***2 March, 1987***

"Severus…Severus lad…I do believe your mind is elsewhere at the moment."

Severus sighed heavily as he out down the parchment containing his student's progress over the past two months. All seemed to be in order. Filius Flitwick was more than a master of charms; he was quite possibly one of the most organised wizards Severus had ever come across. Filius had managed both Severus' and his own O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. level students whilst delegating the lower level classes to a few of the more promising seventh formers. All seemed to be in order, but in honesty, Severus' eyes had not moved past his list of first years.

It was his first day back since Lucy's attack. As reluctant as he was to return without Lucy being fully recovered, he had no choice in the matter. His leave was spent and he had a family to support. Esther had returned home two weeks previous as her leave had also been spent. His colleagues had sacrificed their time and talents over these past few months in order for Severus to care for his fiancé. Severus wasn't about to exploit their generosity any further. Now that Lucy was capable of walking again, albeit with aid, it was time for him to resume his responsibilities to his students and colleagues. At least Lucy had reached the point in her physical rehabilitation that she was now capable of walking with an aide of a cane.

Severus had arranged for her subsequent therapies to be scheduled on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons when he could take time off during his extended lunch periods on those days, and again on Saturdays. He refused to let her go through the harrowing exercises alone. Severus had moved his family back to Hogwarts so he could be closer to her in case of an emergency. Lucy intended to resume her work on the Slytherin manuscript, but for various reasons, Severus doubted her heart would be in it. Aberforth, Lupin, and Black had also offered to stop by their quarters and keep Lucy from going stir-crazy. Severus hoped their combined efforts would be enough.

What was vexing Severus at the moment was not so much Lucy's physical condition as her mental one. As much as he needed to begin work again, he still wondered if he were doing the right thing. Lucy still remembered nothing of her attack or of losing Felicity. She had not cried since the night of her awakening and that worried Severus to no end. She refused to even speak of it. And her new behaviour when it came to Harry gave Severus cause to worry.

It was obvious to Severus that Lucy had not yet come to terms with the loss of their child. He could only pray that when she did, he would be home to help her. He had grieved over the loss of Felicity with Harry and his family and friends...but Severus still felt the need to grieve with Lucy. He berated himself for selfishly feeling that Lucy was denying him his need to move beyond.

"Severus?"

Once again, the Charm's Master's squeaky voice cut through Severus' musings. "Oh...I do apologise, Filius," Severus said languidly as he cast a warming spell over is now cold morning coffee. "What were you saying about the progress of my fourth years?"

Filius' grey eyes remained fixed on Severus as the younger man drank his coffee. "I was saying that they appear to be ready to begin work on the Mandrake Draught, but I was not willing to put that responsibility of teaching it in the hands of a student...even one as talented as Ms Alderton. But I do believe your worries are not set on the proper procedure of handling mandrakes in a potion's lab, am I correct?"

Severus laid his coffee cup down with a hard thud. Thankfully he had already drained the bitter brew or it would have sloshed all over his Himalayan sized mountain of paper work. Severus first inclination was to tell his diminutive colleague to mind his own damn business. As much as he respected his one-time professor and now peer, he had no desire to speak of personal matters with him, so Severus opted to ignore his question all together.

"No doubt she hasn't been herself as of late. Considering what she has been through, it is of no surprise. From what you and Albus have told me and the rest of the staff, Lucy seems to be doing remarkably well under the circumstances."

"Perhaps too well," Severus mused aloud. He was horrified with himself that he had fallen into Filius' trap. He immediately changed the subject. "I'm sorry. My personal problems are of no consequence. Now back to the fourth ye..."

"Severus, you have nothing to apologise for. I have been in your position and understand exactly what you are going through."

Severus' eyes gazed up from the parchment he had once again feigned to read. He could not keep the words from coming of their own volition. "I was not aware that you lost a child, Filius." It was common knowledge that Filius Flitwick had enough children to start his own football club, but from what Severus understood, all if the little wizard's massive brood was still healthy and hale.

"Nor would you, as it was well before your time...1914, to be exact."

