Sometimes hope, love, and affection can be found in the most unlikely of places. Take my brother for instance. How could I ever have imagined when I was born that I had a brother I wouldn't meet until I was fourteen and wouldn't get to know until I was fifteen? How very strange and I wonder whom it is that I do not know now, but may be related to, tied together by hope, love, and affection in the future. It makes me smile at the thought of it.

No one told my brother these things either, nor our father. He's our second father really, and none of us have the same blood in our veins, but let's not talk about that, or else the blood pixies might get hungry and climb into our ears for a snack while we're sleeping. Where was I? Oh, our little family, yes.

It didn't happen until the summer between my fourth and fifth year that our family formed, although I suppose it started long before that when Harry felt the need to leave. It was a frenzy searching for him before everyone left for home on the train, and most of the Order went crazy looking for him. Except our father, but that's for the telling later.

My name is Luna Lovegood Snape, and this is the story of my brother Harry and how he gained a family, our family. I can never know all the details except what I've been told, and I'm still amazed at the unlikely places we seemed to draw our strength from during that first summer and the year that followed. I guess I'll leave that sort of thinking to the fate sprites though, as we begin our journey.

* * *

Hunger was nothing new to him. Neither was digging through rubbish bins for food or other things he needed. Harry James Potter was a street urchin for all the passerby saw, with messy hair and khaki pants that were ripped in one knee and totally filthy. Never mind that he had somehow managed to keep his face and body clean in the two weeks since he'd run off from school. Never mind that he was the supposed wizarding hero who had defeated Voldemort four times and would likely do it again. Harry found his treasure and withdrew it from the rubbish bin in the alley of Blackpool. It was a faded blue baseball cap with small frays on the bill that he could wash in the creek and wear to cover his messy hair and scar. He'd seen the shop owner throw it away earlier that day but hadn't dared to approach the bin when there were still people about doing their shopping.

Harry stuffed the cap into the back pocket of his pants, letting the bill hang out, and walked down the alley towards the back of the deli that always threw out their day old bread and pastries. His stomach rumbled in anticipation and he hoped that today they would have the meat rolls, still warm if he got there just in time.

Leaning against a brick wall, Harry contemplated the past few weeks. As summer had approached, he had tried desperately to get the Headmaster to let him stay with the Weasleys... it was another Quidditch World Cup this year and Ron said his family had an extra ticket just for Harry. Said he needed to get Harry's mind off of Sirius for a while... Harry swallowed hard, trying to push down the feelings of guilt over Sirius falling through the veil, and the feelings of being utterly alone in this world once again. He couldn't, and brushed a tear from his face with his dirty grey hoodie sleeve.

Harry knew Ron and Hermione would be worried about him, and likely the rest of the Weasley clan as well, but Harry just couldn't go back to the Dursleys... not this summer. Not after Sirius. The previous summer had been bad enough, getting whacked about the knees or head every time he cried out in the night after a nightmare about Cedric dying, and half starving to death because he didn't have the stamina to finish all his chores and Aunt Petunia had withheld food. No, the streets were better than that.

Harry had slipped out unseen before the feast on the last night of school, unable to sit in a hall full of cheerful students who hadn't just lost a loved one. He had slapped a sticker on the side of his trunk reading ‘Weasley: The Burrow,' and had stuffed a couple of shirts and an extra pair of pants into his bag along with socks and underwear. There wasn't even room for a blanket. He still remembered the feeling of the chill spring air as he slipped from the Entrance Hall under a sky too light out for his mood and for that time of evening. And then he was gone, off into the Muggle world. He dare not go to Gringotts to withdraw money, and had only enough Muggle money in his bag to last a few days.

No one knew that Harry waited in the woods next to the platform in Hogsmead for the train to pull in and the students to board. He watched carefully for Ron and Hermione who looked uneasy as they boarded the train, and waited until the train lurched forward to run out from his hiding spot and hop onto the very last car. It had been colder than he expected, sitting on the step of the last car as they traveled South, but no one found him, and he was content to be alone with his thoughts. It was hours on the train before he spied the edges of a large city sprawling out in the distance in the countryside, and he sucked in a large gulp of fresh air before he hopped from the train and tore up his clothes as he rolled on the side of the tracks.

This is my life, he had mused. Dirty. Unworthy to keep going with the rest of them. Ripped to shreds every time I think I have something worth having.

