)O(

Harry paced his room in the Gryffindor tower, his stomach clenched in knots. He had ruined everything! He should have known better. It was stupid to ask for things, it just led to disappointment and embarrassment for everyone. Professor McGonagall would make a fine guardian, he should have been grateful and just carried on fending for himself. He had never needed anyone before so why should now be different?

He forced himself to relax and sit on his bed with a book, once he heard his dorm mates noisily stomping up the stairs. Ron burst through the door with Dean, laughing at something Dean had said and Harry gave them a neutral smile. Neville followed a little sedately behind and gave Harry a sharp look.

'How'd it go with Professor Snape?' he asked quietly, sitting on the edge of Harry's bed and Harry shrugged, keeping his eyes on his book.

'Fine, he was just checking in with me.'

Neville sat quietly for a moment and then touched Harry's knee lightly.

'You know where I am Harry, if you need to talk.'

Harry nodded and kept his eyes on the page as Neville moved away, before swiftly rising from the bed and bolting for the common room. He didn't think he could face Ron just now.

Fortunately, the common room was quiet with a few people using the desks to finish the last of their homework and one third year couple sat cuddling on one of the window seats. Harry sank into one of the sofas near the fire and stared broodily into the flames.

He didn't know how he was supposed to feel just now. Even thinking about his aunt and uncle was painful. He was glad never to be going back there but it still hurt to think that they hadn't fought for him at all. He had just been discarded as if he was of no importance. His aunt hadn't even contacted him to let him know what had happened.

He felt hemmed in. Professor McGonagall wanted to talk to him and so did the headmaster but he really didn't want to talk to either of them. McGonagall had been so nice in the hospital wing but he hadn't really forgiven her for sending him away last year when he had tried to ask for help.

Now he could add Professor Snape to the list of teachers to avoid. Harry sighed. Avoidance, that the key word really. He was avoiding his friends, his teachers and anyone who wanted to help. Just like last term. Only this time it was a different kind of injury he was hiding.

Maybe that's was why tonight had been so difficult. He realised that he didn't want a guardian in name only. He didn't want to have to manage alone anymore. He wanted a real family; the kind the Dursleys' should have been all along. Someone who gave a damn; who would check his homework and nag him about grades.

Someone who would make sure he had clothes that fit and look after him when he was ill, the way Snape had done. Harry bit his lip at that thought. How pathetic was he? The first person who had shown him any care, he had latched onto like a stray dog.

Harry thought about the Weasleys' and the offer they had made. If he was being honest, part of his reservation was Ron's potential reaction. Ron already had five brothers to compete with, he really didn't need 'the-boy-who-lived' added to that mix. It also seemed that Ginny had finally got over her crush on him and although he was slightly jealous of Dean, he also knew that it would never have worked with her. Living with her at The Burrow over the summer would risk complicating things again.

The sofa shifted slightly and Harry glanced around to see Hermione settling down beside him.

'Are you OK?' she asked quietly and he opened his mouth to give his normal fine response, and instead found himself unable to answer. He shook his head and bit his lip, feeling tears sting the back of his eyes.

Hermione laid her hand on his, looking equally upset.

'Can I do anything?'

He shook his head again before answering shakily. 'The Dursleys' aren't my guardians any more. Professor McGonagall is until they find someone permanent.'

'I'm glad you never have to go back there.' She said softly, handing him a tissue and Harry gave a weak smile.

'Me too. It's still hard though, knowing that...' Harry's voice broke. 'Knowing that no one wants me.' Harry gave into the sobs, allowing Hermione to pull him into a hug.

He was aware that she was crying too but found himself unable to say a word, instead just sobbing until he felt his chest would burst with misery. At some point he became aware of other people around him but he was past caring now. He had cried in front of Snape, embarrassed himself and now lost it in the middle of the common room. None of it really seemed to matter any more.

It was Professor McGonagall's voice that finally pulled him out of the storm; her no nonsense tones emptying the common room.

'Go on now. Off to your dorms, this isn't a side show.'

He heard the sound of running feet on the stairwells and slowly pulled himself out of Hermione's arms, realising that it was Neville who had been rubbing his back and that Ron was sat cross legged on the floor in front of him, one hand resting on his leg.

Other than that, the common room was empty; Professor McGonagall's voice still echoing from the girls stairwell where she was shepherding some wayward first years to their room.

