"Seriously Harry, you've been like this for weeks now and it's only gotten worse. I insist you go to see Madam Pomfrey."

As he had grown ever more tired with the passing days, he had also grown more irritable, and gave Hermione a sneer for her concern.

"Don't look at me like that Harry, you know it's true. How are you ever going to keep up with your classes if you're sleeping through them?"

"I'm still getting E's and O's aren't I?" he asked with narrowed eyes as they neared their classroom.

"Yes, but only because you're staying up half the night studying."

"You do the same thing," Ron pointed out.

"Yes, but I also sleep before going to class."

Harry stifled a yawn and said, "Give it a rest. I'm not going to Pomfrey and you're not either."

She crossed her arms and gave Harry her own sour look. "Suit yourself, but when they place you in remedial everything, then don't come begging me for help." She hurried on ahead of them and once they were in the classroom, made it clear that there was no room for Ron or Harry at her table in the front row. Harry was insistent on sitting in the back anyhow, for as much as he tried to keep his eyes open during his classes this day, his vision blurred after a few minutes and his head bobbed as he drifted off.

Ron prodded Harry awake twice to add things to his cauldron, and once Harry cut his finger because he was too tired to hold the knife correctly.

"Maybe she's right," Ron said. "You already lost points in Transfiguration. Just think what Snape will do if he catches you sleeping or exploding your cauldron."

Harry yawned again and rubbed at his eyes, which were raw from being rubbed so often.

"Just stop, ok? I just need to concentrate."

"Why don't you just go to Pomfrey?"

"Because." His tone had such finality in it that Ron didn't press any further, even though he wanted to.

Truth be told, every time Harry drifted off at night, he was met with dreams so full of death, destruction, or abuse, that he woke immediately after. If Voldemort wasn't sending him visions of his most recent atrocities, then he was reliving his own horrid summer at the Dursleys, where he had once again been unceremoniously dumped into the shed with his things, and been made to scrounge for food around the neighborhood. Luckily, he thought as he tried to read the instructions in his book, he had been smart enough to keep a little Muggle money with him when he returned from Hogwarts, so that he could walk into town for supplies now and again, even if they did consist of potato chips and other cheap things that wouldn't go bad in the shed full of spiders.

Harry was just remembering vividly waking up on his first morning back covered in large spiders when suddenly there was a bang and he was so startled he nearly fell off his chair. His eyes shot open and he looked up, startled to see his furious Potions master standing in front of him, fist on his desk where he had slammed it down.

"How dare you sleep in my class Potter?" The man was seething and Harry's eyes were wide for the first time that day. He would never admit it, although he was fairly certain that Ron knew, but he was often intimidated by the tall man with curtains of black hair. Normally he was up to acting defiant to cover his fear, but today was not one of those days and Snape seemed to realize it.

"Arrogant, self-conceited, spoiled, disrespectful Potter," the man ranted on in front of everybody. Harry was tense and felt like he couldn't breathe. Snape reminded him forcefully of Uncle Vernon on his bad days... on the days that Harry usually ended up with black eyes or broken bones.

"I'm sorry," Harry squeaked out.

"Get out of my classroom Potter." It was a deadly tone and Harry hastened to obey.

"Be back here at seven o'clock sharp or you'll wish you'd been eaten by a Grindylow!"

Harry hurried out of the class, bag slung over his shoulder and didn't stop until he was down the corridor and around the corner, where he let his head bang against the wall behind him. That was too close, Harry thought. Maybe Ron and Hermione were right. After catching his breath he made his way up to the Entrance Hall, noticing that the Gryffindor hourglass had suddenly lost a good fifty red rubies, and was disheartened. He wouldn't be popular for a few days after this he thought.

Thinking that he might be able to get a short nap between now and detention, he sluggishly made his way up to his soft bed, and was out cold as he hit the mattress.

* * *

"This floor had better be shining Potter, or you'll be here all night until it's done."

"Yes sir."

Harry wanted to not turn his back on the man when he started scrubbing, but he had no choice, no matter how vulnerable and uncomfortable it made him feel. He just had this feeling that one day Snape would snap and hex him senseless... or worse, roll up his sleeves and splay him out on the stone floor. No hexes came however, and the night wore on at an excruciating pace.

His stomach grumbled from sleeping through dinner, and Snape took to ranting at him every now and again about respect and being a disgrace even to the name of Gryffindor. Harry tried to listen but his mind was fuzzy. His sleep had been absent of nightmares during his little nap, but he'd been woken all too soon by Ron and sent on his way down to the Dungeons.

At least I'm doing something, Harry thought to himself as nine o'clock came and went. If he weren't here he'd be trying to fall asleep and being dragged into nightmares worse than he'd ever had.

Finally it was nine forty five and Snape seemed to have given his last rant for the night. Harry was dismissed with stern warnings not to disrespect him again by falling asleep in class, and headed up to the dorms.

"How'd it go?" Ron asked.

Harry shrugged as he passed by on his way up the stairs, hopes of getting some decent sleep gripping him tightly. "Scrubbed floors. Got told off. Pissed him off." He didn't wait for Ron to say anything else and kept walking. It was only fifteen minutes before he was back downstairs again with his books. Ron and Hermione had no idea that he'd been out cold before being woken by a gripping dream of Voldemort trying to murder him with his bare hands, laughing manically all the while.

"What are you working on?" Ron asked.

"Potions apparently," Harry said as he rubbed his tired eyes for the thousandth time that day. "Snape gave me extra homework... half a foot on respecting my elders."

Ron stuck his tongue out at the thought and left Harry to it.

It surprised him then when he looked to the back of the class the next day to find the boy neglecting his potion again as he slept, head down and eyes closed. The gall of it made Severus' temper boil over.

"POTTER!" The shout was loud and startled everybody as it echoed off the walls from the front of the room where Snape stood fuming, staring back at Harry.

Harry sat up, eyes wide again, angry that he had fallen asleep. He had skipped breakfast for a nap, and had skipped lunch for the same. Two forty minute naps just weren't doing it for him though and here he sat in trouble yet again.

Shit, shit, shit, Harry thought as Snape strode back to him, and Harry pushed his stool back to put some distance between himself and the man that was suddenly too close for comfort. Harry was breathing heavily and Snape didn't fail to notice.

"Detention tonight and tomorrow night for your defiance Potter, and you're to write a two foot essay on the importance of a good night's sleep and not rebelling against authority!" Not wanting to kick him out of class again so that he missed valuable learning time, Snape turned on his heel and strode back to the front of the room angrily, where he sat and stared at Harry for the rest of the class. Harry was so tense that he couldn't fall asleep if he tried, but he also didn't have much luck deciphering the instructions and properly piecing together the potion when somebody was staring at him so intently.

Detention that night went much as it had the night before, and Snape was again angered the next day to find Harry dozing in class. Much to the dismay of the Gryffindors around him, Snape deducted another 25 points for disrespect and sentenced him to yet another detention, this time to be served with Filch at lunch the next day.

Points Harry could handle losing, but precious sleeping time he could not, and was very upset as he left class that day.

"Get over yourself Potter," Dean said as he shoved past Harry roughly in the corridor, and Harry winced. They'd just returned to Hogwarts a few weeks before and he was still fairly bruised and tender from Uncle Vernon's going away gift. At first he had thought the bruises on his torso and back were what had been keeping him awake... if only that had been it he could have snuck some bruise balm from Pomfrey.

Harry drank three cups of coffee the next day at breakfast, knowing he faced detention with Filch at lunch and Detention with Snape after dinner. The coffee helped for a short while, but then he felt like he was slowly crashing and was even more tired than before. By three o'clock when it was time for Potions, Harry's nerves couldn't take another run in from Snape, especially when he knew he could no longer stay awake.

"Oy, Harry, where're you going?" Ron turned to look at him as he started going the opposite direction of the Dungeons.

"Bed," Harry said tiredly.

"But what about class? Hermione will have a fit."

"But at least Snape won't. I won't be able to keep my eyes open, and unless you want more points taken away..." he trailed off and Ron sighed.

"Go on then. I'll make up an excuse... I'll say you're barfing or something."

"Great," Harry muttered, half in sarcasm, half in relief. He left Ron in the hall and decided he couldn't wait to get all the way up to Gryffindor tower to sleep, so he found a dusty classroom on the second floor instead that he knew was never used, and sat in an empty desk, letting his head fall on his crossed arms. It was uncomfortable, but he barely noticed as he nodded off, his last thoughts of sparing the house from losing points.

Scowling at nothing in particular Severus stewed over the fact that this was all Potter's fault. If he had the sense enough to go to sleep at a decent hour then he wouldn't be falling asleep all over the place. But no, the boy was probably staying up playing games with his friends, or worse, out sneaking around the castle.

Without warning he wrenched his office door open, ready to find his Prefects and relieve them for the night of their duties since he himself wanted to patrol and catch Potter out of bed, and was surprised to find two startled prefects on the other side, looking up at him.

"Marwick, Ashdown, you're relieved for the night."

"Sir?" the fifth year girl asked.

"I will be patrolling tonight Ashdown. Return to your common room and enjoy the rare chance at having a night off before I change my mind."

Ashdown looked like she was going to ask more questions, but Marwick, a seventh year who knew better then push his luck grabbed her arm and tugged her away with a fast, "Yes sir, thank you," and then they were gone.

Severus set off in a somewhat satisfied mood, knowing he would have a chance at catching Potter out after hours and dragging him up to see the Headmaster. Normally he would just give detention for being out after curfew, but with the boy's disrespect in class it was obvious that he needed a firm hand and perhaps a good scare.

His mood dissipated slowly as he patrolled the corridors for an hour and a half and still had not found Potter. Two fifth years had been caught at nine thirty kissing in a dead end corridor, and had both been given detention with Pomfrey, who delighted in giving lovers the ‘talk' as they scrubbed out bedpans. He had also caught Ginny Weasley out sneaking around, although she claimed she'd left her book bag in a classroom, Snape had a sneaking suspicion she was looking for Potter as well and had taken twenty points for lying to him.

Thinking about what Weasley had said about classrooms, Severus decided to patrol through the classroom corridors again on second and third floor to see if he could catch Harry waiting for his girlfriend, but found nothing again.

About to give up and head back to the dungeons as it was almost eleven, Severus turned and caught a strange sound coming from down the corridor. He narrowed his eyes. At last, he thought.

* * *

Harry was having a bad night. He knew he was stuck inside a nightmare, but could find no way to wake himself up before Uncle Vernon pounded him senseless. The nightmare was especially bad because now his nightmares had melded into one horror instead of remaining separate as they usually did, and now Voldemort and a group of death eaters were standing by laughing as Uncle Vernon pushed him into the wall, kicked his shins, tossed him out the back door and proceeded to try to strangle the life from him. Wake up, wake up, he pleaded in his own mind, but it wasn't working and he was frantic now, worried that perhaps this wasn't a dream but reality. Yes, that was it, he thought. I've been kicked out of Hogwarts and Voldemort knows where I live now.

Suddenly Voldemort was there now, lifting Harry by the front of his shirt to keep him from trying to run, and Harry was flailing his arms, not knowing what else to do to protect himself from the monster. He was vaguely aware that he was shouting too, but somebody else was shouting his name and he opened his eyes to find Snape holding tight to the front of his shirt while fending off the wild punches and slaps from Harry's flailing hands.

Harry's eyes were wide and seeing the fear in them Severus released him, noticing how fast the boy was to put distance between them. His breathing was fast and panicked, and he looked uncertain.

"You skipped detention." Severus gave the boy a good looking over and noticed perhaps for the first time how pale and sickly he looked. He could not deny that he had pulled the boy up out of the chair intending to frighten him, but seeing him like this now, truly afraid, he took no pleasure in what he had done.

Harry looked down at his watch briefly and his cheeks tinged red in embarrassment. "I'm sorry sir, I'll do double to make it up." Harry noticed that he'd been getting a close looking over and didn't like it because he couldn't stop his hands from shaking. There was no telling what he'd shouted during his dream and he didn't want Snape to have anything to use against him.

"You skipped my class as well," Severus said, wondering how to get information from the rattled child.

"I'm sorry. I'll do extra homework." He had a worried look on his face and Severus was unsettled. The only time he'd seen the boy in a state close to this was the night Cedric had died a year and a half before.

"Potter, extra homework and extra detentions have done nothing to deter you from sleeping through my class, and my detentions. You did not turn in the extra essay I assigned to you the other day.

Harry bit his lip, and slowly, without taking his eyes off of Severus, he inched back towards his bag on the floor by the chair he'd been in and pulled out a roll of parchment, holding it out warily.

"Here it is," he said quietly, stepping away again immediately after Severus took it. He unrolled it briefly to see that it was indeed the two assigned feet on a proper night's sleep, and rolled it up again.

"Tell me then Potter, why you sleep through my classes and detentions if you understand the importance of a good night's sleep?" Judging by the response he had seen when he grabbed the boy's shirt and lifted him from the chair, he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from Potter. He could usually rile Potter up enough to snap out answers at him but not tonight. Harry grabbed his torso and took a step back, looking away at the floor.

Surprised, Severus stood up straight. That was not what he had expected. Being a spy, he was well trained in listening to body language as much as tone and actual words. What Harry had just done was clearly defensive. The way he held his torso suggested he wanted to protect an injured part of himself as well as give himself comfort.

Trying a different tack, Severus decided to provide some answers for himself and see how Harry reacted to them. "You have not been sleeping because of nightmares."

Harry didn't react, and didn't even look up. Ok, so that was possibly true, or Harry knew he couldn't hide it after what his Professor had just seen.

"And you did not go to Madam Pomfrey for a potion because," he paused to view Harry's face, half hidden in shadow in the semi darkened room, "you have something to hide."

The child's eyes flashed fear for a moment and he glanced up at Snape to see if he had noticed, which he had.

"What is it Potter?" His question hung there unanswered and Harry hugged himself tighter.

After long, silent moments, Snape said, "You will go to the Hospital Wing now then and Madam Pomfrey will run a diagnostic spell, but you already knew that."

"No," Harry dropped his arms and reached out a hand desperately as if to stop the man from spilling his secrets carelessly all over the castle. "Please. I can't."

"Why?"

Harry bit his lip, thinking for a moment, obviously torn between telling and not telling, and finally said, "Because there's nothing that can be done about it. I tried getting the Headmaster to let me stay here over breaks, but he said no. I don't want the looks Pomfrey will give me. And she'll tell everyone."

"It is against the Healer's code to give out patient information."

"Unless she gives it to guardians, which are teachers. Just like she did to that third year last year who came to school with a broken wrist."

Severus lifted his chin and gave Harry a calculating look. That boy's parents had broken his wrist as punishment. Was Harry comparing himself to that case for a reason?

"Show me then. I will not make you go to Madam Pomfrey."

Harry took another step back and was almost to the wall now as he wrapped his arms around himself again for support. He'd never shown anybody before. He didn't even like to look at the bruises in the mirror himself.

"Me or Pomfrey Potter." His tone was final and Harry knew he'd better make a choice. On the one hand he couldn't stand the looks of sympathy and knowing Pomfrey would give him, or that other teachers would give him once Pomfrey told his head of house. He didn't want exceptions made for him because of it either. And then there was Snape, who never made exceptions or gave sympathy to anyone.

Defeated, Harry collapsed tiredly into a chair, exhausted emotionally and otherwise. He put his head down on his folded arms on the desk again like when he had fallen asleep earlier and in a muffled voice said, "On my back."

He made sure his face was buried because he didn't want to see the look on Snape's face when he saw the bruises. One of them was even in the shape of Uncle Vernon's boot from what he had been able to see in the mirror.

Severus waved up the light in the room a little more and moved close enough to the chair the boy was sitting in to see. He carefully lifted the boy's shirt up his back with one finger and took in the mottled bruises covering most of it. There were scars there as well, showing where a belt had been used and had broken the skin at some point. He let the shirt back down and took a step back to give him some space again.

Harry expected to hear a gasp, or some other sound of discontent, but no sound at all came and he wasn't sure if he was concerned or happy about it. He sat up and stared straight ahead of him at the ancient blackboard.

"And the rest of your torso is the same?" came Snape's quiet voice after a few moments. Harry nodded and Snape rubbed his temple. Judging by the fact that the bruises were at least as many weeks old as Harry had been back at school, there was no internal bleeding or the boy would have already been dead. He could provide anti-bruise balm, and even dreamless sleep, but he didn't want to deal with this issue by himself. Harry was obviously very worried about what others would think.

