As the weeks wore on, it became a habit of Severus' to view some of his memories almost every morning before breakfast. He still wasn't comfortable with exchanging his memories yet so this satisfied him for the time being. He usually viewed the memories that consisted mostly of him and Lily, though at times he found himself watching all of the memories; even the ones having to do with Harry. It was after viewing the memories about Harry, however, when he became extremely vicious to the boy while in class or Occlumency lessons. He didn't know how to direct what he was feeling so he always took it out on the boy in a negative manner. Not that that was any different than normal.

Today was one of the days when Severus viewed all of his memories.

Harry reluctantly trudged down the stairs towards the dungeons for his first Occlumency lesson of the week. He was not looking forward to tonight's lesson. Over the past weeks, he had begun to realize that Snape was getting worse and worse with his criticism and taunting during class and especially during his Occlumency lessons. Coming to a stop in front of the dreaded office door, Harry knocked twice. After being granted permission, Harry entered and walked over towards the potion master's desk.

As Harry sat down, Severus, who was busy grading papers, looked up and gave him an angry glare. "I do hope you read the few chapters I assigned you last Thursday, Potter. Though with your lack of intelligence, you probably didn't comprehend a thing you were reading."

Harry kept quiet and returned the glare, trying to keep his promise to himself not to care what the man in front of him was saying.

Severus placed his quill on the parchment he was reading, stood up and grabbed his wand. He slowly rounded the desk until he was on the same side as Harry. "Stand up and face me," he growled. He had been in a bad mood since the staff meeting that morning, and after mistakenly viewing all his real memories that afternoon, he was in an even worse mood. Just the sight of the Harry was irritating him immensely.

Scooting his chair back quietly, Harry stood up and faced Severus. The moment eye contact was made, Severus raised his wand and yelled the incantation to enter Harry's mind.

As soon as Snape's office blurred in front of Harry, his memories were quickly being rifled through. It seemed Snape was on a mission tonight. The first memories his professor looked for were the ones where he was in pain.

…Dudley and his gang finding him and repeatedly punching him while playing Harry Hunting…being hit by the Cruciatus Curse from Voldemort…lying on his makeshift bed in his cramped cupboard sick with the flu…falling off his broom while at Quidditch practice…Uncle Vernon dragging him through the house by his hair…breaking his arm after falling out of a tree…his head feeling like it was going to explode whenever he had a vision...

Harry tried his hardest to push out Snape, but he couldn't. He tried thinking back to what he read in the book, but it didn't help.

Snape, noticing Harry was unable to do anything, continued his searching.

…Standing in front of the Mirror of Erised looking longingly at his parents with their hands on his shoulders…learning his Godfather was innocent and wanted Harry to live with him…hugging Sirius at Grimmauld Place after almost two years apart…watching as the Weasley's parents hugged their children goodbye on the Hogwarts Express platform and yearning to experience that…watching Cedric die…watching Sirius fall through the veil…

After a while, Harry realized Snape was viewing those same memories over and over. "No. Stop….no!" he yelled. A few seconds later, Snape's presence was finally gone from his mind. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying on the floor breathing rapidly.

"Pathetic," Snape growled while putting his wand away and sneering at the boy on the floor. "Absolutely pathetic."

Shaking, and in a little pain, Harry stood up slowly and glared at the man in front of him. "Happy?" he asked sounding more upset then he wanted. Removing his eyes from the potion's master, Harry quickly started towards the office door. "I'm out of here."

Before Severus knew what was going on, his office door slammed shut and Harry was gone. Staring at the door, he knew he forgot to do something after the boy entered his office. He forgot to spell the door locked. Taking a deep breath, he turned back towards his desk and sat down. "At least I have more time to myself tonight." He then went back to grading the papers in front of him.

As he reread the first paragraph of the paper in front of him for the third time, he dropped his quill and shook his head. The incident with Potter bothered him more than he thought it should. True, under normal circumstances, he would never do to the boy what he did tonight. He couldn't really explain why he did what he did. He just knew it had to do with his real memories and his conflicting emotions. He was having too hard a time with it. Needing to resolve the growing problem, he decided he would try to come up with a solution as soon as possible.

He also knew that he owed Potter an apology, though he'd never given one to any of his students during his entire teaching career at Hogwarts. Unfortunately he had less than two days to figure out that problem.

