Severus Snape headed towards the Great Hall for lunch, feeling especially grumpy and unpleasant. He had just finished teaching a class of dunderhead first-years, so it was no wonder he was in a bad mood.

  Just then Harry Potter came running from the opposite direction and collided into Snape, sending them both falling to the ground.

  Snape glared at Harry through a curtain of greasy hair. "Potter, what is the meaning of this-" Snape began and then stopped. Harry was staring at Snape with an expression of horror on his face.

  "What?" Snape snapped.

  Harry flinched, then looked back at Snape and shuddered. "Well, sir...it's just- just...your hair!" he said as if that explained everything.

  Snape sneered. "Yes, Potter, I know my hair is greasy and-"

  "Oh, it's not that, sir," Harry interrupted. "It's just..." Harry started squirming as if he had an itch he couldn't reach.

  "Just what, Potter?" Snape said irritably.

  "Your hair! It's...messy," Harry said, his hands twitching. Suddenly he grabbed the front of Snape's robes and pulled him towards Harry.

  "Potter, what are you doing?" Snape demanded.

  Harry ignored him and began smoothing down Snape's hair. For a moment Snape was too shocked to do anything, but when Harry tucked a strand of hair behind his ear he pulled away, glaring at Harry.

  Harry let out a sigh of relief. "You see, Professor, I just can't stand for anyone's hair to be at all messed up."

  Snape stared at Harry's own unruly hair.

  Harry looked at him seriously. "Yeah, I know my own hair's pretty messy, but that's why I use hair gel," he said and dramatically took a small bottle from his robes.

  For a moment there was silence. "Doesn't seem to be helping much, does it?" Snape commented dryly.

  Harry looked deeply offended. "Well, yeah, Professor, I haven't put it on yet," he said as if this were very obvious. Then, looking thoughtfully at Snape, he said, "You know Professor, your hair is pretty boring. In fact, it's really boring. Greasy, straight black hair? I mean, come on! I really think you should make it more more interesting."

  Snape frowned and opened his mouth to take points, but just then Harry's face lit up.

  "Hey, I know! A hair curler! Yeah! Oh, and you should also dye it blue. You would look so awesome, Professor! Just think: curly, blue hair...I think it would look great on you. Don't you think that would be totally awesome, Professor?"

  Once again Snape found himself at a loss for words.

  "Oh, and also," Harry continued, "I'd suggest shampoo. Lots of shampoo. Lots and lots of shampoo, Professor."

  Snape glared at Harry. "Ten points from Gryffindor, Potter, for wasting my time with your useless ideas and suggestions."

  Harry looked at Snape sadly. "I'm sorry, Professor. I didn't mean to waste your time with my useless ideas and sugggestions, it just kind of happened. You see, I've been obsessed with hair lately and have been known to ramble on about it for hours on end."

  "Well, Potter, I suggest you do some work on your friend Granger's hair," Snape said as he turned and began to walk away, his robes billowing out behind him.

  "Oh, I definitely will!" Harry said brightly. "I don't really think bushy brown hair becomes her, do you? Yes, I think layered rainbow striped hair would be much better...and maybe a cowboy hat too..."