"What did you mean when you said the Headmaster already knew?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "Every year, before the start of summer, I beg him not to make me go back. I tell him how horrible it is... even about sleeping in the shed. But he doesn't care. He says I'm safer there than anywhere else, and that I always have to go back until I'm 17."

"You sleep in the shed of your own accord?"

Harry scoffed. "No," he looked up at Snape and then back down. "There're spiders in there. I hate spiders. And it's cold and dark. They lock me out of the house and then there's no food."

Severus sighed and Harry looked up, worried again now that Snape would still force him to go to Pomfrey.

Snape looked into his eyes for a moment, trying to assess the truth in all of this. If he had not seen the bruises, he would not have believed it. There was no denying the weeks old boot prints on the boy's back however, or the scars from the belt that bore proof that this was an ongoing issue, not something new and isolated.

"I can give you dreamless sleep potion, but you need to be monitored while using it for the first few nights so that we can get the correct dosage. Too little and it will be useless, too much and it could be deadly."

Harry hung his head. The last time he'd had it he'd had to stay in the Hospital Wing.

"I do not intend to send you to the Hospital wing, and it is your choice. I will also provide you with bruise balm."

Looking up again, Harry's breathing became a little ragged. "What?" Had Severus Snape just offered to help him? And he wasn't turning him over to Pomfrey?

"Where will I go then?"

Almost unable to believe he was about to say it, Severus said, "I have a spare room. You may sleep there until we figure out the correct dosage of the potion. I would put you in a Slytherin guest room down the hall but I would be unable to monitor the effects of the potion that way. I must be within hearing distance."

He could tell that Harry was nervous as he thought about it by the way he continued to bite his lip.

"And you won't tell anyone?"

"Provided that you are not resistant and do not hinder the healing process of your bruises. If however you are disrespectful to my home or your body, I will have no choice but to tell Madam Pomfrey."

There was silence for a moment, and then Harry nodded.

"You will continue to tell your friends that you are having detention with me every night then for skipping my class and detention. When they ask why you seem less tired, you will tell them that I leave you alone to scrub the classroom floors and you take the time to sleep."

"Oh, ok."

It was obvious that Snape didn't want anybody knowing where Harry would be sleeping, and he couldn't blame him. He couldn't imagine trying to explain to his friends why he had to stay with the despised Potions Master or why he was doing it of his own free will.

Snape motioned for Harry to follow him, and book bag once again over his shoulder, Harry followed him out of the room.

Snape instructed him to stay there in the guest room, and then disappeared, presumably to retrieve the necessary potions. Perhaps this was just a strange dream, Harry thought. Maybe he was still asleep in the classroom and had been given a strange reprieve from the nightmares that seemed insistent on plaguing him.

His pondering time was cut short as Snape returned through the open door with a bottle of deep purple potion and a small measuring device, as well as a tin of white cream that Harry was well familiar with.

Snape looked him up and down and then poured a small amount of the potion into the phial and handed it to Harry who drank it down.

"It will not make you sleepy, but will keep the dreams away for eight hours once you do go to sleep. This is the correct dose for your bodyweight, but if you continue to dream with it I will need to adjust it.

Harry nodded once. "Thank you." Then a thought struck him and he asked, "You're... you're not going to watch me sleep are you?"

Snape frowned at him and cut the sharp remark he was about to give about having nothing better to do than to sit there and watch him sleep.

"My room is the one next door Potter. Judging by what I saw in the classroom, you will shout out loud enough for me to hear if the potion is not working."

"Oh, good." He seemed relieved and Snape shook his head. He picked up the bruise balm and motioned for Harry to take his shirt off. When he did so he was surprised to find the boy's chest even worse than his back, and his arms were covered in fingerprints as well where the boy had been gripped hard.

"You are to apply this twice a day until the bruises are gone. I will cover your back since you cannot reach it."

Harry turned sideways and felt uncomfortable at somebody being able to see his bruises like this. It was like somebody seeing your private journal where you had written down all your private secrets, he thought.

He startled at first when the cold cream touched his back, and Snape pulled his hand back for a moment to give Harry time to deal with it. When Harry didn't complain, he continued. Surprised by the gentle touch of the man that hated him with a fierceness Voldemort probably couldn't muster, Harry bit his lip until he was done. He really didn't like having his back to the man in case the man decided to change his mind and try to toss Harry out, but soon it was over and Snape was handing him the tin and instructing him not to mess with his private belongings in the rest of the house, and to stay out of the other rooms in the quarters that had closed doors.

Harry agreed and then Snape was gone. How strange, Harry thought. Perhaps I'm tired enough that I've finally gone crazy. He finished applying the cream to his chest and arms, and then moved down his legs to the bruises he had not shown his Professor, and lay back on the soft bed, not bothering to turn the light off.

He'll toss me out, Harry finally decided after long moments in thought. He'll get mad at me and chuck me out by morning so I'd better hide the bruise balm. He reached over and stuck the tin into his bag so that he'd have it when he left in the morning and after that was finally comfortable enough to go to sleep. Somehow knowing what was going to happen next was a comfort, and he wondered how he could be so comfortable here in this place, when he had been so uncomfortable up in Gryffindor tower.

Unfortunately, Harry was unable to sleep through the night, and woke a few hours later.

* * *

If it weren't for the fact that he hadn't been able to sleep in the first place, he might have been annoyed to hear the muffled shouting coming from the next room. He stood up from where he had been laying fully clothed on top of the covers and strode out of the room and into the guest room where Harry rolled on top of the covers in the throws of terror.

"Potter. Potter wake up." He cautiously reached down touch the boy's shoulder, now covered in the T-shirt he was wearing, and Harry startled awake, laying there breathing hard as if he'd been running from someone.

"The dose was obviously too low," he continued, not waiting for the boy to start talking. "I will give you a small amount more." He measured out a tiny measure more and handed the phial to Harry again who downed it.

Harry lay there looking wide-awake and Severus crossed his arms. "Do not fight it Potter. You need to sleep in order to know if it will work or not."

Harry rolled over so that his back was to the man and Severus gave the boy a glare before taking his cue to exit the room and shut the door. A cold shoulder was the thanks he got for trying to help the whelp.

He pulled out a book back in his room to try and take his mind off of the night's events since he hadn't been able to sleep anyway. He couldn't stop seeing the fear in the boy's eyes, or the sick look of his pale face. The book failed to capture his attention, and instead of continuing with it, he retrieved the essay the boy had written as punishment for falling asleep in class.

Eyes scanning down the page it was obvious to him what torture it must have been for the boy to write such an essay, especially considering by the quality of it that he obviously knew the benefits of getting a proper amount of rest but could not manage it on his own.

It was only half an hour before he was back in the guest room administering another small amount of the potion, and he was back twice more for the same reason.

By morning Severus was thankful that it was Saturday and that he didn't have to go to class. Potter had been sleeping peacefully since the sun started to rise, and Severus wondered if they had finally figured out the right dosage.

Unwilling to wake the boy for breakfast now that he knew he needed the sleep so badly, Severus collapsed onto his own bed and fell asleep promptly, grateful that he wasn't woken again for hours.

Worried about what his friends would say, Harry grabbed his book bag and snuck carefully out of Snape's quarters, being sure not to touch or disturb anything.

In the corridors he was cautious of any Slytherins until he exited in the Entrance Hall and made his way to the Great Hall where a few late risers were still sitting and eating breakfast.

Hermione spotted him and hurried over.

"Harry, what happened to you? Ron said you didn't come back last night!"

He scratched the back of his head. "Er, I skipped class yesterday and fell asleep in a classroom on the second floor. Snape found me round midnight when he was patrolling and read me the riot act for missing class and then his detention. I've got detention every night for the next week with him now."

"Oh Harry, how will you ever get sleep if you're doing detention all night?"

Here Harry cracked a fake grin. "He told me to work til' he came to get me again last night... and then he left. Probably went to bed himself the slimy git," Harry said. He looked around to see if anybody else was listening and said quietly, "I chucked the mop and went to sleep on the floor. He didn't come back until this morning. Thought he'd gotten one over on me giving me an all night detention."

She frowned and Harry shrugged. "Hey, it wasn't fair to give me a six hour detention was it? And the floor was clean when he came back."

"How if you were asleep?"

Harry pulled out his wand and twirled it. "I love magic. I even left a little dirt in the corners so it looked like I was lazy and hadn't cleaned it all."

Hermione frowned at him again but left the subject alone as she ushered him over to the table and started piling food onto his plate.

"I am 16 you know. I can serve myself."

"You're still too thin," she chastised him in a very Molly Weasley like way.

"Ok Molly," Harry laughed.

"But who's Moll-" she glared at him then and turned away to study her Rune's book.

Harry spent the day by himself catching up on the work he had missed, and played a game of chess at lunch with Ron, sneaking two apples, a banana, and an orange off the table and into his book bag, a habit he got into every summer that he found hard to break in the first few months of the new school term. He hated how he felt the need to sneak food and store it somewhere. He never let it go to waste, sometimes giving it to classmates, usually Ron, who were hungry after curfew, sometimes putting a freezing charm on it and hiding it in his desk or trunk for later... just in case.

After dinner, when Harry felt again too tired to stay awake, he started up the stairs to Gryffindor tower when Ron nudged him and asked, "Forgetting something mate?"

"Huh?" Harry rubbed his left eye.

"Detention? With the bat in the dungeons?"

"Oh... yeah. Guess I'll see you when I get back. Unless he makes me pull an all-nighter again. Last night he even threatened that I'd have to sit there and do extra homework in front of him if I slacked off, so we'll see."

Ron pulled a face and then waved goodbye and Harry glumly made his way back down to the dungeons, unsure of if he was to meet the man in his office or his quarters. He was half looking forward to getting more of the potion, which seemed to be helping early this morning, but was also not looking forward to being in the man's presence again, especially not now that he knew all of Harry's secrets and would be able to use them against him. Harry could also not deny that he was very uncomfortable being around somebody he considered unpredictable. Not that he liked being around Uncle Vernon, but he always knew what would happen at four Privet Drive. With Snape, who was able to intimidate Harry in any number of ways, he was unsure of what would happen next.

Deciding to try his office first, he stopped outside and knocked. The door opened to reveal a seventh year Slytherin prefect and a second year Gryffindor Harry didn't remember the name of.

"You're late Potter," Snape sneered. Harry blinked tiredly before remembering that this was supposedly detention. He took a moment to notice that the second year... Marcus? Michael? Looked a little scared and tried to give him an encouraging look, even though he received a sneer from the Prefect in return.

"You are to mop lab classroom C and D tonight, and if I find dirt in the corners again you'll be here all night, am I understood?"

"Yes sir." Harry frowned a little and moved off. C and D were the two largest classrooms, usually used for the first and second years and usually with the most stains on the floors and walls, and sometimes even the ceilings.

Harry went to the supply closet first and retrieved the mop and bucket, and moved into classroom C first, noting the purple goop that had hardened around two of the workbenches on the floor. As he surveyed the room, he wondered if any of these permanent stains had been caused by him and Ron, or even Neville. He set to work, and it was thirty minutes before Snape appeared in the doorway and gave him a dirty look.

"Potter, what are you doing?"

Harry looked up, confused. "Mopping?"

Snape sneered then and in that sneer Harry was told everything he needed to know... he wasn't actually supposed to do the detention and he was apparently a stupid dunderhead. And yes, Harry was positive that was what Snape was thinking at that moment.

"Put it away Potter and follow me."

At the door to Snape's private quarters, Harry asked, "What did he do? The second year?"

"That is none of your business Potter." Harry could tell the man was in a bad mood, possibly from having to deal with the second year, and Harry suddenly didn't envy whatever detention had been bestowed upon the boy.

He followed Snape straight back to the guest room, trying to catch a better look at the rest of the quarters but to no avail because the man in front of him took long, fast strides that Harry had to work to keep up with.

Inside Harry sat on the bed and waited for Snape to come in with the potion. When he came back he set it on the nightstand and looked around, unable to find whatever it was that he wanted.

"Where did you put the bruise balm?"

Harry froze. It was in his bag at his feet on the floor, but he couldn't tell Snape that could he? Was he not allowed to take it from the room? Wait, that hadn't mattered the night before, had it, because he had intended to steal it for himself in case the man chucked him out on his arse. He really hadn't anticipated actually coming back for a second night and being asked where he had placed it.

"Well?"

Damn it, damn it, Harry thought. Could he distract him somehow and pull it out of his bag? But then where would he put it? On the night stand where he was just looking?

"I don't know." It was one of those automatic responses that slipped out and sealed Harry's fate. He had no choice but to keep lying now.

"It was on this nightstand last night."

Harry shook his head, eyes a little wider than normal. "I don't know," he repeated, and then, tired as he was, his mind gave him away as it directed his eyes down towards his bag, if only for a split second. And Snape had seen it.

"Empty your bag Potter." It was not a request, and Harry shook his head again.

Seeing that Harry wouldn't comply, he reached down for it but Harry's sixteen-year-old Seeker reflexes were faster, and he snatched it up off the floor and clutched it to his chest.

"That's my stuff," he said, trying to cover his actions.

Snape held out his hand. "You are trying my patience Potter." Harry bit his lip and the second he looked away, Snape had snatched it out of his arms just as fast as Harry was able to snatch it up off the floor. Had Snape been a seeker? Harry didn't have much time to ponder it however as Snape was unceremoniously dumping the contents of the bag on the bed. Out came a few quills, parchment, books, notes, the nicked fruit from lunch, and the bruise balm.

Snape held it up for Harry to see and gave him a calculating look. "This is the thanks I get for trying to heal your worthless little body and help you sleep? You steal from me and then lie about it?"

Harry shook his head again, unsure of what to say, and then watched as the professor scanned the rest of the bag's contents on the bed and as he lingered overlong on the fruit.

"And you've been stealing from meals as well?"

Another shake of the head and Harry felt frozen as he could see the man visibly wrestling with himself to control his temper. Finally it seemed that the man had won, and he said calmly, "Get out." His finger pointed resolutely at the open bedroom door.

"But the potion?"

"Get- out."

Harry stood, aware that the calmness in the tone was slowly giving way to something much more unpleasant, and quickly tried to gather his things back in his bag. A firm hand reached out to grab his when he went for the fruit however.

"Leave it."

Harry looked up with question in his eyes. He didn't think it was against rules to take extra food from the table, was it? He snuck it only because he didn't want questions from his friends or housemates, but they were supposed to be allowed all the food they wanted here, weren't they?

"But, it's mine."

"It's not yours Potter, it belongs to the school."

Snape released his firm grip on Harry's wrist, and Harry went for one of the apples again before he was startled by Snape's shout of, "OUT!" Harry jumped and looked at the man, who had definitely lost control over his emotions now and looked murderous. And yet, Harry couldn't relinquish the fruit. He felt like he needed to have something with him at all times, just in case. He half fancied grabbing the apple and snatching the bruise balm away from the man before making a run for it, but he had no doubt the man would hunt him down and kill him.

"I- I need it," he tried, faltering at the look on the man's face. He reached for it one more time, and then Snape moved toward him fast, and Harry reacted, apple in hand to shield his face for the impact, and sank to the floor, cowering as if he were back at four Privet Drive and this was uncle Vernon towering over him, denying him the food.

"P- please," Harry said, voice as shaky as his hands, eyes clenched closed and head bowed, hands still above him.

There were long silent moments and no blows came reigning down upon him. There were no kicks, no screaming, and Harry was still on the floor waiting for something, anything to happen just so that he could get it over with. Instead, there was a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched at the unexpectedly gentle contact.

"Get up." The voice was quiet, strained somehow, but not from anger. Harry couldn't place the emotion behind the words but knew it seemed foreign coming from Snape's lips.

Harry chanced a glance up at the man, who had backed up several steps to give Harry his space, and after another moment, raised himself slowly from the floor, and swallowed hard.

"Sit down."

He obeyed, wondering if this were a trick. Perhaps the man wished to lead him into a false sense of security.

"Why did you feel the need to hide the balm?"

Harry looked away, ashamed. The more Snape knew, the more ashamed Harry felt. After long quiet moments however, it seemed that Snape would wait all night for an answer, and Harry said, "Because you were going to kick me out eventually, and I needed it."

Severus swallowed, although Harry didn't see because he was too busy examining the floor.

"You believed I would withhold it from you?"

Harry nodded, and Severus scanned the fruit on the bed again as well as the apple clutched protectively to the boy's stomach. "And the fruit?"