~SH~

Not wanting to go back to the Gryffindor common room or his dorm, since he knew he'd be questioned by his friends, Harry headed towards the Owlrey after storming out of Snape's office. After finding his snowy white owl, he walked over to her and stood there stroking her feathers while he calmed down. Then, reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a treat and gave it to her. After Hedwig finished her treat and nipped Harry’s fingers, Harry returned to the doorway and sat against the threshold wall. Angry and upset over Snape's intrusion into his mind, Harry decided that tonight would be his last Occlumency lesson. Unless, of course, the Headmaster bodily made him attend.

Harry sat up in the Owlrey for another half hour before heading down to this dorm room.

~SH~

After staring at the parchment in front of him, Severus realized it was pointless to continue grading homework. His head wasn't in it. Instead he was still thinking about Harry and his memories. He then knew what he had to do.

Since the boy ran out an hour early, he had a lot more time on his hands for the evening than he planned. He placed the parchment he was reading on top of the stack on the side of his desk and set down his quill. He opened the drawer on his right, pulled out the heart-shaped bottle and walked to his quarters, extinguishing the torches and candles in the room on his way.

After entering his quarters and making sure all entrances were locked, including the floo, he sat on the couch and removed the stopper from the bottle. With a shaky hand, he withdrew his wand from his robes, removed the memories from the bottle and placed the tip of his wand to his temple.

The emotions he felt the minute he started reliving his real memories completely overwhelmed him, and he quickly lay down on his couch. He was then glad he decided to experience the memories when he had more time before he had to face anyone. The feelings were beyond anything he could have possibly imagined. He felt pure happiness, anger, fear and sadness within a span of no more than fifteen minutes.

As soon as he finished viewing all his real memories, Severus placed them back in the bottle and set it on the table in front of him, to return to his office later. He was still not ready to change out the memories.

As he lay there in shock and still trying to absorb everything he saw and finally felt, he noticed that once he took out his real memories a minute amount of emotions and feelings stayed behind. That scared him a little bit. He hoped that the small amount of emotions wouldn't grow. Since he wasn't ready, he wasn't sure how it would affect his daily life if they did grow.

He knew he had to get used to everything associated with his memories, especially the emotions, so he decided he would add his real memories to his altered ones every few days until he felt comfortable. When, or if, he felt he couldn't live without the emotions and feelings of his real memories, he would then remove his altered ones. Until that time, he would be experiencing both sets of memories and emotions.

~SH~

Remus was sitting in his office late the next afternoon, thinking about Harry. The boy had finally come to talk with him after lunch today. Remus was glad, but disappointed it took so long for Harry to come seek him out. It had been two and a half weeks since the two last spoke.

Knowing that Severus had more than likely viewed his memories almost three weeks ago and that he hopefully spoke with Harry, he expected Harry to come to him to talk about it. But, much to his disappointment, Harry never mentioned it. It didn't even seem like he knew Severus was his father. After Harry left his office an hour later, Remus decided it was time to butt in on Severus and Harry's lives.

Remus found the opportunity after dinner that night. He had barely begun eating when Severus left the Great Hall early. After the man was half way to the door, he quietly got up and followed him out into the corridor.

After closing the door behind him, Remus glancing around to be sure no students were mulling about before speaking. "I can't believe you still haven't told him," Remus said loud enough so Severus would hear him. He watched as Severus stiffened and stopped walking.

Not liking that he was being followed, and by the werewolf no less, Severus whirled to glare at him angrily. "Told who what? I haven't the slightest idea what you're on about…" Severus growled.

"You know very well who and what I mean, Severus." Remus walked up to stand beside Severus. "It's been sixteen years."

"How do you…" he began, puzzled. He couldn't figure out what Remus was going on about.

Before Severus could finish, Remus pulled out the letter he received from Lily months ago. He kept it on him every day. Severus nodded slightly, remembering Lily sent him a letter as well. "He has a right to know the truth, Severus."

"Know the truth? For all I know, it's some stupid prank!" Severus yelled, and turned to stalk away. He didn't want to discuss the matter with the man. It was none of his business. Remus, grabbed tightly onto his shoulder and forced him to stop. "Let me go werewolf," he growled.

Remus kept his grip. For a moment, he didn't say anything. "You know it's not a prank Severus." He watched the man breathe deeply a few times. "You've got to tell him! He'll probably find out on his own eventually. Haven't you seen how much his appearance has changed these past few months?" He let go of Severus' shoulder seeing the man wasn't going to stalk off.

