Harry woke up, a result of his almost nightly nightmares, as the sun was beginning to rise Saturday morning. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes. Still hearing snores coming from his dorm mates, he decided to stay burrowed under his blankets. As he lay with his head against the headboard, he began to think about the Hogsmeade trip that would take place in a few hours.

He couldn't wait to get to the village. It would be his first official ‘fun’ trip and he was really excited. He no longer had to hide under his invisibility cloak and run the risk of someone bumping into him and being discovered or having to spend all his time in a meeting of some sort. He wouldn't have to travel through the dark and dirty secret passageway to get there either. He could arrive by carriage and meander along the cobblestone streets, like everyone else, and enjoy the day.

As he laid in bed thinking about the trip, he began to feel slightly guilty. Late last year he remembered telling Ron and Hermione that he would go with them for his first official trip to Hogsmeade sixth year. Even though the two were acting different and seeming to ignore him a lot of the time, he still wanted them to be with him the first time he went to the village. He knew he did say no to them when they asked him about it a week or so ago, but that was because of what they had planned. And then he turned around and yesterday told Neville he would go with him, Luna and Ginny.

Not liking the feeling that was beginning to form in his stomach, he decided it would be best if he cancelled on his three friends. He knew they would understand, eventually. Giving a large yawn, he closed his eyes and laid his head against the plump pillow. Surprisingly he fell asleep until Ron woke him for breakfast a while later.

Still sitting at his house table after finishing breakfast, Harry searched for Neville. Spotting him farther down the table, he got up and walked over to the boy. "Hey Neville."

Neville set his fork on his plate and turned to Harry. "Hi Harry. Are you almost ready to go to Hogsmeade? I think we're leaving in about fifteen minutes."

"That's actually what I came over here to talk about." Harry took a seat on the bench next to Neville and extended his legs out into the aisle. "I…erm…I wanted to let you know that I won't be joining you for the Hogsmeade trip today. I was really looking forward to it, but I think it would be best if I skipped this trip."

Neville looked at Harry disappointed. He was actually looking forward to spending time with his friend without the company of Ron and Hermione for once.

"I'm sorry Neville. It's just…you see, I made a promise to Ron and Hermione last year that my first trip to the village this year would be with them. I'm sorry. I should have told you no when you asked me yesterday."

"Don't worry about it Harry. I understand."

Harry gave Neville a small smile. "Thanks for not being mad. Can I have a rain check for a future trip?"

Neville nodded his head. "Of course."

"Great." Harry then stood up. "I guess I better let you finish breakfast so you can leave on time. Have fun." He turned and walked out of the Great Hall and headed to the common room. He decided he would work on his homework for a few hours and then visit with Hagrid, something he hadn't been doing as often as he wanted.

After completing his Transfiguration homework later that day, Harry was on his way to Hagrid's hut. As he passed the Great Hall toward the castle entrance, he saw Lupin walking toward him.

"Harry."

"Hi Professor Lupin."

Remus walked up to Harry and stopped, offering him a smile. "I missed seeing you today for our talk. As a matter of fact, I've missed you for our talks the last few weeks."

Harry stopped walking when Remus approached. "I'm sorry about today. I was working on my homework." Harry ignored Remus' comment about the last few weeks. He didn't want to explain why he never stopped by anymore.

"Homework again?" he asked, and raised his eyebrows, not truly believing Harry.

"Yes professor," Harry began seeing the look Remus was giving him. "I was working on my Transfiguration homework so I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the weekend." He started walking towards the doors. "I wanted to spend some time with Hagrid. I haven't talked to him in quite a while."

Remus regarded Harry. "Well, as long as you're not ignoring me again." He gave Harry a smile. "Have fun. But remember you owe me a few hours."

"Yea, well…" Harry still was a little mad at the professor. After their encounter weeks ago, he still wasn't sure what type of relationship he wanted with the man.

"Don't worry about it Harry," Remus said a little disappointed. He had hoped Harry would come around.

"Goodbye sir." Harry then turned around and left for Hagrid's.

Remus stood there watching Harry walk out of the castle. He could tell something was still bothering him.

~SH~

Sitting at the staff table in the Great Hall that evening, Severus thought the week didn't go fast enough for him. It seemed the dunderheads he taught were more dimwitted than usual during the entire week, though it was most likely due to the Hogsmeade weekend. It was, after all, the first visit to the village this term for all the third years and older. What really irritated him, though, was the thought of the week after this weekend. A majority of the students would no doubt be hyped up on sugar from all the Honeydukes candy they were consuming and would be even more dimwitted, if that was even possible.

Disappointed it was Saturday evening and knowing he'd only have one more quiet day to himself before classes resumed, Severus rushed through his dinner, ignoring the troubled glances from Remus sitting next to him. After finishing, he quickly slipped out the side door of the room before the werewolf could discuss his concerns, and made his way to his private quarters.

Upon entering his quarters, he grumbled and lit a fire in the fireplace in his living room. He had forgotten to place a spell on it so it would light the minute he walked into the room. Wanting to be comfortable, he walked to the bedroom, shrugged out of his robes and hung them up in his closet. Rolling up the sleeves on his long-sleeved black shirt, he wandered in to the small kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. With cup in hand, he then proceeded to the sofa in front of the fireplace and sat down, wanting to relax before he completed some tasks he needed to get done before the night was over.

