Severus decided that he would take another attempt at the Enlightening Potion. It would take the better part of the night and it would be exhausting, but it meant a solid sleep, it was worth the price. He had been taking too many sleeping potions lately and he didn’t want to build up an addiction.

  It was some early hour in the morning, when he was debating adding more unicorn hair to make the color purer, that a scream made him drop the entire jar of powdered dragon teeth. Quickly banishing the concoction before it became unstable and exploded, he found himself running to Harry’s room to find the boy tangled in the bed sheets and screaming.

  It didn’t take him long to ascertain that Harry was in no real danger, just a nightmare, albeit an intense one. His first thought was to unsnarl the boy from the bed sheets. It was not an easy task, as the body would thrash violently whenever Severus touched him. Eventually the man just banished the blankets away.

  Harry sat up, his screams cut off. He looked awake, but Severus approached him slowly. “It’s okay,” He murmured, but his voice was a trigger and Harry was suddenly scrambling under the bed. Severus could hear him breathing heavily. He knelt down. “It was just a dream,” But the boy didn’t seem to be listening.

  He was curled up on his side, tears pouring from his eyes, but he didn’t make a sound. Severus watched him for a few moments and then stood up to light some of the lamps. He lit his wand to have a better look at Harry. The boy’s eyes were unfocused and his glasses were askew, Severus wondered if he fell asleep with them on.

  “It wasn’t a dream,” He whispered.

  “What was it then?” Severus debated dragging the boy out, but he doubted that would help the situation.

  Harry was shaking. “It was screaming and a bright light. A green flash. I’ve seen it before, but that was the car crash. This wasn’t the car crash. This was bad.”

  Severus pursed his lips. He shouldn’t have told Harry about the Dark Lord. The boy was only seven for Merlin’s sake. “It was still a dream. There is nothing bad here.”

  Harry looked at him properly this time. “Are you sure?” But he was still shaking, but his eyes were clearing. “I could hear screaming and I saw a green light. I think someone died. I think someone died.”

  Severus reached out and took Harry’s hand. He found the boy scrambling from the bed and burrowing himself in the man’s robes. He was still trembling and Severus placed his hands on the small shoulders, trying to stop it. He gently tried to push the boy away, but that only made Harry hold on tighter. He resigned himself to being uncomfortable for a few moments before the boy could come back to his senses.

Until then, Severus didn’t know what to say. Harry must have had some nightmare about the night his parent’s died. As unworthy as a death by car crash was, it was more preferable to telling the boy his parent’s were murdered. But perhaps it was necessary now.

  “You do not need to be afraid. You are safe here,” He tried to keep his voice soothing and he rubbed a hand along Harry’s back, to stop the insistent trembling. It seemed to work as the boy gradually stilled. Severus could hear hiccupping sobs now.

  “W-what happened?” Harry choked out. “T-tell me wh-what happened that n-night. D-did someone d-die?”

  Severus ran a hand through the boy’s messy hair. “Are you sure? Can’t you wait until morning,” Then he could get the headmaster to handle this delicate work.

  Harry shook his head, rubbing his face on Severus’ shirt. “I want to kn-know what is r-real and what is n-nightm-mare.”

  Severus felt defeated. He couldn’t lie to the boy, he wouldn’t. Not when he was just a warm weight in his arms. Not when he could barely speak because of terror and sadness. “It is all nightmare. It was all nightmare,” He whispered. Harry looked up at him and Severus could see his green eyes shining. “You have your mother’s eyes. They are so like hers,” He traced the dark eyebrows with his thumb, but he couldn’t touch the scar. “The Dark Lord came to your home when you were only one year old. Your parent’s defended you, they protected you for as long as possible. But they fell against the Dark Lord and perished.”

  “He k-killed them?” Tears fell freely from Harry’s eyes and Severus took the edge of his sleeve and tried to wipe them away. More only followed.

  “Yes, but only because they would not abandon you to him. Your mother gave her life to protect you. She wouldn’t abandon you, she wouldn’t.”

  “What does ‘abandon’ mean?”

  Severus sighed, lowering his soggy sleeve. “It means she would never leave you behind.”

  Harry leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Severus and pressing his face against the man’s neck. “Why did it happen?” He wasn’t crying as much anymore, though his voice was still weak.

  “Things happen, terrible things. And not even the most powerful wizard can predict them or stop them. But take comfort, Harry, this place is safe and everyone around you is protecting you.”

  He felt the small arms squeeze a little tighter. “Are you protecting me?”

  “Yes,” It came easily and felt unexpectedly relieving. Apparently it was also for Harry, as he relaxed fully. “Do you want to go back to bed?” He asked.

  “No, I don’t want to go to sleep.”

  “You will have to eventually,” He sighed and attempted to stand up. He instantly found himself holding the boy with Harry’s legs wrapped around his waist. He wondered how, it seemed so long ago, it was awkward to carry him on his back, yet now Harry felt natural, comfortable even, in his arms. He sat down on the bed, trying to get the boy off him. It didn’t work. So he sat down as comfortably as he could. “Do you want to talk more?”

  Harry nodded slowly. “Can you tell me about my mum?”

  Severus closed him eyes, sighing deeply. He could feel Harry resting against his chest, the boy slowly relaxing in his arms. “I met her when we were children. She lived nearby and I was the first to tell her about magic,” He began.

-

  Severus woke with a splitting headache. He knew it was directly caused by sleeping against the headboard for several hours too long. He groaned under his breath and tried to stretch his limbs, but found himself cut off by Harry using him as a life-sized pillow.

  He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep while talking to the boy. He had forgotten all that he told him, as he systematically went through his best memories with Lily. Memories he never told anyone, until now. He wondered if Harry would even remember them. Somehow it didn’t bother Severus if the boy didn’t.

