Upon arriving to the Hospital Wing for the second time that day, Snape glanced up at the ceiling. He was twirling his ebony wand in his hand. Both Aurora and Madam Pomfrey had walked off towards her office, leaving him and Harry behind to lie on the cots. However, Snape was the lucky one to have a Sticking Charm on him. That was fine. He had nothing better to do anyway.

"So, are you going to ask Ms. Granger out anytime soon?" He caught Harry's sudden coughing fit instantly. There were times for subtlety, and this wasn't it.

"Hermione?" choked Harry.

"You do spend an awful amount of time with her. It is only natural that I'd ask. After all, you are now my adoptive son and heir. I have to prepare myself before you and she inform me that I'm going to be a grandfather." Snape smirked when he heard more coughing from the young man.

"No, no, definitely not," Harry fiercely replied. "We're just friends."

"It is rather funny how quickly 'just friends' turn into 'just lovers,' Harry." Even more coughing escaped Harry's lips. The young man was obviously still rather embarrassed about sex. "It is perfectly natural after all. I believe we've seen from me just how easy it is to have lust take over." Snape caught Harry's face burning bright red. "You do know the proper spells in case you—"

"ENOUGH!" he screeched. "Please, Snape, enough," he begged.

"Well, since you asked me so nicely, Harry," Snape drawled. His dark eyes then glanced towards the two witches walking back towards them. He sighed. "Time to be the human pin cushion again," he muttered under his breath.

"I'm not drawing any blood this time, Severus," Madam Pomfrey replied before waving her wand down his body. Numerous results appeared above him. Obviously, they weren't the right answers, though, because she shook her head. "This doesn't make any sense. Severus, list off the ingredients you used to brew that potion." He quickly rattled off the extensive list. "Wait…did you say Virgin tears?"

"Yes, for the second time," Snape answered annoyed with her. "I added five drops."

"It states to add two, though," she responded glancing at the familiar sheet in her hands.

"What? You're clearly mental if you think that," Snape briskly snapped. "The directions clearly state to add five. Obviously, you're as blind as you are deaf, Pomfrey."

"Oh, really?" she replied huffily. "Then how is it that this list that you yourself used clearly states two drops, not five?" She put her hands on her hips after he snatched the instructions from her.

Snape quickly skimmed it before closing his eyes. She was right. It did say add two drops, not the five he added. At least they knew what happened now. Excessive use of virgin's tears would create any potion to become unstable, which was probably why he was going from one extreme to another. He shook his head slowly. He was the potions master for Merlin's sake. How could he make such a stupid mistake like this?

"Remain here, Severus, and I'll bring the draught."

Snape didn't reply. He was still internally seething at himself. He was such an idiot. It was no wonder that he was acting like a stupid teenager. He had practically turned himself into one. When he saw the amber liquid in front of him, he huffed rather annoyed. All he had to do was drink that, and he'd be back to normal. He quickly snatched it from the mediwitch and threw the draught back as if it was a stiff drink. He caught the look on Harry and Aurora's faces, though. Well, it was fun while it lasted, he thought disdainfully.

Darkness quickly settled into his mind as the draught took over. He closed his eyes and let it. While on one hand, he didn't want to go back to being a bastard, he also didn't want to become an idiotic teenager. If a way that he allowed himself to feel around her existed, he would take it in an instant. He had to admit that he rather enjoyed himself being happy for once. He felt almost normal. He also was able to keep from yelling at Harry for doing all the things that was normal for a young man.

No, this is the way it has to be, he concluded in his mind. I can't act as if I'm someone else. My emotions control me and leave me vulnerable. He then sighed. Though, I'd gladly wish that I could control myself so I could be both. So I could continue to be the reserved Potions Master, while allowing myself to be passionate with my fiancée. I wish that I could…I do not want to become my father, though. I do not want to hurt her, Harry, or our child. I cannot hurt them, not now, and not ever. I love them.

~PS~

Several hours later, Snape sat on the edge of his bed staring at the wall. Upon awakening in the Hospital Wing, he informed Aurora and Harry that he wished to be alone. So far, both were respecting his wishes. He had tried to go for a walk to clear his mind. That only left his mind even more muddled then before, though.

His Occlumency barriers were intact once more. He couldn't shake the feeling of being empty now. He tried everything to feel like he had before he took that damned potion. Nothing worked. He knew why he felt empty, though. He just didn't want to accept it as the only truth possible.

Snape drew in a slow breath before walking towards his draped window. He pulled back the heavy green velvet curtains and stared out at Black Lake. Nothing was out swimming around to distract him, though. Only left with his depressing thoughts, he sighed heavily and turned around to walk towards his armoire. He glanced at the numerous black outfits. No doubt, Aurora had changed his robes back to his usual black at some point. He was rather grateful that she had. He was comfortable in black. After all, it hid the blood rather well from prying eyes. He then sighed and hung his head. He didn't need to worry about hiding blood from anyone anymore. The Dark Lord was gone. He didn't have to pretend to be Severus Snape, bastard of the dungeons. He could be anyone he wanted to be now. That was if his mind allowed him.

Walking into the lavatory, he glanced at himself in the mirror. What did Sinistra see in him anyway? He wasn't attractive by any means. His nose showed the fact that he had broken it hundreds of times. His long dark hair hung in clumps of grease. He then scoffed. Well, that had changed at least. He wasn't a greasy git anymore. Shaking his head, he stared intently at the deep wrinkles on his face. He looked old. The war had definitely aged him.