The city had been Blackpool, a place Harry had never been before, and he was content to spend his summer here, free of the Dursleys. Living day to day had its uses after all. If Harry was concentrating hard on what to eat and being safe, then he wasn't thinking of Sirius.

The sound of an alley door banging open brought Harry back to the present, and he watched as the deli owner dumped a large tray of rolls into the rubbish bin, followed by three or four loaves of bread and what looked like a head of lettuce. When Harry was sure the man would not come back out again, he hurried over and began snatching things out of the bin. The lettuce looked salvageable and so did the meat rolls, which were thankfully still warm. Harry also snatched a loaf of bread that would be his breakfast and lunch the next day. Too hungry to take them back to the thicket where he had settled down by the stream, he slid down the dirty alley wall and paid attention to little else but his meager dinner. He was unaware that dark eyes watched him from a shadow at the end of the alley.

* * *

Severus hated Blackpool. He couldn't explain why, only that he did. It was something about the way the city felt. Dark magic had been preformed here in the past, and he knew that some hags and mages still lived in the city or on the outskirts. Rumor had it there was even a witch's commune somewhere nearby, where the witches had never been formally trained and hexed men on sight. No, this was not a city he enjoyed visiting. Nevertheless, there was an apothecary on St. Bedes ave that carried ingredients necessary to his work. Ingredients that most Potions Masters were too lazy to gather as they often appeared on a full moon, or only in hard to reach locations, and were therefore unavailable at other apothecaries.

St. Bedes Ave was a small cobbled street where no cars could travel, with dirty shop windows and tall brick buildings with apartments above the small businesses. There were several alleys leading off of it through which Severus preferred not to travel unless he needed an unseen apparation point. It was a loud noise that drew his attention to one specific alley as he passed by, but the sight of a shadowy looking teenager that held his gaze. Severus was so accustomed to being wary of teenagers up to no good at Hogwarts, that his curiosity often got the better of him out in the Muggle world when teens looked like they were headed for trouble.

He watched from a shadow as a shop owner dumped something into the trash and then went back inside. It was a minute before the cautious teen moved stealthily along the brick wall and then began pulling things from the rubbish bin. Severus' first thought was that the boy was homeless, and he squinted to make out the child's features. He couldn't be more than 14, he thought judging by his thin frame, although he could not see well enough in the shadowy alley to see if the child had any stubble.

With disgust Severus watched as the boy slid down the alley wall and began devouring what he had pulled from the bin. His stomach lurched with the thought that the child was hungry enough to eat from the trash can.

When all was gone but a loaf of bread, the teenager rose and headed in the other direction and Severus crept along behind him. As soon as the boy was out in the open sunlight however, Severus paused and narrowed his eyes, blood draining from his face as he was able to get a better look at the boy. It wasn't just any child, but Potter, the bloody-boy-who-ran-away with no thought to how his actions would affect those around him. Albus had been worrying himself sick over Harry's safety and Minerva had been on par with Molly Weasley about the boy's absence. Not to mention the brat's little friends.

Severus had half expected the boy to turn up with a new broom or something of the like at the Quidditch World Cup in a month's time, Gringotts vault half empty of Lily's savings and wearing the finest new robes. The brat did think he was better than everyone else anyhow, and Severus had been so certain that the little cretin was just being rebellious and probably staying with a friend or living in some posh hotel. The fact that he had become a street urchin, digging through rubbish bins for food in an alley next to St. Bedes Ave had never occurred to him. Furious and confused, Severus continued to follow the boy all the way to the edge of the city and out into the countryside as the sun began to set and a chill breeze began to pick up. In the distance Severus could see storm clouds coming their way, and he was sure they'd be in the midst of a thunderstorm soon.

Potter headed towards a thicket of trees and never once looked behind him to see if he was being followed as he hopped a low stone wall and trespassed on other people's property. Slowly Severus was becoming more irate than he was curious.

Through the trees they went, and finally Harry stopped beside a small stream, where he had constructed a tiny shelter big enough for only him, with branches. He pulled a tattered, dirty backpack from inside the shelter and stuffed his loaf of bread away before a shadow fell over him, blocking out his sunlight.

Eyes turned up in fear and sudden recognition, Harry tried to scramble to his feet and run, but not before Severus had grabbed the back of his shirt and held tight with strong, thin fingers.

"Well Potter," Severus spat. "Be thankful it is I who found you and not a death eater. Although by the time I'm done with you I don't imagine you'll be thankful at all."