Severus slumped against the stone wall, defeated. He knew Remus was right. That and he couldn't get over what he saw and felt when he finally experienced his memories the night before. He stood for another minute before continuing. "Can you imagine what would happen were I to tell him the truth?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Me? His father? You can't honestly expect that he'd be happy in the least."

Remus noticed the surprising change in Severus' demeanor. He walked over to the wall, leaned his left shoulder against it and crossed his arms over his chest. "You don't know how much Harry wants a family and someone to care about him. You didn't see him before I brought him to Order headquarters before start of term, or talked with him these past few months. He's given up Severus. I have a feeling that if he ever comes across Voldemort again, he's not even going to fight."

That last statement shocked Severus, but he didn't show it. He tried to ignore it instead. "I am not the type of person that can be a father," he finally stated. “I was a Death Eater. I've done more evil than I can rightly remember." Severus moved his gaze from the wall in front of him to the man standing beside him. "I'm not worthy of being anyone's parent, Remus" he said sadly. "Besides, I wouldn't even know how."

Severus stood there waiting for a sarcastic remark from Remus but none ever came. "How do you think Potter would feel? Having lived a lie for sixteen years?" Severus stood up and started pacing the corridor. After one trek, he stopped and turned around to Remus. "You obviously have taken a liking to him, what do you think it would do to him if he were to discover that his real father was a murderer? A conscienceless follower of the Dark Lord? A cruel, bitter teacher hated by the entire school?" He turned away from Remus and continued with his pacing. "It'd break him, I've no doubt that it would," he said in an almost whisper.

"I thought that might be your reason. And it just proves that you need to get to know him." When Severus' pacing brought him back to the wall Remus was lying against, Remus grabbed his arm, turning him to face him. "What do you think he'll feel once he finds out all you sacrificed by willingly having your memory altered just to try to keep Lily and him safe?"

Severus shrugged out of Remus' grip. "He's better off with his life the way it is…living with the Dursley's; and thinking his parents died so he could live."

Getting tired of standing and watching Severus pace, Remus motioned for the man to follow him and the two sat down on the steps leading down towards the dungeons. "Have you heard about the Dursley's at all? The Muggle family he lives with?"

"Of course not. I don't tend to bother with 'gossip.'"

"I've noticed," he said, earning a glare from Severus. "You really wouldn't have learned much anyway. Harry doesn't like to talk about them at all. I'm afraid I found out a little rather by accident…"

"Found out what?"

"Have you ever seen Harry getting mail in the Great Hall? Or going home for the Christmas holidays?"

"No, but I hardly see what that has to do with anything."

"The Dursley's hate magic. They think Harry is a freak and do everything in their power to keep him from coming here every year. Did you know that for his first eleven years, he had to sleep locked in a cupboard under the stairs?"

Severus' thoughts slowly drifted to the many memories he'd seen of Harry's during his Occlumency lessons last year and this year.

"I'd bet my life that they would love nothing more than to be rid of him," Remus continued. "One year, the Weasley's had to break Harry out of the house. The Dursley's put bars on the windows, like it were a prison, and were starving him."

"With the way that boy obeys rules, it's no wonder he's punished," he stated, though he wasn't sure if he believed what he just said.

Remus continued after watching Severus lower his gaze to the floor. "Over this past summer holiday before I removed Harry from the Dursley's, I watched his cousin beat him up. I don't know if you noticed the bruises on his arms those first few days of term. I think it was a regular occurrence, based on some comments he made to me. He's probably hiding other injuries as well."

Severus' head snapped up and he looked at Remus in disbelieve. "He what? He was being beaten up and you just watched?" he asked incredulously. He couldn't believe the werewolf would just stand by and watch as Potter was being hurt. And he also couldn't believe how enraged he felt at the fact that the boy was being hurt and possibly abused. Months ago, he would have felt somewhat elated at that knowledge.

Not a second later, there was a niggling thought in the back of his mind. He seemed to recall seeing some of this possible abuse. More than likely during Potter’s Occlumency lessons. He never really paid that much attention to what he was seeing, his full concentration was just on the emotions radiating off of the memories and the boy. He’d definitely pay attention now.

Remus looked at Severus with a small smile playing on his lips. He was glad that Severus was beginning to feel protective of Harry. "Tell Harry," he said seriously a few seconds later.

"I can't, you know that," he breathed.

"He's your son, Severus."

"I'm aware of that…," he stated plainly.

"Then say it. Admit it out loud."

