Ron wasn't talking to him now, and that was probably part of why he didn't feel like putting on the happy face. One less person to fool. Hermione seemed worried about him but also wasn't talking to him on a normal basis, and Harry understood now thanks to Ron that it was because she believed he was cheating in order to get better grades. That just left Ginny. He gave her half hearted smiles when she asked him about the break, but that was all he could afford. It drained him to do it.

Harry had no idea that many floors below him in the Dungeons, the Potions Master paced feeling as confused and uncertain as Harry was feeling hopeless. He had permission to take Potter home... had in fact been making plans to take him away from the castle that had given him a rough term. And yet, he had not yet informed the child of his plans. If he were to be truthful with himself, he would admit that he was worried the boy didn't want to go with him.

Severus eyed the small gift wrapped box on the edge of the mantle. He'd gone as far as buying Harry a small present, hoping it would push him into asking if he wanted to spend Christmas with him. Well so much for that plan. Here it was two days until Christmas, and the rest of the students were departing this afternoon to go home for the holidays. Severus stopped pacing and eyed the box cautiously, as if there were a snake or scorpion inside, just waiting to lash out unexpectedly and bite or sting him. Life is cruel, he thought, deciding once and for all that he could not take the boy home with him. He could not risk opening himself up to the failure he knew he would be by letting the child further into his life. Just look at his father and the steps he'd already taken towards becoming him. No, he would not subject himself, or Harry to that.

* * *

Everybody was gone. Harry had a sinking suspicion that even Snape had gone home for the holidays already. Today was Christmas eve and like many of the other staff, Snape was missing from the Head table. McGonagall was there talking to professor Sprout, and down the table Trelawney was trying to eavesdrop, and earlier Harry had seen Dumbledore, but there was no sign of Snape. Harry had even gone down and knocked on his office door, but there had been no answer.

For the first time he could remember, Harry wondered if perhaps the man had a family to go home to. In the past it would have seemed impossible, because Harry had believed like most students that Snape was a cruel, intolerable man. Now Harry knew that he was not, and as he sat by himself at Gryffindor table, staring into his eggs, he imagined Snape at home with a wife and small children, preparing for the holidays. Harry wondered then what their names were, the kids Snape must have, and allowed himself a brief moment imagining himself there with them... imagining that he was just part of their family, loved and washed in an warmth of belonging.

Harry heaved a sigh. He couldn't think like that anymore. The truth was he wasn't part of their family... wasn't part of any family, not even the Weasleys. He was just Harry. Just one person, alone. Not feeling hungry, Harry grabbed an apple from the table and made no show of hiding it as he stood sullenly and made his way out of the Great Hall. He'd been losing sleep again, and feeling as though he could use a nap, he made for Gryffindor tower, where he dropped onto his bed, and felt more defeated than he had ever felt before.

* * *

"Potter. Potter!"

Harry started and looked up to find Snape standing above him with a briefcase in one hand.

"Sir?"

"Well, why aren't your things packed?"

"My- my things?"

"You'd better hurry. I leave in five minutes and if you expect to come you'll need clothing and personal belongings for two weeks."

Harry's eyes widened. He leapt from bed so quickly that Severus startled and took a hurried step back. At this point Harry didn't care where he was going, or that the man had such a strange way of inviting him along, but he would be ready in half the time. Severus took all of this into account as he watched Harry haphazardly throw clothing and a few books into his backpack along with his wand before standing still and expectant before him, bag slung over his shoulder.

Severus allowed his eyes to rake over the boy's wardrobe to be sure he had indeed packed enough to make it through the break, and wondered if he was doing the right thing. He'd wrestled with the decision and changed his mind enough times anyhow.

"Very well, come along," he said, and lead Harry down to the empty common room.

With a look around to be sure they were alone, Severus withdrew a pouch full of floo powder and offered it to Harry.

"24 Braeport, Dunblane," Severus said with a nod for Harry to step into the fireplace there in the middle of the common room.

Harry stepped in with his bag and repeated the address he'd been given, followed by the familiar nauseating spinning sensation as he was whisked away through the floo network. On the other side, Harry was quick to pick himself up from where he'd been spit out by the floo so that Snape wouldn't come through and trample him. A few moments later, his Professor was stepping out of the grate with far more grace than Harry had managed, and cast a careful look around his home, as if to assess that it was all still in order. Harry gave a look around as well, and knew immediately that he liked it here.

Unlike the dungeons, there was plenty of light filtering in through the windows, and the living room here felt unconfined. A car rambled by on the road out front and Harry raised his brows, interested that professor Snape lived in a distinctly Muggle neighborhood, and a nice one at that judging by the fronts of the other houses he spied out the window.