An hour later and thoroughly relaxed, Severus deposited his empty tea cup into the kitchen sink to wash later. He went to his study and retrieved the box of rare potion ingredients he purchased for his personal stores earlier that morning while in Hogsmeade. He hadn't had a chance to put them away upon returning so he had left the box on an empty chair.

After grabbing the box with one hand, he flicked his wand to unlock and open the closet door. Setting his wand on the desk, he then stepped inside the closet. He placed the box on the floor and emptied it out, placing all the glass jars carefully on the shelves along the far wall. When he was done, he bent down to pick up the now empty box and spotted another box sitting right next to it. He had completely forgotten about that box. It had only been about three weeks, but it really was out of sight out of mind.

Severus stood up with the empty box in hand and set it back on the empty chair for a house elf to remove later in the evening. He went back into the closet, picked up the other box and set it down at his desk. He opened the flaps of the box and pulled out the letter. He read it over once, placed it back in the box and grabbed the red, heart-shaped bottle.

With narrowed eyes, Severus brought the bottle up and looked through the glass. Swishing the bottle back and forth a few times, he tried to tell if the substance inside was true memories. It looked like it, but he wanted to be absolutely sure before placing his face into the unknown substance. He picked up his wand and after aiming it at the bottle and muttering a few spells, he was sure the contents were real memories. He placed his wand back on the desk with his eyes never leaving the bottle.

Seemingly frozen in place, Severus stood there for another minute staring at the bottle dangling from his long potion-stained fingers. He wasn't sure if he was ready to see what his life was really like all those years ago. And he definitely wasn't ready to see that Harry was truly his son. He couldn't believe that what Lily mentioned in her letter about his reaction to having a son was true. How could he be happy that Harry was his son? Then again, at that time Harry was never anyone's son except Lily's and his. Harry was never James Potter's son all those years ago.

Deciding he had put the undesirable task off long enough, Severus placed the bottle back on the desk. He walked to locked closet in his adjoining teacher's office to retrieve the pensive he had hid away from Harry's habitual curiosity the night before. Returning to his study and setting the pensive on his desk, he carefully picked up the bottle of memories and removed the gold stopper. He poured the contents inside the pensive and watched the silvery-white contents swirl around for a few minutes, still feeling a bit apprehensive at discovering what had happened over sixteen years ago.

Taking a huge breath a few seconds later, Severus plunged his face into his swirling memories.

Thirty-five minutes later, after viewing some of the memories more than once, Severus removed his face from the pensive breathing rapidly and feeling numb from what he saw. With a shaky hand, he picked up his wand, removed the memories from the pensive and placed them back into the bottle. After carefully placing the stopper back on the bottle, he set it beside him on the desk. He then sunk down into his desk chair and placed his head in his hands. He sat there for about five minutes before muttering into his hands. "I was married to Lily." He knew Lily wrote it in her letter, but to see it for himself, that was entirely different. It wasn't until he saw his memories that he believed it to be true.

"I was married to Lily," he repeated. "She really loved me, not Potter." He had a hard time comprehending the revelation after having lived with his altered memory of the two of them for so long. For almost sixteen years his dreams consisted of Lily and what might have been if she never married James. And now, his dream ended up being the truth. Then he began to realize what could have been if he did things differently back then. "Lily might still be alive." Though he knew if given a second chance, he would probably make the same decision as the first time.

Needing a strong drink to control his swirling emotions, Severus went to his kitchen. He retrieved a bottle hidden in the back of one of the cabinets and poured himself a glass of bourbon. He took the glass back to his study, and after taking a big gulp, sat back down at his desk. If he did things differently years ago, he might actually be happy with his life and have a family. "But I do have a family," he whispered, and placed his head in his hands again. "Potter is my son." He then shivered at that thought.

The conflicting thoughts of Harry were beginning to mingle together and they were beginning to confuse him. On one hand Harry was James Potter's son. He had been for over sixteen years. And he was the spitting image of James, from his unruly hair and glasses to his arrogance. But on the other hand, Harry was his son. Lily's and his. The boy had Lily's eyes. Severus gave a small smile at that thought. Then he was reminded that Harry always had those eyes. His smile left and was replaced by a frown.

Then Severus' altered memories and feelings took over, after having lived with them for so long. "Potter is my son," he repeated in disgust. He lifted his head, grabbed the nearest thing to his hand and threw it with as much force as he could against the wall on the opposite side of room.

Not able to think clearly at all and feeling a massive headache approaching, Severus decided it best to retire to bed early. He downed the rest of his bourbon in two gulps and went to bed.

~SH~

Severus' thoughts weren't any clearer upon waking the next morning. However, he knew he needed to see his real memories again before going down to breakfast. After dressing, he headed straight to his study. Remembering he placed his memories back in the bottle, he searched the top of his desk for it. Not seeing it where he remembered placing it the night before, he sat down and began frantically searching all the drawers in his desk. He needed to find that bottle. As he looked up from the last drawer, he eyes came to rest across the room. It was then he spotted the shattered bottle and liquid puddled on the stone floor.

