remus turned to Ron and Hermione, he asked, "Have you two already told Harry about the changes to the Heads of House?"

"Yes, they did," Harry said enthusiastically. "It's so cool that you are our Head of House now!"

Remus smiled down at Harry. "I'm glad you are so excited. Wait until I have you in my office for getting into some kind of mischief."

They all laughed and then played cards until it was time for lunch.

-II-

When he entered the room, they were playing Exploding Snap. "Hey, how are you doing?" Remus asked.

"We are fine. Do you want to join our game, Remus?" Hermione asked. She was still surprised that they were allowed to call the Remus by his given names even though he was their Professor.

"Good idea," Remus said and sat down on the carpet with the kids. Harry looked happy, and Remus was relieved that at least Harry was not worrying himself sick about the whole situation.

"Will you tell me what you talked about with Severus?" Harry asked carefully.

At first, Remus was puzzled as to how Harry could know about his talk with Severus, but then he realized that Harry was referring to the meeting. "All I can say is that Severus decided that he wants to be re-Sorted. He will meet the Sorting Hat for his second time tomorrow before breakfast." When Remus turned to Ron and Hermione, he asked, "Have you two already told Harry about the changes to the Heads of House?"

"Yes, they did," Harry said enthusiastically. "It's so cool that you are our Head of House now!"

Remus smiled down at Harry. "I'm glad you are so excited. Wait until I have you in my office for getting into some kind of mischief."

They all laughed and then played cards until it was time for lunch.

-II-

Lunch was horrible. Severus fought hard to get all the food down. Harry was already allowed to stand up and go for his nap, but Severus still had half of his meal on his plate. "I cannot eat anymore."

"Severus, your mind is tricking you. There is enough space in your stomach to eat this," Alastor said and took Severus' fork out of his hand. He scooped some vegetables onto it and moved it in the direction of Severus' mouth. He was relieved when Severus just glared but opened his mouth.

It was much easier to eat when Severus did not have to guide the fork to his mouth himself. Only Poppy and Alastor were in the room, so Severus decided to let the comfort win over shame. He let Alastor feed him.

"See, you are almost done. If you want, you can Floo to Charlie after lunch. Tonks wanted to visit him and hoped to see you as well. As you already had your nap, you can skip the midday nap."

Severus immediately felt better and smiled at Alastor.

Alastor tried to suppress a grin. Seeing Severus smile was just too good.

Ten minutes later, Alastor informed Charlie via Floo that Severus would come through in a few minutes.

"I better leave," Remus said, waving his good-bye to Charlie and kissing Tonks. "I will see you later."

"Hey, Sev," Tonks said, excited when the teen came through the Floo.

"Hi," Severus said uncertainly.

"Oh, my, don't tell me you're scared of me?" Tonks teased.

Severus glared at her. "Sometimes I hate you, Tonks."

"Cheer up, Sev, and come over to greet your old friend properly," she said joyfully and opened her arms.

"Why does everyone think I want to hug?" Severus was a bit annoyed that it was like this. He felt the urge to hug so many people lately.

"I'm not everyone. Come over here or I'll feel hurt," Tonks said and made a pout.

Severus rolled his eyes, and Charlie grinned, amused. Severus padded over to Tonks and let her hug him. When she started kiss his face, he tried to wriggle out of her grip. "Eww, stop, Tonks!"

"Oh, you are so cute, Sevipoo," Tonks said teasingly when she placed a very sloppy kiss on his cheek and let go of him.

Severus wiped his face with his sleeve. "I will never come close to you again."

"Oh, really?" Tonks said and grabbed him before he had time to jump away. Quickly, Severus was pulled onto her lap and she started to tickle him.

"Stop! Please!" Severus pleaded helplessly between giggles. "Charlie, help me!

"Let him breathe, Tonks," Charlie said even though he enjoyed the cheerful banter and the giggles immensely. It was as if a huge burden has been lifted off the friends. The last months had been horrible.

"But it's so much fun," Tonks squealed and ruffled Severus' hair before she let him go.

"Hey!" Severus protested and tried to flatten his hair.

"How much time do you have to stay, Sev?" Charlie asked.

"Around an hour or so. Alastor will call me when I have to go back," Severus replied. For the first time since the accident, he felt light-hearted. Being with his friends was great, and Severus wondered why it felt as if the age difference had always had been like this. He was only a little bit worried about what his friends thought about it, but he was already used to it. Maybe more memory sorting happened without me realizing it, Severus thought.

"Good, what would you like to do? Want to go outside?" Charlie asked.

That destroyed Severus' good mood, and he looked sullen again.

"We don't need to go outside, Sev. It was just a suggestion. We can stay here. What would you like to do? Just sit and talk? Play a game?" Charlie asked.

Severus shrugged. "Don't know."

"Why don't we train your hands a bit and draw? I need a new tattoo and have no clue what to get. We could all draw what comes to our minds," Tonks suggested. She had heard from Remus that Severus had loved to draw when he was young.

"I don't know if I can draw with them," Severus said and looked at his hands.

"Let's just try it, Sev. You can stop if it starts to hurt," Charlie offered and stood up to gather the utensils. "Want something to drink, you two?" Charlie asked when he came back.

"Yeah, I take a glass of cherry juice," Tonks said.

"I'm full," Severus said.

Charlie just looked at him, raising his eyebrow. "What? Are you my new guardians now?" Severus asked sullenly.

"No, but I know that you need to drink a lot of fluids, so what do you want to drink?" Charlie replied.

"Nothing," Severus tried again.

"What do you want to drink?" Charlie asked again as if he had not heard Severus.

Severus groaned. "Water."

Charlie sighed and called for a house-elf. "Which one is for Master Severus?" the house-elf asked. Severus glared at the creature.

"The water," Charlie answered, puzzled.

"Master Severus shall drink something with sugar," the house-elf stated.

"Says who?" Severus asked angrily.

"Mistress Pomfrey, Master Severus," the house-elf explained.

"But Master Severus wants water, and you have to do what Master Severus says," Severus said, trying to intimate the creature.

The house-elf was not swayed. "Mistress Pomfrey and Headmaster Dumbledore said to ignore Master Severus if he tries to change the order. What shall I bring Master Severus?"

"Nothing," Severus said grumpily.

Charlie groaned. "Bring him a glass of apple juice." At least Charlie remembered seeing Severus drink this once without grimacing. He knew for sure that he disliked pumpkin juice.

Severus still sulked when the glass was placed in front of him. "It will get bitter if you look at it like that," Tonks teased.

"Come on, give it a try and then we can start drawing," Charlie suggested.

Severus took a sip so that they would leave him alone. He was surprised at how good it tasted. His plan to drink as little as possible was useless when everyone pestered him to drink. While he was drawing, Severus did not even notice that he grabbed the glass every now and then and that it was refilling itself.

Tonks and Charlie exchanged glances while Severus was occupied with drawing, his tongue stuck between his teeth in concentration. The two adults were happy that Severus finally started to relax and accept his current situation. "Time to head home, Severus," Alastor said when he stepped out of the fireplace.

Severus jumped. He was so deep in concentration that he hadn't noticed the fireplace flare. "Hey, that looks great," Alastor praised Severus' dragon drawing.

"Yes, I think Tonks and I have to fight over who will get it as a tattoo," Charlie said cheerfully.

"Ha, you have no chance. Sev drew it for me!" Tonks said playfully.

Severus beamed. He was proud of his dragon, and it would be cool if Tonks decided to get it as a tattoo.

"Let's go, lad. Poppy and Harry are already waiting," Alastor said.

Severus jumped up and went over to Tonks to hug her. When she was close to his ear, she said teasingly, "What happened to not coming close to me again?" She laughed when Severus tried to wriggle out of her embrace and tightened it. "I was just joking, Sev. I like your hugs."

Severus relaxed again and then went over to Charlie. "I'll see you tomorrow in Potions, Sev," Charlie said and hugged the teen.

When Severus stepped out of the fireplace, he felt this urgent drive to go to the toilet again. Before Poppy could say something to him, he ran to the bathroom. He made it, but it was a very, very close call, and he swore to never drink anything at visits ever again.

"You all right, Severus?" Alastor asked through the door.

"Yes, I'm coming in a second," Severus replied.

Hearing the water run in the sink, Alastor waited if Severus really would come out. Shortly after Severus came out, Alastor transfigured some of his outdoor clothing to the right size.

///

"Briefs or boxers, boys?" Poppy asked.

Harry looked interested, but Severus blushed.

"Can I have one of both?" Harry asked uncertainly as if that was too much to ask.

"You will need at least ten, Harry. Choose the ones you like and place them in your box," Poppy instructed, and Harry already started to rummage through the offered underwear. "What about you Severus?"

Severus just looked at her. "Let me do this, Poppy. Just go on with Harry," Alastor said, amused.

Poppy looked puzzled. Sometimes she could not understand Severus. She had seen him naked several times while healing him, but he blushed when she asked what kind of underwear he wanted.

"So what do you like, Severus?" Alastor asked when Poppy had shuffled away with Harry.

"Don't know," Severus said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Look, there's a combination between briefs and boxers. How about that?" Alastor asked, showing some pants to Severus.

"They are okay," Severus said and threw a few of them in his box. Boxer shorts followed in several colors and also some with pictures on them. Severus really liked the black one with the red dragon.

"Fine, now some under shirts and socks," Alastor instructed and guided Severus in the right direction. A few minutes later, Harry came running over to them excitedly.

"Look, Severus!" Harry pushed a T-shirt into Severus' hands and held another one to his chest. On the one Harry held was printed little brother, and when Severus looked at his, there was a big brother printed on it. The shirts were black and the letters were red. "Please let us buy them!" Harry started to bounce excited. He was really starting to like this whole de-aging thing.

"As long as I get the big brother shirt," Severus said.

Alastor chuckled when Harry happily ran back to Poppy. "You are a very good big brother."

"Because I agree to wear a T-shirt?" Severus asked sarcastically.

"That's part of it," Alastor said and guided Severus over to Poppy again.

"Ten shirts and five sweatshirts, Severus. Then we just need the robes and the shoes," Poppy stated.

Severus was relieved when the shopping was over and they headed home. His hands hurt very much from the drawing and all the fitting in the shop, so he could hardly hold his knife at supper. He drank his nutrient potion with little protest and already felt full. He had never eaten as much as he had today. Now his hands hurt, and they shook when he tried to grip the knife.

"What's wrong, Severus?" Poppy asked.

"My hands hurt. I drew with Tonks and Charlie. Maybe it was too much."

"Let me see," Poppy said and went over to Severus.

Severus held out his hands and hoped Poppy could make them better.

After a short diagnostic spell, Poppy summoned a salve and applied it to Severus' hands. "That should help for supper, but you need to rest your hands, Severus. Alastor will prepare your bread."

Severus dreaded going to his room to sleep. It was dark and cold. Harry's room was bright and warm and cozy, but he could not overcome his pride to ask to sleep in Harry's room again or change his room. He was still lying awake sullenly when Alastor and Poppy came in to say good night.

"How are you, Severus?" Poppy asked while she and Alastor sat down on Severus' bed.

"Fine," Severus said shortly.

"You don't look it," Alastor stated. "Still worried about tomorrow?"

"Yes," Severus said. "And...." He sighed.

"What is it, my boy?" Alastor asked while Poppy stroked Severus's hair.

"It's so dark and cold," Severus said, staring at the ceiling.

"What is dark and cold, Severus?" Poppy asked, worried that he was speaking about how he felt inwardly.

"My room," Severus said sadly.

"You liked it like this as an adult, Severus. We can change it tomorrow. Do you want a bigger window and some warm colors on the walls?" Alastor asked.

Severus nodded and looked hopefully at Alastor. "Then we will change it tomorrow. How about you sleep in Harry's room again tonight?" Alastor offered. Severus' face lit up.

"I would say that was a 'yes,' Alastor," Poppy said, chuckling. It was so good to see the young Severus not hiding his emotions behind a mask.

-II-

"How are you, Severus?" Poppy asked while she and Alastor sat down on Severus' bed.

"Fine," Severus said shortly.

"You don't look it," Alastor stated. "Still worried about tomorrow?"

"Yes," Severus said. "And..." He sighed.

"What is it, my boy?" Alastor asked while Poppy stroked Severus's hair.

"It's so dark and cold," Severus said, staring at the ceiling.

"What is dark and cold, Severus?" Poppy asked, worried that he was speaking about how he felt inwardly.

"My room," Severus said sadly.

"You liked it like this as an adult, Severus. We can change it tomorrow. Do you want a bigger window and some warm colors on the walls?" Alastor asked.

Severus nodded and looked hopefully at Alastor. "Then we will change it tomorrow. How about you sleep in Harry's room again tonight?" Alastor offered. Severus' face lit up.

"I would say that was a 'yes,' Alastor," Poppy said, chuckling. It was so good to see the young Severus not hiding his emotions behind a mask.

-II-

Before Severus could slip through the bathroom door, a big hand closed it in front of his face. "This is the sixth time you are using the loo this morning, Severus. I think that's enough. Now come; we need to go down for breakfast."

"But I really need-"

"Severus, you are just nervous. Poppy is waiting with you potion in the kitchen. Come now," Alastor said and stirred his reluctant son into the direction of the kitchen.

"I don't know, I think I don't feel well. Maybe I should stay in bed," Severus whined while they entered the kitchen.

"You are just nervous, Severus. Everything will be fine," Poppy affirmed seriously. "Remember, I already cast the diagnostic spell this morning. Do you want me to cast it again?"

"No," Severus said grumpily. He took the hated vial Poppy gave him and opened it. Crinkling his nose at the smell, he pushed it away from his face.

"Oh, I lost my emergency watch," Poppy said, stressed.

"Calm down. We will find it. Go check the living room, and I'll check the bathroom and the bedroom. Don't forget you are a witch, Poppy," Alastor said, amused that his wife was as nervous as the boys were.

The moment the adults had left the room, Severus strode to the sink and poured the hated nutrient potion down the sink.

"Severus, are you crazy?" Harry asked, shocked, and looked from Severus to the door and back. "They will kill you if they find out."

"Then don't tell them. We need to stick together or our life here will be a living hell," Severus said to convince his brother to back him.

"You need that potion, Severus. I don't think it's a good idea to flush it down the sink. I mean, have you seen yourself in a mirror?"

"I have, if you have to know! I will eat a bit more for breakfast; that's all. I don't need this stupid potion. I would like to see you try to get that thick stuff down your throat," Severus exclaimed sullenly and placed the vial on the kitchen table.

"We are ready, boys. Come, we're already late," Alastor said when he stuck his head into the kitchen.

Groaning, both boys took their school bags and left the quarters with Alastor and Poppy. The way to the Great Hall was horrible. Harry had the feeling he had to make four steps when everyone else just made one, and he was exhausted halfway to the Great Hall.

Severus tried not to look up at all. He could feel the stares from the students on him, and he could hear whispers.

"Severus, you can't look at the ground the whole time you are around your schoolmates," Poppy scolded.

"Last year they were my students," Severus said sullenly.

"But now they aren't, Severus. You need to be a bit open and friendly to make new friends," Poppy urged.

"Sure," Severus said sarcastically.

"I'm serious, Severus," Poppy said sternly.

"I don't need friends," Severus stated angrily.

"Everyone needs friend, Severus," Alastor said.

"As if anyone would like to be friends with me," Severus mumbled.

"I want to be friends with you," Harry said and laid his hand on Severus shoulder.

"Yes, that's because you are insane," Severus stated dryly. "Ow," he protested when Alastor gave him a cuff on the back of his head.

"Watch your mouth, lad. Your brother is just trying to help," Alastor said.

The conversation ended because they finally reached the Great Hall. All the noise died down when they entered and only muffled comments could be heard. Severus wished the ground would open up and swallow him. His brother looked around, more interested and waved to Ron and Hermione when they passed them.

"Cheer up, Sev," Hagrid said and almost bruised Severus' shoulder when he patted it.

"How would you feel if you were being led to the gallows?" Severus asked and looked up for the first time since they had left the quarters. They stood in front of the teachers' table. McGonagall was fumbling with the old hat that would seal his fate in a few minutes. Why did I tell them I want to be re-Sorted? All of the Death Eaters' children are out of school at the moment and are only allowed back if they are deemed safe and if they want to come back. Oh Merlin, what if this hat wants to repay me for all the times I insulted it? What if it places me in Gryffindor? He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice that he now stood only with Albus and Minerva in front of the head table. Harry had sat down with his friends, and Poppy, Alastor, and Hagrid had sat down at the teachers' table.

When Severus finally noticed that all the people he felt safe with were gone, he paled. He stepped backwards and almost cracked his head on the teachers' table. Only Albus' quick reaction stopped him from falling. Severus clung to the arm that was holding him even after he stood steadily again. "Calm down, Severus," Albus said. "You will be okay."

Oh, great, Snape, just show them what a freak you are and how quick they can make you cry, Severus thought desperately and looked scared to the house tables. He awaited snickers from the students for his behavior, but there were none. Most of them looked puzzled, and some were even worried. Severus did not dare to look at the Gryffindor table. He would have looked at Harry to see at least one friendly and encouraging face, but he did not dare to look at the other Gryffindors.

"Come on, Severus. Let's Sort you, and then you can go and eat with your house," Minerva said encouragingly. A voice deep in his mind said that she was speaking to him like a small child, but he ignored it and took as much comfort out of her words and her touch on his shoulder as he could. He jerked when Dumbledore addressed the students.

"As your Heads of House have already explained to you, young Harry will remain in Gryffindor. Severus, on the other hand, has not been a student for a while and his life has changed a lot, so we all thought it would be best to let the Sorting Hat decide which house he belongs in now."

Please not Gryffindor, Severus thought and his mouth went very dry.

"I would also like to remind you all that it will not be easy for these two students to accept and live their new lives, and I hope that all of you will threat them kindly and help them whenever you can." Dumbledore threw a warning glance over to the table clad in red. Yes, the Gryffindors did not look very friendly, and Albus hoped Harry could make them see sense.

Severus hands started to shake, and Minerva threw a glance at Albus to hurry. The old man got the clue and announced, "So, Professor McGonagall, please start with the Sorting."

Severus' hands shook visibly, and he did not dare to look at the students any more. He pressed his hands between his knees. Then everything went black.

"Here you are again," the hat said.

I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean what I said about you. Please don't put me in Gryffindor, Severus said in his mind.

"Hmm," the Sorting Hat said thoughtfully. "But Gryffindor would match you very well. You are very brave and loyal."

Oh, please no. I said I'm sorry.

"So not Gryffindor?" the Hat said, ignoring Severus apologies completely.

Please, not Gryffindor. They will kill me.

"I don't think so. You should calm down, or you might black out soon. So where else could I send you? Your old house? No, sorry, but you don't fit there anymore, even though you are still quite cunning. What about Hufflepuff?"

Severus crinkled his nose. That's the loser house, but it is still better than Gryffindor.

"I think Helga will have a word with you soon for this thought. Everything I hear and say is heard and spoken by the Founders."

Severus' face fell. He had an assumption that the souls of the Four Founders were influencing the Hat. They also had paintings all over the castle, so there was no doubt that Helga Hufflepuff would find him.

The Hat chuckled, amused, but noticed gladly that the boy stopped shaking like a leaf. "So, I think I have found your house, Severus Snape."

Oh great, it's Hufflepuff for me, Severus thought miserably.

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat announced loudly.

Severus had to blink a few times against the brightness. How long have I been under? Then the cheers from Ravenclaw broke out, and Severus looked puzzled at Minerva.

"It seems your classmates are looking forward to having you in their house, Severus. I'm also very glad that I am your Head of House this time," Minerva stated, smiling friendly down at him.

Still puzzled as to why they were smiling and waving at him, he stumbled over to the Ravenclaw table. A brown-haired girl made room for him to sit down, and he racked his brain for her name.

"Sit down, Pro-ehm, Severus," the girl said. "Do you remember my name?"

Severus concentrated hard and then said shyly, "Miss Block."

"You won't call us by our family names, right? It's awkward," Miss Block protested.

Severus blushed. "I don't know your first name."

"I'm Alicia Marie, but Alicia is enough." She beamed at him and offered her hand.

"Ehm... Severus. My name, I mean..."

"I got it the first time, Severus." Alicia laughed. It was a friendly laugh.

"I'm Oliver. I was very good in your class last year!" a black colored boy, who said opposite of Severus, stated proudly.

"Oliver?" Severus said deep in thought and tried to remember the boy. A picture of an overeager boy with his tongue permanently stuck between his lips in concentration came into his mind. "Oliver Stone."

"Right," Oliver said, excited that his favorite teacher could remember him. Professor Weasley and Professor McGonagall had explained that Professor Snape had lost a lot of memories and would have trouble remembering certain things. They all knew from the newspaper and later from Professor Dumbledore that Professor Snape had been seriously injured by Voldemort and that he had lost almost all his magic. Professor McGonagall had explained to them yesterday that Severus might have a lot of trouble learning because his magic core was damaged by Voldemort but that it was also possible that he would manage to learn everything new now that he was younger.

"Err...Professor!" Anthony Goldstein called.

"I'm no longer a professor," Severus stated sadly and got some strange looks from his classmates. The young Severus really was different from the adult Professor Snape.

"Of course, sorry, Severus. I'm Anthony, your prefect. Professor McGonagall gave me your timetable. If you have any questions, you can come to me after you eat breakfast. I was asked to keep an eye on you for eating what your schedule calls." Anthony shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He definitely did not like that he was given that task.

"We can keep an eye on him, Anthony. You are drawing more attention than Severus would want by standing behind him like a vulture," a sixth-year girl, who sat across from Severus, said and smiled at Severus. She also had a prefect badge on her robe.

"Okay. So I see you later, Pro-Severus," Anthony said and left for his seat at the other end of the table.

"Relax, Severus," Amy, the sixth year, said.

"Yes, it is way too sunny today for such a gloomy face. You will provoke the Spenterlies to come out," Luna Lovegood said.

Snickers were to be heard all over the table. The Ravenclaws were used to comments like this, but Severus' shocked face was extraordinary.

"There is no such thing as Spenterlies, Severus. You don't have to worry," Alicia whispered in his ear.

"I know," Severus said, embarrassed. "I wasn't scared, just surprised at her comment."

"Of course," Alicia said, amused.

"It's the truth, I swear!"

More snickers. "She is just teasing you, Severus," Amy explained to get Severus out of the situation. She looked at her classmates. "Enough now. We need to eat or we won't be finished before classes starts."

Severus glared at Alicia, but the girl just snickered and was not impressed. "That glare was more frightening when you were a teacher."

Severus groaned. He looked at his plate and groaned even more. He threw a short glance at Poppy, who looked back at him to show that she was watching. Unhappily, he poked at the egg on his plate and glared at the two rolls.

"They won't catch fire, Severus. You should eat; that's the only way to make them disappear," Amy said friendly, but Severus heard the warning tone.

"If I had my magic back, I could Vanish them," Severus muttered but started eating anyway. He did not see the worried glances his housemates were exchanging. While he gnawed on his roll, he looked over his timetable.

Monday:

Potions with Hufflepuff

Transfiguration with Gryffindor

Care of Magical Creatures with Gryffindor

Magical Creatures? Since when do we teach that in second year? Severus wondered. It seems I have missed a lot in the last months.

Tuesday:

Charms with Gryffindor

Herbology with Slytherin

Care of Magical Creatures with Gryffindor

Care of Magical Creature twice? That once was an elective subject and now we are forced to have it two times a week, double class periods? All other regular classes were double classes, but not an elective subject-or rather, a former elective subject.

Wednesday:

Defense Against the Dark Arts with Slytherin

Transfiguration with Gryffindor

History of Magic with Hufflepuff

Thursday:

Potions with Hufflepuff

Astronomy with Gryffindor

Herbology with Slytherin

Friday:

Charms with Gryffindor

Defense Against the Dark Arts with Slytherin

Free period

Severus groaned. Was my schedule so packed the first time? At least I have a short Friday.

"Severus, we need to go in five minutes. You need to hurry," Alicia said worriedly while looking at Severus' plate. There was still one roll on it.

Severus threw a short glance at the head table and let the roll vanish under the table.

"I don't think so," Amy said, and another roll appeared on his plate. "Don't glare at me. I don't think you want to cause a scene. Professor Moody is glaring a hole in your back right now."

Severus carefully turned and realized that Amy was right. Sighing, he grabbed the roll and ate it without anything on it.

-II-

Severus groaned. Was my schedule so packed the first time? At least I have a short Friday.

"Severus, we need to go in five minutes. You need to hurry," Alicia said worriedly while looking at Severus' plate. There was still one roll on it.

Severus threw a short glance at the head table and let the roll vanish under the table.

"I don't think so," Amy said, and another roll appeared on his plate. "Don't glare at me. I don't think you want to cause a scene. Professor Moody is glaring a hole in your back right now."

Severus carefully turned and realized that Amy was right. Sighing, he grabbed the roll and ate it without anything on it.

-II-

It seemed that he was not in trouble for leaving the slice of cheese and half of his egg on his plate. At least he was not called back when he left the Great Hall with Alicia and Oliver. Severus tried to avoid getting too close to any Gryffindors, even though he would have liked to speak with Harry. His first class was Potions, and he wondered what Harry's would be.

"Do you know what Gryffindor has now?" Severus asked Alicia.

"I think History. They tease us about how they get to sleep in two times a week and we don't," Alicia said.

"Two times?"

"Yes, they have a free period on Thursday morning, but we have a short Friday," Alicia explained.

"Okay," Severus said absentmindedly. His thoughts were with Harry at the moment. He felt a bit alone and lost even though it seemed that a lot of Ravenclaws had decided to be his bodyguards. He could hardly see anything but black and blue uniforms. Severus still wore his formal robes without any house symbols. He would get the school robes later.

"If you want, you can team up with me," Oliver offered. "Professor Weasley has asked Alicia to help Marbella and Trizia. They are morons in Potions."

"Oliver," Alicia said, affronted.

"What? It's the truth!" Oliver protested. "As if Severus wouldn't know. He was our teacher in first year."

Severus felt uncomfortable each time they mentioned that he was once their Potions Master. It felt weird, and he had the feeling that Professor Snape and he were two different people.

"Maybe you should remember what Professor McGonagall told us," Alicia said warningly.

"What did she say?" Severus asked curiously.

"Nothing, Severus," Alicia said and pushed the door to the laboratory open.

Severus stopped in his tracks when he entered the room. The smell and the whole exterior overwhelmed him. A cozy feeling and a feeling of safety overcame him.

"Are you okay?" Alicia asked, worried.

Severus realized that he had closed his eyes as he remembered the smell and the feeling. When he opened them, he blushed because almost all eyes were on him. Hufflepuffs were looking curiously at him and the Ravenclaws looked worried. Blushing deeply, he looked down. "I'm fine."

Alicia threw a glance at Oliver. "Come on, Severus, my working place is over there," Oliver said and pulled Severus to the second row.

"Everyone here?" Charlie Weasley came in through his office door. He looked around and smiled when his glance fell on Severus, who rummaged his potion book out of his bag. "I'm very glad to have you in my house, Severus."

Severus blushed even more. He hated when he blushed. It was so visible against his pale skin, and he felt as if his head was burning. He tried to suppress it down, but it was useless.

"Let's start," Charlie said, grinning. He was very proud of his Ravens for accepting Severus so openly. "Today we will brew a Burning Salve. Madam Pomfrey has run out of it, and I hope that a few samples will be good enough for her to use. Please have a look at the instructions on the blackboard. If you have any questions, just ask me."

Severus was nervous. He hoped desperately that he had not forgotten anything about Potions, but just looking at the blackboard made him realize that he really had to read the instructions because otherwise he would not have been able to start preparing for the brewing. He was certain that he could have brewed this potion in his sleep without a list as an adult. The frown line on his forehead became even deeper than it had already been.

"Would you go and get the ingredients, Severus? I will prepare our worktable," Oliver asked, not knowing what was going on in Severus' head.

"Hmm." With that, Severus stomped into the Potions storage. He had to go twice because after checking the list again, he saw he had forgotten to gather two ingredients. Saying that he was pissed was an understatement. He was so angered with himself that Oliver had to address him twice before he looked at him.

"Ehm...I can shred the Boomslang skin. Would you slice the caterpillars?"

"Sure," Severus said and started his task.

Charlie was a bit worried when he saw how Severus sliced the caterpillars. He feared for Severus' fingers. While Severus and Harry brewed, Harry had done most of the preparations. Charlie reminded himself to speak with Oliver, so the boy would do the cutting in future. At least until the Healers have made some progress with Severus' hands. After an hour, Severus' hands started to shake, and he almost cut himself several times. Charlie waited a few minutes to see if Severus would seek Oliver's help, but when he did not and got more frustrated instead, Charlie knew he had to intervene. Sighing, he stood up and went over to Severus. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the looks some of the students threw at him. Most of them who were working close to Severus had already realized the problem. Oliver had not noticed because the cauldron was between them, and he was busy preparing ingredients. They were ahead of the others, and Oliver was full of vim to finally be in the best team now.

"Severus?" Charlie addressed Severus, who had not even noticed the teacher's approach.

Severus looked up, surprised, and immediately blushed again for being was a freak. He was not even good at Potions anymore. Oh, how he dreaded to even think about Transfigurations and Charms. He would make a total fool out of himself. He had not been good in those classes the first time around, and now with his magic core damaged, it would be a disaster.

"Rest a moment, Severus," Charlie said and took the knife out of Severus' shaking hands. "Drink something and rest. When you feel ready to go on, you can start measuring your ingredients. Oliver can handle cutting the rest of your bark." Charlie waved his wand and a glass of apple juice appeared. Another wave and it was kept sterile no matter what substance was on Severus' hands. Better safe than sorry, even though they were not using any toxic ingredients today.

Severus glared at the glass and crossed his arms over his chest.

Charlie leaned close to Severus' ear, so only Severus could hear him. "You can pout, Severus, but you won't leave my class without drinking this glass of apple juice."

"I have Transfigurations after this class," Severus protested.

"Then you should drink or I will give your classmates a note for Professor McGonagall saying that you are excused from classes for today."

Severus looked shocked at Charlie. He opened his mouth a few times, but nothing came out. That was so unfair. Charlie tapped the glass twice and looked at Severus warningly. Then he went to check the work of the other students.

"Come on, we are almost done cutting and shredding, and we are quite ahead. A short rest won't hurt." Oliver tried to calm Severus, but only earned a glare for it.

After two minutes of pouting, Severus grabbed the glass angrily and drained it halfway. He glared at it, daring it to refill itself but was satisfied when it did not. The sugar helped, and he felt better. His hands stopped shaking after five minutes, and he started measuring. When the bell announced the end of the class, Oliver and Severus were two of the few students who had brewed a perfect orange burning paste. At least that was a little success. Maybe I'm not useless in everything, Severus thought, relieved.

Transfigurations was a disaster like Severus had thought it would be. He shared a table with Harry and tried to ignore the Gryffindors around him. Their red uniforms made him feel sick, and their grins when he was not able to turn his needle into a button did not help his mood. Harry tried several times to speak with Severus, but his brother ignored him completely. When an hour was over, Severus shifted in his chair uncomfortably. That glass of apple juice. Why did Charlie have to force me to drink it? Severus thought, frustrated. He could feel Minerva's eyes on him, but he tried to ignore her.

"You will read chapter two now until I return. A word outside in the hall please, Mr. Snape," Minerva said sternly.

Severus groaned. He was not even certain that he would make it out of the class without, as the Healer called it, an "accident." He tried to hide his problem as much as possible and made it outside.

"Toilet. Now. Severus!" Was all Minerva said, and Severus ran as fast as he could. Fortunately, there was a boys' lavatory close to the Transfigurations classroom.

He came back with red cheeks, not looking at Minerva, who still stood at the door. I will be able to count the hours when I'm pale skinned on one hand after this day is over, Severus thought.

"Severus, I hope you will ask by yourself to be let out to go to the bathroom next time," Minerva reprimanded him.

Severus did not look up. He just waited for the tongue lashing to be over. It was not very awkward. Minerva had been his teacher when he was at school the first time, and he could still remember her from then. As an adult, he never could forget her as his teacher, and he always had great respect for her.

"Severus, look at me!"

Severus felt her bony hands lift his chin. The fingers were longer than Poppy's, but all in all they felt similar. He drew out all the comfort he could from this small gesture like a sponge.

"How do you feel?"

"Okay. Really, Professor," Severus stated.

Minerva sighed. "I hope so. If you feel tired, let me or any of your teachers know."

"Sure," Severus said, but it was very clear that he would not.

Minerva sighed and then entered the classroom with Severus close behind her.

/

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, puzzled, when they left the Transfigurations classroom.

"Don't you have a few of your housemates to annoy?" Severus asked angrily.

Harry was hurt. Why does Severus push him away? Would it be like this from now on? "They're stupid. They all just look at me as if I'm a superhero," Harry said sullenly and tried hard to keep pace with Severus. He looked backwards and saw several Ravenclaws follow them. It seemed that Severus had more luck with his house.

"You are a bloody superhero, Potter." Severus spat out Harry's family name with so much venom that Harry stopped in his tracks. He got curious glances from the Ravenclaw group that had followed them, and then they vanished behind a corner. Harry stood there, shocked.

"What? Did you think he would want to be seen with you, Harry?" Greg said evilly. "He is a Slytherin through and through. I bet he threatened the hat to sort him into Ravenclaw and not in Slytherin. Afraid of his own house."

"Yeah, he is such a jerk," Leroy added. "It's time we teach him a lesson." Both fifth year boys laughed evilly and bumped their bulgy shoulders.

"You will not," Harry said angrily.

"Why not, Harry? Look at how he treats you. As if you are a piece of scum. You are not worth being in his presence any longer. The Slytherin Prince doesn't want to be seen with a Gryffindor," Leroy stated.

It hurt. It hurt very much because that was exactly what Harry feared right now. "That's not true," Harry whispered, not very convincingly.

"Lie to yourself as much as you want, but we know what we saw." With that said, Leroy and Greg went for the Great Hall.

Harry pushed his small body behind the armor. He did not want to see anyone. He felt lost and alone. It was the first time he really hated the accident.

/

"The wand points in that direction. The pointing spell isn't lying!"

"But there is no pathway there, Hermione!"

"I can see that myself, Ronald!"

Harry groaned and a second later, a red head appeared behind the armor. His hiding place was discovered. "Will you come out, mate?"

"I would prefer to stay. It's quite comfortable," Harry lied.

A bushy-haired girl appeared beside the red-haired boy. "Come on, Harry. What happened?"

Harry closed his eyes and pressed them against his knees. "Severus happened."

Hermione and Ron looked at each other, puzzled. Hermione threw a glance into the hall at Dean and mouthed 'Madam Pomfrey' to him. Dean saluted and made a run to the Great Hall.

It was cold in the halls even though it was late summer. When Hermione crouched down close to Harry, she shivered. "It's freezing here, Harry. Do you want to catch a cold?"

"I don't care," Harry said miserably.

"Harry, tell us what happened," Hermione pushed her friend.

"He doesn't want anything to do with me." And there it came...the big emotional wave, and it knocked Harry over. He started sobbing.

Hermione was relieved when she heard hurried footsteps coming closer.

/

Severus sat in front of his plate. He could not believe how much was piled on it. Under no circumstances would he be able to eat that much.

A pop behind him made Severus jump. When he turned, he saw a house-elf staring at him. In its ugly hands was the dreaded nutrient potion. Shocked, Severus looked at the creature.

"Master Severus has to drink his potion!" the house-elf squeaked.

"I already had it in the morning. I'm not supposed to take it at lunch," Severus argued.

"Master Severus has to drink his potion!" the house-elf repeated.

"I already had it. How dumb are you?"

"Master Severus has to drink his potion!" the creature stated, not a bit fussed by Severus' reaction.

Severus looked up at the head table, and what he saw made his blood freeze. Poppy was glaring at him, and Alastor had his arms crossed over his chest. This gesture always meant trouble. They had found out that he had poured the potion in the sink. But how? Harry could not have told them because he had been in classes. So how could they know? He was pulled out of his thoughts when the creature repeated its order again.

Sighing, Severus grabbed the vial and drained the potion as quick as possible. Pulling a face, he shoved the empty vial back at the house-elf and drained his glass of milk, mentally noting that he needed to go to the loo before he headed out for Care of Magical Creatures.

Severus had sullenly eaten almost half of his meal when he heard mumbles all around. Looking at the head table, he saw Poppy and Alastor leaving the hall. Dean Thomas stood close to them and glared in his direction. A suspicious glance over to where Harry normally sat made it obvious that Harry had not come for lunch. Now Severus was really worried. What had he done. What had he said to Harry?

"Master Severus has to drink his potion!" the creature stated, not a bit fussed by Severus' reaction.

Severus looked up at the head table, and what he saw made his blood freeze. Poppy was glaring at him, and Alastor had his arms crossed over his chest. This gesture always meant trouble. They had found out that he had poured the potion in the sink. But how? Harry could not have told them because he had been in classes. So how could they know? He was pulled out of his thoughts when the creature repeated its order again.

Sighing, Severus grabbed the vial and drained the potion as quick as possible. Pulling a face, he shoved the empty vial back at the house-elf and drained his glass of milk, mentally noting that he needed to go to the loo before he headed out for Care of Magical Creatures.

Severus had sullenly eaten almost half of his meal when he heard mumbles all around. Looking at the head table, he saw Poppy and Alastor leaving the hall. Dean Thomas stood close to them and glared in his direction. A suspicious glance over to where Harry normally sat made it obvious that Harry had not come for lunch. Now Severus was really worried. What had he done. What had he said to Harry?

-II-

Harry could feel Hermione shift, and he was placed into another person's arms. Bigger arms that were pulling him out of his cold hiding place. He shivered from the cold and did not even feel the normal tickling from the diagnostic spell because his limbs were so numb. A blanket with a Warming Charm was draped around him, and then he was lifted by the big arms again. He knew they were carrying him home, and that was where he wanted to be right now. At least he was loved by someone there. If Severus was pushing him away, he wanted to at least have Poppy and Alastor close by.

Alastor was concerned. Harry had not reacted to anything they had asked him. He was sobbing and shivering even with the blanket around him. They had heard only what Hermione and Ron could tell them, and that was not much, just that it was something with Severus. Something about Severus leaving Harry alone and insulting him. Right now they could not waste time thinking about it. They needed Harry back in their quarters to warm him up and give him a Pepper-up Potion before he caught a cold. Everything else had to wait for later.

James came quickly after they had called for one of the Healers, and he spent the next two hours soothingly feeding healing and calming magic into Harry. From time to time, he tried to talk with Harry about what happened. Several times, Harry woke and fell asleep without answering James questions, but in the end, he opened up and told him about what Severus had done.

/

Severus became even more nervous when he realized that Harry was not amongst the Gryffindors that went to Hagrid's cabin. He had told his new classmates that he wanted to go speak with Harry by himself, and so he now was amongst Gryffindors without noticing it soon enough. When he finally did, it was too late, and he was pulled into a dark corner.

"Look who we have here," Leroy said evilly. "The little Potions Master, all alone. Yeah, who would want to be close to someone that slimy and evil?"

Severus fumbled, panicking for his wand, but a rough shove from Leroy's knee in his private region stopped him. "We don't want an accident to happen. I mean, your little performance in Transfiguration has made the round quite quickly and speaks volumes of your skills with a wand." With that, Leroy pulled Severus' wand out of his trouser and threw it into the bush nearby. "Oh, my, I forgot to go to the toilet. What a pity. Now I have to get rid of some pressure in my bladder. Can't afford to let you go, can I, Professor?"

Severus paled when he realized what the fat bully was saying. He was badly reminded of Potter and Black. He tried to struggle, but even if he had been a normal-sized teenager, he would not have stood a chance against this bull of a boy. So he could only stare in horror at the fat hand that was unzipping Leroy's trousers. "Ha, look at how he's waiting in anticipation at what I'm doing. Is our little professor gay?" Leroy mocked Severus. Greg was laughing at every stupid comment and insult Leroy made.

"Severus? Severus?" Several people were calling for him. It seemed the Ravenclaws had decided enough time had passed for Severus to speak with his brother.

"Damn," Leroy cursed, after Greg had told him that they were close. He shoved himself back in his trouser and punched Severus hard in his ribs. "Don't think we are finished with you, Professor. Now we are the ones making your life a living Hell and not the other way around."

Severus sank down the cold stone wall of the castle when Leroy finally let go of him. A last kick was aimed at his stomach, which hit Severus' hands as well. The boys laughed evilly at his groan of pain before vanishing in the opposite direction of the calls.

Severus did not want to be found, and therefore he stayed calm, praying that they would pass him. They did. The bush he had crawled behind was hiding him. His hands hurt. He did not know what was wrong with them. When he could finally breathe normally, he stood up. The pain in his ribs was strong, but he was used to pain, and so he merely grit his teeth. He inspected his hands. Besides the fact that they were red, he could not see any damage even though he could hardly move them. Hiding them in his pockets, he made his way to Hagrid's hut. He hoped they had not already headed into the forest.

They had not. They were splitting into groups-or rather, searching troops-when Hagrid finally spotted him. "Severus! Where have you been?"

Severus looked around. Damn, why didn't I think about a cover story before I came here? "Ehm...I needed to go to the loo."

Snorting came from the Gryffindors, but Hagrid ended it soon with a glare.

"Next time, tell someone that you will be late, Severus. We were already starting to search for you," Hagrid said, annoyed but relieved. "Now, let's start our lesson. Today I will show you Gurgle gnomes. I have located a colony a few yards into the forest. I hope they are still there. Let's go!" he waved his big hands, and the teenagers started to follow him.

"Are you all right?" Alicia asked, worried. Something looked odd about Severus.

"Sure," Severus said sullenly and hoped he could shove her away with his behavior.

"I don't believe you at all," Alicia hissed at him, so nobody could hear her. "You wanted to speak with Harry, but the Gryffindors say he was brought back to your quarters after we left him."

Severus just ignored her. What else could he do? After a while it worked, and she gave up trying to talk with him. After Hagrid had finished his class-or what he called a class, because they did not find anything interesting in the forest-Severus almost ran for the castle. Alicia and Oliver watched the retreating black dot heading to the castle. "Something happened. I know it!" Alicia stated.

"Yeah, I have the same feeling," Oliver said when they made their way back to the castle.

/

Severus went straight to the bathroom when he had entered the quarters. Cold water did a wonderful job on his hurting hands. The warmness in his pockets had made the pain worse, and now his hands did not only look red but were swollen as well. His ribs were not better, but he could not do anything about it. When Healer Meyers threatened to knock down the door, Severus sighed. How can I hide my hands from them? She wants to do those exercises today. I bet I will pass out if she even touches them.

"Severus, I'm come in now whether you like it or not!" Healer Meyers said, and Severus could feel the shift in the wards. Quickly, he put his hands back into his trouser pockets and realized too late that he had forgotten to dry them. The uncomfortable wetness soaked not only to the front of his trousers but ran down his legs as well.

"What's going on, Severus?" Healer Meyers asked, worried.

"Nothing," Severus spat. "I was just trying to use the bathroom."

Maria eyed him closely, and then her eyes fell on his wet trousers. "What happened with your pants?"

Severus looked down. He had no clue what he could say to make her go away.

"Why don't you show me your hands, Severus?"

And there it was. The feeling that thousands of ants were running around in his body. He was trapped. He tried to think faster, but his brain refused to work at all. Severus could not say anything. Petrified, he waited for the Damocles sword to hit him.

"Need help here?" James asked when he entered the bathroom.

"Yes, why don't you take Severus with you on the toilet seat, and I'll have a look at his hands?"

Severus wanted to run. Oh, how he wanted to run, but his legs did not move. Nothing moved, so James picked Severus up like a doll and sat down with him on his lap. The moment James wrapped his arm around Severus' torso, the boy winced in pain. Severus hoped the pain would fade, but the prodding hand roamed over his chest and ribs until it found the place where it hurt the most. Tickling magic flowed to the bruise, but the soothing magic Severus wished for was not there. Yes, it would be so good to let James' soothing magic overcome him. Maybe he would even black couldn't everything go numb? Why couldn't their voices start to sound muffled?Severus wished for it so hard.

But it did not happen. As his hands were pulled out of his pockets, and he could hear James telling Maria about what he had found. "Two broken ribs."

"What happened, Severus?" Maria asked, not letting go of his hands.

He did not want to talk to them, and so he just closed his eyes in hopes that numbness and deafness would come with the darkness, but Severus never got what he wanted, and the torture went on.

"Severus, please tell us. What happened?" James tried this time.

"Let me alone," Severus said miserably.

"We cannot help you if you don't tell us what happened," Maria said, very worried.

"I just want to die. Why did I come back here? I should have let him kill me. Nothing changed. Nothing!" He could not stop the sobs that wracked through his body and it made his ribs hurt even more.

"I will heal his ribs first. Then we can go on talking," James stated and shifted under Severus until he found the correct position. "This will hurt, Severus, but I promise I will numb the pain as soon as I have healed you ribs." He positioned his left hand over Severus' broken ribs, and he drew Severus' head back against his shoulder with his right hand.

Unbelievable pain shot through Severus' body. It started in his ribs as if a red-hot knife was plunged in his chest. Slowly, unbearably, it spread from the place where James' hand rested over his chest. As if hit by a shock wave, the pain exploded though his whole body from head to toe. As quickly as this shock wave had come, the soothing magic overtook his body. Severus felt great relief, but also lost all control. He sagged in James' arms. With dread, he realized that the liquid that ran down his legs into James' trousers was no longer cold water from his hands; it was warm liquid. The 'accident' James had spoken about had happened.

Severus whimpered miserably and tried to pull his legs together to hide the accident with his hands. The soothing magic made all his movements very exhausting and slow.

"Shh, Severus, it's okay," James said in his ear.

"No, it isn't," Severus replied, in despair. Suddenly he felt a fresh breeze and he was dry again.

"Everything is okay, Severus, relax," Maria said calmingly.

Slowly the soothing magic ebbed, and James released Severus' forehead.

"Please look at me, Severus," Maria prompted, but Severus just shook his head, his eyes still closed. He could not look at them.

Gentle hands started to stroke his hair. "Please, Severus."

"I just want to be left alone!" Severus said miserably. He still wanted to run and hide. Nobody could help him. Everything was like it was his first time at school and maybe even worse. Potter and Black would have never tried peeing on him. What else were those bullies capable of? What would they do to him next time? Severus would prefer to die than undergo that kind of humiliation again.

"Severus, please tell us what happened," Maria said while she let healing magic flow into the bruised hands.

No, he would not tell them what happened. That would mean they would finally see what a freak he really was, that he was such a weak baby that other students could push him around like this. No, he would not tell them. "I fell down the stairs."

Maria exchanged a glance with James. "Okay, Severus, I will finish healing your hands, and then we go to the living room and talk."

Five minutes later, his hands were numb like his ribs and he was wrapped in a warm blanket. He was not even asked if he was capable of going to the living room by himself; he was just lifted in James' arms. On the way, Severus hid his face in James' shoulder in shame. In the living room, he was placed with his back against James' chest on the couch; Maria arranged the blanket over his body.

Curiously, Severus opened his eyes. Alastor and Poppy looked shocked and worried at him while Maria explained what kind of bruises he had. Harry was draped in a blanket as well and was leaning against Alastor's body on the other couch. Maria sat down beside them.

"What happened, Severus?" Poppy asked, shocked, and knelt down in front of him.

James still let soothing magic flow into him, so lying was not so easy but still possible. The pained look on Poppy's face made Severus feel bad. No, he could not tell them. He wanted to be strong. Harry should be the one they should worry about, not him. He should be the responsible and independent one. He would not tell them. He could handle it himself.

"I'm fine; I just fell down the stairs," Severus lied.

"Severus, you don't get those injuries by falling down stairs," James stated calmly.

"But I did! I fell down! Why don't you stop asking me? That's how it happened, and it won't change no matter how often you repeat the question," Severus said angrily. Why couldn't they just let him be?

"It were Leroy and Greg, weren't they-?" Harry asked, shocked, but was stopped by Severus' harsh words.

"Stop it!" Severus said, with such a fire in his voice that Harry cringed backwards against Alastor's chest. Before someone could comment on this outburst, they could see the change in Severus' face. "I'm sorry!" he whispered, shocked at Harry's reaction. "I...I..."

Harry looked pained at Severus, but then he went over to his brother and lay down on the couch with him. He rested his head against Severus' chest, not bothered by James' hand that still fed Severus with soothing and healing magic. "Please, Severus, don't push me away again. You are everything I have here."

Yes, Severus had to go to school here. It would be cowardly to ask to be home schooled. He would be running away from them and leaving Harry alone at Hogwarts. He could not do this. He was the big brother. "I won't. I'm here." He laid his hand over Harry's head and gently stroked the unruly black hair. Strangely, it soothed Severus as well.

Harry looked up hopefully. "So was it Leroy and Greg?"

Severus' hand cramped shortly in Harry's hair, but then he remembered his plan and answered, "No, like I said, I fell down the stairs. I hit the banister with my hands, and then I fell down on the edge of a step with my ribs." Yes, that sounds plausible, Severus thought, satisfied. Unfortunately, he was the only one who thought so.

"I will stop them, I swear," Harry said, determined, into Severus' chest.

"Severus, when you finally decide to talk about the stairs, we will be here, okay?" James said, ignoring Alastor's and Poppy's shocked faces. Maria laid a calming hand on Alastor's arm when the man wanted to stand up and tell James what he thought about putting this topic aside. "Harry, why don't you tell us about your day?"

Harry looked up, puzzled. Wasn't it Severus who was more important right now? "What do you want me to tell you?"

"Just how your first day was. How you felt. Start from the moment you woke up," James instructed.

Harry thought about how to start. "When I woke up, Severus was already awake. I thought it was great to sleep in one room with him. I liked not being alone when I sleep," Harry said and gnawed at his bottom lip. He looked into James' face, but when he went on, he rested his head back on Severus' chest because it was so soothing. "Then we went to breakfast." He avoided the part in the kitchen deliberately. "I hoped Severus would be sorted into Gryffindor, but he was sorted into Ravenclaw. That means we have only four classes together. At least they are all double classes, and besides Astronomy we have them twice a week."

Severus almost drifted into sleep. Only the refreshing magic the Healer sent him whenever he became too tired stopped him from falling asleep. Harry's head felt so good against his chest. He felt safe with his little brother so close, and he had loved to sleep in one room with Harry. It was good to hear Harry's gentle breathing when he woke up several times during the night. Severus realized that he could fall asleep much easier to the sound of Harry's breathing.

"Then the first class started. It was so stupid. They all tried to sit beside me and fought over the seat. I have Melinda sitting beside me almost all the time, and she is awful. She stares at me all the time and asks all kind of stupid questions like what my favorite color is and what I like about girls. She is just stupid like the rest of my classmates. I don't want to have anything to do with them. At least Ron, Hermione, Dean-" Harry yawned tiredly, "-Neville, and all the other still want to be my friends." A hand was placed on his shoulder, and he felt an energy wave go through his body. It was not uncomfortable, but Harry was surprised. Puzzled, he looked up at James, who just smiled.

"So your first class wasn't that good. What happened next?" James asked.

"Oh, yeah. We had Transfiguration, and I was so glad to see Severus again, but he was..." Harry stopped, uncertain if he should go on, but he had told the story before to the Healer, and so it would be unfair not to go on now when Severus was present.

"A jerk," Severus ended Harry's sentence before he could.

"Yes, you were. You didn't even listen to me, just pushed me away and on our way to the Great Hall, you really-"

"Overstepped the border," Severus interrupted.

"Hey, I'm telling the story here!" Harry protested.

"But I'm one of the main characters, and so I should be allowed to add things."

"Add, but not interrupt, Severus," James explained. "You will be able to tell us about your day later."

Severus grumbled but kept his mouth close.

"So you...you were very mean. I felt as if you didn't want me to be your brother anymore. It hurt," Harry said miserably and hid in Severus' chest.

"I'm sorry," Severus said. "I always want you to be my brother. I shouldn't have said what I said."

"I forgive you, but you will never say things like that again, right? And you won't push me away again, right?"

Severus sighed. "I will try."

Harry glared at him.

"That's all I can say, Harry. I don't even understand myself lately. I don't know why I said all those things or why I pushed you away. That moment in the hall, I didn't even realize how much I hurt you. How can I promise to not hurt you like this again when maybe I can't even realize it?"

"Then I will tell you when you hurt me!" Harry said, determined.

"That's a very good idea, Harry," Maria stated from the opposite couch.

Harry beamed. He had a good idea that even the adults liked.

"Okay," Severus agreed and pulled a face at the smile on his brother's face. "You look like one of those awful smiley buttons Luna is wearing on her school bag."

Harry smiled even more after that comment.

"Will you go on with your report, Harry?" James prodded.

"Oh, yeah, ehm...when you left me in the hall, I hid behind an armor, and Hermione and Ron found me later. They tried to comfort me, but I was too sad. Then Alastor and Poppy came, and they brought me here. James warmed me up, and I slept and then we talked, and Maria joined us as well. Then you came in and ran directly into the bathroom." Bang! The depressing mood was back.

-II-

"Then I will tell you when you hurt me!" Harry said, determined.

"That's a very good idea, Harry," Maria stated from the opposite couch.

Harry beamed. He had a good idea that even the adults liked.

"Okay," Severus agreed and pulled a face at the smile on his brother's face. "You look like one of those awful smiley buttons Luna is wearing on her school bag."

Harry smiled even more after that comment.

"Will you go on with your report, Harry?" James prodded.

"Oh, yeah, ehm...when you left me in the hall, I hid behind an armor, and Hermione and Ron found me later. They tried to comfort me, but I was too sad. Then Alastor and Poppy came, and they brought me here. James warmed me up, and I slept and then we talked, and Maria joined us as well. Then you came in and ran directly into the bathroom." Bang! The depressing mood was back.

-II-

"Would you tell us about your day now, Severus?" James asked the relaxed boy in his arms.

"I woke up early like always, but Harry was still sleeping. So I just remained in bed until he woke up. Then Alastor and Poppy gave us all our school stuff and I started to get nervous. When I saw Harry in his Gryffindor uniform, I felt strange to just have my black one. I wondered if it was such a good idea to be re-Sorted." Severus sighed. He knew that he could not elide the little accident in the kitchen like Harry had. "When Harry and I were alone in the kitchen, I..." He looked for the right words and avoided looking at his guardians.

"What happened, Severus?" Maria asked gently when Severus remained silent for over a minute.

"I should have taken the potion, but I...I..." Again, he sighed. "I poured it in the sink." He stopped and tried to melt into the Healer's body behind him. Alastor would be very angry, and Severus knew how often Alastor had said he wished Albus would let the teachers use physical punishments on some students. Severus anticipated everything. He might be hauled out of the Healer's arms and thrown over Alastor's knees or pulled harshly by his ears into the next corner to stand there for the rest of the evening. He had not expected silence. No, that was a reaction he really had not thought about. After the moment of shock, he slowly opened his eyes a crack and glanced around. Poppy sat still close to his legs, her hand resting on his shin, and Alastor sat calmly with Maria on the other couch.

"Go on, Severus," Maria said gently.

"But that was it. I poured it in the sink and didn't drink it." Severus was puzzled. What else did they want to know? "Ehm...I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't. You are just sorry that we caught you," James said and chuckled. "We know now that we have to keep a closer eye on you. So go on. What happened after the kitchen?"

Now Severus was completely flabbergasted. That was it. No scolding or punishment. That was too good to be true, but he decided not to complain. "Okay, I...I went to the Great Hall with Harry and Alastor and Poppy. On my way there, I already knew that it would be terrible. All the students were staring at us and whispered about us. It was the same in the Great Hall. We even had to stand in front of them, and I was alone." Severus paused, again feeling the panic he had felt that moment. Harry's arms tightened their grip on him as if he knew what was going on in Severus' head.

"I thought the hat would never say which house it would put me in, and when he said Ravenclaw, I was surprised. And when they looked so...so...so kind, I was even more shocked."

"So it wasn't all bad?" James dug deeper.

"No...I think not. Alicia and Oliver were nice," Severus said shyly.

"They were all flanking you when you left the great Hall and Transfiguration," Harry stated.

"Hey, it's my story this time," Severus protested, but when Harry giggled into his chest, he could not suppress a grin. It felt so good to be home after a day like this. "The first class was Potions with Charlie. I really liked being in the classroom." He did not notice that he had not said 'my classroom,' but the adults did. "I had some trouble cutting the ingredients, and Charlie made me stop and drink a glass of apple juice," Severus said and pulled a face. "Is that the new wonder drug for all my problems? I get it quite often."

James chucked. "Not a wonder drug, but it helps. You need a lot of liquid, and the apple juice has some fructose, which helps you in many ways."

Severus groaned. He instantly remembered the incident in the bathroom. He was happy that he had been in the bathroom before Leroy and Greg caught him. Otherwise he would have wet his trousers himself. That would have amused the two even more. Severus did not realize that he had tensed and frowned until Harry tightened the hug and started to soothingly rub his side. Again, Severus' thoughts were with the bullies. They had teased him about being gay, even though he was looking in fear and disgust at what Leroy had done. Seeing Harry lying on him like that would give them ideas, but they were not here, and he enjoyed Harry's soothing gesture exactly for what it was: a friendly offer of comfort. He would never see Harry or any other guy as attractive.

"Just tell us what is going on in your head, Severus," James prodded gently.

That brought Severus back to the present, and he started to control himself again. "It's nothing. I...was in Potions, right?" It was a rhetorical question, so he went on, ignoring James' request completely. "I finished the potion with Oliver, and it was flawless. It seems I'm at least good in one subject."