Severus face was drawn in horror when he heard the date. He could see it in Filius' eyes. "Castilian Sortilege Influenza," Severus said gravely as Filius nodded his assent.

The affliction had burned a path across Europe and Northern Africa, and then crossed the Pond over to the U. S. and Canada completely decimating some small wizarding communities the world over beginning around the time of the First World War. A cure was not devised until 1916. The curing potion was the creation of an American Wizard. It was later discovered, however, much to the horrific shock of some and the perverse pleasure of others, that the disease was not eradicated, but rather, it mutated to affect only Muggles. Amongst Muggles, it gained infamy Spanish Influenza. The irony was not lost on the wizarding world that the Muggles had unintentionally named the scourge after the very country the original strain had reared its ugly head. The Muggle strain had begun in the United States with the 'cure.'

"Fiona had contracted it when she was seven months pregnant with our first son," Filius continued sadly. "He was born seven weeks early, as well as having contracted the flu from Fiona...He survived for two hours. Fiona eventually recovered from the sickness...it took much longer for her to recover from her feelings of guilt over what had happened."

Despite the near seventy-plus years that had passed since the loss of his first born, Severus could still see raw pain shadowed behind Filius' eyes. Severus had to close his own eyes to shelter himself from Filius' grief and draw back his own tears. Apparently...time did not heal all wounds. Doing a poor job in steadying his voice, Severus quietly asked, "I don't understand. Why would your wife blame herself? No one knew how to prevent the illness in those early years."

"The pain of survivors guilt it practically unbearable when it is your own child who dies. It is hard enough for us fathers, but when tragedy strikes when the child is still in the womb...I must admit...I don't know how Fiona did not die from a broken heart."

A cold chill ran up Severus' spine with the memory from all those months ago. Lucy had come to him, uncertain if she should even tell Musgrave of her pregnancy. 'Trust your instincts...whilst you are carrying the child...you are ultimately responsible for its safety.' He had said those very words to Lucy and encouraged her to compromise with her former lover. In the end, Musgrave had his way. The guilt should be Severus' burden to bear —not Lucy's. But no…that wasn't right either. The person who bore the sole guilt over Felicity's death was now gone. He had become nothing more than arachnid excrement long ago.

What worried Severus, was Lucy's apparent apathy. Though he found it dismaying, Severus could understand why she refused to speak of what happened but her lack of tears, her apprehension, and her unpredictable moods…that he found disturbing.

Severus couldn't bring himself to ask the question that was perched on his dry lips. Instead, he focused question on Filius' wife. "Did…did she require a Mind Healer?"

"No," Filius said with a sad knowledge. "We managed to work through it together. It just took some time and a great deal of patience. Severus, people deal with grief differently. Do not be surprised that when the shock of your girl's death finally hits Lucy…well, let's just say things can get pretty bad. Just be there for her, because it is then that she will need you more than ever."

Severus felt as if he had swallowed his Adam's apple. His own feelings of guilt were almost overwhelming and he felt rather small in front of Filius, because frankly, Severus thought he wasn't being helpful to Lucy at all. In fact he felt just the opposite especially after the other night. He and Lucy had their first fight in months. This time it had been over Harry and Severus could kick himself for the decision he had made. He had done what he had thought best for Lucy and Harry, but now, he questioned his own wisdom.

The argument had begun when Severus mentioned that Harry would be returning to the Weasley's later in the week.

"Why are you taking Harry from me? Were you even going to discuss this with me before you sent him away?"

The accusation had broadsided Severus. "Lucy, no one is taking Harry away from you, and I'm discussing this with you now. You know going to the Burrow is more than a play date for Harry. Molly is also his teacher and it's time he returned to formal lessons."

Lucy's chest was heaving and her turquoise eyes bore into him. "I'm a teacher, Severus. I can teach our son!"

"I'm quite aware of that, Lucy," Severus tried to sound magnanimous, but he knew he was going to fail miserably. "But you are still undergoing therapy. You still tire easily. Do you honestly think you can take care of a six-year old boy?"

