It was nearly midnight, and Harry was still sitting on his bed, knees propped up with pad of paper against them. One of the drawing books, one on drawing what the Muggle's called 'manga' style, lay open next to him as Harry looked back at it every few moments, trying to figure out how to draw body proportions correctly. In the four days since Christmas, Harry had read through the book on drawing basics and perspective, and was now half way through the manga book.

Using his charmed Muggle Pencil, which would forever stay sharp and never use up its eraser, Harry erased the arm he was drawing for the fourth time, hurrying to sketch it out again. They were supposed to return to Hogwarts tomorrow evening and he was afraid that if he didn't get this picture done now, he'd lose the magical feeling he had about it.

Finally he was satisfied with the basic sketch and rubbed his eyes hard before giving it another looking over. There were no facial features yet, but not having a camera, or the nerve to ask, Harry had drawn a picture of Snape with his arm around Harry's shoulder as they stood in Ward's Cross in front of a shop. Of course Snape had never put his arm around Harry's shoulder that day, but Harry liked to pretend that he did, and he wanted a picture to remember his best Christmas.

Flipping ahead ten pages, Harry found the various ways to draw eyes and mouths and the way manga expressions worked, and began drawing in the rest of the features and clothing. It was near three am when he was finally done with the shading and the town, and was rather proud that he'd managed a reasonable looking picture in two point perspective. He'd have to see if anyone back in Gryffindor tower had some colored pencils he could borrow to color it in.

Harry carefully tucked the page between the pages of his drawing book, and set it on the floor with his pencil, feeling ready to collapse. He didn't want to waste any of his time here. Despite what Snape had said about talking to the Headmaster, Harry knew for certain he'd be made to return to Privet Drive again at the end of the school year. He fell asleep with this in mind and woke with a start a few hours later from a nightmare about the Dursleys, but found that Snape was not the one who had woken him. He wished his pretend father was there with him then, and went back to sleep.

At nine am the next morning, when Harry had still not appeared for breakfast, Severus went upstairs to the boy's room and knocked softly, before letting himself in to see Harry sprawled across the bed at an angle on top of the covers. Face buried in the pillow, one of his arms hung off the side and his feet stuck out over the foot of the bed.

Severus spied one of Harry's new books on the floor, and moved to have a look at what had kept the teen interested enough to stay up half the night reading. It was a drawing book Severus hadn't realized the child had purchased. A page stuck out a little at an angle and he tugged lightly until it came loose. He stared at it with some surprise. It was a fairly good rendering of himself and Harry in a village he could only assume was Ward's cross. Both figures were smiling, and he took note especially that Harry had drawn his professor's arm around his own shoulder. It served to remind Severus once again that for that day, they were father and son to all who saw them. He quickly tucked the page back in the book and proceeded to shake Harry's shoulder.

"Are you going to rise for breakfast Mr. Potter?"

"Hm?" Harry rolled over and squinted in the bright sunlight that was now flooding the room, probably reflecting off of some of the snow from outside.

"Wha' time'sit?"

"Nearly nine ten. Your breakfast is on the table downstairs with a heating charm on it."

"Oh, sorry," Harry said then, sitting up quickly.

"Do not be. I do not expect you to be up early every morning while on vacation."

Is that what this is, Harry thought. Even a month ago Harry was certain he would have classified this as a week and a half long detention if someone would have told him he was to go home with Professor Snape for Christmas.

Snape left the room and Harry changed into clean clothes in a hurry, not wanting to waste any of his last day with Snape there. When he'd finished his breakfast a few minutes later, Snape said, "I have some business to attend to at the Ministry of Magic today before returning to Hogwarts."

"Oh," Harry said, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Do I detect disappointment Mr. Potter?"

Harry frowned. Suddenly the man was back to calling him by his last name instead of just Harry. He bit his lip.

"I guess I'll use the time to pack up then while you're away," Harry said a little sullenly while trying to avoid the question.

With a raised brow, Severus said, "I was hoping you'd join me."

With some interest now, Harry asked, "Are we allowed to be seen together? Won't the death eaters spot us, or will we use more of the potion?"

"We will need to use a small amount of the potion, and take some with us. For official business we will need to look like ourselves."

Harry's curiosity was definitely peaked now. Professor Snape was talking like this official business involved Harry somehow.

"What are we going to go do?"

Harry noted that Snape looked uncomfortable briefly before he said, "I was hoping to fill out paperwork to gain guardianship of you until you're seventeen. This would mean you would not have to return to the Dursleys for the summer."