Suddenly angry Harry grabbed at Snape's arms and hands and tried to pry them free as he struggled, even dropping to the ground hoping that if he became dead weight the man would let go, but no such victory came, and before Harry knew what was happening, he was being dragged back through the forest.

"Let- GO!"

Teeth clenched, Severus pressed onward, knowing he would be unable to apparate if the boy was still struggling and would have to use the floo somewhere or else curse the boy still.

"I mean it you big ugly oaf! I hate you! Let go of me! You have no right!"

Suddenly Severus spun on Harry and drew him close enough that Harry was uncomfortable with the warm breath on his face as the man spoke. "I have every right to drag a runaway student back to the Ministry and put him on trial for flouting over 10 wizarding laws. I have every right to put you in detention until you're thirty for the way you ran off without thought to how your actions affect others that care for you."

"You care nothing for me," Harry spat. It was the truth and he felt it in his bones that Snape always had ulterior motives for helping him.

Realizing that the boy was still, although he shook with anger, Severus took the opportunity to apparate them back to his home in Letham, continuing to drag the boy along the vacant dirt road to his house as soon as they reappeared and the boy kept struggling. "You are a deplorable excuse for a young man, and you should not expect that anyone should care for the likes of you," Severus said angrily in response to Potter's earlier question, and they struggled all the way down the road and up to the front door of a stone house with a brown roof.

Harry hoped to gain an advantage on the stairs leading to the second floor, but he was weak from hunger and fighting and the elder man held the advantage, shoving Harry roughly through a door and slamming it closed. Harry heard a lock click and huffed with anger at being so roughly deposited on the floor.

"I hate you!" Harry screamed one more time at the door, but there was no answer, and Harry hit the floor with his fist in frustration.

Suddenly Harry was startled by a gentle and familiar voice however and turned to see a friend in an unexpected place.

"Hello Harry Potter. You seem very upset with Professor Snape. Perhaps there are gorgons tormenting you and you are really upset with them."

"L- Luna? What-"

She smiled down at him as she reached forward a hand to pull him to his feet.

"Professor Snape agreed to take temporary custody of me at Christmas last year when my father disappeared. It is unfortunate that they found him a few weeks before the end of the term however. It appeared he died from a magical explosion and they're saying it's from a Eurompet's horn, but I know for a fact that it's not explosive. We've always had one in our living room. In any case, Professor Snape has agreed to take full custody of me until I turn 17. It is ever so nice of him to allow me to stay here."

Mouth hanging open at the calmness with which Luna spoke of her father's death, Harry swallowed hard and looked around the room. "You're stuck here?"

"Only in the appearance that Professor Snape has locked the door not realizing that I'm in here."

Harry shook his head in disbelief of the situation, and then Luna said, "Don't worry Harry. I'm sure everything will be fine. Professor Snape is a very nice man, despite appearances to the contrary during the term."

Feeling like he'd only snap at his friend if he opened his mouth, Harry clamped it closed and settled himself in a chair next to a table in front of the fireplace. It appeared they were in a library. Great, he thought to himself. If only I were Hermione, I'd be content to sit here and rot in the devil's library. It was with this thought that he crossed his arms on the table and buried his head in them, never more in complete despair until now.

The door flew open sometime later and startled Harry from his uneasy sleep at the table. He looked around and found an angry Snape standing in the doorway, and a serene looking Luna reading a book in a comfortable looking chair on the other side of the room.

"I did not realize you were in here," Snape said in a tone too calm for the look on his face.

Luna smiled serenely up at him and said, "I was looking for a book when Harry dropped by for a visit Professor. I was just now finishing it." She looked at her watch and then out the window and said, "Just in time too, because I love to see the sun rise over the fields."

Snape sighed then and looked tired, which surprised Harry for some reason. "I suggest you forgo watching the sunrise this morning and get a few hours of sleep. Breakfast will be on the table whenever you wake up."

"Of course, I always do like to sleep early in the morning. That's when nargles visit my dreams." She put her book down and made her way out the door past Snape, saying, "Good morning Professor," on her way out. Harry was supremely amazed at how Snape had treated her and at her calmness of being locked in a room all night. He was also surprised at how fast Snape's demeanor changed once she was out of the room and his sight fell on Harry again.