Severus knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing. "Are you suggesting I am incapable of caring for my own son, Severus?" He had to step back and rethink his approach. At least that was the excuse he gave himself. The cold glare Lucy was giving him at the moment literally ran a chill up his spine. Though she was still recovering physically from her month long coma, there was nothing wrong with her magic and he could feel it roll off her in waves.

"Lucy, I'm not saying that at all," Severus said carefully. "But you yourself said Harry was at the age he needed to make friends and explore his independence."

Lucy's jaw opened as if she were to refute Severus' argument, but the raw magic she was emitting had ceased as quickly as it began. Lucy abruptly closed her jaw tight, and then her face dropped as she nodded in an admission of defeat.

Now that he thought about it. Lucy had been especially clinging lately, in particular when it came to Harry. Lucy had scarcely let the child out of her sight. The first thing she did every morning upon wakening was enter Harry's room and sit beside his bed —watching and waiting for the boy to wake up. She tucked Harry into bed every night and read to him until he fell asleep. On more than one occasion, Severus had to carry Lucy into their own bed after she had fallen asleep in the rocking chair she had placed next to Harry's bed. On the nights Lucy didn't fall asleep and Severus had coaxed her into coming to bed, Lucy placed enough wards around Harry's room to rival Gringott's.

Harry was always happy to spend his days with his mummy and Lucy taught him his reading, writing and maths. If Harry ever left the same room she was in, Lucy would make her excuses and follow him into the next room. Her behaviour ranged from doting to dotty and her eyes never left Harry.

Originally, during Lucy's difficult physical therapy, Severus was reluctant to allow Harry to stay in the same room. But Harry and Lucy both protested and against his better judgement Severus agreed to allow Harry to stay for one. Harry encouraged Lucy and when Severus noticed the boy faced Lucy's treatments bravely and Lucy responded positively to the child's presence, Severus continued to allow Harry to attend Lucy's therapy sessions.

In all honesty, Severus was beginning to find this new behaviour of Lucy's worrying…bordering on disturbing. But it had occurred to him that Lucy was being overprotective. She had lost one child and she would not lose another. Lucy was like a she-dragon protecting her surviving fledgling.

And she was afraid…no…filled with terror.

The day she discovered her pregnancy, Lucy had told Severus that she was afraid —and she was, but it was nothing like this. That was simply uncertainty of what the future would hold. It was a fear that every man and woman faced at some point in their life and Lucy had faced it head on. But this…this new fear…It was if Lucy had become afraid of some imagined Muggle bogey-man and that bogey-man was out for Harry. Lucy was fully aware of the fact, if not the details, that Musgrave was dead. She knew that the bastard no longer posed a threat to Harry or herself, yet she was more afraid now of shadows than she ever was of Musgrave.

Severus was at a loss for what to do. He had to return to work. But Lucy's new obsessing over Harry wasn't healthy, for her or for Harry. And if Lucy ever lashed out over an imagined threat to their son…well…it wouldn't be healthy for the person on the receiving end of that curse either.

Harry needed to return to a normal routine and if Lucy were in her rational mind Severus knew she would agree with him on that point. But Lucy wasn't in her rational mind and Severus prayed he had done the right thing.

***6 March, 1987***

The silence was deafening. Lucy sat rocking in the chair in Harry's room stroking her bunny's…Harry's bunny's silken, silver-grey fur surrounding herself with the sights and smells…anything that could remind her of the boy. She had already fallen asleep once since Pawpaw and Alf left after lunch.

Lucy had never felt so alone. She knew she shouldn't. She hardly lived alone, yet even when she did, Lucy never felt so empty and lost as she did right now. Logically, Lucy knew Severus was right. It was time for Harry to resume his formal studies. But damn it…she was more than capable of teaching their son. Yes, Kenneth was no longer a threat, but what of other threats?

At the random thought of Kenneth, Lucy's hands tightened around Thor, and the bunny hopped to the floor in protest. Afraid that thoughts of her ex would send her mind down a path she was not ready to tread, she pushed him to the back of her head and refocused on matters she could face —Death Eaters.

