Harry was sitting in Snapes office, trying to catch his breath. The walk from the Potions room to Snapes office, though short was both mentally and physically exhausting. He limped and staggered the entire way to the office, his muscles locking up the whole time, but it was nothing compared to his fast beating heart and is nervous thoughts. What was Snape going to do to him? He said he'd teach Harry a lesson, that meant it wouldn't be lines, would it? If it were lines Snape wouldn't have looked so happy. Harry tried to busy himself with thinking pleasant thoughts. He was soaring through the air on his Nimbus 2000, He was at the welcoming feast enjoying dishes upon dishes of deicious foods, he was standing in front of the mirror of Erised seeing his mum and dad for the very first time...

At this last thought, Harry sighed heavily and blinked back stinging tears. If only his mum and dad were alive, if Voldemort was truly dead, if Snape did not teach at Hogwarts, life would be different. No Dursleys, no scar on his head and no “boy who lived.”

As Harry began to try and imagine life with his parents, Snape opened the door and trotted in. Harry tensed up.

“Potter, I see you have followed directions for once and managed not to throw a tantrum because of it.” said Snape, sneering again, of course.

“Yes.” said Harry shortly, purposely forgetting the “sir”. He was not going to let Snape bully him around tonight. He would simply apologize for his behavior from earlier and take what ever Snape's punishment was and deal with it. He did not need insults from Snape.

“Potter, I believe you forgot something.” said Snape.

“Oh, did I?” asked Harry, appearing all the ignorant.

“Potter!” snapped Snape, not wanting to play games.

“Sir.” Harry said, feeling a bit defeated.

“Potter, we are here to discuss you actions today in my class, do you have anything to say? Or was your grand speech earlier today enough?”

Harry gave the words a few moments thought. He really did want to apologize for attacking Snape earlier, but Snape's indignant attitude was making it impossible to feel bad for him. Harry sighed, he had to make things right, or as right as things would ever be for him and Snape. “Yes...uh sir. I do have something to say.” Snape fixed him with a cold glare. He obviously was not expecting Harry to have anything to say. He wanted to jump right in to yelling at Harry and insulting him.

Harry was nervous to apologize to Snape, he had never spoken a nice word to the man becaue of the way he treated him, and he had no clue how to start. Harry looked around the room for a moment to gather his thoughts and with a deep clearing of the throat from Snape, he pressed on. “Sir, I-I just want to say that I am sorry for how I acted today.”

With this, Snape did not seem surpised. He had expected the apology. The children always seemed to apologize right before they knew they were about to be punished. But he would not hear it. He would not accept the apology of anyone who only apologized because they were in a tight spot. Potter did look quite nervous and like he did feel bad, but how many times had the Slytherins looked the same way, then committed the same incriminating act once more?

Harry looked up at Snape, he seemed to have a questioning look on his face, like he was trying to figure Harry out. Harry sighed again and decided to continue with his apology. He wanted Snape to know that he really was sorry about hurting him and that he wasn't only apologizing because he was in trouble.

“Professor, I know you think I am apologizing because you are angry and I know I am being punished. That's not it though, I promise. I'm apologizing because---” Harry cleared his throat nervously. “Because I-I-I ummm, I saw you were in errr ruh pain.” With this, Harry's cheeks grew red. He chanced a glance at Snape, but his expression was unreadable.

Snape was taken aback by what Harry had just said. Was the Potter boy really apologizing for his angry out burst and hurtful words? Did he really feel bad that he hurt him? Snape could not believe it. Harry had recognized the pained expression on his face, but what else had the boy recognized? If Potter paid attention to close detail, why did he not say anything about Snape going so easy on him this morning with only two detentions?

As if Harry had heard Snape's thoughts, he plowed on. “Professor---err sir...I know you may be surprised that I noticed, but I did see it. When I started to speak about----well ya know---about girls, you looked miserable. I am sorry about that. I know that I lose my temper a lot, but i'm not blaming myself for all of it. Professor, you hate me. I don't know why, I-I don't know what happened, but you hate me. You have been saying mean things to me since our first day of potions. That is why I was so rude to you. I mean I know it's no excuse to be mean to a teacher---er I mean professor, but still. I just want you to know that because it's not fair to have to be kind to someone that hates you and I know you hate me because when you look at me you have this look in your--------”

