If I could I would by Whitsnitch91
Summary: Harry is deeply traumatized by the war and Voldemort and Deatheaters, hunting him and killing his dear-friends. Deciding to go back in time he searches for the Necklace of time and then confides in the only man that seems trustworthy to him. Severus Snape. How will the young Potions Professor deal with the new information he receives?
Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape, Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Draco
Snape Flavour: None
Genres: General, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe, Deaging, Time Travel
Takes Place: 8 - Post Hogwarts (young adult Harry), 9 - Post Epilogue (middle aged Harry), 0 - Pre Hogwarts (before Harry is 11)
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Physical Punishment Spanking
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 12160 Read: 27841 Published: 08 Sep 2010 Updated: 12 Dec 2010
Worth the trouble by Whitsnitch91
Author's Notes:
Sorry for the long wait, had some trouble writing Snape scenes, an extra long chapter just for you!

"Oi, Harry?" the now pink-haired girl called as she exited her shop. Harry turned and beamed at her. She was no older than twenty or so.

"Ready for lunch. Hey, where is Hagrid?" Tonks asked confused, looking around wildly.

"Oh yeah, he had to rush back to Hogwarts. The Headmaster wanted to see him. Hagrid is totally nervous and all and wants me to ask you to drop me off at home. But honestly, I can do that by myself," Harry said. He followed the girl towards the grizzly grinch, a restaurant he had never eaten in.

"Yeah, they are always way to careful those adults," Tonks agreed and Harry opened the door for her, feeling stupid as he was barely tall enough to reach her shoulders.

"Yeah, my relatives aren't at all. I am in London once a week. They trust me somewhat," he said, trying to prepare her.

"Wow, that's great. You could come by more often and we could eat together." She smiled and they sat down in a corner chair.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. And my relatives will go on vacation in a week anyhow. They said that I could either stay at home for the meantime or sleep at a friends. I will ask if they would mind to pay for the leaky cauldron. I am so much closer to the wizards that way," he said excitedly.

"Wow, they trust you bunch then, huh? My parents would have never left me home alone. But I am clumsy and I would have most probably set the house on fire your age." She laughed and Harry joined in.

"Yeah, the thing is, they don't care much. You know. So they wouldn't mind," he said a little quieter now.

"They don't care about you? The Harry Potter?" she whispered, outraged.

"Well, you know. They are Muggles and they know nothing of the wizarding world so they are not as drawn to all of it. For them I am simply the nephew they had to take in," he said and smiled a little. He was not really mad about it anymore, or sad or anything, it was all too long ago, but they did not know that, he had to be more careful. "So if I ask them to have me stay here, they will happily oblige," Harry ended and Tonks smiled at him.

"Wait, I haven't even introduced myself, have I?" she asked all of a sudden, "Well, I am Nymphadora Tonks, don't laugh, my mother thought it funny to name that way. I hate it. So I am simply Tonks." she said and held out her hand.

Harry took it and smiled. "Well, you know who I am. I am Harry," he said and Tonks burst out laughing.

"So what do you want? I'll pay so don't worry about the costs," she said and Harry ordered German Schnitzel. He could have taken something more magic, but sometimes Muggle tasted as good as magic.

"Good, I'll take the same," Tonks said to the waitress who served them Butterbeer.

"So do you know any spells?" she asked as she held the bottle in both hands, making sure not to knock it over.

"No, I didn't even know that I was a wizard until Hagrid told me this night," Harry said and bit his lip. Actually he had known for more than eight years now, but they didn't know that, he had to be careful.

"Wow," Tonks said, not knowing what to say. "That's pretty, ohm, surprising, I would say. I mean, you are like the hero here. Every child knows you, god, my mother told me bed-time stories of you." She laughed easing the situation a little.

"Tonks, how old are you?" Harry asked all of a sudden. Bed-time stories?

"Ha-ha, I am twenty," she said and Harry smiled.

"Wow, I didn't think you were that young," he teased a little and Tonks lifted her hands in played offense.

"Mr. Harry Potter," she chided loudly wagging her finger in his face, but before she could continue everybody in the restaurant had turned around to stare at them.

Little 'oohs' and 'ahhs' and 'The Harry Potter' where heard everywhere and Harry ducked his head in embarrassment.