One more than one occasion, Severus had told her that there were still Death Eaters at large. As warded as the Burrow was, it wasn't impenetrable. Just look what happened with that Pettigrew jerk. Molly had her hands full with her own five children at home, she couldn't possibly watch Harry all the time. Lucy was in a much more enviable position to watch over Harry. It wasn't fair and at times like this, when all she had was her over-active imagination and a rabbit for company, she could not help but resent Severus. She was accustomed to having the child with her all the time, now she just felt lost.

Not long before her company arrived, Lucy placed a fire call to Molly, just to insure herself that Harry was indeed doing well. Considering that she normally would have made three fire calls by this time, Lucy thought she was doing much better. Severus would be quite proud of her…if he had known, that is. Molly had taken sympathy with Lucy and her situation, so she kept Lucy's mid-day calls to Harry to herself.

Lucy was well aware she was acting paranoid, but for the life of her, she did not know how to stop. Two nights ago, after they had put Harry to sleep, Severus asked if she wanted to speak to a Mind Healer. At first, she had been appalled that Severus would even consider asking such a question. For some reason, she had felt betrayed. But as always, Severus' logic was flawless and his arguments well defended, and Lucy was in no state of mind to refute him. She promised him she would think about it.

As much as her desire to check in on Harry nearly set her body on fire, she refrained from doing so. She was going to prove to herself that she had nothing to be afraid of by Harry returning to Molly's. She was going to get through this. Severus was afraid she was developing a co-dependent relationship to a six-year old child and frankly, so was Lucy. Lucy was the parent and it wasn't fair to Harry. But Lucy was afraid to let go and even more afraid that she didn't know why.

She sighed heavily and reached over for her cane that was propped against Harry's nightstand. Putting her weight in the cane she shakily arose from the chair and paused to look for a moment. Being raised by Severus obviously was reflected in the boy's room. Stuffed animals and books were neatly in place on their shelves, but peaking from under Harry's bed was a filthy pair of jeans.

Lucy took out her wand and the offensive clothing flew out from under the bed and into her hands. They reeked of garden soil and little boy sweat. She had come to love that smell. Harry and the Weasley children had been outside chasing garden gnomes again. Devon must be looking at an early spring this year. It had been so long since Lucy had been outside, she had not even been aware that the seasons were changing again. Reluctantly, Lucy banished her boy's jeans to the House Elves for cleaning. She was sorely tempted to keep them, then thought better of it. Severus wouldn't understand, but then again, neither did Lucy.

She supposed it was time to start on her research again, but her heart was lost to it. Her heart seemed to be lost to so many things lately. Slowly, Lucy walked to the door. She turned once more to look at Harry's room. She wiped away a stray tear with the back of her hand and berated herself for her over sentimentality. Harry would be home in a couple hours. It wasn't as if he were gone forever like….

Lucy almost did it again. She slammed the treacherous thought to the back of her mind and slammed the bedroom door just as hard and tightly. She couldn't stand to think about that. She wouldn't think about it. Lucy could barely survive the afternoon thinking about Harry being a Floo away. How would she ever survive if she thought about her.

***9:36 p.m.***

"When the grounds were deserted once more, there wriggled from a whole between the roots of the tree stump a stout and whiskery old rabbit with a wand clamped between her teeth. Babbity hopped out of the grounds and far away, and ever after a golden statue of a washerwoman stood upon the tree stump, and no witch or wizard was ever persecuted in the kingdom again." Lucy carefully closed the gilded story book that had been a gift from Harry's godfather. Harry sat up in bed listening carefully to the story along with Thor. He never looked so dear.

She sat on the edge of the bed with Severus next to her. "Let me see your rabbit, Harry," Severus said gently as he arose. "It's time for sleep."

As Severus leaned over and kissed Harry on the fore head the boy handed him his bunny. "Can't I have just one more story, Daddy?" Harry pleaded. "The Three Brothers?"

Lucy watched as Severus gracefully put the animal in its cage. "Harry, it's time for bed and your godfather will be here early in the morning. Besides, you already know the story by heart."