Quiet for long moments, Harry thought over what he had just heard. Surely he hadn't heard right. Who would want to be his guardian, and only for a few months at that?

"To be my guardian?" Harry queried quietly.

"If you will agree, then yes."

"Buy why?"

"I realize it would only be for a few months until you come of legal wizarding age, but," he paused. What he was going to say was it would spare Harry from having to go back to those wretched Muggles. What he wanted to say however, was that it was because he wanted to.

"Sir?"

"You do not have to say yes. The headmaster will likely not approve, but it is not his choice, and he has clearly made unsafe choices for you in the past."

There was silence between them again. Snape never really had answered his question.

"So, so you just want me to stay with you until I'm 17?" That would make sense after all. He couldn't be too much of a burden from January to June.

"I was hoping you would agree to something more along the lines of... adoption. After what you had said on Christmas."

"Adopt- adoption?" No, he must still be dreaming. NOBODY wanted to adopt Harry Potter. Not even the Weasleys.

When Harry dropped his head to stare at his hands, and his bangs obscured his face, Severus knew that the boy's answer was no. He stood up and dumped the remainder of his coffee into the sink. Strange, he thought, he hadn't expected to feel like this today... like somebody had ripped a part of him away from himself.

"We can just return to Hogwarts this morning then," he said. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell your friends about the offer I made to you."

At the edge to Snape's voice, Harry looked up, face falling. The man really had offered to adopt him? He seemed a little upset now.

"Sir?"

"I'm going to go pack Mr. Potter. You should have your things ready by ten." He hurried out of the small kitchen then, and Harry heard him climbing the stairs to the second floor.

Harry wasn't sure what he should be feeling inside right now. Here someone that he liked had gone and offered to adopt him, and apparently Harry had done or said the wrong thing, because the man had quickly changed his mind and rescinded the offer. What had possessed Professor Snape to offer in the first place, Harry didn't know. Maybe it was pity. Harry wished he had said yes, whatever the reason was.

Numbly Harry made his way upstairs and packed his old clothes into his bag, along with his drawing and Ron's book. He wished he could take his new, warm clothes with him and his new books, but he was sure the man would want to return all of his gifts now that Harry had upset him. When he went back downstairs with his bag, Snape was waiting by the fireplace with a jar of floo powder. He held it out to Harry, who took it and shouted, "Hogwarts," before he disappeared, sad to think he would never see Snape's house again.

School started two days after Harry and Severus returned to the castle. Harry had hoped to catch Snape's eye at meal times, but the man had seemed to vanish into thin air, and Harry's gut felt like lead.

Ron, noting Harry's sullen look upon his return, and perhaps having had a chance to think things over during Christmas break, decided that he was talking to Harry again, though it wasn't helping Harry's mood much.

"What's got you down?" Ron asked the morning of the first day of classes.

Harry shrugged as he pushed his eggs around his plate.

Ron dug in his bag and pulled out a small box that he held out to Harry. "I know it's a little late, but I got you this."

Quietly Harry took the box, feeling like he wasn't really there, and pulled off the lid. It was a leather holster for his wand.

"Goes around through your belt loops. It's a dueling holster. Figured you could use it for when Malfoy thinks it's funny to hex you in the halls."

"Thanks Ron," Harry said, putting the lid back on. He wanted to feel thankful that his friend had decided he was worth it to make the effort, to stop being mad at him even, but he felt nothing at all.

That afternoon in Potions, Harry was in for a surprise and a nasty shock when he found that Snape seemed to be back to his normal routine of snark at all Gryffindors, including Harry.

"Five points from Gryffindor for your failing potion Potter." Snape didn't look at him as he passed or deducted points, or else he might have seen the look on Harry's face. Ron and Hermione did however as Harry looked away, trying to fight back the urge to melt into tears right there. He'd gone and blown his one and only chance at having a parent, somebody who really cared, and now it was like nothing had happened at all in the past two months.

"Git," Ron muttered under his breath on their way out of the room, but Harry made no comment. The last thing he could afford right now was to lose his only friend. That had felt bad enough the first time it had happened just before Christmas. He didn't need that again.

During Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures that day, Harry felt chilled without his new coat, and felt terrible during Quidditch practice after dinner that evening. By eight, he just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep until summer. Maybe it would all be over by then.