'Sorry 'Mione,' he whispered and she rubbed his arm gently.

'It's OK Harry; honestly. I wish I could do something.' Her eyes were red and she too had a balled up tissue in her hand.

'You have,' he said with a shaky smile. 'Thanks.'

Professor McGonagall came back into the room, her normally stern face softened in the fire light.

'Why don't you three run along to bed now. I will send Mr Potter up shortly.'

Neville and Ron sent him an apologetic look before lumbering off to the stairs.

'We'll wait up for you mate,' Ron called as he disappeared from view.

Hermione left much more reluctantly giving his hand a final squeeze and leaving a clean tissue on the table for him. He tried to give a reassuring smile as she left but it came out as more of a grimace.

McGonagall sat beside him on the sofa and gave him a sympathetic look that almost had him descending into tears again.

'I know that Severus was going to talk to you this evening. Did he explain what has happened?'

Harry swallowed and nodded. 'Yes, ma'am. You're going to be my guardian until something else is sorted out.' His voice sounded flat even to himself.

She squeezed his hand gently. 'I know this must be a very difficult time for you Harry but I want you to know you can come to me with anything.'

Harry watched the flames jumping in the grate and wondered if it was even possible to put into words how he was feeling. It all seemed so jumbled up.

'You seem to be rather distressed this evening. I know your friends are very worried about you. Is it just the situation with your family or has something else happened?'

Harry laughed coldly. 'I don't have a family Professor, I never really did. It's just me. Everyone who cared about me is dead and I have nothing left to aim for other than kill Voldemort because apparently I'm the only one that can.'

Beside him the Professor gave a little gasp and Harry snorted. Typical! She didn't even know that.

'I see the headmaster hasn't even told you about the prophecy. If you are going to be my guardian you should probably know what you are getting involved in. I suggest you ask him.'

She pursed her lips in the way she did when she was angry or upset and Harry never could tell which one it was.

'I don't know about this prophecy and I will talk to the headmaster about that tomorrow,' she said with an edge of annoyance in her voice. '...but I strongly dispute your statement that there is no-one who cares about you. That is far from the truth.'

Harry looked down and took a shaky breath, wiping away the tears that were still escaping from his now rather red eyes.

'I know ma'am. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself like this. It's just been a really hard day.'

Her expression softened and she touched his cheek gently.

'Harry, it will get better. I promise you that. Do you need something to help you sleep?'

'No, I don't think so. I'm pretty tired. I'm sorry if I disturbed your evening.'

'Oh Harry,' she gathered him into a quick hug. 'You didn't disturb anything. I had promised Severus I would come and check on you anyway. He was rather worried about you.'

Harry glanced up. 'He was?'

She smiled and nodded gently. 'I had a meeting with the headmaster this evening and Severus flooed in to tell us he had spoken with you. He was concerned that you might have been a bit upset when you left his quarters. Did it not go well?'

Harry sighed. 'No, it was fine. I just said something stupid at the end, that's all.'

The Professor squeezed his shoulders and stood, smoothing down her robes.

'Well I'm sure whatever it was that Professor Snape understands. You had better go and reassure your friends that you are all right and I will see you in the morning. Make sure you go to breakfast now, as your new guardian I have to take an interest in these things.'

Harry smiled faintly at the thought of McGonagall suddenly counting his bacon rashes in the morning and allowed her to help him up off the sofa.

'Yes ma'am.'

He padded over to the stairs and then remembering something from earlier quickly turned again to catch his head of house before she left the room.

'Professor!' She turned and looked at him over her spectacles.

'Thanks for what you did with the Dursleys'. I mean with all the cats.'

Her expression softened and a small smile graced her lips before she answered.

'I don't know what you are talking about Mr Potter. You must be mistaken.'

Harry smiled. 'Of course not Professor, my mistake.'

He turned and walked slowly up the stairs, feeling a little lighter for having a good cry. Two lots in fact, in one night.

'I'm turning into a girl,' he muttered to himself as he went to find his friends.

Harry was tucked in bed within minutes of entering his dorm room after accepting hugs from both Ron and Neville who both hovered until he was changed into his pyjamas and safely pinned by his bed covers. Even Dean was fussing, placing a glass of water and some tissues on his bedside table with a nervous smile.

Harry closed his eyes and quickly drifted away, completely exhausted.