Lucy's heart raced. Apparently, while she was in her coma, Severus and Sirius had come to an arrangement that Black could take Harry one weekend day every month. The day had been planned since before Lucy awoke. She had several weeks to prepare for the day, but she wasn't ready. True, she had physical therapy tomorrow, but that had never been reason to send Harry away. But what did it matter? No matter what Severus told her to the contrary, she wasn't Harry's mother yet. It was of little difference what Lucy thought. The last word would lie with Severus.

She had to keep from giggling at the look on Harry's face. "Well, I know them all by heart." Though Severus had his back to Harry, Lucy knew he could practically hear Harry's eyes roll to the back of his head.

"Harry, cheek will not convince me, otherwise." Severus' silken voice lost its sternness in the edge of humour that crept in. Only she and Harry knew Severus well enough to recognise it.

"Please, Daddy."

Lucy parroted their son. "Yes, please, Daddy?" She had spent so little time with Harry this week. She felt cheated. Lately, she always felt cheated.

Severus feigned a long suffering sigh. "Well, I don't suppose I can fight you both off, now can I?"

Lucy smiled despite herself. The muscle movement felt strange, yet familiar. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

It felt good when Severus sat down next to her again and put his arm around her as opened the book once again and read to their son.

Harry had finally fallen asleep. Severus had stayed with her as Lucy rocked quietly in her chair, watching over Harry and patently waiting for him to enter the Land of Nod. Severus kept his hand around her waist as he quietly closed the door behind them. Lucy reached for her wand to cast her additional wards, when Severus gently lowered her hand and said softly. "Lucy, he will be fine. I promise you."

Lucy nodded spiritlessly and Severus whispered in her ear, "Come, darling…we have a long day tomorrow."

Lucy's hips were still very stiff, and she leaned on Severus as they began to cross the hall. Halfway between Harry's room and theirs, Lucy stopped. "I know it's getting late, but I think I'd like to shower tonight instead of in the morning."

"Would you rather try a bath? You're strong enough to sit up on your own. It might help your joints. I can help you if you like."

"That sounds marvellous," Lucy admitted.

Severus led her into the bathroom and conjured a chair for her to sit in as he drew the hot bath water. She could smell the fragrance miltonia orchids waft through the air as he added her favourite bubble bath. It had been a Valentine's Day gift from Severus.

Lucy removed her outer robes easily enough, but her hips wouldn't cooperate as she tried to wiggle out of her skirt. "Damn it," she exclaimed under her breath in frustration.

"Here, let me help," Severus said right after he finished casting a warming charm on her bath water.

He knelt down on the floor directly in front of her. Lucy leaned over and wrapped her arms around Severus' neck for support and he lifted up her bum just enough to pull her skirts and panties below her hips.

"I hate this," Lucy muttered.

"I thought you enjoyed it when I undressed you," Severus said good humouredly as he easily lifted a naked Lucy out of the chair and carried her to the claw-foot tub.

Lucy didn't know how to respond. It was more probable than not that Severus was only initiating innocent banter, but so often in the past that innocent banter led straight to the bed. Not that Lucy ever complained or wanted it to change, but in her current condition she didn't exactly feel sexy.

Severus did not seem offended at her lack of response and tenderly placed her in the tub. Lucy let her body relax as the warm water engulfed her weary bones. She hadn't even realised how tired she had been.

Severus thoughtfully put her loofa, soap, and shampoo within reach on the tall, round, tri-legged table next to the tub. He leaned over and kissed her lightly on her closed eyelid. "I'll get your pyjamas and bath robe." He kept the bathroom door cracked as he left Lucy to soak alone.

The water was deliciously warm and the steamy air was subtly floral. Lucy leaned back her head and lazily rested her arms over the sides of the porcelain tub. She could kiss Severus for this suggestion. Lucy couldn't remember the last time she had felt so wholly relaxed. Severus certainly knew how to cast a spell on a woman. She could lie like this until she pickled.

The water was deep and relating on her sore joints. Lucy gingerly began to lift her leg against its gentle resistance. It had never occurred to her that a hot bath could perfectly supplement her rigorous physical therapies. Her right leg broke the surface of the water and she gasped in horror. Good Lord! When was the last time she shaved her legs! He legs were as harry as a yeti's! She would have to do something about that tonight.

