“Who would believe that you would become so soft?” the annoying boy – well, man now – laughed at Severus. What cheek!

“Excuse me?” Severus asked stonily. After six years of correspondence, Potter had showed up all of sudden on Severus’ doorstep. He took Potter in, prepared tea for him, and now the whelp had the audacity to be offensive!

“Come on, sir. Anyone would recognise that the gnome was cursed with a tripping hex.” The brat kept grinning, his eyes still on the Jarvey who was having a hard time keeping up with the gnome, even if it was tripping and falling repeatedly.

Severus cleared his throat. Damn. How could he have known that Potter would show up today? He had started to tamper with the gnomes in the garden lately because he didn’t like seeing his pet so grumpy and frustrated. Or worse, embarrassed and resigned.

“Demosthenes is not getting any younger,” Severus opted for a half non-committal answer, and changed the subject. “I suppose you came here for a reason?”

“Yeah.” Potter nodded but showed no inclination of being about to share the purpose of his visit.

“Well?” Severus prompted after a few minutes – in which Potter had refilled his teacup and added unbelievable amount of milk and sugar.

“I need to find another job,” Potter answered evasively.

“I hope you don’t suggest I take you as an apprentice,” Severus said. The idea alone left him horrified. From Potter’s expression he could read the feeling was mutual. Thank God.

“Of course not! No offense, but I think we’ve gotten along much better since I dropped Potions.” Potter gave him a slightly crooked smile. Severus didn’t bother to remind his former student that he hadn’t dropped Severus’ class; he hadn’t been accepted into the Advanced classes after his NEWTs.

“How could I assist you in finding a job, then? Your fame isn’t enough anymore?” Severus asked; the insult formed out of pure habit. Potter pouted.

They watched in silence as Demosthenes finally caught the poor gnome and after a verbal trashing – thankfully they could only see his snout moving and couldn’t hear the flow of dirty words – the Jarvey let him go.

“Why don't Jarveys eat gnomes anyway? I mean- Why do they chase them if they won’t kill them?” Potter wondered idly. Severus sighed.

“Feel free to ask Demosthenes,” he answered. “Before he gets back, though,” – the Jarvey was currently lying on his back, lazing around after the exertion  – “finally say why you have come here.”

Now it was Potter's turn to sigh.

“Er... You know how I wrote you about some troubles with Ginny?” the boy said, continuing to beat around the bush.

Severus simply nodded. He indeed did remember more and more Potter's hints that the relationship was no longer working. Severus felt proud he hadn't told the boy 'I told you so'. Potter and Ginevra Weasley were so obviously not made for each other. Severus never understood how Potter could miss such an apparent thing. Gryffindors.

“It came as no surprise to me,” Severus couldn't resist saying.

“Right.” Potter blushed. “Well, we've split. Ginny got angry. Very angry. You have no idea of how loudly she can scream.”

“I can guess. I heard Molly a few times, after all,” Severus remembered with a wince. He probably should be more sympathetic towards Potter.

“Last night they were screaming a bloody duet,” the boy informed him with the expression normally worn by Muggles suffering from severe toothache. Severus definitely should try  to be more sympathetic.

“Potter. Harry.” There, Severus thought, using a first name should have calming effect. “If you want me to help you somehow, say how. I don't promise I will oblige, but I will hear you out. Do you want to hide?”

“Well, something like that,” Potter admitted. “Arthur's expression is worse than screaming,” he confessed. “I can't bear to see the betrayal in his eyes.”

“Gryffindor,” Severus mumbled.

Potter gave him a look, but didn't comment on it. “I thought about travelling,” the boy said instead. “I have no money, though, so I thought that you might hire to me travel for you.”

“Why don't you sell the house?” Severus knew – via letters – that on Ginevra's urging Potter had had a house built. The boy had wanted to travel, but his now-ex-fiancée had had other ideas – home and a Ministry ledger career for Harry.

“I left it to Ginny. I broke us up, and I didn't want to take the house away from her. It was her dream to have one.” Potter shrugged carelessly as if the rest of his heritage and his earnings hadn't been spent upon the building.

“Gryffindors,” Severus repeated and added under his breath, and their stupid sentimentality.

“Could you stop saying that?” Harry got up and paced, peeved. “Do you want to hear about my idea of travelling for you or not?”

“Go ahead,” Severus invited. He supposed Potter would offer to fetch required plants and herbs from various exotic countries. Well, why not, he thought. Since Severus had left Hogwarts he had made a fortune by selling Potions – both standard ones and specially crafted. He certainly could spare some Galleons on Potter, who had helped him to get this all in the first place.

“I will find a female Jarvey for you,” Potter blurted out, blushed, and corrected. “Not for you. For Demosthenes.”

That caught Severus speechless. That was... surprising. Daring. Naive. 

“Have you any idea- “

“Busty Jarvey?” Demosthenes, who had come back unnoticed, cut Severus off. “Fucking big-ass dam for me?”

Severus was taken aback by the eagerness and wistfulness in his pet's voice. It had never crossed him mind that the foul-spoken animal – who actually wasn't as grumpy as people usually believed them to be – would want a female.

“All right, Potter. Go and find one.” Severus said impulsively. “What conditions do you suggest?”

“Pay for my travel expenses,” Harry grinned at him triumphantly. Severus guessed that the boy had been expecting a large amount of resistance and had got none. Maybe Severus really was going soft?

Potter continued, unaware of Severus' musings, “You reimburse me for the Jarvey if I have to buy her from someone. Oh, and pay me something if there are babies.”

“Dirty beastly babies!” Demosthenes exclaimed, evidently charmed by the mere idea.

Where did Potter hear about this? Severus wondered. A potions recipe existed that required a piece of Jarvey placenta. Unfortunately, there was also another recipe which required a female Jarvey heart. Because of the latter one, Jarveys were nearly extinct, and therefore a Jarvey placenta was a rare commodity. And the potion using it paid extremely well.

“From Hermione,” Harry answered Severus' unvoiced question. “She went on and on about the miraculous fertility potion you can make with a Jarvey placenta.”

“Magical, not miraculous,” Severus corrected him. “I will give you ten percent of the profit from the sold potion. If there's any. And they will be reasonable travel expenses.”

Severus couldn't believe he was negotiating terms and conditions, as if it wasn't practically impossible for Potter to get him a female Jarvey.

Soon, Potter left cheerfully, seen out by a very excited Demosthenes. As the happy chatter spiced with profanities was gradually faded, Severus imagined a debate of three dirty-spoken Jarveys and groaned.

If Potter made the impossible real once again, Severus might need a potent silencing charm. Or to hide himself away at Hogwarts.