"Severus, you were only at school for one day and had three subjects. You can hardly say how many you are good at yet," Poppy stated.

"I just know. I was bad in everything else the first time, and now I'm even more of a..." He stopped himself in time before he gave away what he really thought about himself. His slip in the bathroom was worse enough. Now they would keep an eye on him as if he was suicidal.

"A what, Severus?" James prodded, even though he knew that he would meet a wall again. Severus had himself under control too much. Nevertheless, he had to try to coax Severus into telling them who did this to him. It was a crime and not a stupid student prank they had expected. Something had to be done against the culprits. Who knew what they would do next?

"Nothing. So Potions was okay. Transfiguration was a disaster as I had guessed. I was frustrated that I could not transfigure the needle into..." Severus fought hard against the picture that was forming in his mind. Leroy breathing in his face and mocking him about his failure in Transfiguration. Eventually, he managed to push the image away. "I failed. So I let my anger out at Harry. I didn't mean what I said. I was just frustrated that he had managed it so easily and that nobody laughed about him, just me. I know that is childish, and-"

"You are a child, Severus," Maria reminded him. "It's okay to behave childish from time to time. It's just important to speak about it and learn from it. You already said that you are sorry, and Harry forgave you. Harry did not understand why you pushed him away when you did, and so he was very sad and felt alone. Think about what would have happened if you did not talk about it with him."

"I know," Severus said sadly. "I'm sorry."

"You did the right thing when you spoke openly with Harry. Just go on, Severus," James assured him.

"I...was sorry and worried when I saw Alastor and Poppy go out of the hall. I knew it was because of Harry," Severus said sorrowfully. "I finished eating and then I had Care of Magical Creatures, and then I came back here." Severus realized that he was breathing more quickly and gnawing nervously on his bottom lip, but he hoped the others would not see.

"The end of your report seems a bit rushed. Why don't you tell us more about the time from lunch to the moment you came back here?" James asked insistently.

Damn! What should he say now? "There isn't much to tell you. Hagrid wanted to show us some gnomes, but they ran away."

"So your day wasn't so bad, was it?" James asked, and Severus wondered why he was let off the hook so easily.

"It was okay," Severus said.

"There is only one problem with your report, Severus," James said, foreboding.

"Problem?" Severus asked nervously.

"There was no stairs in it," James stated.

Cold sweat broke out. Damn, why did he forget? "I...I forgot. It happened-" Close before I went to Hagrid's hut, Severus thought, but that would lead to more questions, like why didn't I tell Hagrid. "-on my way back here."

"Nobody saw you?" James dug deeper.

"No, why don't you leave me alone?" Severus tried to push out of James' grip, but Harry was heavy on his legs, and James was much stronger than he was.

"Severus, running away doesn't help. We told you that we'll keep an eye on you. We won't accept when someone bullies you. And what happened to you today was not only bullying, it was a crime. You are seriously hurt!" James said.

"Nothing happened. I fell down the stairs!" Severus said, frustrated. "Please stop."

"He will not go back," Alastor said strictly, losing his patience. "He should be home schooled."

"What? No! I will not run away from them!" Severus said angrily.

"From whom?" James prodded.

"No, stop. I'm okay. It was just the stairs. Please stop asking." The anger turned into despair, and he started to sob as he continually tried to wriggle out of James' grip.

"It's okay, Sev. I will stop. Calm down. We will let it rest for now," James said soothingly and hugged Severus tighter. Harry also tightened his hug, and Severus was almost crushed between the two. He still sobbed, but it lessened when James sent more calming magic to him.

"My decision stands!" Alastor said angrily as he stood and paced. "He will stay home until we find whoever had done this to him."

"No, please, Alastor!" Severus said between sobs. "I can manage it. I can stand it!"

Alastor stormed over to Severus, and the boy crouched back as much as he could against James. When he reached Severus, he grabbed his front, their faces only inches away. "I don't want you to manage it, and I definitely don't want you to stand criminal offsprings torturing you! You are my son, and I will not let them hurt you!" Alastor shouted, losing his composer completely. He had put it off as needless worries, and now his son was hurt like this and refused to tell him who it was.

"Alastor, please calm down. You are scaring them!" Poppy said worriedly and tried to pry Alastor away from Severus.

Severus was shocked. He had never thought Alastor would react like that. It was obvious that he was very angry. If he found Leroy and Greg, they would be very sorry. It would not be like it had been with Potter and Black. Alastor would not let Albus hold a hand over them. But that also meant Alastor and Albus would fight, and that would be very scary and then he, Severus, would be responsible for their friendship being broken. That must not happen.

Alastor did not let go of Severus even though Poppy now was pulling hard on his arm.

"Tell me their names!" Alastor shouted. Poppy could not make him move at all, and her shouting just went in one ear and out the other. James was occupied with Severus and could not use his magic on Alastor, and Maria did not seem to want to intervene. There was only one thing that made Alastor realize that he was going too far, and that was Harry shoving his head between Severus and Alastor and shouting at him to let go of Severus.

"Let him of go, Alastor! He is scared!" Harry shouted. When he saw the shocked face of his guardian, he added in a pleading voice, "Please!"

Alastor let go. Muttering that he was sorry and that it was his fault, he started to cry. Harry and Severus stared, shocked, at him. Harry had never seen him like this. Alastor never lost his composure like this. The only time he came close was when he had believed Harry was dead after the Horcrux extraction. Severus remembered that quite clearly. He is worried about me like he was for Harry, Severus realized, shocked. Severus wavered and shortly thought about telling them, but then again he felt that he had to do this alone, that he could survive this without them intervening. He was independent. He would do it alone.

"Harry, why don't you keep an eye on Severus for me?" James said and handed Severus over to the boy. Maria joined them on the couch.

When Alastor saw what James was doing, he freed himself out of Poppy's grip. "No. I should go." With that, he almost ran out of the quarters, but James followed him closely.

"It's my fault," Severus said miserably and threw himself at Maria. The friendly Healer just opened her arms wide and hugged Severus and Harry, who was hugging Severus from behind.

"It is not your fault, Severus. Alastor is worried because someone hurt you. If anyone is responsible for this, then it is the person that did this to you," Maria explained. "I think it is time for a Chocolate Frog for us all. What do you think, Poppy?" Maria asked the still-shocked Mediwitch, who slowly regained her composure. "You will find enough for all of us in my bag."

After they had eaten their frogs, Maria suggested that the boys go into Harry's room and redecorate. "You two indicated you would prefer to share a room, and I think it is a great idea. What do you say, Poppy?" Maria asked, glad that Poppy had calmed down.

"That's a wonderful idea. We can make a play and study room out of Severus' old room, and you can ask friends to stay overnight," Poppy suggested, smiling.

"Yeah!" Harry exclaimed, excited, and pulled Severus with him to his room-or rather, their room. "We should move your clothes and stuff in here, and we can put it in the cupboards later when they move the furniture in."

Severus liked to stay in Harry's room, but he was still very worried about Alastor and what would happen. It would be so embarrassing if he was forbidden to go back to school. Leroy and Greg would laugh about him. All the other students would think he was weak, and Harry would be alone and sad about it. He had made it very clear what he thought about his classmates.

"Are you not happy to share a room?" Harry asked, worried, when Severus did not share his excitement.

"Of course I am. I'm just worried about what will happen now. I'll hate it if I have to stay here and you have to go to school alone," Severus said sadly and sat down on his bed.

"Why don't you tell them who it was? It was Leroy and Greg, right? They said something about teaching you a lesson. I should have forgotten about my problems and warned you about it, but I thought you hated me, and-"

"Just don't ask, Harry. I'm the older one here. I can handle this alone."

"But I have older friends. Okay, older friends who are still students as you don't want to speak with the adults. I'm sure Ron will smash them. He is a very good Keeper, you know. He is strong and big and... that sounds weird."

"Absolutely," Severus said, but could not resist a grin.

"You grinned," Harry said happily.

"No, it was just a grimace of pain," Severus teased.

Harry laughed. "Let's plan where we want the bed and the other stuff. Then Alastor or Poppy will just have to move the furniture for us in the right places."

They spent the next fifteen minutes sitting on Harry's bed going through old photos, deciding which should be on their walls and cupboards, which books they wanted to place in the bookshelf...

Severus almost forgot about all the trouble, but it was back in full force when the door opened and his Head of House, Remus, and Albus came in. He groaned and crawled into the corner and drew his legs up. Harry sat close to him on the bed and pulled one of Severus' hands from his knees to hold it.

His head hidden behind his knees, Severus said, "I don't want to speak with you!"

-II-

"Just don't ask, Harry. I'm the older one here. I can handle this alone."

"But I have older friends. Okay, older friends who are still students as you don't want to speak with the adults. I'm sure Ron will smash them. He is a very good Keeper, you know. He is strong and big and... that sounds weird."

"Absolutely," Severus said, but could not resist a grin.

"You grinned," Harry said happily.

"No, it was just a grimace of pain," Severus teased.

Harry laughed. "Let's plan where we want the bed and the other stuff. Then Alastor or Poppy will just have to move the furniture for us in the right places."

They spent the next fifteen minutes sitting on Harry's bed going through old photos, deciding which should be on their walls and cupboards, which books they wanted to place in the bookshelf...

Severus almost forgot about all the trouble, but it was back in full force when the door opened and his Head of House, Remus, and Albus came in. He groaned and crawled into the corner and drew his legs up. Harry sat close to him on the bed and pulled one of Severus' hands from his knees to hold it.

His head hidden behind his knees, Severus said, "I don't want to speak with you!"

-II-

Minerva and Albus sat down on Severus' bed which still stood beside Harry's from the previous night. Charlie drew a chair close to the bed, and Remus sat down on the other end.

"Severus, we have all spoken with Alastor and James. We agree that you cannot attend classes before we know who attacked you," Albus started the conversation.

"It was just st-"

"No," Minerva's stern voice echoed through the room, and Severus hid even further behind his legs. "Severus, we have failed you once, and it won't happen again. The one who did this has to be expelled from this school."

Oh, how much Severus wished it would be like this, but it never was like this, and therefore he could not say anything. It would just cause battles between Albus, Minerva, and Alastor, and he did not want to be responsible for it. Harry squeezed his hand, obviously in the hope that Severus would feel encouraged to tell the truth, but Severus just shook his head.

"Don't you trust us, Severus?" Charlie asked.

"Not you as well," Severus said miserably.

"I'm your Head of House and your friend. Do you honestly expect me to look away? What will happen next? Will he break your neck?" Charlie asked angrily.

"Calm down, Charlie. Shouting won't get us anywhere," Albus said sadly.

The tone of the old man's voice made Severus' heart break. He is disappointed in me for not telling them, but I can't. "I'm not weak, I can manage this alone." He was not even aware that he had spoken the last part until Remus answered back.

"It's important to note that you don't need to manage this alone. Your injuries were serious, and this new life should be one without unnecessary pain. Severus, was it somebody from my house?" Remus asked.

Severus did not say anything, but he also did not shake his head.

"Severus, I will tell them," Harry whispered miserably, loud enough for all to hear.

"No, please!" Severus pleaded.

"But I'm scared. I don't want to lose you. Charlie is right, who knows what will happen next. I need you," Harry exclaimed pleadingly.

Oh great, that's exactly the sentence that brought me into this damn situation. Didn't he say that before I left for my last meeting with the Dark Lord? I wouldn't have come back and I would have been spared all this. Severus could not resist this pleading the first time, and he knew he could not resist it now.

"It was them, right?" Harry whispered again.

"Yes," Severus croaked. He had the feeling that with that small word, his whole world would break down over his head. He was letting others handle this problem for him. He was a coward.

"Who was it, Harry?" Albus asked gently as if he feared that speaking too loud Severus would tell Harry to not tell them.

"When I was in the hall and Severus ran away from me, Leroy and Greg stopped and said evil things about Severus. They also said they would teach him a lesson, but I never guessed..." Slowly Harry felt responsible for this. He should have warned Severus.

"Harry, this isn't your fault, nor is it Severus' fault," Remus said, sympathetic. "Leroy Malkons and Greg McConnor?"

"Yes," Harry said.

"Severus, are they the two who hurt you?" Albus asked.

"Yes. Now go and find a good excuse to rescue your lions," Severus spat bitterly.

It was not Severus words that hurt Albus the most, it was the uncertain look Harry gave him. The boy really thought it was possible he could do the same mistake again.

"Severus, please tell us exactly what they did," Minerva asked and sat down in front of Severus on the bed. She gently stroked his head and added, "Please."

"Why?" Severus asked, scared. He did not want to tell them what they had done. It was too embarrassing.

"Because we need to know what happened exactly to punish those boys," Minerva said softly, not taking her hand from his head.

"But they will find a way around Albus. I know it. I don't want you to know what happened," Severus said fearfully.

"So there's more to it than what they did to your hand and ribs?" Minerva asked carefully. She felt the men around her tense. "What happened, Severus? You are like a son to Albus. He would never betray you by being on their side. He has changed."

"But there were two people, and when they say it isn't true, then it will be one against two and they will win!" Severus looked up for the first time, and Minerva had to fight hard to keep her composure. His tearful face broke her heart.

"You can prove it with your memory, Severus." Seeing Minerva's furious look, Albus explained further. "I believe you, my boy, and I will expel them for hurting you. I just meant that in the case they deny it, you could offer a memory." Albus looked very hurt. It seemed that everyone was expecting him to make the same mistake again. He loved Severus, and never would he do something like this. His long years as headmaster had taught him that parents can be very insisting, so he also knew that they had to know the whole story to take charges against the two Gryffindors.

"Severus, we need to know what happened. Please tell us." Minerva cupped Severus' cheek with her hand. She did not want him to hide behind his knees again.

After a reassuring squeeze from Harry's hand, Severus started to explain how he had wanted to speak with Harry and therefore had left the castle without the Ravenclaws. "I was pulled into a dark corner behind a bush...and...Malkons pushed me against the wall. They insulted me about what happened in Transfigurations and told me that they know I'm a weakling and so. Malkons kicked me in my groin and then...then...." No, he could not tell them.

"Then what, Severus? You can tell us," Minerva said, reassuringly stroking her thumb over the tear that ran over Severus' cheek.

"He...he..." Severus started to breathe quickly, and Minerva feared he would hyperventilate. She was relieved when Albus finally got a grip on himself and gently pulled her away from Severus.

Albus quickly took Minerva's place and cupped Severus' face with both his hands. Deeply, he looked in the fearful black eyes. "It's okay, Severus. You can tell us. We are here for you. We will keep you safe."

Severus sobbed even harder. "They...He...Malkons opened his trouser and...and...he said he would pee on me."

Albus closed his eyes in despair, but Severus thought it was in shame.

"I'm sorry, Albus. I really tried to fight them. I'm not weak. I promise!"

"Merlin, Severus, you are twelve, and they are fifteen. You don't stand a chance against two of them, and that is normal. If I was a twelve-year-old, I would have had no chance as well. We are here to prevent things like this from happening, but nobody believed that something like this would happen. I'm sorry, Severus. I really am," Albus stated, determined.

Severus felt much better after this statement from Albus. So Albus was not ashamed about his weakness. Hopefully, he looked at the older wizard.

"What happened then, Severus?" Albus asked.

"The Ravenclaws called for me," Severus said. He did not see Charlie's chest swell proudly. His Ravens had proven to be very reliable and loyal friends. If it had been one of his Ravens who had done this to Severus, he would have been crestfallen.

"So he couldn't go on and became angry about it. He stuffed...he...he put it back, and then he hit me in the ribs. I fell down, and then he kicked me again in the ribs, but I had my hand in front of my chest. That was it. It's not that bad," Severus ended sadly.

"It was way too much, my boy. They will pay," Albus said, determined, and kissed Severus forehead. "Thank you for trusting us." He stood up and addressed Remus. "Bring them to my office, Remus. Minerva," he turned around. "I need you there as my deputy as well." There was a powerful aura around the headmaster. Almost like he was in the battle, Harry remembered.

"Of course," Remus said and stood up. Before he turned to leave, he leaned down to Harry and kissed him on his forehead. "I'm proud of you, Harry. You are a good brother to Severus. He really needs someone like you at his side." Remus looked sadly at Severus. He wished he could hug him, but he knew Severus would not want it. So he just laid a comforting hand on Severus' head and said, "I'm ashamed of my house, Severus. It was very brave of you to tell us. You are not weak."

If he was not so emotional at the moment, Severus would have laughed at this gesture. Like a king praising his followers for bravery by knighting him. At the moment, he could only take comfort out of this gesture. It felt good that Remus did not mock him about what happened and even said he was brave, something he did not feel at the moment, even though Albus and Remus both assured him that he was not weak. "This won't happen again," Remus assured one last time and then stepped aside for Minerva.

"I will come by later again. Try to calm down and relax a bit. We will take care of them." She leaned down and kissed him again on his forehead and was surprised when slim arms slipped around her neck. They never had a real friendship. It was always more of a mentor and student relationship between them. Severus was polite to her, and she occasionally showed some motherly tendencies. Having him seek comfort from her so openly surprised her. Nevertheless, she willingly gave it to him. She sat down again on the bed and drew him into a tighter hug. The sobbing became worse for a minute or so, but then it ebbed. Minerva was glad that Albus realized that now was not the time to rush. She gave Severus as much time as he needed to calm down, and then she slowly drew out of his embrace.

"I'm sorry!" Severus mumbled, ashamedly wiping his eyes.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, Severus. I'm always here for a hug. I enjoy it a lot. An old lady like me doesn't get many," Minerva said, smiling.

Severus could not stop himself from grinning.

"Ah, that's what I really love about this young Severus," she said and ran a hand over his head again. "His smiles are just lovely."

"I did not smile," Severus protested. It felt good that the heavy feeling was gone from his chest, even though he did not know why it was gone after his hug with Minerva.

"Of course not!" Minerva said, grinning and kissed him one last time on his forehead. When she tuned, she saw that Harry had found his way in Remus' arms while she was occupied with Severus. She ruffled his hair and leaned down to him when he had let go of Remus. "I'm also very proud of you. Sometimes even big brothers need some help." With a squeeze of Charlie's shoulder, she left the room with Remus and Albus.

"So, what do you two want to do?" Charlie asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"We were deciding what we should add on the walls," Harry explained. He also wished to forget this incident and make something fun. "But maybe we could play Gobstones?"

"What do you think, Sev?" Charlie asked, inwardly praying that Severus would want to play.

Severus shrugged his shoulders and went over to them. "Can you?" Severus asked and pointed at his face.

"Wouldn't it be better to use the bathroom, Sev?" Charlie offered. He hated Cleaning Spells as a kid. His mother was really fond of them.

Severus shook his head, and when Charlie still looked questioningly at him, he said, "Alastor."

"You can't hide from him, Severus. He is your guardian," Charlie said, reproaching, but nevertheless waved his wand to clean Severus' face.

"Thanks," Severus said. "Who will start?" He hoped that he could forget his fear about what would happen after Albus had spoken with the two Gryffindors.

"You and Harry," Charlie said while Harry pulled out the Gobstones set Remus had bought him last year.

They had played ten rounds when the door opened and Alastor walked in. "Hey boys," he said insecurely. It was odd to see him like this, but it just showed that he was only human.

"Hey, will you play with us?" Harry asked to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Certainly. Let me just catch Poppy. I'm certain she wants to play. Or is this a strictly men round?"

Harry laughed. "No."

Severus was always surprised at how mood-lifting Harry's laughing was.

They played for over an hour, and Charlie said good bye after half of the time. First, the atmosphere was tense, but little by little the mood changed. A friendly hair ruffle from Alastor and a peck on the cheek from Poppy, and soon they were all laughing. The game ended in a big tickling battle that Severus and Harry lost. When they went to eat supper, Severus was happy. He could breathe freely even though his ribs were still numb, which had not helped in the tickling game because Alastor knew too well that Severus' feet were even more ticklish than his sides.

"Will the pain come back at night?" Severus asked Poppy while he helped to set the table. He liked that every meal beside lunch in these quarters was prepared by themselves and not the house-elves.

"No, James and Maria left a potion for you for tonight and for tomorrow morning as well," Poppy explained.

"Okay," Severus said, happy that he would not have to roll from one side to the other because of pain.

"After supper we have to finish your room. Severus, we can decorate your old room later. You two can choose what you want to have in the room. There just has to be room for a bed for guests and two desks for your homework," Alastor explained.

"Do you want a bed like mine, Severus?" Harry asked.

"No, I don't want a Quidditch bed," Severus said and pulled a face.

Harry giggled.

"What?" Severus asked, annoyed.

"I just imagined you sleeping in a cauldron bed with your feet hanging over the rim." More giggles escaped Harry while he described it.

"Very funny, Harry," Severus said sarcastically and then glared at his guardians, who also found Harry's description funny.

This time, Severus did not complain about his potion and ate all his supper.

They had almost completely decorated Harry's room and Severus' as well when Minerva and Albus came back. "Let's sit down," Albus said grievingly.

Severus' heart sank at the headmaster's voice. "I knew it," he mumbled. Poppy was at his side immediately and drew him against her.

Albus sighed. "Mr. Malkons has been expelled from Hogwarts. He has already packed his things and his parents have picked him up." Albus paused, knowing that now came the hardest part.

Minerva knew how hard it was for Albus to deliver the news, and so she laid a calming hand on his leg. "I can do it."

"No," Albus said, determined, and laid his hand over hers. "Severus, both boys did not deny everything after we cornered them with the fact that you would provide a memory if necessary. As Mr. McConnor had not harmed you personally, his parents insisted that he stay at Hogwarts. They agreed to a Monitoring Charm and regular sessions with a therapist for reflecting on his crime. That means he will still go to school here, but you are safe. In the event that he tries to harm you physically, an alarm will go off in my office, here in the quarters, and on the wand of the closest teacher. It will inform us were you are, so we will be there very quickly. I know it is hardly a comfort for you, but my hands were bound in his case."

Severus was sad and scared. One of them could still try to convince others to bully him and could mock him that he had not defended himself when they had attacked him. If McConnor told someone else to beat him, the Monitoring Charm would not help him at all.

"Severus, I was there when Remus spoke with the Gryffindors. Most of them were very shocked and some even insulted Mr. Malkons when he left the common room with his trunk. I think Mr. McConnor will hear some harsh words from his housemates as well. It was very hard for Remus and me to calm Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger. They are very worried. I think there are a lot of Gryffindors who will have an eye on Mr. McConnor from now on," Minerva said to quell Severus' fears.

"All Heads of House have informed their students about the incident." Albus lifted his hand to stop Severus from interrupting him. "Not in detail, Severus. They are just informed that Mr. Malkons and Mr. McConnor have attacked you seriously and that Mr. Malkons has been expelled for it. Your house was in high fury. If it would be okay with you, they would be very happy to see you in the common room before curfew. Minerva could accompany you."

"Severus, I could hardly calm Miss Block. She was crying all the time because she felt responsible for the whole incident. Mr. Stone was very shocked as well. Charlie and I had to take points from Ravenclaw because some older students threatened to strangle Mr. Malkons and Mr. McConnor," Minerva reported.

"Great, now I have a bunch of bodyguards," Severus said, annoyed, but inwardly it felt good to hear that so many people were on his side. That was definitely a change from his first school time. The Slytherins never stood up for him against Potter and Black.

"That can't be a disadvantage, Severus, and I think it just shows that you are already very popular in your house. So what do you think, will you join me for a short visit to your common room?" Minerva asked hopefully.

"Okay," Severus said and nodded, but he could not stop from gnawing on his bottom lip nervously.

"Let's go," Minerva said cheerfully and laid her arm over Severus' shoulders.

-II-

"Severus, I could hardly calm Miss Block. She was crying all the time because she felt responsible for the whole incident. Mr. Stone was very shocked as well. Charlie and I had to take points from Ravenclaw because some older students threatened to strangle Mr. Malkons and Mr. McConnor," Minerva reported.

"Great, now I have a bunch of bodyguards," Severus said, annoyed, but inwardly it felt good to hear that so many people were on his side. That was definitely a change from his first school time. The Slytherins never stood up for him against Potter and Black.

"That can't be a disadvantage, Severus, and I think it just shows that you are already very popular in your house. So what do you think, will you join me for a short visit to your common room?" Minerva asked hopefully.

"Okay," Severus said and nodded, but he could not stop from gnawing on his bottom lip nervously.

"Let's go," Minerva said cheerfully and laid her arm over Severus' shoulders.

-II-

"Severus!" Alicia screamed, running in his direction when he entered the Ravenclaw Common Room. She stopped abruptly in front of him, obviously remembering that he was once her professor and that hugging him would be a little awkward. So she stood nervously in front of him not knowing what to do.

The rest of the Ravenclaws rounded Severus and Minerva and asked questions all at once. Minerva held her hand up. "Let him breathe and sit down, please!"

Severus went straight to a sofa, and Alicia sat down on the arm of it. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Suddenly, the whole room was silent. Everyone wanted to know the answer. Severus blushed. "It wasn't so important."

"Not important?" Amy asked, shocked. "Severus, they broke two of your ribs and bruised your hands!"

Severus looked over to Minerva with wide eyes. "Why do they know? You said they didn't know the details."

Minerva looked at Amy and raised her eyebrow.

"Malcolm Barth and Gregor Karlay and some other Slytherins cornered Malkons and his parents before they could leave the grounds with their carriage-"

"They did what?" Minerva asked, shocked.

"Ehm... yes, Slytherin lost a hundred points for it. So we are not alone in losing points today," Amy said, smirking. Several hands clapped and cheers of 'At least they showed some loyalty' and 'they're not so bad' and 'we really have to thank them' made the round until Minerva glared them into silence. "Yes, ehm...what I wanted to say...they cornered Malkons and attacked him...with words. Okay, they threatened to find him when he's alone and show him what happens when someone attacks one of them. His parents didn't even help him. I think they are ashamed to have a son like that. So Malkons became angry and said that he was proud that he broke two of Severus' ribs and his hands, and he wished he would have been able to...." She blushed and stopped speaking.

"I want to go," Severus said panicky. His face burned from shame, and he could not stand that they all knew what Malkons wanted to do with him. Before Minerva could intervene, Frederick London addressed Severus.

Frederick was a seventh year, and he had laid his arm over Amy's shoulder because they were a couple for two years. "They should be ashamed, Severus, not you. You had no chance against them. That's why we tried not to let you out of sight. We reckoned that you would be attacked one day, but we assumed it would be by Slytherins. So we guessed wrong. We know that you have no chance against one of the elder student. The papers mentioned that your magical core was damaged. And look at you; you're skin and bones. Ouch!" Frederick shouted when he got an elbow in the ribs from Amy. "What? It's true. Severus, you need us to look out for you, and we'd love to do it. It's like payback for all what you did in the battle."

"I did nothing in the battle," Severus said bitterly, but sat down again.

"What?" Frederick exclaimed, and many other Ravenclaws started to mumble, shocked. "You were a spy, Severus. You brought valuable information, and look at the price you paid!" Frederick gestured at him. "He almost destroyed you!"

"He's right, Severus. We Ravenclaws decided it was best to ignore that you were once an adult, but we will not forget what you did for us and the whole Wizarding World. Ravenclaw always had the least problems with you as a Potions Master. Besides Slytherin, of course. We learned a lot from you, and we will not forget how many of us you have helped. We know that many things you said and did were out of show for keeping your role as a spy. The papers were full of it," Amy stated.

"Let us older ones look out for you, and tell us when you have problems," Frederick instructed.

"Yes, we like to look out for you," said Constantine, another seventh year, and many others nodded in agreement.

Severus still was blushing, and when Alicia took his hand, he blushed even more but did not dare to pull his hand out of hers. He did not want to hurt her, but he could not say why.

"We will not let you out of sight again, and I think there will be many eyes on McConnor from every house," Oliver, who stood close to him, said. Starting to giggle, he added, "Professor Sprout told him that he has to plant Mandrakes without earplugs. But then Professor Dumbledore intervened and said that torture could not be used as punishment, so she said that he had to put manure under the soil in greenhouse two with his bare hands." Oliver grinned. "Professor Dumbledore didn't have anything against that."

"The Slytherins were willing to lose hundreds of points for telling Malkons what they think about him, and only Professor Flitwick's Silencing Spell made them stop," Frederick reported. "You see, there are many people on your side, Severus, and none of them is looking down on you for what happened. Maybe the houses will even become closer because of you. I mean, since when have Slytherin and Ravenclaw had the same opinion about something?"

It felt good to hear that some of his Slytherins were still on his side and had even fought for him so openly. Barth and Kalay were seventh years-very reliable seventh years, but also very sensible-and so it surprised Severus that they had been so emotional and aggressive. It seemed many things had changed.

"I think that's enough for today. You all have seen that Severus is fine, and now you can get yourselves ready for the night," Minerva said.

"So, you'll come to classes tomorrow?" Alicia asked hopefully.

"I think so," Severus said shyly and stood up. He realized that he still was holding her hand and let it go.

"So next time you won't try to handle everything on your own and wander around alone?" Frederick asked.

"I don't want to be watched all the time. I'm not a baby," Severus protested.

"This has nothing to do with being a baby. At least for a few weeks let us keep a close eye, Severus. When you have your magic back and have gained some more weight, we will leave you be in peace. What do you say?" Amy offered.

Severus groaned. "I still don't like it, but I fear I have to accept it."

"We will try to be as discrete as possible," Frederick said cheerfully.

"Oh really, Severus, next time don't run around and look for the Spenterlies just because I told you about them at breakfast. Ask me next time to join you, I know where they are," said Luna dreamily.

Frederick and the other boys grinned. The lower grades snickered and the first and second years laughed. In the end, the whole common room laughed, including Severus. Only Minerva had enough control to not join them, even though Luna had joined as well.

/

The night was calm, and Severus and Harry enjoyed sleeping in their shared room.

When Severus stepped out of the quarters the next day, he almost collided with Ron, who flanked the hall with Hermione. In close distance stood two Slytherin seventh years, Fredrick, and Amy. Severus groaned and mumbled to Harry. "Only the Hufflepuff escort is missing."

"No, there they come," Harry teased and pointed at two boys in yellow uniforms who came running into the hall. They stopped when they saw Alastor and Poppy.

"Oh, how nice, Alastor; a young, good-looking man has come to escort me to the Great Hall," Poppy said teasingly and linked her arm with the shocked-looking Ron.

Alastor chuckled and laid a hand in Severus' neck for support. "Yes, very nice indeed!"

Severus grinned at the expression on Ron's face when Poppy steered him in the direction of the Great Hall. Harry was reminded of Ron's face when Professor McGonagall had asked him to dance with her for the dance lesson before the Yule Ball two years ago.

The Slytherins moved in Severus' direction before the small group started down the stairs. "Ehm...Professor?"

Alastor looked at them, but they were looking at Severus. "I guess you want to speak with Severus and not a professor?"

"Ehm...yes, with Pro...Severus," one of the Slytherin said. It was Karlay.

"What is it?" Severus asked nervously.

"The Syltherin house asked if you would come for a...a talk this afternoon. We would like to spend time with you...I mean, if you still want to...I mean, you were a Slytherin and so..."

"Not without one of us!" Frederick pushed himself between Severus and Karlay.

"You're a Ravenclaw!" Barth said and stood with his chest puffed out beside Karlay.

"So is Severus!" Frederick said, not a bit intimated by the behavior of the Slytherins.

Severus rolled his eyes. "What happened to 'maybe the houses will become closer'?"

"That was Amy's saying, not mine," Frederick stated without looking around. "He will not go into your dungeons without one of us."

"It was the Gryffindorks who attacked him, not a Slytherin, so you should position your body guards in front of their Common Room, not ours!" Karlay stated angrily.

"Hey, it was only two Gryffindors, not all of us!" Ron protested loudly and wanted to go over to them, but Poppy did not let go of him.

"Who cares? Severus will not go into any other common room besides Ravenclaw's without one of us beside him," Frederick stated, agitated.

"Hey, I'm standing right here, you know," Severus said.

"Let me handle this!" was all Severus heard as a reply.

Severus groaned and rolled his eyes again. He threw one glance in the direction of the Hufflepuffs and Amy, who stood a few feet away, eying the scene with interest. Finally, he turned and just went for the stairs.

"Hey," the Slytherins shouted and ran after him, Frederick close on their heels.

"I want to talk with them, Frederick! You can't tell me with whom I can talk and with whom I cannot!" Severus said angrily.

"Hey calm down, we're just trying to keep an eye on you," Frederick said, hurt.

"But I don't want to be controlled," Severus argued.

"We don't want you to get hurt again," Frederick exclaimed.

"We also don't want this, stupid Raven-" Karlay began angrily.

"Watch you mouths, boys," Alastor stated sternly, and immediately all three hunched their shoulders and looked fearfully.

Severus had to smirk at their behavior. His guardian was a very powerful and feared wizard and teacher.

"Fine, then. Send one of yours with him, London," Karlay stated.

"Good," Frederick said, satisfied.

"Great that you came to an agreement over my head," Severus said sarcastically.

"Cheer up, Severus," Frederick said and ruffled his hair. "We are just watching out for you!"

"If I could, I would hex your hand off for this," Severus said, frustrated.

"Good for me that you can't, and when you remember how to do so, I will have left the school. At least a spell like that is a fifth-year topic," Frederick said teasingly and headed a few steps ahead to throw his arm over Amy's shoulder again.

Karlay cleared his throat. "Ehm...none of us would hurt you, you know?"

Severus shrugged with his shoulders.

"Malfoy sent us a letter. He sends his regards, and he is trying to come back as soon as Dumbledore lets him," Karlay explained.

"Professor Dumbledore, Mr. Karlay. Five points from Slytherin for disrespect!" Alastor said sternly. "And five points from Ravenclaw for snogging in the hallway, Mr. London."

Severus grinned again, not caring that his own house had lost points.

Frederick and Amy immediately jumped apart, blushing.

Karlay groaned. "How can you stand him the whole day?" he whispered in Severus' ear.

"He cannot take points from me in private," Severus said, grinning.

"Even though it's a wonderful idea," Alastor said roughly behind him. "And I have very good ears, Mr. Karlay."

"How is Draco?" Severus tried to distract.

"Okay. He says his foster parents are cool, but his home teachers are awful. There are tests those who have been temporarily suspended have to take so they can come back. He has spoken with Professor McGonagall and she promised him that she would arrange for this test to be held soon. Until then, he has given us the task of keeping an eye on you," Karlay said proudly and pushed his chest out.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Why does everyone think I can be pushed around and that decisions can be made about me over my head?"

"Because you are a skinny-"

Severus had his wand out in a second and held it in Karlay's direction. "I'm not!"

"Severus, wand away! Five points for threatening a fellow student with you wand!" Alastor stated sternly.

"They were bossing me around!" Severus protested, but put his wand away.

"That's what older students do, Severus," Harry interfered for the first time. "Former Professor or not, you wanted to be treated like all the others and that's how it is. We get pushed and bossed around by the older ones. Now you know why I didn't want to be a second year again."

"Hmpf," Severus said, protesting, but it made sense, and he had not seen it this way before.

"I never guessed I would say this, but thanks, Potter," Karlay said. They were close to the Great Hall now. "So we'll see you at four in the afternoon, Severus?"

Severus groaned his agreement and was happy when the two Slytherins jumped down the last stairs and ran to the Great Hall.

-II-

"Because you are a skinny-"

Severus had his wand out in a second and held it in Karlay's direction. "I'm not!"

"Severus, wand away! Five points for threatening a fellow student with you wand!" Alastor stated sternly.

"They were bossing me around!" Severus protested, but put his wand away.

"That's what older students do, Severus," Harry interfered for the first time. "Former Professor or not, you wanted to be treated like all the others and that's how it is. We get pushed and bossed around by the older ones. Now you know why I didn't want to be a second year again."

"Hmpf," Severus said, protesting, but it made sense, and he had not seen it this way before.

"I never guessed I would say this, but thanks, Potter," Karlay said. They were close to the Great Hall now. "So we'll see you at four in the afternoon, Severus?"

Severus groaned his agreement and was happy when the two Slytherins jumped down the last stairs and ran to the Great Hall.

-II-

Severus had eaten half of his meal when the post owls came into the Great Hall. Surprised, Severus took the letter that a big black eagle hawk owl had dropped on his plate. Good thing Severus had finished his strawberry marmalade roll a second ago. Holding his breath, Severus opened the letter. He had no idea who it could be from.

Dear Uncle Sev or just Sev?

I really don't know how to address you now. I only have a little information about your current situation from the Slytherins who write me and from Professor McGonagall. She says Professor Moody will contact me soon, but he hasn't had the time until now.

I'm sad that I lost my godfather and that you can't come and visit me like you did before, but I hope we can become friends now. Professor McGonagall said that Professor Moody will speak with me about visiting you, but maybe I will pass my test soon and come back to Hogwarts.

When I heard about those stupid Gryffindorks, I was very mad at the Slytherins. Why didn't they keep an eye on you? They will hear my opinion about this not only through the Howlers I sent them yesterday evening, but personally, as well, as soon as I'm back. That won't happen again!

I don't know how much you can remember. Professor McGonagall said that you will be able to remember me and all the other people you knew before. Only a few old memories will be placed in the back of your head. It's a bit hard to understand, but I guess it is even harder for you to understand it. So I won't mention it again. I just wanted you to know that you are safe with the remaining Slytherins. You had a good influence on most of us, and your private meetings with those who didn't want to follow our parents changed us. Those you couldn't convince or speak to because it was too dangerous have been removed from the school. I gave Dumbledore a list of those who should be watched closely in their foster families or with their relatives.

I hope I can come back soon! I can't wait to see you.

Take care of yourself and let the Slytherins keep an eye on you. They say you are in bad condition.

Why did you let Dumbledore re-Sort you? You are a Slytherin! Well, we can talk about this when I'm back.

I'm glad you are alive. Hit Potter for me because I'm sure he is the one responsible for the potion accident. Dumb Gryffindor. I told you not to let him near a cauldron, but you didn't want to listen.

Okay, take care, Sev!

Draco

Severus felt bad that he had forgotten about his weekly meetings with Draco. The events of the last days were too confusing. I need to ask Alastor to visit Draco, Severus told himself mentally.

"Severus, come on; finish your breakfast," Oliver demanded. "We need to leave for Charms soon!"

Severus groaned but obeyed.

"Hey, Sev, what about Quidditch? Do you want to try to play on our team? You could still join the reserves' training," Frederick offered.

"With these?" Severus asked, frustrated, showing him his hands. "And you need magic for flying!"

Frederick raised his eyebrow. "You still have your magic, you just have to relearn and heal a bit more. Stop the self-loathing. You could try. As a Seeker, you don't need to use your hands very often. Which position did you play in school?"

"Chaser," Severus muttered.

"Shall I speak with Madam Pomfr-?"

"No!" Severus exclaimed loudly. "Ehm...sorry, no. I don't think I should start flying yet." Severus blushed, embarrassed for shouting at the seventh year.

"Just let me know when you change your mind. I'm Quidditch Captain this year!" Frederick said proudly and patted his chest.

Amy rolled her eyes and grinned at Severus.

Severus wondered what Harry would do. Would they still let him play Seeker? And he had been captain. "Do you know if Harry is still Gryffindor's captain?"

"No, Weasley is now, but Harry is still the Seeker," Frederick said with his mouth full of cereal.

"Really, Frederick? You are unbelievable," Amy said, disgusted.

"And you love me for it," Frederick teased and leaned closer for a kiss.

Severus drew a face, and Oliver giggled.

Amy stood up and gave her boyfriend a cuff on his head. "I really don't know why I'm still your girlfriend."

"Because you love me, darling," Frederick shouted in a sing-song after her retreating form.

Alicia shook her head, and Oliver still giggled.

"Women," Frederick said, sighing.

Alicia looked disapprovingly at Frederick and then at Oliver. "At least Severus is mature here. I'm very glad you are in our house now, Severus!" Alicia said and stood up. With a last glare at Oliver, she left the Great Hall.

"Women," Oliver repeated Frederick's declaration. "Come on, get ready or Flitwick will have us in detention for being late."

A careful look in the direction of the head table showed Severus that Alastor was watching him. Sighing he finished his roll and drained his glass of apple juice. "I'm coming later," Severus said and stood up.

"Oh, no you don't, Severus. We already agreed that you will let us keep an eye on you," Frederick said and threw his napkin on his plate.

Severus groaned. "I just need to go somewhere before class."

"Then I will join you," Frederick said, not realizing Severus' blush.

Severus gaped, feeling all eyes on him. Angrily, he stormed in the direction of the door without saying anything. Frederick was close on his heels.

"You must be joking," Severus protested when Frederick followed him into the lavatory.

"What? I need to pee as well," Frederick said innocently while he chose one of the urinals to relieve himself.

Groaning, Severus took the one farthest from Frederick. He hissed when he heard the bell ring. He was late for Charms now. "Damn!"

"Use your old colleague bonus, Sev," Frederick said cheerfully when they reached the Charms classroom, obviously not caring that he would be late for whatever class he had.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Severus muttered, not looking up when he entered the classroom.

"Just take your seat, Mr. Snape. Over there with Mr. Potter," Professor Flitwick said friendly. Oliver had excused Severus before the class had started.

"Are you okay?" Harry whispered, worried.

"Yes, I just wanted to prevent one of those lovely accidents James spoke about," Severus explained. Harry did not know about his accident in the bathroom with James and Maria, but he knew about James' prognosis about his bladder control.

"Oh," Harry stated.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape, please pay attention!" Professor Flitwick scolded them.

Groaning, Severus pulled his Charms book out of his bag. This class was frustrating. It cost Severus a lot of energy to manage the simple Cleaning Spell they learned today. At least Harry did not manage it as well. Severus knew that it was bad to feel relieved seeing that Harry also had problems, but he could not stop how he felt about it.

"Mr. Potter, please stay after class," Professor Flitwick instructed shortly before the bell rang to end the class.

"What's your next class?" Severus asked Harry.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts. Yours?" Harry asked.

"Herbology," Severus grumbled.

Harry chuckled. "Then be careful that she doesn't kiss you in front of the whole class."

"Very funny," Severus uttered, annoyed. "I'll see you in Care of Magical Creatures."

"Yeah, see ya," Harry said and went over to Professor Flitwick's desk.

"Harry, you aren't helping Severus by pretending to not be able to perform a spell," Professor Flitwick scolded him when all the students had left the room.

Harry blushed. "I don't know what-"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Harry. Severus' magical core is damaged, but he isn't stupid. What do you think will happen if he finds out that you are pretending to have trouble?" Flitwick sighed. "Severus can learn all the spells; he just needs more concentration and self-confidence. Practice with him in the afternoon. That would give him more confidence, and maybe it will be easier for him to concentrate when it's just you two. I don't want to see you pretending to not be able to cast a spell again. Am I understood?" Flitwick asked.

Harry nodded, ashamed.

"Good, then hurry or you will be late for your next class. Please tell my students to come in," Filius instructed while lifting the Locking Charm on the door.

"Thank you, Professor," Harry mumbled on his way out.

/

Severus was surprised at how much he loved Herbology. It had a lot to do with Potions, but during his first time as a student, he did not see it like that and, therefore, did not enjoy it. Now everything was different. He liked to feel the soil in his hands as it cooled his aching fingers. It was also very relaxing to plant Hollyplants. Severus almost forgot everything around him.

The Slytherins were eying him curiously. Severus preferred the older Slytherins because the second years seemed to still see the Professor in him. Oliver had tried to distract him a few times because he hated Herbology and hoped that Severus would talk with him during their planting time. Soon he realized that Severus liked planting and left to talk with some other classmates. After a while, Severus realized a red haired girl close to him who was engrossed in planting as much as he was. He racked his brain to remember her name.

The red haired girl smiled at him, and Severus realized that he had stared at her for some time. "Sorry," Severus said, blushing. "I just...I...I was trying to remember your name."

"I'm new. My parents came here this summer after You-Know-Who was defeated. We lived in the States for the last five years. So you don't know me," she said and smiled again as she brushed the hair out of her eyes with her mulch-covered gloves.

Severus stared, fascinated, at the soil that remained at her forehead. "You...you..." He was at loss for words and just pointed at her forehead.

"Oh, I don't care. I see you like Herbology as much as I do. Would you like to join us in the Herbology club? We meet each Friday at three. Oh, I'm Jessica." She offered him her hand after pulling it out of the glove.

"Severus," he said and offered his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well, Severus. It must be odd to be in classes with you former students," Jessica said.

"I hardly remember them. I just see them as classmates. It's as if they never were my students. It's just odd with special ones I knew better." Severus was surprised that he felt comfortable speaking with her. Jessica was really nice, and Severus liked that she had not known him as a teacher. "I think it would be great to join your club. I will ask Professor Sprout after class."

"Really? That's great! We hardly find students who like Herbology. We have a special section in Greenhouse three for us. Neville Longbottom is leading our group when Professor Sprout isn't around. Do you know him? He's a sixth year Gryffindor."

"Yes, I know him," Severus grumbled. He could remember him very well. Severus pressed his hands against his head, memory after memory flashed through his head and he could not stop them. He also could not stop the emotions that overcame him; frustration, guilt, annoyance, helplessness...

"Severus? Severus, what's wrong?" Jessica asked worriedly, touching his shoulder.

Her touched pulled him out of the attack like Harry had been able to. He looked shocked at her, panting heavily.

"Come, Severus, a bit fresh air will do you good," Professor Sprout, who suddenly stood behind him, said close to his ear and helped him up. Outside the greenhouse, Pomona instructed, "Lift your arms up and breathe deeply."

Severus looked shocked at her.

Pomona sighed and grabbed Severus' arms to lift them up. "Really, Severus, you sometimes make things really complicated. Now breathe in...and out...in...and out...that's it, my boy."

Severus really felt much better after following her instructions, but he felt embarrassed as usual. He glanced at the windows of the castle and hoped nobody saw him with his hands held up in front of his teacher.

"Stop that!" Pomona scolded him and tapped his head. "Or you will get yourself in another attack. Concentrate on your breathing. I have a Concealing Charm on you, so no one can see you."

Severus looked puzzled at her and said, "When?"

"When we stepped out of the greenhouse, sweetie. Now concentrate on breathing and keep your arms up!" she commanded when Severus tried to put his arms down.

After two minutes, she allowed him to drop his arms and after another minute they went back into the greenhouse. Severus was relieved that she did not ask him to tell her what had caused the attack.

"Are you okay?" Jessica asked, and Alicia and Oliver came over as well.

"I'm fine. Sometimes those attacks happen. It's a way for my mind to handle the confusing memories and decide which one should stay in the front of my mind. The rest is still there, just farther away." Seeing their puzzled faces, he added, "It's hard to explain, and I don't understand it completely myself."

"No problem. The main thing is that you feel okay," Jessica said kindly.

"Yeah, mate," Oliver said and patted Severus on his back. Alicia just smiled at him.

"Back to work, kids. There are still many more to plant and we have still twenty minutes left," Pomona said and ushered Oliver and Alicia back to their places.

"Come on, let's talk with Professor Sprout about the club," Jessica said excitedly and guided Severus over to the professor.

"Miss Watson, Mr. Snape, how can I help you?" Pomona asked cheerfully.

"Severus would like to join our club," Jessica said happily.

"Oh, really, Severus?" Pomona exclaimed, forgetting to call Severus by his family name in the presence of other students.

"Yes, I like learning more about plants and herbs, and I like gardening. It's good to know what you use for potions and how to grow it," Severus explained.

Jessica giggled beside him, and when he looked puzzled at her, she said, "It's not an interview, you know?"

Severus glared at her, but when she just giggled more, he looked at Pomona. The older woman smiled kindly at him. "I'm glad you are interested in my class and the club. I'll see you on Friday at three then."

On their way back to the castle, Severus asked the now calmer Jessica if he would see her in the common room at four when he visited the Slytherins.

"I'm not amongst those they chose for you to be friends with," Jessica said sadly.

"They chose who should become my friends?" Severus asked, shocked.

"Yes, Karl and Corey are the ones they chose for becoming your closest friends. They are both good in Potions and Quidditch. They made a kind of interview for the second and third years yesterday. All boys could apply for the position as your friend," Jessica said, disgusted at their methods.

Severus fumed inwardly. He thought about not going to the meeting at all, but then he remembered Draco's letter and did not want to disappoint him. He was surprised that he did not have an attack while thinking about Draco. Maybe his feelings and memories of him were not so confusing as so many others. Severus slowly noticed a kind of pattern in the attacks. Maybe his mind was confused about all the memories that were influenced by his behavior as a Death Eater. Severus remembered that he often was confused by his own thoughts when he was an adult. Sometimes he could not differ between the emotions that where caused by the mask he had to wear as a spy and his true feelings. Reality and false emotions and actions had started to blend in with each other, and Severus had not been able to keep them separated. This confusion was causing the attacks. At least, that was what Severus thought about it. That's why I didn't have an attack when I thought about Draco. With Draco, I never feigned anything. I could trust him not to tell his parents about anything I told him, Severus remembered.

"Okay, I have to go over to the Slytherin table. Maybe we can meet another time. At the latest, I will see you on Friday," Jessica said and interrupted Severus' brooding. He had not even realized that they had reached the Great Hall.

Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed her hand when she turned to leave. Shocked, he let it go again when she turned around. Nervously, he ran a hand through his hair. "Ehm...I just wanted to tell you that I choose my friends on my own."

Jessica smiled from one ear to the other. "That's fantastic, Severus. See you!" She waved good bye and went over to her house table.

Frederick whistled when Severus sat down but got another cuff from his girlfriend for it. "What? Am I not allowed to congratulate Severus on his choice of date?"

Severus spat his apple juice over the table. "Date?" he exclaimed, shocked, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Don't listen to him, Severus," Amy said and waved her wand to vanish the mess Severus had made.

"It's no date!" Severus protested.

"Whatever you say," Frederick said, grinning at his buddies.

Oliver just looked puzzled at him, not understanding what could be so interesting about the girl for Severus to have talked with her for so long.

-II-

Jessica smiled from one ear to the other. "That's fantastic, Severus. See you!" She waved good bye and went over to her house table.

Frederick whistled when Severus sat down but got another cuff from his girlfriend for it. "What? Am I not allowed to congratulate Severus on his choice of date?"

Severus spat his apple juice over the table. "Date?" he exclaimed, shocked, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Don't listen to him, Severus," Amy said and waved her wand to vanish the mess Severus had made.

"It's no date!" Severus protested.

"Whatever you say," Frederick said, grinning at his buddies.

Oliver just looked puzzled at him, not understanding what could be so interesting about the girl for Severus to have talked with her for so long.

-II-

Harry nervously went over to the Ravenclaw table. The different houses normally stayed separated in the Great Hall, and Harry feared that the Ravenclaws would be hostile. His fear was, of course, ungrounded. Tobias Phelps, who sat on Severus' left side, made room for Harry to sit down. "He needs to finish before he can leave," the seventh year said when he stood up.

Harry nodded, gnawing his bottom lip. "Hey," he greeted shyly when he sat down.

"Hi, Harry, how are you?" Alicia asked cheerfully. "I'm Alicia."

"Severus told me about you," Harry stated while offering his hand to her.

"Really?" Alicia beamed at Severus.

As a 'thank you,' Severus glared at Harry and then at the grinning seventh years around Frederik.

Harry looked puzzled at Severus, not knowing what was wrong. He didn't know that they were teasing Severus about Jessica and Alicia.

"I'm Oliver," Severus' other friend said from the opposite side of the table.

"I know," Harry said again and shook Oliver's hand.

"Do you think we will go into the forest again today? I missed the last class," Harry said.

"I don't know. The Gnome colony had moved when we looked for them yesterday. I doubt Professor Hagrid found a new location of Gnomes yet," Alicia said.

"So I haven't missed much?" Harry asked, even though he knew the answer. He was happy to have a topic about which he could speak with the Ravenclaws.

Severus ate as quickly as possible so he could leave with Harry. His stomach protested, and he grabbed for it.

"Are you all right, Severus?" Harry asked, worried.

"Sure," Severus said between gritted teeth.

"It doesn't look like it," Harry said, frustrated.

"I would be fine if they weren't forcing me to eat so much," Severus said angrily. He looked surprised when the food in front of him vanished. A pop behind him announced the house-elf he had met yesterday. In its hand was a glass of apple juice.

"Master Severus shall drink this, and then he can leave," the house-elf instructed.

Severus glared at the creature and did not even think about taking the offered glass.

"Thank you, ehm, what's your name?" Harry asked politely.

The house-elf beamed at Harry. Its ear to ear smile revealed several sharp teeth that made Severus rethink his decision not to take the glass. "Me is Todly!"

"Todly, that's a nice name. Why don't you give me the glass, and I will make sure that Severus drinks it?" Harry offered.

The house-elf looked uncertain. A final look at the High Table, and she nodded. "Okay, Master Harry."

Harry glared at Severus and held the glass under his nose. "You got away with half of your food, so you could at least drink your juice without protesting."

"You are younger and cannot boss me around," Severus protested.

Harry did not waver. "Drink!"

Severus groaned after almost a minute of glaring. He took the glass and accidently spilled some of the juice. Grinning evilly, he celebrated it as a victory that he had at least spilled some of the offending liquid they were trying to fill him up with.

Harry just rolled his eyes. When Severus had drained the apple juice in one go, Harry stood up. "Come on, let's go!"

After another stop at the lavatory, Severus headed outside with his Ravenclaw friends and Harry.

Harry liked Oliver and Alicia. They were much more mature than his own second year housemates.

"So, you are friends with the American girl? What's her name?" Harry asked, interested.

"Jessica," Severus stated shortly.

"You're so talkative," Harry said, annoyed.

"Hmpf," Severus just said.

"Do you like Magical Creatures?" Oliver asked. He liked Harry, not because he was a hero but because he was so natural with Severus.

"Yes, Hagrid is a good friend of Severus and mine," Harry explained happily.

"He is a Professor, not our friend," Severus stated.

Harry stuck his tongue out behind Severus' back. Oliver giggled and patted Harry's shoulder.

Magical Creatures was uneventful. They gathered worms for the compost moles for one hour. The rest of the class was spent watching the creatures pulling the worms into their dens through the glass walls of the compost container. Severus was bored. "Do you know that you can brew a potion with their teeth and claws that allows you to see in the dark?"

"Really?" Oliver asked, excited.

Alicia was shocked. "How can you think about something like that? They are so cute!"

"Cute?" all three boys asked, shocked. The compost moles were naked, ugly creatures with big black eyes and two inch long teeth.

"Sure, look how cutely they look at us," Alicia said dreamily.

"I would say they look angry and want to say, 'Let us out here, you idiots!'" Severus said in a high pitched voice.

"You are all stupid," Alicia said to the innocent-looking Severus and the giggling Harry and Oliver.

"The class is over, kids. I want you to write an essay about compost moles. Two feet long!" Hagrid said cheerfully.

"Two feet?" many students protested. Severus and Harry were among them.

"Or better, three?" Hagrid wondered loudly. Suddenly, many students started to race to the castle, shouting sentences like, "Two feet, Professor Hagrid; see you next week!" over their shoulders.

"Hey, Harry, Severus!" Hagrid waved them over. "Will you come and visit me this afternoon?"

"Sure," Harry said immediately.

Severus bit his bottom lip nervously. He did not want to decline Hagrid's invitation. "I have a meeting with the Slytherins at four, and I have to finish an essay for Transfiguration for tomorrow."

"Oh, yes," Harry said sadly. "I also haven't done the essay yet." He shortly thought about it and then looked up happily. "We will just start the essay now until you have to leave for your meeting with the Slytherins. Then I will go and meet Hagrid. When you are done, you just come down here and we'll go home and finish the essay. What do you think, Severus?"

"Sounds good," Severus said. "We should tell Alastor that we will be in the library."

"Yes, lets go!" Harry said, excited. "See ye later, Hagrid!"

Hagrid chuckled at seeing the two brothers together. It seemed that they were slowly getting used to their new situation.

/

"He isn't here. Maybe he still has a class. Oh!" Harry hit himself on the forehead. "The Gryffindor sixth years have Defense now."

"Then let's go tell Poppy," Severus said, already heading for the door.

"How was your day?" Poppy asked them when they entered her office. The hospital wing was quiet, and so she had time to work on her papers.

"Good!" Harry exclaimed happily. "I met Severus' friends and they like me."

Severus rolled his eyes when Harry threw himself at Poppy and told her about his meeting with Oliver and Alicia as if it was something special.

Poppy looked amused while she hugged Harry tightly. "That's really nice, Harry. I'm glad you found new friends. Could you do me a favor, my boy?"

"Sure!" Harry beamed at her.

"I forgot my brown hair clip. Could you get it for me? It should be in the bathroom."

"I'll be back soon," Harry said and ran back to the quarters.

"So, do I get a hug from you as well?" Poppy asked, smiling at her older charge. Severus rolled his eyes again, but stepped closer to hug Poppy.

"Ah, that's good. So how was your day?" Poppy said.

"Maybe you should just ask me what you really want to because Harry will be back soon," Severus said.

"Always looking straight through me, Severus? I just wanted to thank you for letting Harry be friends with your friends. It was very hard for him to go into second year classes."

"Oh, and it was just so easy and wonderful for me," Severus said sarcastically.

Poppy sighed. "That wasn't what I implied, Severus." She cupped his cheeks. "I was very happy when I saw that you found new friends so easily, Severus. Of course the whole situation isn't easy for you. It's even more difficult for you than it is for Harry, but you must agree that you were more lucky at finding friends."

"Maybe," Severus mumbled. It was a bit awkward to speak while Poppy held his cheeks.