Her fur-covered legs notwithstanding, Lucy took began to take a particular fascination in her toes. She had nice toes. It had been ever so long since she had actually seen them. She supposed that now her figure had returned, she could actually notice her body again. When she was pregnant she hadn't b…

No! Oh, No!

Lucy's gasped loudly as her heart clinched. This wasn't right! She shouldn't even be in a bathtub, much less enjoying a hot bath! She should be fat! Fat and pregnant…and her she was enjoying the fact that her tummy was flat again. She was horrible! A horrible excuse for a human being who didn't deserve to be a mother!

She had to failed protect Felicity. How could she ever expect she could protect Harry?

Here she was enjoying a hot bath when her baby was dea…

Lucy's face began to burn as she desperately tried to choke back her pent up tears. Over the past few weeks she had refused to speak of Felicity. Lucy hadn't even given herself permission to think about her baby. Her poor girl! Her poor girl died and Lucy had refused to even remember her!

Lucy drew up her knees, in spite of her aching hips. She was powerless to stop the stinging tears as they won the struggle for escape. Lucy felt he insides tighten. She lurched her upper torso over the far side of the tub and violently sicked up.

After empting her insides on the bathroom floor, Lucy slowly sank back into the now tepid water and curled herself into a foetal position. Memories flashed across her mind like a myriad of gothic nightmares and her soft feeble whimpers gave way to sharp desperate sobs.

She hugged herself protectively around her abdomen, but it no longer mattered. It was too late. Felicity was gone, her womb was empty and there was nothing for Lucy to protect.

Severus decided to make a fire call whilst Lucy bathed.

"Black, I appreciate your understanding on this."

"Not to worry, Snape," Black answered through the emerald flames. "She's been through a lot."

Severus still felt he had to explain himself to Harry's godfather. Severus hated the idea of going back on a promise. Even to Black. "She was already upset about Harry returning to the Weasley's this week and I never really discussed our arrangement with her. When we were tucking Harry in, I could see that it upset her. I'm simply not accustomed to involving someone else in my decisions when it comes to Harry."

Black waved off Severus' explanation "Nah…you're right. You're not a single parent anymore. She's Harry's mum now. She should have a say. Oh…Snape," Black said as if remembering something. "Abe and I are planning a surprise party for Remus next week. Do you think…Hey…what's that?"

Severus attention was immediately drawn to the sound drifting down the hall. He knew what it was. He hadn't realised she had reached that point yet.

Severus said urgently to Black "I have to go." He saw the flash of understanding cross Black's face before he abruptly cut the connection.

Severus rushed down the hall to the bathroom. His panic rose when he heard Lucy's high pitched keening. Severus had never heard such cries come from her. Not even that first night.

He threw open the door. The first thing that accosted his sense was the rancid smell of vomit. His first thought was that Lucy was sick, but there was no illnesses going around the school, and his instinct ruled sickness out. Severus knew exactly what was wrong with Lucy. He had become equally overwhelmed when Lily was killed.

For a moment, he could only stop and stare. The sight before him broke his heart too much for him to move.

Lucy was still in her bath. Her face was plastered against the side of the tub. She laid on her side, doubled over in the water. She was too far gone in her emotional nightmare to even realise Severus was there.

He rushed to her and knelt on the cold tiled floor. He put his palm gently on her forehead. "Lucy?" he asked tentatively. "Darling, I'm here."

Lucy didn't answer or seem to give any indication that she had heard him. Thus, he was startled when she suddenly flung her arms around his neck, splashing water across his chest soaking through his linen shirt. Severus was taken aback by her strength. She nearly pulled her into the tub along with her.

Severus didn't even bother to roll up his cuffs as he reached into the water and lifted Lucy out. She continued to cry uncontrollably as Severus settled himself on the bathroom floor and cradled her trembling naked body to him. He pressed his cheek to her wet hair and kissed her on the head.

"It's alright, Lucy…cry."

As heart wrenching as her tears were, Severus was somewhat relieved. Lucy had finally accepted Felicity's loss. Now she had some hope.

