Harry hung his head and tugged his sleeve back down.

"Look at his face Hermione. I don't think he's joking." Ron's voice was low and solemn.

Tension so high inside of him, Harry had been unable to withhold the information from his friends once he caught sight of them in the castle, and had dragged them straight up to his room before they could even properly set foot in the Entrance Hall.

"But that... that's not possible." Hermione's voice faltered now, image of the black snake burned into her mind as it was Harry's.

Harry stood and began to pace. Draco had turned on him, and his father was trying to figure out a shaky plan at best to fix what Harry had messed up, but he needed his two best friends, the two people who had always been there for him to be there for him now.

"It's not an illusion. It's burned into my arm." His own voice was shaky.

"Why?" Ron watched him pace with wary eyes. "Did Snape force you? Is it part of one of Dumbledore's barmy plans?"

Throat suddenly dry, Harry stopped pacing and looked at his two friends. "I asked for it."

Ron stood up and drew his wand, aiming it at Harry, and Harry watched him warily. "It's not what you think."

"Tell me what I'm thinking Harry, because it just sounded to me like you said you asked to become a death eater!"

"I did." Harry sat down on the bed before his shaky legs gave out on him. "I was flying by myself in the pitch... and something stung me... a scorpion with wings. The next thing I knew I was being thrown onto a wooden X in the forest by two men and I was before Voldemort in a circle of death eaters. Harry went on to describe every sordid detail of how he bowed down and built up the beasts self image as he begged to become one of his henchmen.

"It was all I could think to do. Be branded and run away. Draco was right. I'm a coward."

Silent tears ran down Hermione's cheeks and Ron sat on his bed with his head in his hands, wand next to him on the covers.

"Does Professor Snape know Harry?" Hermione spoke first, wiping her tears away.

Harry nodded. "He wondered why I was acting snarky after Christmas."

"Christmas. What happened at Christmas?" Ron looked up, incredulous, as if wondering what else they had missed in two short weeks, and Harry set to telling them about the Christmas party, the elven dignitary, Christmas in the Dungeons, and Umbridge.

"Bloody hell." That was all that Ron managed to say before he stood up and began pacing. Harry watched him and Hermione looked thoughtful, as if she were running all of the possible solutions through her mind.

Finally Ron announced that he was hungry and Harry agreed to go down to the Great Hall with them to eat, although he wasn't hungry, especially for some kind of gray sludge or other plain disgusting food. In all fairness to Umbridge's menu though, Harry hadn't been hungry since he'd taken the mark, and he told Hermione so when she prodded him to eat.

While telling Ron and Hermione had been hard, Harry did not yet have the courage to talk to Ginny about what had happened, and Ron and Hermione agreed not to tell her without giving him a chance to first. It seemed that an explanation was immanent however when Ginny kept shooting Harry worried looks. He felt too sick of himself to hold her hand or even look her in the eyes. He felt too disgusted to say much of anything to her at all. And with a look from Hermione, Harry knew it wasn't fair to Ginny at all to just let her think that there was something wrong and that it might be her fault.

Rising from the table and taking Ginny by the hand, Harry was aware of the several pairs of eyes on him. They were the eyes of the few people who knew.

"Harry? Is everything- ok?" They were in the hall now and Harry swallowed hard.

"I have to tell you something, but not here."

She pursed her lips and said, "I know a place. Come on."

She lead Harry by the hand to the West wing of the castle and through several hidden passageways Harry hadn't known were there, and they finally arrived in a tiny room overlooking West Wood, a less formidable forest on the West boundary of the grounds that students were sometimes allowed into when supervised to find potions ingredients.

The room was small enough to have been a large broom cupboard, and was empty but for a large windowsill just big enough for the two of them to sit on next to each other with their legs hanging over the sides.

Harry sat and bowed his head.

"What is it?" Her voice was uncertain, as if she expected Harry to end their relationship right there.

"I did something bad," Harry said quietly. "Really bad. I don't think your family will allow you to see me anymore."

She began rubbing his back. "It can't be that bad, can it?"

Clearing his throat, he said, "It is."

"Well, whatever it is, I'll stick by you Harry. I love you."

Voice solemn, he said, "Don't say that... not until you hear what I've done." He sat up and pulled up his sleeve, unable even to look at the mark or the look on her face.

"Oh Harry, why?" At the choked sound to her voice he looked over to see tears in her eyes.