"All I wanted to say is that I'm proud of you for letting Harry be part of your friends. He needs you very much, Severus."

"I know. I'll be there for him. He likes my friends; that makes it easy." He proudly pressed his chest out. It felt good to be treated like the big brother he was.

"I'm so proud of you!" Poppy kissed his forehead and let his cheeks go the moment Harry came back into the office, panting.

"Here it is!" Harry said happily and gave Poppy the clip. He gasped for air. Maybe I shouldn't have run. Lately it seems I have no stamina anymore. Harry pushed his worry about it away. He hoped it was just a short after effect of the potion.

"Oh, thank you, Harry," Poppy said and pinned her hair up with the clip. She looked worried at Harry, who had a lot of trouble breathing. She waved her wand over him and was relieved that it was just exhaustion. Maybe the de-aging potion is still affecting his condition. I need to keep an eye on him.

"Yeah, it's always good to have an overeager owl in the family," Severus teased.

Harry pulled a face and stuck his tongue out.

"Stop teasing your brother, Severus. And you, Harry, no tongue-sticking."

Both boys groaned. Suddenly they were on the same side again, and Poppy grinned knowingly.

"We just wanted to tell you that we will be in the library writing our essay for tomorrow," Severus said.

"Severus will meet with the Sytherins at four, and I will go to Hagrid's. We will meet up there when Severus is finished," Harry explained.

"Be back by five-thirty at the latest. Maria will come over to check on you two and practice some exercises with you Severus," Poppy said.

Severus groaned. He had forgotten about that painful exercises, and he was not looking forward to them.

"Severus, those exercises are necessary. They will become less painful the more you work together with Maria," Poppy said emphatically.

"I know," Severus mumbled grumpily.

"Then off you go so you have enough time to finish your essay," Poppy said and ruffled Harry's hair.

/

"Where are the boys?" Alastor asked when he came into the hospital wing after his last class.

"Severus is with the Slytherins, and Harry is with Hagrid," Poppy answered.

After he kissed his wife, Alastor said, "Shouldn't they be studying? They have much to catch up on."

"I know, Alastor, but friends are important for them as well. They will only be able to catch up and enjoy school if they have friends. They studied for an hour in the library. Harry was so happy because he had become friends with Severus' friends. We can be a little lenient sometimes. I want them to be happy."

Alastor growled. "Poppy, they need to concentrate on their school work. I had a talk with Filius and Minerva. Severus has a lot of difficulties in their classes. Harry even attempt to not be able to perform in class just for Severus. This can't happen. Filius talked with Harry and ask us not to intervene right now, but we should inform Maria and James about Severus' difficulties. What do you say?"

Poppy sighed. "Yes, we should tell them, but I think it is normal. Severus will need time, and he is pressuring himself too much in front of his classmates. I think you should offer to teach him privately in the evenings and on weekends. Maybe Charlie, Tonks, and Kingsley will have time as well."

"That's a good idea. Don't let your head hang, love." He lifted her chin with one of his hands and kissed her softly.

"I know, I just want them to be happy," Poppy whispered against his lips.

"You are such a lovely mother," Alastor said, grinning. He kissed his wife again. The soft kiss became more heated, and Alastor pulled his wife closer before shutting and locking the office door.

-II-

Alastor growled. "Poppy, they need to concentrate on their school work. I had a talk with Filius and Minerva. Severus has a lot of difficulties in their classes. Harry even attempt to not be able to perform in class just for Severus. This can't happen. Filius talked with Harry and ask us not to intervene right now, but we should inform Maria and James about Severus' difficulties. What do you say?"

Poppy sighed. "Yes, we should tell them, but I think it is normal. Severus will need time, and he is pressuring himself too much in front of his classmates. I think you should offer to teach him privately in the evenings and on weekends. Maybe Charlie, Tonks, and Kingsley will have time as well."

"That's a good idea. Don't let your head hang, love." He lifted her chin with one of his hands and kissed her softly.

"I know, I just want them to be happy," Poppy whispered against his lips.

"You are such a lovely mother," Alastor said, grinning. He kissed his wife again. The soft kiss became more heated, and Alastor pulled his wife closer before shutting and locking the office door.

-II-

At first, Severus had been nervous about his meeting with the Slytherins. Then he had been angry because they seemed to think he was a baby and they could push him around. As if he was a trophy which they wanted for their house. Frederick had told another Ravenclaw boy to watch over Severus while he was in the Slytherin common room, but Severus had tricked the boy, so now he was without a chaperone.

Severus was pacing the Slytherin common room. "I will decide for myself who will be my friends. I don't need your help, Trevor," Severus spat at Karlay.

"I'm not telling you whom you should befriend. I'm just trying to introduce you to some second and third years, Severus."

They had all become comfortable with calling him by his first name much too quickly for his taste. "I have no interest. I don't need friends, okay? I won't even be at school for long, and I will be able to look out for myself."

"You don't need to lie to us about your condition. It was all over the-"

"Trevor," Anthony Barth interrupted him warningly.

"What?" Severus looked angrily from one to the other. "What did you want to say?"

"Nothing. Back to the second years, Severus. Marcus here-"

"No, I want to know what you were going to say. What's about my condition?"

Trevor groaned. "Come on, we all read it. Okay? It's fine. We can take care of you, and I'm sure you can even become something decent after school."

Severus looked shocked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Anthony came over to Severus. "Don't listen to him, Severus. Maybe we should meet again later."

Severus could not stop himself. He grabbed Anthony's shirt and pulled him close to intimidate him. Too bad the boy was almost a head taller than him. Anthony merely shrugged and pried Severus' fingers from his shirt, careful not to hurt Severus because it was already quite obvious that the action had caused Severus pain. "Your Healers have given your medical records to the press, Severus. We know everything."

Severus felt his heart stop beating. What records? And what was with the Slytherins speaking with him as if he were a Squib? Panic rose up. Maybe the adults had lied to him. "Give me the article!"

"No, I think we should end this meeting now, Severus. I will bring you back to your quarters," Anthony said, determined.

"The hell you will! I'm not your stupid pet, nor am I a damn second year!" With that, Severus stormed out of the room. He needed to get a Prophet. Charlie! Yes, he would have one in his office, and Severus still remembered the password.

"Is Charlie in there?" Severus asked the scary-looking man in the portrait that guarded the entrance to his old office.

"No, the current Potions Professor is not inside," the man answered curtly.

Severus smirked triumphantly. "Hard as steel." Nothing happened. "Why aren't you opening?"

"That is not the current password, and you are a student."

"What? Are you dumb? I'm Severus Snape. I placed your portrait here. Open up!"

"No, students are not allowed in here, Mr. Snape."

"You...you..." Severus furiously turned on his heels and went for the entrance hall. He wanted a Prophet, and he would find one in Hogsmeade.

Even though it was daytime, Severus started to feel scared when he was on the path that led through the Forbidden Forest to Hogsmeade. He reprimanded himself for behaving like a baby. He had never been afraid of the Forest before, so why should he be afraid now?

He tried to avoid looking at anyone in Hogsmeade. He still wore his normal black robes instead of his Ravenclaw ones because Poppy was not finished altering them. At least people would not know that he was a Hogwarts student. Still, it must have been very unusual to see a boy in formal robes in Hogsmeade during the week. Quickly, Severus made his way over to the books and newspapers shop. The shop was crowded, which gave Severus a good opportunity to hide behind a big newspaper and magazine rack. He found the Prophet and was surprised to see himself on the front page. Or, rather, his old self. Harry was also on it, and at first, Severus could only read things about Harry. The Poor Chosen One-What Did He Do to Deserve This? Is Severus Snape responsible for the potions accident? Questioning about this matter is still open. Guardians are working against the Ministry. Severus moved the newspaper so he could read a bit of the article. The words he read about himself made his mouth go dry. His heart beat faster. Severe brain damage. Severe magical core and channel damage. Not sure if he will ever be able to perform magic again. Should be in St. Mungo's locked wards for brain-damaged and magically-deprived. Suicidal. Eating disorder. Guardians refuse to give him proper treatment. Investigation against Alastor Moody and Poppy Pomfrey.

Severus felt cold sweat run down his temple. They wanted him in St. Mungo's because they thought he was suicidal, had severe brain damage, and could do almost no magic. Why did James and Maria not tell him? And why did they give that report to the newspapers? Now everyone knew what a cripple he was. They even thought him responsible for the accident. Severus needed to read the whole article, but he had no money. He peaked around the rack and saw two women talking with the shopkeeper. Quickly, Severus grabbed a newspaper and pushed it under his robes.

"Hey!"

Damn, the shopkeeper had seen him and was coming over to him. In a panic, Severus ran out of the shop and into a rack of newspapers and a bargain bin with old books. The Prophet fell out of his robes as he landed in the bin with the rack on top of him. Before he could free himself, the shopkeeper had him at his neck. "Wait, you rascal. I'm sick of you boys thinking you can steal my things and sell them."

"I haven't stolen anything," Severus lied and tried to get out of the shopkeepers grip.

"Oh no, you don't." He grabbed Severus by his arm. "Don't lie to me. I saw you shoving something under your robes. The fact that you lost it while damaging my shop isn't my problem. I have eyewitnesses." The man gestured over to the two women, who nodded.

"No, please," Severus said and still tried to wriggle free. Alastor would be furious.

"I will call an Auror."

Severus tried to struggle as if his life depended on it, but then the shopkeeper pulled him very hard and Severus winced in pain. "Stop this, or I will beat you like you deserve it before the Auror arrives."

Severus stared, shocked, at the shopkeeper and did not dare to struggle anymore. The Floo was used and minutes later, an old Auror stepped out of the fireplace. After the shopkeeper had explained what happened, the Auror took Severus and pulled him into the fireplace.

In his office, the Auror started to question Severus, but the boy insisted that he had not stolen anything and refused to say his name.

Severus was saying for the fifth time that he would not give his name when the door opened and a pink-haired head peaked in. Shocked, Severus recognized Tonks.

"Ah, so the rumors are true?" she said and stepped into the room.

"What rumors?" the old Auror asked, confused.

"That you have Severus here. What happened?"

"Severus? As in Severus Snape?" the Auror asked, surprised. He eyed Severus closely, who bit his bottom lip. "Now that you mention it...."

"Yes, that Severus. He didn't tell you his name?" Tonks asked.

"No, he didn't, and he refuses to tell me what he attempted to steal and why."

"Where did you arrest him?" Tonks asked while she drew a chair close to Severus.

"McMiller's bookshop. The shopkeeper couldn't say what he had put under his robes, but he has two witnesses who also saw him stealing. He ran away when the shopkeeper tried to question him but stumbled and fell. So was it a book, Severus? A Potions book?" Trying to find a solution for his de-aging problem would be something the old Auror would guess Severus would do.

Severus gulped and looked from the Auror to Tonks and back.

"Severus, you won't leave this office unless you tell us what you wanted to steal and why," Tonks said, serious but friendly.

"I did not steal, I...I just had no money. I would have paid later."

The old Auror raised his eyebrow. "That's still stealing, Severus."

Severus looked down at his hands in his lap.

"What was it, Severus? Did you try to find a book about de-Aging? You know it can't be reversed," Tonks said emphatically.

Severus was angry now. All that he had read came back into his mind. They had all lied to him. "I'm not speaking with you."

Tonks looked puzzled. "And why is that?"

"You are one of them!" That was all Severus said before he crossed his arms over his chest and looked to the side at the door. Unfortunately, said door was knocked on only a moment after he had started to stare it down. To Severus' horror, Kingsley stepped in.

"Sorry, I was looking for Ms. Tonks. It's an emergency. Severus Sna-" His eyes fell on Severus, who looked terrified at him. "You already found him?"

"So he is missed at Hogwarts?" Tonks asked.

"Yes, they are in an uproar." Kingsley stepped in and looked seriously at Severus. "What happened, Sev?"

He was one of them too, so Severus turned his head stubbornly to the other side, even though that meant he had to face the old Auror again.

"Maybe you two try to get something out of him while I inform his guardians that he is here?" the old man suggested, wanting to give the boy some privacy.

Kingsley nodded and sat down. "Severus, what is this all about? And why are you not speaking with me?"

"Go away. I want you all to leave me alone. You are all lairs." Severus hated himself for starting to cry. Emotionally unstable crossed his mind, and he felt even more frustrated.

Kingsley looked questioningly at Tonks, who quickly told him what she knew.

The old Auror came back to the desk and informed them that his guardians were waiting for him to be returned as soon as the questioning finished.

Severus' chin was taken, and he was forced to look at Kingsley. "You will tell me now what you did in that shop and why the hell you are mad at us." Severus tried to get his chin out of Kingsley's grip. "No! You will talk now!"

Severus was terrified. He knew his friend could be like this, but that behavior was only directed at him when he had done something very stupid or was being stubborn. That had happened quite often in the past few months, but it was never as terrifying as it was now as a child. "I...they...they said I..."

"Calm down and start anew, Severus," Kingsley said, more friendly this time.

Severus breathed deeply and then looked down. "They implied that I would never be the same again and that I will hardly be able to do anything decent in future. They said it was in the Daily Prophet. Charlie changed the password, so I couldn't get into the office. I knew he would have had a Prophet. The stupid portrait said I'm just a student. Then I thought about Hogsmeade, but I forgot to take any money with me. In the shop, I...I found it but could only read parts of it, but those parts were enough to know that I needed to read it completely because you are all lying to me. I won't go back. You all are not telling me the truth. You make me go to school even though you know that I'm not right in my head and will never be again. Do you think that's funny? I hate you all!" Severus shouted and stood up to run to the door. A jet of yellow light passed him and hit the door to lock it. Severus knew it, but still he desperately tried to open the door until Kingsley grabbed him from behind and pulled him on his lap.

"Severus, calm down. That article wasn't entirely true. The results of your test have been revealed by someone, but it was neither us nor your Healers. The Ministry must have had a leak. The content of your medical record is not identical to what you read in the Prophet. We already pressed charges against them, Severus. Tomorrow, an apology will be printed."

Severus was sobbing. "They wrote that I should be in the closed ward at St. Mungo's. They say I'm damaged and that there is an investigation against Alastor and Poppy and-" He was hyperventilating now.

"Calm down, Severus," Tonks said softly and stroked his hair. Kingsley's gentle hand on Severus' back helped as well, and Severus slowly started to breath normally again.

"I will go and speak with the shopkeeper. I'm sure he will not press charges against Severus after knowing the situation. Should I inform a Healer?"

"No, I think we will just wait until you let him go and then we will bring him back home. He has an appointment with one of his Healers today anyway," Kingsley explained.

"You can take him back. Tell Alastor I will call him later or come by myself so he can sign the necessary paperwork." The old Auror stood up and patted Severus' head. "Everything will work out, boy."

"Alastor will be furious," Severus mumbled miserably, but still he wanted to go home.

"I heard he promised to be lenient, didn't he?" Kingsley asked, smiling.

The old Auror smiled kindly and then vanished through the door.

Tonks went ahead of Kingsley and Severus to inform his family about what really happened. Kingsley, meanwhile, calmed Severus down a bit. The boy was still very terrified of what was awaiting him.

When Kingsley stepped out of the fireplace with Severus, the boy hardly had time to breathe in before Poppy was all over him. "What did you think, running away like that, Severus?" she scolded him, but nevertheless hugged him tightly.

"We will talk in your room now, Severus," Alastor commanded, and Severus heart sank into his boots.

"Alastor, please," Poppy tried to intervene, but was stopped by the stern look and the lifted hand of her husband.

"No, Poppy," Alastor said sternly and then grabbed Severus arm. "Come."

When they arrived in his room, Severus was a sobbing mess again. After locking the door and putting a Silencing Spell on the room, Alastor grabbed Severus' shoulder and turned him to face him. "You broke a lot of rules today, Severus, and I'm very angry. You can't just go and run away to Hogsmeade or anywhere else. You are twelve! Do you understand that?" He shook Severus and the boy cried even harder. "We were worried sick. Poppy almost had a heart attack. Albus couldn't sense you on the school grounds, and then we heard from the Slytherins how you behaved. You even tried to break into Charlie's office instead of coming here and asking us about what the Slytherins had told you. No, you ran away, thinking that you are safe running around like that. Do you think there aren't still people out there who want to see you dead, Severus? Do you want to run into them alone? Then you tried to steal the Prophet instead speaking with the shopkeeper about paying for it later. Did you even think once today?" Alastor was shouting directly at Severus. Severus could hear him even over his hard sobs.

"I...I'm sorry," Severus cried.

"I hope you are," Alastor bellowed, turned Severus around, and administered two swats to his bum. Severus had expected that, but still it stung like hell. He was surprised when that was all, and he was turned around again. "This will not happen again. You will not get away with something like this so easily. Is that clear?"

Severus nodded feverishly as he tried to get rid of all the snot and tears on his face with one hand and rubbed his bum with the other hand.

"I didn't hear you, Severus," Alastor said, this time calmer.

"Yes, sir," Severus said between more sobs.

"Good. Now let's get you cleaned up or they will think I tortured you," Alastor said, shaking his head while looking thoughtfully at the boy he called his son for a long time.

Severus shyly took Alastor's hand and hoped he would not push him away.

Alastor pulled Severus closer by the hand. "We were damn worried, Severus. Anything could have happened to you."

"I know. I'm sorry. Please stop being mad at me. You already spanked me. Now it must be forgiven, right?"

Alastor groaned and pulled Severus in a hug. "Yes, it is all forgiven, but you need to think before you do something like this again. And you need to learn to come to us when you have a problem or a question. We could have easily told you that the article was wrong."

Severus nodded into Alastor's chest.

"That was not my idea of getting you clean, Severus."

Embarrassed, Severus pulled away, but when he saw Alastor grin at him, he felt much better.

"Let's go to the bathroom."

Severus let Alastor wash his face like a good boy. He even let Alastor guide him to the living room by his hand.

-II-

"I know. I'm sorry. Please stop being mad at me. You already spanked me. Now it must be forgiven, right?"

Alastor groaned and pulled Severus in a hug. "Yes, it is all forgiven, but you need to think before you do something like this again. And you need to learn to come to us when you have a problem or a question. We could have easily told you that the article was wrong."

Severus nodded into Alastor's chest.

"That was not my idea of getting you clean, Severus."

Embarrassed, Severus pulled away, but when he saw Alastor grin at him, he felt much better.

"Let's go to the bathroom."

Severus let Alastor wash his face like a good boy. He even let Alastor guide him to the living room by his hand.

-II-

He held Alastor's hand until they got to the living room, where he quickly felt embarrassed and let go. His face was burning, and he did not dare to look up.

"Everything cleared up?" Kingsley asked.

Severus nodded. "Shouldn't I apologize to the shopkeeper?"

"He was very understanding and won't press charges against you," the old Auror said. He must have come over while Severus and Alastor had been occupied.

"Minos," Alastor greeted the Auror and went over to him. "Thanks for taking care of him."

"There was not much to take care of. With the Minister himself as his friend, your boy will get himself out of anything."

"I don't think so," Kingsley and Alastor said in unison.

Minos laughed. "I need to go. Don't make his life a living hell. Or am I already too late to ask that?" The old Auror looked from Alastor to Severus and back.

"I'm fine," Severus said softly.

"Good to hear," Minos said, chuckling. "Getting old, Alastor?" he teased his ex-coworker and patted Alastor's shoulder.

"Don't count on it. I'm more lenient with my sons than I was with my former trainees and coworkers."

Minos laughed. "Take care, Severus."

"I should go as well before I get it from my boss," Tonks said and ruffled Severus' hair. She leaned over to whisper in Severus' ear. "It's over now, Sev. Stop looking so gloomy. They have forgiven you."

Severus looked up into her smiling face. "I will try to come over this weekend." Tonks hugged him and then said good-bye to the others.

"Stop trying to solve everything by yourself, Severus. It's not safe out there for you at the moment," Kingsley said and placed a hand on Severus' shoulder. "You need to get that into your head. There are still too many Death Eaters out there who are waiting for their chance to make you pay for the role you played in Voldemort's downfall."

Severus flinched hearing the evil wizard's name. "I'm sorry."

Kingsley shook his head. "I don't know what to do with you, Severus."

Severus let his head hang. "Don't be so harsh, Kings," Charlie said and laid a calming hand on his partner's shoulder.

"I'm not harsh, Charlie. We all know what kind of scum is waiting out there."

"Kings, he's twelve. Maybe you should choose your words a bit more carefully before you go on."

Kinglsey sighed. "I know. I'm just worried. He doesn't seem to realize what this all means."

"No, he doesn't, and I'm quite glad about that," Charlie said through clenched teeth. "He's had enough trouble adjusting. He should worry about the outside world now. We should take care of that."

"You are right." Kingsley leaned over and kissed Charlie.

"They said I was responsible for the accident. I read it in the Prophet. I'm in quite a bit of trouble. They will bring me in for an investigation and then I'll have to go to Azkaban, right?" Severus tried to be strong, but the thought scared him a lot.

"There will be a questioning, but just for the papers, Sev. I made them give you some time to adjust, and Alastor and I will be present. Don't worry. It has been scheduled for this Friday. It's not to find out who is guilty, just to get the story of the accident on paper. Harry will be heard as well." Kingsley looked at the silent black-haired boy on the couch. "You, of course, have nothing to worry about either, Harry. It's just a formality."

"But the Prophet-" Severus protested.

"-Wrote a bunch of crap, Sev," Charlie said and pulled Severus into a hug. "You need to forget what was in that article. Your Healers will tell you anything you need to know about your health. You should leave everything else to us and your guardians."

"But it also said that there was an investigation."

"If you were still able to remember everything," said Alastor, "you would know that I seem to be a magnet for investigations. Have they ever found me guilty of anything? No. This time, it is even more of a joke than ever before. They have nothing against me or Poppy. We told you that first day that we immediately took custody of you and Harry. The Ministry can do nothing against us."

"But they said that I should be locked away and that...that...that I'm suicidal, and so you should-"

"Nobody tells me what I should do except your Healers, Severus," Alastor said. "And they have never said anything about you being suicidal or that you should be locked away."

"Of course we didn't! What's going on here?" Maria said as she stepped out of the fireplace.

"Oh, no," Severus said miserably. And then he did what he had promised not to do again. He ran. Severus could hear footsteps behind him, but he did not stop until he was in Harry's and his room. Relieved, he realized that it was Harry who had followed him.

"Are you all right, Severus?" Harry asked, out of breath.

Severus threw himself on his bed. "No."

"What? They all said you were forgiven. Ehm...or...does it hurt?"

"He only spanked me twice. I thought he would beat me until I couldn't sit anymore after what I did."

"So it's okay, right? What is it if it's not that?"

"Are you dumb?" Severus turned around to look at Harry who sat beside him on his bed. "Now I will get a tongue lashing from our Healers, and then she will torture my hands. I just want this damn day to be over."

Harry looked sympathetically at him.

"Healer Meyers said it will become less painful over time."

"Great," Severus said sarcastically and hid his face in his pillow. A moment later, someone knocked at their door and both Healers came in.

"Hello, boys," James said cheerfully. Maria smiled at Harry and winked. James pushed Harry's hair out of his face. "Everything all right, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "School was okay."

James smiled. "How about we go over to your bed and I have a quick check-up with you?"

Harry nodded after patting Severus' shoulder one last time and stood up to follow James.

Maria, meanwhile, sat down beside Severus. "Come on, sweetie, turn around."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me or James, Severus. We are here to check if you are okay."

Severus turned around. "Do we really have to do the hand thing?"

Maria sighed. "Yes, we have to, but I will cool them this time so that you won't feel it so much. You know I can't give you a painkiller; the danger of overdoing it while you can't show me any signs of pain would be too high."

Severus did not look convinced.

"How was your day? You can leave out the last part as I have already heard from your family about it and I think you have already been scolded enough about it. If you have any questions as to what was in the article, I will be here to answer them."

"There were a lot of things in that article that-" He looked over to Harry, but he was occupied by James. "-scared me. They said I have severe brain damage. The Slytherins implied that I will never be a real wizard again."

"You are a real wizard, Severus. Can you still remember how the magic system works?"

Severus nodded. "Every witch and wizard has a magical core where all magic is stored. When you use it, it will be produced again from that core. The size of the core and how quickly it can reproduce magic is different for each wizard. People like Albus have a huge core that reproduces magic very quickly."

"Exactly. And what do you need besides the core to cast spells and charms?"

"The channels. They are everywhere in the body. Like a net."

"That is also correct. It's like your nerve system. Both those systems have been damaged by your former experience with Voldemort and the potions accident."

Severus looked fearful. They had already told him that, but maybe she would tell him now that it was actually much worse.

"Your core is capable of holding the same amount of energy as it was before Voldemort tortured you. However, its ability to reproduce magic has been damaged severely by Voldemort. You don't notice that handicap yet, and we will help you to get used to it when the time comes. Right now, you aren't able to use your magic correctly because the net of magic channels has been destroyed by Voldemort and by the potion. The potion only caused a very small amount of that damage. It damaged your nerve system quite a bit more. But back to the magic problem. Your channels have been about 60 percent destroyed, but that is not as big a problem as you might think. Imagine how a net consists of many small junctions between the threads. Those junctions are mostly still fully intact within you; only the channels between them have burned or ripped. As your body is still growing now along with your magic core, you will build new connections. The magic will never flow as easily, but you will only loose a minimal amount of magic flow. You will learn to accept that. If you listened carefully, you have already heard me say that your magic core is growing as well. That means you will have an even bigger core than before. That should help you to balance out your limitations because of your scarred channel net."

"And the reproducing magic problem?"

"It can't be helped. No therapy has been found except for regular energy transfer, but if you learn to control the amount of magic you use for each spell, you will be able to do anything you want. If you ever go over your limit, there are a lot of people able and willing to supply you with magic from their core."

"You lose magic permanently during brewing."

"We will worry about that when the time comes. Your last potions class went well, didn't it?"

"It was only an hour and a half of brewing. When I want to work as a Potions Master again, I will need much more magic."

Marie looked thoughtfully at Severus. "Can we make a deal and talk about that when we have reached a point where we can evaluate how much it will affect you? There are a few years of school in front of your, and maybe you would like to become something else besides a Potions Master."

Severus felt the first tears roll down his face. He knew exactly what Maria was saying in a roundabout way: he would never be able to work as a Potions Master again.

"Severus, stop crying. There is still a chance that your will learn to use your magic perfectly, and with a regular magic transfer, you could even be a Potions Master again."

Severus wiped the tears away. He wanted to be strong. He nodded even though it was so terrifying to know that he would be depending on others for the rest of his life.

"Will you let me check you through now?" Severus nodded.

After the diagnostic spell, Maria smiled at him. "Everything like expected. Nothing to worry about."

"That's easy for you to say."

"I know, Severus," Maria petted Severus hair and looked over to James.

/

James led Harry over to his bed. He knew Maria would take care of Severus; she knew him much better.

"So how was your day at school, Harry?"

"It was okay. I still don't like my classmates, but I made friends with Severus' friends. They are great, and they like me." Harry beamed. "And I met with Hagrid."

"That sounds like a fun day. Any problems during class?"

Harry blushed. "Have they told you something?"

"Should they have?" James asked innocently while he pulled a small, coin-like membrane out of his pocket.

"I got in trouble with Professor Flitwick," Harry whispered in hopes that Severus would not hear him.

James smiled. "There is a Silencing Charm on your bed and on Severus'. You don't need to whisper."

Harry smiled shyly. "Yeah, I got in trouble because I pretended to not be able to cast a charm. Severus was so frustrated, and I feared he would be even sadder if I was able to do it."

"Severus must accept that it will be much easier for you to learn and do magic, Harry. Pretending to fail isn't helping him."

"I know. Professor Flitwick told me so. He said I should study with Severus. That would be more helpful."

"That was very good advice. So you have no problems memorizing or casting spells?"

"I have trouble remembering the school stuff, but I have no problem after a few attempts. I think it will be even easier this time around than the first, and I don't have a maniac breathing down my neck this time either."

"That's the correct attitude, Harry," James said, chuckling. "I would like to listen to your heart and your lungs now. Poppy said you still have some conditional problems."

Harry's face fell. He, of course, had also noticed that he was quickly getting tired and out of breath, but he had hoped it was just because of his short legs and smaller body.

"Don't make a face before I even have the chance to check you." James ruffled Harry's hair and then helped him out of his robes and shirt. "Breathe in deeply." James listened to Harry's lungs and frowned.

He had to breathe several times for James while the Healer moved the membrane over his chest and back. "What's wrong?" Harry asked, scared.

"No, I'm sorry, Harry. I would like to have Maria listen before we talk about it. I fear I will need another blood sample as well."

"No," Harry said, miserable. Not in real protest, just to make his discomfort known.

"I know, Harry. I will ask Poppy and Alastor to come in for it as well. A bit more support will help, right?"

Harry still looked very sad but nodded.

"Lie down and let me scan you. Then I will get your guardians and ask Maria to listen to your lungs." Five minutes later, James stood up. He could feel Maria looking at him already and hoped she was finished with her diagnostic as well. "No tears before we know for sure what's wrong, and I promise to make the blood removal as quick as last time, Harry."

Harry nodded and fought hard against his tears.

"Maria, could you please check Harry's lungs. I fear we may have a problem. I will get Alastor and Poppy as we will need another blood sample from Harry."

-II-

He had to breathe several times for James while the Healer moved the membrane over his chest and back. "What's wrong?" Harry asked, scared.

"No, I'm sorry, Harry. I would like to have Maria listen before we talk about it. I fear I will need another blood sample as well."

"No," Harry said, miserable. Not in real protest, just to make his discomfort known.

"I know, Harry. I will ask Poppy and Alastor to come in for it as well. A bit more support will help, right?"

Harry still looked very sad but nodded.

"Lie down and let me scan you. Then I will get your guardians and ask Maria to listen to your lungs." Five minutes later, James stood up. He could feel Maria looking at him already and hoped she was finished with her diagnostic as well. "No tears before we know for sure what's wrong, and I promise to make the blood removal as quick as last time, Harry."

Harry nodded and fought hard against his tears.

"Maria, could you please check Harry's lungs. I fear we may have a problem. I will get Alastor and Poppy as we will need another blood sample from Harry."

-II-

"Hello, Harry. James suggested I check your lungs," Maria said, trying to not frighten Harry more than he already was.

"He said there is a problem." Harry could not stop his tears anymore.

"Oh, oh, oh, sweetie. We don't know right now what it is." She let Harry hug her and sent him some calming magic. These boys had to go through a lot. Maria felt very empathic towards them. "Come on, stop crying, Harry."

The mattress beside Harry dipped down and another small hand grabbed his. "What's wrong, Harry?"

"My lungs," Harry said, still sobbing, but he was already fighting against the tears.

"Maria will make it better."

"What if she can't?"

"Then we will go down in the annals as the Cripples of Hogwarts."

"Severus Snape!" Poppy said, shocked, from the door, but Harry giggled and finally regained control.

"Thank you, Severus," Maria said and started to listen to Harry's lungs. She instructed him to breathe in deeply and then to hold his breath. By the end, Harry was totally out of breath and gasped harshly for air. Maria helped him with a hand on his chest, and soon Harry was able to breathe normally.

"So?" Alastor asked.

"His lungs are damaged by the potion. Maybe Harry already had pre-existing damage or it is just bad luck. He is developing asthma. Was that your diagnosis as well, James?"

"Yes. It's still in the early stages, and it will take some time to see how much it will influence him, but we need to supply you and anyone Harry is visiting with an emergency potion. It can be administered orally or injected depending on if he is unable to swallow. Severus should be taught how to use it as well as he will most likely be with Harry. What do you think, Severus?" James asked.

"Okay. I will watch out for Harry."

Harry still looked scared. This all sounded bad. "Why can't I take it myself? I don't want to be so reliant on others."

"You will have an applicator to use, but it will take some time for you to get used to it. The first time you will need help."

"An applicator to inject the potion?"

"No, it will release the amount of potion into your mouth that you will need to swallow during an attack. It's similar to the Muggle version of an asthma inhaler, but you need to swallow the potion. Do you know about that?"

Harry nodded. "A boy in preschool had one of those inhalers. Still, he was taken away with an ambulance four times."

"You don't need to go to a clinic, Harry. In our world we can help you better, but it will still take some time for you to get used to it. Later you will almost not be effected by it, but you need to be careful. No overdoing sports or any other exhausting activities."

"Quidditch?" Harry asked, shocked.

"Quidditch will be all right as long as you have your applicator on hand and listen to your body signs," Maria assured Harry.

"Are you sure that is wise, Maria?" Poppy asked, worried.

"I think Maria is correct. Harry will learn to get used to it. An attack can be very frightening, but with enough people around who know how to help or where to go for help, it won't be dangerous," James supported his coworker.

Poppy did not look convinced, but Alastor calmed her down so she agreed. Sometimes only time can say if something works out.

"We will teach you and the people around you how to use the potions tomorrow, Harry. Until then, no running or other exhausting activities. Can we trust you to behave?"

Harry nodded. He had no intention of getting an attack without having a potion on hand.

"To know how to measure the potion, we'll need some blood, Harry," James said and started to rummage in his bag. Maria, meanwhile, sent Severus back to his bed and helped Harry to lean against her chest. Poppy sat down on Harry's other side and held his hand.

"Okay, I will numb the spot like last time, Harry. Try to breathe calmly and don't tense." Two minutes later, it was over and Harry was finally allowed to dress.

"Now as for you, Severus," James said and went over to the long-haired boy. "I will hold you like last time, okay?"

Severus nodded. He knew there was no way around it and he wanted it to be over as soon as possible. The pain was horrible when Maria started to stretch his fingers and move his stiff joints, and Severus whimpered and pleaded for them to stop. The magical stimulation of the joint fluid was not so painful, but it was very uncomfortable and his hands grew painfully hot. James spoke calming words in Severus' ear like last time, and it helped a bit, but not knowing when it was finally going to be over was agony. "All done, Severus," Maria said after five minutes and sent magic into Severus' hands. James also applied magic as he realized Maria was only concentrating her magic on Severus' hands. He let calming magic flow into Severus' body and soon the boy relaxed.

/

"Hey, Sev," Jessica said when she passed him in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Severus was early in hopes of getting a place in the back so as not to be in Remus' direct view. He was glad that the second years were not as bossy as the elder Slytherins and did not dare to annoy him. They just stared uneasily at him. One of the boys that the older Slytherins wanted him to befriend dared to ask him to sit beside him, but Severus' glare made him back away quickly.

"Hey," Severus greeted Jessica and then quickly made a decision. "Ehm, can we sit together? I mean...ehm..."

She smiled at him. "Sure you can. I don't have a partner, so I often have to team up with Professor Lupin. It's a bit embarrassing since we didn't have this class at my old school. So you should be aware that I'm not very good. Maybe it would be better for you to team up with one of the others." Seeing Severus' hurt expression, she quickly added. "Still, I would love to have you as my partner, Sev."

"I don't really like that name," Severus said uncomfortably, looking around if many of his classmates had heard that nickname.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just feel more comfortable calling people by nicknames. 'Severus' is such a...well...were I lived, people often call you by nicknames. I will try to not do it again."

Severus looked at her innocent face, and before he could stop himself, he said, "It's not that bad...you can call me...Sev." He screwed his face at his name. "Harry and some others have been calling me that very often lately."

"It's a nice nickname."

"Yes, maybe that's exactly why I hate it."

"Hate is a strong word, Sev." She turned and led him over to her desk. To Severus' horror it was in the first row. So much for not being in Remus' direct view.

"So how are you? The older ones say you ran out of the common room angry at them. They are very scared of that Malfoy guy now."

"That Malfoy guy was...is my godson." Severus felt cold sweat form on his whole body.

"Are you all right? You look pale and sick," Jessica asked, worried, and took Severus' hand.

The body contact snapped him out of whatever had overcome him. "I...it's hard to describe. I see his face and know I should feel like a godfather or a father figure, but there is nothing. I just see a boy to whom I feel very close. It is all so confusing."

"I can imagine." Jessica looked emphatically at Severus, her thumb still caressing the back of his hand. "I'm sure things will become clearer when you meet him. It seems he is very fond of you. He is making the older Slythrins report to him every day and pressures them to take better care of you."

"I don't want them to take care of me. I already have enough people caring for me."

Jessica laughed. "Yes, it does seem that way. Maybe things will settle down in a few weeks. Don't worry too much."

Severus sighed. He missed the warmth of her hand on his his when she removed it. "I wish some weeks would already have passed. I would have a lot of things off my chest."

"Things like what? Maybe I can help you."

"No, I have to go through it. No matter what. I'm used to dealing with problems on my own."

"That was when you were an adult, Sev. You have to get used to other people helping you."

Severus could not reply to this because Remus came into the room. The first half of the class was theory, and Severus' hand hurt from all the writing. The second half they practiced spells in teams. Jessica and Severus both needed some help from Remus. Severus feared that Remus would team him up with someone else. Fortunately, he was very patient, and in the end, both Severus and Jessica were able to perform the two new spells.

/

Harry groaned. He would like to crouch behind one of the big plants and not come out until the class was over. His classmates were as annoying as they had been the previous two days. They were trying to speak with him all the time and everyone was trying to befriend him. Why did they not understand that he did not want to befriend them? Never had Harry felt so lonely and foreign amongst so many people. Why could they not be like Severus' classmates?

"Hey, Harry. I can do that for you," Stan said and grabbed Harry's morning flower out of his hand to plant it.

"I can do it alone!" Harry said angrily and tried to pull the flower out of Stan's hand. The flower wasn't taking the fight over her well, and when the first leaves were pulled out she bit. Unfortunately, it was Harry's hand that she dug her sharp little teeth into. "Argh!"

Harry tried to pull the flower from his hand, but she just bit harder. Harry could feel little hooks fastening into his flesh and the wound started to burn. He had not been paying attention when Professor Sprout had told them about the flower, so he did not know if it was poisonous.

"Everyone, out of the greenhouse! Go over to Professor Hagrid's hut. Tell him that he shall keep you occupied until I'm back," Professor Sprout instructed the students while she came over to Harry. "Stop pulling on her, Harry. She will only bite harder and release more poison. I will bring you to the hospital wing."

Harry felt sick. The hospital wing again. Why the hell could he not survive one week without being sent to the hospital wing?

Professor Sprout summoned a cold cloth and wrapped it around Harry's swollen hand. "Don't worry, Harry."

The moment they stepped into the hospital wing, Poppy was all over Harry. One look at Harry's hand and Poppy told Pomona to call for Charlie. She needed an antidote or at least Mostermoss to get the flower to let go of Harry's hand with as little damage as possible.

Harry quickly was in one of the hospital bed and in his pajamas. He would spend the day here. Harry was already frustrated. His next class would have been Transfigurations with Severus, and he hated to think about Severus being alone in that class. He knew that it was Severus' most feared class of all.

When Charlie arrived, Harry had a cold and wet cloth on his forehead and his chest. Harry's hand had swelled to twice its normal size. The stress was slowly taking a toll on him, and he felt his chest and his lungs tighten as he gulped for more oxygen.

"You need to stay calm, Harry," Poppy said and stroked a sweaty wisp of hair out of Harry's face.

"I can't! My chest."

"I will get your potion, but let Charlie get the flower off you." With that, Poppy disappeared out of Harry's view and Charlie took over.

"This will hurt, Harry, but I will try to make it as fast as possible." Charlie took Harry's swollen hand and put some oily moss over the plant that still was hooked into his flesh.

"It's biting harder, Charlie!" Harry said miserably.

"I know; it will stop soon." After a few seconds, Charlie grabbed the flower and pulled. Meanwhile, Poppy came back and injected Harry's asthma potion in his belly.

"Poppy, what...why?" Harry gulped for breath. Then a movement to his left and a sharp pain in his hand made him look at Charlie again, who held the wild and snarling morning flower in his hand.

"I'll take it, Charlie. Take care, Harry. I will visit you in the afternoon to see how you are," Professor Sprout said and left the hospital wing.

Harry felt his lungs relax, and he could breathe better. The pain in his hand was his first priority now. "It hurts and it looks as if it will explode."

"It won't explode, but there is poison in your body now. We need to neutralize it. I'm sorry, but this potion tastes very bad." Charlie uncorked a vial with brown glop in it that made Harry gag just by looking at it. "There is no way around it, Harry." Charlie pressed the vial to Harry's lips, and Harry had no other choice than to drink the foul-smelling potion.

It was the most horrible potion Harry had ever taken. Not even Skelo-Grow was that bad. He choked violently, but nothing came up.

"Relax, Harry. You need sleep now. Things will look much better in a few hours," Poppy said while she helped him to lay down comfortably.

/

Where the hell was Harry? Everyone else was in the room already except for Harry. Severus became nervous.

When Minerva started the class, Severus could not concentrate on anything. He was too worried. Not even when Minerva stepped close to him and told him that Harry had a small incident in his first class but was all right did he calm down. He did not manage even one bit of tranfiguration in the class, but he did not care. After class, he did not go into the Great Hall to eat lunch but ran up to the hospital wing.

"Severus, what are you doing here?" Poppy asked when Severus stormed into the room.

"I want to see Harry," Severus explained and looked around. One of the beds was hidden behind a white curtain.

"Harry is sleeping, Severus, and that won't change until this afternoon. He is healing from morning flower poisoning."

"Morning flower poisoning?" Severus racked his brain until he found the information he was looking for. Very painful but not serious. "Has he been in a lot of pain?"

"He is all right now, Severus."

"That wasn't the answer to my question, Poppy," Severus protested.

"That's all you will get before you eat lunch, young man. Alastor is in the Great Hall, and I would hurry down there to eat if I were you." She looked sternly at him while she crossed her arms over her chest. "Harry can tell you all about his accident when you come back here after classes."

Severus sighed. "Yes, Poppy."

-II-

"Severus, what are you doing here?" Poppy asked when Severus stormed into the room.

"I want to see Harry," Severus explained and looked around. One of the beds was hidden behind a white curtain.

"Harry is sleeping, Severus, and that won't change until this afternoon. He is healing from morning flower poisoning."

"Morning flower poisoning?" Severus racked his brain until he found the information he was looking for. Very painful but not serious. "Has he been in a lot of pain?"

"He is all right now, Severus."

"That wasn't the answer to my question, Poppy," Severus protested.

"That's all you will get before you eat lunch, young man. Alastor is in the Great Hall, and I would hurry down there to eat if I were you." She looked sternly at him while she crossed her arms over her chest. "Harry can tell you all about his accident when you come back here after classes."

Severus sighed. "Yes, Poppy."

-II-

Severus' head was sinking down on his desk for the third time. Professor Binns' monotone voice was too hard to listen to without falling asleep. He had been Severus' teacher the first time around, and he had had the same effect on him back then. Oliver was no help in keeping him awake because he was already snoring beside him. Only the disgusting fear of being drowned in the small pond of Oliver's drool made Severus fight.

"Mr. Snape!"

Damn, he had lost the battle. He jerked up when Binns almost screamed in his ear.

"Mr. Snape, I wasn't fond of your disrespect during your first time at school, and I'm not now either. Maybe now there are people who care if you are taking your classes serious or not. You have detention with me at five to note down what you missed during your nap."

"Professor Binns, Severus is still recovering. I'm sure he wasn't sleeping out of disrespect or-"

"Ms. Block, I can assure you that Mr. Snape knows exactly why I am giving him detention. He has told me very clearly what he thinks about my class and my teaching methods as a student and as a professor, so don't think you can tell me whether or not he is doing this out of disrespect."

Alicia was shocked. She had never seen Binns like this. He almost never addressed them, and she would have sworn that he did not know any of their names, but it seemed she was wrong. There was obviously some kind of feud between Severus and the professor, and now Severus was not in a good position.

"Five o'clock, Mr. Snape. Don't be late. Your guardians will be informed about your disrespectful manner, and I hope Professor Moody will take care of you," Binns said and grinned unsympathetically at Severus.

Severus did not know what to do. He had said good-bye to Oliver and Alicia, but he did not dare to go home. Binns hated him, and he would tell Alastor about his behavior in class. Alastor was a harsh teacher, and disrespect was something he did not like and punished hard. Severus always was happy that he never had Alastor as his teacher, but now things had changed. Binns could pay him back now. Every mock, every disrespectful comment, every sneer he had sent his way. Binns knew Alastor well, and he knew that Alastor would feel responsible and punish Severus, even though he already had detention. Severus had felt very lucky that Alastor had only given him two swats for his escapade in Hogsmeade. His father would have beaten him bloody for what he had done yesterday. Alastor was not like his father, but Severus was still scared to go home. He did not want to be punished. No spanking, no standing in a corner, and no early bedtime or grounding or whatever Alastor would come up with.

Severus was surprised when he found himself at the top of one of the high towers and sat down in a window sill, his legs drawn up to his chest. How was Harry? Severus felt bad for not being there for Harry. He knew how painful a morning flower bite could be, but the fear of facing Alastor was greater.

He did not know how long he had been sitting on that window sill, but when Alastor stepped beside him, his hands and legs felt like ice.

"What are you doing here, Severus?"

Severus could not speak and just looked at Alastor with big eyes.

"Severus?"

"I...I'm sorry."

"Let's go home. You need some warm tea in you or Poppy's hot chocolate."

Severus hid his face behind his knees. "Please don't spank me."

Alastor sighed. "I don't plan on spanking you, Severus. Yesterday was an exception because you did something very dangerous and scared us. It was two swats to make you think about what you did, not a real spanking. You don't have to fear me."

Severus peeked up from behind his knees. "Promise?"

Alastor shook his head in disbelief. "I promise. Now come, or your...or Poppy will worry even more."

Severus reluctantly stood up and made sure his backside was not in Alastor's direction. His father had often promised him things to get him out of a hiding place and then beat him as soon as he got him in his reach. Alastor did not do this, so Severus slowly calmed down on their way back home.

When they entered their quarters, Severus saw Harry sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace with Pomona at his side.

"Severus!" Harry exclaimed happily. "Where have you been? How was Transfigurations? Look at my hand. I was bitten by a morning flower."

"Give Severus time to breathe, Harry." Alastor chuckled while he guided Severus over to the couch and wrapped a blanket around him. A warming spell on the blanket made Severus sigh happily. "I will tell Poppy that I found you." With that, Alastor left.

"What happened, Severus?" This time it was Pomona who spoke.

Severus blushed. "I would prefer to not talk about it."

Pomona frowned. "Severus, if there is trouble again, you should tell me. Your last class was with my Hufflepuffs, wasn't it? Were they giving you any trouble?"

"No, it was Binns. Ehm...Professor Binns." Severus looked down.

"Cuthbert gave you trouble?"

Severus said nothing.

"What did he do, Severus?" Harry asked curiously.

"He gave me detention and threatened to tell Alastor so he would..."

"So he would what?" Alastor asked from near the painting that led into Poppy's office.

Poppy was standing beside him looking even scarier than Alastor.

Severus gulped and quickly looked down again.

"Family time I guess," Pomona said and stood up. "I'm glad you are feeling better, Harry. Next time I expect from you to pay more attention in my class. Being irritated by your classmates shouldn't make you careless."

"I know, Professor. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"I hope so," Pomona said friendly. "Severus, I'll see you tomorrow. Please stay after class so we can talk about the Herbology club. Neville is also coming over to the greenhouse, and he wants to speak with you before Friday."

Severus nodded without looking up.

"So what did Cuthbert say?" Alastor asked when Pomona had left.

"He made it very clear that he can remember every comment I ever made about his class and his teaching methods. I think he is very glad to have me in his clutches again, and he hopes you will punish me." There was no need to hide that fact because Severus knew Binns well enough to know that he would have made it very clear to Alastor what he wanted him to do.

"I decide for myself if and how I punish my sons."

"I'm not-"

"Don't finish that sentence, Severus. Still that reminds me of something we need to speak about."

"Alastor, we shouldn't just overlook the fact that Severus did not come back home and that Cuthbert had a problem with him."

"Poppy, half of the students fall asleep in his classes. You don't expect me to take that seriously, do you?" Alastor asked, puzzled.

"No, but I want you to take it seriously that Cuthbert is obviously taking advantage of his position against Severus now and that Severus hid from us."

"First, Cuthbert has every right to give Severus detention for sleeping in his class. Severus knows that. Until now, Cuthbert hasn't down anything out of line, and I don't think he will. Second, Severus is all right. He was a bit scared, but we cleared that up, haven't we?" Alastor asked in Severus' direction.

Severus nodded, looking insecure at Poppy.

Poppy sighed. "Well, I just hope you two really have straightened everything out. I want you to be back in our quarters after class, Severus. You can meet your friends afterward, but first I want to see you. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Severus said quickly, hoping this all would be over soon.

"Fine, now let's sit down and speak with them, Poppy." Alastor led his wife over to the couch on which Severus sat. "Come over here as well, Harry." Alastor waved Harry over and soon both boys were sitting between their guardians.

"We already told you that we took custody for you two. That means we are your guardians now. Unfortunately, Kingsley made us aware of a little problem."

"It's not just a little problem, Alastor," Poppy scolded her husband.

Alastor sighed. "Well, it is a big problem, boys. The Ministry isn't taking it well that we are hardly impressed by their threats and not even Kingsley can protect us from everything. There is a loop in the contract of being your guardians. They are working hard on getting you two out of our care."

Severus and Harry both looked shocked. Their worlds were breaking down around them again.

"Don't panic before I finish. As guardians, we won't be able to fight the Ministry completely, but if you two would agree to an adoption, we would be finally out of their reach. I know adoption sounds very big, but it wouldn't change anything between us. For us, you already are our sons; you two know that. You could also keep you names. It's just a sign under a parchment."

"But what if someone finds an antidote?" Severus asked.

Alastor and Poppy both looked confused at Severus. "Severus, do you have one of those headaches again? Do you feel strange?" Poppy asked.

"No, I'm fine."

"We already told you that there isn't an antidote, Severus." Alastor frowned at Severus.

"But they could still find one. Maybe later, in a year or so."

"No, they won't. We told you that the potion is too unstable to create an antidote. Nobody is even attempting to find one. It would be too dangerous. You need to grow up again, Severus. There is no other way." Alastor fixed his eyes on Severus. Why was he still hoping for an antidote? Two days ago, he seemed to have accepted it.

"I don't want to be a kid! I hate that everyone can make decisions for me. I hate it that I have to be afraid of the Ministry and Binns. I don't want to be a kid!" Alastor grabbed Severus before he could flee the room and pulled him down on his lap.

"Calm down, Severus." He pulled Severus tightly against his chest until the boy stopped struggling. "I know you are scared, but neither the Ministry nor Cuthbert will hurt you. We will make sure of that. I already told Cuthbert that I will not punish you for falling asleep in his class and that he should be careful of how much he lets his hurt ego influence his interactions with you. As for the Ministry, we can solve that problem with an adoption and godfathers for the two of you. Is that so bad?"

Severus shook his head. "No, but...I hate being a kid."

Alastor sighed and patted Severus' head. "I know, my boy, I know."

"What about you, Harry?" Poppy asked Harry and pulled him into a hug. "Would it be okay for us to adopt you?"

"I just want to keep my name."

"Of course, Harry. We would never think of forcing you to take ours."

Harry looked up, puzzled. "But you two have different names."

Poppy smiled. "Many families took that path during war, Harry. Alastor and I decided to keep our names different in public, but I have taken his name as mine on the papers."

"Oh, so you are Poppy Moody." Harry grinned. "That sounds funny."

Poppy raised an eyebrow. "Does it?"

Severus snickered in unison with Harry. "Yes, it does."

"I'm glad my name amuses you two. So, the adoption is settled?" She looked from one boy to the other. Both nodded.

"Then we need to talk about godfathers. You each need one in order to get the Ministry off completely. We already spoke with the two we would choose for you. Of course, you can still discuss it with us, and if you are against it, we will look for someone else." Alastor helped Severus to sit up a bit. "Kingsley would like to become your godfather, Severus. What do you think?"

"That is fine." As soon as he had said it, he laid down on Alastor's chest again. He knew it was childish, but it was so calming to lay there and listen to Alastor's heart beat.

"For you, we asked Remus, Harry." Poppy smiled at the mop of black hair that quickly nodded close beside her.

"That's great!" Harry said, excited.

/

"How was your detention?" Alastor asked when he came to say good night. He had not been there when Severus had come back because he was occupied with Kingsley.

"Okay," Severus said. "He was grumpy and made me write down what I missed. Then I had to write fifty lines. My hands hurt, but Poppy already put a salve on them, and I was allowed to skip my healing session with Maria."

Alastor frowned. "Severus, you need those sessions. You shouldn't be happy about skipping it."

"But it hurts, Alastor," Severus whined.

"I know, but it will become less painful after a few sessions. Running away from it won't make it better."

Severus sighed. "I know."

Alastor shook his head. "Things will become less stressful and confusing in a few weeks, Severus. Try to trust us. How was the training for Harry's potion?"

That made Severus more awake. "It went well." Severus leaned over to speak softly. "He doesn't like it, but I will take good care of him. I can apply the injections easily. I have an emergency kit with me all the time from now on."

"Big brother, ey?" Alastor ruffled Severus' hair.

"Yes," Severus said proudly and ignored the hair-ruffling.

"Good, then you two should sleep. Tomorrow is a long day again. I hope I will finally find the time to speak with Draco. I feel bad for having no time for him."

"Will he come back?"

"I still need to speak with him and Albus. I will at least try to arrange for you to meet with him."

Severus smiled. When Alastor tried to stand up, the young wizard grabbed his hand and pulled him back on the bed again. "Alastor? I...I wanted to..."

"What is it, Severus?" Alastor asked, worried by Severus' behavior.

"About that name changing...I..."

"We already told you that you can keep your name, Severus. What's the problem? Did you forget already?" Alastor let his magical eye roam over Severus.

"No, I didn't forget, but..." Severus quickly looked over to Harry and was relieved that he was occupied by Poppy. "Iwouldliketochangeit."

"Excuse me?"

Severus groaned. "I would like to change it, Alastor."

For a moment, Alastor was stunned. His magical eye was the only part of his body that was moving because it twitched almost unnoticeable. "You want to assume my name?"

"It was stupid. I'm sorry. Good night, Alastor." Severus turned around so Alastor would not see his red face. How could I have been so stupid as to say it aloud?

"Severus," Alastor said and laid his hand on Severus' shoulder. "Come on, turn around again."

Severus did not budge. He was too embarrassed.

Alastor sighed. "Severus, I would be honored if you would assume my name. I was just a bit surprised. As an adult, you always seemed to be very proud of your name."

"It's the name of my father and of a Death-Eater," Severus said bitterly.

"That's not entirely true, Severus. It also is the name of a war hero and a man I'm very proud to have known."

"I don't want that name anymore. I hate it."

"Do you notice that you use the word 'hate' very often, Severus?"

Severus groaned and turned around to look at Alastor. "You are not the first one to notice that."

"Then you should think about it, my boy."

"Please let me change my name to yours, Alastor. Since you told us about the adoption, I can't think about anything else. It would make me belong here."

"You belong here with or without my name, Severus. I'm a bit worried that you will regret this decision later. When you were an adult, you were very independent and-"

"But I'm no longer an adult! You told me so, and you told me there is no hope of turning back."

"But you will get older, and then maybe you will regret giving up your name completely. No, no more protest," Alastor said when he saw Severus taking a quick breath to argue. "I have an offer for you. You can keep both names. There are three ways. You could choose a double name: 'Moody-Snape' or 'Snape-Moody.' Another choice would be to combine your name and mine without a hyphen. The first last name would just be there on papers. You could sign with it in combination with the second last name, but not without it." Seeing Severus confused face, he explained it differently. "Okay, for example, Severus Snape Moody. You could sign with 'Snape Moody' or just 'Moody' and it would be legal. The only thing that would not work would be signing with just 'Snape.' That would not be legal. People will address you as Severus Moody. If you switch the two last names, it will be the other way around."

"A double name is stupid. It's as if I'm married to you," Severus said and screwed his face.

Alastor grinned. "What an idea."

Severus glared at his guardian. "Why not just Moody, Alastor?"

"Because I think you are trying to run away from something, Severus. It's not healthy. Like I already said, it would make me very proud if you would choose my name, but I still want you to remain a Snape as well because you can be proud of being a Snape. A combination will be the best solution." He looked seriously at Severus.

"Fine, you win. Then it will be 'Snape Moody,' but you need to tell all the teachers to address me as 'Moody' when the adoption is through."

"Now I see. You just want to annoy your teachers." Alastor grinned.

"No, but it is a welcome side effect," Severus said, smirking.

-II-

"A double name is stupid. It's as if I'm married to you," Severus said and screwed his face.

Alastor grinned. "What an idea."

Severus glared at his guardian. "Why not just Moody, Alastor?"

"Because I think you are trying to run away from something, Severus. It's not healthy. Like I already said, it would make me very proud if you would choose my name, but I still want you to remain a Snape as well because you can be proud of being a Snape. A combination will be the best solution." He looked seriously at Severus.

"Fine, you win. Then it will be 'Snape Moody,' but you need to tell all the teachers to address me as 'Moody' when the adoption is through."

"Now I see. You just want to annoy your teachers." Alastor grinned.

"No, but it is a welcome side effect," Severus said, smirking.

Severus sighed. "Yes, Poppy."

-II-

"Are you all right, Harry?"

"Hmm."

What about your hand?"

"Fine."

"And your lungs?"

"..."

"Harry?"

"I don't like this, Sev. I hate that others can just stick a syringe into my stomach."

"It's not a syringe, Harry. It's just that small stick with a very small needle, and it will help you when you are too far into an asthma attack."

"How would you feel if you were me and I had to run around with that stick to push it into your stomach as soon as you have problems?"