Now the boy's face turned red and he could tell he was ashamed. When he didn't answer, Severus said, "Remove your shirt so that I can apply the balm to your back. Then you may take the potion."

Harry looked up. "Sir?" His voice was still uneven... unsure.

"Do as I say and you may keep the balm with you."

Harry thought on it briefly and then removed his shirt, allowing the balm to be smeared over his bruises. Snape did as he promised and gave Harry the potion, and then closed the door and left the room.

Confused, Harry lay back on the bed. How had they gone from such mayhem to such calm so fast? Harry looked at the apple in his hand in the darkened room and placed it back in his bag, feeling like his life was upside down. He had been hurt and in need, and Snape had helped. He had lost his secrets, and Snape had kept them. He had lied outright, and the man had not beaten or punished him. He hadn't even kicked him out.

Harry lay down and rolled onto his side, hugging himself for comfort. This must all be a dream he thought. How could it not be?

* * *

Harry's real dreams sounded like an alarm in the dead of night. Severus was pulled from a troubling dream himself by the screams of terror coming from the next room. Harry was rolling around on the bed trying to defend himself from a dream attacker, and very aware of the sore jaw he had from the night before when Harry had accidentally smacked him in his sleep, Severus pondered how to wake the boy. Finally he decided on putting a body bind on him before moving close enough to shake him from his sleep.

Harry startled and Severus lifted the body bind so that the boy could move.

"Obviously the dose is still too low. What are you dreaming about?"

Harry hugged himself in much the same way he had done while falling asleep, and refused to look up at his professor.

"You are already well over your safe dosage for this potion Potter. If I give you any more it may do your body damage."

After a moment of thought, Harry said, "I think it helped a little. I don't think I dreamed for all that time... just right at the end."

"And the dreams involved?"

His face turned red. Usually they were back and forth between Voldemort and Uncle Vernon, sometimes even Dudley. Tonight it had been Snape beating him until he cowered and cried.

"Usually somebody trying to hurt me," Harry finally settled on, not sure why he was answering the man at all.

"Such as?"

Harry swallowed. Occlumency lessons had not gone well last year, and he feared he would be forced into them again if he mentioned Voldemort. He already felt bad about lying earlier with all that Snape had done to help him so far, so he swallowed and took the chance.

"Voldemort," he said coldly, trying to swallow back his emotions. "And my uncle. Sometimes both." He chanced a glance up at Snape and received a calculating look in return.

"You have been unable to occlude your mind before sleeping?"

"All I can think about is being exhausted and how I won't get any sleep if I try."

"Come out into the living room."

Snape walked out the door and Harry sat there on the bed dumbly, wondering what the man intended to do. He didn't fancy getting something thrown at him again if he failed at occlumency.

Finally deciding that he had to do something if the potion wasn't going to get the job done, he rose and walked out to the living room in bare feet, grateful that the floor was carpeted and not overly cold.

Snape was sitting in a leather chair by the cold fireplace, waiting calmly, and Harry took the seat across from him.

"You described your dreams sometimes intermingling. How often does this happen?"

Harry swallowed and fidgeted with his fingers. "More often than not," he said quietly.

"And how do they start?"

He felt queasy at the thought of divulging yet more information to this man, but knew how persistent he could be if he chose to and didn't have the energy to do the delicate dance of avoidance just at the moment.

"Usually with my uncle... then it changes to Voldemort half way through. He watches and laughs before joining in."

Snape was thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "He may be breaching your mind when you are most vulnerable to attack. He may also be sifting through your worst memories in order to deprive you of sleep and weaken you."

Harry scratched the back of his head. "I don't know how to keep him out."

After an unbearable length of silence, Harry felt he had to look up to see what was going on, and Snape was looking right at him. "Do you want to get the dark lord out of your mind?"

Harry nodded.

"If I attempt to teach you occlumency once again, will you apply yourself with that in mind?"

Harry frowned but nodded.

"Occlude your mind now then. When you are ready, give me a sign so that we can start. You will force me out of your mind by keeping it clear and by pushing against my mind with your own. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded a third time and then closed his eyes. The images that met him were those of his most recent nightmare. Snape had him cornered in some dark, secluded part of the castle and was wailing on him relentlessly, telling him how worthless he was. Then there was Voldemort in a shadow, laughing and jeering and egging Snape on.

"I said clear your mind Potter, not dwell on what you do not wish me to see."

Harry's eyes popped open and he looked across the few feet to Snape.

"How can you tell?"

"You are biting your lip and fidgeting. Your face does not express a calm emptiness, but rather an unpleasant thought process. Try again. Do not think of what you do not wish me to see."

Harry's heart was pounding now for some reason he couldn't pin down. This wasn't fair. He'd never get this and before the night was out the man before him was bound to see Harry's fears.

He cast his mind around for an image that was anything but Snape beating him, and the only thing he could think of was the castle. He imagined flying around the castle on his broom, the wind whipping through his hair, calming his nerves and the pure joy of flight that always seemed to set him back on balance when his nerves were frayed.

Feeling calm at last, and far away from where he didn't want to be, Harry lifted his hand a little as a sign he was ready. It was a few moments before he could feel Snape in his mind, trying to prize away his calm serenity.

Harry imagined some new moves he'd been trying to master on his broom, and when he felt Snape peeling back the layers of his emotions he glanced up at the castle to steady himself and give him a sense of location, as he often did when he was out flying. This turned out to be a mistake however as Snape used it as a way to gain entrance to memories involving the castle, and now they were inside the entrance hall and flying up the stairs towards some unknown part of it.

Draco appeared out of nowhere and tripped Harry, sending his book bag flying as people around him laughed, and Harry tried to imagine being back outside again, panicking because this had happened a few days before.

They were still working their way up through the castle and now they were in an empty classroom where Harry was standing nervously facing down his Potions Master who had just discovered him sleeping. Harry felt very intimidated then and his remaining defense crumbled, and they were in a dark corridor, Snape telling him in a variety of ways how worthless he was as he beat him down time and again.

Harry struggled to get away but the taunts struck him down each time and soon he believed it himself. Then it wasn't Snape standing there anymore, but uncle Vernon with a belt, and they were in Privet Drive. Harry was being punished for his worthlessness, and being told how undeserving he was of kindness, love, and respect. Unwilling to move to help himself anymore, Harry lay there and took it, trying only to stem the flow of tears else he prove his uncle's point of how weak he was.

It was at this point that Severus backed out of Harry's mind of his own accord, a little startled at seeing himself compared to such a brutal man in the boy's eyes. Harry sat on the other side of the fireplace, breathing heavily and trying to master his emotions, failing miserably as a few tears escaped and tattled all the way down his cheeks.

Harry stood then and wiped furiously at his eyes. Words choked, he said, "I can't do this. I can't. I can't," and he hurried quickly back to the guest room and shut the door heavily.

Severus remained sitting by the cold hearth, aware now that he had only contributed to the boy's problems in the past and had only contributed to his self-image as a worthless weakling undeserving of basic human needs. He rubbed his temple and sighed heavily.

What have you done you inane fool, he thought to himself. You have set a child up for failure, much as your own father did. And now you must fix it, much as your father would not.

"Mr. Malfoy, what do you think you are accomplishing by tossing Bicorn Gob into Mr. Potter's cauldron?"

"Sir?" Draco's eyes were confused and panicked once he realized just how hard Severus was gripping him.

"Answer the question Mr. Malfoy, or we will be here all day until you do."

Draco knew better than to lie to his godfather. He knew full well that his father had given his head of house full rights to punish him as he saw fit until he was the perfect young heir his parent's envisioned him to be. He swallowed hard and said hesitantly, "I was trying to mess it up sir."

Severus released Draco's wrist and strode to the front of the room where he beckoned Draco to stand in front of the blackboard, chalk held out for him to take.

Draco moved like molasses, and Severus fought himself to hold in a sneer. "Lines Mr. Malfoy, until the end of class.

"What am I to write sir?" he asked, turning pale as his classmates started to snicker behind his back. Severus noted that Potter looked positively pale as well.

"I'm to keep my ingredients to myself. I owe Mr. Potter an apology."

"Yes sir."

Draco set to work, again as slow as a sloth, and Severus cleared his throat before clarifying that if there weren't at least fifty lines by the end of class in forty minutes that Draco would be serving detention with Filch that night. Draco quickened his pace, neck and ears turning red, and Severus sat down at his desk, ignoring the looks of awe he was receiving.

"Move to Mr. Malfoy's cauldron Potter and continue his potion. Malfoy will be turning yours in for a grade since he added some of his ingredients to it."

Ron shot Harry an amazed look and Harry got up and crossed the isle to sit next to Pansy, who looked more than irritated.

"Waste of space," Pansy said under her breath, and Severus looked up to notice Potter turning red as well.

This was going to be harder than he thought. Getting the boy to think higher of himself and his needs couldn't just rely on one man's actions. At least it's a start, he thought, and went back to watching Draco write lines.

* * *

"Severus, wait up!"

He turned to see Minerva hurrying after him out of the Great Hall after lunch. He glanced around and noted that the Entrance Hall was empty aside from them because the students were still eating before their next round of classes.

"I've been meaning to speak to you about Potter's detentions."

He stood up straighter, narrowing his eyes, uncomfortably aware of what she was going to ask him. "In such a manner that you intend I should no longer punish him in a way he deserves?"

"You must have seen how hard he tries to stay awake during class. He's obviously having trouble sleeping and detention isn't helping."

"And he has been complaining of long nights spent in the dungeons?"

"No, but surely you can't expect him to keep up with his homework with detention every night?"

"Has he been falling behind on his work?"

"Not that I'm aware of Severus, but you're missing the point."

"I believe you are missing the point Minerva," he said.

"Regardless of personal issues or school work, he broke rules and will now pay the consequences. I myself have noticed improved alertness during class hours from the boy. Obviously he was only staying up too late and is now learning to sleep in what time is given him."

"And how is that, with you keeping him all night?"

"He has free periods between classes, does he not? And I do not keep him all night. If he does not return to his dormitory after I release him than it is further evidence that he needs to be punished in order that the lesson should sink in. Good day."

Here he strode away and down into the dungeons, wondering if he would get a chance to speak to Harry before his head of house caught up with him and started asking questions about where he went after detentions. Severus was not aware that Harry already knew, because he had been listening from the second floor, where he sat alone studying. Even McGonagall didn't see him as she strode by, deep in her own thoughts.

Harry frowned at what had transpired. Confronted with someone seeking the truth, Snape had lied to keep his secrets. He had even lied to give Harry more time to adjust to the potion and find a way to sleep through the night. He didn't deserve that kind of kindness, so why was he getting it?

* * *

Severus was surprised to find numerous new bruises on Harry's back and side that evening as he held the tin of bruise balm in his hand, ready to apply it. The old bruises were almost invisible now, but here were at least five new ones.

"What has happened to you?"

Harry turned red and rubbed the back of his neck. "Crabbe and Goyle happened to me," he said uncomfortably, wondering if the thing with Draco in class that morning had just been a fluke.

"Explain."

"They were pissed about me getting Draco in trouble so they shoved me down some steps outside the library."

"You did not get Mr. Malfoy in trouble," Severus said as he began applying the bruise balm again, Harry reacting by pulling away slightly as the tender areas were touched with the cold cream. "He was caught in wrongdoing and paid the price."

"Yeah well apparently his goons think lines are worth half a dozen stairs."

Severus sighed and handed over the tin so that Harry could take care of the bruises on his stomach and arms himself. "Lines were worse than detention for Mr. Malfoy because it was a public display of punishment. He was embarrassed and the lesson will stay with him longer."

"Yeah, well how come I never get lines? You think I think I'm so great, so lines should be just right to embarrass me into submission."

Severus noted the foul mood of the teenager and decided to discard his own negative reaction to it. In truth he didn't know why he'd never given the boy public lines when he had in fact thought of the boy as an attention-seeking brat, much as Draco often was. Perhaps somewhere deep down he never truly believed that about the boy.

"I do not think that about you any longer. When you're done with the salve do your homework and take the potion I measured out for you on the nightstand. Be sure to occlude your mind before you try sleeping." He rose and left the room and Harry sat there for a few minutes thinking before he continued to rub the salve onto his arms. Had Snape just tried to reassure him that something wasn't his fault? It obviously was, because if he had been paying attention than Draco wouldn't have gotten one over on him. Harry closed his eyes and shook his head sitting in silence for a moment before pulling out his books and quill and setting to work on a nasty essay for History of Magic.

It was only ten minutes before Snape opened the bedroom door without warning and said hurriedly, "Go to dungeon A and start scrubbing the floors, now."

"Why, what have I-"

"Nothing. Mr. Weasley has just been caught sneaking around and I'm about to give him detention where he will see you scrubbing floors. Now go."

Harry pulled his sneakers back on and hurried out of the quarters and down the hall to the supply closet where he grabbed a bucket and some rags and ran to classroom A, one of the smaller rooms. He filled the bucket with water with his wand and began splashing some water around in various areas, wiping them up quickly with the rags to make it look like he'd been cleaning for an hour already.

It was only a few moments before Ron entered the room cussing and muttering and explained to Harry how he'd come down looking to sneak him out of detention but he'd been caught by a seventh year Prefect and been hauled to Snape's office for a good chewing.

"It was like he chewed me up and spit me back out again. Evil he is. I tried to explain that I'd forgotten something but he'd have nothing of it. Rotten to the core."

Harry tried to nod in agreement but was having a hard time with it. Snape seemed awful nice lately. Perhaps he had always been nice and Harry had just always deserved to be treated so poorly. He had seen the man give out just detentions before anyhow, case in point Draco with the lines.

"At least Crabbe and Goyle got in trouble too," Ron said with a grin of satisfaction. "They got chewed out right after I left. I hung around in the hall for a minute listening before I heard someone coming and had to haul my arse here."

"Crabbe and Goyle got in trouble? What for?"

"For shoving you I guess. Seems that another professor saw it happen and tattled. Made it so he had to give them detention. They're scrubbing dungeon D right now."

"Well it ought to be clean enough already," Harry said, remembering that he'd supposedly been having detentions for almost a week now. "I scrubbed it enough times."

Harry stood up, body hurting from the new assault it had received from being hurtled down the stairs, and yawned. He'd already taken the dreamless sleep potion and wanted to go to bed and make what little use of it he could.

"I clean really well so Snape doesn't usually come back to check on me for a long while," Harry said. "I can usually snag a nap after I mop once and I set up charms in the hall to let me know he's coming."

"Smart," Ron said picking up a mop and wetting it in the bucket. "Too bad Fred and George hadn't thought of that before. But maybe he sat and watched them the whole time."

"Yeah." Harry had just leaned against the desk and crossed his arms when the door flew open and the Slytherin Prefect who had caught Ron sneaking around stood there looking smug.

"Slacking are we Potter? Better come with me so Professor Snape can put you to better use. I think he had some slugs that needed pickling."

"Wait," Ron said, holding up his hand. "I was slacking too."

The Prefect smirked. "Nice one Weasley, but the floor is all wet and you're holding the mop. Get back to work."

Ron scowled as the older boy lead Harry away. After being deposited into Snape's office unceremoniously, the Prefect was told to patrol the second and third floors and was dismissed.

"Go back to my quarters and finish your homework Potter," Snape said sounding tired.

"But Ron-"

"Is serving detention for wandering the halls at night, and now I must stay in my office until I release him."

"What will you tell him when you let him go without me?"

"That you are writing an essay in my office about slacking, and until it is satisfactory you will be staying there to finish it. Now go before I change my mind and make you write the essay to give him as proof."

"Yes sir," Harry said, turning to leave.

"But sir, what's the password?" Harry turned back around, realizing that until now Snape had always let him in by saying the password very quietly so that Harry couldn't hear it.

"Gryffindor."

"Seriously? But why would you-"

"Can you imagine anybody figuring out that password if they were to try sneaking into my quarters? No. Now off with you." He grabbed a stack of papers that needed grading and Harry moved off.

Sure enough, the password was Gryffindor, and he was admitted into the quarters, curious that he now held a valuable and well guarded secret of Snape's. Did he really trust Harry that much to give the password to him? No, he couldn't. Perhaps he'd change the password in the morning.

The next evening however when Harry was sent to Snape's quarters by himself because Snape had to stay to supervise detention again, Harry was surprised to find that the password was still the same. He was rattled by it and he wasn't sure why, which lead to another broken and uneasy sleep, where a faceless enemy taunted him and handed over legal papers to the Headmaster that proved how worthless Harry truly was.

"You have to eat," Hermione reminded him.

"No I don't," he said.