The next week and a half went much the same as Harry's first day back for Harry, with the exception that as the weather continued to grow colder outside, Harry continued to feel crummier. Each trip outside left him shivering, and left his skin feeling clammy. He didn't go to the Hospital Wing because the truth was, he didn't deserve it.

Snape had started showing up to meals again, but Harry couldn't bring himself to look at the man anymore. It made him want to cry knowing the chance that he'd lost, and knowing the way that Snape felt about him again, what with the way he'd been treating him in class.

At night Harry wasn't sure if he was losing sleep because he was sick and dizzy, or because of his dreams, where chances of a lifetime taunted him before vanishing into thin air.

By the time the end of the week rolled around, Harry felt defeated and hopeless. It felt like everything he built up spent it's time collapsing around him, and finally it was Harry's turn to just collapse at the dark end of a corridor somewhere in the castle he didn't even know where. He tried to get up again, but he was sick and weak and his legs wouldn't hold him. Putting his hands up over his face he finally fell apart. He could not be in more despair if someone had just died, because he knew he was dying inside, and didn't know if there was a way back now. He didn't know if he could be in his own skin anymore.

Anyone could have found Harry that night. He was only a few minutes away from McGonagall's office, and just a corridor over from Flitwick's quarters. McGonagall and Flitwick didn't happen upon Harry this night though. Neither did Dumbledore, who often roamed the corridors at all hours of the night in contemplation, or the Prefects that were patrolling. There was a soul who turned the corner to see a huddle of a human being at its lowest point, however.

With how dark it was, there was no possible way Severus could know it was Harry there weeping, gripping his arms weakly as he tried to hold on to reality, but he knew. He could have turned around then, just let the boy cry it out, but despite the rough exterior he'd displayed that week since returning from vacation, he could not shake his feelings of protectiveness for this child, the child he wanted to be his.

Severus slid down the wall next to Harry and put his hands up to his own face for a moment. What Harry was doing... that's what he'd felt like doing all week. He'd considered just not showing up to classes half a dozen times. The times he'd have to face Harry. It wasn't that he'd just always desired children. At one point he had... when he'd been with Lily. But the feeling had just come upon him during those times he'd taken care of Harry... spent time with him. Two months ago he was openly rejected by the teen and took pride in knowing he'd raised the child's ire in some way. A week ago, he'd felt disheartened to know the rejection was because he just wasn't good enough, and never would be.

He didn't know if Harry knew he was there or not, because the child's eyes were closed as he lay there on the stone floor in tears. At a particularly hard sob, Severus lowered his hands from his face and let a hand rub the child's back, just to know someone was there for him. With all the boy had been through, who knew what had him so riled this night.

After a few moments, Harry opened his eyes and upon seeing Severus, only sobbed harder. He curled in on himself and Severus reached down to lift him to a sitting position, but Harry was too weak to hold it. He slumped against Severus and cried harder.

"Why?" Harry asked, choked. "Why did you want me? I know it was only for a minute, but why?"

"I wanted you for more than a minute," Severus said quietly, and unsure what was bringing on the sudden honesty, he said, "I wanted you to be mine before you were even a thought in Lily's mind. I loved her more than James Potter could ever have imagined, and when you told me you liked pretending to be my son, I wanted you to be mine then too."

"I'm not worth it," Harry said, tears slowing, but still falling on his wet face. "Nobody wants to adopt me. Not even you."

"I asked you," Severus reminded him then.

Harry's breath hitched. "You took it back because I did something wrong and I'm not worth it." He couldn't help but sticking his bottom lip out as it trembled with the exhaustion and emotion that was overpowering him.

"I'm a very serious man Mr. Potter. I never take back an offer I make. I let the matter drop because I thought you'd rejected it."

When Harry had not answered after a minute or so, Severus thought he might have fallen asleep, but finally he said, "I need a dad. I can't do it on my own anymore."

Severus looked down in the darkness to Harry's mop of black hair and ran his hand through it before putting his chin on Harry's head. "It takes a man to admit that. I never would have."

"Dad?"

Startled by the title, Severus said quietly, "Yes?"

"I'm sick. I can't make it to the Hospital Wing."

From behind Harry, Severus put his hand on Harry's forehead and was surprised to feel that it was burning hot. He moved to stand and help Harry to his feet, but Harry's legs weren't willing to lock into place even to hold him up, so Severus scooped him up under the legs and arms and carried his too light son up another floor to the Hospital Wing. A wooden chair was his home as he stayed with him through the night.