"I don't know. It sounds bad the way you say it. I don't run around and wait for you to have difficulty breathing. You have the applicator, and I will try to remind you to use it as soon as you sound strange or are out of breath. James and Maria explained that all. Maybe I'll never have to use the emergency stick."

"Yeah."

"Come on, Harry, I was once a Potions Master, and James said I was very good with the stick. I promise to try to help in time for you to use your applicator. Stop worrying so much about it."

"Okay," Harry said and sighed. He turned around to look at Severus. His eyes had gotten used to the darkness, and so he could see Severus looking back at him. "How are you? I mean, what do you think about the adoption?"

Severus shrugged. "I don't really know. My head hurts, and it still feels as if it is stuffed with cotton wool. I think I...I like the adoption. I asked Alastor to change my name."

"Really?" Harry asked, surprised, and sat up.

"You sound as surprised as Alastor. Why is it so surprising?"

"Because you always were so proud to be...Snape. I cannot imagine you with any other name."

"I can. Very easily. I'm sick of Professor Snape and Snape, the Death-Eater, and Snape, the git of the dungeons."

"What about Snape, the war hero, or Snape, who invented a lot of helpful potions?"

Severus groaned and turned on his back. "That's over. I'm a stupid student again, and I will never be able to be a Potions Master again. All my education and my titles have been taken away from me. I have to start anew."

"But your potions are still your potions. Nobody can take them away from you, Severus. And who says you won't become a Potions Master again? You just have to study Potions again."

"Let's stop talking about it, Harry. I'm tired," Severus said sadly and turned away from Harry.

"Is there something you haven't told me, Sev?" Harry asked, worried.

Severus did not answer.

"Severus, please don't do that. You ask me to accept your help with my asthma, but you just ignore me when I ask you a question?"

Severus sighed. "Maria said something about my magic, Harry. I just don't want to talk about it. It hurts, and I would like to forget it." Tears came again, and when Harry crawled behind him and hugged him, he let them free and told Harry everything Maria had told him.

"They don't even know for sure how things will develop. Maybe your magic core will become really big now that you are still growing. And even if your core has problems reproducing magic, it can balance it out. Don't worry so much."

"Potions are my life, Harry. Even now I can feel it, and I still think about a potion anytime I see a plant or a flower."

"Then we will find a way. I could give you magic when you need to refill your core and maybe later there will be someone else to give you magic without making a big deal out of it. Someone like Jessica."

Severus could feel Harry grin behind him and elbowed him. "Very funny, Harry."

Harry chuckled. "The whole school is talking about the two of you."

"Fantastic."

"Kingsley and Remus are coming over tomorrow after they sign the papers at the Ministry. Isn't it cool? I'm so glad that Remus will be my godfather. What do you think about Kingsley?"

"I think he will be a good godfather. I mean, Charlie is too young, and he always was more like a younger brother. He isn't like Kingsley, more carefree and funny. Kingsley is more serious, sometimes even too serious for my taste, but I feel safe around him. He is the Minister himself, I mean. He will get me out of anything."

"What about Tonks?"

"Tonks? Are you mad? She is even more childish than Charlie."

"To me, they are not a bit childish at all. Funny, yes, but childish?"

Severus sighed. "Maybe that wasn't the right description, but they are just not Kingsley. It's different with him."

"I think I know what you mean. He radiates power like Alastor and Professor Dumbledore. Charlie and Tonks are more fun, but they still look out for you. It must be odd to be so much younger when you are around them."

"It's odd but...it's as if it had never been different. I feel that I can trust them and that I know them very well, but it's as if I've always been younger than them. I can't remember how it feels to be the same age."

"Hmm."

"You are tired. We should go to sleep."

There came no reply, and Severus groaned. "Great, a living teddy bear."

/

"It's so unfair that he can still sleep. I want to have a free period in the morning as well." Severus looked grumpily at Poppy after he had downed his nutrient potion.

"Therefore you only have two classes tomorrow, Severus. Since when do you want to sleep in?"

"I don't want to. It's just not fair that he doesn't have to go to class now."

"You make absolutely no sense, Severus. You need a hot chocolate to wake up completely."

"Hmpf."

"Why the long face again, my son?" Alastor asked.

"Harry gets to sleep in."

"Ah, I see." Alastor lean over to his wife and kissed her. "Remember, from tomorrow on you can torture your teachers with your new name."

Severus blushed. He had not told Poppy yet, but of course Alastor would have spoken with her already.

Poppy smiled. "Yes, it will be quite troublesome for them to call you 'Mr. Moody.'"

"You haven't changed your mind, have you?" Alastor asked.

"No, I haven't. I need to go. Bye." He was out of the room before anyone could say something else.

/

"Hey, Severus, wait!" Harry ran over to Severus. "How...was...Potions?" Harry gasped.

"Your applicator, Harry. Use it now. You shouldn't have run," Severus scolded.

Harry fumbled for his applicator and breathed deeply after he had used it.

"So, how was Potions?"

Severus shrugged. "Okay, but Charlie must have spoken with Oliver because he did almost all the work. It's as if I'm an invalid. I don't know why they even force me to go to school if they know I'm useless."

"Stop that. You aren't useless. You just need time."

"Lie to someone who doesn't know it better," Severus said grumpily and climbed up the ladder to the tower.

/

"Next week a new professor will arrive. He will take over your Tuesday Defense Against the Dark Arts classes. He is an expert from India and knows a lot about Defense Magic. He will be able to teach you some methods that Professor Moody and I aren't able to. He may even teach you some offensive magic if you show respect and study hard. Your work ethic and your enthusiasm will decide about how much he will teach you. Professor Montanasi will come to Hogwarts next Monday, and he might stay for the rest of the year. The fact that he has offered to teach you is an act of good will towards the school. He is coming primarily to teach at the College of London. As his student, Hamid, is your age, he wants him to attend school here during his stay in Great Britain. I hope you will all give him a warm welcome."

"A new professor? I hope he isn't as scary as Professor Moody," Lorenzo said to his neighbor.

"Yes, it's bad enough that we have Moody each time around the full moon," Jason answered.

Both threw a short glance over to Harry, who glared at them. Harry disliked his classmates. They were so immature.

Harry loved Defense Against the Dark Arts, no matter if it was with Remus or Alastor. He just hoped the new professor would not be a problem like so many of his former Defense teachers.

/

"Neville will be here in a minute, Severus. Please come with me to greenhouse three." Pomona led Severus out of greenhouse one were his classmates and he had taken care of the moonflowers for the last two hours.

Severus was nervous. Neville Longbottom was a pain in his...for the last few years. He did not know how to feel about meeting him now that he was younger than the other boy. Would Neville use his advantage to pay him back for all the hours Severus had made his life miserable?

"What's wrong, Severus?" Pomona asked, turning him to face her. He was pale, even more pale than normal and he looked scared.

"I...Neville..."

"Neville is a very mature boy, Severus. He will not judge you for your behavior against him. I spoke with him about it. You are a different Severus now, and he promised to see you just as Severus the new club member, not Severus Snape the former Potions Master."

Severus gulped. He wished he could believe her, but it was hard. They could hear steps coming closer over the wet grass as they stood outside greenhouse three. "Ah, Neville, there you are, my boy," Pomona greeted the brown haired sixth-year.

Neville nodded to the professor and then fixed his eyes on Severus.

Severus gulped and did not dare to move. He hated himself for being so weak.

"Hello, Se...Severus. I heard you wanted to join our club. I lead the club when Professor Sprout is busy. I thought it would be better if we talked a bit before you join us tomorrow. It would help to know how much you remember so I know how much I have to watch and help you. In our section of greenhouse three we have plants that are normally not allowed to be handled by second years. Therefore, I need to know how good you are in handling them."

Severus stared at Neville. Pictures of a clumsy boy, shivering in fear ran through his mind and were not matching the image of the boy-no, young man-that was standing in front of him now.

"Maybe we should go inside and I'll show you our section. You can tell me if you remember the plants and how to handle them." Neville gestured to the entrance of the greenhouse.

Severus looked at Pomona, but she just smiled reassuringly at him and gestured with her head to follow Neville. So Severus followed.

After half an hour, Severus was feeling much more relaxed around Neville. It seemed the boy really was trying to forget their past and was even a bit excited about Severus' enthusiasm to learn more. In the end they both parted, looking forward to the next day's Herbology Club meeting.

/

"Hey!" Harry said cheerfully from the coffee table on which he had spread his Charms homework.

"Hey," Severus said and slumped down on the couch. "Charms?"

"Yes, we still need to write the essay about Cleaning Spells."

Severus groaned. "I was in a good mood."

Harry grinned.

"Do you know when Kingsley and Remus are coming?"

"Remus said around four, so we still have an hour for homework."

"Someone home already?"

"No, I think they are still at the Ministry. Some strange nurse was in the infirmary when I came home and checked if Poppy was there."

"Oh, blonde hair, around thirty, with high heels?"

"Yes," Harry said suspiciously.

"Poppy hates her. That was Cindy. She is always flirting with Alastor when she is around."

"But she's...young!"

"Yes, but maybe she fancies old, dangerous men."

"You are making fun of me."

"No."

Harry frowned. "Then why is she here?"

"Because she is the only one St. Mungo's will send here. I think they are glad to be rid of her for some time."

"It's good that Alastor isn't here then. Let's do homework."

"I just came back from classes." Severus leaned back.

"And? We need to do it now, Sev. Our godfathers are coming in an hour, and James and Maria are coming in two hours."

"You definitely spend too much time around Poppy. I won't do the homework. Why should I? It's useless. I only go to school here until Christmas. I don't care if Flitwick is mad if I don't have my homework."

"Maybe you don't care if Flitwick is mad, but I'm sure you care if Poppy and Alastor are mad. I'm sure they will be informed if you refuse to work in classes and do no homework."

Severus glared at Harry. "I don't need another person to tell me what to do. You are still younger than me. I'm going to sleep. Bye." Before Harry could protest, Severus was out of the room.

Forty minutes later, Harry came into their room. "I'm done."

"Fantastic. They will be so proud of you," Severus said, annoyed.

"You are a git."

"Nothing new."

Harry threw himself on his bed. "Remus said we are getting a new teacher next week."

"New teacher? Why? Which class?" Severus turned to face Harry.

"For Defense, of course. Remus said the new professor will teach in London but will teach us once a week. I'm sure he will teach your class as well. He will come with a student who will go to school at Hogwarts."

"A student? Wait, what was the name of the professor?"

"I can't remember. The name was weird."

Severus held his head. It was hurting again. A picture of an old man with dark skin and white hair was forming in his mind. He had a pointed beard and many wrinkles. "Damn, it hurts."

"Shall I call someone?"

"No!"

"Severus, you are in pain."

"It's getting better already. I just think I remember him. It's an old friend of Alastor's and they spoke about him coming eventually this year. I...I once met him. He is very mysterious. He does not speak much, but he always eyes you oddly."

"He doesn't sound very friendly. Do you think he will be trouble?"

"He is one of Alastor's friends, so he can't be too dangerous, but it will be odd around him and if he brings a student with him, the guy will be even odder, I guess. I just hope they won't stay here like last time."

Harry shrugged. "I will worry about it when the time comes. You should worry about Flitwick."

"Phew."

The door opened and Kingsley and Remus stepped in. "Mr. Potter, Mr...Moody." Kingsley grinned teasingly at Severus.

"The adoption is complete?" Harry asked, excited.

"Yes. Did you have any doubt?" Remus asked as he ruffled Harry's hair. He turned to Severus. "I fear I'll have to try hard to remember to call you Mr. Moody from now on."

"You'd better try, because I won't listen to anyone calling me 'Snape' from now on."

Remus chuckled.

"How was school?" Kingsley asked Severus.

"Bad, as always. But it will only be a few more weeks until Christmas and then it is all over."

"You will still have to go to school after Christmas, Severus. Alastor just said he would look for another way to teach you."

"It's useless. I won't ever be able to use magic correctly, Kingsley. I hate that you all always have to pretend that everything will be all right. Nothing is right. I will never be able to become a Potions Master again and I won't even be able to finish school," Severus yelled and the hid his face in his bed covers.

Kingsley did not know what to say and looked at Remus for help.

"Severus, you just need time. It's normal that you have problems during the first weeks. You need to be patient. Your magical system needs to rebuild itself."

"Then you should all leave me alone and not force me to attend classes."

Remus shook his head sadly. "But attending classes will help you to learn to use magic and that helps your magical system to rebuild quicker."

"I don't care. I hate going to school."

"I think we will leave you to alone now, Severus," Remus said. "Try to not think too much about it. Things will become easier in a few weeks." He turned to Harry. "I'm glad to be your godfather, Harry. Come over this weekend. We could go flying."

Harry smiled and nodded.

-II-

Kingsley did not know what to say and looked at Remus for help.

"Severus, you just need time. It's normal that you have problems during the first weeks. You need to be patient. Your magical system needs to rebuild itself."

"Then you should all leave me alone and not force me to attend classes."

Remus shook his head sadly. "But attending classes will help you to learn to use magic and that helps your magical system to rebuild quicker."

"I don't care. I hate going to school."

"I think we will leave you to alone now, Severus," Remus said. "Try to not think too much about it. Things will become easier in a few weeks." He turned to Harry. "I'm glad to be your godfather, Harry. Come over this weekend. We could go flying."

Harry smiled and nodded.

-II-

"I hate Friday mornings."

"You hate all mornings, Sev."

"Hmpf."

When they came into the living room, Alastor was raking the fire. "Ah, boys. Poppy is already at work. Remember that we need to leave for the Ministry at five. Severus, come back as soon as the Herbology Club meeting is over."

"Yes," Severus said, still grumpy.

"Bad morning again? I'm sure Poppy left you and Harry some hot chocolate beside your nutrient potion in the kitchen."

Severus rolled his eyes.

"Don't do that, Severus. Oh, before I forget, I know we promised to make your old room a study room for the two of you, but now that Radgarid and Hamid are coming, I hoped you would agree to give the room to Radgarid, and Hamid will get the small guestroom. What do you two say?"

"He is creepy." Severus covered his mouth after that had slipped past.

Alastor raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"I...I remember him. He was odd." Severus blushed under Alastor's gaze.

"He is an old friend. You hardly got to know him, Severus. He asked to stay here with us. I would feel bad asking him to get a different room at Hogwarts instead." Alastor looked seriously at Severus.

Severus pulled a face. "But he stays for the whole year. It's awkward enough to live in this form here, and now there will be one or even two more people looking oddly at me."

"Severus, Hamid doesn't even know you, and Radgarid will not look oddly at you as long as you don't behave oddly."

Severus sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Why do you even ask if it is already decided?"

"Who says it's decided, Severus?" Alastor checked the clock. "We don't have time to discuss this now. Let's talk again this evening."

"If I'm not in Azkaban by then," Severus muttered on his way to the kitchen. He flinched when a hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

"Is this your normal morning grumpiness or is something troubling you?" Alastor asked, not lifting his hand from Severus shoulder.

"I'm all right," Severus protested and tried to get rid of Alastor's hand.

"Stop that, Severus, and look at me when you talk to me."

Severus sighed and obeyed.

"What's wrong?" Alastor asked, worried.

"Nothing. I need to drink my potion, Alastor."

Alastor looked at Severus for another moment, but then let him go. "We will speak later."

"What are you doing? The Charms classroom is down that hall."

"Who cares? I'm not going." Severus tried to go up the stairs, but Harry grabbed his arm.

"What are you talking about? Do you want to get in trouble? It's bad enough you didn't do the homework, but if they find out you skipped class, they will be furious."

"Like you said, I don't have my homework so I will be in trouble anyway."

"Stop being stupid." Harry forcefully pulled Severus with him to the classroom. "You heard Remus. You just needed to be patient, and then your magic will be back."

"That's just a stalling tactic. Nobody thinks I will ever be able to use magic correctly again. Harry, I can feel it. Nothing works. My hands are crap, my magic is crap, and I can't even regain my magic like everyone else. Going to classes is torture."

"I never considered my class to be torture, Mr. Moody. I think we should talk about this after class," Professor Flitwick said from behind Severus.

"There is nothing to talk about," Severus said rebelliously.

"We will see after class, Mr. Moody. Now, please go into the classroom." Professor Flitwick gestured Severus to the open door. His small body was blocking Severus' escape route by a magical power that surrounded the Charms professor invisibly.

Severus glared at Professor Flitwick, but he obeyed.

At the beginning of the class, the professor asked for their essays. As he did not get one from Severus, he looked questioningly at him.

"Ehm, he forgot it at home, but we did it together yesterday, sir," Harry said.

"No, I didn't do it." Severus glared daggers at Harry. Then he turned to the professor, his face still in an angry grimace. "I didn't do it because it's useless."

The students around them were dead silent and some gaped at him.

"We will speak about that after class as well, Mr. Moody."

Severus glared. He hated that Flitwick was not reacting to his behavior like he had hoped he would.

After class, Harry threw worried looks at Severus. Professor Flitwick called Oliver over to him and gave him a note for Professor Lupin about Severus' absence in his next class.

"Let's go into my office, Severus," Filius said when they were finally alone.

The moment the small wizard addressed Severus by his first name, he felt bad for his behavior. With his head hanging, he followed his former co-worker.

"What was that all about, Severus?" Professor Flitwick asked when they were seated in his office. "Severus, please talk with me," the professor added when Severus just stared at his hands.

"It's useless. I know I will never be able to use magic like I used to before. I wish I had never come back after that day the Dark Lord tortured me."

"Severus, you are alive. Alastor and Poppy love you like a son, and Harry loves you like a brother. You are a wizard, and you will learn to use magic. Maybe not like before, but you will learn. You just need to be patient, which is feature you always lacked."

"You are lying. Look, it doesn't work!" Severus grabbed his wand and swung it around wildly.

Filius took Severus' hand in both his smaller ones. "Stop, Severus." He looked sadly at the boy. "Your magic channels are still rebuilding. It's normal that you can't use your wand like you wish you could. Still, it is important for you to go to school and learn. I know you pressure yourself too much and that you feel embarrassed in front of your classmates for not being able to use magic perfectly, but you need the practice!"

"I can practice at home." Severus looked away miserably.

Flitwick shook his head sadly. "That would not be enough. All the magic around you is affecting you. The more you are around students the same age, the better. Their magic is stimulating your magic core to build new channels and reconnect the old destroyed ones."

Severus bit his lip. They had no idea how frustrating this was, how useless and helpless he felt.

"Can I trust you to go to Defense Against the Dark Arts now, Severus?"

Severus nodded. He wanted to get out of the room. He could not stand it. He was helpless against his professors who thought he was able to do this and that it was helping him.

"Then go. I await your essay on Tuesday, Severus."

"Yes, sir."

Severus went to Defense, and he tried to work hard for Jessica. She made him feel a little better.

The meeting at the Ministry went without problems. All of Harry's and Severus' fears were unjust. The day even ended very happily because Severus was informed that he would be able to spend Saturday afternoon with Draco and Harry was allowed to stay with Remus. Alastor did not try to restart his conversation from that morning and Severus' physical therapy was not as bad as the other times. Best of all, Alastor and Poppy seemed to have no idea about his homework problem and his talk with Filius.

"Potter," Draco sneered at Harry.

"Malfoy," Harry sneered back.

"Boys, behave!" Alastor said warningly. "Severus, you can show Draco your room."

Severus stood awkwardly beside the couch and eyed Draco. When Draco's eyes fell on Severus, he looked stunned at him. "Wow, you look...thin."

Severus rolled his eyes and turned around.

"Hey, woah, Uncle Sev. I'm sorry."

"I'll show you my room," Severus said without turning around.

"It's my room as well," Harry mumbled, but Alastor's hand on his shoulder made him stop.

"Remus is waiting for you in his quarters. Be back at five."

Harry nodded and stepped into the fireplace.

"So...how shall I address you?"

"Severus, I think."

"I was allowed to call you Sev as an adult."

Severus rolled his eyes and flopped down on his bed. "If you insist."

Draco looked around. "Nice room. You have to share it with Potter?"

"Call him Harry."

"But he's Potter."

"He is my brother."

"He is not."

"He is." Severus glared at Draco, but then remembered how close he was to Draco. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I know, you asked me several times before to stop that behavior. It's just weird, and hey, he is responsible for all this trouble, isn't he?"

"No, I should have payed more attention."

Draco snorted. "Typical that you blame yourself." He sat down on Harry's bed. "So how are you?"

Severus was surprised at how good it felt to talk with Draco, and so he told him everything. From his problems in class over what happened with the Gryffindors and his fear of never being able to perform decent spells."

"If Flitwick says it helps to practice and be around magic, I think you should do it. You'll be able to get your magic back faster. When I'm back here, I'll help you. We can learn together."

Severus groaned. "You don't understand. You are like them. I know...I can feel that I won't be able to perform magic correctly ever again. Do you know how it feels to try and do magic and feel it suddenly stop before it gets to your wand? It's scary."

"I can imagine, Sev, but trusting their judgment is everything we can do right now."

"Great, you are one of them."

"I don't want to go to school anymore!" Severus yelled at Alastor and did not see the fireplace flare green. "I'm a useless freak. Here, look!" He waved his wand like he had done in Filius' office. He had used the same arguments during his fifteen minute discussion with Poppy and Alastor about his ongoing attending of classes. "There is nothing right about my magical system. It's destroyed. I'm a Squib. A useless piece of scum."

"That's enough!" Alastor bellowed. His eyes were sparkling with anger and only Severus' flinch made them soften.

A throat was cleared and suddenly all the attention was on the two persons in front of the fireplace. One was an old man of Alastor's figure and the other was a very thin boy of Harry's height with dark skin and dark hair. His eyes were almost black. "Is this a bad time?" the white-haired man asked.

Alastor breathed deeply. "No, Radgarid, Severus and I had just a little dispute. I didn't think you would come so early."

"We could come back later," the old man offered, fixing Severus with his eyes so the boy fidgeted nervously.

"Don't be silly, Radgarid," Poppy said and went over to greet the old wizard and his young charge. "The dispute is already over. Severus knows he has to go to school tomorrow, don't you, Severus?" She looked warningly at Severus, who blushed in embarrassment and anger.

"Severus?" Poppy asked again. Now the warning was not hidden by her tone.

"But-"

"No 'buts,' Severus. You agreed to try it until Christmas."

Severus groaned and let his head hang. "All right."

"Good, now let's all sit down and drink some tea."

Hamid didn't speak much; only when spoken to. Radgarid explained that he was very shy and still had problems finding new friends as he had been very isolated before Radgarid had taken him under his wing. Hamid was an orphan.

Harry was fascinated by the silent boy. Something was very interesting about him, but Harry could not put a finger on what it was.

Radgarid, meanwhile, was staring at Severus more and more, and Severus felt very uncomfortable. "Do you still remember me, Severus?"

Severus nodded, but did not dare to look at the old man.

"Then why are you scared of me?"

Severus gulped and blushed even more. "Can I go to my room?" Severus asked and looked at Alastor.

"Radgarid was asking you a question, Severus. Since when do you not have manners?" Alastor asked, confused.

"Don't be so harsh on him, Alastor." Radgarid stopped Alastor from making Severus even more uncomfortable. Then he looked at Severus. "If you feel uncomfortable in my presence, you can, of course, leave, but as we plan to live here for the school year, I think it would be better if we got rid of any problems you might have with me. We were civil last time I saw you, so I'm a bit surprised at your discomfort now."

"I was just good at hiding my feelings back then," Severus mumbled.

"Ah, I see. So what makes you uncomfortable?"

"You seem to try to read my thoughts."

Radgarid eyed Severus seriously. "Is there something bad I could find in your thoughts?"

Severus gulped again and shyly looked up. Then he shrugged.

"I'm not reading your thoughts, Severus. I'm just fascinated by your magic. Your aura is very unique."

"My magic? You can see magic?" Severus looked hopefully at the old man.

"Of course, I can. I'm an aura reader. I can see a huge magic field around you."

"Really?" Severus heart stopped for a moment. He still had magic? And it was a large amount of magic that intrigued the old wizard? "But... my magic was destroyed."

"No, it's hasn't. Your old system of using your magic is destroyed, but not your magic itself. When I first met you, I could see a great powerful aura, but it was somehow restrained. I wondered if you had put up the restraints yourself. Now they are gone and your aura is clearer. Not as powerful as before, but still magnificent."

Hope. Finally, hope. Severus felt so light, and he felt the corners of his mouth go up without being able to prevent it.

"I fear our journey was a bit tiring. Hamid especially needs rest before his first school day tomorrow. It would be best if we retire."

Poppy showed them there rooms, and Alastor ordered his boys to use the bathroom and get ready for bed as well.

-II-

"My magic? You can see magic?" Severus looked hopefully at the old man.

"Of course, I can. I'm an aura reader. I can see a huge magic field around you."

"Really?" Severus heart stopped for a moment. He still had magic? And it was a large amount of magic that intrigued the old wizard? "But... my magic was destroyed."

"No, it's hasn't. Your old system of using your magic is destroyed, but not your magic itself. When I first met you, I could see a great powerful aura, but it was somehow restrained. I wondered if you had put up the restraints yourself. Now they are gone and your aura is clearer. Not as powerful as before, but still magnificent."

Hope. Finally, hope. Severus felt so light, and he felt the corners of his mouth go up without being able to prevent it.

"I fear our journey was a bit tiring. Hamid especially needs rest before his first school day tomorrow. It would be best if we retire."

Poppy showed them there rooms, and Alastor ordered his boys to use the bathroom and get ready for bed as well.

-II-

Hamid went up to Professor McGonagall calmly. He was not afraid. He did not need anyone. Learning with his master was all he was interested in. Master Radgarid wanted him to attend this school, and that was the only reason he stepped towards that old hat in the professor's hand. At least that was what he was telling himself.

"Ah, what an interesting mind, telling yourself that you need nobody. But your heart is looking so desperately for someone to befriend."

"I have my master. That's all I need."

"No, my boy, you need much more, and I know exactly the house where you will find what you need. Gryffindor!" The last part was shouted out loud and the Hat was lifted of Hamid's head.

Professor McGonagall was smiling at Hamid and gestured him to sit down at the Gryffindor table.

With an emotionless expression on his face, he went over to the table. He did not need friends, and those children here were much too noisy for him. They looked at him as if he had two heads. He looked at Harry. The boy was waving his hand frantically for him to come over to him. This morning he had gotten to know Severus and Harry better because he was using their bathroom. Severus seemed to be calm like him. Grumpy, but calm. Harry was friendly and tried to hold a conversation with him. It seemed he was a very social boy, and so Hamid was surprised at how much Harry's behavior changed the closer they had come to the Great Hall. He seemed to feel very uncomfortable around the other students.

Hamid went over to Harry. It could not hurt to have someone at his side who knew were to go. Harry had made room for him to sit down.

"These are my friends, Neville, Ron, Hermione, and Dean. They are all sixth years."

Hamid nodded politely at the people that were introduced, but he did not care for their names. He would do this all alone. Harry could be helpful for the first days, but all in all, he hoped they would let him be.

"So, you are from India? How is school over there?" Hermione asked.

"We are mostly home-schooled or choose a master to teach us," Hamid said curtly and then looked away in hope the girl would stop asking him questions.

"Hamid doesn't like to speak much. Give him some time to adjust, Hermione, before you bombard him with all your questions," Harry said, smiling insecurely first at Hermione and then at Hamid. Hermione looked puzzled back at Harry, but Hamid nodded thankfully at him.

"Why are you so different outside with others?" Hamid asked on their way to History of Magic.

"Different?"

"You are insecure and try to avoid the other students."

"Oh, haven't they told you? Severus and I had a de-aging accident. Only two weeks ago, I was sixteen and Severus was my Potions Master."

Hamid stopped and looked surprised at Harry. "You were de-aged? So you still have all your old memories?"

"Yes, but some are a bit shaken and confused. Some are placed far in the back of my mind, but I'm luckier than Severus. His mind suppressed more memories to be able to function and he has headaches from it. He was very hurt before the accident and had lost a big part of his magic. His magical system was destroyed by Voldemort. You know about Voldemort?"

"Yes, Master Radgarid has told me about it. You both are war heroes, but he didn't mention that you were de-aged. That's interesting. A bit like reincarnation. All the hidden knowledge in your head is still there. It must be odd to know a spell theoretically, but to not be able to use that knowledge correctly. Amazing!" Hamid looked fascinated at Harry.

"I don't think it's that fascinating. More frightening, and sometimes even annoying. All my classmates...they are annoying. I feel older than them. I don't like them, and they look at me as if I'm still my older self." Harry sighed. "I'm really glad you are in my class now."

"I hope you won't be disappointed. I'm not used to communicating much. Master Radgarid is often scolding me for it, but I like to be alone."

Harry's face fell. Severus was already so calm and broody and never started a conversation on his own. Now Hamid would be another one who felt his talking was annoying.

"Don't look like that. I...maybe I will make an exception for you. It could bring me further in my training. Master Radgarid says communication is necessary to reach a higher level."

Harry had no idea what Hamid was talking about. He sounded like an adult in the body of a teen. In a weird way, Hamid fit in perfect with the weird friendship between Severus and Harry.

Finally, Harry had someone who sat beside him without gaping all the time at him. Hamid was very intelligent and quickly understood what the teachers wanted from him. Harry was surprised. In Transfiguration, Harry had been miserable because he was sharing a table with Severus and now had to tell Hamid that he could not sit by him. "Ehm, Hamid, I can't share a table with you in the next class. Severus is there as well because we have Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. Severus has some difficulty, and it wouldn't be fair to let him-"

"Calm down, Harry. I don't care if I have to sit on my own. Sit with you brother." Hamid sat down in a free chair beside a Ravenclaw girl and did not look disappointed. Harry relaxed, but seeing Severus' grumpy expression changed it quickly. "What's wrong, Sev?"

"Nothing." Severus avoided looking at Harry.

"Great," Harry mumbled and got his book out. There was no time to ask Severus more questions as Professor McGonagall came into the classroom.

Hamid watched Severus and Harry unobtrusively. He was wondering about Severus' problems. He had only gleaned a little about the situation from what he had seen and heard yesterday and this morning. The long-haired boy seemed to be very frustrated, and Hamid saw that he was getting angrier at himself. Hamid know that feeling and behavior very well. Before Master Radgarid had taken him under his wing, he had been like Severus. He had been angry at himself and the whole world for making his life so hard for him. He had survived a fire, but at great cost. His whole family had died and he had been badly burned. His lungs were damaged, and he had been unable to use magic for the next two years due to shock. Only Master Radgarid was able to help him use his magic again and find a new will to live. Maybe his master could help Severus as well. He seemed to be a nice person. His time at Hogwarts could be very interesting.

/

Nervously, Severus waited for Alastor or Poppy to come out of the Great Hall after lunch. He did not feel well and he hoped they would show pity and allow him to skip his last class. Even though Care of Magical Creatures was one of the few classes Severus liked, he was sick of school. First, Potions was a disaster because he had gotten into a fight with Charlie over not being allowed to prepare the ingredients, and then Transfigration had been horrible as well. He had not been able to perform the spell they learned and it frustrated him to no end. At the moment, he hated magic.

Severus had snapped at Oliver and Alicia until they had given up getting him into the Great Hall for lunch. So now he was standing outside the Great Hall, knowing he would be in trouble for not showing up for lunch and nevertheless waiting eagerly for his adoptive parents to show up.

A few minutes later, Alastor came through the huge doors and stopped in his tracks, seeing his son. "What's going on, Severus? Why aren't you inside eating?" He stepped closer to the dark-haired boy but stopped when he saw Severus back away.

"I...I was waiting for you or Poppy."

"You could have come in to speak to us." Alastor let his magical eye roam over Severus' body.

Severus shook his head. "I don't feel well. I wanted to ask you to let me skip Magical Creatures to go home and sleep."

Alastor frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel well," Severus repeated.

"You already told me that. I meant why are you feeling unwell? Minerva said you had problems in class, and I heard rumors about you and Charlie arguing."

Severus paled even more and looked with big fearful eyes at Alastor.

"Okay, go home, but call James or Maria via Floo immediately. I want them to check you through. You should talk with them about your problems in class. Can I trust you to do so?" Alastor finally stepped close enough to lay his hand on Severus' shoulder and then was surprised by the boy's sudden change of mood when Severus hugged him and started to cry. "Maybe it's better if I bring you home."

Severus shook his head while his face was still buried in his father's robes. "I can go alone. I'm sorry." When he pulled away, Alastor cupped his cheeks.

"Severus, we will talk when my last class is over, okay? Will you be all right until then? Poppy is at St. Mungo's."

"I will be fine. I just want to sleep a bit."

"Fine. Go home then." Alastor followed Severus worriedly with his eyes as he made his way home with slumped shoulders.

Severus was glad that he could hold his tears back until he was very close to their quarters. Getting his old nickname Snivellus back was the last thing he wanted. When he stepped in the living room, he stopped in his tracks. On the couch hunched over some old parchments was Radgarid, and now he was looking up at Severus' tear-stained face. "What's wrong, Severus?

Severus was paralyzed from shock and fear. He did not want Radgarid to see him so weak. This was embarrassing enough. He could not say anything and stood there, motionless.

"Come over here, Severus." Radharid waved his big hand. When Severus' feet obeyed without him being able to fight it, Radgarid asked," Does Alastor know you are here?"

Severus nodded. "He allowed me to come back."

"Well, then sit down and tell me what happened."

Who knew what the old man was able to use on Severus wandlessly, but Severus started telling him everything. His problems with school, his fear of being a Squib, and his wish to never have to go to class again.

"You cannot run away from yourself and your own magic, Severus. Your mind is working against your magic." Radgarid tapped Severus' forehead. "You won't be able to perform magic if you are scared of it."

"I'm not scared. I want to be able to use my magic, but I can't." He pulled his wand out to show Radgarid, but the old man grabbed it and tossed it away. Open-mouth, Severus stared at him.

"You don't need that stupid stick now. I already told you that you have an amazing and unique magical aura. You need to learn to feel your magic and use it again. The way you used to use it was destroyed and is scarred. It's no wonder you have problems using your magic. Later, you will be able to use it, but right now you are pressuring yourself too much. Learning to use your magic will take time. More than a year, Severus. School will be hard work for you and you shouldn't make it harder for yourself by expecting too much."

"But I need to go to classes and I need to pass them. Alastor and Poppy won't let me stay home."

"And that's perfectly right. Staying at home would dwarf your magical system. It needs permanent stimulation even though it is just the magic others are using around you. Living at Hogwarts will help you, and going to class will help you even more. See it as therapy and not as something to pass."

"But it is embarrassing to not be able to do what everyone else can do."

"Then you need to learn something none of your classmates can do that will help your magical system to regenerate as well."

Severus looked puzzled at Radgarid. "What?"

"You were able to perform a few wandless spells as an adult, right?"

Severus thought hard. His headache came back, but he also remembered his wandless magic. "Only a few."

"You did, and that's important. Your head and your wand are making you uncomfortable with using magic. I offer to teach you another way if you agree to three conditions."

"What conditions, and what will you teach me?"

"I will need to test you before I can tell you what I will teach you, but I can already tell you the conditions. First, you need to promise me to go to school. I will teach you thrice a week, but only if you attend classes. Just attend. I don't care how you are managing with the content of the classes, just that you try your best and do your homework."

Severus' mouth dropped open. Did Radgarid know about his Charms homework?

"Second, you need to trust me enough to go into your mind to close some doors in there. Your old memories are hurting you and the pain is distracting you from learning and healing."

"But then I won't remember my former life."

"You will still be able to remember things and see images of your memories, but there will be no emotions attached to them. I will be careful of which memories I hide like that. I promise you to be very careful. I'm experience with things like this, and I can reopen those doors whenever you wish. If something happens to me, Albus could reopen them as well. I would want him here when I rearrange your memories so that he knows where I close the doors."

Severus gulped.

"You don't need to agree now. The third condition is that you let someone-or better, some different people-feed you magic regularly. At the moment, your magical core is not running at full speed. It is holding back because it realizes that it will take more time than usual to regain the used magic. A regular magic feed would stop your magical core from depleting to its minimum. I would like to test some people around you for their ability to feed you magic. The more compatible people we find, the better. So consider if you are willing to follow those conditions. Do you want to take the test now? Are you already declining my offer?"

"No, I want to do the test. Can I at least choose the people you ask for the feeding?"

"I will test some people and provide you with a list of candidates tomorrow. Then you can decide if there are some you would not want to feed you magic. It is very intimating and you need to trust the people. I will judge them by their aura, but for the final test I need you to see how your magical core reacts to them. I can see that by the change of your aura during a feeding."

Severus nodded. "What kind of test do I have to do?"

Radgarid smiled. "You don't have to do much. Just stand close to me so I can see how your aura reacts. So come, stand in front of me."

Nervously, Severus stood up and positioned himself in front of the old man. "Closer." Severus obeyed, his heart beat speeding up. He jerked back when Radgarid formed a bowl with his hands and a flame grew in them. "Come closer again, Severus. There is nothing to fear." Not taking his eyes off the flame, Severus stepped closer again. Suddenly, the fire became water and Severus looked puzzled at Radgarid.

"Interesting," the old man mumbled and the water became a small twirl of air. Then the air changed into soil, and Severus felt a calmness fall over him. He was immediately reminded of the relaxing atmosphere during Herbology Club. He wanted to bury his fingers in the cool soil and let it run through his fingers.

"Ah, so it will be earth magic."

"Earth magic?"

"Yes, I will teach you earth magic, wandless earth magic. You will learn to get in contact with your magic, to feel it, and then you can use it for wand magic. Training for earth magic will help stimulate your magic to build new channels and restore old ones. I'm positive that it will help you. Tomorrow, we decide your feeders and then we can start your training. I will ask Hamid to help you. He hasn't mastered earth magic yet, but he can use fire and water."

"He doesn't speak much. Maybe he doesn't want to help me."

"He is a calm boy. Give him time. I'm sure he will like to have a partner in training."

-II-

"Ah, so it will be earth magic."

"Earth magic?"

"Yes, I will teach you earth magic, wandless earth magic. You will learn to get in contact with your magic, to feel it, and then you can use it for wand magic. Training for earth magic will help stimulate your magic to build new channels and restore old ones. I'm positive that it will help you. Tomorrow, we decide your feeders and then we can start your training. I will ask Hamid to help you. He hasn't mastered earth magic yet, but he can use fire and water."

"He doesn't speak much. Maybe he doesn't want to help me."

"He is a calm boy. Give him time. I'm sure he will like to have a partner in training."

-II-

"Those are Severus' friends," Harry said to Hamid on their way to Hagrid's hut for their Care of Magical Creatures class. "Hey Alicia, Oliver!"

The two Ravenclaws stopped and waited for Harry and Hamid to close the gap between them.

"Do you know where Severus is?"

"No, we hoped you could tell us. We tried to get him into the Great Hall for lunch, but he refused. We haven't seen him since then," Alicia explained.

"He left Transfigurations before I could even react. I thought he would have gone to the Great Hall," Harry said worriedly.

"He was in the lavatory and he...wasn't in a good mood," Oliver said nervously.

"The understatement of the year," Alicia said and pulled a face. "He was fuming and swearing. He said he hates school and won't attend classes any longer."

"He was in that kind of mood the whole weekend," Harry told them. "I need to go and look for him."

"We are already late for class, Harry," Alicia said and reminded Harry a lot of Hermione at the moment.

"Who knows what he'll do. He was really on edge lately," Harry said seriously.

"You don't mean he would hurt himself?" Oliver asked, shocked.

Harry just shrugged.

Now even Hamid joined the conversation. "I watched him during Transfigurations, and he seemed very frustrated. People who have that kind of stress will do anything."

All three teens gaped at him. When they fell out of their stupor, they all said at once, "We need to look for him." Before they could run to the castle, a loud whistle reached their ears and Hagrid bellowed for them to come over to the hut.

Harry groaned and ran to Hagrid, the others close behind him. "We need to look for Severus. He-"

"-is at home. Severus is home sleeping, Harry," Hagrid replied. "Alastor informed me."

"Oh," Harry said and relaxed a bit. At least the worst was not the case. He suddenly realized that he was breathing heavily from running. His air flow seemed to be completely cut off. He grabbed his throat even though he knew he should be fumbling for his applicator. Panic overcame him. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his chest and air pressed through his lungs. He heard shouting-Hagrid's shouting-and the hand was pulled away from him. The moment Harry lost contact with that hand, he was choking again. Hagrid had pulled Hamid so abruptly away from Harry that the boy had fallen down a few feet away from Harry. When Harry fell to his knees, he could see Hamid's shocked face. He was also clutching his chest. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. The voices around Harry were muffled, but he could hear Hagrid telling someone to get Poppy.

Alicia knelt down to take care of Hamid, who was shaking now. Hagrid had disappeared, and Oliver was trying to hold Harry up even though Harry just wanted to lie down and die. Harry could feel the ground vibrate when Hagrid came back, and he felt fresh air against his stomach when his robes were parted and his shirt drawn up. Then Harry felt the needle breach his skin, and slowly the world became normal again and his lungs filled with air.

"Damn that was close," Oliver said when Harry sat up.

"I'm fine," Harry said, embarrassed, and looked at Hamid. The boy was also sitting, and Hagrid was busying over him. What was wrong with him? Before Harry could ask any questions, Cindy the Mediwitch came rushing over to them.

"What happened?" she asked.

Hagrid explained the situation and then the Mediwitch rushed over to Hamid after she had shortly looked at Harry.

"I'm all right. My magic has to recover, that's all. I'm not very good with air magic now, so I used up my magic. When the Professor pulled me away so abruptly, I lost a great amount of magic at once." Hamid looked pale and sick. Cindy waved her wand over him and then conjured a vial. "That's a Pepper-Up Potion. It will help your body recover from the magic loss. No magic for you for at least this afternoon, young man. What classes do you have?"

"Just this one. Magical Creatures." Hamid looked to Hagrid for help.

"He won't need magic. I will keep an eye on him and bring him up to his quarters after class.

"Good." Cindy nodded and took the empty vial out of Hamid's hand. "Now let's check you over," she said, turning to Harry.

"I'm fine. I already got my emergency potion." Harry tried to stand up, but he was immobilized with a wave from Cindy's wand. "Hey!"

"When I say I will check you over, I don't want you to stand up and tell me you are all right." Cindy looked sternly at Harry. Poppy would have at least given him a warning. Harry did not like this Mediwitch at all.

After a diagnostic spell, she said, "He can attend the class as well. I will inform Poppy when she returns in an hour." With that, she stood up and left.

"I don't like her," Harry said grumpily as Oliver helped him up. "Ehm...thanks for helping me," Harry said to Hamid, who was being helped up by Hagrid and Alicia.

"It wasn't much help," Hamid said, disappointed in himself.

"It felt good as long as your hand was on my chest. I was getting fresh air in my lungs."

Hamid looked up hopefully. "Really? Then it worked. Master Radgarid will be glad to hear I'm getting better with air magic." Hamid beamed.

"Air magic?" Harry asked.

"You will have time later after class to talk about all that. Now we need to hurry, the Flobberworms are waiting," Hagrid said and led them over to the rest of the class.

Harry was not able to concentrate at all during class and hoped it would be over soon.

"You are still worried?" Hamid asked.

"Of course. You don't know Severus. Alastor was on edge about his behavior. Who knows what kind of trouble Severus is in now. I just want to go home and see if he is okay."

Hamid nodded. "I see, but I think Severus is safe. My master is in your quarters."

Harry did not know if that should calm him. Radgarid was mysterious and Harry could not judge him now. Unfortunately, he had no other choice than to wait for the class to be over to make sure Severus was okay.

/

"Severus? Harry?"

"In their room. Severus is hopefully still sleeping, Poppy. He is all right," Radgarid said, sitting with crossed legs in front of the fireplace, meditating.

"Alastor said he was refusing to go to school again, and he allowed him to come here."

"Yes, he arrived and we talked," Radgarid spoke calmly, his eyes still closed and his body still in his mediation position. "He will go to school again tomorrow. We agreed that I will train him, and he, in return, will accept a daily magic feed and go to school."

"Radgarid, please stop meditating and tell me what exactly you mean by 'training him.'"

"I don't need to stop meditating to talk with you, Poppy, dear. I offered to teach Severus elemental magic."

"Radgarid, I'm very glad you want to help Severus, but he will most likely not become one of your students. He is my son, and he won't leave before he is of age and fully recovered."

A small grin formed on Radgarid's face. "Will you start biting me away from your cubs now?"

Poppy was furious. She hated when Radgarid talked with her without looking at her, and she hated that Alastor's friend always knew how to make her angry. He liked making her magic flare. He said it was like a fireball around her and that it was fascinating to see when it erupted. "I'm a Ravenclaw through and through, so he would be my fledgling and not my cub. Stop this, Radgarid. None of my sons will go with you to become your student."

"I already have a student who will accompany me for many years, so I just offered Severus my knowledge without him signing up to be my student. Hamid will benefit from learning with Severus. So calm down, Poppy, I'm not trying to steal your fledglings from your nest."

Poppy groaned. "We will talk about it when Alastor comes back." With that, she turned and went to Harry and Severus' room.

/

"So he will teach you earth magic? I've never heard of it."

"I remember Alastor has experience with it. I think it's a chance. Better than vegetating like this." Severus held his hands up as if his lack of magic could be seen by just that gesture.

"Hamid did something to me. Something odd."

"What? What did he do? I will kill him," Severus said and jumped up from his bed.

"Whoa, calm down, Sev," Harry said and jumped up as well. "He tried to help me while I had an attack. I realized too late that I needed my applicator. He put his hand on my chest and-who knows how he did it-placed fresh air in my lungs."

"Not getting enough air in your lungs is not your problem during an attack. Don't you listen to the Healers?"

Harry pulled a face. "Of course I listen, but that's how it feels. Stop behaving as if you were my dad."

"Your dad, most likely not," Severus said and sat down again. "So Hamid helped you? What happened?"

"Hagrid interfered, and that made Hamid lose a lot of magic. That Mediwitch you told me about, Cindy, came and Hagrid gave me the emergency shot. I don't like that Mediwitch. She is horrible. She immobilized me without reason."

"She did what?" Severus and a voice from the door asked in unison.

"Poppy?" Harry said and turned to his adoptive mother.

"So what was that about immobilizing?" Poppy asked and went over to Harry. She was already eyeing Severus to determine his condition.

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine now."

"Still, I would like to hear it." Poppy pressed Harry onto his bed covers gently and started to wave her wand over him.

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes. "I just said I was fine and tried to stand up, and she immobilized me without a warning."

Poppy frowned but did not comment it. "How are you now?"

"I'm fine. Really. Maybe you should check on Hamid. Hagrid hurt him accidentally when he tried to protect me. I'm not sure if he really is as okay as he pretends to be. Radgarid sent him to his room to rest."

"I will check on him in a minute." She stood up and went over to Severus. "How are you?"

Severus frowned.

"Severus?"

"I'm fine."

"You left school early?"

"Yes."

"Severus, stop that and tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going on. I spoke with Radgarid. He might have a way to help me. I agreed to go to school, and he will teach me wandless magic."

"He will do nothing before Alastor and I have discussed this with your Healers."

"What? No! You cannot do that. It's my life. I can make decisions!"

"I could hear you screaming the moment I stepped into the hall, Severus," Alastor said as he walked into the room.

"Radgarid offered to teach me elemental magic, and Poppy wants to stop him," Severus said accusingly, his voice still loud.

"Stop screaming, Severus, or you will get a time out until you remember how to behave in front of your mo...Poppy."

Severus shot an angry glare at Alastor and Poppy but lowered his voice. "Please, you can't forbid me."

"I just said we will discuss this before we agree or disagree, Severus. Until you are off age, it will be our task to decide what's best for you."

Severus fought hard to not scream again or run out and slam the door. "That's not fair."

"That's life, son. I already spoke with Radgarid, and I think it is a good idea." He lifted his hand when he saw his wife's accusing look. "Still we need to ask your Healers for their opinion. You understand that Radgarid wants to meddle with your mind and wants you to get a daily magic feed. James and Maria have to know about it. Only they can say if it will cause any harm."

"It won't!"

Alastor raised his eyebrow.

Severus groaned. "Fine."

/

"Here is the list," Radgarid told Severus. He had waited in the entrance hall for Severus to come back from Herbology for lunch. "I need you to check it now, because I want to inform the potential feeders during lunch. I hope they all have time today so we can start."

Severus looked over the list while his friends waited a few feet away from him. "They are all fine except for Harry and Hamid. I don't want to get feeds from people my age." Severus gave the list back and looked insecurely up at Radgarid.

"As you wish. Come back home after class and wait for me. I will see who can come for the test today and inform you when I return. Until then, Severus." Radgarid stepped backwards and suddenly was gone. Severus and his friend stared open-mouthed at the place where the old man just had been.

"Wow, how did he do that?" Oliver asked.

"I have no clue," Severus replied. His shocked face turned into a fascinated one. This man could teach him so much.

/

"Can I stay? Please, Severus!" Harry pleaded with puppy eyes.

"Wow, now it's 'Severus' and not 'Sev.'"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Come on, please let me stay."

"Okay, okay, but just for the tests. Not the rummaging through my brain."

"Severus, please, that sounds as if we want to brainwash you," Albus protested, but his eyes were twinkling in amusement.

"Whatever. Just for the tests, Harry."

"Okay," Harry said, a bit disappointed but lucky to be around at all. "So, who is coming?" Harry tried to glimpse at the list in Severus' hand, but his brother pulled it out of his view.

"You are too nosey, Harry. Why are you so fascinated by the idea of people feeding me magic?"

"Because it's fascinating, isn't it? I mean the transfer of magic. That's so cool."

Severus frowned at his hyper brother. "Maybe for you, but I can assure you being the subject of that transfer is not at all fascinating."

"We can still stop if you feel so uncomfortable with it," Radgarid said as he stood up and tried to take the list from Severus.

"No," Severus said, determined, and held the list out of Radgarid's reach. "That's not what I meant. It's just annoying that everything is so fascinating for my little brother here."

"Hey, I'm not that much younger. We are in the same year."

"But I'm much older."

"You are not!"

"Oh my, did we interrupt something?" Filius asked from the fireplace. Minerva, Remus, and Pomona stood behind him.

"Just the usual," Poppy said, shaking her head in Severus' and Harry's direction.

"So just the Healers are missing," Radgarid stated.

"I believe this answers your question, little brother," Severus said teasingly.

Harry stuck his tongue out.

Hamid watched the whole scene in fascination. Never had he seen people behave like this. Not one of the adults seemed to really be affronted by their behavior. Even Master Radgarid was amused. Hamid wished he could be so carefree. His master often encouraged him to be more open and happy, but Hamid saw no sense in it. Working hard to master all four kind of elemental magic to their full extent was his life goal, not being happy. Seeing Harry and Severus changed many things. Severus would now become his partner in learning elemental magic. His master had explained to him that Severus would only learn earth magic and was not his master's student like how Hamid was. His master just wanted to help Severus with his destroyed magical system. So there would be no concurrence battle. Hamid was asked to help Severus and not try to outdo him as he would have normally if his master took another student.

Only a minute later, James and Maria came through the Floo.

"Thank you all for coming and for your offer to help Severus," Radgarid said when they were all seated. Severus sat nervously beside him. "I will send Severus over to each of you. I want you to take him on your lap and feed him magic through your whole body if you are able to or through your hand. I will watch your aura during it to see if your magic is compatible with his."

"On their lap? You didn't mention that," Severus protested, embarrassed.

"Really? I have no idea why that slipped my mind."

Severus glared at Radgarid.

"Come on, Severus, let us start," Alastor suggested.

Severus groaned and moved toward Alastor, but Radgarid grabbed his hand. "First comes the unpleasant part that I also didn't mention."

Suddenly, Severus felt magic being drained out of his body and he panicked. He felt weak and helpless and tried to wriggle out of Radgarid's grip. "Time to take over, Alastor," Severus heard Radgarid say through the cloud that was around his head. He was pulled onto a familiar lap, and then tickling magic flooded into his body through each part that was in contact with his adoptive father. Alastor had pushed one hand under Severus' shirt on his chest, and the direct skin contact made the magic flow even better. His skin was hot, and the tickling was almost unbearable.

"That's enough, Alastor. Leave something for the others. Now, someone he trusts less," Radgarid instructed, and Severus was placed on Remus' lap.

The magic came through Remus' hand on Severus' clothing-covered chest, so it was more bearable than the overwhelming feeling of Alastor's magic. Still, the stream of magic felt thick and steady.

Severus was dazed. He had no clue on which lap he was placed next. He had recognized Remus due to the man's nervousness and fast heartbeat. Now he was placed on a very comfortable, soft lap and his head was pulled against a warm womanly bosom. A kiss was placed on his head and Severus could smell earth. He relaxed and tried to melt into the person. It was Pomona. Her magic was coming from her whole body. Strong, thick, and warm magic. Something to get lost in. Not tickling, just warm and cozy. Severus' body was soaking the magic in like a sponge, and he groaned in protest when he was pulled away.

This time, Severus was placed on an armchair and two tiny hands were placed on his chest. Flitwick. The magic tickled like Alastor's. Like small current pulses. Severus could feel his core fill with that magic, and his channels were stimulated by it. Then he knew he was on Minerva's lap because he was embraced in a tight hug and her smell was so familiar to him. Almost as familiar as his adoptive parents' and Albus'. She was feeding him magic like Pomona, but Minerva's magic did not feel as warm. It was more of a refreshing magic. Severus wondered why he was so dazed. He felt his magic core was almost fully refilled.

The last person he was passed to was Albus, and the moment Severus was on his lap, he collapsed in his embrace. Severus was tired and just wanted to sleep. He felt his whole body covered in a bubble of magic. Albus' magic was overpowering. It was nothing like the other magic types. Severus' core was filled completely, but he felt so tired that he could not move anymore. He was lifted out of Albus' lap and carried to his room. Through the cloud around his head, Severus realized it was James who was carrying him and he felt Maria's presence close by. "Did I pass?"

"That was not a test for you to pass, Severus. You need to sleep now," James explained and tucked Severus in.

"Will he teach me?" Severus mumbled.

"Sleep, sweetie," Maria said and stroked his hair. Then everything went black.

-II-

The last person he was passed to was Albus, and the moment Severus was on his lap, he collapsed in his embrace. Severus was tired and just wanted to sleep. He felt his whole body covered in a bubble of magic. Albus' magic was overpowering. It was nothing like the other magic types. Severus' core was filled completely, but he felt so tired that he could not move anymore. He was lifted out of Albus' lap and carried to his room. Through the cloud around his head, Severus realized it was James who was carrying him and he felt Maria's presence close by. "Did I pass?"

"That was not a test for you to pass, Severus. You need to sleep now," James explained and tucked Severus in.

"Will he teach me?" Severus mumbled.

"Sleep, sweetie," Maria said and stroked his hair. Then everything went black.

-II-

"So?" Severus asked when he stormed into the living room were Alastor, Poppy, and Radgarid were sitting.

"So what?" Radgarid asked, amused, while Severus was pulled beside Poppy for a short check-up.

"Will you teach me?"

"I already told you I would teach you. We were just looking for candidates to feed you magic."

"And did you find one?"

"How are you feeling?"

"What?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Now tell me-"

"If you feel fine, I must have found at least one feeder, right?"

"Oh, come on. Please tell me."

Radgarid chuckled. "They are all capable. Some more, some less. They have very different magic. I would suggest Professor Flitwick and Professor Lupin as casual feeders. Go to them if you feel you need more magic beside your daily feedings. The most powerful feeds will be the ones from Albus and Alastor, but your body reacts best to Professor Sprout's magic. So she will feed you three times a week. Your regular feed will be before breakfast. You need to go to their private quarters each day at seven. They said you know where their private quarters are from your time as a professor. Can you remember?"

Severus checked for the information in his mind. "Yes, I can."

"Good. So Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday will be the days you will see Pomona. Tuesdays and Saturdays will be Albus' days, and Thursdays and Sundays are Minerva's."

"And Alastor?" Severus asked, surprised. "You said his magic is one of the most powerful, and I would feel much more comfortable with him than with any of the others."

Radgarid smiled. "Yes, I thought so. Alastor will be the one to give you a small doze of magic each evening before you go to sleep. That will refill you magic core completely and stimulate your channel system to heal and build new connections during night. With a bit of luck, we will soon see a positive result."

"What if not?" Severus asked fearfully.

"Then we will find another way."

Severus looked puzzled at Radgarid but then he slowly started to smile. The man had said it with such determination that Severus believed him. It was not the end, even if this did not work. "Where is Harry?"

"In Hamid's room. We eat supper in half an hour, Severus. Don't forget the time."

"Hey," Severus said when he entered Hamid's room.

"How are you? You should have seen it. The air was flickering with all the magic in the room," Harry said, excited.

"I'm fine." Severus looked timidly over to Hamid. He did not like that the boy had seen him so weak.

"My master robbed me of my magic several times to teach me the feeling of refilling your magic core from your surroundings. I know how you felt."

"Oh," Severus said. That made the situation less embarrassing.

"Master wants me to work together with you. I managed fire and water, and now I'm training in air. Earth is the hardest for me, so I fear I can't help you much, but I can help you with the basics."

"I want to learn too!" Harry said and looked pleadingly at Hamid.

"I don't know. I'm not allowed to give away my knowledge without the allowance of my master."

"Nobody has to know. Severus could teach me what he learns. Radgarid hasn't told you to not tell anyone, right?" Harry asked Severus.

"Not yet."

"So maybe he won't. Then you could teach me and Hamid could teach you. So we all will learn, right?"

Severus shrugged and looked at Hamid.

Hamid nodded insecurely. "When will the master scan and clear your mind?"