Somehow, making that request of Snape had ripped him open and all of the hurt and anger from the previous summer washed over him in an overwhelming wave. Sleep seemed to be the only escape so he took it gratefully.

)O(

When Ron shook him awake the following morning, Harry found the exhaustion had settled over him like a heavy blanket. He could barely open his eyes.

'I'm not going to breakfast,' he muttered; turning over and burying his head back into the pillows.

He heard Ron and Neville whispering in undertones and then it was blissfully quiet again and he let the heaviness carry him away. He would get up in time for potions, he thought sleepily.

A hand resting on his forehead woke him a short time later and he blinked sleepily at his head of house as she sat on the side of his bed.

''Lo Professor, am I late for class.'

'It's all right Harry,' she said quietly. 'Are you feeling ill?'

He yawned heavily. 'No, just sleepy.'

She smoothed the hair away from his forehead gently and he heard her quiet sigh.

'You go back to sleep Harry, I will let your Professors know that you won't be in class today.'

Harry closed his eyes and let himself accept her gentle touch. It really did feel impossible to wake up, as though even thinking about going to class would break him somehow.

He slept through the visit from Madam Pomfrey and his room mates checking on him at lunchtime. He slept through Professor McGonagalls visit after class and only woke when Neville and Ron insisted he sit up and eat the sandwiches they had brought him. He stumbled to the bathroom afterwards and then immediately crawled back under the covers, ignoring the worried looks of his friends. He couldn't face any of them just now; it was all too much.

)O(

Severus glanced at the note that the Weasley boy handed him that morning with a frown. Minerva had excused Harry from all of his classes today. He felt his gut clench in anxiety and forced his face back into a neutral expression. Had he upset the child that much? Was his refusal the tipping point for the boy or was Harry ill?

The potions master was particularly fierce that day and the lost house points bore testimony to his impatience. He ignored the slightly guilty sensation in his stomach as the class left, their shoulders slumped. It was Albus he was really angry at. Why couldn't the man be more helpful? There was surely a way around this whole mess?

Poppy and Minerva's hushed conversation in the corner of the staff room didn't help his mood any and he was just about march over and demand an explanation when the headmaster lightly touched his elbow and guided him to the other side of the room.

He looked at the older man's grave expression and launched in, not waiting for the usual nonsense about tea and lemon drops.

'What's going on with Potter?' he asked harshly and the headmaster sighed, seating himself in one of the armchairs.

'Harry had what can only be described as a breakdown last evening in his common room. He is currently sleeping and Poppy has recommended we leave him be for a bit.'

Severus frowned heavily. 'If we allow the boy to slip into a depression, he may have a very long journey back. Are you sure this is the right course of action?'

'Poppy believes so. I have no intention of allowing Harry to wallow Severus, but he is clearly overwrought just now and an outburst of this sort is probably long overdue.'

There was a heavy pause before Severus answered, his voice cold and edged in steel. 'About fifteen years overdue.'

Albus flinched and looked away and Severus felt a slight tug of shame on his conscience. The headmaster deserved to feel pain for what he had done but not to have his nose rubbed in it.

'There must be a way,' he whispered sharply and Albus shook his head in defeat; his shoulders slumping.

'I cannot foresee any circumstance where the Ministry would approve it Severus; not even with my blessing. Especially after my last misstep with the child.'

Severus's eyes narrowed and he asked coldly. 'And of course this has nothing to do with the loss of information if you found yourself without a pet spy?!'

Albus shook his head sadly. 'Severus, I would release you from that role in a heartbeat if I thought we had the slightest chance of getting a guardianship approved. The ministry are already giving me problems and seeking to have Harry placed with a pureblood family of their choice. If I make a misstep now I could end up being forced to hand the child over to into an unsafe situation.'

'He asked me,' Severus hissed. 'For the first time in his life he has asked for something he wants. What does it say to him if we ignore that; if I ignore that?'

Both men became aware of Remus, who was hovering in the background, staring into his mug of tea with a thoughtful expression. Once again Severus was struck by how awfully thin the man looked. Severus bit back the urge to snarl at the man for eavesdropping. Lupin had arrived at the headmasters office the night before and had heard much of his and the headmasters row.

'Do you have something useful to add Wolf or are you just enjoying the show?' he whispered fiercely

Remus regarded the two men calmly for a moment and then returned to staring in his mug before answering.