  Since Harry was fast asleep, it was easy to slowly ease the child off his chest and onto the bed sheets. Severus wondered absently how long they had been sleeping, it felt like only moments ago that he let his eyes drop a little further. The lamps in Harry’s room had extinguished, so it could have been hours.

  When Severus walked into the living room, he knew it had been far too long.

  Dumbledore was seated quite comfortably in one of the chairs, idly flipping through The Tales of Beedle the Bard. There was a breakfast tray beside him and he seemed to be working through a cup of tea. Even without the old man looking up, Severus could tell he knew he was there by the smile that crept to his face.

  Deciding to keep as much dignity as possible, Severus seated himself in another chair, across from the old man, and casually poured himself a cup of tea. “Amusing book?” He asked dryly.

  The headmaster closed the book, but kept a finger in it while he reached for his own cup. “Indeed very. I would say that I am glad you have decided to partake in it, but I have a feeling it wasn’t you reading it.”

   “Very intuitive.”

  “I try,” And he went back to looking through the book, but Severus could tell he was only pretending to read. He wasn’t disappointed when the headmaster suddenly spoke. “I noticed that your laboratory is a bit untidy. I trust there wasn’t a disturbance last night?”

  Severus wondered if the old man made a habit of going through other people’s private lives. “Nothing of consequence,” He murmured, hiding a scowl in his cup.

  “Really? It is quite unlike you to leave ingredients unattended.”

  Severus knew that Dumbledore would continue to tease him until the subject was finally brought up. “Harry had a nightmare,” He said shortly and put his cup down to take a piece of toast. Though he realized his hands were shaking.

  Dumbledore was silent for a moment, his face no longer teasing, but contemplative. “Shall I guess the events of the nightmare?”

  Severus sneered, though at no one in particular. “It was the night the Potters died,” He put down the toast, never being hungry. “Trust me, it is not a lovely bedtime story, telling a seven year old that his parent’s were murdered by a sadistic madman.”

  “I can only imagine,” He said soothingly, but it made Severus only more irritated.

  “Can you? Can you? Because I am beginning to get the impression that you do all in your power not to imagine the person who has to tell Harry Potter why he has no parents,” He rubbed his temple, his headache worsening. “Not that I can’t understand. It is incredibly easier to shove the boy with his ignorant relatives until the day he is forced the information by some half-wit at your disposal. Tell me, Oh Great Albus Dumbledore, what had you imagined would happen when Harry had received his acceptance into Hogwarts and he knew nothing of the wizarding world? Who had you imagined to go and fetch him and pour to him the knowledge that his current life was a complete lie and that the truth is a living nightmare?”

  Severus was breathing hard, though he had barely raised his voice. With a jerking motion, he summoned a headache cure from his personal stores. It came so rapidly that he nearly didn’t catch it. He knew it would be more effective with food, but he was too aggravated to do more than wash it down with the rest of his tea.

  “Feeling better?”

  “No,” He snarled, though his headache was lessening.

  Dumbledore gave him a sad smile. “I do not admit to greatness.”

  “But you certainly think of yourself as pretty damned clever,” He needed another cup of tea, or maybe five.

  “I do regret that not all of my decisions have had the intended effect. But you do realize, Severus, that I am only human. I know you think me of being omniscient, but we are all lost in the dark at times. And many times my best guess must also be my best decision,” He sighed, stroking his beard and his fingers toying with the pages of the book. “The only thing that can be done is to recognize that errors of life and try to move on in a more beneficial direction.”

  Severus scoffed, but he had nothing more to say. He probably would not have rebuked the headmaster if he had more than a few hours of sleep and limbs free of stiffness. He drank his tea, though scalding, and willed himself to say something. But it was Dumbledore who spoke again.

  “I apologize.”

  “What?” It caught him off guard.

  The old man put his book down completely. “I apologize for whatever harms I have inflicted on you. Whatever burdens I have bore upon you. And I apologize for having ulterior motives in my favors and demands of you.”

  Severus gaped, he had never heard the headmaster apologize before. At least not to him, and not so direct. He found himself stammering. “I-I…uh,” He tried to catch himself. “Ulterior motives?” He had always suspected, but he never dreamed the man to admit it.

  Dumbledore smiled, more kindly this time. “I have been watching you these past seven years,” He rolled his eyes, which Severus found to be very unlike him. “Dear boy, I’ve been watching you since you came to Hogwarts as a student. I know your nature to be reserved and closed off in most relationships. But I saw your friendship with Lily and how much it hurt you to be cut off from her. I knew the effect of the war would leave you even more closed, but it disturbed me to see you carrying every mistake, every grudge, and every terrible memory with you these past seven years. When it was alerted to me of Harry’s disappearance, I chose you. Not only because I knew you would be highly qualified, but because I had hoped seeing him would spark the good memories of Lily.”

  “So you planned for him to come to stay with me at Hogwarts all along?”

  Dumbledore laughed. “Don’t give me too much credit. It is quite beyond my abilities plan every detail to this moment. I simply had the hope that you would ‘cheer up’, so to speak. I could hardly plan your reaction once returning to Hogwarts. After that, well, the pieces just seemed to fall into place.”

  Severus sighed, finding himself remarkably not angry anymore. “What pieces?” He asked wearily.

  “That perhaps a man with a prerogative to redeem himself in the memory of the mother would, in turn, give comfort to a child so justifiably desperate for it,” Dumbledore grinned at Severus’ unbidden expression of shock. “But when said like that, it hardly encompasses the depth of emotion I would expect when I see the person in question has cradled Harry Potter to sleep after a nightmare.”

"I-I..." Severus scowled. "I was not cradling him."