"I completely forgot about that. I need to ask him."

"Wait for us; it's supper time, anyway."

/

It was eight o'clock, and Severus sat nervously between Albus and Radgarid. Alastor and Poppy were sitting on the opposite couch like bodyguards.

"We will both go into your mind, Severus. Albus will watch me while I sort through your memories and lock some away. As he has known you for a very long time, he can help me decide which memories to set away for the time being."

Severus looked fearfully at Albus. "You will not put important ones away, right? I want to be able to remember my potions and my spells and-"

"Severus, your mind has already placed many of your potions and spells away. We cannot leave them all on the surface."

"But we will try to leave information like that at the front of your mind. We will place old memories of your classmates from your first time at school and memories of your schoolmates that were once your students behind a door as well as most of your memories of your time as a Death Eater. You will still be able to remember the content when you concentrate hard, but there will be no emotions or detailed information connected with the memories. Just basic knowledge. If we have enough space left, I will try to leave all your spells and Potions knowledge at the surface for easy access. You can trust us, Severus. I will open every door when you wish for me to. You just have to come to me if something is troubling you. Remember, you will still be able to remember those locked things, just in a very unemotional and superficial way."

Severus nodded and bit his bottom lip nervously. "It's highly possible that you will get a headache from this. Poppy will give you a potion when we are finished to make you sleep until tomorrow. Don't be worried by that. It's normal, so try to stay calm. You won't see what we are doing, but your head should feel cleaner and lighter the farther we progress." Albus took Severus' hand and stared into his eyes. Then Severus felt Radgarid place his hand on the back of his head, and a headache started to form in his head. After some time, the pain became worse, and after around ten minutes, Severus felt tears run down his face. Albus squeezed his hand reassuring. The pain was horrible, and Severus felt sick.

"I...I think I have to throw up. My head..." Severus could not close his eyes, and so he could not blink away the tears. His surroundings were blurred and he sobbed when Radgarid finally took his hand from his head. Albus pulled him on his lap. Quickly, Poppy was all over him and pressed a vial to his mouth. Then he fell asleep.

/

"Wow," Severus said when he woke up in the morning. For the first time, his head did not feel like it was stuffed with cotton. He could think clearly.

"What's going on? Are you all right?" Harry asked, sleepy.

"Yes, my head. It's so weird. It feels a few pounds lighter and I can think straight."

Harry smiled at Severus and sat up. "That sounds good. So it worked."

Severus looked puzzled at Harry.

"Ehm...the resorting Radgarid and Albus did with your mind. For the elemental magic training. You remember?"

Severus racked his brain and found the information. "Yes, I remember." He smiled at Harry.

"Wow, they must have brainwashed you. It's early in the morning, you had no hot chocolate, and you are smiling. That's not Severus."

Severus threw his pillow at Harry and then ran out of the room. In no time, he was at Alastor and Poppy's bedroom door. He knocked shortly and then stormed in. As it was five o'clock in the morning, his adoptive parents were still asleep. Or, rather, they had been asleep until Severus had almost knocked their door down and jumped in their bed.

"It worked. It's all clear now," Severus said, excited, and looked from one parent to the other.

"That's great, Severus," Poppy said, trying hard to orientate herself after being pulled out of sleep so abruptly.

"Yes, fantastic, but it still would have been as fantastic if you had told us two hours later," Alastor said after a short glance at the clock.

Severus let himself fall on his back between Poppy and Alastor. "Maybe I can learn better now. I have the feeling there is more room in my head. I woke up and immediately felt like learning something."

"How about learning to sleep two more hours, Severus?" Alastor asked and pulled the blanket over Severus.

"Okay," Severus replied, defeated. He had told them the great news and now there was no reason to stay awake.

The door squeaked, and Harry stuck his head in the doorway. "Can I come in, too?"

"Sure, the bed is big enough, Harry. Come in," Poppy said and pulled the bed covers aside for Harry to slide in. Quickly, the little family was asleep again.

/

Of course, Severus' problems were not gone, even though he had a hoped they would have diminished just a little. Transfigurations made him face reality. Even though he could concentrate much better and felt more awake, he still had problems getting his magic to work. After class, Minerva asked him to wait.

"You look better today, Severus, and you seemed to be more concentrated."

"But I still wasn't able to manage the spell."

"Transfigurations never was your favorite class, and you are still healing. Albus told me the resorting of your memories went well. How do you see it?"

"I feel much better. There is more room in my head," Severus said, tapping his head. "It's easier to concentrate and I feel more...alive. I can't describe it. But I wish my magic would work."

"Give yourself time, Severus. One month ago, we all feared you would never be able to live a normal wizard's life. Now it is just a question of time."

"But I will always need magic feeds," Severus said sadly and looked down.

Minerva lifted his chin. "Some people need potions, others need mental or physical therapy, and you need magic feeds, Severus. That's nothing bad. You have enough people around you who would love to help you."

Severus shrugged. It was useless to talk with the adults about it. They would never understand him. Only Harry could. He hated his dependence on potions as well. "I need to go to the Great Hall or Poppy will send a search group for me."

Minerva smiled sadly, knowing full well that he just wanted to avoid further conversation. "All right, Severus. On your way then."

Harry was waiting for him outside the classroom. "Everything all right?"

"You should spell that sentence on a sticker and just tap it to let me know you are asking. That will spare you at least an hour of talking a day."

"So she gave you trouble and you are in a grumpy mood again." Harry started to walk in the direction of the Great Hall.

"No, she just asked me about yesterday. And I'm just frustrated that Transfigurations didn't work for me again."

"It will. I can't wait until you've had your first lesson with Radgarid so you can teach me what he taught you."

"Who says I will even manage to learn it? Maybe I won't be able to teach you anything."

"Maybe you will be able to. Don't see everything so negatively, Sev," Harry said and looked cheerfully at his brother. "So three o'clock, right? Where will he teach you?"

"In the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom."

"We'll do our homework afterward, right? I'll wait for you. We have to write the essay for Astronomy."

Severus groaned. "I forgot."

"That's why you have me."

Severus was glad that they had reached the Great Hall. "Why haven't you been with Hamid?"

"He wanted to go and speak with Radgarid before lunch. I hope he is back. I'll go look for him. We'll see you at home." With that, Harry was gone, running to his friends. Severus watched Harry sit down beside Ron, who patted his shoulder. It was good to see Harry still had his friends. But it also made him sad that his friendship with Charlie, Tonks, and Kingsley would never be the same.

"Hey, Severus," Oliver called for him and pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked over to Oliver, who was enthusiastically waving him over to their house table. Alicia was smiling at Severus and he felt good again. He had new friends, and his old friends were still there for him even if they did not have the same relationship as before.

/

History of Magic was horrible again. Even though Severus was able to concentrate, Binns' monotone voice made him fall asleep again. As if Binns was waiting for it, he floated over to Severus and ran his ghostly hand through Severus' head. That made Severus sit up. "Detention, Mr. Snape. Five o'clock."

"It's Mister Moody," Severus said, frustrated.

"That's detention with Mr. Filch on Saturday afternoon in addition."

"For what?" Severus protested.

"For insubordination."

"Half of the class is sleeping. Why are you picking me out?" Severus became louder and louder and did not even realize that he had stood up.

"Out this instant. Go to the headmaster and inform him about your misbehavior. I will send a note to his office."

Severus grabbed his book and his bag, fuming, and left the room. What did that old bastard think? He never cared if any other student slept in his class. Severus was so angry that he did not realize that Filch was standing in the hall before he collided with him.

-II-

"That's detention with Mr. Filch on Saturday afternoon in addition."

"For what?" Severus protested.

"For insubordination."

"Half of the class is sleeping. Why are you picking me out?" Severus became louder and louder and did not even realize that he had stood up.

"Out this instant. Go to the headmaster and inform him about your misbehavior. I will send a note to his office."

Severus grabbed his book and his bag, fuming, and left the room. What did that old bastard think? He never cared if any other student slept in his class. Severus was so angry that he did not realize that Filch was standing in the hall before he collided with him.

-II-

"Sorry, Argus," Severus muttered while he was entangling himself from the old man.

"What did you call me?" Mr. Filch asked, not having a closer look at the boy.

"Ehm...sorry, Mr. Filch."

"What's your name?" Filch brushed off his robes and then finally looked up. "Oh, I...Severus?"

"Yeah, not very impressive anymore, right?"

"Not much, but you still look grumpy." Filch grinned, showing that he was missing some teeth.

"Binns kicked me out. And he gave me detention with you on Saturday. He's making my life hell."

"I think he's just paying you back, Severus. You were never very polite to him. You thought him a coward for being a ghost and not going into the afterlife. And then your comments about his teaching methods and morals, and-"

"I got it, Ar...Mr. Filch."

"Forget the 'Mr. Filch.' It's still Argus. I could use a connection to the little bastards here."

"I'm one of those little bastards now, Argus."

Filch laughed. "Yes, you are. Never would have believed it possible. So I can torture you on Saturday."

Severus' face fell. He knew of Filch's awful detentions. While he was an adult he had often planned them with Argus, and they had laughed about the poor students over a glass of wine when the detention was over. Filch had let Severus witness the event through Legilimency.

Argus laughed loud and patted Severus' shoulder forcefully. "This time, I don't have to share the memory with you afterwards."

"Yeah, very funny. I think I should go to the headmaster's now as Binns had instructed me. I'll see you on Saturday."

Filch grabbed Severus' arm when he passed him. "I'm sure I will find something amusing for both of us for your detention. We could speak with the Bloody Baron. He'll know how to make Binns' life-or death-a living hell in exchange."

Severus grinned. So Saturday would not be as bad as feared.

"Ah, finally, young man," a female voice said as Severus strolled through one of the halls that led to Dumbledore's office.

Severus looked around, puzzled, until his eyes fell on a portrait of a chubby woman in a yellow dress. Her hands were on her hips, and she was looking seriously at him. Damn, Helga Hufflepuff.

"Exactly, young man. Now come over here so I don't need to scream to talk with you. Your thoughts are loud enough for me to hear them, but talking will be impossible that way.

Severus gulped, immediately remembering his comment to the Sorting Hat during his second sorting.

"I see you remember. So come over here and tell me face to face what you think about my house."

"Great, another scolding for something everyone does but only I get in trouble for," Severus muttered while he stepped closer. "Everyone says Hufflepuff is for losers. You can't make me responsible for it."

"I cannot make you responsible for what you think about my house?" She raised an eyebrow, her hands on her hips.

Severus groaned. "But everyone else thinks so."

"I'm not talking with anyone else but you at the moment. And I can assure you that at least my Hufflepuffs do not think so." She looked challengingly at him.

"Fine. I need to go to see the headmaster. I'm already in enough trouble."

"Pomona said I should be lenient with you. That's the only reason why I didn't ask the castle to annoy you a bit."

"Annoy me?"

"Changing stairs in directions you don't want to go, closing doors, activating trap steps. So, do I need to go on?"

"No. Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I have nothing against Hufflepuff. I just didn't want to be placed in that house. Pomona is...I like her."

"I know." Her face softened. "I just don't like it when professors have the same prejudices as their students, but I think I need to see you as a student now. Salazar says he misses the heated arguments with you. Maybe you should show up at one of his portraits. The new Potions Master is too-what did he say? 'Passive' for Salazar's taste."

"Wow, one person who likes me grumpy. I will try to visit him, but I really need to see the headmaster or Binns will give me even more detention."

"Professor Binns, Mr. Moody," Helga said and winked at him. "You really should have been sorted into Hufflepuff. Then your family would represent the possibility of a union of the four houses."

Severus grinned. "Yes, now we are one Ravenclaw too much. I never thought about Poppy belonging to the same house as I do now."

"Yes, only Hufflepuff is missing."

"Don't tell Poppy that or she will adopt a Hufflepuff as well."

Helga laughed. "No, I think she has enough to do with you and Mr. Potter. Now off you go; the headmaster has just alerted all the portraits to look out for you and send you on the way to his office."

"Great, just great."

Severus was running now after ten portraits had scolded him and instructed him to hurry. Even now that he was already running, the portraits still commented on his tardiness. When he reached Albus' gargoyle, he was out of breath. "Fudge...fudge flies."

Severus stepped onto the moving staircase, but the closer he came to the door, the faster he stepped backward. As an adult, he had often thought about the possibility but had never gone through with it. He dreaded what would await him, and he just wanted to have more time to make up a good story. Helga had prevented him from creating one on his way. Suddenly, the stair stopped moving and Severus lost his balance and fell over. Then he felt a hand come down on his backside, and he yelped. Looking around, he saw nothing. There was nobody else there, but nevertheless Severus quickly climbed up the stairs and looked over his shoulder to make sure nobody was attacking his bum.

Severus did not realize that the office door was open until he was in front of Albus' desk.

"Ah, so you finally found your way. Fifteen minutes, Severus?" Albus fixed him with his blue eyes, his expression unreadable.

Severus gulped and bit his bottom lip. "Binns is totally unfair."

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Professor Binns, Severus. Do you want to tell me you weren't sleeping in his class and weren't shouting at him?"

Severus opened his mouth but then stopped himself. Albus was a wicked man, and he knew everything that happened in the castle. He could read minds even without eye contact. Now that Severus was unable to occlude his mind, it would be better to tell the truth.

"It is always better to tell the truth, Severus," Albus said, amused.

"Not always. I never told you that your purple robes are ugly, even though it's the truth and it's better I didn't say it because otherwise you would...damn, why did you put up that spell? I'm not one of the stu-why are you doing that?"

"Severus, you are a student, and that spell is always on my office. As an adult, you just weren't affected by it. Don't look so grumpy. As an adult, you enjoyed the opportunities of the Tongue-Loosening Spell."

"But as you said yourself, I'm no longer an adult."

"Yes, that's right, so now you are at the other end of the spell and need to live with it. Sit down. Tea?"

Severus sighed.

"What was that?"

"No, thank you."

"Hot chocolate?"

"I suppose." After a pause, he added, "Thank you."

"So, what's your problem with Professor Binns?" Albus asked when they were seated.

Severus sighed. "He has a problem with me, Albus. He is trying to pay me back for everything bad I've ever told him. Even Argus says so."

"You met Argus?"

"Yes, that's why I'm so late. And Helga Hufflepuff also held me up."

"You spoke with one of the founders and the caretaker of Hogwarts when a professor sent you to come to me immediately?" Albus looked sternly at Severus.

"You make it sound as if I had a choice. I literally ran into Argus, and he stopped me from coming. I even informed him that Bi-Professor Binns had assigned me a detention with him on Saturday. That was good, wasn't it?" Albus raised his eyebrows, and Severus groaned. "And I could hardly refuse to speak with Helga Hufflepuff. She would have called the castle to punish me."

"She cannot call the castle to punish you, Severus. How did you get such an idea?"

Severus gaped at Albus. "She told me so."

"Oh," Albus said and quickly looked away hide his grin. Spooning sugar in his tea also helped to conceal his laughter. Severus looked confused and wondered who was correct.

"Severus, you are Professors Binns' student now, and you need to respect him as your teacher."

"I do, but he is boring and unfair. I'm not the only one falling asleep, but he only punishes me."

Albus looked thoughtfully at Severus. "Still, you need to find a way to attend those classes successfully. Sleeping isn't helping that goal."

Severus looked grumpily at the headmaster.

"Talking back and even shouting at Professor Binns is also not the correct behavior." Albus glanced at the clock. "Minerva, Charlie, and Professor Binns will be here in a few minutes, Severus. You should think about a solution to this problem, and an apology will be needed as well."

"But I'm not the only one. Why do I get in trouble for it? Why Minerva and Charlie? Isn't it enough that I had to come up here?" Severus again realized too late that he was standing and shouting.

"That will definitely not help at all." Albus said sternly and looked seriously at Severus.

Severus flopped down on the couch again. "I knew it would be like this. I'm no longer an adult, but I also won't be treated like any other student."

"Any other student would be here as well for shouting at a teacher, Severus."

A knock rescued Severus from replying to that statement. Minerva and Charlie stepped in and Binns floated into the room behind them. So it was safe to assume that the ghost had already given Charlie and Minerva his version of the whole story. Now they would be biased.

Minerva's stern look spoke volumes, and Charlie obviously felt very uncomfortable to now have to play the responsible and stern Head of House with Minerva.

"I demand that you punish him, headmaster," Binns said, glaring at Severus.

"What? You already gave me detention. Two detentions!" Again, Severus was up and looked angrily at Binns.

"Sit down, Severus, and apologize for shouting at you professor," Minerva ordered sternly.

"But he is being unfair!" Severus protested and felt very lonely.

"We will talk about that, but first you will apologize and sit down."

"What do you mean 'we will talk about that?'" Binns asked, affronted, and looked sourly at Minerva.

"I mean that you most likely aren't as innocent as you pretend to be, Cuthbert. Severus hasn't been behaving inappropriately with any other teacher." Her stern glance was directed at the translucent ghost, and Severus sat down, not feeling as helpless and alone as a few minutes ago.

The ghost was gasping, but Minerva did not give him time to form a reply. "Severus, I'm waiting."

"Ehm...I'm sorry for shouting at you, Professor Binns." Severus did not look up but rather stared at his hands in his lap.

"He does not mean it, Headmaster! You cannot let him get away with everything just because he was close to you as an adult."

That stung, even though Severus did not know why. He let his head and shoulders sink.

"I'm still very close to him, Cuthbert," Albus said as he watched Severus closely out of the corner of his eye.

Severus straightened up a bit after hearing that, but he was still very nervous about what would happen now.

"So he will be treated specially? He can sleep during my class and be insubordinate?" Binns asked angrily.

"Of course not, but if I'm correctly informed, you have already assigned two detentions. One for sleeping and one for his, as you call it, insubordination," Albus said seriously.

"Still, there is the fact that he behaves like that in my class all the time."

"He's only had two classes with you, Cuthbert," Minerva said, but Albus' raised hand made her stop.

"Minerva is right. I think you should give Severus time to adjust. You two had a bad start and never were on very good terms, Cuthbert. I'm sure Severus will behave from now on. Won't you, Severus?" Albus fixed Severus with his ice-blue eyes.

"Yes, sir."

"So, are you willing to give him more time to adjust, Cuthbert?"

"What other choice to I have, Headmaster? As you don't seem to be willing to handle the situation as the protocol envisions, I will have to discipline him."

Severus looked, shocked. That sounded bad, very bad. He looked at Albus.

"You already punished him, Cuthbert. I expect my teachers to suit the punishment according to the fault of the student. Two detentions are adequate punishment." The warning tone was obvious to everyone in the room.

Binns nodded, still angry and floated through the door.

Now all eyes were on Severus.

Albus broke the uncomfortable silence. "Severus, you need to be polite around Cuth...Professor Binns. He is your teacher now."

"I was polite, but he is unfair. He waited for me to fall asleep."

"Then don't fall asleep, Sev," Charlie said.

Severus glared at him. "As if you hadn't slept through half of his lessons."

"That's not the point," Minerva intervened when Charlie wanted to defense himself. "You need History of Magic to finish your second year, so your need to pay attention and be respectful, no matter what you think about your teacher or the class he teaches." Her lips were a thin line, and that meant that nobody should try to argue with her. Severus knew that very well.

"I know."

"Then I expect you to act upon that knowledge, Severus. If I hear about you shouting at Professor Binns again or being disrespectful in any other way, you will be in detention with me, and we both know that you don't want that."

Severus went pale. He definitely did not want that. "No, I don't."

"Then we both understand each other."

Severus looked unhappily at Minerva. "You won't tell Alastor and Poppy? I mean, the parents of other students aren't informed about things like this, right?"

"We don't need to inform them. They will be present for the staff meeting in twenty minutes, and I bet that Cuthbert will make your behavior a topic there again."

Severus felt sick. So he would be in even more trouble when he came home. Immediately, the Astronomy Tower came into his mind. Why was he always thinking about that tower when he did not want to go home?"

"I want you to go home now, Severus; no detours," Albus said knowingly. "Remember, you have your first lesson with Professor Montanasi in half an hour."

Severus looked accusingly into Albus' twinkling eyes. "It's not legal to read other people's mind."

"Says Mr. A-Little-Legilimency-Here-And-There-Can't-Hurt," Minerva laughed.

-II-

Severus looked unhappily at Minerva. "You won't tell Alastor and Poppy? I mean, the parents of other students aren't informed about things like this, right?"

"We don't need to inform them. They will be present for the staff meeting in twenty minutes, and I bet that Cuthbert will make your behavior a topic there again."

Severus felt sick. So he would be in even more trouble when he came home. Immediately, the Astronomy Tower came into his mind. Why was he always thinking about that tower when he did not want to go home?"

"I want you to go home now, Severus; no detours," Albus said knowingly. "Remember, you have your first lesson with Professor Montanasi in half an hour."

Severus looked accusingly into Albus' twinkling eyes. "It's not legal to read other people's mind."

"Says Mr. A-Little-Legilimency-Here-And-There-Can't-Hurt," Minerva laughed.

-II-

Severus cursed. "It's not working!" He threw the soil he had held in his hand to the ground.

"Stay calm," Harry instructed and could not decide if he should look at the fuming Severus or Hamid, who was using water magic to pull two streams of water out of the little pond they were sitting close by.

"How the hell is he doing that?" Severus asked angrily while he looked at Hamid's handwork. Hamid was moving his hands to combine the two streams. "I'm going home. I still need to write the essay for Binns. The old coot is waiting for the next chance to get me in trouble."

"We aren't allowed to leave the forest alone, Severus. We need to go together." Harry caught Severus by the sleeve of his robes.

Before Severus could reply, a loud splash was heard and Hamid rose.

"We should meditate. Your aura is flaring again, and you are losing too much magic," Hamid said calmly and sat down close to Severus, striking his mediation pose.

"I have no time for meditation. This is not helping. I'm unable to do elemental magic."

"Calm down, Severus. You know you are not supposed to get angry. Anger burns your magic. Let's meditate like Hamid suggested," Harry intervened.

"What for?" Severus asked angrily and tried to get rid of Harry's hand.

"You are already making progress. You are doing better in most classes, and Radgarid says you are good at meditation. It helps your magical channel net to rebuild the connections. Come on, a bit of channel mediation will calm you down and then we can start again."

Grumpily, Severus let Harry pull him down, and he got himself in his preferred mediation position, the lotus seat. Three weeks had passed since Severus had started his training with Radgarid. Harry was right. Radgarid had often praised him for his meditation method. He said that Severus' aura was changing because of it, and he was even able to make his magical core refill itself quicker. No one had hoped for something like that. Severus was able to control the ability of refilling his core. That was great progress. Only Severus did not see it as such. He just saw that he still was unable to do earth magic. He could feel the magic in the earth. It definitely was his element, but he had no clue how to control and use it. He was not able to link the connection between his magical channel system and the earth magic.

Radgarid had stopped the training and asked Severus to stop pressuring himself so much. He said that meditation would best help to his magical system to heal. It frustrated Severus to no end.

Severus needed five minutes to calm down enough to start meditation. Harry was already lightly swaying from side to side, which meant he was deep in his mind now. His little brother was happy about any progress he was making in his elemental magic, contrary to Severus, who never was satisfied with himself. Harry had hoped to be able to use air magic to help his lung problems. It annoyed him a lot, especially during Quidditch. Unfortunately, he found no connection to the elemental magic of air, and Hamid told him it was one of the hardest to master for most wizards. So Harry tried to use the mediation method for getting his breathing problems a bit more under control. James and Maria already noticed change for the better.

Hamid had gotten Radgarid's permission to tell Harry about the meditation and elemental magic, and he had offered to train Harry. Unfortunately, Poppy had voted against it and her word was law. It would be too stressful for Harry to learn elemental magic. Meditation was all right for Poppy, but no training.

Severus tried to stop his frustrating thoughts and self-doubt to meditate successfully. After another five minutes, he was ready to go. It was very calming to hear your own heartbeat. Severus tried to feel his magical core and found it still buzzing and heated. It was still burning magic for nothing because he had been out of control again. If he went on like that, Radgarid would never start training him again. Severus slowed his breathing and felt his magical core getting calmer and more balanced. After a few more minutes, he was able to stop burning magic and start rebuilding more of his core. Severus tried to "reach" for his magical channel net and stimulate the torn channel net, the dead channels, his joints, and the thin new connections between the joints in the channel net. The Healers and Radgarid were fascinated with how much Severus could control his magical core and channel net, but for Severus it still was not enough. It was developing too slowly.

A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of the mediation. Severus blinked a few times and then noticed that Harry and Hamid were standing beside him. Quickly, Severus got up, using his height to feel more powerful. Hamid was still smaller than Severus, but he made up for his height by his calm, adult behavior.

"We need to go back home. Hamid has his next training session in half an hour and we still need to do homework. We have one of our tutoring sessions with Alastor this afternoon as well."

Severus shook his head over Harry's excitement.

Hamid placed a hand on Severus' shoulder and steered him in the direction of the castle. The Indian boy knew exactly how Severus often felt about Harry's behavior. Harry was a miracle to Hamid. Always so cheerful about small things. Sometimes Hamid wondered if Harry realized how confusing he was to Severus. He never seemed to notice the strange looks Severus often threw in his direction.

"We need to find another gift for Poppy soon, Sev. Her birthday is in three weeks," Harry stated while he tried to find the way back to the castle without Hamid's help.

"We could still brew Wrinkle Cream for her."

"Are you crazy? I don't want to end up as a toddler. Malfoy would make my life a living hell. It's bad enough now. He really thinks it's my fault."

"He is only teasing you."

"He hates me!"

"He doesn't hate you."

"He does. The only reason he is not terrorizing me all the time is you." It was not really that bad and all three boys knew it. Draco was around Severus often and both had found a way to become friends. Draco was treating Severus like an equal old friend and Severus liked that a lot. The Slytherin did not try to influence Severus anymore as Severus had made his wish to be left alone very clear to Draco.

Jessica was around Severus quite often. Hamid had befriended her as well, and she tried to help Severus find a connecting to earth magic with her knowledge about plants and gardening. Severus bet that there was even more between the two, but he did not confront either about it. Still, there was that nagging, uncomfortable feeling in him whenever he saw the two together.

Draco even accepted that Harry was with Severus sometimes when they met, not that Harry liked it much. Unfortunately, Draco had made it his task to tutor Severus in the classes he had problems with, and it seemed that Severus only accepted his help. So Harry was stuck with Malfoy for many homework sessions. They usually ignored each other, but two days ago, Harry was shocked by Draco noticing that he had problems and actually helping him. He had stared at Draco until the blond Slytherin had addressed him twice-and once even with his first name-before he was able to understand Draco's instructions. So they were finally on better terms, but it would never be amiss to complain about Draco in front of Severus, so he held the Slytherin on a short leash.

"So what then? I have no clue," Severus stated.

Harry shrugged. "I don't have any idea either. Maybe some sweets and a new plant. She was very upset when you smashed that ugly plant down by accident. I swear, she still stares at the empty spot where it once stood every time we're in the kitchen. And she has that lost and sad look on her-"

"Thanks for making me feel even guiltier for destroying that plant." Severus glared at Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't get you knickers in a twist, Sev. So we will buy her a plant?"

"I don't know. There's still time to think about it. I still have a few sickles. Maybe I shouldn't have bought the new potion journal."

"Did you already forget our talk with Poppy and Alastor about the proper way to use pocket money?" Harry teased Severus. He knew that Severus felt very embarrassed about getting pocket money. After the first feeling of awkwardness, Harry liked getting pocket money even though he put aside most of it each time. First, they had saved all their money, but then Alastor and Poppy had found out and insisted that they at least buy one item or sweet when they were on their regular weekend trips. Those trips were great. Even Severus could not hide how much he liked them. Harry had seen a smile creep up on Severus' face more often during those trips. It also did not feel awkward to be in close contact with Poppy or Alastor. Alastor often wrestled with them; one would never guess that he only had one real leg. Alastor could easily beat both his boys in wrestling.

"How could I forget? We'll be in London this weekend, so maybe we can look for a present for Poppy there."

"Do you remember why we're going to London?" Harry pulled a face and grabbed his chin.

"It's just a dental Healer, Harry. Your teeth are fine. The whole appointment is for nothing."

"Then why are they even doing it?"

"Because the Ministry wants us to be checked. I swear, one day I will pay them back."

"Don't let Alastor and Poppy hear that."

"They hate the Ministry as well."

"Maybe, but they definitely don't like you talking about it like that. And remember that your godfather is the Minister himself."

"Hmpf."

Harry grinned at Hamid. Sometimes he felt bad for the Indian boy. He was always so calm and never tried to join their conversation on his own.

"Have you been at a dental healer, Hamid?" Harry asked.

"After I was released from the hospital after the big fire, I was sent to an orphan shelter. We had medical examinations twice a year, and the dental Healer also came twice a year. It's nothing to worry about." Hamid could read Severus and Harry very well, so he knew that Severus was just pretending to be calm and unconcerned about the dental Healer and that Harry was really scared.

"But what will he do if something isn't right? I haven't been to a dentist since I was six and that was awful. My uncle restrained me with his fat arms and my aunt was holding my head while the dentist shoved some kind of clamp into my mouth that prevented me from closing it." Harry shivered. "It was horrible. What if it's like that again?"

"It won't," Severus said. "And wizards don't need to hold other people down with fat arms. A simple Immobiliz-"

"What Severus wants to say is that dental Healers aren't as cruel as that dentist you talked about. You will see, Harry." Hamid looked worried at the pale boy beside him. Sometimes Severus was as unaware of Harry's feeling as Harry was of Severus'.

"But-" Harry started.

"No 'buts.' You will see. Don't worry so much. Just ask your mother about it."

At first Harry wanted to ask "My mother?" as he had done very often during the first weeks, but he caught himself. For Hamid, Poppy was Harry's and Severus' mother, and Harry was sick of stating every time that she was his adoptive mother.

"You could ask her to check your teeth before and tell you what the Healer will do. I'm sure you won't worry about it afterward. Maybe Severus will accompany you so you aren't alone."

Harry looked hopefully at Severus.

"Why? I don't want to be close to Poppy when she goes into Mediwitch mode."

Harry looked sadly down.

"Okay, okay. I'll go with you."

The ear to ear smile on Harry's face made Severus groan and frown, but inside he felt warm and happy.

X-X

"There is nothing to worry about, Harry. The Healer will check your teeth with his wand. It won't hurt and only takes a few minutes. He will also check your jaw. That doesn't hurt either," Poppy explained calmly.

"But what if my teeth aren't good? It's been a long time since I went to a dentist," Harry said.

"Then he will numb the tooth and remove the bad parts so that the tooth can regrow. It's not painless, but I'm sure you two have already had much worse pain than a stinging tooth," Poppy said while watching both her boys. It seemed that was not the right thing to say because Severus and Harry paled, but she would not lie to them. They should be prepared. Poppy could remember very well how much the adult Severus had fought before Alastor could get him to a dental Healer. To be honest, it was the same dental healer they would go to on Saturday. Healer Wright had Severus' old files and could compare them to what Severus' jaw and teeth were like now. Still, Poppy was not certain how Severus would react. She was very surprised about Severus' current good behavior. She had awaited great protest the moment she had announced the appointment.

X-X

Severus could not sleep. They would have to see the dental Healer tomorrow, and Severus could still remember the pain he had felt when the Healer had worked on his inflamed back tooth. It had been horrible, and only his pride had kept him in the chair, his fingernails clawing deeply into the armrests. The pain had gone straight to his brain and his magic had almost lashed out. Only his control skills had prevented it from doing so.

This time, he would have no such control and he feared he would embarrass himself in front of Harry. His little brother was the only reason Severus appeared to be so calm. Otherwise he would have fought tooth and nail against the appointment.

For the fourth time, Severus stood up and went to the bathroom. The clock in the hall told him it was three o'clock. He had not slept at all. Only five more hours until they would come to wake him and Harry.

"What's going on, Severus?" Alastor pulled Severus out of his thoughts.

"I just need to use the loo."

"For the fourth time in two hours? What's going on?" He steered Severus into the living room, increased the fire in the fireplace, and wrapped a blanket around Severus.

"You know what's wrong."

"Do I?"

Severus groaned. "I don't want to see the dental Healer."

"Ah, I see. We were wondering about your sudden change in behavior concerning the dental Healer. So it was all to impress Harry?"

Severus looked down. "He was worried, and I don't want to worry him more. I don't want to look weak."

"I know you were scared before your last appointment with Healer Wright and it wasn't painless, but he was kind and you felt much better afterward. Right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Ah, no, Severus. No 'buts' right now. You felt better afterward. This time, the worst that can happen is that you might have a cavity. Removing it doesn't hurt as much as healing an inflamed tooth. I promise you will hardly notice any pain, Severus. You've had so much more pain than this. You might not even have any cavities. Stop worrying. If you want, one of us will come with you into the examination room."

"I'm old enough, I can do it alone," Severus said, not very convincing.

"We will see tomorrow, but now off to bed."

-II-

Severus groaned. "I don't want to see the dental Healer."

"Ah, I see. We were wondering about your sudden change in behavior concerning the dental Healer. So it was all to impress Harry?"

Severus looked down. "He was worried, and I don't want to worry him more. I don't want to look weak."

"I know you were scared before your last appointment with Healer Wright and it wasn't painless, but he was kind and you felt much better afterward. Right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Ah, no, Severus. No 'buts' right now. You felt better afterward. This time, the worst that can happen is that you might have a cavity. Removing it doesn't hurt as much as healing an inflamed tooth. I promise you will hardly notice any pain, Severus. You've had so much more pain than this. You might not even have any cavities. Stop worrying. If you want, one of us will come with you into the examination room."

"I'm old enough, I can do it alone," Severus said, not very convincing.

"We will see tomorrow, but now off to bed."

-II-

"Why can't we stay here?" Severus protested while they sat at breakfast on Saturday. Not only did he have to see the dental Healer today, but Poppy also had to tell him that he and Harry would be staying at the Burrow for the next weekend. All this before he was really awake and had his full cup of hot chocolate. Not to mention that he had only around three hours of sleep last night. All in all, the whole day was crap even though it had just started.

At least Harry was not looking as cheerful as he normally would have at the mention of staying at the Burrow. The ear to ear smile that statement would have normally caused would have increased Severus' headache and bad mood. Now he was worried about Harry, which made him not think about his own problems.

"Alastor and I will be off at conferences; we agreed to attend before we knew we would be responsible for two teenagers. I don't want you to stay alone," Poppy explained, refilling Severus' cup to the rim with hot chocolate.

"But why can't we stay with our godfathers? That's what they are for, to take over when you aren't able to," Severus argued.

"Kingsley is a busy man, and Remus can't take you two for the whole weekend. It's close to the full moon, and he needs rest."

Severus groaned. "I'm all right. Why don't you just send Harry to the Weasleys and let me stay here? I can take care of myself, and Radgarid and Hamid will also be here."

"No, they won't. They will join me at my conference. They got a request to speak as well when the organizer got wind of them staying here with us," Alastor explained and looked seriously over to Severus. It was the first warning, and Severus knew it.

"But the Weasleys are-"

"I would be cautious of what you say now, Severus. Last warning or you can talk with the corner because we would like to enjoy our breakfast and not listen to your complaints about a totally adequate way to spend your next weekend in good care." That was the second and last warning. Severus knew that, but he could not help but mutter his opinion anyway.

"'Adequate way.' Maybe for Harry, but not for me. And I'm no baby."

"Corner! Now!"

"But-"

"Severus, I warned you. There is no more discussion about your stay at the Burrow next weekend and about your punishment."

"But that's for babies," Severus protested, but nevertheless moved to the corner Alastor was pointing at.

"Then don't behave like one. Molly and Arthur know exactly how to take care of teenage boys, and they can handle your physical problems as well as Harry's. Under no circumstances will we leave you here alone."

"Anyone else can stay. It's only because we aren't allowed to sleep in our dorms that we are treated like babies," Severus muttered grumpily.

"We can go in your room to discuss this further if you don't stop that muttering, Severus." That definitely was the last warning before Severus' bum would be very, very sorry, and so he kept his mouth shut. Not even Severus was be stupid enough to go on now.

After five minutes, Poppy looked at her husband. "Alastor we need to leave in forty minutes, and they need to clean their teeth thoroughly before we leave."

"Come over here, Severus, and eat your breakfast," Alastor instructed the boy in the corner.

Severus quickly shuffled over to the table and finished his breakfast without complaining anymore. Not that he would ever mention it openly, but the corner punishment worked wonders on him. He often lost his temper, but time in the corner eased his anger and he started to think about what had brought him there. Most of the time, he realized that he was behaving stupidly or had overreacted. A long talk often followed after time in the corner, but today there was no time for it. Severus, nevertheless, had no doubt that it was being delayed for the time being.

Poppy had cast a Cleaning Spell on their teeth before the brushing, but they were not very effective on teeth. So Poppy instructed them to brush their teeth thoroughly. She had not meant for the boys to scrub their gums off in an attempt to get rid of whatever could cause the dental Healer to do more than just a check-up. When they did not come out of the bathroom for more than fifteen minutes, Poppy came to get them. Seeing them still with their toothbrushes in their mouth and the bloody spit in the sink made her groan. "If I had known you two would try to get rid of your teeth by scrubbing them away, I wouldn't have left you alone." She grabbed the toothbrushes out of their hands and waved her wand to clean their gums. "Rinse you mouths and let me see the damage."

"What's going on? We need to leave." Alastor poked his head into the bathroom.

"It seems they've brushed their teeth-or should I say their gums-for over fifteen minutes. Now Healer Wright will definitely have something to work on."

"What?" Harry asked, shocked. "I thought we needed to brush that long because Severus was doing it." He looked confused from Severus to Poppy and Alastor.

Severus blushed and looked down.

"Come over here and let me see." Poppy waved both boys closer and lit her wand. She shook her head after inspecting their mouths. "I will leave it for Healer Wright to decide what to do."

X-X

Alastor never lifted his hand from Severus' neck. What did he think his charge would do? Run? Maybe. At least Severus had it in his mind a few times. Due to Alastor's precaution, they arrived at Healer Wright's practice without any incident. Unfortunately, Harry had gone from pale to white and was close to crying.

Severus did not feel any better and pushed himself closer to Alastor. The hand on his neck slid around him and hugged him. "Stop worrying, Severus. We talked about this last night."

Poppy was busy drying Harry's tears. His face was white with red splotches of embarrassment. At least they were alone in the waiting area until a friendly nurse came into the room. She stopped after taking a look at both boys and quickly made a step back into the room she had just emerged from. One half of her body was still outside. No sound was to be heard, so there must have been a Silencing Charm on the room. When the nurse came over to them, she smiled. "How are you? You look a bit worried." She could not decide which to turn to. She finally chose Harry as he was turning even paler; she feared he would faint any minute. He was hyperventilating, and Poppy was asking him to use his applicator, but Harry's hands did not move out of his pockets.

"Hello," a man with a slight butterbeer belly said when he emerged from the examination room the nurse had come from.

Severus threw one look at the doctor and survival mode kicked in. He quickly ducked under Alastor's arm and made for the door. He could hear Alastor curse behind him, and then he was pulled backwards by an invisible force until he was back in Alastor's strong grip. "Calm down, Severus!"

"I'm all right. My teeth are okay," Severus said, desperate as he tried to wriggle out of Alastor's arms. He could hear Healer Wright address Alastor and send him into another examination room with the friendly nurse. When the door was shut, all sounds from outside were gone. Severus was panicking now. The horrible pain from his infected tooth came back to his mind. That was not one of the memories that Radgarid had locked, so all the emotions and the feelings were attached to the memory.

"Severus? Come on, calm down and look at me," the nurse said while Alastor tried to hold Severus still. Severus' panicking glance fell on the nurse who smiled at him. "Nothing is happening now, Severus. You can calm down, and we can talk about what you are afraid of."

Severus shook his head and tried to turn to look at Alastor. "Please, I swear I will brush my teeth five times a day. Just let us go. Poppy can check my teeth or James or Maria."

"Or Healer Wright, as he is the expert, Severus," Alastor said, destroying any hope Severus had of getting Alastor to cancel the appointment.

"Severus, come over here. Tell me what's so scary?" the nurse asked.

Knowing that Alastor would not let him leave, Severus went over to the woman, defeated. He told her about his last appointment with Healer Wright, and she assured him just like Alastor that it would very unlikely that he would have an infected tooth now, and so it would not hurt like that again. Severus was not convinced, and so he paled again after twenty minutes when Healer Wright came into the room.

X-X

A heavy hand was lying on Harry's shoulder when the world came into focus again. "You had a panic attack. Why don't you tell me what caused it? I'm Healer Wright," said the man to which the hand on his shoulder belonged.

Whatever the man had given him made Harry relaxed and his tongue lose. He told the Healer about his last memory of a dentist.

Poppy gasped, shocked, beside him, but the Healer quickly drew Harry's attention back to him when he assured him that the same thing would not happen here and that he would explain every single step of the examination to Harry in advance. He also promised that Poppy would stay at his side to hold his hand in support. Harry was still scared, but he let the Healer guide him over to a big chair with a big light ball floating over it.

First, the Healer examined his jaw by running his hand and then his wand over it. Then he asked Harry to open his mouth. "Your teeth are a bit uneven. We need to check regularly if they will be changing. If your back teeth move further to the front your eye tooth will be shoved out further. That could cause pressure pain. For now, I will just wait and watch. If necessary, we can apply a Pressure Spell in the right direction later. He still has plenty of time until his jaw stops growing. If you feel pressure or pain in your jaw or have a lot of headaches, let me or your guardians know. Relax your jaw."

Harry was happy that he was allowed to relax and close his mouth again. The Healer explained that he would scan each tooth with his wand for any cavities or infection. Until now he had not mentioned Harry's burning gums. Maybe it wasn't so bad.

Harry was terribly nervous through the whole process of the scanning. Poppy's hand must have been one big bruise by the time the Healer was finally finished, but she did not complain.

"No cavities, Harry. Your teeth are healthy. There was no reason to worry so much or brush your gums so hard. I will apply an antiseptic healing salve to them that will taste very bitter, but it will reduce the sting. It should cool and soothe your gums."

The Healer was right about the salve, and Harry screwed his face. The bitter taste was horrible.

"You need to rinse your mouth with that potion for the next two days after each meal or snack. It will prevent your gums from getting infected." Harry took the vial, but Poppy snatched it out of his hand and placed it in her pocket. After that, a lecture on the proper cleaning of teeth followed. Brushing being much more effective than Cleaning Spells and the necessity of regular check-ups twice a year was included. With a Mediwitch as your mother, the lecture was not really necessary, but it seemed to be standard. Harry nodded in understanding but also stated that he knew all this from Poppy. "Better to hear it once too much than not, Harry. We are finished now. You can wait outside for your brother."

Harry nodded and was happy to be outside, even though the Healer had been very kind and nothing had hurt. Poppy had thought about bringing a deck of cards, and they played until a pale Severus stepped out of the examination room.

X-X

"Hello, Severus," Healer Wright said when he stepped into the room. "How are you? Did you calm down a bit?"

Severus had paled even more and the nurse, Claudia, took his hand.

"Unfortunately, we weren't successful in convincing Severus that you won't continue the torture he recalled from his last meeting with you."

"Ah, I feared you would remember that, Severus." Healer Wright sat down on a stool with wheels and rolled closer to Severus. "Do you have any toothaches at the moment?"

Severus frantically shook his head. Would the Healer not examine him now? That would be too good to be true.

"I thought so. Do you remember how you felt the last time you came here?"

Severus paled again. The little color that had come back to his face at the hope of being released without an examination was gone again. "It hurt a lot, and you made it hurt even more."

"But afterwards it was getting better, right? Your infection was gone. Right now, you are not in pain, so it is very unlikely that you have an infected tooth. I won't hurt you like last time. No pain killer works as effectively as to soothe the pain of an infected tooth. Otherwise you wouldn't have come here the last time."

"But what if you find one?"

"Then we need to heal it, and Mr. Moody here will hold your hand. It will be all right, Severus. Why don't we check if there is even something to worry about before we talk about how to go on? I promise to not do anything without telling you beforehand. And in case Harry told you his horrible story of his last dentist meeting, I won't restrain you to the chair nor will your guardian."

Severus swallowed. He could feel Alastor's questioning glance but avoided it.

"Come on. Just sit down on the chair, and I will start by examining your jaw."

Sighing in defeat, Severus sat down on the examination chair.

"So was it that bad?" Healer Wright asked after he had declared that everything was all right with Severus' teeth and jaw and had applied the same salve on Severus' gum as he had done on Harry's.

Severus shrugged. "But it could have been worse if you found something."

"You will come in for regular check-ups now, and that will guarantee that you will not develop an infection as you had before. Even if you get a cavity, it will only be in an early stage, and that means you will hardly feel anything when I heal it. There is no need to worry as much as you did today."

Severus nodded. It made sense, but he still wished to be out of the practice as fast as possible.

"Good," Healer Wright said to Severus and then turned to Alastor. "There is nothing to worry about. I will send my report to the Healers Smith and Meyers. Everything is according to their current age. We only need to watch out for Harry's teeth location and act if it gets worse, but even if they move a bit, it's no big deal. I'll see the boys in half a year for their next check-up."

X-X

"Please, Alastor!"

"Severus, we don't know if Kingsley has time, and I will be busy for at least two hours."

"I will be good. I promise!"

Alastor groaned. "What about your homework?"

"I'm already done," Severus lied.

"Severus, what did I tell you about lying? You just came back from your class thirty minutes ago."

Severus groaned. "Sorry. But I promise I will do it as soon as we are back."

"Fine," Alastor gave in. "Get ready. We're leaving in ten minutes."

X-X

"I will go straight to Kingsley, and if he has no time, I will go to Tonks, and if she has no time, I will go to Arthur. I got it, Alastor." Severus rolled his eyes when Alastor looked sternly at him. He sighed, relieved, when Alastor finally left for his meeting.

Severus did not like the Ministry at all, but he had his wand and nobody could boss him around like in the first days of his de-aging. He planned to stay far away from the Department of Magical Accidents and Damages. Kingsley's office was at the top of the building, so Severus headed for one of the elevators. It was crowded, and he could hardly see anything. He was relieved after the door opened for the last time before his stop, he could breathe freely again because he was alone in the elevator now.

"Minister Shacklebolt is not in his office, Mr. Moody. Please come back in forty minutes. I will tell him that you wanted to see him as soon as he is back," Clara, the friendly secretary, said.

"Okay, I will be back then." Stepping into the elevator again cost him quite some willpower. At least he only had to survive three stops. The Auror Department was organized as always. It was completely different from the rest of the Ministry.

"In trouble again, Severus?" Minos, the old Auror who had caught Severus the day he had stolen the Prophet, asked when he met him in the hall.

"No, I wanted to see Kings-Minister Shacklebolt, but he has no time. Alastor told me to go to Tonks if he isn't there. He doesn't want me to run around on my own for too long." Severus pulled a face. As if he was a baby.

"And he is totally right, my boy. Many unkind persons run around her. I'm surprised he let you go alone at all. Unfortunately, I need to tell you that Tonks isn't here as well. She is on duty outside. Did Alastor give you another location to wait in case she isn't available?" He already knew the answer as he had worked long enough with Alastor. The man did not take any chances. He would have given Severus straight instructions, but he wanted to see if the boy had learned his lesson about lying.

Severus looked down. He definitely did not want to spend the next half an hour with Arthur. It was bad enough that he would see him the whole weekend.

"Still with me, boy?" Minos asked.

Severus' head snapped up. "Can't I just wait in front of her office?"

"Was that the instruction Alastor gave you?"

"No," Severus replied grumpily.

"So you want to get in trouble with him?"

"No."

"Then I would suggest you tell me where he wanted you to go."

"It will only be thirty minutes until Kingsley comes back."

"So it will be only thirty minutes you have to stay with-?"

Severus sighed. "Arthur Weasley."

Minos chuckled. "I better take you there myself. I have free time now."

-II-

"So you want to get in trouble with him?"

"No."

"Then I would suggest you tell me where he wanted you to go."

"It will only be thirty minutes until Kingsley comes back."

"So it will be only thirty minutes you have to stay with-?"

Severus sighed. "Arthur Weasley."

Minos chuckled. "I better take you there myself. I have free time now."

-II-

With his head hanging, Severus let Minos lead him to Arthur's office.

"Hello, Arthur, it seems Alastor gave this young man here instructions to wait with you until Minister Shacklebolt is back to speak with him."

Arthur looked up from his paperwork. "Oh, hello Minos, Severus. Come in." He gestured for the two who still stood in the doorway to enter.

"No, I have to go. I just brought Severus here. Can you bring him up to the Minister in half an hour?"

"I can go alone. Alastor said so."

"I will bring him up. Thanks, Minos."

Why did the adults always ignore him? Severus had thought Alastor and Poppy were treating him like an infant, but those people here were even worse.

"It was nice to see you again, and most importantly not on working terms, Severus," Minos said, chuckling, and patted Severus' shoulder before he left.

"Why such a long face, Severus?" Arthur asked and went over to guide the boy into one of the chairs in front of his desk.

Severus shrugged. "I wanted to spend time with Kingsley. Harry and I hoped he could help us with a gift for Poppy. Now I will hardly have time to speak with him, let alone about a gift."

"There is still some time, Severus. Two weeks, right?"

"Yeah, but it was hard enough to convince Alastor to take me with him today. How shall we get a gift at Hogwarts?"

"You know what? If Kingsley can't help you, we will all look for a nice gift on Saturday in London. I'm certain Molly would love to go shopping again." Now that the twins had their own business, the Weasley family was a little better off.

"Really?" Severus asked, surprised. Maybe staying at the Burrow would not be so bad.

"Sure. Are you okay with spending the weekend with us? Molly and I were a bit worried that you wouldn't take it well that you need to stay with us."

Severus looked down and shrugged his shoulders. He did not want to lie to Arthur. The man knew that Severus always tried to avoid coming to the Burrow. Molly was even more coddling than Poppy.

"I see. I promise I will try to hold Molly back, but I fear you will have to suffer a few hugs. I can't change her nature completely, so just try to remind her that you are not fond of cuddling. Or has that changed already?"

Severus frantically shook his head.

Arthur chuckled. "How is school going, Severus? Did you find some friends?"

"It's...okay. I have a few problems. My magic isn't working right, but I can think straight now that Albus and Radgarid have organized my mind. Radgarid is the Indian professor who is staying with us this year. Did you hear about him?"

Arthur was surprised that Severus was speaking so openly with him, but he tried hard to not show it. Alastor had told him that Severus was more open now, but still grumpy at times, especially in the morning. The Severus in front of him was very different from the adult Severus. He had been on good terms with Severus, but the younger wizard had always avoided meeting Molly as he hated to be touched and asked personal questions. It was a mystery to Arthur why Severus had agreed to live with Poppy and Alastor as an adult. Molly had said it was because he wanted the coddling but was too proud to admit it openly. That was Molly's excuse to fuss over Severus whenever he had to come over to the Burrow.

"Yes, I heard about him. He has a student with him, right?"

"Yes, Hamid. He is...nice." The rest of the time of waiting for Kingsley was spent with Severus telling Arthur about Hamid and the elemental magic training. Anytime Severus tried to distract Arthur from himself by telling him things about Harry, the man saw straight through his tactic and brought the subject back to Severus. In the end, Arthur knew about Severus' friends and his problems with Binns. He had vehemently avoided the questions about eating and the nutrient potion. When the fireplace flared and Kingsley stepped out of it, Severus was hoarse.

"Hey," he greeted Severus and opened his arms for the now familiar hug.

Severus quickly hugged Kingsley and then said good-bye to Arthur. Unfortunately, Kingsley had no idea what they could give to Poppy beside something handmade or sweets. So they spent their time together talking about Radgarid and practicing spells. Kingsley was a great teacher, but even he could not make the barriers in Severus' mind and magical system vanish. Nobody knew what was casing Severus' channel system to recover and rebuild so slowly. Kingsley, as all the other adults, had been glad to see that Severus accepted the daily magic feeds without protesting. They had all feared more protest from Severus, but it seemed Severus was seeing the benefit of it. He felt much better after a feed and he felt powerful and full of energy for a few hours. That helped his self esteem and that helped him with his problems in school.

So Severus had finally managed one of the defense shields he had to master for Defense Against the Dark Arts with Kingsley's help. Severus was eager to show it to Harry.

X-X

Severus grumpily packed his bag for the weekend at the Burrow. The boys had gotten special pocket money as Arthur and Molly had informed them they were planning to go to London tomorrow. Maybe it was because Alastor and Poppy were feeling guilty for leaving the boys alone.

Harry had hoped that Ron would be allowed to come with them, but Albus had not allowed it. So it was only Severus and Harry at the Burrow with Arthur and Molly, but Charlie had promised to come over on Sunday and bring the boys back in the evening.

Poppy kissed them both soundly and Alastor gave them a hug before they stepped into the fireplace and Flooed to the Burrow. Molly was already waiting for them and after hugging them they were quickly guided over to the big kitchen table where a plate of freshly-baked cookies sat. "Eat, boys. You two need to gain some more weight. You're looking very thin."

Severus had the feeling Molly was very excited to have children back at home. She was all over them until Arthur came back from the Ministry and stopped her cuddling as he had promised Severus. They spent the evening in the living room reading and playing cards. All in all, the first day was not as bad as Severus had feared, but it was only a few hours, and they had still two more days in front of them.

Unfortunately the night was not as good as the day. Severus sometimes had bad pains in his hands, and lucky as he was lately, they started to hurt while he was at the Burrow. The pain was so bad that he could not fight tears. The only possibility he had besides waking Arthur and Molly was to cool his hands. So he sneaked out of the room he shared with Harry and went for the bathroom. He tried to put up a Silencing Spell, but his hands were too painful and so he smashed the mirror in his attempt and then tried to repair it before someone would notice. He was in pain, and the frantic attempt to repair the mirror by magic was not helping.

"Severus, stop," Arthur said and placed his hand over Severus' and gently pried the wand out of it.

"I'm sorry. I'll pay for it. I have money," Severus blurted out in a rush.

"Shh, it's all right, Severus. Don't worry. Why are you awake? What's wrong?"

"Severus, oh Merlin, are you all right?" Molly exclaimed, shocked when she came into the bathroom. She pushed her husband aside and was all over Severus, prodding him until she had found the problem. "Why didn't you wake us, Severus?"

Severus was unable to talk. He was embarrassed and tired and, most important, in pain.

"Come on, Poppy gave me some salve for your hands. Let's see if it helps." A blanket was wrapped around him and he was placed on the couch in the living room. The salve cooled his hands but they still hurt a lot, so Molly gave him a Pain-Relieving Potion. Ten minutes later after a talk about how to behave next time he was in pain, he was in his bed again. To Severus' horror, Molly did not leave. She sat on his bed and gently stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

The next morning, the mirror was in one piece and back in place. Molly was checking Severus' hands before breakfast, which made Harry aware that there had been a problem last night. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Severus glared at Harry. What could he have done?

"It was good he didn't wake you, Harry. You couldn't have done much. Severus knows what to do if he feels bad again tonight, right?" She looked seriously at Severus, who nodded weakly.

To change the topic, Arthur said, "We'll leave for London in an hour. Do you already know what you want to buy for Poppy?"

"No," Harry replied. "But we would like to buy some sweets and look for a flower and plant shop. Poppy likes plants."

"I think that would be a good idea. If you don't find a plant, you could still buy her a book. Or you can buy some material to make a nice picture frame and we take a picture of you two and put it in. I think she would love that," Molly suggested.

"Yes, that sounds great. What do you think, Sev?" Harry asked, excited. He loved to be at the Burrow.

Severus shrugged. It was early, too early for his taste, and Molly's hot chocolate was not as refreshing as Poppy's. Now that Severus thought about it, he realized that Poppy's hot chocolate was sometimes refreshing. At other times, it made him relaxed and sleepy. He had never wondered about it before, but now he became suspicious.

"Too early for enthusiasm, I fear," Harry commented in Molly's and Arthur's direction.

"I'm in the room," Severus protested, but the two adults smiled at Harry.

X-X

"Oh, look, isn't that cute?" Molly said and pointed at a little teddy bear close to the front of a toy shop. "Let's go in and have a closer look."

"We can't buy Poppy a plushy," Severus stated, puzzled.

"Of course not, but maybe we can find one for you two," Molly said when they were in the shop.

Severus stopped abruptly, but Arthur caught him before he could bolt out. "Just let her buy one and be over with it. She won't stop nagging you otherwise."

Severus had the feeling his head was aflame and he was relieved to see that Harry was equally embarrassed.

"I really don't need a plushy, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said.

"Every child needs a plushy. Come on, I'm sure each of you will find one. Give me the pleasure of buying you one." Getting soft at her pleading look, Harry started to rummage in the pile of plushies. "You too, Severus."

Arthur gave Severus a soft shove, and Severus reluctantly rummaged through the stuffed animals after checking that nobody was watching him beside the Weasleys.

"Hey, I found one that looks like your Animagus form, Harry," Severus said, excited, but still lowered his voice. He showed Harry a gray wolf plushy.

"Yeah, it's cool." Harry took the plushy and looked it over. When he looked up at Severus, he was smiling at him. A really happy smile. "Let's find one for you," Harry said and Severus' smile vanished.

Harry laughed. "Look at that! Alicia would like it." He held up something that looked surprisingly similar to the compost moles they had been watching last month in Care of Magical Creatures.

"It's ugly." Severus sighed when he looked at the pile of plushies, but then his eyes feel on a small cat plushy. It was black and only half as big as Harry's. The eyes were green and it had a small pink nose. "I take this one." He grabbed it and was startled when it started to purr. He almost let it fall in surprise.