"The Order has been informed of your whereabouts, and the Headmaster has decided that you will be staying here until further notice." Harry wasn't quite sure how the man could spit out such a long sentence, but he managed and continued on, not losing the acid tone as he went. "You are allowed a ten minute shower in the bathroom down the hall. Then I expect you groomed and back in this room immediately after." From the floor in the hallway Snape snatched up Harry's tattered bag and threw it at him roughly before disappearing from view.

Harry rose, achy from sleeping in a chair all night and made his way to the bathroom, which had a grand bathtub that he would have liked to soak in for days on end had he not been given a time limit.

The hot water felt glorious on his body, and ten minutes really was not enough time to get properly clean and still enjoy the shower, but he managed to get out just in time and dressed in his other pair of pants (which was still ripped in places) and last semi-clean t-shirt. Cold creek water with no soap could only get clothes so clean after all.

Harry had almost forgotten whose home he was in when he was finally dressed and clean, but remembered all too soon as he stepped back into the library and found a bowl of porridge and half full glass of milk on the table beside a tall stack of books and parchment.

Harry stared at the porridge, wondering if it was for him as his stomach grumbled. He'd hate to gain the wrath of the Potions Master again by eating the man's breakfast. He'd just taken a step towards the porridge, just to have a closer look, he told himself, when the man swept into the room and scowled at him.

"As punishment for running away, and then making me drag you back here, you will attend summer school for the remainder of the summer, along with doing chores." He didn't pause for Harry to ask questions and continued. "You will finish each of the books on the table by the start of the next term, and will write a one foot essay on each chapter read. At the end of every five chapters you will write a two foot essay summarizing what you've learned. You are not to leave this room unless it is to do chores, use the bathroom, or go to bed, am I understood?"

Harry looked at the porridge longingly, wondering if he would get fed while he was here, and then back at the man with a scowl set in place. "Yes," Harry said through gritted teeth.

"Your trunk will arrive later today, and I expect you to look presentable after it arrives. I will not have you wearing the clothes you've managed to ruin during your little farce in the real world." He turned on his heel and swept out of the room. When he hadn't come back in ten minutes, and Harry was sure the porridge had gone cold, he sat at the table and gulped it down, hoping that it was his to gulp in the first place.

Summer school, he scowled at the fifteen books stacked before him. He supposed it served him right for letting Sirius die... for putting his friends in danger. Although he knew he deserved a worse punishment, this was at least a start.

With distaste he looked over the first five books... all potions texts, and abandoned the idea of starting with them. The next two were defensive books, and the one after that was next year's Herbology textbook. Once he was done looking through the titles he sorted through the stack and put them in the order he wanted to read them. He was a fast reader and was decent at writing essays. He had to be when he often had five Quidditch practices a week during the term and not a lot of time for homework.

Starting with a defensive tactics book, he settled in for what was sure to be a long summer.

* * *

Severus scowled down at the sandwich and half glass of juice he carried up the stairs to the boy who was ungrateful even for the porridge he had set out for him that morning. Surely the little prince would be too good for the ham and cheese sandwich he had made as well. Severus was sure he'd go up to find the brat lazing around without having done any of the homework he'd set. He was surprised then when he opened the door to find the brat halfway through a book with seven pieces of parchment stacked neatly beside him, covered in the boy's untidy scrawl.

"Lunch Potter. When you are finished you will come downstairs to start your chores." Severus nearly threw the plate down onto the table, but restrained himself as he snatched up the boy's essays and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Little wretch, he told himself. Nobody did essays that fast, and he was sure he'd have to give them back to the brat covered in red ink so that he could do them over again. He put them on his desk in his den and vowed to look them over later. He was still seething that the Headmaster hadn't even given him a choice of where the boy was to stay, and didn't think he could handle any more aggravation just at the moment.

In five minutes Potter had come down the stairs, giving the house a close looking over as he went, and in another two he had been set to scrubbing the kitchen floors, sweeping the back porch, dusting inside all of the kitchen cupboards, and cleaning the downstairs bathroom. It was an hour and a half before he finished and Severus sent him back up to the Library to do homework again. This was going to be a long summer indeed, and his patience was already at the breaking point.

* * *

"Hello Harry, reading again?" It had been three days since Harry had arrived, and everyday it was the same thing. Wake up in the tiny, sparse gray bedroom Snape had given him, ten minute shower, bowl of porridge, homework until lunch, chores until about two, and then back to homework until dinnertime which Harry also ate in the library. His only reprieve was at night when he was allowed to lay in bed in the dark without having to do or think anything. Except that he did think and often slept badly, waking in the night with dreams of Sirius being angry at him for letting him die, and Snape pushing him down the stairs and laughing when he fell and injured himself at the bottom. ‘Serves you right you little cretin. You're deplorable.' Harry almost hated sleeping.

