Chapter One - A Wonderful Summer

"Sod off Potter!" the fat boy spat down at his cousin, who was lying in the dirt holding his side where he had kicked him hard with his cleats.

Harry groaned and rolled over, still clutching his side. "Prick," he said to his cousin's retreating back. Dudley didn't even glance back at him.

It took Harry a minute to feel up to getting up off the cold dusty earth, but he eventually managed, his side protesting as he rose to his feet. His new jeans were ruined... he would have to remember not to buy new clothes right before returning to Privet Drive in the summer. Through the new hole in his pants he examined his bloody knee, which had been the first casualty as his cousin had sprung on him from behind a bush. As he tried to dust off his pants and shirt he noticed a hole in his shirt too where his cousin had ripped it. "Sodding prat," Harry breathed, unaware of somebody watching him quietly from behind.

"Is that any way to portray a hero to the press Potter?" Harry spun around to find Draco Malfoy with a camera. "Imagine that Potter," he sneered. "Me going on vacation only to see famous wizard boy who lived getting beaten up by his own Muggle cousin." He snapped a picture of Harry in his torn, dirty clothes, with a fresh bruise blossoming above his eye. He wished desperately not for the first time that week that his aunt and uncle had just left him at home by himself instead of dragging him on vacation with them... as it was he had to sleep in the car instead of in the hotel, and Dudley was intent on using Harry like a punching bag again now that they had ample time alone.

"Go ahead, take your pictures then Malfoy," he said, moving his arms in a mock way so that he looked like a body builder showing off his muscles... only Harry had none to show off.

Draco's lip curled and he lowered the camera. "You're pathetic Potter." With this he moved off shaking his head. Harry smiled, not giving Draco the satisfaction of getting upset. If the picture ended up all over school than Harry would claim he had run into a burning building to save a child or something.

The rest of the week passed with Harry trying to hide from Dudley and read the one textbook he was allowed to bring on the trip. And then finally they were back at 4 Privet Drive where Harry had his own room and did not have to sleep in the car in the parking garage of the hotel. Hedwig returned from Ron's shortly after he got into his room and he collapsed on the old mattress. Springs stuck up in all the familiar locations, but he didn't care so long as it wasn't the car.

"POTTER!" No, but that couldn't be uncle Vernon bellowing at him could it? "POTTER! GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!" But it was, and Harry heaved himself off the bed and out into the hallway. What had he done now?

Harry found Uncle Vernon in the living room trying to fix the TV... for some reason it had gone staticky. After a few moments Uncle Vernon turned on him. "What the devil do you think you're doing lounging around the house boy? There's work to be done!" Harry sighed as he saw the stack of suitcases piled in the entryway where Uncle Vernon was pointing. "When you're done hauling those upstairs you can go pull weeds in the back garden and then fix dinner you lazy arse!"

Momentarily Harry thought about disobeying his uncle as he scratched the back of his neck. He was tired of being the one doing all the chores all summer long... even on vacation he'd been made to do the family's laundry and run around bringing them all takeout to eat while the others went and saw all the sites.

Apparently Harry had been deep in thought and had waited too long because now his uncle was right in front of him shoving him hard into the hallway where he tripped backwards over a suitcase and banged his head rather hard at the foot of the stairs.

"You good for nothing-" Harry knew he was in trouble now as his uncle's fists clenched and a vein throbbed ominously in his temple, but just then the bell rang announcing somebody was at the front door. Uncle Vernon and Harry both stopped and looked to the front door. The bell rang again as if the person on the other side was impatient, and Uncle Vernon turned back to Harry with a menacing glare. "Stay put boy, we're not done here yet."

Taking the command literally, Harry didn't move an inch as Uncle Vernon went to the front door and opened it to reveal somebody Harry couldn't quite see because his uncle's frame was so big. Next second though and a silky voice made Harry's insides squirm. "I need to speak with Harry Potter."

Uncle Vernon rounded to glare at Harry for bringing another ‘unnatural freak' to the door, and Harry just lay there dumbly on top of the suitcases staring back and forth between Professor Snape and Uncle Vernon, both who seemed to be quite angry.

"Alone," the professor said in that deadly tone that usually made students at Hogwarts go clammy. Vernon narrowed his eyes at Harry menacingly before moving off back to the broken TV muttering something about Harry getting what he deserved later on.

When they were finally alone, Snape took in the scene before him with Harry lying sprawled over several suitcases on the floor, head against the bottom step of the stairs. It certainly looked uncomfortable, he thought, and surely Harry wasn't there of his own accord.