"Oh fine, fine, fine," Molly said, clapping her hands in excitement. The stuffed animals were bought and Severus grinned at Harry, who was unable to hide the plushy in his robes because the wolf was too big.

The rest of the day in London was very successful. Severus and Harry bought an unusual plant in a plant shop. It was a flower with a blossom like a daisy but much bigger, and it had a face. The blossom was following all their movements and tilted her head as if she wanted to encourage them to speak with her. It seemed her tactic worked on Molly, and the blossom smiled at Molly when she addressed her in a gentle tone. She dashed her long eyelashes and waved her leaves proudly when Molly praised her beauty.

Severus and Harry knew instantly that this would be the perfect gift for Poppy. She loved to talk with her plants and was sure that doing so made them healthier. Molly offered to keep the plant until Poppy's birthday. Now the burden of getting a good gift was lifted of the boys' chests. The rest of their money was spent in the sweet shop and on some new magazines-Severus, one on gardening, and Harry, one on wizarding sports.

The night was unspectacular because Harry and Severus were so exhausted that they fell asleep the moment they were brought to bed by Molly and Arthur. The next morning, both woke up with their plushies in arm even though they swore that they had not taken them to bed. To be honest, both boys liked their stuffed animals. Severus felt very relaxed by the gentle purring of the small cat, and Harry liked to play with the rough and chaotic fur of his wolf.

Charlie came shortly after breakfast and they spent most of the day with him and one of Arthur's toy cars outside in the garage. They made it fly and flip flop when it came close to a wall. When Poppy and Alastor came to fetch them, both boys were sad to leave. The weekend had been very nice.

-II-

Severus and Harry knew instantly that this would be the perfect gift for Poppy. She loved to talk with her plants and was sure that doing so made them healthier. Molly offered to keep the plant until Poppy's birthday. Now the burden of getting a good gift was lifted of the boys' chests. The rest of their money was spent in the sweet shop and on some new magazines-Severus, one on gardening, and Harry, one on wizarding sports.

The night was unspectacular because Harry and Severus were so exhausted that they fell asleep the moment they were brought to bed by Molly and Arthur. The next morning, both woke up with their plushies in arm even though they swore that they had not taken them to bed. To be honest, both boys liked their stuffed animals. Severus felt very relaxed by the gentle purring of the small cat, and Harry liked to play with the rough and chaotic fur of his wolf.

Charlie came shortly after breakfast and they spent most of the day with him and one of Arthur's toy cars outside in the garage. They made it fly and flip flop when it came close to a wall. When Poppy and Alastor came to fetch them, both boys were sad to leave. The weekend had been very nice.

-II-

"Only three more days until Poppy's birthday. I wonder if she will like the plant," Harry said while he trotted beside Severus.

"Of course she will. She will finally have a plant that reacts to her talking. She will love it," Severus said.

"I can't understand why Hamid didn't want to come with us. I'm so glad that we are allowed to go to Hogsmeade."

"I can't believe they let us go. Until now, they've treated us like infants. 'Don't go here, don't go there, and most important, don't go anywhere alone.'"

"Come on, Severus. They're worried. There are still some-"

"People out there who want us dead. I know, but I hate it. We are not even allowed to stay alone in our quarters for one weekend. No, we have to spend time at the Burrow."

"Yeah, it would be cool to be alone at home for a day or two. We could sneak into Alastor's library."

Severus snorted. "Sneak there alone. I don't want to be unable to sit again, and I also don't want to stand in a stupid corner for the whole day. You, of course, would get away with it easily."

"Dream on. You forget about when I was late and he made me write lines, or when I whined about taking that stupid potion just because Poppy feared I would catch a cold when I got a bit wet outside. He made me stand in the corner for over fifteen minutes and I had an early bedtime. You've never gotten an early bedtime."

"But I'm in the corner more often than you," Severus protested.

"Because you get yourself into much more trouble than me."

"Hmpf."

"Hmpf."

After five minutes of silence, Harry asked, "Where are we supposed to meet Alicia and Oliver?"

"They will wait for us at Honeydukes," Severus stated and pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. His hands were almost fully healed, and Maria came only twice a week now for his exercises, but they hurt in the cold weather. His magic system still was not working properly. No one could explain it. His channel system seemed to develop, but the magic was not flowing correctly through it. He lost a lot of energy from his core when his magic traveled through his channels to his wand or his hands during elemental magic. Something was hindering him. Maybe his unconsciousness. Or maybe he was pressuring himself too much. Radgarid and the other adults always told him to not worry and to stop pressuring himself, but that was easy for them to say. Until now, Severus had not moved even a single grain of sand, and that frustrated him to no end because he could feel the magic in the soil but could not use it.

They were close to Honeydukes when Harry paused. "Did you hear that?"

"What?" Severus asked. He was cold and wanted to get inside one of the shops to get his hands warm again.

"The screaming. It came from over there," Harry said and turned in the direction of a small alley. Severus had his wand out in a second and followed Harry into the alley which became smaller and smaller.

Harry could feel his heart beat in his chest and he clutched his wand tightly. The screams were awful and became louder and louder. It sounded as if a small child was screaming in agony. When Harry tried to step around a corner, Severus grabbed his shoulder and pushed him behind himself.

Severus made sure Harry would stay behind him and rounded the corner. What met his eyes made him stop and freeze in shock. Two boys stood in the dark alley holding a small creature-a cat if Severus was guessing right. The animal screamed because the boys had broken its legs and were poking one of its eyes out with a knife. "Stop it!" Severus screamed. Images were racing through his mind. His father standing over him with his belt, screaming at him that he was scum. He felt the pain of the poor cat as he had felt the welts on his body from the belt. But the worst was that he felt the shock and confusion at those boys who were actually hurting the poor creature. Severus had felt like that before. He had not understood how someone who should love him would hurt him like this. He wanted them to stop, and he wanted the creature to flee. It had to live and see that not all people were cruel.

The boys laughed evilly and poked the knife deeper while the other boy held the cat. "And what if I don't? I like its screaming. Nobody will miss this stupid worthless piece of scum. It wouldn't have survived the winter." He pulled the knife out of the cat's eye and grabbed it from his friend. "Time to snap your neck."

"No!" Severus screamed and ran over to them.

Everything happened in slow motion and then suddenly sped up. Severus' feet were moving on their own when the blond boy closed his hands around the cat's head and looked provokingly at Severus. Out of the corner of his eye, Severus could see the other boy draw his wand. Then the healthy eye of the cat met his and the world stood still. The creature was causing something to shift inside his head and a wave ran through his whole body. The cat was pleading for him to help, and Severus had to be able to do so. How much had he always hoped someone would help him when his father beat him and treated him like he was not worth anything?

It felt like an explosion. Blue light was all around Severus and he could only hear a buzzing in his ears. He saw the boys fall down. He realized that he was on his knees and tried to struggle for control over his limbs to get to the animal and protect it. The buzzing was painful, and he felt as if he weighed a ton.

Hands were touching his shoulder, and he was turned onto his back. He tried to struggle because he could not see the cat anymore. The cat was all that mattered. He needed to protect her. "It must live. It can't die. I need to protect it. Let me go!"

He could not see who was holding him down. It was as if his eyes were made to only see the cat. He could not hear it over the buzzing, and he only remembered how it had hit the ground and remained motionless. It could not be dead. No, it just could not. Slowly, the buzzing stopped and he could hear voices.

"Severus, you should not move. Please lay down," Albus said and tried to press Severus down, but the long-haired boy still tried to get closer to the cat.

"The cat! I must rescue it. It mustn't die. Let me see it."

"Severus, you are hurt. You need to stay still. The Healers will be here soon."

"No!" He fought with all his might.

"Look, Sev, I have it. Harry and I will take care of it." Hagrid's head appeared in Severus' vision, and he looked down to see the cat in Hagrid's hands. It was motionless and its eyes were closed.

"I failed. I left her alone," Severus said miserably and then the world went black.

X-X

The light was too bright for his room. Severus blinked, and then he realized with horror that he was not in his room. He was not even in the Hospital Wing. This was a hospital. His head hurt and his whole body was prickling oddly. He heard a shuffling beside him and turned his head to see Alastor entangling himself from a soft armchair at his bedside.

"How are you, my boy?" Alastor looked old and very tired. Something bad must have happened. Severus tried to remember.

"What happened?"

"James will be here soon. Just don't move too much, Severus."

Avoiding answers was not a good sign, and Severus racked his brain about what had happened.

The door opened and James came in. "Hello, Severus. How are you feeling?"

"What happened? Why am I in a clinic?"

"Why don't you answer my question first, and then we will try to find the answers to yours?"

Severus groaned. "My head is hurting and my body is...prickling. As if my limbs have fallen asleep."

"Okay, let's see what we can find," James said more to himself then to Severus and started to wave his wand. Then he laid his hand on Severus' chest and forehead.

"What happened?" Severus asked again and looked at Alastor. His adoptive father was looking so concerned that Severus became scared.

"Stop trying to remember, Severus. The memory will come back soon enough. Try to sit up." James helped Severus and then gave him his wand.

"Maybe we should wait, James," Alastor said and stepped closer to Severus.

Severus looked puzzled first at Alastor and then at James. What was going on?

"No, I want him to try. Come on, Severus, light your wand."

Severus stared at James but then waved his wand. A jet of magic flew from Severus' core through his body and arm before exploding out of his wand. The light was so bright that Severus could not see anything for the next few seconds and let his wand drop. "What the hell was that?"

"Your magic," James said, grinning. "I suggest you learn to control the amount of energy you use from now, but first I need to check how much you have used right now and how long you will need to refill it."

It was as if the magic had flashed the fog in his mind away and suddenly Severus could remember the alley, the boys, and the cat. "The cat! Hagrid. I need to see him."

"Easy, Severus," James said and pressed Severus back onto the bed and let calming magic flow into him.

"Is it alive?" Severus feared the answer, but he needed to know. The silence that followed made him close his eyes. A hot pain went though his chest.

"You can see Hagrid in a few hours. He will come over, Severus. Try to sleep until then." The magic flow changed and Severus fell asleep. The worry about the cat had been so prominent that he did not realize what he had done with his wand a few minutes ago.

X-X

"Hey, Sev. How are yeh?" Hagrid asked while he sat down on the stool beside Severus' bed. It creaked dangerously but seemed to withstand the half giant's weight.

"Is it dead?"

Hagrid looked sad. He looked around as if to check if the coast was clear. Carefully, he reached into his cloak and pulled out a small black thing. "Poppy helped me, but he's in a bad shape. It seems he had quite a shock and has now lost his will to live."

Severus eyed the tiny creature. It fit perfectly in Hagrid's hand. "Can I?"

"Here," Hagrid said and placed the cat beside Severus on the bed.

Severus gently touched the cat and stroked its fur. When he scratched it behind its ear, it moved a bit and started to purr. Severus could see the eye, or rather the place where the eye should have been. It was stitched closed.

"He's real tiny. He isn't eating. His bones are healed, and there migh' be a chance that his eye will get better. Maybe he could even see with it, at least a bit. Unfortunately, he's not willing to live."

"But you need to live, little one," Severus said and pulled the cat closer. He lifted his blanket over half of the cat and patted its head. Eventually, the cat lifted its head and turned around to look with his good eye at Severus. Again, Severus had the feeling the cat was looking directly into his soul, and he tried to give the tiny creature a message with his eyes. He tried to convince the cat to live. "I will take care of you. I will show you that not all people are like them. Please, you need to eat."

"Hagrid," James said, scolding, when he came into the room. "When the nurses see this, they will go berserk." He quickly closed the door.

"But Sev needed to see him. He was worried."

James sighed and steeped closer. "And you think now he is less worried?" He looked skeptically at the small cat.

Hagrid shrugged. "He needed to see him."

"I won't let you take him away from me! I promised to take care of him." Severus looked challengingly at James.

"Let me check you, Severus. Maybe I can let you go home after we've had a talk."

Severus lay still while James scanned him. When he was finished, he looked at Hagrid. "Take the cat with you. I will talk with Severus. He can return home in about an hour."

"No!" Severus protested and pulled the cat closer, careful not to hurt or startle it. "I won't leave him alone again. You cannot make me!"

"Severus, you can see him in an hour."

"No!"

James sighed. "Fine."

Severus looked up, surprised. He had not thought James would give in so easily.

When Hagrid left, James sat down in a big armchair and watched Severus.

"What?" Severus asked, annoyed. Severus had accepted James as his Healer, but he still felt safer around Maria, especially when it came to talking about uncomfortable topics. Not that Severus ever easily agreed to speak about things that unsettled him with Maria.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Severus? You did some very impressive accidental magic in the alley. The two boys were hit hard and are still at St. Mungo's."

Severus frowned. "You don't want me to feel sorry for them, do you? They tortured the cat. Nobody should do something like that to someone or something."

"Was it the first time you saw someone doing something like this to someone else?"

Severus looked at James as if he had gone mad. "I was a Death Eater, remember?"

"I just want to talk with Severus the teenager now. The memories of your first and your new childhood should be prominent in your mind right now. Or do you remember memories of your time as a Death Eater lately?"

"No," Severus muttered and cradled the cat in his lap. He had not thought about his former adult self a lot lately.

"So just answer my question and leave your memories of the adult Severus out of this."

Severus did not want to talk about it. "I'm tired. Maybe I should sleep. I lost a lot of magic, right?"

"Why don't you want to answer my question, Severus?" James asked as calm as ever.

"I'm just tired. You and Maria and Poppy always say I should listen to my body and lay down if I'm tired."

"But you aren't listening to your body right now, because otherwise you would talk with me to get whatever is burdening you off your chest."

"There is nothing. I just wanted to help a cat that got tortured."

"Tell me about your former experiences of situations like that."

"I never saw someone torture a cat before."

"Maybe not a cat. What about another animal?"

So James had no idea what had really triggered that accidental magic. Severus saw his chance. "I saw someone...torture a dog."

James eyed Severus for some time and then stated very calmly, "I can tell when you are lying to me, Severus. Would you feel better talking to Maria about it?"

"You can't tell if I'm lying or not. You aren't allowed to use Legilimency on me." The cat meowed miserably to show its displeasure at Severus' loud tone. "I'm sorry, little one. I will never shout at you. You don't have to be scared of me."

"Have you ever been scared of someone who shouted at you, Severus?"

Severus glared at James. He hated it when he or Maria always interpreted his actions or his words and tried to find a deeper meaning behind them. "I'm tired."

"You're trying to avoid my questions, Severus. Accidental magic at your age is very unusual, and the amount of magic you set free in that alley was even more unusual. Until now, I've only seen things like this happen if someone has repressed something for a long time and a traumatic event set those memories and feelings free. What did you suppress, Severus? What have you seen or experienced that made you lose control in the alley?"

"Nothing," Severus said quickly.

James looked thoughtfully at Severus for a moment. "Tell me who you would feel able to speak about it to."

"There is nothing to speak about. I'm all right. Nobody did this to me. Nobody..." He stopped, realizing that he had said too much, even though James had not moved a muscle and was looking as calm as before.

"Those memories and the feeling that is attached to it won't go away on their own. You need to talk about it."

"It was out of my mind for a long time. Talking about it will not make it better. It's only back because you all won't stop poking around."

"I have not been in that alley, Severus. Something else had brought that memory back up from wherever you had buried it in your mind."

-II-

"You're trying to avoid my questions, Severus. Accidental magic at your age is very unusual, and the amount of magic you set free in that alley was even more unusual. Until now, I've only seen things like this happen if someone has repressed something for a long time and a traumatic event set those memories and feelings free. What did you suppress, Severus? What have you seen or experienced that made you lose control in the alley?"

"Nothing," Severus said quickly.

James looked thoughtfully at Severus for a moment. "Tell me who you would feel able to speak about it to."

"There is nothing to speak about. I'm all right. Nobody did this to me. Nobody..." He stopped, realizing that he had said too much, even though James had not moved a muscle and was looking as calm as before.

"Those memories and the feeling that is attached to it won't go away on their own. You need to talk about it."

"It was out of my mind for a long time. Talking about it will not make it better. It's only back because you all won't stop poking around."

"I have not been in that alley, Severus. Something else had brought that memory back up from wherever you had buried it in your mind."

-II-

"Hey, Paulus," Harry said and petted the cat's head when it hopped over to him on its three working legs, pulling the stiff one behind. The cat purred and rubbed his head on Harry's hand. First Harry had been scared to hurt the bad eye more when the cat rubbed himself so vigorously on his legs or hand, but now two weeks after Paulus had moved in with them, he was used to it. "Hey, Sev, Hamid is waiting for us at Hagrid's. Are you ready?"

Severus was pulling his thick Weasley sweater over his head. It was blue with a green S on the front. "I'm almost done. I was hoping to talk to Radgarid before we leave. Is he back?"

"I saw him in the living room with his nose in that old tomb he got by owl post yesterday. Shall I wait for you here or at Hagrid's?"

"Down at the hut. Here-" Severus scooped Paulus up and gave him to Harry. "Take Paulus with you. Hagrid wanted to check him over again. Maybe he and Poppy can remove the stitches from his eyes soon."

"Do you think he will be able to see with it again?"

Severus shrugged. "Who knows, but he gets along with only one eye quite well, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but two is better. What about you? You still look bad. What if they put you back in the clinic over Christmas? I don't want to be alone here again. Why don't you just tell them what they want to hear?"

"Because it's my head and my memories and my body. I know what's right." Severus became louder and glared at Harry.

"I would say your tactic isn't working, Sev. You aren't sleeping well lately, you wake up with nightmares, and you hardly eat. Please listen to me for once. They'll do something about it soon and I have a bad feeling it will involve you going to a clinic again until they find out what caused your magic to explode and what's making you feel so bad lately."

"I feel bad because they don't stop asking me about it. That's all. It's all their fault; not mine. As for my magic exploding, who cares why? All that counts is that it burned away my damaged channels and blew my new ones free. I can use my magic now almost as good as before. I just have to learn to measure the magic from my core. That's all. I'm already much better in classes, but does anybody see that? No. They just nag me about the why and what. I'm tired of it." He slammed the door on his way out, and Harry stood in the middle of the room, stroking Paulus to assure him that everything was all right. At least for Paulus it would be.

X-X

"Radgarid? Ehm... can I talk to you?"

"Sure," Radgarid said, looking up from his book.

"Ehm...somewhere else? Your room?"

Radgarid eyed Severus closely.

"I already promised you to start training you again. Only one more day to wait, Severus."

"It's not about that."

Radgarid stood up and gestured Severus to follow him. After stepping into Radgarid's room, Severus closed the door and waved his wand to put a Silencing Spell up.

"So what's so important and secret?" Radgarid moved a chair close to Severus and sat down on one opposite to Severus.

"You must promise not to tell Poppy and Alastor."

Radgarid snorted. "First, I will not promise something like that. They are your parents now, and if I think it is important for them to know, I will tell them. Second, you should be careful how to phrase you conditions next time. I could have easily agreed to it and then I could have gone to Albus or Minerva and just ask them to tell Alastor and Poppy. So stop the tactical play and tell me what's wrong."

Severus sighed and looked down. He had no chance against Radgarid. The man knew almost everything and could read him like a book. He was even worse than Alastor and Albus. "But if you tell them, they will tell Maria and James, and then I won't be home for Christmas, and-"

Radgarid held his hand up, and Severus stopped. "That's too fast for me, Severus. Let me see what I caught. You are worried that what you tell me about will concern your parents and your Healer so much to send you away. To a clinic, I presume, and you fear it would be bad enough to keep you away long enough to miss Christmas here. Was that right?"

Severus was pale and he looked fearfully at Radgarid. Maybe this was a bad idea. "Ehm...I forgot I need to meet Harry. I have to go." He stood up, but a hand around his wrist pulled him back in his chair.

"You will stay, Severus. You started it, and now you will bring it to an end. What did you want to tell me?"

"I wanted to ask you for something," Severus muttered.

"And that would have been?"

Severus breathed in deeply. "A few months ago, you put some of my memories far away in my mind, right?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, ehm...could you maybe put some others away for me?"

"Memories of your adult self?"

"Ehm...no." Severus cautiously looked up and saw Radgarid looking seriously at him.

"Are you referring to those memories your Healers have been trying to get you to speak about lately?"

Severus gulped. He had hoped Radgarid had not gotten wind of it by now, but it seems nothing could stay secret in these quarters.

"Severus, look at me." Radgarid lifted Severus' chin, and he had no other choice but to look at the old man. "Placing those memories somewhere deep into your mind would not solve your problems. Most likely there are more memories connected to it, and playing around with a mind like that is dangerous. You could go insane and do things you don't want to do. Maybe someday something like in the alley will happen again, and not even my or Albus' locks on a door in your mind will be able to hold it. It will burst open, and in the worst case, you could go insane."

"But you put all my adult memories away."

"Temporarily, Severus. We put them away because your young mind was overwhelmed. We will release them one by one later when you are adult. If you want to remember them, you still can, Severus. You know that. They will just not contain feeling."

"But that's good. That what I need for these other memories as well. I can stand the pictures but..."

"But?"

"It doesn't help talking about it. I swear. I know it. I was okay when I could practice Occlumency."

"Do you have any idea what could have happened in that alley? Remember, you weren't alone. Harry was with you. What if your magic had lashed out at him? What if you had hurt him or even killed him? That magic burst was huge, Severus. At the moment, you still receive regular magic feeds from powerful wizards and witches. No block I set to blur those memories could withstand a trigger like that. You must have felt the same feeling in your traumatic experience as you felt at that moment, or you must have transferred your feelings to another person or...animal, Severus. This combination made your magic react. Nothing could have stopped it besides a good talk about those feelings and experiences in the first place. Putting them away only turns them into ticking time bombs."

Severus looked desperately at Radgarid, slowly realizing what the old man was saying.

"All in all, everyone has a good guess regarding what triggered that outburst, Severus. Your former childhood had never been revealed completely. You must have been a good actor for a long time and pushed people away from you as a teen and an adult, but even so, some pieces were revealed in the past and gave us enough to guess and make our conclusions. And those who are trained to help people with such problems would even have found out much more, I guess. I don't have to be a Healer to see that you have not been sleeping well lately, that you snap at Harry much more than usual, and that you try to avoid your parents. You even shy away from their touches lately. That's not normal, Severus. You are making your life harder. Talking about it would help. I know you don't see it like that, but believe me, I have much more life experience than you, and your Healers have much more experience with traumatic childhoods and triggers and patients like you. If so many people think it would help to talk about it, why don't you give it a try?"

Severus was silent for a moment, but then he whispered, "Because it hurts."

"I know, but that's how life sometimes is. You got your magic back from that experience in the alley. That was the good part of it, but I'm quite sure you can handle the bad part as well. When is your next meeting with your Healers?"

"This evening. But I can't. I really can't. It's too awful. I don't want to think about it."

"But it is right here, Severus." Radgarid tapped with his finger against Severus' forehead. "It won't go away when it's trapped inside. It will hunt you down at night and during the day. It's a wonder it doesn't bother you anytime you look at your cat."

"It does," Severus mumbled.

"But you still kept him and treat him very well. That shows what a good character you have, Severus. You are a very good boy."

Severus' throat tightened. How much had he wished to hear something like this from his biological father? He had done everything for him. Even hated his magic and tried to ignore it. Never had he been able to do anything right. Even knowing that Tobias Snape was already dead for some time, Severus still wished he would have found a way to please his father. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Ask your parents. And I mean those who you can really call your parents, Severus."

Severus bit his bottom lip.

"What could make it easier for you to speak about it with your Healers?"

Severus shrugged.

"Please try to think about it."

"I...Poppy and Alastor already know some of what happened...back then."

"So?"

Severus sighed. "I don't know. I really don't want to talk about it. Why can't they just look into my head and be over with it?"

"I already told you that we all have a good idea of what happened, and your Healers may even know more than we do. We don't want to know about what happen or want to look in your head for it; we want to help you. And only talking about it and your feelings concerning it will help. You wouldn't do this for us but for yourself, Severus. You will see the nightmares will decrease and your appetite will come back. At least to the amount it had been before that day in Hogsmeade." Radgarid smiled at Severus. "Maybe it would help if Poppy and Alastor were around when you talk with James and Maria?"

"What if they don't want me anymore after?"

"Severus, look me straight in the eye and tell me if you really meant what you just asked. Do you really think Alastor and Poppy would love you less? You lived with them as an adult; they knew part of your childhood and I assume most of your adult life. They even knew about your Death Eater activities back when you were still loyal to that mad man. Still, they took you in, and still they learned to love you as their son. Aren't I right?"

Severus nodded.

Radgarid looked at his watch. "Your parents should be in the staff room right now. I will Firecall them and ask them to join us-"

"No!" Severus exclaimed, shocked, and tried to hold Radgarid back.

"I thought we were coming to an agreement, Severus? There is no other way. You need to talk about it, or I fear you really are right about your assumption that you won't be around for Christmas."

Severus let his head sink and then his hand. Around five minutes later, Poppy and Alastor were sitting close to him, and the four chairs built a circle.

"What's going on?" Alastor asked, worried.

Severus let his shoulder sink even lower. He had hoped Radgarid had already explained the situation to them.

"Severus would like to talk with you about something and wanted to ask you something. Right, Severus?"

His hands in his lap were suddenly very interesting for Severus.

"Severus, what's wrong? Are you feeling worse?" Poppy asked, and Severus knew she fought hard not to draw her wand to cast a Diagnostic Spell.

"I'm fi..." Severus sighed. "I...I have nightmares of...of something. I want them to stop." When nobody said anything, Severus went on. "You all say I have to talk about what triggered the blow in the alley, but I don't want to. I just want it to go away again."

"Severus," Poppy said softly and took his hand. "The memory won't just go away. You need to talk about it."

"But I already told you once about...I...he..."

"Severus, calm down. Please breathe," Poppy said and knelt down in front of him.

Severus made out more movement in the room, but at the moment he was too occupied with getting air into his lungs to wonder about it. A hand was placed on his chest and his forehead and he was pulled backwards against a warm, soft womanly chest. At that moment, he knew they had called Maria. When more magic flowed into him through his hands, he knew that James was called as well and was now running a diagnostic scan.

Ten minutes later, he was a shaking mess in Poppy's arms as he spilled out all his horrible memories about his father. Radgarid had left the room when they had settled down to talk and Severus was grateful for that. Four people were more than enough of an audience to see what a weak freak he was. Something had to be seriously wrong with him for his father to behave like that. He must be bad, why else would he have chosen to become a Death Eater?

"But you regained your place on the Light side after much effort, Severus. That shows the real Severus Snape. Now I'm damn proud of you. You are a good boy, and you had been a good man. All in all, you are a wonderful son, Severus. Your biological father was an idiot, and if he were still alive, I-"

"Alastor!" Poppy said warningly, but Severus felt so much better after Alastor's words.

"What he wants to say is that you are a normal teenager, Severus. We love you like you are. Sometimes you can be very grumpy, but that a part of your character, and we love you no matter what," Poppy added.

"But you punish me much more often than Harry. Something must be wrong with me."

"We punish you more than Harry because you never know when to quit and Harry can control himself much better. That's why Harry gets in more trouble for not being home in time or being careless and getting himself in danger. You are two different people, Severus. Do you ever see Alastor running confused through the quarters because he is looking for something he can't remember where he placed?"

Severus looked up confused. "No, but-"

"Let me finish, Severus. As a child, I often got in trouble with my parents for loosing things or misplacing them. Alastor never got in trouble for something like that. Still, he got in trouble for other things. He had a habit of doing dangerous things or talking back. Everyone is different, but that doesn't make one person more different or freakish. You and Harry have different characteristics and therefore always will be treated different. We choose the punishment to fit the crime. While Harry hates to have an early bedtime, you hate to be put in a corner to think about your crime. That doesn't make you worse than Harry. You both are very good boys. If you never got in trouble, we would worry because that would abnormal. Boys your age get into trouble for things like that. What your father did and said was wrong. You aren't bad, Severus. Sometimes you do bad things, but you are not bad."

"Will the nightmares go away now?" Severus asked hopefully.

Poppy sighed. "I fear it isn't so easy. The best way to get rid of them is to call us when you have one and talk about it immediately or at least the next day. We need to see what works best. Do you think you could try?"

Severus nodded. He wanted o get rid of the nightmares, and if that was the only way, he would try it.

-II-

"Let me finish, Severus. As a child, I often got in trouble with my parents for loosing things or misplacing them. Alastor never got in trouble for something like that. Still, he got in trouble for other things. He had a habit of doing dangerous things or talking back. Everyone is different, but that doesn't make one person more different or freakish. You and Harry have different characteristics and therefore always will be treated different. We choose the punishment to fit the crime. While Harry hates to have an early bedtime, you hate to be put in a corner to think about your crime. That doesn't make you worse than Harry. You both are very good boys. If you never got in trouble, we would worry because that would abnormal. Boys your age get into trouble for things like that. What your father did and said was wrong. You aren't bad, Severus. Sometimes you do bad things, but you are not bad."

"Will the nightmares go away now?" Severus asked hopefully.

Poppy sighed. "I fear it isn't so easy. The best way to get rid of them is to call us when you have one and talk about it immediately or at least the next day. We need to see what works best. Do you think you could try?"

Severus nodded. He wanted o get rid of the nightmares, and if that was the only way, he would try it.

-II-

"Come in," a gruff voice from inside bellowed, and Severus pushed the door open cautiously. Paulus was sitting on his shoulder.

"Hey, look who is here, Paulus," Severus said. He was barely halfway through the door when Mrs. Norris started climbing up his trouser leg. He grabbed Paulus from his shoulder and put him down beside the other cat. Both immediately started to sniff at each other and then bolted through the room like crazy.

"Another detention from Binns on a Sunday?" Argus asked when he saw that it was Severus who disturbed him.

"No, I'm just trying to escape from home. Harry is nagging me to come with him to the Weasleys' next weekend." Severus sat down on Filch's old couch and quickly lifted his legs to get them out of Paulus' and Mrs. Norris' path.

"The Christmas holiday starts next weekend. A bit of time outside the castle wouldn't hurt you," the old caretaker said and finished whatever paperwork he had by shoving some loose parchments into an already stuffed drawer.

"Don't start talking like the others. I came down here to be left alone."

"No, you came down here to let you miniature cat destroy my home," Argus said as he caught one of his ugly vases before it fell down shortly after Paulus had jumped on a shelf. Mrs. Norris sat under said shelf and meowed, frustrated because she at least knew that she would be in trouble for jumping up there. Obviously, Paulus knew so as well because he looked triumphantly down at her. "Here, my sweetie, try to not leave too much left after eating him. Not that there is much on him to be left over." Argus grabbed the small black cat from the shelf and placed him directly in front of Mrs. Norris. The moment Paulus' feet touched the ground he spurted away, but Mrs. Norris was faster and had the advantage of knowing the territory. She had Paulus pinned down in a second. Paulus hissed and threw himself on his back to bombard the much bigger cat with his good hind leg. It seemed that Mrs. Norris let him go just for the fun of it. Both cats ran wildly through the small flat again until they finally were exhausted and lay down on the carpet in front of the fireplace, grooming their fur.

"Most of the students will leave next Friday. That Indian friend of yours as well. So what do you want to do when Mr. Potter is off at the Weasleys?"

"I don't need any students or Harry to amuse me. There are tons of things I can do alone."

Filch snorted. Severus could pretend as much as he wanted, but Argus knew that Severus was no longer a loner. He spent most of his time together with Harry or his friends. He had even become closer to the Slytherins again since Malfoy had come back.

"What? It's true. Look, I'm here right now. Alone."

"Ah, so I'm nobody? Thank you. At least as an adult you refrained from blurting things like that out loud." Filch pretended to be hurt, but Severus knew him well enough to know that it was only show.

"You know what I mean. I didn't bring Harry or anyone else with me."

"So why don't you want to go with Harry to the Weasleys? I heard you already spent a weekend there and it went well. What about Professor Weasley? Isn't he visiting his parents over the holidays? "

"Yes, he is, but that doesn't mean I have to. This holiday will be dreadful."

Filch raised an eyebrow.

"I mean Christmas, Argus. As if that stupid holiday isn't bad enough. This time I have to live with Alastor and Poppy's idea of Christmas for the entire holiday. I had to spend Christmas Eve with them as an adult, but then I had the quarters to myself for almost a week because they were visiting their families. Now they're forcing us to attend." Severus pulled a disgusting face.

Filch chuckled. "They can hardly leave you at home. You would burn the quarters down or sneak into the potions lab and make something explode or-"

"I got it, Argus!" Severus glared at his old friend. "Still, it's ridiculous. They could leave me here...with you." Severus hoped he had asked that question casually enough and looked cautiously up into Argus' face.

"You got to be kidding, Severus. I will not keep you for the holidays. I appreciate your visits, but I won't take responsibility for you for almost a week. No, stop protesting, Severus!" he said when he saw the younger wizard move to talk. "You are twelve, and you are quite a troublemaker. Not that I care much in your case, but I know that your adoptive parents do care and will hold me responsible for anything that happens during their absence. Not even our long-term friendship will make me stand the wrath of the woman you call you adoptive mother. And you have no idea what kind of spells your adoptive father could cast on me; the headmaster wouldn't even have the faintest idea because Alastor Moody can be very dangerous and sneaky. So the answer to your unasked question is no, Severus."

Severus looked down sadly. "But I would behave."

Filch shook his head disbelievingly. Severus had truly caught him off guard with that request. "The problem is that you hardly get in trouble because you mean to, Severus. You are as much of a trouble magnet as you always accused your brother of being while you were an adult. And most importantly, your parents wouldn't even allow this. I'm nobody someone would give their children to for a few days while they are off."

"I could ask."

"No, Severus," Filch said sternly to make sure Severus finally give up his insane pleading. "What is so bad about visiting their relatives? Surely you've met them before. You lived with Alastor and Poppy for years."

Severus sighed. "Yes, I met them, or at least saw them via Floo. But now I'm a kid. Alastor's family won't be much of a problem. His brothers are okay enough, but Poppy's family will be horrible. All her sisters are mediwitches. And if that isn't enough, their husbands are all Healers. Well, one of them is a Potions Master, but what if he only sees me as a kid now and doesn't want to discuss potions with me anymore? They will all be over me and Harry, firing diagnostic spell after diagnostic spell. They live far away, but what if they read the Prophet? What if they read that article about me and Harry? They will think I'm suicidal. One of them is a Mind Healer. Oh no, what-"

"Damn, Severus, you're giving me a headache. Sometimes I wonder if you really are the same person as the calm and private Potions Master I got to know."

That stung even though Severus knew that Filch often said things like that without thinking about it or meaning it in a bad way. Deep inside, he knew that it was his teenage mind that made those words hurt, but he could not stop it. "Maybe I should go." He stood up sadly and went over to Paulus.

"Damn, Severus, I'm not good at that stuff," Argus said when he realized that Severus was hurt. "As an adult, you always knew how to take me. I'm not good with kids."

That stung even more, and Severus knew he had to leave or he would embarrass himself in front of Argus. "I know. It's all right." Severus needed to find something to distract himself, and the first thing-or rather, the first person-that came to his mind was Draco. "Can I leave Paulus here and come to fetch him later? I want to visit Draco, and Paulus doesn't like the Syltherin common room."

"Sure," Argus said shortly. It was awkward to talk with Severus when he was emotional like this, and Argus had no idea how to proceed. He was glad that Severus wanted to go now.

xxx

"Hey Sev, what's going on? You look sad."

"Just frustrated. Christmas is annoying."

Draco laughed. "Christmas means presents, Severus."

"Christmas means meeting people you don't want to meet."

"Don't be so sour, Sev," Draco said as he threw his arm around the Ravenclaw. "How are classes going? Need help with anything?"

"No, I just wanted to see you."

Draco eyed Severus. "There's something else besides Christmas, Sev. I can see it. What's bothering you? You look sad, not annoyed."

"There is nothing," Severus said and wriggled out from under Draco's arm.

Draco looked surprised. "We're friends, Sev. You can tell me what's bothering you."

"You wouldn't understand, Draco. I'll just go."

"Sev." Draco grabbed Severus' arm to stop him. "What wouldn't I understand? Please tell me."

Severus shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. Talking about it wouldn't help. Please let me go, Draco."

The case that Severus was not just pulling himself free to leave was reason enough for Draco to worry, but he had no idea how to handle the situation. So he let go of Severus. When the dark-haired boy rushed out of the Slytherin common room, Draco planned to bite the bullet and talk with Potter to see if he knew what was wrong with Severus.

XXX

Severus was glad that the greenhouse was empty so that he could sink down in front of one of the Splinterkrauts beds from which they had harvested only two days ago. His hands sank easily into the still loose soil, and Severus sighed. His hands were aching badly lately, but he had been successful in hiding it from Maria and James as their check-ups were only monthly now. The fact that they were concentrating on his mental health more than any physical problems was also helpful. He had to speak with one of them twice a month about his past with his abusive father and his ill and weak mother. Their normal diagnostic spells did not seem to detect the problem with his hands, and for the last two month there had not been a reason to scan his hands.

The cold soil was magic to his stinging hands, but his chest was still hurting from what Argus had said and his fear of the coming holidays. He tried to relax and feel the earth magic like Radgarid had taught him. The tiny sand grains moved under his hands, and Severus felt the magic flow into his body. It wasn't much, but Severus had learned to absorb a tiny bit of magic from the soil. He had done it a few times, especially when he was distressed. Today had been Minerva's turn to refill his magic, but Severus had not been able to relax. Too many things had gone through his mind, and maybe his core was still not satisfied. The earth magic helped and Severus relaxed. At least until an unwelcome voice spoke up behind him.

"Finally, I've got you alone, Snape."

Severus whirled around to face Greg. The boy was sneering at him, his hands in his pockets.

"Leroy sends his regards, and he wanted me to tell you he hopes you two will meet again soon. He's learned much at Durmstrang, and he would like to show you. He said you can bring your boyfriend with you. He would love to show him something as well for making the rest of the Gryffindors against us."

Severus felt anger boiling inside him. Greg had waited a long time before coming to him again. He had thrown him some nasty glares and even tripped him up when no one threatening was around, but he had never cornered him alone. The things he said and how he threatened him made Severus angry. He also felt scared that Leroy would find him. Why now, when he was having problems with his hands? He did not want to tell James or Maria about it in fear that they would make him do more painful exercises. He had felt so relieved when they were over. They had never stopped being painful. The pain had ebbed, but it had not vanished even though he had pretended so. The anger was just enough to overpower the fear.

Greg laughed evilly. "What, do you want to piss your pants now, Snape? Oh, or should I say Moody. Do you think that old pathetic cripple of a guardian of yours would scare us? No, he's no longer just a guardian, is he? He's your Daddy now. Does Severus have a Daddy now? Death Eaters like you don't deserve to have parents. You are the reason why many others have lost their parents. They should be disgusted by you."

The ground shook, and Severus was surprised that he had no problem holding his balance. When he looked at Greg again, he saw that the boy looked back in horror at him and tried to free his feet out of the ground that had started to swallow him. Suddenly, Severus realized that it was him who had done this. He had called Earth magic to attack Greg and he did not want it to stop. So he just watched as Greg sank deeper and deeper into the ground until Severus suddenly felt the string of magic that was attached between his core and the earth snap. With shock, Severus realized that Radgarid, who had just appeared in the greenhouse, was the reason for that stop of magic. A very angry Radgarid, to be exact.

"What the hell is going on here?" Radgarid asked.

"He attacked me. He wanted to kill me!" Greg said and pointed accusingly at Severus. He had been helped out of the ground by Radgarid and now tried to get rid of the soil on his trousers by shaking his legs.

"Is that true, Severus?"

Severus did not say anything. He was sick of all the adults. They decide what he could do and even what he could say. He had broken the most important rule Radagrid had set, not to use elemental magic for attacking someone.

"Severus?" Radgarid asked angrily.

"You saw what he did! You can't let him get away with that! Leroy was expelled just for trying to pee on him and giving him a slap! He tried to kill me!"

Memories flashed through Severus' mind. Memories of him saying almost the exact same words to Albus when Black had tried to kill him by tricking him into meeting Remus in his werewolf form. He was in big trouble. Severus knew that. Albus would not be as lenient with him as he had been with Black. He would be expelled. And what then? He lived at Hogwarts. Where should he go? He could not think much more about it because he was grabbed by his arm and pulled in the direction of the castle. Only a moment later they were in the headmaster's office.

Severus did not say anything. Not even when Alastor and Poppy had been called in. What would it matter? He would be expelled, and then he would be all alone. Twelve-years-old, defenseless, and all alone? Or would they send him to Azkaban? Those memories were no longer attached with feelings, but Severus knew that his time there had been very bad. He did not want to be sent there.

"Severus! Merlin, talk or I will forget myself," Alastor said and shook Severus. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Greg grin. "And you! Stop grinning or I will wipe it off your face!"

"Alastor, that isn't helping," Albus and Minerva said in unison. The Transfigurations teacher sat down beside Severus and leaned closer to him. "Mr. Moody, you are in big trouble. Attacking a student like this is not a prank. You should really tell us your view of it all. Otherwise things are not looking good for you."

"I didn't know it was me. It wasn't on purpose."

"He is lying!" Greg exclaimed.

"You are quiet, Mr. McConnor. You already had a chance to tell us your side of the story," Albus interrupted.

"What do you mean, you didn't know what happened?" Minerva asked.

"The ground was shaking suddenly, and I couldn't stop it." It seemed Minerva did not believe him completely. Severus must have lost his ability to lie during the potion accident.

"Okay, I realized it was me after a moment but... I didn't know how I started it, and I wanted him to be afraid. But I didn't want to harm him." He looked pleadingly at Minerva.

"That was very dangerous. Mr. McConnor could have been hurt badly."

"I'm very disappointed in you, Severus," Radgarid said. "I thought I could entrust you with magic like that. You should have stopped the moment you realized what was happening. You know that elemental magic should never be used to attack someone."

Severus let his head sink. "I know. I'm sorry."

"That's not enough, Severus." After a pause, Radgarid addressed the headmaster. "I'm sorry that I misjudged the ability of my student to control himself and to not abuse his abilities. It is, of course, my responsibility if my student abuses the knowledge he got from me."

Severus' head snapped up. What did that mean? Was Radgarid in trouble because he had done that?

Albus looked thoughtfully at Radgarid and then at Severus. "There is still one thing to clear up before we think about responsibilities or reactions. What had caused this? I can hardly believe your magic started to react on its own for nothing. What happened before the ground started to shake?" Albus' blue eyes pierced Severus' dark brown ones.

Severus wanted to stay silent, but seeing Albus' stern face, he decided against it and blurted out what Greg had said.

"All in all, you cannot be made responsible for the accidental magic, but from the moment you knew it was your magic you can be made responsible. You will be suspended from school for one week to think about what you did and what you could have done instead. As for you, Professor Montanassi, I need to speak with Mr. McConnor's parents if they want to press charges against you."

"But it was me! You cannot make him responsible!" Severus shouted and sprang up.

"Sit down, Mr. Moody," Albus said seriously. When Minerva had pulled the shocked Severus down on the couch again, Albus went on. "We both know that you as his teacher are responsible for whatever he does with elemental magic until your training has been completed and you have announced him to be responsible for himself. I take it you haven't done that yet?"

"Of course not. He is far from being able to take responsibility for his elemental magic. All charges will have to go in my direction, not his," Radgarid said, determined.

"No," Severus whispered and then looked up. "He gave you a way out. Why didn't you-? " Radgarid's expression made it perfectly clear how disappointed he still was. Severus lowered his head again. This was all too much.

"Mr. McConner, do you deny having said all those things? Be aware that I will be able to make Mr. Moody show me the memory in my Pensieve."

"No, I don't deny it," Greg said, defeated.

"You will have detention with Mr. Filch for the next two days. Ask him when he will need you. If I ever hear that you threatened Severus or anyone else in this school again, the consequences will be much worse. I will inform you when I have spoken with your parents. I'm sure they want to have a word with you as well. I will also have a word with your Healer. You should have made progress by now. You may go."

When the boy had left, Albus turned to Alastor. "I don't want Severus to wander around the castle during his suspension. The house-elves can deliver his meals to your quarters or to the Hospital Wing if you want him there for meals. Harry can supply him with homework."

"He would have been under house arrest anyway, Albus. He will not see any of his friends except for Harry." Alastor's voice cut like a knife through Severus' chest. It was clear he was very angry and disappointed.

"Fine. I think we will meet again after I have spoken with the McConnors."

"Of course," Alastor said, and all the adults stood up. Knowing there was no other choice, Severus followed suit.

-II-

When the boy had left, Albus turned to Alastor. "I don't want Severus to wander around the castle during his suspension. The house-elves can deliver his meals to your quarters or to the Hospital Wing if you want him there for meals. Harry can supply him with homework."

"He would have been under house arrest anyway, Albus. He will not see any of his friends except for Harry." Alastor's voice cut like a knife through Severus' chest. It was clear he was very angry and disappointed.

"Fine. I think we will meet again after I have spoken with the McConnors."

"Of course," Alastor said, and all the adults stood up. Knowing there was no other choice, Severus followed suit.

-II-

"What happened? They didn't expel you, did they? They can't!" Harry said when the group stepped out of the fireplace.

"Harry, go to your room and let us talk with Severus," Alastor said sternly. He had no idea how Harry already knew about the incident, but then again, the castle had eyes and ears everywhere.

"No! You need to help him, not be mad at him." He could see quiet clearly that Alastor was mad at Severus and that his brother was in for the tongue lashing of his life and maybe even more. Some students had even spoken about expulsion and Azkaban. "Surely it was Greg's fault. Severus would never attack him for nothing."

"We are not speaking with you right now, and if I recall correctly, you were in Gryffindor tower when Severus attacked Mr. McConnor. Now go to your-"

"No! You are our father now! You need to protect him, not being mad at him! I hate you!" The moment it was out, Harry regretted it, but he was so scared that Severus would be sent away. He felt Alastor grab his arm, and only seconds later his applicator was at his lips and he swallowed the potion Alastor was pressing to his mouth. He hadn't even noticed that he really was in need of it. "Now, you will take some time to cool off." Alastor pulled the still dazed Harry with him to the kitchen and placed him in a corner. "I will come back when I'm finished with Severus, and I hope for your own good that you are still with your nose in that corner thinking about what you just said. Then you will have all the time in the world to explain to me why exactly you hate me, Harry." With that, Alastor stormed out of the kitchen, leaving a very miserable boy behind.

"The training with Radgarid is, of course, canceled forever. You have proven to not be responsible enough to learn elemental magic. We cannot take away what you have already learned, but I at least hope you are responsible enough to never use it again. You have soiled Radgarid's good reputation as a master. Any more mistakes like today, and he will be forced to give Hamid away to another master and never be allowed to take a student. We still don't know if McConnor's parents will press charges against Radgarid, so things could still become nasty."

"Alastor," Radgarid said warningly.

"No, he must realize what he has done and what this means for your and Hamid," Alastor said coldly.

"I think he already realizes it," Radgarid said in an attempt to calm his old friend down. Looking at the miserable, crying boy on the couch, he said, "I'm still very disappointed that you didn't stop as soon as you realized what was happening, but I knew the responsibility I took when I accepted you as my student, Severus. I knew something like this could happen."

That did not help. Severus felt so bad, he just wanted to go into his room and hide under his bed. He felt physically sick. It had felt good that Harry had stood behind him without even knowing what happened, but it was just a small comfort. He knew that Poppy's silence meant that she was totally shocked at his behavior. She must be very disappointed, and Alastor was mad like hell. But the worst was Radgarid. He could not understand why someone else was made responsible for his actions. That was even worse than being punished himself.

"I don't want to see you out of your room for the next week except at meals and to use the loo," Alastor said harshly.

"Alastor," Poppy protested, but Severus hardly heard it over his sobs.

"Go!" At that command from Alastor, Severus ran out of the room, his tears blinding him, but he knew the way to his room well. He ran full speed until he was covered under his blanket. His sobbing was so loud that it must have been heard even outside the quarters, but Severus did not mind. He wished Paulus was here, but as the cat still was with Argus, Severus pressed the stuffed cat from Mrs. Weasley tight to his chest.

It was not long until someone sat down beside him and started rubbing calming circles on his back. "Severus, you must stop crying so hard or you will make yourself sick. Alastor will calm down. You know him well enough to know that." It was Poppy, but all that counted at the moment for Severus was Alastor's angry and disappointed face.

"No, he will never want to see me again."

Poppy sighed. "No, Severus, he is just...Severus, I don't think you realize what could have happened. I think Alastor is angrier at himself for letting Radgarid teach you than anything else. He will calm down and then the two of you can speak calmly." She felt Severus shake his head under the blanket.

"No, he will never speak with me again. He doesn't want me as his son anymore." More sobs and louder ones escaped Severus and Poppy increased her effort to calm him.

"Of course he still wants you as his son, Severus. We will always want you as our son. Don't be silly. We love you."

"No, he doesn't. And they even had to call me by his name all that time," Severus said miserably. The air under the blanket became heavy and he wished he could breathe more freely.

"Severus, you will suffocate." Poppy pulled the blanket away from Severus' face and gently stroked his hair. "Of course Albus and Minerva called you by your last name. Mr. McConnor would have protested that you are being treated differently otherwise. Alastor is very proud that you have chosen to take his last name, Severus. One mistake won't change that."

Severus shook his head. "You don't know him."

Poppy chuckled sadly. "I've known him much longer then you, young man. Believe me, he will calm down and then the two of you can talk calmly."

Severus did not argue anymore. Poppy's hand on his back was too good to be true, and so he relaxed into her ministration. After a few minutes, Harry slipped into the room and was waved over to them by Poppy. Seconds later, Harry lay beside him in his bed, cuddling to his side and Poppy left them alone.

"Everything will become all right, Sev," Harry said, not very convincing.

"No, it won't," Severus whispered. He wanted to ask Harry what had happened when Alastor had pulled him out of the living room, but he had no energy left. Shortly after, they were both asleep.

X-X

"Alastor, that was too much. You know what Severus has been through in his first childhood. You can't speak like that with him. He will think you don't love him anymore. Never tell him to not come out of his room for a long time again. I will not just stand here and let you treat him like that."

"Poppy, he could have blown himself up! He needs to learn to control himself, and at least at the moment he realized what he was doing he needed to stop. I will not let him lose himself in the Dark a second time!"

"He is not losing himself in the Dark, Alastor. He is twelve, not seventeen, and he was scared about what McConner said to him. Don't interpret things in his actions just because of his choices in his first youth."

Alastor stared at his wife. He knew she was right, but he had been so overwhelmed by the fear that Severus would become Dark again. He had been very disappointed that Severus had kept up his magic when he realized what he was doing. Severus wanted to hurt the other boy, but Poppy was right. He could not judge Severus like a seventeen-year-old. He was twelve and most likely reacted out of fear. "I need to calm down and then I will speak with him." Grumpily, he turned around and went to the kitchen, fully aware that his wife would go to Severus to stop the heart-wrenching sobs that came from his room.

"Come out of that corner, Harry, and sit down with me," Alastor said when he stepped into the kitchen. Harry was still crying in the corner.

"I'm s...sorry. Really! I didn't want to say that I hate you. I...I don't hate you."

The sobbing boy in front of him, with his head and shoulders hanging down, softened Alastor's heart. "I know, Harry. Calm down." He pulled Harry on his lap. "Where is your handkerchief?"

Since Harry lived in that household, he always had a fresh handkerchief in his pocket. Poppy always made sure of it. Harry fumbled for it and blew his nose.

"I was so worried about Severus. The others said he will be expelled or sent to Azkaban."

"You know that we would do everything to prevent that, Harry. You should have just gone to your room and not start screaming at me. We could have spoken after our talk to Severus in calm."

Harry's forehead fell against Alastor's shoulder. "I'm sorry. Is Severus okay?"

"Severus...has made a very big mistake and will be suspended from school for the rest of this term. Everything else you will have to ask Severus. You will need to bring his homework to him so that he doesn't miss too much."

"I will. So he won't go to Azkaban?"

"Of course not, Harry. But Radgarid might be in trouble if Mr. McConnor's parents press charges. We can only wait to see what they will do. Now, you should go to Severus and see that he calms down. I need to think a bit more before I can talk to him again." He placed Harry back on his feet and then gave him a gentle shove so that he left. Then he placed his head in his hands and sighed.

X-X

Severus turn over to his side again and clutched his stomach. He had not slept at all beside the half hour with Harry directly after Poppy had left the room. Now it was two o'clock in the morning and he felt very sick. He did not dare to go to the bathroom and tried to lay as still as possible. He feared that any movement he made would cause him to throw up in his bed or make Alastor even angrier when he noticed that Severus was not sleeping.

The door opened a crack and Severus pressed his eyes together in the hope that nobody would realize that he was awake.

"Severus, come with me," Alastor said and pulled Severus' blanket away.

Miserably, Severus followed Alastor outside. Halfway down the hall, he noticed with dread that the sickness became worse and his attempt to reach the bathroom was unsuccessful. As Severus fell to the floor to throw up against Poppy's beloved flower tapestry, Alastor sank down behind him and supported his head and held his hair out of his face. Even through the heaving, Severus tried to apologize.

"Stop trying to talk, Severus. This can be Vanished without a problem when you are done. Relax."

"I'm sorry," Severus said between sobs when he was finally sat against a clean wall so that Alastor could clean the stained one.

"I already told you that it's not a problem. Come, we need to get some potions into you and then you need to go back to bed. It's late."

He was wrapped in a blanket and placed on the couch in the living room with the instructions to not move. Then Alastor left the room to fetch the potions. When he came back, Severus was still sniffing.

"Here, this first. It will calm your stomach." He handed Severus a vial, and he drained it without looking at it. "Before you take the Sleeping Draught, I would like to make some things clear, Severus."

"Please don't throw me out. I swear I will be good from now on. I will make up for it. I will tell everyone that it wasn't Radgarid's fault. I-"

"Stop, Severus. It's too late for that. To make it short, we will talk about Radgarid and whatever will have to be done in his case tomorrow after I know what the McConnors will do. What I want to talk about with you right now is that I want you to know that I still love you. You did something very bad, Severus, but that will not make me stop loving you. You scared me a lot, and I must admit that I was influenced by what I remember of your first life as a teenager. You made a horrible choice when you were seventeen, and I don't want you to do something like that again. Hearing that you didn't stop the magic the moment you realized what you were doing shocked me. I don't want you to become the dark and bitter man you once were. I was wrong to let this influence me today. You are twelve not seventeen. I'm sorry."

Severus looked open-mouthed at Alastor. He had expected everything else but this.

"I will never throw you out, Severus, nor will I stop loving you like a son. Still, you did something very, very bad and you need to be punished for it. When I sent you to your room and told you not to leave it for the next few days, I didn't mean that I don't want to see you anymore. It was just to make it clear to you that you will have a very boring life for the next week. No friends, no flying, no fun. You will try to learn on your own in the morning or help Poppy in the Hospital Wing. If any students go there, you will not talk with them. Normally, you wouldn't be at Hogwarts during a suspension, so you will have to behave like that. As you don't have any school work tomorrow morning, you will spend your time in my and Remus' office. I will give you tasks while I'm in classes. You will eat lunch with Poppy in the Hospital Wing. Of course, you will be allowed to attend our family hour each day."

"But you said I'm not allowed to have fun and leave my room."

"Family hour will be an exception. We are still a family and you know how important that hour is for us."

Severus sniffed and nodded. It was important for him as well, even though they usually just sat together reading. Sometimes, they talked or played games. It was a perfect ending for the day. Harry was never allowed to take part in the family hour when he had an early bedtime as punishment, but Poppy had already explained to him that their punishments were different according to the crime and what would work best. He would not complain about being allowed to take part in the family hour. Being banned from attending it for a whole week would have made Severus feel as sick as he had been when Alastor fetched him from his room.

"But you are still mad at me."

"Severus, I'm disappointed. I can't just ignore what you did. It was your choice to hold that magic up even though you knew that Mr. McConnor was very scared and that he would drown in the soil. I don't think you would have gone to that extreme, but-"

"No, I wouldn't. I promise, Alastor. I'm not Dark. Please, you must believe me." Severus broke out into new tears and sobs and knelt down, or rather broke down, in front of Alastor.

Alastor sighed and pulled Severus up on his lap. "Stop it, Severus. You will make yourself sick again. You will fulfill your punishment and apologize to Radgarid. At the end of the week, you will be forgiven, and I promise to no longer to be mad at you. I don't think you are Dark. I apologized already for taking your first life into my judgment of the situation." After he drew several calming circles on Severus' back, he grabbed for the vial on the coffee table. "Time to take the Sleeping Draught, and then I will bring you back to your bed."

Severus drained the vial and fell asleep on their way to his room.

X-X

Severus gulped when Remus stepped into the office. Alastor had told him that he had a free period and would most likely be here during Alastor's first class. Severus paused in his cleaning of the shelf when Remus greeted him.

"Hi," Severus replied and then quickly went on cleaning. He was very exhausted. He had only slept after Alastor had given him the potion last night and had not had breakfast as his adoptive parents had let him sleep in until they had to leave for classes. Alastor had given Severus several tasks but ordered him to not overdue it before he had eaten breakfast which should soon arrive. The guilt had made Severus disobey that order and he had already started to clean the shelves.

"Stop that, Severus. You know as well as I that you haven't had breakfast yet."

Severus groaned. "Was that the topic in the staff room this morning?"

"No, Alastor asked me to keep an eye on you during breakfast."

A pop made Severus jump. He glared at the house-elf that stood in the middle of the room with a tray full of food which could make three boys full in Severus opinion. "Bring it over here," Remus ordered and conjured a table opposite his desk. "Sit down, Severus, and eat."