***21 March, 1987***

The past weeks had been difficult. Lucy would find herself crying at the most inopportune times, but the times had become less and less frequent as the days passed. Severus and Harry had been her foundation.

Gradually, she was beginning to accept that the blame for Felicity's death did not rest on her shoulders. It was Kenneth. In the end it was Kenneth.

Harry was still going to the Burrow during the week and Lucy found that easier to accept too. Harry came home to her and Severus every evening. Lucy had to admit, he did well under Molly's tutelage. Harry was excited to tell his parents everything he had learned and the games he had played. Their son would be more than ready for Hogwarts when it came his time to be sorted.

Lucy still had to undergo therapy, both physical and emotional, but she was healing. Chances were she would be healed before the end of term. With any luck, she would be able to resume her classes by mid-April. She would be there to see her students through their final exams.

Meanwhile, she decided to resume her research work in earnest. Her journals were in her office at Hogwarts and she needed to review them before tackling the original Slytherin manuscript once again.

Today was a Hogsmeade weekend and the first warm day of spring to boot. Quidditch wouldn't resume for two more weeks, thus the majority of older students were visiting the village today. Today, the Snape family would indulge in a picnic by the lake, but first Lucy would retrieve her journal. Harry and Severus were bringing their brooms along and she would enjoy the quiet time reading under the tree while father and son took to the air.

Severus had the brooms shrunken and tucked away in a pocket while the picnic basket floated along behind them. Lucy still depended on a cane and this was the farthest she had walked since the incident. Between her need to stop and rest and being stopped by excited students expressing their relief that she was getting better, it was a slow trip from dungeons to her classroom.

When they finally reached her classroom, Lucy became more apprehensive. Her apprehension had eased at the sight of a friendly face.

"Lucy child, how wonderful it is to see you again."

Professor Binns floated through the front desk and up the aisle to greet her.

Lucy greeted the spirit warmly. "It's wonderful to see you again too, Cuthbert."

"Ah…young Harry," Cuthbert said kindly. "Is that a picnic basket I see behind your father?"

"Uh huh," Harry said then remembered himself as he looked up at Severus' raised eyebrow. "Uhh…I mean, yes sir," he added quickly. "Daddy and I are going flying today."

Lucy had to smile as she saw the corner of Severus' mouth quirk up in what passed for a smile with her fiancé.

"It is a beautiful day for flying," Cuthbert said in agreement with the boy.

"Cuthbert, I need to get a journal from my office. Do you mind?"

"Lucy, it is your office and your classroom. You're free to come and go as you wish."

"Mummy, can I look at your globe?"

Severus answered Harry's question when he said, "Harry, you won't have time. We will only be a couple of minutes. Just stay here with Professor Binns. Mum and I will be right back."

Harry looked a little put out but he did as he was told, else he knew that Severus wouldn't take him flying later that afternoon.

"Lucy…Severus…I just wanted to say I'm sorry for…"

"No, Cuthbert…it's not your fault. You couldn't have known. None of us could," Lucy said to the contrite ghost.

Cuthbert Binns nodded his head, but still looked as though he believed he could have prevented the tragedy. Honestly, there was nothing he could have done. Once Lucy's door had closed, the ghost and former teacher would have been denied access to the office without being invited from within.

Lucy and Severus made their way through the classroom and to her office. Lucy was grateful to Severus. She could feel her anxiety rising in her chest as the door to her office loomed ominously before her. Severus had offered to retrieve her journal himself, but it was locked in her desk and it would only open to her magical signature.

Lucy leaned on Severus harder than she needed to by the time they approached her office door.

Severus leaned over and whispered softly into her ear, "Are you okay? We can do this another day if you aren't ready."

Lucy pushed away her rising fear and said determinedly, "I can do this."

Severus kept one arm around her waist as he reached out with his free hand and slowly opened the door.

Lucy hadn't realised that she had closed her eyes, but a simple change in the air told that her office was open.

She knew Severus was waiting for her to make the first move. Why was she so scared? It was only a room. It was filled with her things and there was nothing inside that could harm her. Lucy exhaled sharply and opened her eyes.

