"Severus, have you gone round the twist?" When she received a particularly fiery glare, Minerva coughed and said in a much less incredulous tone, "Food is one the exceptions to Gamp's laws of transfiguration." She got another look from the man striding beside her." "I know it certainly wasn't your best subject, but-"

 

She broke off as Severus flung open the door to his quarters and steered her into the sitting room, which was currently playing host to an enormous evergreen tree. "Just watch." He growled. "It'll be starting any second."

 

Minerva blinked. "Starting? Starting what? I don't..." She trailed off as a branch on the evergreen started glowing suddenly. The light pulsed before coalescing into a sphere at the tip. Then it shrank slightly before expanding quickly outwards, changing shape as it went. In another few seconds the glow faded entirely, revealing a large plate of pumpkin pasties, which were steaming slightly.

 

As if this was some sort of trigger, numerous other branches started glowing. The light followed the same process as the first branch, though none of them produced any kind of food.

 

Deciding that if the look on her face was any indication, Minerva wouldn't be saying anything soon, Severus said, "So this Gamp person..."

 

He received a sharp slap on his arm. Minerva, having felt she had dealt appropriate punishment said, "It does this everyday?"

 

Rubbing his arm surreptitiously, Severus said, "So far yes. It tends to make quite a variety of items too." He narrowed his eyes at it, suddenly realizing it was listing to one side. "Now what's making it bend like that?" He stepped behind it and out of sight. Minerva blinked as he searched through it, making the branches rustle. Then she heard him snort. "Ah. Well I was in need of a new one."

 

Minerva blinked. "A new what?" There was another rustle as Severus fiddled with the branches. Then there was a rather loud thump, and the evergreen straightened up.

 

Minerva's jaw dropped as Severus pushed an enormous potion cabinet out from behind the tree. Patting it he said, "Some fool in my seventh year class yesterday didn't bottle their potion correctly and managed to set off an explosion. The wards held, but the cabinet was ruined." He paused and peered around the cabinet. "Ah. Good Morning."

 

A yawn was his first response. Then there was nearly a minute of silence as his son took in the sight before him. Finally though Harry said, "I thought I heard something crash."

 

Severus tapped the cabinet. "Yes...it's a wonder it didn't break the branch. It was on one of the thin ones near the top."

 

Harry shrugged. "So was my bookcase, and it's even bigger than that." He paused and sniffed the air. "It made Pumpkin Pasties?" He frowned. "I thought it didn't do sweets."

 

Minerva suddenly broke in. "What do you mean it doesn't do sweets? You mean it makes food on a regular basis?" She had a strange excited gleam in her eye that had Harry flinching backwards slightly.

 

 "Er good morning Professor. Well not everyday...but we got a roast turkey from it our second day back. And we got a whole breakfast when term started."

 

He jumped when Minerva's wand suddenly appeared in her hand. Faster than he could blink, she was running it up and down the tree. She muttered to herself the whole while. They could catch occasional snatches every once in a while. "Fascinating! Simply Fascinating!" Seemed to reoccur quite often.

 

Harry glanced at Severus. "Is she okay?"

 

He almost laughed. The only thing that prevented him from doing so was the thought that his son probably couldn't handle that many shocks so early in the morning. He looked rather off balance as it was. He settled for a slight smile. "It is rather a switch isn't it? She's fine. The old tabby has just found herself some catnip, that's all." He flinched, more from surprise than pain, when a sharp stinging hex caught him on the cheek.

 

Minerva huffed. "Now really Severus! I'm not that bad am I?" Then she caught sight of Harry's expression. "Oh...Well, I suppose I am." Her lips quirked. "Don't worry Mister Snape, I'm fine. Just caught in the moment." She gestured at the tree. "This...plant seems to openly defy the laws of magic!"

 

Harry started giggling. "That's what dad said too. Right after he got a cauldron's worth of headache reliever." Minerva started laughing.

 

Severus rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. Very funny. And it was pure coincidence that it came on the first day of classes." Minerva just laughed harder.

 

Harry stopped giggling long enough to say, "But you still took some right before classes."

 

Severus sniffed. "Preemptive strike." He glanced at the Transfiguration professor. "Minerva, would you care to join us for breakfast?"

 

She nodded. "I think I shall Severus. Afterwards I'd like to take the time to thoroughly examine that tree of yours."

 

Harry became serious at once. "You're not still trying to get rid of it are you?"

 

Severus snorted as he set the table. "I've given up on that notion son. Even the combined might of Hogwarts houselves working in concert couldn't remove it. I'm quite convinced it's here to stay."