Severus sat down reluctantly. How could he eat in front of Remus? That was embarrassing.

"Is there a problem, Severus?" Remus asked when Severus did not start eating.

"Do I have to sit here?"

"I would like to keep an eye on you. Alastor said you were sick last night. I have to grade those essays, so this is the best place for you to eat and for me to be able to watch you."

Severus groaned but started to eat. He was glad that Remus did not given him a lecture about his escapade yesterday, but it still nagged at him what Remus must be thinking. "Do you also think I will turn Dark again?" Severus said, a bit too venomous. He quickly apologized for it.

Remus sighed. "Severus, you are twelve. I don't think you really wanted to hurt Mr. McConnor. He scared you and you reacted badly to it. You just need to learn from your mistakes. The past can't be undone."

Severus poked his porridge, but still did not start eating.

"Severus, please start eating, or do I have to send you up to Poppy?"

"No," Severus protested and quickly started to eat. He had not even eaten half of it when he felt he could not eat any more.

"Time for your potion, and then you need to eat more."

"I'm full."

"Severus, I'm not in the mood for games."

"But I can't eat anything else."

Remus placed his quill down and looked up. He stood up to go around the desk to Severus, but the boy quickly grabbed the vial and drained its contents, grimacing noticeably.

"Please, I'm full. I can eat later."

"No, you can't, Severus. Pomona is coming over in half an hour for your magic feed. You should finish your breakfast before then."

"You can't expect me to eat all of this!"

Remus groaned and stood up. Severus watched in horror as he moved to the fireplace. The color drained from his face when Poppy stepped out of the fireplace a moment later. Severus quickly leaned over his tray and started to eat again.

"Nice try, Severus, but let me check you now," Poppy said while she came over to Severus. "Swallow," she instructed when Severus looked at her with his mouth still full.

Severus did as he was told and then glared at Remus.

"Stop that, Severus!" Poppy ordered and turned his face to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Full."

"Do you feel sick?"

Severus lowered his head, but Poppy quickly lifted it again. "No," Severus mumbled.

"Then why are you refusing to eat when Remus asked you to finish your breakfast?"

"Because I'm full and that is too much," Severus protested and pointed accusingly at the tray.

"You had a huge magical drain yesterday and Alastor wasn't able to refill your core completely last night. You need energy."

"But it's too much."

Poppy told him to stay still and waved her wand over him. Then she waved her wand over the tray and only one more role, a glass of apple juice and an orange remained on it. "You will finish this without giving Remus any more trouble or you will spend the rest of the day in a bed in my Hospital Wing. Is that clear, Severus?"

"Yes, Poppy," Severus said, defeated.

When she left, Severus glared at Remus again. "You could have warned me."

"And then you would have eaten? I know you well enough, Severus. And what are you complaining about? You got rid of half of what was left on your tray."

"Hmpf."

Remus chuckled and started his grading again.

-II-

Poppy told him to stay still and waved her wand over him. Then she waved her wand over the tray and only one more role, a glass of apple juice and an orange remained on it. "You will finish this without giving Remus any more trouble or you will spend the rest of the day in a bed in my Hospital Wing. Is that clear, Severus?"

"Yes, Poppy," Severus said, defeated.

When she left, Severus glared at Remus again. "You could have warned me."

"And then you would have eaten? I know you well enough, Severus. And what are you complaining about? You got rid of half of what was left on your tray."

"Hmpf."

Remus chuckled and started his grading again.

-II-

The week had passed agonizingly slow, but at least Alastor had made clear Severus was forgiven and still loved. Radgarid also was not in trouble as the McConnors were more shocked about their son's behavior rather than Severus' defense reaction. The counseling Greg had gotten until now should have shown some results, but it seemed the hate was too deep.

Severus had apologized to Radgarid at least six times and still felt as if he had to apologize whenever he saw Hamid or Radgarid, so Severus tried to avoid them. He was not allowed to train with Hamid or Radgarid, and Severus knew he would never feel like asking for it again. That he was sure about. Right now Severus was glad the two had left for India to spend Christmas there. That was the only good thing Severus could think about right now. He was sure he had destroyed the first real Christmas he could have had with his action in the greenhouse. He did not care that he would not get any gifts now, but he still felt awkward being around Alastor and Poppy knowing how much he had disappointed them.

Harry was looking forward to Christmas, but Severus was not. He knew how important the whole holiday was for Poppy. He had spent enough Christmas Eves with them. They had sat down in the living room with a special bottle of red wine, listened to Christmas music, and played cards. At midnight, they had exchange presents and hugs. Poppy had always expressed her love to him more clearly at that time of the year because that was the time when Severus accepted her hugs and kisses on his forehead or his cheeks without much protest. Severus had always known he would have some peace after because the quarters were his alone from Christmas to the 27th because Alastor and Poppy would visit their relatives.

This year, everything would be different. Before Severus had his escapade in the greenhouse, Poppy and Alastor had announced that they would get their presents on Christmas Eve so that they would have time to use whatever they got. There would be no time for that the next day because they had to pack and leave for Alastor's relatives' after breakfast.

Now, everything would be depressing for Severus. He did not care that he would get no presents. He never received any as a child. His mother had been too afraid of his father to give him anything, and his father always knew that he was bad and did not deserve gifts. Lately, Severus had to talk a lot about his first childhood because James and Maria somehow always got him to talk in their sessions. It was painful, but at least he had been able to sleep much better. Except for the past week. Especially tonight. Sadly, Severus petted Paulus, who lay curled up on his chest. Harry slept soundly in the bed next to Severus', most likely dreaming of how wonderful Christmas Eve would be for him.

The presents Severus and Harry had bought and made for Poppy and Alastor stood mockingly close to Severus' bed. No, I don't care that I'm not getting any presents, Severus told himself again to fight against the stabbing pain in his chest. I don't deserve any. He hoped they would still accept his presents. With great effort, Severus had tried to convince Harry to not give them the photo they had taken and framed with a self-made frame. Severus feared they would no longer want it, but Harry had called him stupid and told him hundreds of time that Alastor and Poppy had forgiven him and did not think he was Dark. Yes, they had told Severus so themselves, and Alastor had even taken him aside on Friday to tell him again that he was forgiven, but Severus still felt so bad about it, so guilty, that he could not believe him.

All his pleas to leave him home for Christmas had fallen on deaf ears. He had to join them for their family visits. There were so many reasons why Severus was afraid of it. First, he was sure it would be better for Poppy and Alastor to only show their good son to their relatives. They all knew Severus as an adult but not as a teenager, and when they heard about what he had done-Severus did not even want to think about it. Then Severus was afraid of getting in trouble again. Alastor's brothers were stern men, and Severus did not want to get in trouble with them. Still, he felt as if trouble was seeking him out and he had no chance of avoiding it. Alastor's family would include his brothers' children and grandchildren, so there was an even greater chance of getting in trouble. At Poppy's relatives', there would be no children as they would have already spent Christmas Eve and Day at Poppy's oldest sister's house. It would only be the three sisters and their husbands. That "only" was treacherous. They were all Healers and mediwitches and knew Severus. Some had even helped Poppy care for Severus when he had come back from some of the nastier meetings with the Dark Lord. Severus knew they would fuss over him, and the potion accident that had de-aged him would be even more of a reason for fussing. The chance that his problems with his hands would be discovered would be even higher. Severus would do everything to prevent that because he did not want Maria to start the training again.

Harry turned and coughed harshly. He had done so at least ten times in the last two hours. Was he getting ill? Poppy had caught him flying without a jacket two days ago, and Harry had been grounded from flying for the holidays. Harry had even started to cry, but Poppy had stayed calm. Severus was sure he would have gotten a swat for it in addition to grounding. It was so unfair. Not that he wished for Harry to get a swat, but Severus felt that they should punish them the same way. Harry had cried as if he had gotten a beating, and not even Severus had been able to get him out of it. Maybe Severus should try that tactic as well, but no, he would never embarrass himself in front of them like that. For Harry, it was okay. He was the little brother. At least that's what Severus told himself. Another cough came from the bed beside him and Severus started to worry. Harry had been so happy about the holidays, especially Christmas Eve. It would be horrible if he was sick.

The door opened and light flooded into the room. Severus quickly closed his eyes to pretend he was sleeping. The mattress dipped beside him and a hand was placed on his forehead. The hand was big and rough, and Severus knew that it was Alastor's.

"I have the sick one." Severus could hear Poppy from the other bed. She must have placed her hand on Harry's forehead.

"Then I think I have the one who's pretending to be asleep, right, Severus?" Alastor asked in a soft voice.

Severus slowly opened his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't want to wake you."

"Nightmare?" Alastor asked, worried, as he brushed a loose wisp of hair out of Severus' face.

"No, just..."

"Just?"

Severus sighed. "I just can't sleep."

Movements from Harry's bed made them both look over. Poppy had woken Harry, who now looked around, puzzled, before starting to cough again.

"You're ill, Harry. Here, drink this. It will help your cough and will stop you from developing a fever." Poppy held a spoon of some syrupy potion to Harry's mouth.

"No, I don't want to be sick. It's Christmas," Harry wailed.

"I know, but with a bit of luck, the potion will work over night and prevent you from getting sicker. Now take it, Harry."

Harry obeyed and was surprised that it tasted good, not like the potion she often forced them to drink as a precaution when some of the students had come down with colds.

Another coughing fit shook Harry's body, and Poppy patted his back. Then Harry sank tiredly back into bed and fell asleep.

Poppy came over to Severus, laid her hand on his forehead, and then pulled out the horrible precaution potion.

Severus screwed his face. "Do I really have to?"

"Yes, or do you want to get sick, too?"

Severus shook his head and swallowed the disgusting liquid.

"So why are you still up?" Poppy asked.

Severus shrugged.

"You're not still worried about us being mad, right?" Alastor asked, letting his magical eye roam over Severus' face to check for any slight movements. It was not hard to read Severus' expressions now that he was twelve, but it was an old habit, and old habits die hard.

"Severus, I thought we had cleared that up already. I'm not mad, nor is Poppy. We will spend a lovely Christmas Eve tomorrow...today, and then we will spend a few days with our relatives."

"But I'm bad."

"No, you are not. We told you this so many times now, Severus. What do we have to do to get that in your thick head?" Alastor asked while he gently knocked his knuckles against Severus' forehead.

"You thought I would become Dark again."

"And I apologized for that. I thought you were mature enough to understand and accept my apology, but maybe I was wrong."

"I'm mature," Severus protested.

"Then you should understand that in the heat of the moment we sometimes say things or make the wrong conclusions. When we think about it with some distance or help we understand that it was wrong. You are not turning Dark again, Severus. That debacle in the greenhouse was bad, but had nothing to do with being Dark or Light."

Severus bit his lower lip.

"Stop, Severus." Poppy nudged his lip out from between his teeth with her fingers. "I think it's time to sleep. Maybe experience will teach you that your fears are uncalled for. We just have to wait for this day to come to an end. Now, you need to sleep. So, open your mouth."

"No please," Severus protested, but before he could close his mouth, Poppy had pushed the spoon full of Sleeping Draught past his lips.

X-X

Harry had to spend the next day almost completely in bed, and Severus kept him company. He was only allowed to leave their quarters for the big feast in the Great Hall with the three students who had to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays. During the evening, Harry was wrapped in a blanket with a Warming Spell on the couch while Poppy taught him and Severus some Christmas songs that they had to sing when they were visiting their relatives. Severus had almost forgotten to breathe when Poppy had announced that. When Poppy was satisfied with their singing, or rather when Harry was too exhausted to go on, they had stopped and Poppy had brought a hot chocolate for Severus, warm milk with honey for Harry, hot punch for herself, and tea with some rum for Alastor. Then Alastor read them all a story. Harry had fallen asleep during the story and Severus had to wake him to get the presents for Poppy and Alastor shortly before ten. Another dose of the potion Poppy had been feeding him all day gave him an energy push.

Severus was shocked when he came back in the living room to see so many presents under the tree. Harry must have gotten gifts from everyone who knew him. Harry was more excited about giving his adoptive parents the presents than getting any himself, but he could not resist glancing at the colorful parcels under the tree.

Severus sat down on the couch while Harry gave Alastor and Poppy their gifts. Severus was sure Harry would bounce up and down and cry, "Open it!" if he was feeling better.

When Poppy saw the moving picture and the self-made frame, she started to cry.

"I told you so," Severus said miserably and stood up to walk out of the room. Alastor calling his name made him stop. He had been in enough trouble over the past month; he did not want to be in even more trouble for not listening when his adoptive father was calling for him.

"Come back here and tell us what this is about," Alastor instructed.

Severus still had not turned. His chest hurt. A hand was gently placed on his neck and he flinched. "Severus, calm down. It's only me." Alastor. "You know you are safe with me."

"Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. Now please come back with me, okay?"

Severus let Alastor guide him back to the couch, but he was not taken to the same couch he had occupied before. No, Alastor was leading him to the couch Poppy sat on and pulled him on his lap when he sat down. "Now, what was that about?"

Severus refused to look up and speak.

"He thinks you don't want him to be in the photo," Harry explained in a hoarse voice.

"Severus, how can you think something like that?" Poppy asked, her voice still affected by her crying.

"You cried."

"I cried because I'm happy, Severus. Only a few months ago, I feared you two would brake over what you had gone through during the war. Seeing the two of you so happy in that photo..." She had to stop because new tears were in her eyes and her throat tightened again.

Harry threw his arms around Poppy. "We are happy because we are with you. We have a home, a family. Right, Severus?" Harry looked over to his brother for help.

Severus could not speak. He just nodded and looked shyly at Poppy.

The mediwitch smiled back and cupped Severus' cheek. "We love you, Severus. And you as well, Harry. Never think otherwise. You always will have a home and a family here with us. No matter what stupid things you do in future."

Harry hugged her tighter, and Severus sighed, relieved.

"Enough melodramatics. I think there are some gifts waiting for you to open them," Alastor said. He chuckled when Harry jumped up, dropping his blanket, and ran over to the Christmas tree.

"Don't you want to go and look, Severus?"

No, he did not want to look at Harry's presents. He could watch him open them from Alastor's lap quite well.

"Here is one for you, Severus," Harry said, excited. He held a big present with green wrapping up and shook it lightly to hear what was in it. "It's heavy and something moves when you shake it."

Severus sat up straight on Alastor's lap. He looked, puzzled, at Harry and then at his adoptive parents. Poppy smiled at him, and Alastor raised an eyebrow. "If you don't want it, I'm sure I can make use of it."

Severus jumped up and ran over to Harry, not turning when he heard Alastor chuckle.

Severus unwrapped the present and found it to be a new Wizard's Chess set, a very cool one with potion utensils as pieces. Severus had only seen a chess set like this once before. It was so cool when the Cauldron blew up in the Potions Brewer's face, or when the Potion Vial exploded when the Potions Mistress put an extra ingredient inside. It would be a bit difficult to remember which utensil stood for which chess piece, but they were very easy to recognize. The Cauldrons were the rooks, the Potion Vials were the bishops, the Burners were the knights, and the Bezoars were the pawns. The king and the queen were the Potions Brewer and the Potions Mistress.

Severus was still looking, fascinated, at his Wizard's Chess set when Harry hit him with another box. "This is also yours."

Severus was perplexed and overwhelmed. Another present? This time, it was wrapped in purple paper, and Severus checked twice if it really was for him. His name was on it, but there was no other writing. He expected it was from Poppy and Alastor. He threw a short and shy glance over to them and Alastor nodded encouraging at him. Poppy was taking pictures with a magical camera.

It was a book about plants, and it was a very rare one. Severus ran a finger down' the spine. Paulus was enjoying himself by jumping through the wrapping that was piled under the tree. His eyeball had healed, but according to Poppy he could only see shapes with it. Still, he behave like any cat. Only when you looked close you saw that his pupil did not changing size like the other did. Poppy had spoken with Severus about cutting Paulus' stiff leg off as he bumped it often by accident, but Severus felt bad about deciding this and had ask them to wait. The cat was looking so healthy beside that leg, but Severus knew it was in the way. Soon, he would have to make a decision.

In the end, there was a big pile of gift wrap, much to Paulus' joy, and Severus and Harry were busy showing each other their gifts. Severus had gotten the Wizard's Chess set, the book about plants, and a fiber glass spoon for potion brewing from Alastor and Poppy. He had gotten a new broom from Albus. Hagrid had given him a book about cats and a manual of how to make toys for cats. He had gotten a small green house from Pomona that he could place on his window sill. Kingsley, Tonks, Remus, and Charlie had given him and Harry tickets for a Quidditch game of their favorite teams, the Tutshill Tornados and Chudley Cannons.

In addition, Harry had gotten a special Quidditch uniform set from Albus, a set of posters of hellhounds and the Chudley Cannons from Alastor and Poppy, and a handmade extra warm mermaid hair scarf from Hagrid-as if he had known Harry would get sick over Christmas. He also got an indoor Snitch, a new card set, and the coolest things ever: a hand-written book by Alastor about the stories his father had told him about hellhounds. Harry had hardly changed into his Animagus form lately, but he still felt very close to it. He had hoped Remus would let him spend time with him during a transformation, but the older man had refused. So Harry hardly saw any use in changing into his hellhound form lately.

Severus read to Harry out of the book when they were finally sent to bed. Even when Harry had fallen asleep, Severus did not stop reading. Only when Poppy came in and took the book away did he rest himself on his pillow and fall asleep to the rhythmical rattling sounds Harry's lung were making.

-II-

In addition, Harry had gotten a special Quidditch uniform set from Albus, a set of posters of hellhounds and the Chudley Cannons from Alastor and Poppy, and a handmade extra warm mermaid hair scarf from Hagrid-as if he had known Harry would get sick over Christmas. He also got an indoor Snitch, a new card set, and the coolest things ever: a hand-written book by Alastor about the stories his father had told him about hellhounds. Harry had hardly changed into his Animagus form lately, but he still felt very close to it. He had hoped Remus would let him spend time with him during a transformation, but the older man had refused. So Harry hardly saw any use in changing into his hellhound form lately.

Severus read to Harry out of the book when they were finally sent to bed. Even when Harry had fallen asleep, Severus did not stop reading. Only when Poppy came in and took the book away did he rest himself on his pillow and fall asleep to the rhythmical rattling sounds Harry's lung were making.

-II-

"Come on, Severus, you need to get up. There isn't much time. You two still have to pack your things, and you need to take Paulus to Argus," Poppy said, annoyed when Severus turned away from her again and pulled his blanket over his head.

"Severus, up. Now!" Alastor boomed.

"No," Severus groaned when the blanket was spelled away.

"You have three seconds to stand up, or I will Vanish your pajamas as well. Maybe freezing in your underwear will wake you up fully," Alastor threatened.

That woke Severus, or at least made him sit up groggily. "It's too early."

Alastor snorted. "You heard your mother, Severus." He stopped, realizing what he had just said. Until now, they had avoided calling themselves "mother" and "father" in the presence of the boys. They feared they would react badly.

"Yes, I heard her," Severus said and stood up, unbuttoning his pajama top. It seemed he did not care that Alastor had called Poppy his mother, and the old man relaxed, throwing a glance over to his wife who had obviously held her breath as well.

"Then off with you into the bathroom. Your ill brother is already up."

Severus glared at Alastor when he passed him on his way to the bathroom. He hated mornings. Especially this morning as it meant they would have to visit Alastor's relatives.

"Not in a good mood?" Harry asked with a hoarse voice.

"When have I ever been in a good mood in the morning?"

Harry snorted. "Yeah, you have a point there."

"How are you?" Severus asked while he sat down on the closed toilet seat, laying his head on the small sideboard beside it.

"I feel like crap, and the worse part is that Poppy threw the 'I told you so' in my face before I even had a chance to wake up fully."

"Flying without a jacket, Harry. How often do I have to tell you-?"

Someone banged against the door twice. "I can hear you, Severus, and beside the fact that you aren't mimicking me very well, you can't be brushing your teeth while talking. If you aren't finished in ten minutes, I will send Alastor in to help you."

Grumpily Severus lifted his head from the sideboard and shuffled over to Harry to brush his teeth beside him. "She made me take the damn precaution potion thanks to you. I bet I will have to take it twice a day now until you are healthy again."

"I would say three times a day, Severus, and I don't see you brushing your teeth," Alastor's voice boomed through the door.

"Damn his eye," Severus said and grabbed for his toothbrush.

/-\

"Are you finished packing, boys?" Poppy asked when she and Alastor stepped into their room.

"Yes, all done," Harry said, and Severus stopped playing with Paulus.

"Let me see."

"What? We are capable of packing our things. We are not babies," Severus protested.

"I'm sure you think you are capable, but I will not wash your socks by magic just because you haven't packed enough of them."

"We can count to four, Poppy," Severus said, indignant.

"And there we have the first mistake. We may be away for four days, but you might need an extra pair because you got yours wet," Poppy stated.

Severus rolled his eyes when Poppy made her way over to Harry's suitcase. She opened it and out fell all the clothes Harry had stuffed in it unceremoniously.

"I hope this is a joke, Harry," Poppy said, shocked.

Harry blushed and started to gather his clothes that now lay in a big messy pile in front of his suitcase.

Poppy shook her head. "Fold them and then we will pack your suitcase together, Harry," Poppy said after a long sigh. Then she stepped over to Severus' suitcase.

Severus nervously watched while Poppy pulled his suitcase up to open it. "Merlin, what have you packed in here? Stones?"

Severus gulped and looked from Poppy to Alastor and back. Before he could answer, Poppy had opened his suitcase and revealed that half of it was stuffed with books and the new chess board.

Poppy mentally counted to ten to not lose her temper. "Severus, you will not take these with you."

"What? Why not? I need them."

"For what in Merlin's name do you need half of your library for this trip?"

"To keep me occupied?"

Poppy glared at him. "You will meet our relatives, Severus. You will even have playmates at Alexander's place. You could also keep yourself busy by talking and getting to know your relatives better. You can still play at my sister's house. There may not be anyone besides Harry your own age, but there are a few board games and card games for you. And if you insist reading, she has a big library. Still, I want you to get to know them better. As an adult you always avoided talking much with them."

"Yeah, and now you can force me to."

Poppy drew in a sharp breath and pulled Severus by his ear. "Now you are family with them on paper, Severus."

"Oww, Poppy," Severus protested. It seemed his adoptive mother was on the verge of a temper tantrum. "I get it. I will put them away."

"This isn't funny, Alastor!" Poppy said, annoyed when her husband chuckled behind her.

Alastor went over to Severus. "Leave the chess board here, Severus. I know you would like to play with it, but what if you lose a piece? It's hard to get them. There are chess boards in each household we are visiting. Believe me; you will be able to occupy yourself without the books and the board."

Severus grumpily removed the books and the chess set from his suitcase and then blushed deeply when Alastor removed his clothes and found his stuffed cat at the bottom of the suitcase. He bit his lip as Alastor counted his underwear and socks and added some more socks, underwear, a scarf, and gloves. He placed the stuffed cat on top without commenting. Then he turned to Severus. "You can bring one book."

Severus beamed and ran over to his bookshelf to pick the book he had gotten about plants.

"Alastor, really," Poppy said, frustrated, and Severus stopped in his tracks on his way back to his suitcase. He pressed the book tightly against his chest and looked fearfully at Poppy. Would she forbid him to take it?

Poppy rolled her eyes, seeing Severus scared expression. "One book, Severus."

A very un-Severus-like ear to ear grin appeared on his face, and Poppy's heart flip flopped.

"Okay, you are all done, Severus. Now go take Paulus to Argus. Twenty minutes, then you need to come back so we can leave."

Severus nodded to Alastor and took Paulus from his bed and placed him on his shoulder. The two had found that the best way to travel together. The cat was so tiny that it fit well on Severus' shoulder and Severus had his hands free. He grabbed the small present he had bought for Argus and went outside.

He knocked on Argus' door and went in when the caretaker gruffly called for him. "Hey, Argus. Happy Christmas."

"Merlin," Argus said, shocked, and grabbed his heart. "Isn't it enough that you always make me feel so old by using that teenage-slang, but now you sound like the headmaster himself. 'Happy Christmas?' Where is Severus Snape, and what have you done with him?"

"I left him behind for Severus Moody." Severus placed the present on the table and turned his face away from Argus. He knew his old friend was not trying to be hurtful, but his words often stung. Severus cursed his twelve-year-old feelings. He jumped when he heard a gruff, "Happy Christmas" behind him and something was shoved into his back. He turned and saw a haphazardly-wrapped present in Argus' hand. "For you."

There was an awkward silence before Severus took the present. "Err...thanks, I didn't think you would..."

"I'm not good at talking, and I know I often hurt you with what I say, but I can't change that, Severus. I am who I am. That was one of the reasons we became friends I think, but now..."

"Now we still are friends, aren't we? Just.. just in another way, right?" Severus looked hopefully and a bit fearfully at Argus.

"I don't really understand why you still insist on hanging around here with me. I'm an old grumpy man."

"And I'm a young grumpy boy."

Argus looked thoughtfully at Severus. "No, you aren't, Severus. I'm not good for you."

The color left Severus' face. Was this Argus' way of telling him he would not be his friend anymore?

"See? There, I did it again, Severus. I hurt you without wanting to."

"But I want to be your friend. Please don't push me away."

Argus growled. "Open it."

At first, Severus did not understand what Argus wanted from him, but then the old man tapped the thing wrapped in brown paper with a lot of Spellotape. Severus unwrapped it and looked at the Snitch-sized orb in his hand. "What is it?"

"A Warning Glass. If someone is trying to read your thoughts or is performing any kind of invisible magic on you, it will change. Red smoke mean the person has bad intentions. Grey smoke means neutral, and blue smoke is friendly intentions. You can ask someone to transfigure it into a pendant. That way you can wear it all the time. I wasn't sure if you would like it that way. It's more a woman thing to wear a pendent, right?"

"Where did you get it? It's amazing." Severus knew the Squib would not have been able to buy it as he avoided all kinds of magical shops.

"Won't tell you. Now shouldn't you leave for your Christmas travels?" A nasty grin appeared on the caretaker's face and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Take good care of Paulus, will you?"

"I will see if Mrs. Norris is willing to give him a bit of her food or not. If not, I think he will survive for four days without it," Argus grumbled.

Severus looked shocked, but slapped himself mentally for it when he saw another nasty grin appear in his friend's face. "That's not funny."

"Yes, it is. Now off with you. I'm sure your relatives are dying to mollycoddle you."

Severus glared at Argus, petted Paulus, and then left. He did not see Argus went over to his present resting on his table. The caretaker looked fascinated at it as if it was the first present he had ever got. Maybe it was.

/-\

"What's going on in your head, Harry?" Alastor asked.

Harry's head snapped up. He had not realized that he had zoned out so deep in thought. "Nothing. I'm just a bit tired."

"We know you good enough to know that there must be more than just tiredness to make you look so worried. So what is it?"

Harry sighed. "You will be mad if I tell you."

"I promise to try to stay reasonable, and Poppy is here to stop me if I get mad. So out with it."

Another sigh and then Harry started to talk. "Severus thinks we will get in trouble at your relatives' house. He says they are...you know...they are even stricter than you and we will be punished. I don't want to get in trouble with your relatives, but I often seem to attract trouble and I can't do anything about it."

"Sometimes your brother is really stupid, Harry," Alastor said and ruffled Harry's hair. "You should know by now not to believe everything he says. Yes, my brothers are strict, but they are not monsters. You will like them. They expect some respect, but you both never seemed to be lacking that. Maybe only when you are in some kind of temper tantrum, but believe me, my brothers should be the least of your concerns if you throw one during our stay there. Nobody beside Poppy and me have any right to punish you, except the headmaster and your teachers if it regards school matters. My brothers would never attempt to punish you, Harry. I would not punish their children or grandchildren. As for your feeling about attracting trouble, that is totally normal. You are boys, and boys get into trouble. We as your parents are there to show you what's wrong and what's right, and sometimes that includes punishments."

"Would you...would you punish us in front of them?"

"You know I have quite a temper, Harry, but I promise I will always try to not punish you in front of strangers or your peers. Still, if you do something really dangerous, I can't promise that I will have myself under control to not give you or Severus a tongue lashing in front of anyone."

"But we don't have to stand in a corner while your relatives are in the room?"

Alastor looked at Harry seriously. "Is that what Severus told you?"

Harry looked down. "I knew you would get mad. Severus is really worried about that. You've never spanked me, but you spank Severus. He thinks your bothers will spank him, too."

"Nobody will touch my sons. You know I only do it when Severus has done something very, very dangerous or has had several warning to get himself under control. Believe me, if I had been the one to catch you flying without your jacket, you would have gotten a smack as well. And I fear it would have been in front of your peers even though it would have been embarrassing for you. I never plan those things, but with Severus, sometimes I need to give him a smack to get his head clear or to make him realize that what he did was very wrong. Flying without your jacket was dangerous too, Harry, and now your are paying the price for it. But you also could have fallen, and you didn't wear any protectors as they were on your jacket. You could have hurt yourself."

"Poppy pulled me by my ears," Harry quickly added in fear that Alastor would pull him over his lap right now and punish him.

"Yes, and she was right to do so. That will make you think twice before you fly without protection next time. But back to the topic. Nobody will spank you or Severus beside me, and I would prefer not to do so at all."

Harry nodded. "You won't tell Severus that I told you about it, will you?"

Alastor looked seriously at Harry and then his wife, who nodded. "No, we won't. So can you come with us now without making a face as if you are going to Divination?"

"Alastor, really, I told you to not encourage that. Divination is a subject like all their other subjects in school. They should take it seriously...at least as long as they have to attend it."

"What about Divination?" Severus asked when he stepped into the room.

"Your mother says it is a serious class as long as you have to take it. After that, you can call it rubbish," Alastor said and got a smack at the back of the head for it.

"You will not repeat that to anyone, Severus Moody," Poppy said, wagging her finger in front of him. "That wasn't what I said, and you should do well to not listen to this old man." She glared at Alastor again as she guided Severus over to the bed Harry and Alastor were sitting on. "So, boys, some rules."

Severus groaned, and Harry grinned at his brother's cheekiness. Both behaved when Alastor laid a warning hand on their necks.

"I want you on your best behavior during our visit. If you break something or do something else which you know was stupid, come to us and tell us before we have to find out about it from someone else. Be respectful to your relatives. If you feel uncomfortable with anything they do or tell you to do, come to us. Any questions?"

Severus lifted his hand.

"Severus, we are not in a classroom."

"How much do they know about us?"

"What do you mean? They already knew you as an adult and have heard about Harry as well."

"I...I mean about our problems." Severus looked down.

"Severus, they all read the Daily Prophet, so of course they contacted us as soon as they had read that awful article about the fake examination record. My relatives were very worried and offered their medical help. We calmed them all by telling them the truth. So they know about your health and mental conditions. They are your family now as well, Severus."

"They will fuss over us."

"I don't think Alastor's family will fuss over you, but I can't promise the same for mine. I think they will have enough professionalism to keep it to a minimum as they know you are not so keen about fussing. Remember, you have already had some encounters with my sisters and their husbands."

Severus groaned. "Yes, I remember. That's why I'm worried."

"You will survive it," Alastor said and ruffled Severus' hair.

"Hey, I'm not Harry. My hair gets all tangled up from that."

Alastor chuckled. "What's that?" He pointed at the Warning Glass.

"Oh." Severus grinned mischievously, forgetting his worries for a moment. "Do that thing with your eye on me."

"The thing with my eye? I'm sorry, but I don't get it."

"The reading. When you let it roam all over me when you think I'm hiding something."

Alastor raised his eyebrow, but then started to scan Severus with his magical eye. Suddenly, the little orb became smokey. Thick gray smoke filled it.

"What is it?" Harry asked curiously.

"It warns me if someone is using some kind of magic on me. It even shows if it has a good, bad, or neutral intention. Gray means neutral."

"That's cool. Where did you get it?"

"Argus gave it to me for Christmas."

"Wicked!" Harry said before a coughing fit hit him.

"Time for your potion, Harry," Poppy said and went to fetch it.

To Severus' horror, she came back with two spoons and two vials.

"Why do I have to take it? I don't feel ill." Severus looked pleadingly at Alastor, who had taken his potion from Poppy and was measuring out a spoonful.

"You have to take it so you won't catch the virus from Harry."

"I hardly get ill with colds."

"You are twelve now, Severus. Open up," Alastor instructed.

His face screwed, Severus obeyed. The next few days would be terrible, Severus was sure about that.

-II

"Time for your potion, Harry," Poppy said and went to fetch it.

To Severus' horror, she came back with two spoons and two vials.

"Why do I have to take it? I don't feel ill." Severus looked pleadingly at Alastor, who had taken his potion from Poppy and was measuring out a spoonful.

"You have to take it so you won't catch the virus from Harry."

"I hardly get ill with colds."

"You are twelve now, Severus. Open up," Alastor instructed.

His face screwed, Severus obeyed. The next few days would be terrible, Severus was sure about that.

-II-

"Severus already knows me and the rest of the family beside the kids, but as you don't know us, I will introduce you properly," Alexander told Harry when they stood in the middle of the big Manson's living room. It was not as cozy as their quarters at Hogwarts, but rather sporadically furnished. Everything seemed to be more than clean and organized. Severus was sure the woman of the house would know in an instant if even the smallest thing was moved. "I'm Alexander, Alastor's oldest brother, and this is my wife Marianne." He pointed at the thin woman who reminded Harry of Aunt Petunia.

"This is my son, Joren, with his wife, Lea, and their children, Victor, Marek, and Joanna." Joren was a tall man with harsh features, dark hair, and a mustache. His wife was a blond woman, and his children seem to be around twelve, nine, and five. Victor looked curiously at Harry and Severus. Something about his look just screamed trouble.

"Over there is our younger brother, Rupert." It was funny that Alexander called him younger because he looked the same age as Alexander and Alastor. He did not say what age difference was between them, and Severus could not remember. Alastor always seemed older due to his scars and wooden leg, but Rupert also looked old. "The young man beside him is his son, Theodore, his wife, Alexandra, and their son, Jegor." At least Theodore did not look so stern, but his wife had a calculating look on her face. Even the toddler in her arms looked stern. Severus would have liked to run away, and a look at Harry showed that he had the same opinion.

"I hope you are hungry," Marianne said kindly. Severus sighed, relieved. She at least seemed to be somewhat friendly. Now he remembered her as a warm-hearted woman. Sometimethelookdoesn'tmatchthecharacter.

Severus had been relived that Poppy allowed him to drink his nutrient potion after the meal in his room so he would not attract the curiosity of the children. At Charlotte's house, Poppy's oldest sister, he would not have that privilege. Severus shuddered as he thought about what would await him there. He scratched his arm. Floo powder often made him itchy, but today was especially bad.

"Severus," Alastor said warningly when he pushed his beans from one side to the other for the third time without eating anything.

Severus' head snapped up, and seeing the stern expression of his adoptive father, he said, "I'm still full from breakfast."

Before Alastor could reply, Alexandra put in her two Knuts worth. "Shouldn't he be taking nutrient potions? He looks anorexic." This, coming from the thin Alexandra, was a joke. Okay, she was not as boney as him, but still very thin.

Severus gulped and lost his appetite completely. The food had not been to his taste, and so he had become full quite soon, but now he felt sick. All eyes were on him.

"I can assure you that Severus' health is being watched well," Poppy said stiffly.

"I just mean it is obvious that he has a problem with eating. Forcing him to eat will make him start to hate eating, and then he might refuse all his food. I read a book about children having problems like this."

Poppy took a breath and opened her mouth to protest, but Alastor placed a hand over hers and said, "Severus is quite capable of eating, and forcing him to eat does not make him refuse food. Nutrient potions only help people to maintain their current weight and cannot make a person gain weight. Severus is well aware of that and knows how important it is to eat."

"It doesn't seem to me as if he really understands. Forcing him to eat is wrong. Children know exactly how much they have to eat. Their bodies tell them that. Your method is very old-fashioned and could be harming him. I can give you the book I-"

"Alexandra," Theodore said and laid his hand over hers, but she snatched it back and glared angrily at him.

"What? I can't just sit here and watch how this boy is being mistreated. This can have lasting and traumatic effects."

Severus felt sick. He wanted nothing more than to run to the fireplace and go back home. Poppy was fuming, and he could see she was close to explosion. Alastor's attempts to calm her were not working.

"You dare to say we mistreat him? I've been a Mediwitch for over forty years."

"Methods change over the years. Forcing children to eat is wrong."

"Alexandra, I really think you should stop. Poppy will know what's good for Severus. I don't think your education books can compare with her experience as a Mediwitch," Theodore tried to convince his wife.

"He is all bones and skin, Theo. It is clear their treatment isn't working well on him. I'm just trying to help. Look, the other boy isn't eating much as well. I already told you that forcing children to eat is wrong."

"Come on, kids, let's go to the bathroom," Marianne said and ushered her grandchildren out of the room after throwing a pitiful look at Severus.

Poppy and Alastor were hissing at each other, but the Privacy Spell Alastor had placed over them made it impossible to hear what they were saying. Severus did not need a magical eye to see that Poppy was very close to hexing Alexandra.

"As your father doesn't seem to feel the urge to intervene, I ask you to get control of your wife, Theodore. Otherwise I need to ask you to leave. She will not insult Alastor's family," Alexander said with a growl.

"I'm sorry," Severus said, tears running over his cheeks as he forked some beans in his mouth, but the speed made him start to choke. To his horror, Severus realized his meal would come back up on the table if he did not find a bathroom soon, so he stood up and ran. He ran into Marianne in the hall and then it was too late. The meal came up again.

Marianne was an experienced mother and grandmother and quickly conjured a bucket. She helped Severus to hold his hair out of his face as he choked. Severus could not see anything or concentrate on anything, but he heard Marianne say, "Alastor, could you please take the children to the play room?"

When Severus finally looked up, he saw Poppy kneeling in front of him. To his embarrassment, she took the bucket and examined the contents before Vanishing it. Then she thanked Marianne and helped Severus up.

"Please forgive Alexandra. She is...well...different and bossy. You know how those young mothers are. Always reading one book after the other and then they think they know everything. Of course you know best how to treat your boys. Don't let her upset you."

"We wanted a nice Christmas holiday for the boys, Marianne. It's hard enough for them with what happened in the last months and now this, but I know that it was not your opinion Alexandra was giving us."

"I will go and speak with her. I just wanted the kids out of this. Or do you need my help?"

"No, I think the boys will both do well having a nap now. Thank you."

Severus did not care that he needed to have a nap, he just wanted away from all those prying eyes and especially from that horrible woman, Alexandra. At least Alexander and Marianne had made it clear about which side they stood.

After the nap, Alastor sat down on Severus' bed and the boy gulped nervously. "Severus, what's going on?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"I mean that you normally aren't so skittish or make yourself sick just because someone says something about you."

"I was just ill from the food. I didn't like it much."

"I know that Marianne's cooking is different from what you are used to, but you didn't look ill before all the talk started. You looked as if you didn't have any appetite, but you didn't look sick."

Severus looked down.

"Do you want to talk privately?"

Severus threw a look over to Poppy and Harry. Poppy was applying some mucus cream on Harry's chest. Shaking his head, Severus said, "No, I...I don't know, I think I'm just...nervous."

"Nervous about what?"

"I don't want to get in trouble again, but you know how strict your brothers are. And that Alexandra also looks very stern and unfriendly."

"You are twelve, Severus. It's normal to get into trouble. It would be nice if it wasn't always such dangerous trouble."

Severus screwed his face.

"My relatives are not generals or monsters, Severus. I don't know what you remember about them that makes you so scared of them. They were looking forward to meeting you again. They have been nagging us to bring you over for Christmas ever since you started living with us."

"But lunch was a disaster."

"Yes, maybe, but it was just one person, and people make mistakes. That doesn't mean you need to be scared the whole time we are here."

"I know."

Alastor sighed. "Maybe a round of curling will change your mood." He looked over to Poppy. "Can Harry join us on the ice?"

"Yes, his condition is okay. We just have to take care that he doesn't overdo it." Poppy helped Harry to dress so the mucus cream would not rub off.

Twenty minutes later, they were on the big lake only a short distance away from the main house.

"Have you two ever played curling?" Victor asked.

Harry and Severus shook their heads. The rules were quickly explained, and Harry and Severus started to relax as it seemed nobody was affected negatively by the scene during lunch. Theodore, Victor, Marek, Harry, and Severus were building one group. The Moody brothers plus Joren and the woman built the other group. Only Alexandra did not play because she insisted on checking little Jegor's hands every two minutes. She tried to distract Theodore several times, asking him if he thought Jegor's hands or ears were too cold. Harry and Severus wondered how the toddler could get cold at all. They could hardly see any part of him because he was wrapped in so many clothes and blankets. They would not worry about him being cold, but rather being suffocated.

Theodore did not let himself be distracted and had a great time. After more annoying comments from his wife, he went over to her and hissed something at her. No one understood because they spoke in Russian, and she left, nagging loudly. From then on, the curling was great. Severus and Harry laughed with the others at Victor's showing-off.

Supper went well as Severus avoided behaving strangely and ate a lot. He was very hungry. The snacks Marianne had insisted on feeding him and Harry during the curling had been tasty, but all the fresh air and the sport had made both boys very hungry. Alexandra seemed to still be angry with her husband and did not take part in the conversation at the table, much to Severus' relief.

After supper, they were sent to the play room. It was a big room with all kind of toys. Marek went to play with his little sister, but Victor seemed to have other ideas. "Too bad you two had to be sick. Grandfather planned to spend the time after lunch with us in the dueling room." His tone was accusing, but Harry just rolled his eyes when Severus looked in his direction.

Victor did not see their reaction because he was peeking outside into the hall. "Come on, they will be occupied in the living room, drinking. We can go down to the dueling room now."

That comment and Victor's odd behavior should have been enough reason for Severus and Harry to be alarmed, but the good mood they were in after the fun afternoon outside made them ignorant. Soon, they reached the heavy door in the cellar and Victor pulled his wand out.

"Are you crazy? What if the Ministry finds out you used magic?"

Victor looked arrogantly at Harry. "My grandfather has so many wards on his mansion that they can't detect my magic through it. Don't be such a chicken." After a wave of his wand and a click from the lock, Victor looked triumphantly at them. "Come in!"

The room was amazing. At least Harry was fascinated. Severus was just nervous and hated himself for being such a ninny. Since when was he so scared about getting in trouble?

"Come on, let's have a duel," Victor said, excited.

When Harry stepped in the direction of the long dueling stage, Severus said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Harry. You are ill. You could get hurt."

"Youcouldgethurt," Victor said theatrically. "What is he, your mother?"

"No, he isn't, but he is right. Poppy will find out if I'm exhausted this evening."

"Merlin, and I thought this Christmas would be a cool one for once. Who knew you two were such cowards and weaklings?"

Severus was over by Victor instantly. "You will not call us weaklings, you snooty-nosed little upstart." He grabbed Victor by the front of his robes and glared at him.

"I'm a wizard and not a boor who fights with his fists," Victor stated. Severus realized his mistake too late when he felt a wand poke at his stomach and hot pain shoot through his body.

"What have you done to him?" Harry screamed when Severus fell down on the floor and hugged his torso.

"Just a stomach cramp spell. That will teach him not to touch me again. So, are you at least man enough for a duel?"

"If you think I-" Harry did not get the chance to continue because Severus had uncurled and shot a hex in Victor's direction. The hex missed him.

"Pathetic, just as I thought. Just bones and skin, but you tried to attack me physically, and then when you finally realize that you're a wizard, you send such a pathetic hex. Your father is the greatest Auror of the age; he must be disgusted to have such weaklings as his sons. If he had known how pathetic you are, he wouldn't have adopted you."

Severus, raised his wand again, ignoring Harry's protest, but before the hex left his lips his wand was flying through the room. When he followed its path, he froze. In the doorway stood a furious Alexander holding Severus' wand. "Victor, you will go to my study."

Victor did not look so arrogant anymore; no, he looked scared.

Severus was close to wetting himself. Alexander was a dangerous man; that he could remember. He had been in a special elite group in France for many years, and then he had started to work for a spell development agency. He was an expert on Dark magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts. To top it all off, he was one of the top wizards in the European Dueling Club.

"Are you hurt?" Alexander asked, trying to calm down.

"Victor cast some kind of stomach cramp hex on him. At least that's what he said," Harry explained as Severus seemed to be in some kind of shock. Alexander stepped closer with his wand in hand, but stopped when Severus fearfully crawled away from him. A wave of his wand and a Hawk Patronus flew through the now closed door into the hall.

"I just want to check if that really was the hex he used, Severus," Alexander said and held his hands up.

"I...I'm fine," Severus stuttered and then closed his eyes. He hated himself for proving Victor right. He was a weakling, a scared weakling.

"I would like to check that myself, Severus. My grandson is the best dueler at his school."

Shame made Severus' cheek glow. And what was he? Alastor really must be disgusted.

"Severus?" Alexander asked, seeing that the boy zoned out.

"I'm really fine. I-"

The door was opened with so much force that it bounced back off the wall. "What happened?"

Severus wished the ground would open and swallow him. Alastor's magical eye roamed over him, Harry, and the room.

"He didn't let me check him. You should do it. See if there was more than a stomach cramp hex sent at him," Alexander explained.

Alastor was over at Severus in a second and waved his wand over him. "It was just the cramp hex." It was a dismissal, and the two brothers knew it well enough. So Alexander left.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here?" Alastor asked.

"I'm sorry," Severus said miserably.

Alastor rolled his eyes. "I didn't ask you to be sorry; I asked what you were doing here."

"Victor showed us this room, and then he wanted us to duel with him, but Severus held me up, saying it wouldn't be good as I'm sick. Then Victor started to insult us."

"And how did your brother end up down on the floor with a stomach cramp hex on him?" Alastor asked and looked sternly at Harry.

Harry gulped and was glad when Severus found his voice again. "I grabbed him because he said something...and then he hexed me."

"You had not drawn your wand?"

"No, but I did later and now Alexander has my wand."

"So you hexed him back?"

Severus blushed. "I tried, but I failed."

"And you are sorry that you failed?" Alastor gave Severus a smack on the back of his head. "Be happy that you missed him. What did you aim at him?"

Severus blushed even more.

"Severus," Alastor said warningly.

"A...Jelly Legs Jinx." It was so embarrassing. Victor had attacked him with a real dueling hex, and he had tried to hex him with such a child's spell.

Alastor smirked. "My sweet, innocent son. I'm glad you didn't stoop to what Victor did. Spells like that stomach cramp hex should not be fired outside a real duel. I'm proud of you for not being so low."

Severus was stunned. He had expected the worst, but not that.

"Still, you snuck into this room and let Victor goad you into firing hexes. Early bedtime for both of you, I would say. So up and into your room. I will go get Poppy."

Severus grabbed Alastor's arm before he thought about it. "Don't tell her."

Alastor raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Severus looked down, knowing how stupid that had been. Alastor would always tell Poppy about something like this. "Nothing."

"I thought so. I want you to be ready for bed when I come to you with Poppy."

-II-

Alastor smirked. "My sweet, innocent son. I'm glad you didn't stoop to what Victor did. Spells like that stomach cramp hex should not be fired outside a real duel. I'm proud of you for not being so low."

Severus was stunned. He had expected the worst, but not that.

"Still, you snuck into this room and let Victor goad you into firing hexes. Early bedtime for both of you, I would say. So up and into your room. I will go get Poppy."

Severus grabbed Alastor's arm before he thought about it. "Don't tell her."

Alastor raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Severus looked down, knowing how stupid that had been. Alastor would always tell Poppy about something like this. "Nothing."

"I thought so. I want you to be ready for bed when I come to you with Poppy."

-II-

Alastor and Poppy had obviously spoken with Alexander before they came to their sons because they insisted on talking about what happened in greater detail. "What exactly did Victor say to insult you two?" Alastor asked.

"He said that we are weaklings and ninnies because we didn't want to duel with him," Harry explained.

"Is that all he said?"

Harry looked over to Severus shortly, but it was long enough to guide the attention to Severus.

After a short hesitance, Severus spilled out what happened and what had been said.

"And that affected you why?" Alastor asked.

Severus looked at him as if he had two heads.

"Obviously, you should have known that it was utter nonsense. We love you both, and that has nothing to do with how strong or experienced you are. What Victor said should not have affected you at all; you should have known better. You could have laughed in his face and left."

That was the typical solution for adults, but so unrealistic for kids. "I couldn't let him insult us."

"And that brought you where? Down on the floor with a hex on you. Who knows what that boy could have hexed you with. Severus, you should know better," Poppy scolded.

"Yeah, I should have known better that I'm no longer a feared Death Eater but a weak baby," Severus spat bitterly.

"You haven't been the feared Death Eater for long, and you aren't a weak baby now. You had no chance against Victor, but you are not weaker than your classmates. You managed to catch up with them quickly, and your magical system is developing quite well. So why do you still have to be so hard on yourself?" Alastor asked.

Severus did not reply and merely turned around, pulling the blanket over his head.

Alastor shook his head in resignation. "We will talk about it another time." He gently squeezed Severus' shoulder, and after Poppy and he had said good night to the boys, they left.

It was late in the night, but Severus had not slept at all. His arms and his stomach were itching. That could not just be from the Floo powder. Whatthehelliswrong? He groaned. If he was not able to sleep, he would make use of the night. He had made a decision. He would stop being a ninny. He would stop being weak and letting Poppy and Alastor solve his problems. He would pay that stupid brat back.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked just as Severus pushed the door handle down to sneak out of the room.

Severus rolled his eyes and turned in Harry's direction. He could make out Harry's dark frame in the dim light of the moon. "Go to sleep, Harry."

"Where are you going?"

"The toilet. Is that forbidden?"

"You never try to sneak out of the room silently when you want to go to the toilet. Don't try to fool me." Harry was climbing out of his bed and came over to Severus.

"Go back to your bed, Harry."

"Where are you going?"

Severus groaned. "I'm sick of being the little boy to be coddled and handled. I'm going to pay Victor back. I will show him how weak I am."

"Oh, great. Didn't you listen to Alastor? He was proud that you didn't hex Victor with something serious. Will you make him unhappy now?"

"I will not do something dangerous. I will just pay the brat back." He thought shortly because in reality he did not have a plan. "Maybe I'll drench him with water. Yeah, I think that's quite the idea."

Harry could not stop himself from grinning. Yes, it was not good, it was very stupid, and they would be in so much trouble, but damn it was fun. Finally, some mischief!

"So now that you know what I'm doing, go back to bed."

Harry snorted. "And let you get lost in the mansion alone? Surely not, big brother."

Severus groaned again. He knew he could not convince Harry to stay. "Then at least try to keep quiet."

They had a faint idea of where Victor's room was, and so they tried to sneak close to that area. "What now?" Harry asked when they were in the hall they had seen Victor and the other kids vanish in yesterday.

"Don't know. I guess we will have to try the doors."

"You want to just open them and look? What if we stumble into Joren's room? Or Rupert's?" Harry shivered. The idea of stumbling into Alastor's brother's room was scary. The man was as dangerous as his brothers, of that Harry was sure.

"I don't know. Do you have a better idea?"

"Victor said magic can't be tracked in the mansion."

"You lack of reading between the lines, Harry. Magic cannot be tracked by the Ministry, but why do you think Alexander came down to the dueling room?"

"Damn, I hadn't thought about that."

"Yeah, as-" Severus had to push Harry behind a suit of armor because a light went on. Victor stumbled out of a room farther down the hall. He yawned and then vanished into the bathroom.

"Our chance. You stay at the bathroom and watch out that he doesn't come out before I'm finished."

Harry wanted to protest, wanted to ask what he should do if Victor came out too early, but Severus was already down the hall and in Victor's room. His breath quickened, and he tried to fight down a cough. Poppy's potions had done him well, but he was still ill. Nevertheless, he quickly ran over to the bathroom to listen. He heard Victor shuffle inside and hoped he was not already done. He heard a hiss and a curse. "Damn, that hurt. It's so unfair. It was just a cramp hex."

Harry grinned evilly. So Victor had been punished and now had problems sitting down. The toilet was flushed, and Harry started to panic. Please let him be well-educated enough to wash his hands. Otherwise he would come out before Severus was done.

Finally, Severus emerged from Victor's room, just when Victor turned off the water. Harry had problems breathing when he ran alongside Severus back to their room. When they arrived he broke down, and Severus finally realized what was happening. "Stay calm. I have the emergency kit." He shuffled in his pocket and pulled out the injector. Quickly, he lifted Harry's pajama top and injected the potion into his stomach.

"Great. I can't even do mischief without getting an attack."

Severus grinned. "Of course you can. You just need me at your side." Then his face turned serious. "I'm sorry I forgot to take it with me. Why didn't you use yours?"

Harry waved over to his night table on which the applicator lay. "I think we have more in common than we thought." He rested, exhausted, against the bed-frame, and Severus sat down beside him on the ground.

"So what did you do? You didn't use magic, did you?"

"No, I still don't have my wand back from Alexander. I did what I could. The most fun part was that there was a magically-refilling water glass in his room. He will have such a nice surprise when he gets into his bed, and his unclothes also got quite the shower."

Harry grinned. "The brat deserves it." Harry held his hand up, and after Severus stared at it, Harry took Severus' hand and clapped it against it. "That's called a high five, and it means something like 'Well done, big brother.' It's time you behave like a teenager."

"So spanking your hand makes me a teenager?"

"Spanking?" Harry snorted. "Oh, speaking of spanking, Victor had a bit of trouble sitting down in the bathroom."

"As much as I hate to say it, I feel sorry for him. I doubt it will change his behavior at all. He most certainly thinks he was unfairly punished."

"Yes, I fear you are right." Harry rested his weight fully against the bed frame. "Spankings are stupid. They don't teach the kids anything but fear. Standing in a corner to think about what he had done wrong would have been more helpful."

"That calls for him being able to think at all, and I doubt that he is capable of that."

Harry giggled. "Right."

Severus scratched his chest. Damn, it was slowly becoming painful. "Let's try to sleep."

"Great idea," Harry said after a yawn.

X-X

"What about a duel? Old against young. Except for Victor, of course. He has other duties to take care of," Alexander said.

Victor looked grumpy and shot a death glare over to Severus and Harry. He knew exactly who had been in his room and soaked his clothes and bed. His clothes smelled now, and no refreshing charm could get rid of the smell. Too bad Victor had discovered his wet clothes only in the morning. His bed was quickly spelled dry after he had jumped into it. That had made him quite awake, and he had not been able to fall asleep again. He had feared they would come back.

Of course, he told nobody about it. The shame that he had left his room unprotected was just too big. His father and grandfather would have scolded him for not putting some wards up. Even in your family's house, you should take precaution. That's what he had learned over the years.

Severus and Harry noticed, relived, that Victor obviously had not said anything about their prank. Not that they thought that it was to protect them. They assumed he was ashamed that they had been able to pay him back.

"Great idea, Dad," Joren said, excited. "I haven't been dueling for a while."

"Then your uncles and I will have an easy duel against you and the youngsters."

"Ha, we will see, old man," Joren said and clapped his father on his back.

X-X

"Alastor, do you really think that is a good idea? Harry is still ill, and he didn't look much better this morning. Even Severus doesn't seem to have slept well," Poppy said when they were back in their rooms.

"They will be all right, Poppy. Right, boys?"

Both nodded feverishly. They wanted to try out the dueling room, and without Victor it would be great. Severus hoped he could prove that he was able to cast some good spells. He had been better in Defense Against the Dark Arts lately, and he was good at shielding.

Poppy sighed and shook her head in resignation. "All right, all right. Just don't think I will cuddle you later when you come out of there with scratches and who knows what."

Alastor laughed. "You would be all over us in a second, my dear wife. You couldn't stop yourself from going into Mediwitch mode. And even if you could, in a few hours we will be surrounded by Healers and Mediwitches who would love to take care of us."

"Oh, you..." Poppy said and waved her finger in Alastor's face.

"Time to go, boys," Alastor said and quickly guided them out of the room.

X-X

Severus was panting behind a wooden shield. Harry was beside him. "They take this really seriously," Harry said, looking wide-eyed at Severus.

"Yeah, that Stinging Hex almost hit me in my face."

"And I was almost caught by Alexander's Binding Spell."

"Already tired, boys?" Joren asked when he came to a stop beside them after a jet of fire had almost burned his bum. Hard tremors shook the wooden shield, and Harry and Severus jerked their heads down each time. Joren just grinned. "Time for a bit of strategy, boys. I will give you cover by firing at them. One of you will sneak to the right. Rupert is hiding behind that armor. You need to surprise him and get a Binding Spell on him. If you manage it, you've won your part of the mission. The other one needs to take down your father. That's the harder task. He will be alert, and you need to sneak up very close so he has no chance of countering your spell. Bind him and you win. I will take care of my father as he is the hardest part. Even if I don't get him, we would win if you two manage your tasks. So who will do which?"

Another bombarding of the shield followed, and Alexander teased them. "What? Hiding like little chickens? What a leader are you to them, Joren. That office job isn't doing you well, son."

Severus and Harry had shielded their heads during the attack. Little pieces of wood rained down over them. Harry looked over to Severus. "Can you take Alastor?"

Severus face fell. He was the big brother, so what choice did he have? He nodded.

"Decision made?" As the boys nodded and Harry got into position to his right, Joren looked at Severus. "Alastor will be behind the iron shield. I saw him firing from there. Be careful. Concealing Charm, and be silent."

ConcealingCharm.Great. The spell that Severus hated the most. It cost so much energy to hold it up, and he was already exhausted. At least Alexander had given him another magic feed this morning. The new kind of magic made Severus feel a bit more powerful.