"Never seen a boy and a girl eating lunch before? Mind you own," Tonks snapped a minute later and everybody turned away after a while, though a young man still stared at them and Harry almost choked on his butterbeer as he recognized the face.

"Mr. Potter," came the smooth and silky greeting and Severus got up lightly.

"Harry, this will be your Potions Professor at Hogwarts, I am pleased to introduce Severus Snape," Tonks said and shook the mans hand. Snape was young Harry noticed all of a sudden.

"Good afternoon Professor Snape," he greeted and stood up to shake the man's hand, trying hard to make a good, well at least for the man, first impression.

"Where, if I may ask, is Hagrid? I was under the impression that he was to be your guide today?"

"He had to leave for Hogwarts. We asked Tonks if she would bring me home and she agreed," Harry said smoothly and looked at Tonks to avoid eye-contact, trying to hide his thoughts. His occlumency was good, but he doubted it was good enough with straight eye-contact to Snape, and he really did not want to show just yet that he knew some occlumency.

"Interesting. Well I am sure, Miss Tonks, that Harry will get there safely," Snape said, an obvious warning in his voice, before turning around and walking back to his own table. He sat alone Harry noticed sadly.

"Professor, why don't you join us?" Harry asked all of a sudden. Snape turned around features frozen.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter, but I politely deny. I see that you and Nymphadora are more than happy even without my company," he said and Tonks bristled at him using her first name.

"Tonks, if you please, Severus," Tonks shot back smiling mischievously. Severus turned around without another word but Harry was baffled. Snape had been somewhat nice, still cold, but not crazy mean.

"So, I am bringing you home?" Tonks whispered.

"I really don't want to go back there. I will simply take a room at the leaky cauldron and that should be fine. You just have to play along. If you want you can say that I ran off, or that you delivered me but then don't know what I have done," Harry almost begged.

"You know what. I will apparate you home, and I will apparate back a second later. From there you will have to see what you do. I just can't lie. You know, I am studying to become an Auror. And I really do not want to be kicked out of the program," Tonks said somewhat taken aback by his sudden breakout.

"Yeah, that's good enough," Harry said and smiled at her.

"And you know the best thing?" Tonks asked after a while.

"No, what?" Harry asked thinking furiously of how he could get away from little Whinging the fastest.

"You can use magic while you are here. There are just too many wizards here, and I could teach you a couple of good spells, you know. Stuff to use to tease some snobby other first-years," she whispered and Harry smiled. He doubted that the girl could teach him anything, but he had to play along.

He saw how Snape got up and walked towards the rest-rooms out of the corner of his eyes and quickly said how he would love that before excusing himself. Hurrying after the man, he waited a minute before walking in. Snape was standing by the sink, leaning against the tiled wall, arms crossed over his chest, usual snerr firmly planted on his face. Harry swallowed. Had the man been waiting for him?

"Professor?" he asked carefully and Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Can I ask you something that needs to stay between ourselves?" he asked and Snape sneered at him.

"Well, I need to talk to you in private, sir. It is really important," Harry said carefully and Snape raised his eyebrow even further.

"Please?" Harry felt bad. Why in the world had he done that?

"Yes, I trust that you will be at the leaky cauldron tonight?" Snape asked and Harry smiled. The man had not changed at all.

"Yes, sir," he said and with that Snape nodded curtly and walked past him leaving him standing there by himself. He took a deep breath, this had been easier and harder at the same time, then imagined. It had been easy because Snape had given him  the chance to bring forward his appeal and because the man had not brushed it off as chilidish nonsense. But harder in the sense that Snape seemed different, not much but a bit. And it was just hard seeing the man alive again. Young, alive and just different.

"Sorry about that," Harry said a minute later and sat down opposite of Tonks who now had purple hair. "How do you do that, changing your hair I mean?" Harry asked remembering that he should not know yet.

"Oh, I am a Metamorphogus, its a nice treat. I can change my appearance to whatever extent I wish to," she said and smiled wildly changing her hair a flashing red.

"Wow, can I learn that too?"

"Nah, it has to run in the blood you know?" she said and Harry nodded. He had already known that. Their lunch was delicious and Harry savored every little bite.