Severus met Remus' eyes. "Fine. Harry…" The name stuck on his tongue. "Harry is my son." He couldn't believe the emotion he felt the second those four little words spilled out of his mouth.

Remus smiled at the potion's master. "Now promise you will tell Harry, and soon."

"I promise that I will tell…Pot…" he stopped at Remus' raised eyebrows. "I promise I will tell Harry the truth before the new year. Are you happy now?”

"Yes, but you must understand that I am not doing this for me. I'm doing this for Harry…and for you."

"Me?"

"Yes. You have a son, Severus. You have as much right to know him as he does you. You're both the only real family either of you has." Remus watched Severus nod his head. He then stood up, placed his hand on the man's shoulder, and then headed up to his office. He wanted to leave Severus with those thoughts.

Severus sat there thinking about all that had just happened and had been reveled. He knew it was a big step admitting it out loud that Harry was his son. But he also knew that it didn't mean he was comfortable enough to change out his memories. Plus, he decided it would be best to leave them in the bottle in the event an opportunity arose to inform Harry.

Severus continued to sit on the steps thinking until he heard students leaving the Great Hall in the distance. Then he got up and quickly descended the remaining stairs to his quarters.

~SH~

When the time for Harry's Thursday evening Occlumency lesson came, Harry was half way down to the dungeons before remembering he wasn't going to attend his lessons anymore. He quickly backtracked and headed up to the Astronomy tower instead. He wasn't sure if any of his friends noticed his schedule on Tuesday and Thursday nights, but he decided to stay away from the common room to be on the safe side.

Letting out a sigh after seeing the tower empty, Harry slowly walked to one of the ledges and climbed up on it. He rested his back against the wall, wrapped his arms around his knees and closed his eyes.

His thoughts drifted to his Occlumency lesson with Snape two days ago. The memories Snape viewed almost five times in a row were still fresh in his mind, especially all the ones with Sirius, and he couldn't stand it. He had tried so hard to forget what happened but the pain was beyond bearable now.

He opened his eyes and stared up at the twinkling stars in the cloudless night sky. After searching the sky for a few minutes, Harry's eyes landed on the constellation Sirius. His throat tightened and he felt pressure behind his eyes.

It had been the first time since that day at the Ministry that he actually looked at the constellation. During his fourth year and early fifth year, the constellation had been a comfort to him. When he couldn't see or talk with his godfather, he would go up to the Astronomy tower and talk to Sirius the constellation. It was stupid really, but it brought him great comfort. It was also one thing he never shared with his friends.

"Sirius, I need you. I could have finally had a family…something I need now. Why did you have to die?" he whispered up to the sky. He closed his eyes and felt tears building behind his eyelids. A few escaped and he wiped them away angrily. He was not going to cry.

After sitting up there for about an hour thinking, luckily with only a few more tears, Harry started down the circling stairs of the Astronomy tower. He wasn't ready to be in the company of anyone, and it would be too suspicious if he went up to his bed so early, so when he reached the bottom, he decided to wander the corridors of the castle.

~SH~

Severus sat at his desk making notes for tomorrow's second years potions lesson while waiting for Harry to show up for his Occlumency lesson. As the minutes dragged on with no sign of Harry, he started to become aggravated. He didn't teach these lessons because he enjoyed them. Quite the opposite actually. If the Headmaster didn't force him, he wouldn't be sitting there waiting for Harry to show up. He actually had better things to do instead of teaching the dimwitted boy.

After sitting there waiting for a little over an hour, he slammed the book closed in front of him and stood up from his desk. He was furious and, if he would admit it, a little worried. It definitely wasn't like the boy to not show up. Arriving late? Yes. But not showing up at all? No. He shouldn't have been worried about Potter at all. Or so he kept telling himself. But he couldn't shake the feeling. Besides, he wasn't really a Potter was he? He had finally said it out loud yesterday to Remus and to himself. Harry was his son…a Snape; not currently in name but definitely in blood.

He pulled his robes on and headed out of his office. He ascended the stairs towards Professor McGonagall's office, wanting to give her a piece of his mind, and, though he wouldn't admit his worry to her, to find out what the boy had been up to for the past hour. As he reached the floor for the Gryffindor's Head of House, he spotted Harry coming down the stairs from the Astronomy tower and begin to walk in the opposite direction.

"Potter" growled Severus from across the corridor, all thoughts now on the time that was wasted waiting for the boy to show up.

Harry's eyes went wide and he stopped walking. He stood, his back facing Severus, and was beginning to breathe faster. This was the last person he wanted to see tonight, especially after what had been on his mind this past hour.