"Hey Luna," Harry said, feeling unwell and dejected this morning. "I don't have a choice. He's set me to summer homework."

She looked over the stack of books. Harry had already made it all the way through the two defense texts, and was halfway through a care of magical creatures book now.

"These look interesting. Do you mind if I join you?"

Harry shook his head and motioned for her to sit in the chair across from him.

"It is so nice to have something to do. I've done all of my Hogwarts homework already and the grounds seem to be free of gorgons."

"You're allowed out onto the grounds?"

"Oh yes. There are miles of fields and thickets and streams. They're not all ours of course but I'm allowed to go as far as Glengarry road, and Eloise Midgeon lives there. I've heard that Draco Malfoy lives somewhere nearby too, but Professor Snape says I'm not to go that far and that no one knows I'm staying with him unless they're in the Order."

"Oh," Harry grumbled, trying to get back to his book.

Luna settled in quietly to reading for a while and then pulled a sheet of parchment over to her and Harry's quill. He watched curiously as she wrote exactly a foot in tidy flowing script, and then wrote her name on the top and set it on top of Harry's pile of essays.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked as she replaced her quill back into the inkwell.

"Writing an essay of course."

"But why? You could be outside or doing anything but writing essays."

"I know, but it seems that I'd much rather be in here with you today so that you're not so much alone."

Harry frowned. "I'm not alone."

Smiling she said, "I know, aren't friends wonderful!"

Confused, Harry went back to his work until lunch time, when Snape came up and took in the scene of Luna reading amiably with Harry. He hadn't realized they had been friends previously, and had assumed that Luna had only gone to the Ministry of Magic at the end of the last school year because Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom had gone. He had questioned her extensively about it but had not given her punishment, feeling that the death of her father was enough and he was confused as to why she didn't seem to be mourning his loss.

"Lunch Potter. Chores afterwards. Luna, your roast chicken is downstairs on the kitchen table with a bowl of fruit and pumpkin juice."

"Thank you Professor Snape." She smiled and made her way past him, almost skipping, and Snape glared down at Harry. Harry shrank back, too tired to feel angry. Snape left and Harry hungrily ate his plain ham and cheese sandwich, wondering why he couldn't have what Luna was having too.

Downstairs Harry found Luna waiting next to a mop and bucket and was surprised to find that she wanted to do his chores with him. He wasn't the only one who was surprised, as Snape peered out from the kitchen and watched as Luna mopped with the mop and Harry mopped on his hands and knees with a wet soapy rag.

Had he somehow confounded her into wanting to do menial tasks with him? It was hard to tell. Luna had such a dreamy, confounded look on her face all the time anyway. He would question her about it later, he decided, and went back to cleaning the lunch dishes.

After lunch Luna went back to the library with Harry, where she continued to write essays and Harry watched her with curiosity off and on during his own studies. Things went on in this manner for a few more days, until Harry had read through eight of the fifteen books and had written almost sixty passable one page essays. Some had been given back to him smeared in red ink, and he had taken to giving them to Luna to read over now, because he hated doing the same work twice. As the week wore on, Harry grew more and more restless and at the same time tired and unhappy. The only thing separating this from the Dursleys was the lack of physical punishment, and the fact that Luna was there with him. Still, he'd rather be back on the streets, where he didn't think about not having a family. Strange as it was, being by himself away from everyone was better than being with everyone and being by himself.

By a stroke of luck (which he suspected Luna had something to do with) Harry was allowed to begin eating meals at the table with everyone else, although he still had different food than Luna and Snape had. Harry's meals were the same daily: porridge for breakfast, a ham sandwich for lunch, and the nastiest tasting pasta he'd ever had for dinner.

At first Harry suspected that Snape had just been punishing him, but after asking Luna she informed him that she always got to choose what she wanted to eat for meals, which is why Harry often sat with a sandwich and Luna often had roast chicken or steak and kidney pie. Harry had not learned nothing at the Dursley's though, and knew better than to complain, lest what food he was given be taken away and he go hungry.

When Harry had finished his tenth book, Snape told him that he was now allowed a one hour break after chores, although he was still not allowed to go outside, and was warned to stay out of any rooms he had not been invited inside and that he was not to enter Luna's room period.