"Get up Potter," Snape said, as if he had tasted something unsavory as he had spoken. Harry scrambled to his feet, his head pounding as he did so.

"What is the meaning of this?" Snape was holding out a copy of the daily prophet, which Harry hadn't seen him take out from an inside pocket in his robes. Harry reached out for the paper and on the front page saw the picture of himself with torn clothes and a bloody knee, and a brilliant bruise on his left temple.

"I can't believe Draco sent this to the paper!" Harry half shouted angrily. Now everybody would know for sure that he had been beaten up by a Muggle, and his social life was sure to be nil once he returned to school.

"Well?" Snape was waiting for something, and it took Harry a moment to realize he hadn't answered the question.

"What? This?" he said pointing to the picture. "Dudley beat me up in the park across from the hotel. Draco came up behind me with a camera just after it happened. I can't believe he put this in the paper!"

Harry had not noticed the headline just below the picture and as he was staring at his Professor, Snape said, "And how do you explain this?" He pointed to the article below, and to another picture, this time of a young girl he recognized but couldn't remember the name of.

Eyes widened as Harry read the inch tall headline, "HARRY POTTER GOT ME PREGNANT!"
"What!?" Harry choked as he read the words. "That's crazy! I don't even know her! She's not even in my year or house!" Snape gave him a dubious look and Harry scanned down the article to see what else it said. Apparently it claimed that Harry had been beaten up by the girl's father after he had found out that Harry had gotten his, "little Susan" pregnant.

"That's ridiculous," Harry said. "I've never even had..." he paused at a raised brow from Snape. He wasn't sure he wanted to admit that he was a virgin at sixteen years old, but clearly he was going to have to in order to get himself out of this mess.

Snape held his hand back out for the paper. "The Headmaster seems to think you need keeping an eye on Potter. I have been ordered to retrieve you and bring you back to the castle for the summer."

Harry's eyes widened. "Really? I get to go back?" There was too much hope in Harry's voice for Professor Snape's liking, but he nodded anyway.

"Be right back," he said gleefully, knowing he would avoid a solid thrashing from Uncle Vernon. He ran up the stairs to his room, threw what remained of his things into his trunk, and locked the lid tight. He let Hedwig loose out the window and told her to find him at school, and was back out into the hallway dragging his trunk in three minutes.

"So it's you is it?" Aunt Petunia was sneering at Snape from the kitchen at the bottom of the landing.

Snape glanced sideways at her and then pointed to the spot in front of him. "Get down here Potter, I don't have all day." Being downright obedient Harry hurried to the bottom of the stairs with his things. Snape waved his wand at the trunk and it shrunk to fit in the palm of Harry's hand. Harry picked it up and followed Snape out the door.

"Bye Uncle Vernon!" Harry made a show of waving to his uncle gleefully as he walked out the door, and his Uncle glared at him as he slammed the door closed.

"You are far too happy considering the amount of trouble you are in Potter," Snape growled as he led the way down the sidewalk.

Harry shrugged. "I didn't do it," he said innocently.

"So you say..." the Professor trailed off.

"So I know," Harry told him solidly.

"And she would just claim that it is your child why?"

Harry thought on it for a moment. He had no clue why. "Money?" he tried to a look of consternation from the Potion's Master. "Maybe she just didn't want to get into trouble... I bet that's it."

"How that makes sense is beyond me Potter."

"Isn't there some spell that can tell if the baby is mine?"

"No."

"Well is there a spell to tell if I'm a virgin?"

Snape smirked and it irked Harry. "The famous boy who lived? No one will believe it."

"At the risk of ruining my social life forever, there has to be a spell since no one will take my word for it."

"Hm," Snape thought on it. He did not know of a spell, but Harry seemed truthful seeing as how he was risking the all-important teenage social status that he had gained as the school's resident hero.

"See, you do believe me," Harry said triumphantly. Severus lead them up a small driveway and Harry realized he was being taken to Mrs. Fig's house.

"I did not say that Potter. You would do well to be quiet seeing the amount of trouble you have somehow gotten yourself into. It is possible that there are reporters hiding nearby or following us."

"Is she connected to the floo?" Harry asked as Snape knocked on the door.

"Temporarily, now be, quiet." Harry closed his mouth at the command. Somehow he was going to salvage the rest of his summer, he thought to himself, even if he had to wade through reporters, at least he would be at Hogwarts where he was safe from beatings and where he would be fed and could sleep in a proper bed.