"There is a spare room upstairs that you may use," Severus said after clearing his throat. "It is the first door on the right. The bathroom is the second. I will prepare lunch while you unpack."

Harry nodded, and felt uncertain now that he was here as Snape moved off towards another part of the house. When he'd been staying in the man's quarters he was not allowed anywhere but his room and the bathroom, and that one time only, in the kitchen and living room. Now it seemed he was being invited to wander as he pleased. Well, not exactly, he reminded himself, he had been told to go put his things away.

Climbing the stairs, Harry found what he believed was his bedroom and opened the door gently. There was a twin bed, a closet, and a desk and chair in front of the window. Dropping his bag on the bed Harry hurried over to his window to get a better look at his surroundings. His initial assessment of the neighborhood was correct. They were in the hills and the homes seemed to grow nicer the further up the hill his eyes climbed. Even the Dursleys would want to live here.

Going back to his bag, he began to empty it with the thought that he did not live here. He did in fact, live with the Dursleys, in the cupboard under the stairs, or more accurately, in the shed in the back yard. At least this Christmas would be a happy one, he hoped, the first in his remembrance. It was already looking brighter than he had expected, and he cast an appreciative look to the window again.

He put his few belongings in the closet and despite the lack of hangers, was determined not to let anything dampen his mood, even the awkward feeling that kept trying to creep up on him. The make believe family he had made up for Snape back at Hogwarts was nowhere to be seen, and yet, here Harry was. Had he somehow wished himself here? Was he still dreaming?

After sitting on his bed quietly for twenty minutes, Harry smelled something good floating up the stairs and decided to investigate what was for lunch.

The kitchen through a door on the other side of the living room, and there was a small table at the back with two chairs.

"Do you like Spam?" Severus asked as he had finished plating two fried spam sandwiches with crisps.

"Yes," was the automatic response that tumbled from his mouth, when in reality the answer was no. Snape smiled then, a rarity Harry was sure, as he set the plates down, and Harry sat down at the table. Aunt Petunia had often fed him spam straight from the can, and on the rare occasions when she'd given it to him fried, he'd still hated it as he'd watched Dudley wolf down fried chicken or steak or any number of other more appetizing meats. He did not want to say anything that might anger his Professor however, because Harry could see the man had taken care in fixing lunch for him. To be honest he was still quite afraid that the man would get angry with him and kick him out at some point. While it was a certainty staying with him at Hogwarts, it was a fear now, especially considering that he did not know exactly where Dunblane was, or just how he would get back to Hogwarts if he were thrown out. It was more than that though... Harry wanted to please the man in front of him... wanted not to disappoint him.

Snape watched him as Harry took a bite of his sandwich and gave a small smile as he chewed it up and swallowed. Blah. Disgusting. Oh well, awkward was better than angry.

Harry wolfed down his sandwich, if for no other reason than to not prolong the experience.

"Is the spare room suitable?" Severus asked as he ate his own lunch at a more reasonable pace.

"Yes sir," he said, and this time it was the truth. "There's a nice view." Snape looked as though he were thinking on this before he gave a nod, and Harry knew what the man thought. Because Harry had lived in a shed, anything was a nice view. It was true, but Harry didn't want him to think that about him.

"I mean, that since we're up in the hills, I can see down towards some of the city."

"Just about everything is closed by now, and will be tomorrow as well. Many here are like myself, and celebrate Christmas the day before."

"Today sir?" Harry wondered. He'd never even had Christmas before coming to Hogwarts, and he and Ron had always opened up presents Christmas morning when they'd appeared at the foot of their beds. The Dursleys had always locked him away for two or three days around Christmas and Harry was not allowed to see or take part in their traditions.

"Why do you celebrate the night before?"

"A tradition my grandparents insisted on when we spent Christmas at Prince Manor."

Harry swallowed. Prince Manor? Like Malfoy Manor? He wasn't sure if he liked the sound of that, but didn't say so.

"Oh." Harry looked around the kitchen and out through the doorway to the living room. There were no Christmas decorations, but he didn't mind, again because he hadn't grown up with them.

"Another tradition is to decorate on Christmas eve." Harry's head shot up. Had he used Occlumency on him to read his thoughts? Or perhaps he'd just seen Harry looking around and deduced what he'd been thinking about.

"How do you decorate?"

Severus rose from his chair, finished with his lunch now, and disappeared through a thin door in the back of the kitchen. Harry heard some noises that sounded as though he were rummaging through a pile of things, but came out with a box of Christmas decorations, red tinsel hanging out over the edge.