"I got caught again Gin... over the break. There was no way to escape. I only had two options... pretend I wanted to join them or die. I took the cowardly route. Even Draco says he wouldn't have taken the mark." He began to get choked up himself again, feeling at an all time low, and Ginny hugged him tightly then as they cried together.

"My dad says he has a plan," Harry started after a while, "but I don't know. It's not fully worked out yet and it doesn't sound like it will work."

"Can't the Headmaster come up with something?"

Harry shook his head. "He doesn't know. We've decided not to tell him."

Her eyes grew big then. "But you know Ron has a big mouth Harry. He writes mom and dad almost as much as Percy did! And you know they'll tell him!"

He sighed heavily then, wishing that he could just be content to sit there in her arms.

"Come on. The feast will be over by now and we can go down and talk to my dad. Maybe he can head off Ron's owl." His voice lacked any real enthusiasm as he put his arm around her and left the secret room, feeling as though he was being lead to the gallows.

* * *

Severus, it turned out, could not head off Ron's owl, as he'd sent it directly after dinner. He did however write a letter of his own to the Weasley's asking them to forgo speaking to Dumbledore about the matter for Harry's sake, and reassured them that Harry was still on their side.

While it was with relief that Severus read their reply and found within it that they would not be speaking to Dumbledore because it involved Severus' son, not their own, it was also with an unhappy air that he informed Harry later that day that it was the Weasley's wishes that he no longer see Ginny.

"I figured as much," Harry said with melancholy in his voice as he sat in his father's office after lunch the day after the return owl had arrived.

"It would be wise to respect their wishes for the time being, unless you want our predicament to be revealed to the Headmaster."

Our predicament? So he really was counting himself in Harry's situation. But then again, how could he not when his life was on the line just as much as Harry's.

Harry left his father's office to tell Ginny the unhappy news, but she already knew as she'd received an owl that morning just after she'd parted ways with Harry.

"We don't have to listen to them Harry," she tried at the unhappy look he wore, but Harry only sighed.

"Yes we do. At least for a little while."

"But we could sneak out."

"Ron will find out, or Fred and George, and then they'll tell your parents, and we'll both be in trouble."

"Aren't- aren't I worth it though?"

Harry looked up into Ginny's green eyes, shining with uncertainty. He took her hands in his and kissed her gently on the lips.

"You're worth anything Ginny, but right now if we don't want certain people knowing certain things, then it's best to keep this quiet and do as we're told, isn't it?" He was uncertain now too and feeling severed from the one person who had been his link to reality this year.

Ginny looked away and said, "Do what you have to do Harry, but don't forget about me, ok?"

He gave her a small smile and then gently let her hands go as he turned away.

As unhappy as Harry was to leave Ginny there in the hallway, it was equally as hard each day thereafter not to be able to sit with her or speak to her, or even write letters back and forth with her. Ron and Hermione seemed to be keeping a close eye on Harry, and Fred and George had taken to going everywhere with Ginny. The few times Harry had tried to give Ginny an encouraging look, or to catch her eye at mealtimes or in the common room, Fred or George gave him a stern look, and Ron shook his head at Harry to remind him that he was no longer allowed to do those things.

In an effort to occupy himself as the days wore on without Ginny, Harry strove to spend more time with Ron and Hermione, but they were quiet around him and too cautious for his liking. Hermione seemed tense around him and Ron distant. Harry grew more certain each day that they no longer wished to be friends with him.

To make matters worse Draco pretended to be too busy to spend any time with him (and who could blame him after Harry had slammed him into the wall and threatened him), and he and Kenai had a fight that left Kenai avoiding him as well. Harry still wasn't sure what the fight was about, but it made him feel as if he was back at square one with the brother he had come to enjoy spending time with over the Christmas break.

By the time three weeks had passed since Harry had received the mark (he had been counting in his journal), he was sure that he was hell bound. He had never felt so alone or ashamed in all his life, despite the things Severus and Kenai had done or not done in the past, and he was beginning to wonder if perhaps joining the dark side was not the way to go after all. Hadn't Voldemort been perfectly willing to accept him into the ranks? Harry cared nothing for power or glory, and while he also despised murder and all that Voldemort stood for, there was something else there. Acceptance. Wasn't that what had started Voldemort's desire for power and followers in the first place? The acceptance that he had been denied as a child in an orphanage and then later at Hogwarts had morphed into a lifelong mission of vengeance. Harry knew that he wasn't thinking rationally and wondered if the mark on his arm had done something to his mind as well, but wasn't sure.