"Harry, you'll be hungry later," she pleaded.

"You're not my mother." His voice was deadpan and uninterested. Why was everyone taking such an interest in him? He didn't deserve it.

"Harry you-"

He stood up and grabbed his book bag, ignoring her as he walked away. He grabbed an apple on the way out and stuffed it into his bag when he was in the Entrance Hall, just in case, he told himself, even if he wasn't hungry.

For once his day seemed void of emotion. No anger at Draco or his cronies, no curiosity over Snape's actions, no panic over dreams or sleeplessness, no nothing, just one event after another until it was time to go back to the Dungeons, where his life was upside down. That was when things started happening, and Harry felt like he was finally waking up that day, albeit very late in the game.

Harry didn't feel like doing homework, so he lay on Snape's guest bed with the door closed staring at the ceiling, wondering why Snape hadn't kicked him out yet and when it would happen.

There was a knock on the door around eight o'clock and Snape entered with the potion and a new tin of bruise balm as the previous tin had run out already.

"Those new bruises should be gone soon because we got the balm on when they were fresh. Tonight will probably be the last application." He unscrewed the lid and waited for Harry to sit up and lift his shirt up so that Snape could put the bruise balm on his back. Harry did no such thing however and Snape raised a brow.

"Did you hear me Potter?"

"I heard."

"And you're choosing to ignore me because you want to... what?"

"I'm not in the mood. Just leave."

Harry rolled over to face away from his Professor and Severus stood there staring at his back.

It was a few moments before he said, "Explain to me Mr. Potter how you are not in the mood to heal your body while sleeping in my guest bed, in my home, while taking my time up to ignore me."

Suddenly there was a spark of something in Harry's heart and he realized it was the rush he always got when uncle Vernon was about to pummel him for saying something stupid.

"Don't feel like it," he said, sure he knew what was coming next, however painful it might be.

"Sit up Mr. Potter, and look at me."

Harry didn't move for a moment, and waited to be told to get the hell out. The command didn't come however and he was irritated suddenly because he was sure he could feel the man's stare burning holes in his back.

"Harry-"

Suddenly Harry sat up and spun around at the use of his first name and shouted, "Stop! Just stop! I hate you! I hate how fake you are! Did Dumbledore put you up to this?" He stood up and strode out of the room, but before he could make the front door to the quarters, a hand had a firm grasp around his wrist, albeit not painfully.

"Sit down on the couch," Snape said, words coming out smoothly and with no hint of anger. This only seemed to enrage Harry.

"NO! Let go of me! I don't want you to touch me!" He tried prying Snape's fingers from his wrist, but they weren't budging, and he suddenly wondered at the strength of the man.

"You need the potion and the balm. If you don't use the potion here you will have to go to the Hospital Wing," he said calmly.

"I don't want your help," Harry pushed out through gritted teeth, still trying to prize off the fingers. "You're being too nice to me. Just toss me out already."

Snape released Harry's wrist then and Harry stumbled backwards, barely managing to catch himself from falling.

"What did you say?"

Harry stared at the floor as he cast around his mind frantically for whatever he had said to make the man let go of him. "What, what do you mean?" He was confused. He couldn't remember what he had said.

"You said I was being too nice to you and that I should toss you out already. Is that what you want? You're not used to somebody being nice to you so you want me to throw you out?"

Harry shook his head, no, no, that sounded ridiculous, he thought. Everybody wants people to be nice to them. He wanted people to be nice to him.

"I didn't say that," Harry said. "You're being stupid."

Severus remembered what he had seen in the boy's mind; memories of him being called worthless... memories of him giving up.

"You do want me to be mean to you," he said in realization, and Harry shook his head. "Yes you do, because that's what you know. You think that because people treated you like that you deserve it, and something must be wrong if somebody's treating you kindly."

Harry was shaking his head with fervor now, looking away. "No, you're crazy."

"Why else would you say things you know will most likely make me angry when you need the potion and balm? I've seen how you take steps to protect yourself Potter, keeping food with you, ensuring you had the balm, so I know something's wrong when you separate yourself from things you need."

He started backing away, breathing hard and Severus was worried he'd pushed the boy over the edge and into a panic attack, so he gave the boy a moment to calm down.

"It's true, isn't it? You think you deserve it."

Harry didn't respond this time, but kept breathing erratically.

"You don't deserve to be treated like that Harry. You're human and you deserve to be treated like one."

Harry was shaking his head again now, but for a different reason. "Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. Just, just stay back." He held his hand out to stop him as Severus took a few steps closer.

"I- I don't- you don't, you don't know. That's crazy what you're saying."

"But it's true. You deserve to be treated kindly."

"Just, just stop-" he said it meekly and Severus could see that the boy was running out of steam. He stepped up closer to the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry's breath hitched and he choked out, "I don't know how to believe you," and then his walls came crashing down as he sobbed hard and fell into Severus' chest, burying his face in his black shirt.

Surprised, Severus' first inclination was to step back. He hadn't meant to push the boy this far to get him to acknowledge his feelings, and it had been a rare occasion when he'd had to deal with somebody crying near him.

Looking down at the boy's mop of black hair however reminded him of another time long ago when a red haired girl he loved saw fit to cry on his shoulder over her own woes, and he let his guard fall, unable to see Harry crying without being affected.

Severus maneuvered the boy to the couch and sat down with him, arm wrapped tightly around his shoulder as he cried, finally letting all of his hurt out for the world to see.

"You deserve to be treated right," Severus repeated, "and to have others acknowledge that."

It was another fifteen minutes before Harry stopped crying, and another ten before Severus looked down to see the teen fast asleep. Unwilling to wake the child who so desperately needed the rest, he sat that way for another hour before a cramp in his leg forced him up off the couch. He lay the boy down and conjured a blanket to cover him, as well as a fire in the grate to warm the living room. Miraculously, without the potion, the boy slept through the night.

A second set of new emotions also plagued him. Previously he had dreamed of parents coming to his rescue, but instead it had been Snape. Snape was the one who had taken him in, kept his secrets, and taken care of him... healed his wounds. Snape was the one who held him tight as he cried, and told him sweet things: of how he was not worthless; how he deserved kindness and love. Harry didn't know what to think about his dream coming true in this way. Snape hated him... or at least he used to. And Harry hated Snape. That was just the way it was supposed to be, wasn't it? He wasn't so sure anymore.

Out of all of the other adults in the castle, it was Snape that had helped him. How many times had he told Dumbledore about his home situation, and the man hadn't believed him? How many times had he hinted to Professor McGonagall, and even Professor Sprout, and they hadn't looked into it any further. Even Hagrid had to know, since he had addressed the letter to the cupboard under the stairs, and eventually had to come find Harry on a rock in the middle of the sea. And yet Snape learned of the abuse and took action right away. Even when Harry had been a prat, Snape hadn't chucked him out on his arse as Harry was sure so many others would have.

Harry sighed, one arm behind his head as he lay in the darkened living room. His watch read 7:30 am, and he was sure it would be light out by now, but there were no windows in Snape's Dungeon Suite to let the light in. Hm, Harry mused. Maybe that's why he was so snarky all the time. I would be too if I couldn't see outside.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway, followed by the dim hall light flickering on drew Harry to tilt his head backwards further and look upside down at the groggy man in day old robes shuffling into the kitchen. He didn't seem to notice Harry. Maybe he had already forgotten about the night before.

As Harry listened to what sounded like coffee percolating in the kitchen, along with Snape banging around in cupboards looking for something to eat, Harry wasn't sure if he wanted the man to forget about the previous night or not. On the one hand, it was fairly embarrassing being so childish and pushing him away, especially getting caught, and on the other, it was nice to have someone to calm his nerves and bring him back down to reality. That was something previously reserved for himself, and sometimes Ron... and Ginny on occasion. For the most part he didn't let them into his personal feelings however, and was left feeling completely isolated for his troubles.

Harry pushed himself up off the couch, feeling very well rested for the first time in so long, and quietly made his way into the kitchen, where Snape was cursing because he'd burned the fried eggs and on top of that, they had broken when he'd tried to flip them.

"Maybe they'd be better vanished," Harry observed, wondering whether to feel anxious or awkward, but unable to summon those feelings at all.

Severus turned to eye the boy next to him who was peering into the pan. He wasn't used to having other people in his home, and up until this point this person, Harry, had not been allowed anywhere but the spare room and the bathroom. He had not forgotten about the night before however, and felt more awkward than the boy looked calm.

"And I suppose you could do better Mr. Potter?"

Harry pulled his wand from his jean pocket and vanished the eggs to a stern look from Snape, but ignored him as he set to work cracking four eggs into the pan, and mixing them up as if he were going to scramble them.

"If I wanted scrambled eggs, I would have done it myself," Snape observed, unaccustomed to feeling awkward and deciding to combat it with sarcasm.

"Why don't you just eat upstairs anyhow?" Harry asked, spotting some salt and pepper and sprinkling some into the pan.

"Sometimes I prefer to eat in solitude, away from little nuisances such as- Potter what on earth are you doing to my eggs?"

"Frying them," Harry said with a frown, wondering if he'd done something wrong.

"You have already broken and mixed them for a scramble."

Harry shook his head and used the metal spatula to cut the eggs in the pan in half and flip each half over. "No I haven't. They'll turn out fried but this way the taste is even and they won't break when I flip them over."

"Hm." Snape observed, and Harry was happy to see curiosity replace the look of disdain as the man moved to pour himself some coffee from the Muggle coffee pot that had no cord.

When Harry was done he served Snape's half of the eggs onto one plate, and used his wand to summon two slices of bread and a slice of cheese for himself, and made his eggs into a sandwich.

Standing at the kitchen counter because there was no dining table or chairs, Harry bit into his sandwich and savored the flavor. It would have been better with a spread like Mayo, but he wasn't going to complain.

"Well?" He asked, as Snape stood at the counter on the other side of the sink and ate his eggs in silence.

"Well what Potter?"

"Are they terrible?"

"They are better than the others would have been burned."

Harry gave a small smile and shook his head. It was as close to a compliment as he was going to get, and more than the Dursleys had ever said in favor of his cooking. The one exception was the time Dudley had come down the stairs, not realizing that Harry had cooked that morning, told his mother that it was the best breakfast she'd ever cooked, and watched in surprise as she grabbed Harry by the back of his shirt and threw him out into the snow, to spend Christmas outside.

"So much thought over one comment Potter?"

Harry's head snapped up, and he took a bite of his almost cold sandwich just to fill his mouth so he wouldn't have to answer.

Snape didn't ask again, and instead disappeared out of the kitchen, back down the hallway and into the bathroom, where he re-emerged fifteen minutes later showered and dressed in fresh robes, read for the day.

"You'd better get to class," he observed, and Harry nodded, suddenly not wanting to leave the quarters. Snape's suite wasn't like Gryffindor common room, where everything was patched and frayed, faded and old, just like most of Harry's possessions. And despite having no windows, Harry still felt comfortable there.

Finally picking up his book bag off the living room floor, where it had been dropped the night before, Harry headed for the front door.

"Potter."

Harry stopped and turned back.

"Did you dream last night?"

Harry shook his head, and Severus felt his suspicions were confirmed. It was probably more emotional issues than it was Voldemort trying to breach the boy's mind.

"I do not believe you need the potion any longer. You did not have it last night, and slept well. You would do well to return to Gryffindor tower this evening instead of coming here. People may be getting suspicious."

Suddenly unsettled again, Harry bit his lip, but nodded anyway, before walking out.

Harry couldn't concentrate through Charms that morning, or through Transfiguration. It must be my fault, he thought. I broke down and now he doesn't want to deal with me anymore. I knew he'd chuck me out, I just didn't think it would be for this.

He was quite sure he wouldn't be able to sleep that night without the potion, but was surprised when he slept soundly through until morning, and did the same the next night, and the next. Puzzled, Harry wondered if perhaps the potion when taken night after night would stay in his system for a while. Despite being able to sleep normally again however, he still felt unsettled about being told not to come back.

* * *

"Ugh." Harry hit the frozen grass hard as he completed his unceremonious tumble down the front steps leading out of the castle. Dazed in the crisp morning air, he looked up to see Goyle standing at the top of the steps with a big grin on his face. Well that would explain it then, Harry thought, because he didn't think he'd fallen of his own accord.

Elbow and side sore from where he landed, he stood up and ignored Goyle as he brushed himself off and continued on down to Care of Magical creatures by himself. He was late and most of the rest of the class was already down there. This was the second sleepless night in a row he'd had now, and hoped desperately that this wouldn't continue again. He'd gotten almost a week and a half of good sleep without nasty dreams chasing him through the night, and was disappointed that they had come back in full force.

Hermione gave him a reproachful look as he showed up fifteen minutes late, but he tried to ignore it as he busied himself instead with pulling out his book and homework, and flipped through to the page Hagrid was talking about.

On the way back to the castle from class, Pansy shoved into him just enough for Harry's foot to catch on a rock in the dirt and send him flying, to much laughter from Draco and the other Slytherins gathered. Pansy just gave him a smug look as she walked on, not even bothering to stop and laugh.

"Pratt," Ron shouted while Harry picked himself up for the second time that morning and glared in Pansy's direction.

"Did I do something to piss them off lately?" Harry asked, and Ron shrugged.

"Don't know, why?"

"Goyle shoved me down the stairs on the way here."

"They're just jerks," Ron said. "We'll get them back. Fred and George sent me their new line of dung bombs. I have three super skunks, guaranteed not to come off for days, and two puke patties, bad enough to make anyone throw up."

"Oh Ronald," Hermione said with a stern look. "That's not the way to deal with it."

"Show's what you know," he said. "If I just find a way to get one to their table at dinner then we'll have the entire house losing their meal all over the place."

Hermione gave him a disgusted look and then hurried up to walk with Lavender and Parvati, determined not to be involved in such a prank.

Harry had to agree with Ron though, when two seventh year Slytherins teamed up to smash Harry into a corridor wall so hard he thought for sure he'd dislocated his shoulder, followed by Theodore Nott tying his shoelaces together by wand in Charms class and sending him to the floor when he got up to fetch the book that had fallen from his desk.

By Friday, Harry was so bruised from being shoved, slammed, pushed, and pranked that he thought he'd had a trip home to Privet Drive. On top of that, he was going on five days of sleeplessness again, and was quite ready to snap at any moment.

It was very unfortunate for Harry that Professor McGonagall happened upon him at that moment Saturday evening just after Goyle had tripped him in the corridor and Harry had gone sprawling again. McGonagall didn't see the part where Harry had been provoked, only the part where he had abandoned his wand to give a stunned Goyle a piece of his own medicine. So tired and upset was Harry that when Professor McGonagall came around the corner, she found him pinning the larger Goyle down and hitting his bloody face repeatedly while he cried for Harry to stop.

"Harry James Potter! Get off of him this very instant!"

Breathless, hurting and tired, Harry just wanted to crawl into a corner someplace and go to sleep for months, but knew he was in for a long lecture and possibly a night full of detention.

Harry stood quietly, not bothering to wipe the blood off his hands as he watched McGonagall cast a spell on the other sixth year boy to stop the bleeding and then sent him on his way to the Hospital Wing, still crying. Then she rounded on Harry, who was too tired to be angry.

"I don't even care at this point what the fight was about Mr. Potter. What you did was unacceptable and apprehensible and you will be serving a week's worth of detention with Mr. Filch for this, as well as losing 100 points from Gryffindor, is that understood?"

He wanted to cry at the nights of sleep he'd lose, but only sucked in a deep breath of air to stem the flow of tears, and nodded, looking down at the ground.

"Go and find him now then and give him this." She waved her wand and the tell tale pink detention slip appeared from thin air. "You are to serve from 7 pm to midnight each night, as well as write three feet of parchment on why violence is not allowed at this school."

Harry took the pink paper, and headed off down the hall with a subdued, "Yes maam."

Down two flights of stairs and after checking five supply closets, Harry had still not found Filch, and was feeling more sluggish than ever. He didn't know what he was going to do except start skipping classes again in order to get some sleep. He couldn't go back to Snape because he obviously didn't want him in his quarters anymore, or he wouldn't have kicked him out in the first place. The unfairness of the whole situation hadn't even crossed Harry's mind until he rounded another corner and bumped into Snape himself.

"Potter, what are you- why is there blood all over your hands and shirt?" His brows were knit together in concern.

"Do you know where Mr. Filch is sir," Harry asked weakly, head bowed and throat dry as he held up the pink parchment for Snape to see. Harry felt ashamed now too, that he had sunk to the level of the Slytherins who had been tormenting him all week.