"Okay, I will apparate you back now okay?" Harry nodded and they left the restaurant together.

"Wait, I think I should get my clothes out of your shop first, right?" Harry asked and Tonks smacked her forehead.

"Yes, I have them; here," she said and pulled little bags out of her pocket. Harry smiled and stuffed them in his pocket thankfully.

"Yes, thank you. Do you want to meet for lunch tomorrow at the same time?" he asked and Tonks nodded her head yes.

"Great, I will pick you up at two then. And next time, I will pay," he said and with that grabbed the girl's hand. Tonks laughed and apparated away with him by her side.

"Thank you, Harry. It was a pleasure meeting you. See you tomorrow?!"

Harry nodded but before he could say something she was gone. Harry laughed and turned towards the house. His relatives were back already.

He walked towards the door and knocked. The door was pulled open forcefully and before he could do something he was pulled in by his hair. Vernon screamed something into his face shaking him violently. Harry yelled up in pain and fear. He had forgotten that they were angry.

"How dare you you freak!" Vernon screamed and Harry screamed up as the man smacked him into the wall head-first. Vernon held him there with a hand in his neck pressing him forward violently.

"Let go of me-" Harry yelled but screamed as Vernon's belt hit him across the back of his legs. Bucking wildly, Harry tried to squirm away, but the belt got him again, the buckle scraping skin of his hip.

"You filthy good for nothing, just like your rotten father!!" Vernon yelled striking the eleven year old defenseless boy again.

"Let go of me, you fat ass!!" Harry screamed, crying of pain. Why had he come here?

Vernon striked his backside again and again, and Harry soon stopped fighting, hanging from the wall limply. He knew he was bleeding, he felt it trickling down his legs.

"You freak," Vernon ended slamming his head into the wall. Harry fell backwards, right eyebrow swelling fast.

"You asshole," Harry pressed out trying to fight himself to his feet. He forgot he was eleven and small, he fought back, fists up he stormed towards the fully grown man, double his size and five times his weight. Vernon grabbed him by the hair and backhanded him across the face violently. Harry's face snapped to the right. He stopped fighting immediately as he swayed on his feet fighting to stay conscious.

"You do not fight me!" Vernon screamed, spraying his salvia everywhere, and then he pushed him, hard. Harry flew against the door, banging his head again.

"Urgh." He lay there crumbled looking at the fat beast. Vernon kicked his foot at him before turning away and hurrying into the kitchen.

Harry cried out in pain and fought himself to his feet swaying as he walked out the door. He only had to make it to the door and then to Mrs. Figgs. She would clean him up and then he could use- He stopped himself. No, he couldn't. He couldn't.

He turned around and walked the other direction, blood trickling down his back and down his face. His eyebrow had ripped open and the cut was deep. He stumbled forwards and fell to his knees and barely hushed a scream. He was physically too weak for this. Barely able to keep his eyes open he lifted his wand, and with a bang the knightbus appeared.

"Hey, are you okay?" a man asked, jumping out of the bus. He lifted the boy up and sat him down on the step. Harry shuddered from the pain. His uncle had beaten him bloody with the belt.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Harry said weakly and opened his eyes. His right eye was almost swollen shut. The man looked at him and his eyes were full of pity. Harry took in a sharp breath. It was Healer Smallwith. The healer who had fixed him up after he had been almost killed by a crazy gang of young Deatheater's after the war.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked quietly. Harry shuddered again.

"Leaky Cauldron. Not the hospital. I'm fine," Harry said as he saw the young man lift his eyes in disbelief.

"Well okay. Seven sickels then," he said and lifted Harry up into a seat. "I am studying to become a healer. Do you want me to fix you up a little? I can not do much yet, but I can at least heal the cut," he said and lifted his wand.

"Nah, I'm good," Harry said. He knew that the blood probably covered up his scar or the man would have taken him to the hospital at once.

"Whatever you say." The young man sighed and took the sickels but handed the boy a glass of water.

The ride was bumpy, and Harry had soon bloodied his sweater and the seat behind him. Getting up at his destination, Healer Smallwith stared at him but cleaned the seat as Harry simply shrugged. Limping of the steps he headed straight for the door. Right before the door he concentrated hard and charmed a glamour on himself, hiding his bruises and cuts. Then he cast a scourgefy and brought up all his self control to not limp.