* * *

"Harry?"

Eye's glazed over, Harry passed by his friends in the common room, ignoring Hermione's worried query.

"Where's he going?" Ginny asked quietly, standing from her seat by the fire. George had stood now too to prevent Ginny from following Harry, but gave a worried look after Harry himself.

"Something's not right," she said. "Please, someone's got to go after him." She turned to George, and then Fred, and pleaded, tears welled up in her eyes, "Please."

Fred and George looked at each other, then at Ron and Hermione and Fred stood to follow Harry.

As Fred followed Harry through the dark corridors, he could tell that Harry was off. Maybe it was the way he walked as if on autopilot, or the way he ignored anyone else they came in contact with. Finally Harry went into the boy's bathroom on the third floor near the Charm's room, and Fred pushed the door open gently behind him to see that Harry stood and stared at himself in the mirror, eyes unseeing, and tears trailing down his cheeks.

Uncertain, Fred stepped back out of the bathroom at the sound of footsteps outside, and caught Draco Malfoy walking by. "Go get Professor Snape." It was a quiet command, and Draco frowned up at him.

"You're not a prefect. Tell me why I'm supposed to just do as you say?"

"It's Harry. Ok? Something's not right." He nodded towards the bathroom door at his left and Draco gave a single nod before hurrying off towards the dungeons.

Quietly pushing the bathroom door back open, Fred was surprised and dismayed to find that Harry had somehow come up with a knife, and his hands shook as he continued to stare at himself in the mirror.

"Hey Harry, what's going on?" Fred's voice shook a little as adrenaline got his heart pumping. They'd all been wary of Harry in the last few weeks, unsure if he was still the boy they knew, but none of the Weasley's wanted to see harm come to him regardless.

"Go away," Harry said, voice cracking.

"You make it kind of hard to walk away when you've got a knife mate." Fred watched Harry's lip tremble in the mirror's reflection and swallowed hard, not sure if Harry was thinking about harming himself or not.

"Not like anyone cares now that I've got the mark of the beast, is it?"

"Hey, that's not true," Fred tried to say, but Harry only lifted his arm with the knife closer to his flesh, and Fred shook his head.

Unsure of what to do now, because he hadn't helped any by being there, Fred was relieved to hear the bathroom door open slowly behind him, and to turn to find Professor Snape standing there looking worried. He gave a questioning look to Fred and then to the knife Harry was holding near to his marked arm.

Letting the door close, Severus left Fred where he was and moved cautiously towards his son. "Harry?"

"I have to do it," Harry said, lips and voice trembling as tears streamed down his cheeks. "I have to."

"Have to do what Harry?"

"I have to get rid of it! I didn't want it!" He moved the knife closer and then backed off again.

"Just set the knife down," Severus tried in as calm a voice as he could muster, hands held up as he took another step towards Harry.

"Nobody looks at me the same," Harry said, feeling numb. "I'm not even Harry any more. They guard Ginny like I'm a murderer. I'll cut my arm off before I ever murder anybody. I'll cut the damn thing off before I work my way to hell."

"We have a plan Harry."

"NO! I'M NOT HARRY ANYMORE!" he shouted, startling his father and Fred, whom he didn't seem to notice was still there by the door.

"You're my son, and we have a plan. You have to trust me."

Harry turned then, anguish on his face. "And who am I going to trust when you're dead?! Killing you isn't much of a plan is it? I only just got to have a father! Three weeks isn't enough time."

"Give me the knife Harry. I'm here now, and you can trust me at this moment. Don't you give up on me before I even get the chance to make things right."

Hand shaking so violently now, the knife slipped from Harry's hand and hit the floor hard, followed by Harry who hit his knees and found his father right there beside him.

"I know what giving up is like, and what it can lead to Harry. Don't you be like me. I won't let you be. I'll fix this, just stay with me." Severus held Harry tightly in his arms as Harry sobbed, and Fred looked on, more sure of Harry's loyalty now then he ever was before. This was Harry Severus Potter, the one that everyone asked too much of, and the one that would do what he had to, to make things right. Leaving the father and son on the bathroom floor, Fred left to quiet the fears of his family. Harry needed them now more than ever.