"Why do you have detention Potter?"

Harry's breath hitched then and he was determined not to look up and reveal his wet eyes. He couldn't explain that the Slytherins had been damaging his body all week and he had finally gone bezerk on one of them.

"I beat up Goyle sir. I think I broke his nose and maybe his jaw and, and there was blood everywhere. Professor McGonagall..." he swallowed hard, trying to calm his breathing and failing. "She said she didn't care why, but I lost 100 points and got 7 night detentions."

Here Harry expected Snape to run off to the Hospital Wing to see how Goyle was doing, but instead he stayed put, and handed the pink parchment back to Harry, who took it and continued to look down and to the right.

"And why pray tell did you find it necessary to throttle someone nearly twice your size?"

So unsettled was Harry at this point to be asked his side of the story, that he looked up accidentally into his Professor's dark eyes and his bottom lip started to tremble. He turned slowly and lifted up the back of his shirt where he knew the man could see the damage his body had gone through that week, and then rolled up his sleeves to show his swollen, bruised arms.

"Gregory Goyle did all of that to you?"

Harry shook his head and pulled his sleeves back down again. "All of them. All of the sixth year Slytherins and some of the seventh, all week long they've been pushing me down and shoving me around. And when he tripped me and I fell I just flipped out. I didn't even know what I was doing until Professor McGonagall was shouting at me. I, I just want to go to bed, but I have all of these detentions now." He hated feeling so riled, so on the edge of breaking down again as he had the last night he'd spent in the Dungeons, but he couldn't help it.

"You have not been sleeping. For how long?"

"All week."

Snape eyed him closely, and then asked, "Do you want to sleep tonight?" Harry looked up and met his eyes again, and nodded, bottom lip still quivering. "Then do as I say and do not contradict me. Follow me."

He lead off and Harry followed, wondering where they were going, but back up two flights of stairs he was dismayed to find that they were nearing the Hospital Wing. Snape lead him inside and made him sit on a bed near the door, about seven beds away from where Goyle lay, still crying softly, and where Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall stood bent, tending to him.

When the door opened and Snape deposited Harry onto the bed, McGonagall stood straight and said sternly, "Mr. Potter, I was very clear that you were to find Mr. Filch. Why have you come here?"

"I found him collapsed on the second floor Minerva," Severus said nonchalantly, and then with a bit of a challenge, "apparently he had been beaten and could no longer stand of his own accord. I would have been remiss in my duty if I did not escort him here, would I not?"

Minerva's eyes widened and she hurried over. "What do you mean he's been beaten?"

Harry sniffled then, unable to help the indignation he felt at not even being asked for his side of the story.

"Take off your shirt Mr. Potter."

Madam Pomfrey came over now too and gasped at the bruising, scratches, and welts that covered Harry's torso and arms.

"My word, who did this to you?"

Harry ignored her and lay down on his side, back to McGonagall as his breath hitched again and he worked to calm himself.

"Am I to assume he received detention for retaliating against Mr. Goyle?" Severus inquired, and Minerva's look of certainty for her just punishment faltered. Harry didn't see it though, and he wasn't paying attention to anything that was being said, because he was fast asleep, grateful that he was not scrubbing toilets right now, and sure that Snape would sort things out.

"Finally awake Mr. Potter? I was reluctant to give you the dreamless sleep last night but apparently Professor Snape knew that you needed it if you've slept this long." Madam Pomfrey hurried over to Harry and ran a couple of diagnostic spells, giving him a warm smile that he did not return.

"Where is he?"

"Who dear? Professor Snape? In the dungeons I imagine. Last night after you went to sleep he made Mr. Goyle tell him everything and today he has nine detentions to oversee. I daresay the dungeons will be very clean after today."

Harry rubbed his eye again. "Oh. Do I still have detention tonight?"

"I'm afraid so, although Minerva did say that you only have one instead of seven, and also that it is to be served with Professor Flitwick as soon as you wake up until dinner. I believe she said to tell you to forget about the essay as well."

Harry stood up and tested the strength in his legs before heading for the door.

"If you feel ill at all, come back. And don't wait to tell someone if you're being bullied around next time either," she reprimanded, but he was already out the door.

It was already four o'clock in the afternoon, and it took another fifteen minutes to locate Professor Flitwick. This would be his shortest detention ever, he thought, and wondered if the nine Slytherins who had been pushing him around over the past week had had all day detention or if theirs had been short as well.

After 45 minutes of dusting the Charms classroom, Harry was dismissed and he made his way down to dinner, where nine Slytherins were still missing from Slytherin table, and where many people were shooting Harry fast glances, as to assess the truth to whatever story they had heard.

"Are you all right Harry?" Ginny asked as he sat down next to her. Ron and Hermione were absent from dinner for some reason.

"Yeah," he grumbled, not feeling in the mood to talk about much of anything at this point. He piled some mashed potatoes onto his plate and began eating, too hungry to get much else onto his plate until he already had something in his stomach.

"It's true then? You beat up Goyle without a wand?" Harry nodded, and those seated around them looked at Harry in awe.

"I heard he just lay there and cried like a baby," said Dean, fishing for more information.

"Who said that?" Harry wondered if perhaps McGonagall had been saying more than was necessary.

"You beat him up right in front of the portrait of Roland the Third. He's been telling everyone who passes by of your bravery."

More like my crazy freak out, Harry thought, face turning red again. "It just happened," Harry said quietly, "and now it's over. Let's just forget about it."

"Ok, I'm just sayin', it's time they got some payback."

Harry was about to tell Dean to drop it again, but just then there was a small explosion across the hall, followed by billows of green smoke at Slytherin table at both ends. Harry turned just in time to see the Slytherins scattering and losing the contents of their stomach all over, which in turn started a chain reaction amongst other tables. Not wanting to lose what little food he had just eaten, Harry grabbed a dinner roll and a handful of baby carrots and left the Hall, many following behind him.

Not wanting to go back to the common room when it would surely be full of ill students, Harry headed instead for the dark, cool grounds and used the time to try and clear his head. He was feeling uncertain and still very empty.

Why should I feel empty, he asked himself. It's not like he'd ever had anyone before, and suddenly Snape brought about thoughts of emptiness, and strangely enough of missing James and Lily, even though he could never remember meeting them. He would give everything to have even just one of them back. He would give more to have them both. And strange enough, he could think of nothing he wouldn't give, to be able to sleep peacefully in the guest room in Snape's quarters again, feeling safe and calm. Truth be told, he wanted to hear the man's calming words to him again, of how he was worth something, how he deserved to be treated kindly.

After an hour, when it was too chilly to continue on without a jacket, Harry headed back inside. The situation seemed to be taken care of as the Entrance Hall was empty and there were no ill noises coming from the Great Hall. He was just at the foot of the stairs when a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist to retain him.

He looked over to find Snape. "Was it you?"

"Sir?"

"The dung bombs. Was it you?"

The hurt that displayed in the boy's eyes was unsettling to Severus, and he let go of Harry's wrist.

"I was in detention," he said quietly, and then went up the stairs, leaving a puzzled man behind.

When Harry was almost back to the common room, he heard a strange noise meant to get his attention, and found Ron hiding behind a large suite of armor.

"Is it all clear now?"

Harry nodded. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Me, Neville, and Collin Creevy."

"Why?"

"Well, we figured if you could stand up to them after what all they've done to you, then we should too."

Tired again, despite the long sleep he'd already had that day, Harry said, "Don't do that stuff because of me. People from other houses got sick too. Half the hall was throwing up, even some Gryffindors."

"Well they deserved it. Its just too bad Snape wasn't there to get sick too after all the detentions he's been giving you."

"Ron, just give it up," Harry said quietly. "Snape's been helping me with potion so I can sleep, and he's the reason I got out of a week's worth of detentions last night."

"What?" Ron said, unbelieving. "There's no way that git would help you. You must be delirious. He's a slimy, ratty, stupid old-" he stopped when Harry put a hand on his chest in warning to stop the tirade.

"I'm not joking," Harry said, "lay off."

Watching his friend carefully for a moment, Ron asked cautiously, "So what, he's you're head of house now?"

As he walked off, Harry said, "No. Just my friend."

Ron gave his back a disgusted look, but Harry didn't care, and kept walking.

If Ron thought Harry was a little off, Severus thought Harry volunteering to spend time with him was downright odd. After so many years of bitter hatred and feud, how could the boy possibly wish to spend time near him, even if the excuse he had given was homework? Severus couldn't see how it was possible, and yet he would not deny the boy the quiet space to study provided that he did not interrupt his own work. There was something about having the boy there that was calming, and this too was odd, because on any given instance previous to the boy staying in his quarters, he would have considered even the thought of him an annoyance, and the sight of him an aggravation.

Even as Severus thought on how odd the situation was, the boy sat silently on the other side of his desk highlighting with a red highlighter some text in his Transfiguration book, and marking notes down on his paper for an essay he was writing. This was the fourth night in a row he had come down to study, with a timid knock at the door and more need in his eyes than in his words. If Severus didn't know any better he'd have said the boy was lying about studying just to be in the dungeons with him. Ridiculous, he chastised himself mentally. The only person who's ever wanted to be near you was Lily, and you well ruined that didn't you, you stubborn fool.

"Sir?"

Severus looked up, glad to be brought from his own thoughts. "What is it Mr. Potter."

"Do you know anything about the tenth formation of crystalline structures? I can't find it in my book but it seems to relate to the fifth and first form that I'm supposed to be writing about." Normally he would have asked Hermione, because he was sure she'd know, or at least know where to look, but took more satisfaction being allowed to ask Snape instead.

Severus turned and perused the bookshelf behind him for a moment before pulling down a tattered brown book and opening it up to the contents. He then passed it over to Harry and said, "Page 34 Potter. I wouldn't want Professor McGonagall to accuse you of cheating if I gave you the answer."

Harry took the book and gave him an odd look, before saying thank you and starting to read and take notes again. While Severus wondered what the look had been about, Harry wondered that Snape cared if he got into trouble with other professors or not.

* * *

"Oy! Where were you today? You missed practice!"

Harry raised his brow. Shit, he had missed Quidditch practice, hadn't he, and he was the teams bloody Captain.

"What did you guys do?"

"I filled in for you, what else? Ginny coached the Chasers and I spent the day dodging rogue bludgers. Cormac thinks he's going to play in our game against Slytherin since you missed practice today."

"Oh," Harry said. He turned away from Ron in the corridor and pretended to be browsing over his newly finished Charms homework, but Ron came around to face him again, broom in hand and face covered in mud and stood with his arms crossed.

"Well, are you going to tell me? Where were you? You never miss practice."

"Not true, I missed all kinds of practices during second year."

"And?" Ron held his hands up. "I don't see or hear a rogue monster snake roaming around."

"I was doing homework." Harry held up his foot of parchment and said, "I'm ahead in all my classes for once. I am sorry I missed practice though." He was indeed sorry for the missed practice, but he wasn't sorry to have spent the afternoon in Snape's office, asking more questions than he really needed to about Charms and their interactions with certain classes of potions.

"You were down there, weren't you? In the dungeons."

"Yeah, doing homework."

"Why can't you do your homework in the tower like the rest of us? Hermione thinks you're cheating with the good grades you've been getting."

Harry sighed. "I'm not cheating, and Professor Snape has extra reference materials that the library doesn't, so I've been able to read more before writing essays. As for the tower, it's pretty noisy and-"

Ron held up his hand to forestall Harry and said, "Whatever. Lie if you want to, but I know the truth. You like spending time down there."

Harry stared at him. It was the truth, but how could he not deny it without Ron looking down on him? Harry turned and walked away.

"I don't know what's wrong with you Harry!" Ron shouted at his back. "But it's not natural!"

* * *

Severus was nervous. That was something new. He could usually temper his emotions enough to give himself peace of mind, but this day as he strode purposefully towards the Headmaster's office, he could not. He had seen the Weasley boy talking to his head of house as he'd passed in the hallway earlier that day, followed by a stern look from Minerva at dinnertime, and now he had been summoned by Albus. This had to be about Potter. Surely he hadn't told anyone about spending a week in his quarters?

Albus sat calmly behind his desk looking over several scrolls of parchment as Severus entered and said, "You wished to see me headmaster?"

"Ah yes, Severus, do have a seat won't you?"

He would prefer to stand, because he felt more in power if he was taller, but knew it was futile to argue with the man, who would wait him out patiently until he did as he was told. Sitting in the more comfortable of the two visitors chairs (the red one unfortunately), he waited to hear his fate.

"Minerva brought something interesting to my attention this evening. Apparently young Mr. Weasley claims he never sees his best friend anymore because he is with you. I told Minerva that she was surely mistaken, and she said that Mr. Weasley was adamant that it was the truth."

Severus crossed his arms and gave the old man a look that he himself had seen Potter give many times. It was the, ‘so what, and you're point is?' look of defiance that he often tried to crush out of pompous pupils.

"Ah, I see I was mistaken. Harry has been spending time with you then? Might I ask in what capacity?"

"He sits in my office and studies."

"As detention?"

"By choice."

"Hm." Albus sat back and laced his fingers together, thinking it over. "How very kind of you to let Mr. Potter study with you." He gave Severus a small smile that infuriated him.

"He's not studying with me!" He uncrossed his arms momentarily as he lost composure, and then gathered himself and crossed them again. "He reads for his classes and I... help, when needed."

"Is this why his grades have gone up in all of his classes? Minerva informs me that he has gone from E's to O's... and if I'm not mistaken, from a D in Potions to an E."

"It is no business of mine if he has chosen to become a model pupil Albus," Severus put in, but there was no real snark in his voice as there might otherwise have been. Albus smiled again and sat there quietly, knowing that Severus did not like to be on the receiving end of silence, and would eventually fill in his own answers.

"Was there a point you were trying to make Headmaster?"

"I was merely curious that Harry was choosing to spend his time with you after so many detentions. Minerva was worried that Mr. Potter had chosen you as his new head of house after she was ah, mistaken about his recent fight with Mr. Crabbe. And Mr. Weasley seemed to think there was something... unnatural going on."

Severus stood up and began to pace, angry again. "The only thing unnatural is the way everyone decides to stick their nose into my business!" he snapped out.

"Harry is your business?" There was that curious tone and inane smile once again. Severus stopped pacing and looked at Albus and the trap he had just walked into.

"I've been... looking after him. He has not been sleeping properly and I helped him with dreamless sleep for a little over a week."

"If I'm not mistaken, that entails close watch of whomever takes it until the dosage is correct?"

Severus nodded, lips thin as he pressed them together. The old man knew damn well what the potion entailed.

"Sit down Severus, before you pace a hole in my floor."

Feeling like a child again, Severus sat down and uncrossed his arms, feeling a little defeated. Albus always found out everything about everybody sooner or later, and it was a shame that this was the one man Severus could never keep all of his secrets from. Voldemort he could fool, students he could intimidate, staff he could ignore, but not Dumbledore.

"How long have we known each other Severus?"

Here we go, Severus thought. This is always how it starts. Look at all you've told me thus far, so you might as well tell me the rest. Fine, if that's how he wanted to play it, then he could entertain all of the confused ramblings of Severus' mind, which he'd had to endure by himself for almost two months now.

"25 years."

"And you still feel you cannot trust me?"

He sighed and stood up again, and did not fail to notice the look Albus gave him, telling him clearly that he knew something was bothering him.

"Perhaps I simply wish to hold to my own business without other people knowing, just for once," he said, and kept pacing.

"Would it not be better to have a second ear to help sort things out? Reluctant though you have always been, two minds have always proved better than one when trying to sort through things rather than doing so on your own. I can tell that you are unsettled by the way you continue to pace, and being that it has to do with Harry in some way, a pupil at this school, I'm afraid I must insist on discussing this."

With a tired look aimed at Dumbledore, Severus nearly collapsed back into the chair, and ran a hand through his shoulder length hair.

"I am... confused," he said, leaning forward, and looking down at his hands, which were now wringing themselves together. Drat, that was never a good sign when he couldn't even control his body language.

"About helping Harry?"

"No. I helped him because he needed the help, and was not receiving it from anyone else. That is my duty as staff, is it not?"

There was no response from Albus as he waited for Severus to continue on his own.

Continuing to wring his hands together, he said, "I do not understand the feelings I have towards him. When he is in my office studying, I am... content. When he is in danger I am anxious, when he's been slighted I am angry. I feel the need to protect him from himself and from the world."