“Enough Potter” Snape interrupted him. Why was Potter rambling like this? Snape had expected “the boy who lived” to feel arrogant and deserving, but not hated and disliked. There was no denying it however, he really did not like the boy, but it's not like he wanted to kill the boy. He just wanted to make him miserable. Potter had tons of friends, there was simply no reason why one professor's mean looks and words should upset him. Snape felt a stab of regret. He didn't know where it came from, but he didn't want Potter to feel so---so---so singled out. He thought it was obvious he hated all little brats, just Potter a tiny bit more. Snape sighed. “Potter. Potter I do not hate you. Sure, I dislike you greatly, but I do not hate you, so stop feeling so misundersttod. You are eleven, you are too young for these teenage hormonal mood swing issues, so calm down.” His voice sounded angry and Snappish, but his face said other things.

Harry looked into Snapes face. Snape seemed to be feeling bad about the way he treated him. Sure, his voice sounded uncaring, but his eyes. That isn't what Harry wanted though. He wanted to apologize to Snape for what he did to him, not the otherway around. Yes, Snape did need to apologize for treating him badly, but Harry felt that his apology was a little more needed because of the look of pain on Snapes face during class---he could not let that slip his mind easily and apologizing would help, surely it would. “Professor, I just wanted to say I felt bad about earlier today. I was angry, but I didn't want you to be hurt. I only wanted to make you angry, I just wanted to know I had gotten to you. I feel bad. I will take any punishment from you without complaint. I deserve what ever you have thought up.” Harry eyed Snape challenging him to take the bait. He wanted this to be over. He wanted Snape to just punish him so the apologies and weird looks could stop. He wanted Snape to his usual snappish self, not feeling like he owed Harry anything for the ill-treatment of the whole first term.

Snape saw the challenge and dare in Harry's eyes, and as presumed by Harry, he took the bait. Potter did seem sorry, his voice was dripping with sorrow and his words, they seemed true enough. Snape rose from his seat, he would indeed test Potter. If Potter was indeed as sorry as he claimed to be, then he would tell Potter about what he saw in the mirror. He would tell Potter that despite the way he treated him, something inside him wanted to care for the boy. But he would not let him get choked up in a sappy love affair if he didn't need to. “Potter get up and come here. You would like to be punished, and so you will.”

Harry rose from his chair. His legs still hurt and they shook a bit as he rose. He breathing grew fast again as he walked towards Snape's desk.

“Trousers down and lean over my desk Potter.” Snape said this so coldly that Harry wondered if that pitiful looke he gave Harry a moment ago was only an act. No way could Snape have felt that bad and the next he's bending Harry over his desk to thrash him.

Even though Harry was starting to think Snape was seriously going mental, he obeyed him without hesitation or complaint. Anything to make that image of Snape's pained face to go away. He struggled to get his robes up and his trousers down. His legs seemed reluctant to bed for him. He then faced the desk and bent over it. He listened as Snape summoned a thick wooden cane. Harry's breathing got even faster. So it was going to be the cane? He was expecting the switch, maybe even Snape's hand, but not the cane. Harry put his head down flatly on the desk, he was going to take it like a guilty person should take it. He waited for the first sharp smack of the cane, but nothing happened. He closed his eyes, how unfair of Snape to play with his emotions like this. Why couldn't he start and get it over with? He flinched inward again, waiting for the thwack, but again...nothing came. He opened his eyes and stuck his head up. Snape was now standing in front of him staring at him with a look of----was it remorse?

“Potter stand up and pull your trousers up. Then go sit back down.”

Harry looked at him like he had suddenly has fire coming out of his ears.

“Potter, I said to pull your trousers up and go sit back down. Do it now or I will change my mind.”

Harry did not know what exactly Snape was playing at, but he was not going to stand bent over a desk vulnerable while he tried to figure it out. He quickly fixed his clothes and almost ran back to his chair. Snape was letting him off again, the second time today! He plopped back in the chair, thankful that he could without feeling a fire in his backside and looked up at Snape who was still staring at him.

Snape leaned back against his desk, crossed his arms, uncrossed them, started to walk back to his chair, stopped, turned around, turned back around and walked back to his chair again. He sat down in his chair and looked at Harry once more. He was truly seeing Harry for the first time. Harry had let go of his Gryffindor pride and hung his head to accept the painful punishment. He did not argue with Snape when he gave the command to remove his trousers and bend over the desk. Harry really did feel bad about hurting Snape. Well, this changed everything. He would tell Harry about the mirror then.

“Harry” Snape said, using Harry's first name for the very first time.