Suddenly unsure of what to do with himself during his breaks, Harry took to lying on his bed in his room, staring at the ceiling. At the Dursleys he wouldn't have had a break, but in the rare moments he had to himself, he wrote to his friends or spent time with Hedwig. She wasn't here now, and he was too ashamed to write letters to his friends, and even suspected that they were mad at him because they hadn't written anything to him at all this summer. Staring at his ceiling day after day, Harry grew more unhappy and alone, and was finally prompted by his own sadness to try spending one of his free hours downstairs with Luna. Perhaps she had a board game or something they could play.

Feeling out of place, Harry crept downstairs and scanned the empty living room, and then climbed the stairs again to see if she was in her room, which Harry was expressly forbidden to cross the threshold of. Three gentle knocks on the closed door, and then he waited only a moment before it swung open to reveal his pale friend.

"Hello Harry. Did you want to play a game with me? I was just thinking of bringing my gobstones downstairs.

Harry nodded, throat sore and dry, and watched for a moment as she began pulling things out of a dresser in search of her game. His eyes scanned the room, noticing how much larger it was than the one he was in, and that the walls were pink and purple, and there was a soft white carpet and a number of posters. The day Harry's trunk had arrived and been dragged into his gray room, Snape had told him not to even think about hanging any decorations. Harry suspected it was because the man was working on a way to get him out of his house and back into the castle or to the Weasleys so that he wouldn't have to deal with him for the rest of the summer, and therefore there was no need to settle in.

Harry sighed inwardly as he saw pictures of who he assumed were Luna's mother and father hanging on the walls. She had settled in... made herself right at home, as strange as that sounded considering this was Snape's home. Without saying anything to Luna's back he turned and trudged back down the hall to the guest room. It wasn't really his room... just borrowed, just like every place he'd ever been, always living on borrowed time. His toys and clothes had always been Dudley's old broken or torn things, he borrowed the cupboard under the stairs, he borrowed Dudley's second bedroom, he even borrowed some of Ron's old clothing and sometimes felt like he was borrowing his best friend's parents, because he had none of his own. Nothing of his own.

A few minutes later Luna appeared at Harry's open bedroom door to find him sitting on the edge of his bed and staring off into nothingness.

"Harry?"

He looked over to see that she had a set of gobstones in a pouch and rose quietly to follow her down to the living room, but he couldn't concentrate on the game and lost five times before Snape sent him back to the Library to do more homework. Luna watched him trudge up the stairs, worry in her eyes that went unseen.

* * *

The more that Snape talked, the more melancholy Harry became. Luna had tried to engage Harry in several conversations over meals in the last few days, but Snape seemed determined not to allow it, and instead kept Luna busy answering questions and talking about all manner of things. What it must be like to have someone care to ask you questions about your day, Harry thought in wonder, watching the two of them go back and forth, as if Luna had lived with the man her entire life.

Not hungry, Harry drank a little of the water he'd been given with dinner, and took a few bites of pasta, but was otherwise unable to eat, and stared blankly into his bowl as he pushed the pasta around with his fork. He didn't notice the Potion Master's dark gaze that steadied on him, having followed Luna's own line of sight, until he cleared his throat and said impatiently, "Is something wrong with your pasta Mr. Potter, or perhaps you'd rather be eating out of a rubbish bin?"

Looking up into the man's eyes momentarily, Harry wondered why the comment stung so much. Perhaps it was just because he knew the man was doing the bare minimum to keep him alive, although that bare minimum was a far sight higher standard than what the Dursley's kept. Harry couldn't help but feel an ache of jealousy of the attention and privilege that Luna got. He was sure the man hated children period and didn't want to take Luna in, just as he didn't want Harry living with him, and yet, she was treated with so much kindness... affection even.

Clearing his throat Harry said quietly, "No sir. It's fine sir." He went back to staring into his pasta, disgusting as it was, and forced another bite down. He couldn't bring himself to finish, and when Snape and Luna were done, Harry left the bowl there and went straight to bed, though he didn't sleep more than an hour, mind unable to conjure any pleasant dreams.