Just to see if he could, Snape tried to smile. Several moments later, though, gripping the edge of the sink, he hung his head and closed his eyes. His smile was positively frightening to behold. That nagging feeling of emptiness in his chest wrenched even more. He'd lose her. She's take one look at his creepy smile and run screaming in the opposite direction. She'd probably run to Black. It'd be fitting. He lost Lily to Potter. It was only natural that he'd lose Aurora to Black. He then clenched his hands into tight fists. He was depressing himself even more.

"Ah, Severus, my boy, there you are," a cheerful voice said from the doorway.

"You don't perhaps have a lemon drop on you. Do you, Albus?" Snape replied softly. He caught Dumbledore's puzzlement immediately. "It'd be much more interesting if I died by one of your horrid lemon drops than any other way," he explained.

"Surely, it is not that bad, Severus," Dumbledore spoke resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Snape quickly pushed back his thoughts and morphed his face back into neutrality. He couldn't be sniveling to the Headmaster about such things. He was thirty-five years old for Merlin's sake. He didn't need a goddamn hug or any other stupid thing to make it all better. That was after all why he was a skilled Occlumens.

"I take it there's a reason you showed up in my quarters unannounced yet again?"

"I only wished to see how you were doing, Severus. There are no ulterior motives."

For once, Snape added in his head. He only nodded, though, before walking out of the lavatory. His eyes briefly rested on the ruffled bed that smelled so much like Aurora. He had to get out of this damn place. He briskly walked down the corridor towards his sitting room and heard Albus following him.

"Something is troubling you, Severus."

"A great deal is troubling me, Albus, but there is no need to speak with you over it."

"Then perhaps you should have a session with Madam Pomfrey."

"I'd rather kiss Trelawney," Snape replied with a growl.

"I doubt Aurora would appreciate that, Severus," Albus said with a soft chuckle. "You worry too much over things, though, my boy. She will think nothing bad about you because of this. After all, it appears that our Astronomy Mistress has been crushing on our Potions Master since her Sorting Ceremony. I am correct that she was the first to learn about your Mark, other than the obvious, of course?" He nodded curtly. "And yet, she still loves you even after that grave mistake. What makes you think that she will stop now because you have returned to your usual self?"

"She saw how I was without the inhibitions the barriers enact upon me," Snape admitted quietly.

"You mean she saw the things you hide deep within yourself. Emotions are not a weakness."

"I have seen too many wizards brought down by their emotions, Albus."

"You are concerned that the others will someday be free again?"

"Not concerned, just apprehensive," Snape replied. "I have lost one woman I loved. I…It will be too much for me to lose another."

"So then you wish to push her away?"

"I do not wish it," he snapped. "I would like nothing more than to be with her right now…to tell her how much she means to me." He then angrily ran his hand through his hair. "I can't get the damn words out, though. I can't tell her that I love her without risking the chance to sound like an idiot."

"I see," Dumbledore replied. "Would it help any if I informed you that she would perhaps understand your hesitations? She, after all, knows the most about your past."

"It wouldn't help," he glumly responded before dropping onto the side of his bed. "I am fearful that if I lower my barriers near her that I might hurt her someday. I do not wish to become my father."

"You proved that you would not, Severus."

"That was the damn virgin tears, Albus, not me."

"Then I take it that it was that, which made you write 'Slytherin rules' on the front doors?" When Snape closed his eyes and brought his hands to his face, Dumbledore chuckled. "I had thought about asking the house elves to remove it, but it is a rather inventive charm."

"Only you would think that, Albus," Snape replied with a forced snort.

"Ah, yes, well, I am an old Gryffindor, you know."

"Meaning that you should be angered about that graffiti," he pointed out.

"Perhaps, but it will lead to some interesting competition this year, I believe."

"Then you wish for the twins and others to retaliate against Slytherin?"

"Not at all, my boy, only I wish to see the students start to take pride in their houses without the need of violence between the two houses." He then sighed. "Aurora wished me to check on you."

"Congratulations, you've done that," Snape drawled before sighing heavily. "She asked you to come here so that I would be inclined to allow her to come back. Didn't she?" he asked. He then scoffed when Dumbledore nodded.

"Young Mr. Potter is at Grimmauld again. I thought it best while you and Aurora are working things out. After all, he appears to have picked up a trait from you, the need to be distracted."

"What if I can't get the words out, Albus?" Snape asked catching Dumbledore's blue eyes.

"I've always believed you to be more of a doer, Severus, then a speaker in matters of the heart. After all, adopting young Harry took no words for him to understand your intentions were pure. I shall send her in immediately." He then patted Snape on the shoulder once more before walking back out of the young wizard's quarters.

Snape sighed heavily. He knew that he needed to speak with her. He didn't want to pull back from her. Hell, if he could, he'd take her in his arms and make love to her again with no intention of ever letting her go. He then snorted.

"Severus?" Aurora softly said behind him.

"Come in." He quickly stood up and faced her. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. He could see the fear in her eyes. She knew. He then swallowed harshly. It wouldn't be that way. He'd find a way to make this work. Even if it killed him the process, he'd find a way. "I apologize for my behavior for the past—" He stopped immediately when she held up her hand.

"I understand. It was the potion. We've gone through this already. Just say it, and I'll go."

"No."

"Excuse me?" she asked with a loud scoff.

In two long strides, Snape was upon her. He pressed her against the wall and feverishly kissed her. He could feel his blood start to grow hotter as he deepened their kiss so he could taste her. She was like his Moonseed poison, and he didn't care. He wasn't going to push her away. He wasn't even going to push Harry away. They were his life now, and soon the child in Aurora's womb would be too. He just wanted her too much. He wanted this life, this happy life, too much, and he'd take the poison with it.