'I was thinking this over last night,' he said quietly. 'And it occurred to me that there are more than one form of guardianship. Neither of us would be considered suitable parents for Harry; you because of your history and myself because of my condition.'

Severus huffed with impatience but was forestalled from making a scathing comment by the headmasters hand on his arm.

'Go on Remus,' he encouraged.

'Well, it occurred to me that despite these issues we are both entrusted with the safety of the children in this school because our expertise overrides what might otherwise exclude us from such positions of responsibility.'

'I don't understand what you are getting at?' Severus barked but with less venom than before. Surely the wolf wasn't trying to help him get guardianship of Harry? That was not a direction in which he would expect to find support.

'Harry is not old enough to be considered of age and legally an adult, but he is old enough to be able to leave school and start a career or training separate from a parental influence.'

The headmaster shook his head. 'That is true Remus but even in cases like that, he would still be apprenticed to someone and therefore would need a Master who would be willing...' Albus trailed off and gave Remus a bright smile. 'Well done Remus. I would not have thought of that.'

Severus stared at his two colleagues, his thoughts reeling. 'A potions apprenticeship? Would that work?'

'Why wouldn't it?' Remus said earnestly. 'I know that Harry is no potions genius but you said yourself that finding he can attune is a remarkable development. Surely that alone would justify taking him on?'

'Could the ministry object?' He asked the headmaster; hope slowly uncurling in his belly.

'They would find it hard to. They have been pressuring me for years to reinstate the apprenticeship programme and if they say you are an unsuitable Master then they have to go all the way and say you are an unsuitable Professor and as you are the foremost Potions Master in Europe right now, that would just look petty.'

Severus grimaced. 'Harry really doesn't like potions that much,' he admitted quietly and the headmaster chuckled.

'Then maybe we could dilute that a little?'

Albus looked pointedly at Remus who shuffled uncomfortably. 'I'm assuming there was a further element to your proposal,' he said softly and Remus nodded.

'I was thinking of a joint apprenticeship. Defence and Potions, meaning he would be bound to both of us with you having the senior role. The apprenticeship could be focused most heavily on Defence but with you holding the reigns because of my...condition.'

Severus turned and walked over towards the fire, finding himself pacing as he considered the ramifications. Behind him, he could hear Remus and the headmaster explaining the proposal to Poppy and Minerva.

An hand on his arm brought him back to the present and he found himself eye to eye with an excited Minerva.

'Severus, it's perfect!' she exclaimed. 'No one could object to Harry learning more Defence and this way he gets to stay close to you and Remus. The ministry would look like complete idiots if they objected to the-boy-who-lived learning how to fight the darks arts. Do you think Harry would accept you having authority over him like this?' she asked quietly.

Dark eyes met hers and he answered so softly that no-one else could hear.

'He asked me last night if I could be his guardian and I said I didn't think it was possible.'

Minerva closed her eyes for a second and squeezed his arm tightly.

'That's what made him so upset. I wondered what had happened. He had been handling things so well.'

Severus turned back to his other colleagues, noting that Poppy was smiling at him with suspiciously bright eyes. He scowled darkly which made the headmaster chuckle.

'You would release me from my...other duties?' he asked his employer seriously and Albus nodded.

'Of course Severus although I am concerned about the consequences for you?'

Severus didn't miss the quick glance that Albus had made at his left arm and he knew that a longer conversation would have to be had about what would happen once Voldemort realised he had lost his potions master to the light.

'We would have to get Potters agreement to this of course,' Severus said, switching swiftly back into professional mode. The binding is usually for a minimum of three years so would last until he was nineteen. He may not like the thought of being tied to Lupin and I for that long.'

Severus glanced at the wolf. He was surprised that the man was supporting this at all and not attempting to keep Potter's son all for himself. To enter into a binding alliance like this, not just with Harry but also with him was a surprising move.

As if sensing his thoughts, the shabby professor quietly spoke into the silent room.

'As you said Severus, Harry has asked for this. He feels safe with you and I would do anything to keep him feeling that way. I don't ever want to miss a cry for help from him again.'

Severus regarded the man thoughtfully and then gave him a sharp nod.

'Shall we go speak to Harry then?'

They left the room together leaving three smiling and tearful colleagues behind.

)O(