"Okay, on the count of three. One...two...three!" Joren stood up from behind the wooden shield and fired fire bombs out of his wand. Severus caught a glimpse of Alexander, who had been peeking out from behind the iron shield that he, and most likely Alastor, was hiding behind. Then the fire bombs started to blend him, and he hoped his Concealing Charm would work.

X-X

It was a bit funny to see Severus creep closer and closer to him. His form appeared and disappeared with flickers. The shield was pathetic, but Severus was only twelve. For his age and his lack of practice it was okay. Taking his damaged magic system in account as well, it was quite good. Alastor looked at Alexander and nodded in Severus' direction. "He's almost drained. Let's end it."

Alexander nodded and pointed in Harry's direction, where he was trying to melt into his surroundings to sneak up on a chuckling Rupert. He, of course, had already seen the boy sneaking up on him, even though his back was turned to Harry. First, he could sense his presence, and second, he could see him in the Reflecting Charm he had cast on the walls and shields around him. He nodded at his brothers and forced himself to stop chuckling. It would ruin the victory for the boys. He looked over to where Joren was firing out of his hiding place. The boy was good, but Rupert hoped he would be able to fire at least one Stinging Hex at Joren before Harry caught him. Just a moment before the ropes wound around his body, he was able to fire a hex at Joren and hit home.

That gave Alexander the chance to storm over to Joren. The hex had been aimed straight at Joren's hand, and he was just able to pick his wand up before his father came around the shield. Joren was up in a second and jumped out of range of the hex his father sent at him. The old men had ganged up on him. The moment he rounded the shield to escape Alexander, a hex was cast at him by Alastor. It struck him in the foot because he was not quick enough to jump out of the way. The next hex came from his father again, and Joren felt thick ropes around about his chest. His father loomed over him, a mischievous grin on his face. "Your office job really isn't becoming of you."

Joren laughed. "But it let's my wife sleep much better at night than yours."

Severus, meanwhile had snuck up behind Alastor, and when the man cast a hex at Joren, he quickly made his move. Ropes wrapped tightly around Alastor's body, and he hid his grin by pushing his chin to his chest.

X-X

"I did it," Severus whispered, surprised, and finally lifted the Concealing Charm. He was utterly exhausted, but he felt so good at the same time. Alastor surely was proud of him as well.

"My, it looks as if we are beaten, brothers. We are getting old." Alexander, who stood in the middle of the room over his bound son, waved his wand and Alastor and Rupert sat up.

"Yes, it seemed so," Alastor said, amused, and patted Severus' shoulder. "Well done, son."

Severus' heart flip flopped, and he could not stop himself from grinning stupidly up at Alastor.

"Oh my, I'm getting too old for this," Rupert said and stood up, grinning at Harry, who was standing close to him, unsure of what to do. "Well done, Harry. I didn't see your spell coming."

Harry shyly smiled at the old man and then looked over to Severus. His brother seemed to have grown a few more inches and he held himself up straight. Harry also felt much more powerful and confident. Not even his asthma could have stopped him from dueling with those powerful wizards. Joren's tactic had been great. That made Harry aware of the man who still was lying on the ground in ropes.

"Will you release me, father?"

"I will think about it over a hot cup of tea. Maybe you should wait here and think about what you could have done better to beat us."

Harry and Severus both looked shocked. It was due to Joren's tactic that they had won, and now the man was humiliated by his father because he lost. "But it was his idea to attack you from the sides. It was his plan," Harry said, stepping closer.

"Yes, and he knew where you all were and...and we won. So he won as well. You can't leave him like that."

"Then why have you not freed him?" Alexander asked in Severus' direction, raising his eyebrow.

Severus gulped. Was this a test? Would it be disobeying the wish of the master of the house if he freed Joren? A heavy hand sank down on his shoulder from behind and Alastor deep voice came from close behind him.

"It's the task of the partners in dueling to free their partner."

"Oh," Severus said. He could not remember that rule, but he hardly could remember much about dueling rules at all. He wondered how much Albus and Radgarid had sorted away in his mind. He waved his wand and the ropes around Joren vanished.

"Thanks, man. I really feared I would have to stay bound forever. I'm sure my father would have no pity on me."

Severus grinned back at Joren, and Harry did so as well.

"So we won," Harry said when he had run over to Severus. He raised his hand.

Severus rolled his eyes. "I really don't see the point in this, but if you insist." With that, he clapped his hand with Harry's.

-II-

"Then why have you not freed him?" Alexander asked in Severus' direction, raising his eyebrow.

Severus gulped. Was this a test? Would it be disobeying the wish of the master of the house if he freed Joren? A heavy hand sank down on his shoulder from behind and Alastor deep voice came from close behind him.

"It's the task of the partners in dueling to free their partner."

"Oh," Severus said. He could not remember that rule, but he hardly could remember much about dueling rules at all. He wondered how much Albus and Radgarid had sorted away in his mind. He waved his wand and the ropes around Joren vanished.

"Thanks, man. I really feared I would have to stay bound forever. I'm sure my father would have no pity on me."

Severus grinned back at Joren, and Harry did so as well.

"So we won," Harry said when he had run over to Severus. He raised his hand.

Severus rolled his eyes. "I really don't see the point in this, but if you insist." With that, he clapped his hand with Harry's.

-II-

"Why do you keep scratching, Severus?" Harry asked when they were in the bathroom getting ready for lunch.

"I don't know. My skin has been itchy since yesterday, I think. Maybe even the day before, I can't say for sure." Again, he scratched his chest, and then he lifted his sweater to look at it.

"Damn, that looks horrible, Sev," Harry stated the obvious. "It's even bleeding."

Severus stared down at the rash on his chest. It really looked ugly. He was certain his arms would look like that as well.

"I will go and call Poppy."

"No!"

"Come on, Sev. She'll have a look at it, and then she'll give you a salve or something. It's no big deal."

"Maybe it would be no big deal if we were at home and not facing a bunch of overeager Healers in a few hours, Harry. You have no idea what they are like. I once had to accompany Poppy to a family party after I was hit with a very nasty hex by the Dark Lord. Radgarid hasn't pushed this memory to the back of my mind. I had tremors and cramps at unpredictable periods, and they were all over me, eager to find a solution. I even had to let Thomas and Janus examine me fully from head to toe. I had no chance against them as an adult, but they at least tried to give me some free space and co-determination, but now as a kid...." Severus shuddered. "I can only imagine how it will be."

Harry looked thoughtful at Severus. He did not feel right with this.

"I will tell Poppy as soon as we are back at home. I promise."

"But that's in three days! Who knows how much it will spread?"

"I won't scratch anymore. Come on, we're brothers now. We need to stick together against the adults."

Harry snorted. Severus seemed to like this argument a lot. "Fine, but if it gets worse, you will tell Poppy before we are back home."

"Okay, okay." Severus lowered his jumper just in time. Victor knocked at the door and stepped in.

"The door wasn't locked!" Victor said in his defense when he saw their angry faces. "Before you start yelling, I'm here to apologize. I'm sorry that I hexed you, Severus. I... I was just so angry. My school is making a big tournament for those who stayed at school this Christmas, and I wasn't allowed to stay. 'Family is more important than a tournament,' my father said. That's so unfair. It would have been just this Christmas. I mean, is that too much to ask? Yeah, anyway, you had nothing to do with it, and I'm sorry that I vented my wrath on you. I think we are even. After last night. And I was punished harshly for what I did."

"Yeah, I heard you muttering to yourself while you were in the bathroom," Harry said, but was elbowed in his side by Severus.

"Are you stupid? You can't confess so easily. He could go to his father now and show him this memory in a Pensieve. How stupid are you, Harry?"

Victor laughed. "Yes, he is right, Harry. I would have proof for last night now, but calm down. I don't plan on telling anyone. You proved to be cool by doing it. And as for my punishment, I didn't mean the spanking. I meant the duel. I would have loved to get three more spankings if I would have just been allowed to take part at the duel. Instead I had to help Theodore and Miss I-Know-Better with Jegor." Victor pulled a face. "She is horrible. My parents always are on edge when she is around. She thinks she knows everything about education. I mean, my parents have three children and she only has one. Still, she wants to tell them how to raise us."

Harry started to like Victor and bumped Severus on the arm. "He's okay, Sev. Come on, stop glaring at him."

"Maybe you can come over during the summer holidays. I could show you some tricks in dueling. And you can put that cramp hex on me during a duel, Severus. What do you say?"

"The duel was really fun. So maybe we will come over if your grandfather allows it. I must say I would like to learn some spells. Alastor won't teach us," Severus replied.

Victor grinned from one ear to the other. "Great! Are we even now?" He offered his hand to Severus.

After a short hesitation, Severus took his hand and then Harry shook Victor's hand.

When all three boys came into the dining room, laughing, the adults looked surprised.

"They want to come over during the summer, Grandpa. Can they?" Victor asked while sitting down.

Alexander looked quizzically at Severus and Harry who now looked uncomfortable. "Is that so?"

Harry nodded and shortly after him Severus nodded as well.

"Then you are free to come over whenever you like. Right, Marianne?"

"Of course," Alexander's wife said, beaming at the boys. "During the summer, you can explore the garden and the Quidditch field with Victor. You will love it."

"You have a Quidditch field?" Harry asked, excited, coughing. A quick glance over to Poppy showed that she, of course, had registered that coughing, and Harry was certain he was in for another round of potions after lunch.

"Yes, and I know some kids who could come over so we can have a real Quidditch match," Victor said.

X-X

Severus had almost forgotten his problems with his hands, but now after the duel and lunch his fingers were stiff and painful. He hid them in his pockets as long as possible, always careful that Poppy would not get wind of it.

"Alastor?" Severus asked while Poppy was busy packing.

"What is it, Severus? Problems?"

"No, I wondered if you could change the Warning Glass into a pendant for me so I can wear it around my neck. Argus said it can be changed into a pendant easily."

"Sure. Give it to me. Those things are charmed to be able to have three different kind of forms. This ball, a pendant to wear around the neck, and a pocket form for men. Maybe you would like the last version better. I will show you. We can still change it in a pendant if you don't like it." Alastor waved his wand, and the warning ball shrank and a long chain was attached to it. "It's charmed to be Unbreakable. You can fasten it at your belt loops with that hook." Alastor showed Severus how to wear the ball like an old fashioned pocket watch. "What do you think?"

"That's better than the pendant. Thanks."

"You are welcome, son." Alastor ruffled Severus' hair, not bothered by the protest he got from his adoptive son.

X-X

Harry and Severus stepped quickly aside when almost hysterical screaming shocked them after they stepped out of the fireplace. Who would believe that women in their fifties could behave like teenagers when they meet each other? And Poppy had been here only two months ago. The sisters were behaving as if they had not seen each other for years.

"You are scaring the boys, ladies," one of the men on the couch stated, amused. Severus remembered him to be Janus, the mind Healer. Before Severus could look at the rest of the men, his cheeks were cupped by Charlotte, Janus' wife.

"Oh, look at you, Severus! What have you done? We were all so worried."

Severus gulped and was glad when Charlotte let go of him to greet Harry. Unfortunately, he could not even take one breath before his head was patted by Nora and finally Clara, who was the most insistent one. In horror, Severus saw her eye color shift, which meant she was changing in Healer mode, and he wished he had his Warning Glass in hand to see if she was using magic. It was out of reach, but to his relief, Dexter, Clara's husband, leaned over her shoulder and winked at him. In one hand, he still held his whisky glass and a cigar in the other. "Hey, let my Potions partner be in peace, Clara. You are making him nervous. What if you scar him so much that he doesn't want to brew with me later?"

Severus liked Dexter. They had brewed a lot together, and he had always been his escape helper here. Apparently, that had not changed. He could count on him.

"Oh no, no brewing today, Dexter. He is magically drained from his activities this morning," Poppy stated while she fought her way through the crowd of Healers and Mediwitches around Severus and Harry. "And I promised them that you would restrain yourselves. Good gracious, let them breathe." She laid a protective arm around Severus and Harry and glared at her relatives.

Janus laughed. "Let's get over to the coffee table. Lotte has some nice hot chocolates for the boys and something to help you to calm down as well, Poppy. Alastor, whisky?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Alastor replied, glad to escape all the ruckus.

X-X

Harry followed Severus' example and backed away from the women as soon as they had stepped out of the fireplace. Severus had been right. They would be coddled to death. If the sisters hugged each other like that, they would be even worse with children. Harry's fear was proven right when Severus suddenly was in Charlotte's grip. He felt sorry for his brother, but was also a bit glad that he was not the one she was paying attention to. This relief was short-lived as the other sisters, the brunette, and if Harry guessed right, the youngest one, were all over him, ruffling his hair, asking him thousands of questions Harry did not understand. She let go of him when the blond woman who a moment before was occupied with Severus came over to him. She looked as if she was the oldest one. Her blonde curly hair slowly became gray, and she wore it in a high ponytail. She looked kindly at him and cupped his cheeks.

"You must be, Harry. Welcome to my home. I'm Lotte."

Harry was breathing quickly, but he could control it. Severus definitely was the one with more problems. He smelled cigar smoke, and Harry crinkled his nose.

"Dexter, really. The boy has asthma," Lotte scolded the man, who leaned over the brunette's shoulder, looking at Severus. She waved her wand and the smell vanished. The cigar was still smoking, but the smoke seemed to vanish a few inches away from the cigar.

"No fun, these women," Dexter whispered in Harry's ear after Poppy had rescued Severus and him and they were led over to the sitting group. Harry was reminded of Sirius, even though this man was most certainly in his late forties or early fifties.

Poppy kept them standing while all the others sat down. "Now that everyone has calmed down, I would like to introduce our boys. This is Harry." She gently patted Harry's hair. "And Severus here you already knew as an adult."

Harry felt like he was in an exam, even though the people looked friendly at him and Severus. He could not stop himself from coughing again. Poppy had forgotten to give him another dose of his potion after the packing, and Harry did not mention it to her. Now he could no longer suppress his coughing. As if that was a signal for them, their eyes all went to him. Harry could see how they fought not to shift into Mediwitch and Healer mode. Some were more successful than others. Especially the woman who had greeted him first; she had to be calmed down by her husband, Dexter.

"You need to take your potion after I introduce everyone to you, Harry," Poppy stated and looked worried at him.

"I can clean his lungs, Poppy. How long has he been on the potion already?" the brown-haired man, who had mostly stayed in the background, asked.

"That would be nice, Thomas." Seeing Harry's protest, she said to him, "You will feel much better after it, Harry, and we can skip the potion. It won't take long for Thomas to clear your lungs."

Harry did not miss that she had not assure him that it was painless, which she normally would have down if it would have been painless. "I feel much better already, Poppy. Really."

Poppy sighed. "We will discuss this after I introduced you to all of them."

"Yes, and after he's had a nice hot chocolate. Severus looks like he could use one, too," Lotte stated.

"Yes, all right. So boys, this is Charlotte, my oldest sister and the woman of this house. Over there is her husband, Janus." Poppy pointed at the man with the blue eyes that looked like he could read minds. He was the one that had rescued them from the women by suggesting to go over to the sitting area. Harry tried to remember what Severus has told him about them all, and he was sure Severus had said Janus was the mind Healer.

"This is Nora. She is the third eldest. Thomas is her husband. They are both working in a children's hospital. That's why I would really like him to check you through, Harry, and clear your lungs." Poppy looked warningly at Harry, who screwed his face.

"Last, but not least, my sister Clara, the youngest of us and her husband, Dexter. Clara works at St. Mungos, and Dexter also is a Healer, but he has only been working in the laboratories lately."

Harry shyly went over to his new relatives to shake their hands. Janus again eyed him with his blue eyes, and Harry was sure he was trying to read his mind or something. It was a bit creepy even though he seemed very relaxed and friendly. Maybe he should not have let Severus make him crazy about this all.

Relieved, Harry sat down beside Alastor when he was done with all the hand shaking, and Lotte gave him a cup of wonderful hot chocolate. It was even better than Poppy's.

X-X

Severus groaned inwardly. Why did Harry have to go and great them all? Now he had to do the same, and having skin to skin contact with Healers was never a good thing when one was trying to hide something.

His fear became even worse when Janus held his hand longer than normal and pulled him a little closer. This man had looked though him as an adult, and Severus knew he would be even easier to read for the man now. He pleadingly looked at him and was released. After taking a deep breath, he shook hands with Nora and Thomas. The man eyed him suspicious as well. His cover most certainly was already blown, and Severus wished he could just run and hide.

Thomas and Nora did not say anything, but Clara could not contain herself. "Severus, you-"

"Clara, Clara, didn't you hear Poppy and Lotte? The boys need some hot chocolate," Dexter said and pulled Severus over to him. "So, what have you done to not be ready for brewing this afternoon?"

Severus was relieved that Dexter had rescued him. "Ehm...we had a duel with Alastor and his brothers," he said softly. "We won."

"A duel? Oh, I bet you had one being over at Alastor's brother's place. I'm sure the visit was full of action, and now you have to spend three days here. You must be delighted," Dexter said sarcastically.

"Dexter, really. There are enough things the boys can do. The kids are never bored when they spend their holidays here," Clara said, not looking through her husband's attempt to distract her. Dexter was a true Slytherin, and had been in school with Alastor.

Severus grinned thankfully at Dexter and sat down beside Harry. He sniffed cautiously at his hot chocolate before he took a sip. He heard Janus chuckle, but ignored him.

"You robbed Severus of his magic so he won't be able to brew with me? Very Slytherin tactic of your wife to convince you to do so just to annoy me," Dexter said teasingly.

Alastor smirked in his whisky glass.

"I didn't, Dexter," huffed Poppy. "I would have loved to have stopped them, but as the only woman in this family, I had no chance." She looked accusingly from Alastor to Dexter and back.

"Oh my, and now she has back-up from her sisters. Beware, you three," Dexter said, amused.

"You are unbelievable, Dexter. Maybe you should stop drinking," Clara said and grabbed Dexter's glass of scotch out of his hand.

"As long as I have you, I'm happy," Dexter teased her and pulled her into a kiss.

It was amusing to see Dexter distract the other, but soon Severus hardly could stop himself from scratching at his chest. The Floo powder really seemed to make his rash worse. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"I will come with you," Harry quickly said, happy to escape all the Healers before Poppy would send him to Thomas.

"And I always thought only women went together to the loo," Thomas stated, amused.

Both Severus and Harry blushed and quickly left. As Lotte moved to show them the bathroom, Severus quickly said, "Third door down the hall. I still know where it is."

-II-

Alastor smirked in his whisky glass.

"I didn't, Dexter," huffed Poppy. "I would have loved to have stopped them, but as the only woman in this family, I had no chance." She looked accusingly from Alastor to Dexter and back.

"Oh my, and now she has back-up from her sisters. Beware, you three," Dexter said, amused.

"You are unbelievable, Dexter. Maybe you should stop drinking," Clara said and grabbed Dexter's glass of scotch out of his hand.

"As long as I have you, I'm happy," Dexter teased her and pulled her into a kiss.

It was amusing to see Dexter distract the other, but soon Severus hardly could stop himself from scratching at his chest. The Floo powder really seemed to make his rash worse. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"I will come with you," Harry quickly said, happy to escape all the Healers before Poppy would send him to Thomas.

"And I always thought only women went together to the loo," Thomas stated, amused.

Both Severus and Harry blushed and quickly left. As Lotte moved to show them the bathroom, Severus quickly said, "Third door down the hall. I still know where it is."

-II-

"Merlin, I'm so doomed!" Severus let himself sink down against the door of the bathroom.

"You're doomed? What about me? They want to clear my lungs, and Poppy didn't say that it would be painless like she always does when something is harmless."

Severus scratched at his chest. "It's not painful."

"But? I'm sure there is a 'but.'"

"It's...uncomfortable. You need to cough up all the mucus Thomas loosens in your lungs. He will give you a potion, and then you have to cough it all up. You better relieve yourself before he does it or you will embarrass yourself by peeing in the bed."

"What? Are you kidding?"

Severus shook his head and stopped scratching. His fingers hurt, and he had problems stretching them. Maria would kill him if she found out about it. He needed to stretch his fingers, but it was so damn painful. He looked up when he heard splashing. He rolled his eyes when Harry tried to get out every last drop. The cool water Severus let run over his hands helped the pain in his fingers, but as soon as he moved them they hurt again.

Back in the living room, Severus knew immediately that the mood had drastically changed. Poppy looked stern and came to them. "Harry, please stay here, I need to speak with Severus."

That was not good. Severus looked accusingly over to Janus, but the man lifted his hands in defense. "It wasn't me, Severus. I ask them to give you a bit more time. I was out-voted."

Severus looked up at Poppy, who now had a death grip on his arms as if she feared he would run. Not that that was not thinking about it at the moment.

After Poppy had questioned him and he had confessed everything from his rash to his fingers, Poppy announced, "I will go and get Thomas and Janus now."

"No, Poppy, please. Can't you heal me?"

"Severus, when we are in a house with class eight Healers, I most certainly will not try to heal you on my own. I can't detect what's causing the rash. If you don't want me to perform some of the most unpleasant examinations to find out the reason for it, you should let Janus and Thomas check you over. Maybe they can detect the reason without unpleasant tests. As for your fingers, I'm not trained for rehabilitation work. I could only call Maria."

"No, please," Severus said before letting himself sink back onto his bed, defeated. The room he and Harry had in this house was much more comfortable than the tidy, sparsely-furnished one at Alexander's. There stood a crooked old desk and a commode at one side of the room. The big wardrobe looked to be very old as well. It made Severus feel at home.

"I will go and send them here now, Severus. Please behave and work together with them."

Five minutes later, Janus and Thomas came into the room. Janus smiled at him while Thomas placed his bag on Severus' night table.

"Dexter made us promise to have you ready for brewing by tomorrow," Janus said when he sat down beside Severus on the bed and Thomas pulled a chair close.

Severus looked nervously at Thomas, but he knew he had to cope with Janus first. He would take the lead even though Thomas was the children's Healer. It had always been like this, and it seemed like it would not change.

"So, what's wrong, Severus?"

"Hasn't Poppy already told you?"

Janus chuckled. "Of course she has, but maybe there is more. And asking you what the problem is gives you the freedom to decide which problem we will look at first."

"It will hurt. It always hurts when Maria stretches them. That's why I didn't say something. I hate it, and it's already become much better."

"So your hands, I'm guessing? Let Thomas have a look at them." Janus changed places with Thomas, and the brown haired, well-built man took over. Janus, in comparison, was tall and blonde; he always said it was because of the Norwegian.

"No reason to hyperventilate, Severus. You already know me," Thomas said friendly and smiled at Severus. He did not grab for the boy's hands but rather held his own open for Severus to lay his hands in.

Severus sighed. His heart was beating like hell, and he really feared the pain that would come. "It will hurt."

"I promise to be careful, and as soon as you tell me you can't stand it anymore, I will stop and we will talk about a way to continue."

With a heavy sigh, Severus placed his right hand in Thomas'.

"Is it only one hand or both?"

"Both." Severus reluctantly placed his other hand over his stomach in case Thomas wanted to look at it. Janus shifted and placed a hand on Severus' forehead.

"Calm down, Severus. You make yourself ill. Thomas will be careful. He already promised."

"Maria never could be careful. She says it is necessary that it is painful because she wouldn't know the limit otherwise. Not even cooling helped."

"I don't plan on doing stretching exercises with you, Severus. It's true that it isn't possible to make a stretching exercise painless, but we are doing an examination here. I don't think this is a relapse. Your Healer would have noticed if it was. Why don't you tell me when you first noticed that something wasn't right anymore?"

Severus bit his bottom lip. "You won't tell Poppy, right?"

"No, I won't. You know that I won't say anything I didn't tell you before. Only what is absolutely necessary," Thomas assured Severus.

"I realized it about a month ago, I think. They started to hurt when it was cold or rainy outside. It got worse over the last week. Now I sometimes can't stretch them fully."

"Do you think they are feeling warmer than normal?"

Severus thought about it, but then shook his head. "It's more as if they are going stiff." He looked shocked at Thomas after his own diagnosis. "They won't go stiff, will they? I mean, I already have a damaged magic core. Please, I can't have stiff fingers in addition." Severus groaned when a wave of thick magic coursed through his body.

"Don't knock him out, Janus. I still need him fully awake."

"He was close to a panic attack. I just brought him down a bit." He lessened the magic flow when he felt Severus' heart beat slow.

"Severus, I will examine your hands now. I need to stretch them a bit, but you can tell me if the pain gets too bad." Thomas took Severus' right hand in his and started to stretch the fingers.

Tears sprang up in Severus' eyes, and he whimpered. Janus spoke soothing words in his ear; his hand still rested on Severus' forehead. The pain in his fingers slowly ebbed as Severus felt magic flow through them. They became warm, really warm, and then hot. "They're burning."

"It's almost over, Severus. Please try to bear it for a bit longer," Thomas asked.

Then it became unbearable, and Severus sobbed. Immediately, the burning stopped and pain-relieving magic seeped into his hands.

"Better?" Thomas asked as he held Severus' hands in one hand and rummaged in his bag with the other.

Severus breathed out, relieved, and nodded.

"I fear I will get in trouble with Dexter, but I hope I will have you ready for brewing at least on your last day here. Tomorrow you will need to take it easy, and I'll have to work on your hands again. This salve should keep them painless, but it also will make them a bit numb. Tell me if it troubles you too much or if the pain comes back. You have a rheumatic illness. I fear you will have problems in future as well, especially if you overwork or if the weather is cold or humid. The good news is that if you don't wait too long before asking for help next time, the healing will be painless and sometimes even the salve will help on its own. We just have to see. Do you feel ready for healing the other hand?" Severus' right hand was now bandaged and felt lovely and numb after the burning a few minutes earlier. Better to get it over with, Severus thought and nodded.

Ten minutes and a few more tears later, his other hand was also wrapped and numb.

"Okay, I know we are a bit unbearable, Severus, but that wasn't the only problem, was it?" Janus took over again.

Severus shook his head, but then looked down, ashamed. He hated to undress in front of anyone. Even with just Harry in the room he felt awkward. People always looked shocked at him because he was so thin.

"What's wrong, Severus? Why won't you tell us?" Janus asked.

"I don't want to show you. I know I don't look normal, but I hate it when people look at me as if I'm a skeleton or a monster when they see me."

"We promise not to look shocked, Severus. We know that you are underweight. We can already imagine what you look like under those clothes," Janus said. Then he lifted his hand from Severus' forehead and gently nudged him to sit up. "Come on, let us see the rash."

Reluctantly, Severus pulled his jumper over his head. He needed a bit help from Thomas as he could hardly feel his hands. Both Healers leaned over, interested. They turned his arms around and checked his back as well. Then they told him to lay down, and Thomas waved his wand over the rash on Severus' chest.

"I need you to undress completely, Severus. Your underwear can stay, but I need to see the rest of your skin," Thomas said as he stood up to give Severus more room to undress. Using the time to rummage in his bag and consult with Janus, he came back to Severus with a vial in his hand.

Severus, meanwhile, had pulled his socks and his jeans off. He felt very vulnerable now, but he was glad it was Janus and Thomas and not Poppy's sisters. Carla also is a level eight Healer, so he could have been in this room with her instead. He hugged his chest and pulled his knees up.

"No, Severus, we still don't know if this rash is contagious. Try to not touch other areas with it." Thomas pried Severus' arms away from his torso. "How long have you had it?"

"I saw the rash only today, but I think it started to itch last week."

"Hmm," Janus said and looked thoughtfully.

"Already an idea?" Thomas asked the blonde mind healer.

"Not sure. Let's try the normal tests first."

Severus jumped when Thomas had reached his thighs and spread his legs during the examination. Immediately, Janus' hand was on his shoulder and calming magic flew into him as Thomas went on with his thorough examination. Severus' face was beat red and matched the color of the rash, but both Healers ignored it.

"I have to scratch a bit on the rash to get some skin to examine it. It will hurt a bit, but not more than the scratching you have done over the last few days. Lay back," Thomas instructed and then scraped at Severus chest with a scalpel-like instrument. It hurt a bit, and Severus held his breath. He watched Thomas a minute later when he put the skin in the vial and it turned lilac. Both Healers waved their wand over it before they shifted places again.

"You can put your jeans on again, Severus," Janus said. Thomas rummaged in his bag again and waved his wand over something Severus could not see. Then Thomas closed his bag and handed Janus a big container of salve. "I will go check on Harry. Rest those hands for the next twenty-four hours, Severus. Then I will have a look at them again."

Severus looked puzzled at Thomas as he closed the door behind him. Then he looked at Janus questioningly. "What about the rash? Can't it be healed?"

"Sure it can. We'll talk about it now." Janus smiled at Severus. "First, we will apply this to the rash so you can talk without being distracted by the itchiness. Lay down again."

"Can I put it on myself?"

Janus shrugged. "Sure." He gave him the salve. "There should be a thick white layer on the entire rash."

Severus nodded and applied the salve. It was difficult as only his fingertips were free of the bandages and he still had hardly any feeling in them. When he was finished, he looked up at Janus. "Is that enough?"

"Yes, it is. Keep the salve. It will refill itself as long as you need it. Ready to talk now?"

"About what? Is it contagious?"

"No, it isn't. Don't worry. I want to talk with you about the time when you first noticed the itchiness, or rather, a few days before it."

Severus looked puzzled. "I don't understand."

"Just try to remember what happened around that time."

"I...I got in trouble. I attacked someone, and Alastor was...really mad at me. He said...he said something really bad to me."

"Can you tell me what he said and how you felt about it?"

Severus looked down. "He said that he feared I would become Dark again. I thought he wouldn't want me as his son anymore, and I felt horrible. I have nowhere else to go and...I don't want to go anywhere else. Still, I seem to do everything wrong, and even if I really try to do the right thing, in the end it turns out to be stupid or even really bad."

"You had been Alastor's son during a time when eighty percent of the wizards and witches who knew you were sure you were still a Death Eater. He always stood at your side. When he said that, he was surely under a lot of stress and very worried. People say things in moments like that that they don't really mean."

"I know, but I can't stop thinking about it."

"Are you worried you could become Dark again, Severus?"

Severus bit his bottom lip and fumbled with the salve container in his hands. "It could happen, couldn't it?"

"Of course it could, but if you stay with Alastor and Poppy, the chances are much lower, in my opinion. And it will be your decision. It's nothing that just comes over you."

"But when I was in that greenhouse, it felt good to see his panic. It felt good to pay him back."

"It wasn't right, but it wasn't Dark either. You had good reasons to be afraid of the boy from what I've heard from Poppy about it. You were under emotional stress and wanted to make him feel the fear you felt with him."

Severus looked into those blue eyes. "So you think I won't go Dark?"

"Yes, I think so. Poppy and Alastor love you and you will be raised with love this time, Severus. What reason could you have to turn Dark again?"

Severus shrugged but already felt much better. "What does that have to do with my rash?"

"Your rash is caused by emotional stress, Severus. It will last for a few more weeks I fear, but then you will get better. Use the salve whenever you feel the itchiness."

"Will I get this whenever I have stress?" Severus asked, worried.

"No, you won't. Nobody can tell why someone gets it. The only thing that is clear is that it is caused by great emotional stress. Some people are more prone to it than others. Maybe you will never get it again. There is nothing you can do about it besides talking about what bothers you before it is eats you up from inside. Now dress or you will catch a cold as well."

-II-

Severus looked into those blue eyes. "So you think I won't go Dark?"

"Yes, I think so. Poppy and Alastor love you and you will be raised with love this time, Severus. What reason could you have to turn Dark again?"

Severus shrugged but already felt much better. "What does that have to do with my rash?"

"Your rash is caused by emotional stress, Severus. It will last for a few more weeks I fear, but then you will get better. Use the salve whenever you feel the itchiness."

"Will I get this whenever I have stress?" Severus asked, worried.

"No, you won't. Nobody can tell why someone gets it. The only thing that is clear is that it is caused by great emotional stress. Some people are more prone to it than others. Maybe you will never get it again. There is nothing you can do about it besides talking about what bothers you before it is eats you up from inside. Now dress or you will catch a cold as well."

-II-

He would die. Oh, yes, he would. Right here with thick, disgusting mucus in his throat and lungs. Thomas had no pity and did not stop whatever he was doing to make Harry cough up all the mucus that the potion had loosened in his lungs. The potion had tasted like peppermint. A few second after Harry had taken it, he felt like his lungs were filling with water. Thomas had placed a hand on his forehead and another on his chest, and now Harry was hanging over a bucket, coughing his lungs out.

Poppy sat in front of Harry and spoke soothing words to him, but they had no effect on the panicking boy. Harry had no idea how Thomas was doing it, but he was sure the man had two different kind of magic flowing into his body. The hand on his chest made his lungs contract and spasm so all the mucus came up. The hand on Harry's forehead, meanwhile, was applying calming magic.

Calming? That was open to interpretation, but maybe that calming magic was the only reason Harry still could think over his panic. No wonder Poppy had not assured him that it would be painless. Severus would hear from Harry if he survived this torture. His own brother had not warned him about the horrible feeling he had right now. Not painful my arse, Harry thought and already was thinking about which hex he should use on Severus.

Finally, Harry could breathe better and after a few more coughs and spits, he was pulled backwards against Thomas' chest. Harry was totally exhausted, but he needed to tell them what was on his mind. "I hate you," he coughed weakly.

"I know, but you will see why we did it in a few hours. Taking the potion all the time isn't good. The pain will soon ebb and you will feel much better. A few hours' sleep and you will feel ready to take on anything," Thomas said calmly as he let pain-relieving magic flow into the almost limp body of his patient.

Harry had never felt as ill as he did right now. He was looking forward to falling asleep and not feeling any longer. He did not care that they were in Poppy's and Alastor's bedroom, he just wanted to sleep. He sighed, relieved, when Thomas finally placed a hand on his forehead and the world became black.

X-X

Severus spat snow out and tried to wipe the rest of the handful of snow Harry had pushed in his face away with his sleeve. "Hey, that's not fair. I can't defend myself." Severus lifted his bandaged hands for Harry to see.

"I also couldn't defend myself when Thomas tortured me. Painless? Very funny, Severus. It was bloody painful, and you lied to me!" Harry yelled at Severus.

"What did you expect me to tell you? You would have made yourself even sicker if I had told you the truth." Severus looked confused.

"I would have preferred to know what to expect, Sev. You are my brother, and yet you are behaving like one of them. It's you who always insists upon us sticking together against the adults. I didn't give you away when I got wind of your rash, did I?"

"I wanted to help you. You would have been afraid."

Harry looked angry at Severus but could not find words for his anger, so he turned around and left Severus alone by the door. Should his brother wait for the adults alone as he wanted so badly to belong to them and behave like them.

Storming down the small path, not knowing where he was heading to, Harry let the fresh winter air run through his lungs by taking deep breathes. Yes, he felt much better. Thomas had been right, but he would have preferred to still have the cough and potion than to have undergone that torture. The most ironic part was that he still had to take a potion, which tasted worse than the old one. At the moment Harry hated them all, including Severus.

X-X

"What's going on?" Alastor asked when he stepped out of the house with Janus, Thomas, and Dexter. They all were clothed in warm winter coats.

"He's mad at me," Severus muttered unhappily.

"What for?"

"Thomas tortured him, and now he's mad at me. That's exactly why I didn't want to come here," Severus said grumpily, still trying to rid himself of the melting snow on his face.

Janus grabbed his arm and then waved his wand over Severus' face. "Better?"

Severus glared at him but nodded.

"Good. Harry will calm down. I hardly believe he is mad at you because of Thomas. Try to think about it and then go talk with him. Get it out of the way. You need to learn to talk and not just look grumpy and think about how unfair the world is." Janus raised his eyebrow at Severus, who sighed and turned in Harry's direction.

"Go and talk to him. We'll go and get the sleds and then come find you," Alastor said.

With a heavy feeling in his stomach, Severus went after Harry and found him sitting on a bench and angrily throwing snowballs at something that looked like a scarecrow, but it was hard to tell because it was covered with snow.

Uncertain of what to do, Severus just stood there for a moment watching Harry throw another snowball at the snow-covered thing. The snow fell down from its top and revealed a straw head. What should he say to Harry? He was still certain that what he had told Harry was right. He would have been very afraid if he had told him the truth, and Severus knew Poppy's relatives well enough to know that they would not have shown pity on Harry. When they thought something was necessary, they would do it no matter how scared Harry would have been or how much he would have cried and pleaded. Harry would have just been embarrassed after that.

Severus gnawed at his bottom lip and nervously shifted from one foot to the other. Eventually, he made one step in Harry's direction but then stopped again. A snowball hit him in the back as he stared at Harry again. Severus quickly turned and saw Alastor and his uncles standing at a distance. Dexter gestured with his snow-covered gloves as if he was pointing at his watch.

Severus screwed his face and then turned to Harry who now was looking at him, obviously alerted by the snowball that had hit Severus. "What?" Harry asked, still angry.

"Listen, Harry. I'm sorry...no, I'm not sorry. How could I tell you? It wasn't because I wanted to work together with them or because I think I'm older or something. I just knew you would panic and they would force you nevertheless and then you would feel embarrassed. I wanted to make it as easy for you as possible." He let his head hang and only looked up when he could see Harry's boot tips in the snow in front of him.

"Next time, I want you to be honest, okay? I would prefer to know what's coming no matter how hard or bad it is. Please don't be like all the others and only tell me half-truths."

Severus looked up at Harry. "Okay. I still think it was easier for you this way."

"Let me decide what is easier for me, Sev. Believe me; I would have preferred to know. I'm sick of being left in the dark. It hurts even more if it's you."

"Okay, I will try." Severus did the only thing he thought Harry would want now: he held his hand up. "You have to hit it now, if I understand the concept correctly."

Harry laughed and then clapped his hand against Severus'. "Let's go, it seems they are waiting for us." He gestured over to the men.

X-X

Severus squeezed his eyes shut as he pressed his boots deep into the ground and pressed himself against Dexter's chest. The sled was racing down the hill at a speed that could only be achieved by magic. No matter how hard Severus tried to stop, the sled kept going. Harry's excited screams came from far ahead of Severus and Dexter, which meant that Dexter was already slowing the sled down.

"Pick up your feet. I'm already slowing it down." With that, Dexter confirmed Severus' theory.

At least Harry could hold onto the sled. Severus could not because of his bandaged hands. That made him completely reliant on Dexter, who held him tight against his chest while the sled raced down the hill. Janus and Thomas were waiting at the bottom for them.

When Severus and Dexter arrived, Harry jumped excitedly. "Now we can go together, Sev. I can hold you."

"Most definitely not!" Severus said, shocked. Under no circumstances would he leave his life in Harry's hands while he was unable to even lessen his impact in the case of an accident due to his damaged hands.

"Hey, what about us? Two adults can't ride a sled together, so each of us needs one of you to have a go as well. Come on, who will sacrifice himself to ride with me?" Thomas asked.

"Will you speed the sled up like Alastor?" Harry asked, still super hyper.

"I will even make it go faster!"

"Yeah, I'm with you!"

"Fantastic, he's the one who turned your lungs inside out, and you jump into his arms. I had to go on my knees in fr-" A snowball hit him in the chest.

"Stop being grumpy. Let's have a race! You and Janus against Thomas and me. Come on!"

"Definitely not."

"Why? It's fun!"

"Maybe for you."

Harry sighed. "Do you want to go back already?"

"No, I just don't want to break my neck racing. Janus is crazy enough to beat any speed Thomas would dare. Thomas at least has some pity for kids and knows how hard it is to heal many broken bones at once. Janus would be happy to heal any trauma I have from an accident. Mind Healers like riddles, and patients are riddles for them. So-"

"Will you stop talking? What about I take Janus and you take Thomas? We will see who goes faster."

Severus glared at Harry.

Janus chuckled. "I have a better idea. You, Harry, take the snow jump, and I will try the route without it with Severus. Maybe he will want to have a race after another round."

"A jump? Oh, great! Please, Thomas!"

Thomas laughed and then looked at Janus. "Remember what Severus said. You will have to heal the trauma."

"Harry is a tough guy," Janus replied.

"I wasn't talking about him, brother-in-law. I hope you have a lot of free time in your schedule. I'm a horrible patient."

Severus rolled his eyes as Dexter and Alastor laughed, amused. Severus was still occupied when Janus took him by his arm and Apparated him back up the hill.

"Calm down, Severus. I'll apply a Sticking Charm and hold you tight. You like to ride the sled, don't you? I thought I saw a special gleam in your eyes when you arrived at the bottom of the hill. It's just that you don't feel safe because you can't hold on, right?"

"It's forbidden to read people's mind, Janus."

Janus chuckled. "I don't need to read your mind for that. Your body language is much more obvious than it was when you were an adult. Ready to have another ride?"

Severus could hear Harry scream excitedly in the distance and remembered how good it had felt when Dexter slowed down a bit. "Just not too fast, okay?"

"We'll just use the sled's momentum without magic, and you tell me if I should speed up, okay?"

Severus nodded.

The ride was better than the first. Severus got used to it and asked Janus again and again to speed up. After several more rides with Alastor, Thomas, and Janus, Severus even rode with Harry and then he decided to go on the jump route with Alastor.

When they were close to the jump, Severus' heart dropped. "This was a stupid idea."

"It will be fun. I have you safe!" Alastor said and tightened his grip. Severus' scream was ear-piercing, but his shout of glee after they landed was even louder. Alastor felt fantastic. For the first time, he had the feeling his boys were really happy and enjoying their life as kids. Maybe now everything would become better.

X-X

Poppy almost did not recognize her boys when they came back. They both laughed and could not stop telling her what a great afternoon they had with the men. They were two different people from the gloomy-looking boys that had left the house a few hours ago.

After they had changed their clothes, they all sat together playing cards. Alastor helped Severus as the boy was not able to hold his cards due to his bandaged hands. Severus and Harry had never eaten so many sweets at one time. You would not think a whole family of Healers would spoil their guest with so many sweets, sugar-free or not, but Severus and Harry did not complain.

The next morning, Severus had to undergo another healing session, and Thomas and Janus insisted on checking his rash even though it had not changed from the other day. The healing was not painful this time, and Severus was allowed to brew with Dexter after lunch.

"Will you join us, Harry?" Dexter asked at lunch.

Harry looked apologetically at Severus. "I'm not so found of brewing lately, and I hoped I could go to the hill again." Yes, Harry had not shown as much interest in brewing after their fiasco as he had before. Severus, nevertheless, looked surprised and reminded himself to ask Harry if there was a serious problem behind it. Harry had not told him of any problems in Potions and Charlie had not mentioned it. But would he say anything?

"We can go to the hill, Harry," Alastor offered, seeing Severus worry. Charlie had spoken with Alastor and Poppy about Harry's problems in class. They had asked Harry about it and even James had tried to make him talk about it, but it seemed Harry was not ready to talk about his fear of brewing at the moment.

"If you change your mind, the lab is in the cellar. Just ask and I'm sure someone will show you the way," Dexter said before he vanished with Severus into the hall.

X-X

"Harry you can't run away from brewing forever. Charlie is worried. We already talked about it," Alastor said while he and Harry were on their way to the hill.

"I'm not," Harry replied weakly.

"You know Severus got wind of it after your refusal to brew with them. He will ask questions, Harry. Maybe you can open up to him." Alastor really hoped so. Harry had no problems in any of his other classes. He did not dare to brew and checked each step in the process several times before he dared to throw an ingredient into the cauldron. That made him incredibly slow and he had not been able to finish a potion in class.

"Can we stop talking about it? I thought we wanted to have fun." Harry quickened his pace to reach the hill faster.

Alastor sighed. "It was an accident, Harry."

Harry stopped abruptly and turned to Alastor angrily. "I made Severus' life a living hell because of it. He hates being a kid again, and it is my fault, Alastor. I put the wrong ingredients in, not Severus. If I had taken more care, if I had been more serious, he wouldn't be in this situation."

"You wouldn't be in this situation either, Harry. You always seem to forget yourself. Severus will survive and maybe even enjoy being young again. Maybe you did him a favor. He can regain his magic to almost the same extent as before."

"He will never be able to become a Potions Master, Alastor. Do you have any idea how he took that information?I robbed him of his job, of everything he was ever proud of. I ruined his career as a Potions Master!" Harry was screaming now. He had bottled this guilt up for some time and now it spilled out at once.

"Your applicator, Harry. Where is it?"

Harry dug in his cloak pocket and pulled the applicator out. Still angry, he pushed the release button and let the potion flow into his mouth. When the potion kicked in, Harry's anger slowly faded and he felt embarrassed for shouting at Alastor. "I'm sorry, Alastor. I-"

"It's all right, Harry. I'm glad you finally talked about it. Try to talk with Severus. If he doesn't hold you responsible for the accident, then you shouldn't either. You brewed that potion out of love, and you were both in bad condition at the time. It is useless to blame yourself for it. I wish you could see it as a second chance for you and Severus. Especially Severus. What do you think would have become of him had the accident not happened? You have no idea how worried we were about both of you, Harry. I'm certain that this accident was a gift and not a curse. Severus can become a Potions Master again. He just has to accept help. A magic feed isn't so horrible, Harry, and with people at his side who don't make a big deal about it, it can be a normal routine. Nothing more than a few minutes spent sitting close together on the couch while maybe talking about the day or a good glass of wine."

"Wine?" Harry looked interested.

"When he and you are of age, young man. We were talking about the future. Severus can't become a Potions Master before he has finished school, can he?"

Harry groaned. "Maybe I will join them in the lab when we get back, but now I want to have fun, Alastor."

Alastor chuckled. "All right, all right!"

-II-

"Your applicator, Harry. Where is it?"

Harry dug in his cloak pocket and pulled the applicator out. Still angry, he pushed the release button and let the potion flow into his mouth. When the potion kicked in, Harry's anger slowly faded and he felt embarrassed for shouting at Alastor. "I'm sorry, Alastor. I-"

"It's all right, Harry. I'm glad you finally talked about it. Try to talk with Severus. If he doesn't hold you responsible for the accident, then you shouldn't either. You brewed that potion out of love, and you were both in bad condition at the time. It is useless to blame yourself for it. I wish you could see it as a second chance for you and Severus. Especially Severus. What do you think would have become of him had the accident not happened? You have no idea how worried we were about both of you, Harry. I'm certain that this accident was a gift and not a curse. Severus can become a Potions Master again. He just has to accept help. A magic feed isn't so horrible, Harry, and with people at his side who don't make a big deal about it, it can be a normal routine. Nothing more than a few minutes spent sitting close together on the couch while maybe talking about the day or a good glass of wine."

"Wine?" Harry looked interested.

"When he and you are of age, young man. We were talking about the future. Severus can't become a Potions Master before he has finished school, can he?"

Harry groaned. "Maybe I will join them in the lab when we get back, but now I want to have fun, Alastor."

Alastor chuckled. "All right, all right!"

-II-

"You checked the recipe for the fifth time now, Harry. What's wrong with you? Our potion will grow hair before you finish adding the Boomslang," Severus said, eying Harry with confusion.

"Nothing is wrong; I just want to make it right," Harry said defensively. When he saw Severus' troubled expression, he added, "I can go. Maybe you'd be better brewing it alone."

Before Harry could round the working table to leave the lab, Severus grabbed him by his arm. "What's wrong, Harry? You've never behaved like this before."

Harry looked nervously over to Dexter, who was brewing at another cauldron. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"You don't want to talk about what?" Severus did not let go of Harry's arm. "You liked brewing since we became friends. What changed?"

"What changed? Are you crazy, Sev? Everything changed, and it's my fault. I de-aged you because I wasn't paying attention!"

"No, I was not paying attention, you stupid moron. I was the Potions Master, not you. It was my responsibility, but I was tired and I should have stopped brewing when I realized that." Why had Charlie not told him that Harry was having problems? "How do you manage Potions when you behave like this during brewing?"

Harry stared at Severus and then looked down. "Can I go now?"

"No. Why didn't you talk with me? Why didn't you tell me you thought about the accident like that? It's stupid, Harry." He let go of Harry's arm because he did not want to force Harry to stay. He wanted him to stay of his own accord.

"Why should I have told you? I have enough problems with Charlie because of it."

"So you are behind in class?"

"You say that as if it's a crime. It's a bit funny coming from the person that didn't want to go to class at all one month ago."

"But we could have solved this. I could have helped you."

"How? Damn, Sev, every time I brew, I think my cauldron will explode again. I don't have enough time to check it all correctly. I hate it."

"Have you any idea how often I've exploded a cauldron? That's normal. The fact that our accident had such huge consequences was just bad luck. I don't regret it, okay?"

"You..." Harry was shocked. That was the first time he heard Severus say he did not regret the de-aging.

"I'm free now. Do you remember what Radgarid said the first time we saw him? About my magic? That he had seen a restraint around it when I was an adult? I thought about it a long time and discussed it with him. Now I know that I had put the restraints on myself because I feared I would lose myself in Dark magic. I was never happy, Harry. Not even living with Poppy and Alastor. I always felt restrained, as if I had a huge burden on my back. I never lived; I just survived. My whole life was a struggle. No fun. Now, that has changed. Yes, I still hate being pushed around and being told what to do, and Binns is a pain in the..." Severus quickly looked over to Dexter, who was pretending to not listen. "Well, you know. I never felt that I really belong to a family, and I never really felt home in Poppy and Alastor's quarters, but now I do. Now I feel as if I have a family. It's much better than my other life. But sometimes you are really stubborn. You should have told me. If I'm an expert in anything, it is Potions, and my hands and my magic system problem won't stop me from becoming a Potions Master again."

After that outburst, both boys stared at each other for some time, giving their brains time to realize what had been said. Severus had not even realized that he had made that decision before he had said it out loud. The few hours with Dexter had given him back his love and passion for Potion brewing. Experimental brewing was something totally different from Potions at Hogwarts. It had taken Severus just half an hour to fall in love with brewing again. Dexter had offered to help him and even asked him to be his assistant during the holidays. If he decided to become a Potions Master again, Dexter would, of course, help.

Harry finally broke the silence. "What a speech."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Now come over to the cauldron again. I fear we'll have to start anew, I should have put the potion in sta-" Severus stopped after throwing a glance at the cauldron. A look over to the grinning Dexter told Severus who was responsible for saving their potion. "Thanks," Severus muttered and smiled shyly at Dexter.

"Always at your service, Master Severus," Dexter joked and then winked at Harry.

"So, now you don't have to check anything five times. Two is the maximum. I'm here, and you can be sure that I'm not tired. An accident like last time won't happen again. You need to get used to brewing again and then you will find it fun again."

Harry doubted this, but he felt so close to Severus after his brother's little speech that he just wanted to spend time with him. If it has to be potion brewing, so be it.

X-X

"Shh, Hamid. You will alert them," Severus hissed at the excited boy.

"But look at that! Wow, it's amazing! I have never seen so many fireworks. Your godfather is awesome."

"Kingsley just has the right connections, but if they find us here, we will be in a lot of trouble."

Harry was leaning over the big box of fireworks. "Damn, I wish we could try out one. Maybe a small one? I can't wait until midnight."

Severus and Hamid looked nervous, but none said no and none stopped Harry when he let one of the smaller firecrackers slip into his pocket.

"Now, let's just tell them we're going flying," Harry said.

"Sometimes you are scary, Harry," Severus said, biting his bottom lip and already rubbing his bum in anticipation of what would follow if Alastor caught them.

"What about Draco?" Hamid asked.

"Oh, yes, he should be here soon. Let's wait for him, okay?"

Harry sighed. "Okay, but let's get ready. Don't forget warm clothes or Poppy will inspect us."

Severus and Hamid nodded. "I'll come to your room when I'm finished."

"All right, bring your broom as well. We'll leave as soon as Draco is here," Harry said. It felt good to be the one to lead. He had much more experience than Severus or Hamid when it came to mischief, and the other two boys accepted his lead without complaint.

Their plan was perfect. Draco would come soon and they would tell him to change and then they would quickly cross the living room to where all the adults were sitting, drinking whatever was in the big bowl Poppy had placed on the coffee table. Some of the teachers were there as well, like Minerva and Pomona as well as Charlie and Kingsley. Filius, Remus, and Albus were organizing the Great Hall. As four other students were at Hogwarts as well, they would celebrate in the Great Hall that evening.

A knock at their door made them all jump. Poppy peeked into the room and looked surprised. "Why are you all in outdoor clothes?"

"Ehm...." Severus started.

"We wanted to go flying as soon as Draco comes. It's nice outside, sunny and not too cold. Good for flying." Harry smiled at Poppy with his "I'm a sweet little boy" smile.

Poppy looked doubtfully at them. "Come into the living room. Draco and his parents are here."

Severus could feel Poppy's eyes boring in their backs as they went into the living room. He wished he had Harry's calm when it came to pranks and mischief.

None of them had met Draco's step-parents before, so they were cautious when they stepped into the living room. Draco had said they were nice, but Severus always imagined them as very stern because they had to make sure Draco did not turn Dark. So Severus was surprised that they looked so...normal. Mrs. Lording was a chubby woman but a bit lighter than Pomona. The gentle smile on her face seemed to be true, and Mr. Lording was also kind-looking. He had dark hair, but he was quickly going bald. Draco introduced his parents to them and then looked nervous, obviously wanting to get out of the view of the adults as soon as possible.

"We want to go flying. You can have Poppy's broom, right? You never use it," Harry said to Poppy.

"Oh, and that means you can give it away as you wish?" Poppy asked, amused.

"Please, Poppy," Harry pleaded and threw his puppy look at Poppy.

Poppy shook her head, amused. "All right. Not more than an hour. We want to go down to the Great Hall, and you need to get dressed for it."

Severus and Harry groaned. Their suits were already laid out on their beds, and they dreaded having to wear them that evening. What was it with women loving to dress their kids and husbands in instruments of torture like that?

Draco quickly followed the boys into their room to dress in something warm. There were two more beds in Harry and Severus' room for Hamid and Draco as they would both spend the night here. The Lordings would sleep in Hamid's room. Ron had pouted that he was not allowed to stay at Hogwarts and spend New Year's Eve with them, but his parents insisted on him coming home as the whole family was there. Even Kingsley and Charlie would come over for a few hours.

"We have a firecracker, but we need to light it far away. I think we should go behind the lake. That would be safe, don't you think so?" Harry asked. He had never lit a fire cracker. Only Dudley had been allowed to do so, and then Harry had to run because Dudley always tried to hit him with the cracker. Still, Harry was fascinated by them; almost all boys were. He could not wait to hear how loud a magical firecracker was.

"I don't know. I think they will hear it nevertheless, but we could cast a Sound Absorption Spell. That's no problem," Draco explained and was again reminded that he was older than them. Sometimes it was hard to accept that.

"Great," Harry said, excited. "Let's go."

They were halfway to the living room when Alastor called them over. When they were close, he just held out his hand. Their hearts fell into their boots.

Alastor raised an eyebrow and let his hand bob a bit in the air.

Harry sighed and reached in his pocket. "Why do we have to have a dad with a magical eye?" Harry muttered to Severus and it seemed that he and Severus were the only ones not oblivious to what Harry had just said.

Dad. Never had one of them called him that. The fact that Severus did not react surprised was even more of a surprise for Alastor. His hand shook a bit when he took the cracker from Harry's hand. He quickly pulled himself together. "These will only be used in our presence, boys. I thought I made that clear."

Severus nervously bit his bottom lip. Hamid shifted nervously from one foot to the other and threw scared glances over to his master. Harry was the only who was not too worried. "We just couldn't wait. It's so long until midnight," he whined.

Kingsley chuckled. "Say, 'Please, Dad,' and he will melt and let you fire the whole box right now."

"Kingsley!" Poppy said, shocked, and slapped the tall man's shoulder. "How much punch did you have?"

"Please, Dad," Harry said quickly before Alastor could recover and tilted his head for more cuteness effect. Sometimes being twelve had its advantage, especially when you look even younger. Then he elbowed Severus in the ribs.

At first, Severus looked shocked, but when Harry mouthed the word 'firework,' he breathed in deeply and said quickly, "Please, Dad."

"Yeah, please, Dad," Draco said, amused, grabbing Severus and Harry by their shoulders. "Hamid?"

Hamid looked puzzled but then also said the "magical" words, and then all eyes were on Alastor.

"Okay, okay, you have me there." He threw his arms up and stood. "But not the whole box; just a firecracker for each of you."

It turned out to be three crackers for each of them and Kingsley, Radgarid, Remus, Mr. Lording, and Charlie had joined Alastor and the boys. Harry noticed that magical firecrackers really were much louder than Muggle ones and they sprayed colorful sparks when they erupted. It would look even better at night and all the boys were looking forward to it. They spent almost the whole evening looking at the clock or asking the adults to go out onto the grounds earlier than midnight. It did not work, not even the "Dad" trick, but the adults tried to distract them with some funny games and a karaoke show. It was very funny to see their teachers perform and after a short awkwardness the kids enjoyed singing as well.

When it was finally midnight, Harry, Severus, and Hamid half-hearty accepted all the hugs and wishes of "Happy New Year!" They just wanted to go out and the adults to hurry. Too bad that they seemed to enjoy all the hugging and kissing. So it was already fifteen minutes past midnight when they stepped outside. First, the boys and the rest of the students who had stayed at school were allowed to use the firecrackers and then Kingsley and Charlie set off the big fireworks.

It was amazing. The boys who had been all pins and needles the whole evening stood still in awe at the lights that lit up the sky. If there was one moment Severus and Harry truly felt twelve, it was that moment. When Poppy and Alastor stepped behind them and laid their arms around them, it was perfect. They were a family and their second childhood would be much better than their first. Both were certain about it.

THE END