He looked up at his superior, whose deep blue eyes were piercing through all the façade he'd thrown up since he'd come into the office, just as they always did.

"Was not that your promise to Lily? To protect him?"

Severus shook his head, ever more confused. "Not like this. Before it was... a task. A burden I did not want."

"And now?"

"Something I want to do. He's just a child and there has been nobody there for him his entire life... I enjoy being the one he has turned to for help."

Albus sat back now and smiled widely. "I believe I know what the issue is dear boy."

A weight of not knowing lifted from Severus momentarily to know that someone had the answer, but was replaced again when said answer was spoken to him. "You have parental feelings for Harry."

"I have what?" His voice was low and almost dangerous.

"It is not uncommon to enjoy being looked up to Severus, surely this is not the first time a student from your own house has come to you for advice or protection?"

"This is different. He's not in my house and I'm not required to do these things. It feels different."

"Indeed, I imagine it would. It would appear that he also has some of the same feelings towards you if he chooses to spend his free time with you... even missing Quidditch practice if I'm not mistaken."

"He missed - well what do I do then?"

No, that smile on the old man's face was too unsettling. How he could have a hundred different smiles that each meant something unique, he didn't know, but this was a new one.

"Spend more time with him. You may even consider taking him home for the upcoming holidays."

"Take... take him home?"

"I don't see why not. Harry spends each Christmas at the castle, many by himself, as do you, and I happen to know that both Miss Granger and the Weasley children will be leaving for the break next month, leaving Harry by himself once again."

As opposed as Severus might once have been to this idea, he could not deny that the idea of spending Christmas with the boy held some merit. He still wasn't sure why, but somehow not spending the holidays alone was a nice thought. God forbid but he thought he might even want to buy the brat a present.

"Because he has already chosen to stay at the castle for Christmas, I am his guardian for the holidays, and you have my blessing to take him home and give him a happy Christmas Severus."

Twenty minutes later, back in his own quarters once again, laying on his back on his own brown couch, staring at his own darkened ceiling, Severus tried to recall the entire conversation, and how it left him feeling ever more confused. How could he have parental feelings for someone that he had hated for so long? For a child that was not even his but the child of an enemy.

Something else didn't sit right either. When the Dursley's didn't have custody over Harry, Albus did, and he exercised it regardless of where Harry resided. With the man's hidden agenda's and grandiose plans of defeating the dark lord at Harry's expense, the boy never stood a chance.

Ron wasn't talking to him now, and that was probably part of why he didn't feel like putting on the happy face. One less person to fool. Hermione seemed worried about him but also wasn't talking to him on a normal basis, and Harry understood now thanks to Ron that it was because she believed he was cheating in order to get better grades. That just left Ginny. He gave her half hearted smiles when she asked him about the break, but that was all he could afford. It drained him to do it.

Harry had no idea that many floors below him in the Dungeons, the Potions Master paced feeling as confused and uncertain as Harry was feeling hopeless. He had permission to take Potter home... had in fact been making plans to take him away from the castle that had given him a rough term. And yet, he had not yet informed the child of his plans. If he were to be truthful with himself, he would admit that he was worried the boy didn't want to go with him.

Severus eyed the small gift wrapped box on the edge of the mantle. He'd gone as far as buying Harry a small present, hoping it would push him into asking if he wanted to spend Christmas with him. Well so much for that plan. Here it was two days until Christmas, and the rest of the students were departing this afternoon to go home for the holidays. Severus stopped pacing and eyed the box cautiously, as if there were a snake or scorpion inside, just waiting to lash out unexpectedly and bite or sting him. Life is cruel, he thought, deciding once and for all that he could not take the boy home with him. He could not risk opening himself up to the failure he knew he would be by letting the child further into his life. Just look at his father and the steps he'd already taken towards becoming him. No, he would not subject himself, or Harry to that.

* * *

Everybody was gone. Harry had a sinking suspicion that even Snape had gone home for the holidays already. Today was Christmas eve and like many of the other staff, Snape was missing from the Head table. McGonagall was there talking to professor Sprout, and down the table Trelawney was trying to eavesdrop, and earlier Harry had seen Dumbledore, but there was no sign of Snape. Harry had even gone down and knocked on his office door, but there had been no answer.

For the first time he could remember, Harry wondered if perhaps the man had a family to go home to. In the past it would have seemed impossible, because Harry had believed like most students that Snape was a cruel, intolerable man. Now Harry knew that he was not, and as he sat by himself at Gryffindor table, staring into his eggs, he imagined Snape at home with a wife and small children, preparing for the holidays. Harry wondered then what their names were, the kids Snape must have, and allowed himself a brief moment imagining himself there with them... imagining that he was just part of their family, loved and washed in an warmth of belonging.

Harry heaved a sigh. He couldn't think like that anymore. The truth was he wasn't part of their family... wasn't part of any family, not even the Weasleys. He was just Harry. Just one person, alone. Not feeling hungry, Harry grabbed an apple from the table and made no show of hiding it as he stood sullenly and made his way out of the Great Hall. He'd been losing sleep again, and feeling as though he could use a nap, he made for Gryffindor tower, where he dropped onto his bed, and felt more defeated than he had ever felt before.

* * *

"Potter. Potter!"

Harry started and looked up to find Snape standing above him with a briefcase in one hand.

"Sir?"

"Well, why aren't your things packed?"

"My- my things?"

"You'd better hurry. I leave in five minutes and if you expect to come you'll need clothing and personal belongings for two weeks."

Harry's eyes widened. He leapt from bed so quickly that Severus startled and took a hurried step back. At this point Harry didn't care where he was going, or that the man had such a strange way of inviting him along, but he would be ready in half the time. Severus took all of this into account as he watched Harry haphazardly throw clothing and a few books into his backpack along with his wand before standing still and expectant before him, bag slung over his shoulder.

Severus allowed his eyes to rake over the boy's wardrobe to be sure he had indeed packed enough to make it through the break, and wondered if he was doing the right thing. He'd wrestled with the decision and changed his mind enough times anyhow.

"Very well, come along," he said, and lead Harry down to the empty common room.

With a look around to be sure they were alone, Severus withdrew a pouch full of floo powder and offered it to Harry.

"24 Braeport, Dunblane," Severus said with a nod for Harry to step into the fireplace there in the middle of the common room.

Harry stepped in with his bag and repeated the address he'd been given, followed by the familiar nauseating spinning sensation as he was whisked away through the floo network. On the other side, Harry was quick to pick himself up from where he'd been spit out by the floo so that Snape wouldn't come through and trample him. A few moments later, his Professor was stepping out of the grate with far more grace than Harry had managed, and cast a careful look around his home, as if to assess that it was all still in order. Harry gave a look around as well, and knew immediately that he liked it here.

Unlike the dungeons, there was plenty of light filtering in through the windows, and the living room here felt unconfined. A car rambled by on the road out front and Harry raised his brows, interested that professor Snape lived in a distinctly Muggle neighborhood, and a nice one at that judging by the fronts of the other houses he spied out the window.

"There is a spare room upstairs that you may use," Severus said after clearing his throat. "It is the first door on the right. The bathroom is the second. I will prepare lunch while you unpack."

Harry nodded, and felt uncertain now that he was here as Snape moved off towards another part of the house. When he'd been staying in the man's quarters he was not allowed anywhere but his room and the bathroom, and that one time only, in the kitchen and living room. Now it seemed he was being invited to wander as he pleased. Well, not exactly, he reminded himself, he had been told to go put his things away.

Climbing the stairs, Harry found what he believed was his bedroom and opened the door gently. There was a twin bed, a closet, and a desk and chair in front of the window. Dropping his bag on the bed Harry hurried over to his window to get a better look at his surroundings. His initial assessment of the neighborhood was correct. They were in the hills and the homes seemed to grow nicer the further up the hill his eyes climbed. Even the Dursleys would want to live here.

Going back to his bag, he began to empty it with the thought that he did not live here. He did in fact, live with the Dursleys, in the cupboard under the stairs, or more accurately, in the shed in the back yard. At least this Christmas would be a happy one, he hoped, the first in his remembrance. It was already looking brighter than he had expected, and he cast an appreciative look to the window again.

He put his few belongings in the closet and despite the lack of hangers, was determined not to let anything dampen his mood, even the awkward feeling that kept trying to creep up on him. The make believe family he had made up for Snape back at Hogwarts was nowhere to be seen, and yet, here Harry was. Had he somehow wished himself here? Was he still dreaming?

After sitting on his bed quietly for twenty minutes, Harry smelled something good floating up the stairs and decided to investigate what was for lunch.

The kitchen through a door on the other side of the living room, and there was a small table at the back with two chairs.

"Do you like Spam?" Severus asked as he had finished plating two fried spam sandwiches with crisps.

"Yes," was the automatic response that tumbled from his mouth, when in reality the answer was no. Snape smiled then, a rarity Harry was sure, as he set the plates down, and Harry sat down at the table. Aunt Petunia had often fed him spam straight from the can, and on the rare occasions when she'd given it to him fried, he'd still hated it as he'd watched Dudley wolf down fried chicken or steak or any number of other more appetizing meats. He did not want to say anything that might anger his Professor however, because Harry could see the man had taken care in fixing lunch for him. To be honest he was still quite afraid that the man would get angry with him and kick him out at some point. While it was a certainty staying with him at Hogwarts, it was a fear now, especially considering that he did not know exactly where Dunblane was, or just how he would get back to Hogwarts if he were thrown out. It was more than that though... Harry wanted to please the man in front of him... wanted not to disappoint him.

Snape watched him as Harry took a bite of his sandwich and gave a small smile as he chewed it up and swallowed. Blah. Disgusting. Oh well, awkward was better than angry.

Harry wolfed down his sandwich, if for no other reason than to not prolong the experience.

"Is the spare room suitable?" Severus asked as he ate his own lunch at a more reasonable pace.

"Yes sir," he said, and this time it was the truth. "There's a nice view." Snape looked as though he were thinking on this before he gave a nod, and Harry knew what the man thought. Because Harry had lived in a shed, anything was a nice view. It was true, but Harry didn't want him to think that about him.

"I mean, that since we're up in the hills, I can see down towards some of the city."

"Just about everything is closed by now, and will be tomorrow as well. Many here are like myself, and celebrate Christmas the day before."

"Today sir?" Harry wondered. He'd never even had Christmas before coming to Hogwarts, and he and Ron had always opened up presents Christmas morning when they'd appeared at the foot of their beds. The Dursleys had always locked him away for two or three days around Christmas and Harry was not allowed to see or take part in their traditions.

"Why do you celebrate the night before?"

"A tradition my grandparents insisted on when we spent Christmas at Prince Manor."

Harry swallowed. Prince Manor? Like Malfoy Manor? He wasn't sure if he liked the sound of that, but didn't say so.

"Oh." Harry looked around the kitchen and out through the doorway to the living room. There were no Christmas decorations, but he didn't mind, again because he hadn't grown up with them.

"Another tradition is to decorate on Christmas eve." Harry's head shot up. Had he used Occlumency on him to read his thoughts? Or perhaps he'd just seen Harry looking around and deduced what he'd been thinking about.

"How do you decorate?"

Severus rose from his chair, finished with his lunch now, and disappeared through a thin door in the back of the kitchen. Harry heard some noises that sounded as though he were rummaging through a pile of things, but came out with a box of Christmas decorations, red tinsel hanging out over the edge.

"It is not a necessity, but we may decorate if you wish."

Biting his lip, Harry thought that he really didn't want to cause any trouble, but then again, he'd never been part of Christmas traditions before, and he'd already gone to the trouble of pulling out the box.

Snape used his wand repeatedly to spruce up the dilapidated decorations as he handed them to Harry to hang at will. Harry hung tinsel town the banister of the stairs and above the windows. There was no tree so he used the old Muggle lights instead around the edges of the ceiling and around the windows, which was all well and good because there were no ornaments in the box anyhow. Finally he reached into the box for a small statue of an angel, and set it on top of the old piano next to the window. There, he thought, satisfied. Now it's Christmas.

After they were done decorating, Harry retreated up to his room to read one of the novels he'd grabbed from his nightstand. He'd accidentally grabbed one of Ron's action novels, but decided that since he had it he might as well read it. He would have taken the novel back downstairs, but already he'd encountered a number of awkward silent moments, and he didn't want to push his luck by making Snape feel awkward in his own home. It was never like this in his office, because Harry'd had the excuse of studying then, so he was meant to be quiet.

* * *

Severus contemplated the gift he'd brought along for Harry. It sat on the mantelpiece, just as it had in his quarters. It wasn't much, but he hoped the child would like it. He'd been upstairs for nearly two hours reading, although Severus wondered if perhaps he wasn't uncomfortable here, and if he'd done the right thing by bringing him home with him.

"Harry!" Well, he'd just have to stop wondering, because it was too late to take him back to the castle now, wasn't it? And he didn't want to besides.

Harry came down the stairs, book still in hand. It was getting dark now and he was surprised at how quickly he'd been drawn into the book about the Chaser who had been kidnapped and whom had found himself sucked into a world of mystery and near constant dueling.

He looked at Snape expectantly, and he motioned for Harry to have a seat on one of the couches. Once he was sitting, Snape gave another glance at the box on the mantelpiece, and took hold of it. He sat on the other couch and handed the gift to Harry. "Merry Christmas Harry."

Instead of taking the box however, Harry just stared at it. It wasn't wrapped in Gryffindor red, but still, Severus thought the child would be happy to have it, wouldn't he? He held it out further, and finally Harry took it, eyes glued to the box. He carefully unwrapped the gift, as if in a daze, and pulled out the bar of chocolate. There was an inscription on it and Severus knew Harry had read it. In short it described that it was an everlasting bar of chocolate, that would replenish itself every time it was nearly eaten. For a child like Harry, who had probably not had a lot of sweets growing up, and who was protective about having food with him at all times, it seemed an appropriate gift.

"Thank you sir," Harry said quietly, still staring at the chocolate bar.

"It should not be a substitute for real food, but I would not object to your indulgence of it after meals whilst you are here." He expected Harry to take a bite of it, to see how it tasted, as any other child would have, but he remained still, staring at it. Something wasn't right.

"Harry?"

Harry's hands began to shake slightly and he moved quickly to rub a tear off of his cheek.

"I'm sorry sir," Harry's fumbled words came out. "Don't mean to be a big baby over candy."

Severus was silent, and Harry filled the silence after a few moments. "I'm not used to getting gifts is all, only from Hermione and the Weasleys, and nobody gave me anything this year because they're all mad at me. And I don't want you to be mad at me sir, I just can't-"

Standing to move to the other couch to sit next to Harry now, Severus tried to make sense of what he'd just been told. "What makes you think I'm mad at you?" He wasn't used to speaking in such a gentle manor, but his charge had just come undone over a bar of chocolate, and he felt the situation warranted it.

"It's gonna happen eventually sir. Just like it does everybody else," he choked. "You'll chuck me in the end. I- I'm not used to having somebody invite me places or take care of me like this, and I just don't- I don't want you to be angry."

Severus sighed and put his arm around Harry's shoulder. In all of the jumbled feelings that had spilled from the Gryffindor's mouth, he believed he understood at least some of it. Harry had no solid foundation for relationships, case in point his friends who had conveniently chosen to forget about him this Christmas. And here Severus was trying to provide that solid foundation that he needed, and Harry was sure that it wasn't solid at all, despite his want for it to be.

"I'm not going anywhere Harry," Severus said without even thinking about it. He gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze, only to realize that his guest was asleep against him. Severus didn't take affront to this however, because he for one knew how exhausting it could be to ride the roller coaster of emotions that Harry had been on recently. To do so as a teenager would be even more taxing.

Severus didn't know how, but he was determined to give Harry some security in his life, and this thought was a comfort to him. It was something his father never would have vowed.

Harry stirred from sleep as someone tapped his foot, and noted that he was uncomfortably hot. "I'm up sir," Harry said, pulling a heavy gray wool blanket off of him. He heard a crackling and turned to see that there was a roaring fire in the fireplace, which just made it feel a little more like Christmas.

"Did I miss breakfast?"

Severus shook his head. "No. It's on the table along with hot chocolate."

Harry rose and followed Snape into the dining area where there was a small feast on the small table, along with two plates. Seeing Harry's eyes nearly bug out at the amount of food, Severus chuckled and had a seat.

"Is this tradition too?" Harry asked. He knew the Dursleys often had large meals around the holidays seeing as how it was the only time he was let out of his cupboard because he was needed to help cook the meal.