He quickly retrieved his wand from his robes and went to the far side of the study, kneeling in front of his spilled memories. Pointing his wand at the bottle, he muttered an incantation and the bottle repaired itself and the memories went back inside. He only hoped the air didn't have a negative effect on the memories. With bottle in hand, he carefully walked back to his desk, poured the memories back in the pensive and lowered his head into it.

Five minutes later, he raised his head out of the pensive and brushed the hair out of his face. As much as he wanted to remove his altered memories and put back his real memories, he knew he wasn't ready. He was fine with the idea of watching the memories, but he knew that if he switched out his memories, he would be feeling all the emotions associated with his real memories. He was definitely not ready for that. He needed some time to get used to the idea and come to terms with some of the revelations first.

Since he was running late, he ignored the urge to view one of his memories again and instead placed them back into the bottle. He took the bottle and letter and placed them in the top desk drawer. He then quickly made his way up to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Good morning Severus," Remus offered as Severus took a seat next to him at the staff table.

Severus glared at Remus in return. How dare that werewolf say good morning to him and ruin his day, especially after it was starting out better than it usually did. Serving himself a little of the food in front of him, but pouring a large cup of coffee, Severus tried his best to concentrate on the breakfast in front of him. His thoughts, however, kept drifting back to his memories.

A few minutes later his thoughts were luckily interrupted when the Headmaster leaned over and asked him a question. After answering, he let his eyes wander the Great Hall, beginning at the Slytherin table and ending at the Gryffindor table in front of him. As he scanned the Gryffindor table, Severus' breath caught in his throat and he almost let out a gasp.

Harry was seated at the Gryffindor table close to the staff table and was facing Severus; his position giving the potion's master an unobstructed view. Severus was in shock at what he saw. Of course he had the boy in his classes and had seen him every day, but he never really saw him. Not until today, after having viewed his memories last night. Harry bore a strong resemblance to himself when he was that age. If he didn't know the boy was actually his son, he knew he would have thought nothing of Harry's appearance. But now…now there was no mistaking it. Harry was definitely his son.

Feeling slightly nauseated at the thought, Severus quickly stood up from the table, causing his chair to squeak loudly on the stone floor.

Remus glanced over to him at the sound. "Problem Severus?"

He looked over at Remus. "No Lupin," he responded, distracted. He glanced at Harry again.
"No problem."

Remus looked in the same direction as Severus. He then understood what was bothering the man. He had obviously seen his memories within the last day or so.

Harry, Hermione and Ron were seated at the Gryffindor table in the middle of a conversation about the Hogsmeade trip yesterday. At the sound of wood scraping stone, Ron looked up to the staff table. "Harry," Ron began, seeing the potion's master staring at Harry with an almost unreadable expression. "Why is Snape looking at you like that?"

Harry lifted his eyes and looked to Severus, their eyes locking for a few moments. "Uh, I don't know," he responded quickly, and broke eye contact with his professor. He turned his attention back towards Ron. "Probably thinking of more ways to torture me this week."

"Doesn't look like he's planning any torture Harry. Looks like he's being tortured."

Harry took another glance at the table.

At Harry's second glance to him, Severus mumbled an apology to the headmaster and quickly strode out of the Great Hall.

"Huh, guess he's in a hurry," Harry said then turned his attention back to his breakfast. "All this bright light must be getting to the greasy bat."

The few students around Harry, Hermione and Ron chuckled then continued on with their breakfast.

Severus quickly descended the stairs toward the dungeons, needing to get away from the Great Hall as fast as possible. After entering his quarters and locking the door, he fell into the couch in front of the fireplace. He leaned forward and with elbows on his knees, placed his head in his hands. He sat there for about five minutes in complete silence.

He didn't know what to do. Harry resembled him so much that there was no use denying he was his son. But he just couldn't be the father to that arrogant brat no matter whom he looked like. Not knowing what to do about the whole situation, he decided it best to go speak with Dumbledore, though he really didn't want the headmaster to be involved. But he did consider the older man as a mentor. As he rose from the couch, he remembered the headmaster was going to be gone for a few weeks on Ministry business. That was what the question was about at breakfast…if Severus could keep an eye on things and send word if anything suspicious was happening.

Sighing, Severus sunk heavily back down on the couch. As he stared at the flames in his fireplace, he decided he needed to keep busy. Keeping busy would not leave him any time to think about Harry. Satisfied with his decision, he got up and went to his private lab to begin working on the few potions Poppy had asked to have made before the school week started tomorrow.

Brewing potions for the rest of the day kept Severus' hands busy, but not his mind. His thoughts kept drifting to his memories. Every once in a while he'd catch himself smiling at one of the memories of Lily. That act actually surprised him. He didn't know the last time he smiled a genuine smile. Then when his thoughts turned to Harry, he'd scowl. He ended up scowling most of the day.

Hours later, as he sat on the couch reading a book before retiring for the night, he briefly wondered what would happen in his lessons with Potter now. He only had a few hours until he would find out.