"It is not a necessity, but we may decorate if you wish."

Biting his lip, Harry thought that he really didn't want to cause any trouble, but then again, he'd never been part of Christmas traditions before, and he'd already gone to the trouble of pulling out the box.

Snape used his wand repeatedly to spruce up the dilapidated decorations as he handed them to Harry to hang at will. Harry hung tinsel town the banister of the stairs and above the windows. There was no tree so he used the old Muggle lights instead around the edges of the ceiling and around the windows, which was all well and good because there were no ornaments in the box anyhow. Finally he reached into the box for a small statue of an angel, and set it on top of the old piano next to the window. There, he thought, satisfied. Now it's Christmas.

After they were done decorating, Harry retreated up to his room to read one of the novels he'd grabbed from his nightstand. He'd accidentally grabbed one of Ron's action novels, but decided that since he had it he might as well read it. He would have taken the novel back downstairs, but already he'd encountered a number of awkward silent moments, and he didn't want to push his luck by making Snape feel awkward in his own home. It was never like this in his office, because Harry'd had the excuse of studying then, so he was meant to be quiet.

* * *

Severus contemplated the gift he'd brought along for Harry. It sat on the mantelpiece, just as it had in his quarters. It wasn't much, but he hoped the child would like it. He'd been upstairs for nearly two hours reading, although Severus wondered if perhaps he wasn't uncomfortable here, and if he'd done the right thing by bringing him home with him.

"Harry!" Well, he'd just have to stop wondering, because it was too late to take him back to the castle now, wasn't it? And he didn't want to besides.

Harry came down the stairs, book still in hand. It was getting dark now and he was surprised at how quickly he'd been drawn into the book about the Chaser who had been kidnapped and whom had found himself sucked into a world of mystery and near constant dueling.

He looked at Snape expectantly, and he motioned for Harry to have a seat on one of the couches. Once he was sitting, Snape gave another glance at the box on the mantelpiece, and took hold of it. He sat on the other couch and handed the gift to Harry. "Merry Christmas Harry."

Instead of taking the box however, Harry just stared at it. It wasn't wrapped in Gryffindor red, but still, Severus thought the child would be happy to have it, wouldn't he? He held it out further, and finally Harry took it, eyes glued to the box. He carefully unwrapped the gift, as if in a daze, and pulled out the bar of chocolate. There was an inscription on it and Severus knew Harry had read it. In short it described that it was an everlasting bar of chocolate, that would replenish itself every time it was nearly eaten. For a child like Harry, who had probably not had a lot of sweets growing up, and who was protective about having food with him at all times, it seemed an appropriate gift.

"Thank you sir," Harry said quietly, still staring at the chocolate bar.

"It should not be a substitute for real food, but I would not object to your indulgence of it after meals whilst you are here." He expected Harry to take a bite of it, to see how it tasted, as any other child would have, but he remained still, staring at it. Something wasn't right.

"Harry?"

Harry's hands began to shake slightly and he moved quickly to rub a tear off of his cheek.

"I'm sorry sir," Harry's fumbled words came out. "Don't mean to be a big baby over candy."

Severus was silent, and Harry filled the silence after a few moments. "I'm not used to getting gifts is all, only from Hermione and the Weasleys, and nobody gave me anything this year because they're all mad at me. And I don't want you to be mad at me sir, I just can't-"

Standing to move to the other couch to sit next to Harry now, Severus tried to make sense of what he'd just been told. "What makes you think I'm mad at you?" He wasn't used to speaking in such a gentle manor, but his charge had just come undone over a bar of chocolate, and he felt the situation warranted it.

"It's gonna happen eventually sir. Just like it does everybody else," he choked. "You'll chuck me in the end. I- I'm not used to having somebody invite me places or take care of me like this, and I just don't- I don't want you to be angry."

Severus sighed and put his arm around Harry's shoulder. In all of the jumbled feelings that had spilled from the Gryffindor's mouth, he believed he understood at least some of it. Harry had no solid foundation for relationships, case in point his friends who had conveniently chosen to forget about him this Christmas. And here Severus was trying to provide that solid foundation that he needed, and Harry was sure that it wasn't solid at all, despite his want for it to be.

"I'm not going anywhere Harry," Severus said without even thinking about it. He gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze, only to realize that his guest was asleep against him. Severus didn't take affront to this however, because he for one knew how exhausting it could be to ride the roller coaster of emotions that Harry had been on recently. To do so as a teenager would be even more taxing.

Severus didn't know how, but he was determined to give Harry some security in his life, and this thought was a comfort to him. It was something his father never would have vowed.