"Tom, I need a room," he said and Tom looked up from the desk. Frowning he came forward and handed him a key.

"Very well. It's twenty sickels a night, thirty if you want to eat breakfast here," he said. Harry took his keys nodded in thanks, and then went for the indicated door. Tom frowned behind him.

"Are you okay, Mr. Potter?" he dared to ask just before the boy had reached his door.

Harry turned around eyes tearing. "Yes, I am fine. My relatives wanted me to stay here until school began. They don't like wizards all to much," he said and then opened the door to his room and stumbled in.

After closing the door behind himself he took a shaky breath, the glamours vanished and he fell to his knees. Crying out, he lifted his hands to his face, brushing his fingers over his swollen eye. Blood stuck to his fingers, and when he reached back to feel his welts and torn skin he almost screamed out in pain. He needed to clean himself up if Snape would see him later. He could write Snape as well, telling him that tonight wouldn't work. Harry paled. Hagrid had not bought him Hedwig! He had no owl. He needed to buy her now, before someone else did! He stood up and cast a quick healing charm on his eye. Then he cast another one on his back. Then he scourgefied his face again. Shaking he left his room, locking the door behind himself.

"Out this late?" Tom asked looking at the clock on the far wall. It was seven p.m..

"Yes, sir. A brisk walk. I will be back in a couple of minutes," Harry said quickly. Was Tom concerned? He did not need someone to take care of him.

Harry left the shop and hurried to the owlery. He did not notice Snape who saw him exiting the leaky cauldron.

Following the limping boy, he walked after him, keeping in the shadows. Why was the boy limping? Had he been in a fight? He had been fine this afternoon.

Harry drew in a shaky breath. The Healing charm would not work long, he was to weak, the pain was drawing on his magical strength. He walked into the owlery and saw his Hedwig at once. His girl, his best friend.

"I would like that one, sir," he told the man who stood behind the counter.

"That one is already on hold," the clerk said indicating to the beautiful Snowy owl.

"I will pay more," Harry said. The clerk hesitated. Harry looked at the price. Twelve galleons.

"It's on hold," the clerk repeated.

"Twenty Galleons," Harry said, knowing the man would go up in the price.

"Thirty."

Harry turned around. "Twenty-two," he said, taking out the galleons.

"Twenty-seven," he said.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Twenty-five," he said clearly. He would not go up further, he thought for himself, but he knew he would pay all his money for his owl. Every last Knut.

"Okay, have her," he said and took the cage down. Hedwig cooed happily.

"Hedwig," Harry said softly. He bought feed and treats for her, and then left the shop, almost in tears. He would break down any second if he did not hurry up. He walked past the apothecary and stopped dead. He could buy some healing balm.

Snape frowned. Why in hell had the boy bought the owl for twice the price, there were prettier owls in there. And why in hell was he limping? He ducked into a shadow as the boy stopped in front of the apothecary.

Harry entered and put the cage down by the door.

"Sir, I would like some healing balm and pain reducer please," he said.

The man lifted his eyes and looked at him. "I am not allowed to sell potions and balms to children," he said and turned back to his magazine.

Harry frowned. "Sir, I am able to pay for them," he said. He had never heard that they weren't on sale for children.

"Yes, but that does not change the law. Come back with an adult and I will gladly sell them to you," he said and Harry frowned.

"Well, thanks anyway," he said and hurried out, limping almost too much to walk.

He hurried back to the leaky cauldron, Hedwig tooting in her cage. Harry lifted her to his face.

"Don't worry Hedwig, I am fine. I'll let you out in a bit, okay?" he said and then reentered the leaky cauldron, going straight for his room.

"Wow, it wasn't like this before, was it? Was it because I fought back? Or because I was walking around now?" Harry mumbled to himself as he walked through the door, locking eyes with his first ever best friend.

"Who cares, you are totally worth it!"

To be continued...
End Notes:
Okay... really long chapter!!!
Just for you guys.. as I said, I had a really really hard time with Severus, but it should be a little easier from now on...
Please let me know what you think...


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