 

Harry blinked. "You said that like it's some kind of miracle."

 

Minerva coughed. "In a way it is. House elf magic is surprisingly powerful. It's no small thing that the all of the elves in the castle could do nothing to remove that tree. As for what it does now..." She shrugged. "I've never seen anything like it"

 

Severus cleared his throat. "Never mind that now. Breakfast is ready." Indeed, the modest kitchen table was laden with steaming food. Severus calmly set out milk and pumpkin juice before sitting down. The three of them ate in silence for a moment. Eventually however, Severus spoke. "Harry." His son's eyes flicked up to look at him. "What's this I heard about an argument with Draco?"

 

Harry blinked and swallowed his mouthful of food. "What argument? I haven't even spoken to him unless I have to."

 

Severus frowned. His son looked genuinely confused.

 

Minerva however, apparently realized what he was referring to. "I believe he means the incident on the Quidditch pitch that resulted in Mister Weasley's unfortunate encounter with the slugs."

 

Harry's expression cleared at once. "Oh. That." He looked slightly apprehensive. "Well...Malfoy called Hermione something, and Ron tried to hex him for it. That's when his wand backfired."

 

Severus's brow straightened. "Ah. So that wasn't a curse from Draco."

 

Harry shook his head. "No. Though I wish it had hit him. It would've served him right."

 

Severus eyebrow quirked. "Really? Rather a vicious spell that. What did he say that warrants that kind of a curse?"

 

Harry scowled. "He called her a mudblood!"

 

Minerva's mouth went flat. "Such nasty language from a child!"

 

Severus frowned and sighed. "That's his father showing in him. Narcissa never tolerated language like that in front of her."

 

Minerva tapped her chin thoughtfully. "No I don't doubt that. She always was the more...soft spoken of the two."

 

Severus smirked. "Yes, well...you weren't there when she was giving birth to Draco." His breakfast partners blinked at him. "She had a few choice words for Lucius then, I can tell you."

 

A grin started growing on Harry's face as Minerva burst into giggles. "Was she that bad, dad?"

 

Severus's smirk widened. "Lucius was rather afraid of her for quite some time. So I would say...yes." His smirk dropped. "Nevertheless, I can see I shall have to have a talk with Draco."

 

Harry's grin dropped too. "Oh, please don't sir! He hasn't done it again. And I think he's just jealous, of us I mean."

 

Severus shook his head. "Regardless of how he feels, I won't tolerate that kind of language coming from him." Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Severus held up a hand. "It's not up for discussion. Now, finish your breakfast so we can harvest the tree."

 

Harry frowned, but nodded. Shortly thereafter, the plates had been cleared, and Severus was standing in front of the tree with a camera and a notebook. Minerva was watching with interest. "Ready dad?"

 

Severus nodded. He took a picture with the camera before pulling out a quill and setting it and the notebook into the air with a wave of his wand. A sharp tap to the notebook set them into motion. They busily recorded each item as Harry called them out.

 

At one point, Severus stopped the quill. "Just a moment son. What was that last item?"

 

"Pot." Harry stepped around the tree and into Severus's view. He was carrying something that vaguely resembled an oversized Grecian urn. Then he looked down. "Well...pots really. There's a bunch of regular ones in this one." He set it down and looked up at Severus. "What?"

 

Severus shook his head. "Nothing. I just thought for a moment..." He trailed off as Harry started laughing.

 

"Right Dad. The tree might have whipped out a bunch of muggle drugs. I don't even know what that stuff looks like." Minerva started giggling from her corner.

 

"You hush." Severus snapped at her. "And you'd better not know what it looks like if you know what's good for you."

 

Harry saluted him. "Yes sir!" Then he hesitated. "But Dad..." when Severus quirked an eyebrow at him he said, "You're always saying that it's debatable if I really know what's good for me."

 

Severus rolled his eyes. "Back to harvesting, imp." Harry gave him a cheeky grin, but he did as ordered.