"I believe it is." He began loading his plate up with food and watched as Harry dug in also, filling his plate with bacon, eggs, an English muffin, sausage, fried potatoes, a blueberry muffin, and an orange frosted cinnamon roll.

"Is that a cake on the counter?" Harry observed a few minutes after he'd seemingly gone into a trance while scarfing down the delicious food.

"My grandmother ate coffee cake once a year on Christmas day."

Harry eyed it for a moment longer before deciding that he couldn't possibly eat anymore. He wished every day were Christmas if he could eat like this.

"Why did your grandparents celebrate Christmas the day before?"

"They went visiting on Christmas day. Something wealthy wizarding families often engage in. I believe the Malfoys celebrate in the same manner."

"Oh," Harry said. Again he wondered that Snape came from a wealthy magical family, probably pureblood at that. "Are we going to visit someone then?"

"I had planned a trip, yes, but not to visit." Severus could tell that this had peaked Harry's interest as the boy's brows raised.

"Good, because for a second I thought you were going to say I had to spend the day with Draco," Harry joked.

"You will be," Severus said then in a serious tone, and Harry's face fell as he grimaced. Severus held up a hand then and smiled. "I was merely joking."

Harry gave him a wary look and then smiled. "I want an extra piece of cake for that," he said with a grin, and Severus gave another small smile as well.

"We will be going shopping in Ward's Cross."

"Where's that? I thought everything would be closed."

"It's a magical village similar to Diagonalley and Hogsmead. It is tucked up in the hills behind Loch Ness."

"Loch Ness? As in where the monster lives? I thought Hogsmead was the only all magical village in Britain?"

"Ward's cross has several squibs that live in the village as well as several half Muggle half Wizarding families. And as for the monster, it's nothing more than sport for the Mer-People to drag a long dead dragon skin up to the surface and trail it along when there's Muggles to see."

Harry shook his head then in disbelief. All these years after the specials he'd seen on the telly, he'd really believed there was a monster.

"Are you going to crush my belief in the Yeti too?"

Severus raised a brow. "The Yeti is a magical creature to be feared. If you were ever to see one, I would run and pray that it does not catch you. It is a dangerous creature that is a half breed between giants and bears, although the headmaster once told me there was primate mixed in as well."

"Good to know," Harry said as he stood up and began clearing dishes from the table, although he snagged another muffin. Severus noticed that the boy ate it there instead of stuffing it or other food into a pocket. Good, he thought, he's not still in survival mode.

"I don't have any money from my vault," Harry said then. "Just a few knuts left in my bag."

"There is a Gringotts branch in Ward's Cross, but you will not need to access it."

"Oh."

When the kitchen was clean, Harry was told to put on something warm, although Severus was disappointed to find that the teen's warmest clothing was nothing more than a thin sweat jacket, and then Harry was handed a cup with barely more than a sip of electric blue potion.

"What is it?" He asked cautiously as Severus drank his down.

"It will make you take on some of my features and it will make me take on some of yours. We should not be recognizable to anyone we may come across while out."

Harry shrugged and drank it down, and then looked up at Snape in surprise to see that his hair shortened considerably, his eyes turned green, and his nose straightened out. He distinctly looked un-Snapeish.

"What do I look like then?"

Severus conjured a mirror and Harry examined himself. His hair was trimmed nicely as opposed to going everywhere, his nose had elongated a little, his scar was gone, his eyebrows had thickened, and he was surprised to find that he was now nearly six inches taller.

"You should not require your glasses, as I do not."

"That was a lot more pleasant than Polyjuice," Harry commented as he took his glasses off. In fact he hadn't felt a thing.

"It is a watered down variety with different ingredients. A potion of my own invention. I was not aware that you'd had Polyjuice before."

Harry grinned sheepishly. "Maybe it's better if we keep it that way."

Severus raised a brow and Harry snickered because he didn't look like himself at all. "What's your name then if I can't call you Professor Snape in public?"

Suddenly Severus fidgeted uncomfortably and said, "I believe we look like father and son. Villagers may find it strange if you call me by a given name."

"Oh," Harry said. "Who shall I be then? I think Issac, or maybe Aiden."

"Issac," Severus experimented. "Let us depart then. The potion gives us six hours." He held out his arm for Harry to take, and before Harry knew that it had happened, he'd been apparated to a dirt lane covered in snow in a wooded little town. It was sunny out despite the cold, and Harry couldn't help but feeling excited to be out. Much better than moping around the common room with no presents.

"It looks a lot like Hogsmead," Harry said. There weren't a lot of people out yet, but there were a few, mainly shop owners.

"If I am not mistaken, the founders of Hogsmead and Ward's Cross were related."

Severus motioned for Harry to move towards a store, and they went inside. "Everything is going on a tab," he told Harry then as they entered a furniture store. "Do not worry about cost. This too is tradition and we would do well not to break it."

"What do you mean?"

"It means you will go and choose your own presents," Severus said, knowing very well that this was a tradition he had only started that morning. He intended to give Harry some security by letting him take part in tradition as well as letting him personalize the guest room. If he could get his way with the Headmaster once they returned, Harry would not be returning to Privet Drive.

"What shall I buy then?"

"I suggest a desk and chair to your liking. There are decorations and bedding on the second floor."
Feeling a little strange at being let loose in a store and told to buy what he wanted, Harry moved off, passing the desks and making his way to the second floor. Severus stayed on the first level chatting with the lonely looking store owner who desired to strike up a conversation.

"Your dad lettin' you buy what you want for Christmas then?" a boy of about ten years old said from a bean bag chair in the corner.

Harry nodded, not wanting to lie to the boy and say that it wasn't his father. "We just got some new Quidditch posters in," the boy said, motioning to the wall to Harry's left. "Only a sickle each, and each one I sell my da says I get to keep the profit. If I earn enough I'm going to buy a racing broom before I go to Hogwarts next year."

"How many should I buy then," Harry laughed, and the boy held up five fingers.

"What else do you get to keep the profit from?" he asked as he went over and picked out five rolled up posters. He figured he might as well get one for each boy in the Gryffindor dorm, and picked out the teams accordingly, even though he knew he'd received no gifts from them this year.

"The boy's bedspreads. My sister gets to keep all the money from the girl's ones because she picked out the designs on those."

Harry went over to look at the blankets and found one he liked. It was a simple quilt made of squares all the same size in alternating shades of dark and darker red.

"Have I bought you your broom yet then?" Harry asked, and the boy said, "I reckon by spring I'll have enough." He took the bedspread from Harry then and they climbed back down the ladder that slanted almost enough to be stairs.

"Da, I'm up to 35 Galleons now," the boy boasted as he set Harry's things on the counter.

Severus raised a brow but Harry gave him a look and shook his head.

"Good job son," the shop owner said as he tallied up Harry's purchase, 1 Galleon total.

Severus paid for the items before banishing them with his wand. "Where'd they go?" Harry asked.

"Back to the house. You will not learn item apparation until your seventh year."

They hurried out of the cold into a book store that was decorated for the holiday, and Harry was amazed that he had just been told to purchase ten or fifteen books that interested him.

"But I already got a lot of things," he said, confused.

"I told you that you are not to worry about the money. Be on your way. I will be in the defense section."

Harry was surprised the man hadn't headed straight to the Potions section, but moved off himself to look for more action novels like the one he'd accidentally borrowed from Ron. He tucked the next two in the series under his arm before going to look for Quidditch books, and then on to the Defense section where he found his professor sitting in an oversized armchair engrossed in a book.

"Are you finished?"

Harry set ten books down on the table. Two action novels, two Quidditch books, three defense texts, and three drawing books he'd picked up on his way to the defense section. He'd always wanted to learn to draw, but had never had the money to get drawing books nor had anyone to teach him.

"Yes," Harry said, and they purchased their books, Severus having picked up several of his own.

"One more stop and then we will go to lunch."

Harry nodded and they went into a clothing store that was very narrow, but three stories high with a winding staircase that went up to each level.

"Men's on third," a twenty something girl said when they came in, and Harry and Snape both went up to the third floor.

"I can't possibly get anything else," Harry tried to beg off when Snape had practically told him to get a new wardrobe. He really didn't need three new shirts, three new pairs of pants, a new coat, and new boots. He could use a new hat and pair of gloves seeing as how he had none, but he'd been given so much already that he felt bad about taking anymore.

"Tradition," Severus said.

Harry bit his lip. "Ron would like your traditions," Harry said as he turned to a rack full of shirts.

"And what about you?"

Harry turned and gave him a crooked smile before he went about picking out the new clothing. It would be his first new clothing since getting robes. Robes were the only thing he ever got new since he needed a new set every year.

When Harry lingered overlong at the rack of hanging gloves and hats, Severus told him it was mandatory to get two hats and a pair of gloves as well, which Harry finally didn't argue with.

Instead of sending the purchases home after they'd paid for them, Severus directed Harry to the changing room, where Harry was pleased to put on a new pair of dark blue jeans, a dark green shirt with a broad tan stripe across the chest, his new dark blue heavy winter coat, and his dark red beanie and mittens. He wanted to wear the new black boots too, but didn't want to ruin them in the snow, so he left them in the bag and came back out, finally feeling warm.

Severus gave him a close looking over before nodding in approval. "Lunch then," he said, and they headed out into the bright sunlight and now street full of people.

"How is it the other Muggles don't know about this place if it's so close to Loch Ness. Is it like Hogwarts?"

"Anyone with the password can get in. They couldn't put anti-Muggle charms on it because there are Muggles that live here."

"What's the password?"

"Simply the name of the village. In the spring they change the name to Moss Wart until the fall when all the Moss Wart dies."

"They actually change the name?"

"They believe it keeps unwanted visitors away. Like changing common room passwords at Hogwarts."

"Hm."

They enjoyed a warm Christmas meal at a little restaurant full of people trying to get warm, and then went to one last store, where Severus insisted that Harry choose an area rug to his liking, as well as a board game.

It was almost three o'clock when they returned back to Snape's home.

"Your items are all upstairs," Severus said, and Harry went upstairs to find bags and bags of purchases on the guest bed. He was also surprised to find that Snape had followed him up.

"These things should make the room appeal more to the eye," he commented, waving his wand at the area rug, which unrolled itself in midair and then suddenly disappeared, only to reappear a moment later directly under the bed, where it stuck out for two feet at all the edges.

"Sir?"

Severus turned to see that the potion had worn off and that Harry was looking anxious. "Yes?"

"You didn't have to buy me all of this stuff. I won't really be able to take it with me back to my aunt and uncle's house. They'll just throw it out."

Hands on his hips Severus said, "I suppose we'll just have to keep it here then, and you'll have to come here to use it."

Harry frowned. "I'll get to come back?"

"You are welcome here any time that you want Harry," Severus said then. "See there, that rug is yours and it's on the floor, I guess that makes this your room."

"Will the Headmaster let me?" Harry hedged. He did not fail to notice that Snape had just called the room his.

"I will be speaking to him when we return. Do not worry yourself over it."

Harry smiled then and said, "What other traditions do you have on Christmas?"

"I have none, but perhaps we can start a new one. I was thinking about making some cookies..."

Harry was already up off the bed and looking eager however, and he lead the teen downstairs to the kitchen, where Harry decided that pumpkin cookies sounded appetizing, and they were after Harry threw the first batch out that Snape had burnt and started another.

After dinner that evening, when Harry was nearly sick to his stomach from sweets and cake, (although mainly he'd eaten the large chocolate bar to test out if it would really grow back), they sat in front of the large fireplace and read the new books they'd bought until Harry started to doze off in the chair.

"Mr. Potter, I believe it is time for you to go to bed."

Harry opened his eyes and closed his book. He wasn't sure if he was just overwhelmed with happiness at that moment, or perhaps overcome with a drunken feeling from the sugar high he was coming down from, but Harry stood and looked over to Snape, whom he no longer resembled as much as he had that morning after they'd taken the potion.

"Sir."

"Yes?"

"This was the best Christmas."

"Oh?"

Harry was silent for a moment, and then said, "I liked it when they thought you were my dad."

Severus stared up at the teen for a moment before Harry seemed to realize himself then and blushed before he waved and said goodnight before hurrying up the stairs to his room.

He sat there for long moments in the dim light by the fire, book forgotten as he was immersed in his thoughts. The boy had had what he called his best Christmas, but he didn't identify it as such because of the good food, excess of candy, or numerous new gifts he'd received. It was his best Christmas because for a little while he got to pretend he was Severus Snape's son. And if Severus were honest with himself, it was his best Christmas for the same reason. Now there was a thought worth thinking about.

It was nearly midnight, and Harry was still sitting on his bed, knees propped up with pad of paper against them. One of the drawing books, one on drawing what the Muggle's called 'manga' style, lay open next to him as Harry looked back at it every few moments, trying to figure out how to draw body proportions correctly. In the four days since Christmas, Harry had read through the book on drawing basics and perspective, and was now half way through the manga book.

Using his charmed Muggle Pencil, which would forever stay sharp and never use up its eraser, Harry erased the arm he was drawing for the fourth time, hurrying to sketch it out again. They were supposed to return to Hogwarts tomorrow evening and he was afraid that if he didn't get this picture done now, he'd lose the magical feeling he had about it.

Finally he was satisfied with the basic sketch and rubbed his eyes hard before giving it another looking over. There were no facial features yet, but not having a camera, or the nerve to ask, Harry had drawn a picture of Snape with his arm around Harry's shoulder as they stood in Ward's Cross in front of a shop. Of course Snape had never put his arm around Harry's shoulder that day, but Harry liked to pretend that he did, and he wanted a picture to remember his best Christmas.

Flipping ahead ten pages, Harry found the various ways to draw eyes and mouths and the way manga expressions worked, and began drawing in the rest of the features and clothing. It was near three am when he was finally done with the shading and the town, and was rather proud that he'd managed a reasonable looking picture in two point perspective. He'd have to see if anyone back in Gryffindor tower had some colored pencils he could borrow to color it in.

Harry carefully tucked the page between the pages of his drawing book, and set it on the floor with his pencil, feeling ready to collapse. He didn't want to waste any of his time here. Despite what Snape had said about talking to the Headmaster, Harry knew for certain he'd be made to return to Privet Drive again at the end of the school year. He fell asleep with this in mind and woke with a start a few hours later from a nightmare about the Dursleys, but found that Snape was not the one who had woken him. He wished his pretend father was there with him then, and went back to sleep.

At nine am the next morning, when Harry had still not appeared for breakfast, Severus went upstairs to the boy's room and knocked softly, before letting himself in to see Harry sprawled across the bed at an angle on top of the covers. Face buried in the pillow, one of his arms hung off the side and his feet stuck out over the foot of the bed.

Severus spied one of Harry's new books on the floor, and moved to have a look at what had kept the teen interested enough to stay up half the night reading. It was a drawing book Severus hadn't realized the child had purchased. A page stuck out a little at an angle and he tugged lightly until it came loose. He stared at it with some surprise. It was a fairly good rendering of himself and Harry in a village he could only assume was Ward's cross. Both figures were smiling, and he took note especially that Harry had drawn his professor's arm around his own shoulder. It served to remind Severus once again that for that day, they were father and son to all who saw them. He quickly tucked the page back in the book and proceeded to shake Harry's shoulder.

"Are you going to rise for breakfast Mr. Potter?"

"Hm?" Harry rolled over and squinted in the bright sunlight that was now flooding the room, probably reflecting off of some of the snow from outside.

"Wha' time'sit?"

"Nearly nine ten. Your breakfast is on the table downstairs with a heating charm on it."

"Oh, sorry," Harry said then, sitting up quickly.

"Do not be. I do not expect you to be up early every morning while on vacation."

Is that what this is, Harry thought. Even a month ago Harry was certain he would have classified this as a week and a half long detention if someone would have told him he was to go home with Professor Snape for Christmas.

Snape left the room and Harry changed into clean clothes in a hurry, not wanting to waste any of his last day with Snape there. When he'd finished his breakfast a few minutes later, Snape said, "I have some business to attend to at the Ministry of Magic today before returning to Hogwarts."

"Oh," Harry said, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Do I detect disappointment Mr. Potter?"

Harry frowned. Suddenly the man was back to calling him by his last name instead of just Harry. He bit his lip.

"I guess I'll use the time to pack up then while you're away," Harry said a little sullenly while trying to avoid the question.

With a raised brow, Severus said, "I was hoping you'd join me."

With some interest now, Harry asked, "Are we allowed to be seen together? Won't the death eaters spot us, or will we use more of the potion?"

"We will need to use a small amount of the potion, and take some with us. For official business we will need to look like ourselves."