Her office looked exactly how she remembered it. Not a book or parchment out of place. Upon first glance, the only thing that seemed to be missing was the porcelain box Kenneth had given her. All things considered, she could care less that the box was gone. She wanted nothing of his. But she did have an uneasy feeling that there was significance to the missing box.

"Let's get this over with," Lucy finally said. She went directly to her desk as fast as her injured hip would allow and looked neither right nor left, but kept to the task at hand. She wanted to look away, but couldn't.

Her memory of the attack had opened up like the gates of Boulder Dam. Memories of her violent near-rape began to flood her vision. She could see herself pinned by Kenneth. Her skirts lifted and her body exposed…Kenneth molesting her with his filthy hands.

Once she rounded her desk, she quickly and purposely waved her hand in front of the correct drawer. She snatched her journal and slammed the drawer shut. Lucy moved surprisingly quickly for being lame. Severus stepped towards her and offered his hand so he could escort her out of her office. She never wanted to see the room again.

At that very thought, Lucy stopped abruptly. He was doing it to her. He was winning. From beyond the grave, Kenneth was still ruining her life.

Lucy's chest began to heave as her fear turned to anger. Kenneth's intention had been to keep her from her new family. If she continued on the path she was taking, he would succeed. He had already taken her daughter and her sense of security. Lucy refused to let him take the rest of her family. Kenneth would never take anything from her again. This time she would do the taking. She was taking her life back.

Lucy turned towards her precious Resolute replica. She had paid over $10,000 for that single piece of furniture. Once upon a time, it had been the symbol of her success, the start of a life of her own. Now when she looked at it, all she could see was her vulnerability and helplessness.

As she stood, frozen by the memory of the attack, she could clearly see Kenneth removing his trousers, getting ready to violate her. Lucy knew what would happen in the following moments. She wouldn't let it happen again.

"Lucy?"

She heard Severus call apprehensively to her, but she could not respond. Her hand shook as she felt it tighten around the handle of her wand. Several things happened at once as she swiftly drew her wand and shouted, "Reducto!"

At the same time she shouted her curse, and her desk exploded into millions of tiny splinters, Severus shouted, "Protego!" and pulled Lucy down, shielding her with his own body.

After the first initial violent explosion, the remains of her desk fell harmlessly around them like a strange snow.

Once it seemed all was safe, they cautiously stood up from their protective positions and surveyed the carnage. Together they stood stunned at what Lucy had done. When Severus whistled and exclaimed under his breath, "Shite," Lucy couldn't help but chuckle.

"Lucy? Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Severus, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I can honestly say yes."

Though Severus may not have known why she had destroyed the desk, he seemed to understand that it was something she needed to do.

"Wow! What happened in here?"

Lucy and Severus both turned to see Harry and Cuthbert standing in the office doorway.

"Lucy, Severus…are you two alright?" If it were possible for the blood to drain out of a ghost's face, it had done so with Cuthbert.

"Oh, we're fine," Severus said, his voice laced with a mix of nervousness and humour. "Lucy's desk exploded, that's all."

The ghost looked understandably confused while Harry exclaimed in awe, "Whoa…cool." Ah….yes…as if it were a common occurrence for desks to explode of their own volition every day and Harry's mum and dad were lucky enough to see happen for real.

"Why don't you go enjoy your picnic? I'll summon a house elf to clean up here," Cuthbert offered.

"That won't be necessary," Lucy said airily, and with another wave of her wand she vanished the remnants of the desk, and by extension, Kenneth himself. Much to Severus' credit, he did not duck this time when Lucy brandished her wand.

Lucy, Severus, and Harry said their good day's to Cuthbert and headed outside.

Once they reached the open castle doors, with Severus' and Lucy's permission Harry ran ahead. Lucy looked up to the sky and smiled when a warm breeze kissed her cool cheek. Severus linked his arm to her and gave her one of his rare open smiles. "It is good to see you happy again."

"I do feel happy, Severus." Lucy said wistfully. She knew that she would still have her bad days and that in the foreseeable future, the bad days would outnumber the good. But today was a good day. She had been assaulted by the memory of her attack, she fought back and won.

It was a good day.