 

~~~

 

A short while later the tree had been harvested. Harry had boxed all the items up, and then left to find his friends, leaving Minerva and Severus to themselves. Minerva shook her head. "I'll say it again Severus. I've never seen anything like it." She gestured at the only item that hadn't fit in the boxes, an oversized circular mirror. "That tree produced that of all things. It's rema-"

 

She jumped as a voice from the mirror interrupted her. "And just what is that supposed to mean?!" She and Severus blinked and turned to face it properly. There was a large, milky-white head with overlarge, extremely expressive eyes floating in the center of it. The head had a ferocious scowl on it. "I'm perfectly useful I'll have you know! Watch!" The head spun like a top and faded away. Then the surface of the mirror shimmered, and the reflection of the room vanished, quickly replaced by a vision of Harry. He was busy speaking to his friends, Granger and Weasley. There was a sudden, quiet pop from the mirror, and they suddenly had sound.

 

"It even made some kind of mirror guys!"

 

Granger blinked. "You mean a regular mirror, or a magic one?" She looked utterly fascinated.

 

Weasley butted in before Harry could speak. "Has to be a regular one. Magic mirrors have to be enchanted by someone." At this, the distinct sound of a raspberry came from somewhere inside the mirror.

 

Granger gave him a look. "That tree shouldn't even be able to make anything at all. And it hasn't been stopped by the laws of reality yet."

 

The image faded, to be replaced by the floating head, which was grinning. "Smart lass that." Then it scowled again. "There, you see? I'm quite useful!"

 

Since Minerva looked completely dumbstruck, Severus spoke. "My apologies if you were offended." He said smoothly. "We meant that it was remarkable that the tree could make something like you in the first place. You're hardly a typical creation."

 

"Yeah, well..." The mirror trailed off, sounding somewhat mollified. "Just do me a favor and don't hang me where I'm not going to get any use ok? It'd be boring to just sit around doing nothing."

 

Severus frowned. "Your location will be up to my son. I have no doubt he'd have more use for you than I would."

 

The head made a motion that Severus took to be its version of a shrug. "Suits me fine." It narrowed its eyes suddenly. "Not sure how much use he'll have for what blooms tomorrow though."

 

Severus frowned again. "What do you mean?" 

 

The head made its shrugging motion again. "I don't know what he's getting, I just know it'll be different than usual." When Severus crossed his arms, it scowled. "Look I can't predict the future that way. It's too nebulous. I can just tell it'll be different. Even for it. Prediction isn't my primary ability."

 

Severus pursed his lips. "Fair enough, I suppose."

 

The head rolled its eyes. "Your validation has made my day." Then grew slightly more serious. "Listen mack, it's fine for your kid to hang me and all, but can you at least set me upright? Right now the best view I have is up people's noses, and it's not a pretty sight, believe me."

 

Severus scowled as Minerva started giggling again, but gave his wand a flick, conjuring up a stand, which he levitated the mirror onto.

 

The head turned to look around. "Much better. Thanks mack." It promptly vanished.

 

Severus shook his head. "It's Severus, or sir, or professor. I'm not a "Mack"!"

 

There was a raspberry from the mirror. Minerva took his arm and led him away. "Now, now, that's a bit much to expect. You have to earn the respect of most of them you know."

 

"I'm well aware of that. Most are generally more polite though."

 

"Anything to do with that tree fails to follow the general concept of "Most". I can see that now." She frowned. "What do you think it meant about tomorrow?"

 

Severus scowled.  "Isn't it obvious? It's going to be loaded down with candy. Tomorrow is Halloween after all."

 

~~~

 

The next day held a rather pleasant surprise for the man. True, there was row of treacle tarts lining the bottom. (Shaped like lightning bolts no less.) The majority of the tree however was taken up by something entirely different.

 

As he stared, Harry came into the room. He blinked. "Are those what I think they are?"

 

Severus nodded. "Yes. Lilies."

 

Indeed, Lilies of every shape, size, and color covered the tree. The spectrum of colors was nearly blinding in intensity.

 

Harry stepped forward and carefully lifted one to examine it. "Hey! They have roots and everything! Do you think we can plant them?"

 

Severus nodded and motioned him back so he could take a photo. "I suppose we'll have a use for all those pots after all."

 

~~~

 

The lilies were put into the willing care of Professor Sprout, though Harry kept a particularly red one on a table. Severus contemplated the tree for a moment, and then put out the lights.

 

He turned to go, and stopped cold. The tree lit up with an unearthly glow. For the briefest of moments, he thought he caught a glimpse of auburn, accompanied by a flash of green. He swallowed and turned away, wondering for the first time if it was all Harry's magic that kept the tree going.

 

When he went to sleep that night, for the first time in years, he dreamed of a smiling woman and her happy infectious laughter. And when he awoke, it was to the realization that perhaps she wasn't as far gone as he thought. It was then and there that he decided that while Halloween had removed Lily from him his life, it had eventually given him her son. He vowed that he'd do better with this Evans descendant.