Severus quickly stalked over to the boy, stopping a few feet behind him. "Potter," he growled again.

Chills ran down Harry's spine at Severus' voice. He had never heard his professor sound like that before. Slowly, he turned around to face his furious teacher. "Y…yes sir?" he said, voice shaking.

"Because of your lack of consideration, you will be spending the rest of November with me in detention." He walked closer to Harry and bent down so his face was level with his. When he met Harry's slightly red-rimmed and shiny eyes, his look turned to concern. It lasted only a second before he quickly replaced it with his usual scowl. "You do not want to face the consequences of pulling another stunt like you did tonight, Potter."

Harry's sadness over Sirius was beginning to turn to anger. "My lack of consideration? What about yours, sir?" he began, not caring what the man in front of him would do to him. "You're the one who keeps viewing my most painful memories over and over just for pure pleasure. I don't have to accept that." He began to walk away. "I didn't ask for these stupid lessons anyway."

"No Potter," Severus began, following Harry. "You didn't." Upon reaching the boy, he grabbed him by the arm and turned him around to face him. He moved both his hands to Harry's shoulders.

"Let go of me," Harry yelled, and tried to wiggle out of the man's grip.

Severus tightened his hold on Harry's shoulders. "If you actually cared about learning Occlumency last year, Potter," Severus began, then shook the boy a few times while he continued, "you wouldn't have gotten your precious mutt of a Godfather killed." Severus knew it was a low blow, but he couldn’t help it.

Since Sirius had already been at the front of his mind, Snape's words were more devastating to Harry than they normally would have been. Slowly, he began to break. "I didn't kill him. You did." Tears started welling up in his eyes, but he willed them not to fall, he didn't want to finally start crying for Sirius now. "You're the one that got Sirius killed."

Never seeing the boy in this state and on the verge of crying, Severus just stood there staring at him in horror. At that moment, he couldn't describe what he was feeling as he watched Harry and could feel his body shaking under hands.

"You killed Sirius!" he screamed and almost wiggled free from Severus.

Severus again tightened his grip. "Potter."

"Let go of me," he cried. Upon realizing that Snape wasn't loosening his grip, Harry started hitting him in the chest with his fists, hoping that would release him. He did not want to be there. "I didn't kill him. You killed him. You hated him. You hated him for what he did to you in school so much that you let him die." Harry began pounding harder on Severus' chest while still trying to get free from the man's grip. "You didn't listen to me in Umbridge's office. If you did, Sirius would be alive. You killed him. You ruined everything. Because of you, I don't have a family. I hate you!"

Severus didn't care that Harry was pounding on his chest, or that he'd more than likely have many painful ribs and bruises in the morning. What he cared about were those last three sentences from Harry's mouth. They stung Severus more than he thought possible and he tried to push the feelings aside. He definitely needed to analyze them later.

"How do you think the Order knew where to find you, Potter?" Severus asked quietly after a few seconds.

After letting that sentence sink in, Harry immediately stopped his pounding and fell against Severus' chest. "I did kill him," he whispered, and the tears that he had been desperately trying to hold back began to fall. "I didn't learn Occlumency. I killed him."

"You didn't kill him Potter. Voldemort, in a round about way, did," Severus responded quietly, not completely sure why he was trying to console the boy.

Harry didn't say anything to Severus' comment. He just continued to cry with his head against his professor's chest. "I killed him," he whispered a few seconds later. "Because of me, I don't have a family. I killed him and ruined everything."

Before Severus knew what he was doing, he lowered his hands from Harry's shoulders and wrapped them around the crying boy.

When Harry felt arms wrapping around him, all thoughts of who he was with disappeared. He latched onto Severus robes, buried his face in the man's chest, and began crying harder, much to the confusion of Severus. The act was something Harry had always wanted since he was little and he had never experienced it. The Dursley's never offered him any type of comfort as he grew up and now finally receiving it, he didn't want to give it up. He tightened his grip on Severus' robes and continued to cry.

The two stood like that for what seemed like hours, though it was only about ten minutes. Once Harry began to calm down, he realized where he was and who he was with. With conflicting feelings, he quickly pulled out of Severus' arms and ran to the Gryffindor common room.

Severus watched the boy run down the corridor and out of sight. He wasn't sure what happened in the last fifteen minutes or what he even felt about it. Running a hand through his hair, he turned around and went down to his chambers. He had a lot to think about.