Harry's curiosity was definitely peaked now. Professor Snape was talking like this official business involved Harry somehow.

"What are we going to go do?"

Harry noted that Snape looked uncomfortable briefly before he said, "I was hoping to fill out paperwork to gain guardianship of you until you're seventeen. This would mean you would not have to return to the Dursleys for the summer."

Quiet for long moments, Harry thought over what he had just heard. Surely he hadn't heard right. Who would want to be his guardian, and only for a few months at that?

"To be my guardian?" Harry queried quietly.

"If you will agree, then yes."

"Buy why?"

"I realize it would only be for a few months until you come of legal wizarding age, but," he paused. What he was going to say was it would spare Harry from having to go back to those wretched Muggles. What he wanted to say however, was that it was because he wanted to.

"Sir?"

"You do not have to say yes. The headmaster will likely not approve, but it is not his choice, and he has clearly made unsafe choices for you in the past."

There was silence between them again. Snape never really had answered his question.

"So, so you just want me to stay with you until I'm 17?" That would make sense after all. He couldn't be too much of a burden from January to June.

"I was hoping you would agree to something more along the lines of... adoption. After what you had said on Christmas."

"Adopt- adoption?" No, he must still be dreaming. NOBODY wanted to adopt Harry Potter. Not even the Weasleys.

When Harry dropped his head to stare at his hands, and his bangs obscured his face, Severus knew that the boy's answer was no. He stood up and dumped the remainder of his coffee into the sink. Strange, he thought, he hadn't expected to feel like this today... like somebody had ripped a part of him away from himself.

"We can just return to Hogwarts this morning then," he said. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell your friends about the offer I made to you."

At the edge to Snape's voice, Harry looked up, face falling. The man really had offered to adopt him? He seemed a little upset now.

"Sir?"

"I'm going to go pack Mr. Potter. You should have your things ready by ten." He hurried out of the small kitchen then, and Harry heard him climbing the stairs to the second floor.

Harry wasn't sure what he should be feeling inside right now. Here someone that he liked had gone and offered to adopt him, and apparently Harry had done or said the wrong thing, because the man had quickly changed his mind and rescinded the offer. What had possessed Professor Snape to offer in the first place, Harry didn't know. Maybe it was pity. Harry wished he had said yes, whatever the reason was.

Numbly Harry made his way upstairs and packed his old clothes into his bag, along with his drawing and Ron's book. He wished he could take his new, warm clothes with him and his new books, but he was sure the man would want to return all of his gifts now that Harry had upset him. When he went back downstairs with his bag, Snape was waiting by the fireplace with a jar of floo powder. He held it out to Harry, who took it and shouted, "Hogwarts," before he disappeared, sad to think he would never see Snape's house again.

School started two days after Harry and Severus returned to the castle. Harry had hoped to catch Snape's eye at meal times, but the man had seemed to vanish into thin air, and Harry's gut felt like lead.

Ron, noting Harry's sullen look upon his return, and perhaps having had a chance to think things over during Christmas break, decided that he was talking to Harry again, though it wasn't helping Harry's mood much.

"What's got you down?" Ron asked the morning of the first day of classes.

Harry shrugged as he pushed his eggs around his plate.

Ron dug in his bag and pulled out a small box that he held out to Harry. "I know it's a little late, but I got you this."

Quietly Harry took the box, feeling like he wasn't really there, and pulled off the lid. It was a leather holster for his wand.

"Goes around through your belt loops. It's a dueling holster. Figured you could use it for when Malfoy thinks it's funny to hex you in the halls."

"Thanks Ron," Harry said, putting the lid back on. He wanted to feel thankful that his friend had decided he was worth it to make the effort, to stop being mad at him even, but he felt nothing at all.

That afternoon in Potions, Harry was in for a surprise and a nasty shock when he found that Snape seemed to be back to his normal routine of snark at all Gryffindors, including Harry.

"Five points from Gryffindor for your failing potion Potter." Snape didn't look at him as he passed or deducted points, or else he might have seen the look on Harry's face. Ron and Hermione did however as Harry looked away, trying to fight back the urge to melt into tears right there. He'd gone and blown his one and only chance at having a parent, somebody who really cared, and now it was like nothing had happened at all in the past two months.

"Git," Ron muttered under his breath on their way out of the room, but Harry made no comment. The last thing he could afford right now was to lose his only friend. That had felt bad enough the first time it had happened just before Christmas. He didn't need that again.

During Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures that day, Harry felt chilled without his new coat, and felt terrible during Quidditch practice after dinner that evening. By eight, he just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep until summer. Maybe it would all be over by then.

The next week and a half went much the same as Harry's first day back for Harry, with the exception that as the weather continued to grow colder outside, Harry continued to feel crummier. Each trip outside left him shivering, and left his skin feeling clammy. He didn't go to the Hospital Wing because the truth was, he didn't deserve it.

Snape had started showing up to meals again, but Harry couldn't bring himself to look at the man anymore. It made him want to cry knowing the chance that he'd lost, and knowing the way that Snape felt about him again, what with the way he'd been treating him in class.

At night Harry wasn't sure if he was losing sleep because he was sick and dizzy, or because of his dreams, where chances of a lifetime taunted him before vanishing into thin air.

By the time the end of the week rolled around, Harry felt defeated and hopeless. It felt like everything he built up spent it's time collapsing around him, and finally it was Harry's turn to just collapse at the dark end of a corridor somewhere in the castle he didn't even know where. He tried to get up again, but he was sick and weak and his legs wouldn't hold him. Putting his hands up over his face he finally fell apart. He could not be in more despair if someone had just died, because he knew he was dying inside, and didn't know if there was a way back now. He didn't know if he could be in his own skin anymore.

Anyone could have found Harry that night. He was only a few minutes away from McGonagall's office, and just a corridor over from Flitwick's quarters. McGonagall and Flitwick didn't happen upon Harry this night though. Neither did Dumbledore, who often roamed the corridors at all hours of the night in contemplation, or the Prefects that were patrolling. There was a soul who turned the corner to see a huddle of a human being at its lowest point, however.

With how dark it was, there was no possible way Severus could know it was Harry there weeping, gripping his arms weakly as he tried to hold on to reality, but he knew. He could have turned around then, just let the boy cry it out, but despite the rough exterior he'd displayed that week since returning from vacation, he could not shake his feelings of protectiveness for this child, the child he wanted to be his.

Severus slid down the wall next to Harry and put his hands up to his own face for a moment. What Harry was doing... that's what he'd felt like doing all week. He'd considered just not showing up to classes half a dozen times. The times he'd have to face Harry. It wasn't that he'd just always desired children. At one point he had... when he'd been with Lily. But the feeling had just come upon him during those times he'd taken care of Harry... spent time with him. Two months ago he was openly rejected by the teen and took pride in knowing he'd raised the child's ire in some way. A week ago, he'd felt disheartened to know the rejection was because he just wasn't good enough, and never would be.

He didn't know if Harry knew he was there or not, because the child's eyes were closed as he lay there on the stone floor in tears. At a particularly hard sob, Severus lowered his hands from his face and let a hand rub the child's back, just to know someone was there for him. With all the boy had been through, who knew what had him so riled this night.

After a few moments, Harry opened his eyes and upon seeing Severus, only sobbed harder. He curled in on himself and Severus reached down to lift him to a sitting position, but Harry was too weak to hold it. He slumped against Severus and cried harder.

"Why?" Harry asked, choked. "Why did you want me? I know it was only for a minute, but why?"

"I wanted you for more than a minute," Severus said quietly, and unsure what was bringing on the sudden honesty, he said, "I wanted you to be mine before you were even a thought in Lily's mind. I loved her more than James Potter could ever have imagined, and when you told me you liked pretending to be my son, I wanted you to be mine then too."

"I'm not worth it," Harry said, tears slowing, but still falling on his wet face. "Nobody wants to adopt me. Not even you."

"I asked you," Severus reminded him then.

Harry's breath hitched. "You took it back because I did something wrong and I'm not worth it." He couldn't help but sticking his bottom lip out as it trembled with the exhaustion and emotion that was overpowering him.

"I'm a very serious man Mr. Potter. I never take back an offer I make. I let the matter drop because I thought you'd rejected it."

When Harry had not answered after a minute or so, Severus thought he might have fallen asleep, but finally he said, "I need a dad. I can't do it on my own anymore."

Severus looked down in the darkness to Harry's mop of black hair and ran his hand through it before putting his chin on Harry's head. "It takes a man to admit that. I never would have."

"Dad?"

Startled by the title, Severus said quietly, "Yes?"

"I'm sick. I can't make it to the Hospital Wing."

From behind Harry, Severus put his hand on Harry's forehead and was surprised to feel that it was burning hot. He moved to stand and help Harry to his feet, but Harry's legs weren't willing to lock into place even to hold him up, so Severus scooped him up under the legs and arms and carried his too light son up another floor to the Hospital Wing. A wooden chair was his home as he stayed with him through the night.

"Ron and Hermione," Harry said. "And Ginny."

"Even with the way Mr. Weasley feels about me?"

Harry nodded. He wasn't sure what must have happened over the Christmas Holiday but Ron seemed much more on his side of things. He had a feeling it had to do with Ginny. She always understood. "He'll be ok. What about you?"

"Hm." Severus leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. Normally he would have had Albus be a witness, but considering the circumstances, he felt it would be better to do this in secret. He felt that the aging headmaster sometimes lost sight of the human part of Harry and saw him only as a means to an end. Dumbledore would not want to give up his control over Harry, even though he was the one that first suggested that Severus take the teen home for Christmas.

"Minerva," Severus finally said. Yes, he trusted her. She might not like the idea of him adopting Harry, but he knew she would not run to Albus with the news.

"When will we be able to do this?" Harry asked.

"You cannot leave the Hospital Wing until tomorrow morning, but I can have the adoption agent come by this evening. If you are amenable, I will round up your friends."

Harry reached over to the nightstand beside his bed and scribbled a note to Ron. "Give Ron this and he'll come up."

"What does it say?"

"You can read it," Harry said, setting his quill down.

Severus raised a brow, and unfolded the parchment. "Come quick. My Firebolt is on fire!!!!" He looked to see Harry grinning.

"As you wish," he said, and then stood up, straightening his robes. Severus gave a look around the empty ward to be sure Madam Pomfrey was not listening in on their conversation, and then hurried off. Harry put his hands behind his head and waited, unable to keep the grin from spreading across his face. It was less than ten minutes later that Ron came bursting through the Hospital Wing doors with his wand out and a wild look on his face.

"Where is it?" He asked. He saw Harry grinning though, and dropped his wand. "Very funny Harry. I can't believe Snape helped you prank me."

"Just imagine the pranks he can help us pull off," Harry said as Ron came over to occupy the seat the Professor had recently vacated.

"What d'you mean?"

"We could outlive Fred and George's reputation," Harry said with a smile. When Ron just raised a brow, Harry let his face grow serious.

"He wants to adopt me Ron. He asked me the last day of Christmas break. When he thought I was saying no, he got upset. That's why he was being a git the last couple of weeks."

"Blimy Harry! I wish your Firebolt were on fire!"

Harry snorted. "Ron, we each need witnesses," he said seriously. "You're my best friend, even when you're choosing not to be. I want you to sign the paperwork with Ginny and Hermione."

With a pained look on his face, Ron surveyed Harry just to be sure it was really him. "You really want to be his son? Just think Harry, just look at all the chores my mum makes me do... all the groundings. You know Snape will be worse. He won't let you get away with anything. Seriously mate. It'll put a cramp on our rule-breaking lifestyle."

With a sigh Harry nodded. "Maybe, but I want what you have. I want a family. Besides... maybe he'll help us pull something over on McGonagall one of these days."

"You think?"

The Hospital Wing doors opened then to reveal an unsure looking Hermione and Ginny, who hurried over to Harry's bed.

"Professor Snape said you needed us for... paperwork?" Hermione asked as she conjured a chair and Ginny sat down next to Harry on the bed. Hermione seemed uncertain.

"Adoption paperwork," Harry confirmed.

Hermione and Ginny looked at Ron, expecting him to explode, but Ron only said, "It could be worse. Harry's Firebolt could have been on fire."

"Boys," Hermione said under her breath, but it only made Harry smile wider.

The Gryffindors talked for another twenty minutes before the Hospital Wing doors opened again to admit Severus, Professor McGonagall, and a man wearing a haggard set of robes with a patched elbow. Professor McGonagall looked as stern as ever, but though she pursed her lips, she said nothing against the ceremony aside from to ask Harry if this was really what he wanted. The answer was yes.

"Relation to the witnesses?" The wizard named Jenkins asked.

"These are my best friends," Harry said. Then he looked at Ginny and boldly said, "And my girlfriend." Ginny promptly turned red as she looked Harry in the eyes, but then nodded, and the adoption agent marked it down on his paperwork.

"And your witnesses Professor?"

"Minerva McGonagall is a friend and co-worker."

Jenkins spent a few minutes filling out some paperwork, before he began reading a statement to Harry and Snape.

"Harry James Potter, biological son of James and Lilly Potter nee Evans. Do you understand that you are being legally adopted by Severus Tobias Snape, and that he will have all parental and custodial rights over you, including but not limited to discipline, rule setting, control of your family finances, and decision making about your health?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you understand that you will legally be his son, and will become heir to all that he owns, and that this adoption cannot be reversed until you are over the age of seventeen, at which point you are legally an adult in the wizarding world?"

"Yes sir."

Jenkins turned to Snape.

"Severus Tobias Snape, do you understand that as the legal guardian of Harry James Potter, you are charged with his protection, health, finances, education, and overall emotional and physical well-being?"

"I understand."

"Harry James Potter, and Severus Tobias Snape: understanding that you are not being forced into this agreement, and that you may back out of the adoption at this point in time, you may sign on the dotted line if you agree to these proceedings."

Severus took the pen and paper and signed his name before Harry held out his hand for the paper and signed it as well.

"Witnesses for the adopter and adoptee, please sign on the lines below their names, signifying that you are witness to these proceedings, and that both parties enter into this agreement of their own free will."

Harry made a point of handing the paperwork to Ron first, who took it, and with one last look at Harry, signed on the dotted line before handing it over to Ginny. "At least the Firebolt is ok," Harry told him jokingly, and Ron snorted.

When Harry's friends were done signing the papers, McGonagall also signed.

"With these papers being signed and sealed by the adoptellus charm, you are hereby father and son. If Harry wishes to change his first or last name, separate paperwork will need to be filed in person at the Ministry of Magic."

"That will not be necessary," Snape said, and Jenkins nodded, before standing up.

"I'll go and file these directly then, seeing the need for secrecy as it is. No one will be privy to this information until the statute of limitations runs out in seven years and it becomes public record."

"Thank you," Severus said, and he gave a nod to Harry before seeing agent Jenkins out of the Hospital Wing.

"Well Mr. Potter," McGonagall finally said, turning to him and his friends. "If I had not seen it for myself, I would not have believed. It is lucky that Bilby Jenkins is a member of the Order of the Phoenix."

"I don't think that anybody will believe it anyway," Ron said.

"Yes well," McGonagall nodded. "I did not know that Mr. Potter was in the market for a new parent."

Harry suddenly felt a little self-conscious. "I always needed one. He just stepped in and took on the task."

"I see. Well, I do hope you know what you've gotten yourself into, and I wish you the best of luck. There is nothing that can be done to change things now. Good day." She moved off, and Harry wondered if she were upset with him. He hoped not, but if she were then it couldn't be helped.

"Well that was strange," Ron said.

"More like awkward," Ginny concluded.

Harry, remembering that Ginny was there with him and that he had just asked her out in front of everyone said, "So in a few years when we get married, will that make you Ginny Potter, or Ginny Snape?"

Hermione gasped and Ginny lightly hit Harry in the arm then. "Presumptuous aren't you? What makes you think you'll be a good enough boyfriend to hold on to me that long?"

"Or that her brother won't kill you first?"

Harry shrugged. For the first time in a long time he truly felt like things would turn out all right, and he told his friends so.

From the quiet corner of Madam Pomfrey's office, where he had been listening at the door with Madam Pomfrey, Albus Dumbledore was saddened that Severus and Harry had not trusted him enough to oversee the adoption. His greatest desire was for Harry to be happy, and he trusted Severus with both his own, and Harry's lives. They would have had his blessings if they had only asked.

"Thank you for calling me through the floo Poppy," and then he was gone back the way he came, too much on his mind to contemplate without the help of a Pensieve.