* * *

"Oh, it's a lovely house Professor. Eloise's mother has decorated in all greens, which is sure to keep the Nargles away, and there are pink helgin flowers in the front yard, which is sure to draw in pixies during the summer to sprinkle the house with magic dust..." Harry dusted the mantelpiece in the living room, listening as Luna chatted with Snape in the kitchen as he fixed lunch. She had been allowed to go out today and Harry had not, again. He might have had the time if he hadn't had to do chores, and then maybe he'd have something to tell, not that the man would listen. Luna might, but it seemed as if Snape was trying to keep the two of them apart. Luna was no longer allowed to do homework and chores with him. As Harry moved into the next room to dust, he wished that just one person... well, one adult anyhow, could just once treat him with the respect and kindness Luna was receiving in the next room. What was it like not to be ignored or looked down upon? When he'd run away this wasn't what he'd dreamt his summer to be like. If he wanted to be ignored, set apart and set aside to do chores, he would have just gone back to four Privet Drive.

Severus pulled out the mop and bucket, several rags, cleaning solutions, a spray bottle and a sponge, and set them in the middle of the living room floor. Stupid brat, too good to eat what he was given. He should have been grateful that he'd been pulled off the street and no longer had to eat contaminated food from a garbage bin or sleep in the cold in the woods. But no, he had decided to ignore the food prepared for him time and time again and let it go to waste. Severus wasn't made of money after all, and the brat would learn not to treat the things given to him so lightly.

"Potter!"

It was a few moments before there came a shuffling of feet down the stairs and the sixteen year old boy with messy hair appeared at the entrance to the living room, looking expectant. He watched the boy's eyes roam to the cleaning supplies and was surprised when the boy didn't wait for instructions and instead moved to pick up the bucket and mop, even though it was a good three hours earlier than his daily chore time.

"I want this entire house clean by the time I come back with groceries, am I understood?"

"Yes sir." The response was quiet, but there. He crossed his arms and glared at Harry, who turned around and repeated his response louder.

"No dust, no dirt, no streaks on the windows, nothing."

Harry separated out the cleaning supplies then and began to sweep, not in any hurry. Severus gave him one last glare and then disappeared with the shopping list in hand. He'd only be gone an hour, and knew it wouldn't be enough time for the whelp to finish the house, but it was a good start to a punishment, and heaven help the boy if he came home and the brat was lounging around as he often did in his hour breaks.

Feeling tired, Harry relaxed marginally when the man disappeared out the door, and continued to clean the living room, kitchen, dining room, and downstairs bathroom, before he saw another door he hadn't paid much attention to before and opened it. There were stairs leading downwards, and Harry wondered if he was meant to clean the basement as well. The professor did say the entire house, didn't he? Deciding it was better to be safe rather than sorry, Harry took a rag and spray bottle downstairs, closing the door behind him. There was a light switch at the bottom of the stairs, and once on the light revealed what looked like a decent makeshift potions lab. There were two empty cauldrons on a workbench, and a bubbling cauldron full of purple liquid on the floor in the middle of the room. Deciding to be extra careful, not knowing what was in the cauldron, Harry began dusting every nook and cranny, not looking forward to having to bring the broom and mop down to take care of the dirty floor later. It looked as if the floor had not been cleaned in weeks and would take extra care.

Noticing the weak light filtering in from a small, high window, Harry took a stool over and stood on it so he could get to it above the workbench without disturbing anything, and began to clean it, scrubbing hard to get rid of what looked like a potion gone awry, or at least he hoped that's what it was, because the other option was dried blood.

There was a thump upstairs suddenly right above Harry's head, and startled Harry lost his footing on the unstable stool and toppled over, hitting his head on the side of the work bench.

There was a tinkling of glass beside him and he groaned as he tried to sit up. Something sticky met his fingers when he reached up to his wound and he winced as he touched it. Now there really was blood to be cleaning up. Trying to stand and feeling unsteady on his legs, Harry coughed once and looked to the broken glass. Purple and brown liquid had mixed together there on the floor and were letting off a noxious odor. Coughing more hardily now as it seemed more of the liquids had a chance to mix, Harry stood and stumbled just far enough to get out of reach of the unknown potions before he collapsed on the floor again, and his world went dark.

* * *

After unloading two armfuls of groceries onto the kitchen counter, Severus looked around and listened. At the silence he heard he narrowed his eyes and went into the living room, where the cleaning supplies appeared to be in the same place they had been when he had left forty five minutes before. Thinking that he would catch the boy at being lazy and punish him again, Severus trudged up the stairs and threw open the brat's bedroom door, only to find it empty. The library down the hall was also empty, and the bathroom door stood wide open, revealing nobody.

"Luna?" He knocked on her bedroom door and waited for it to open, afraid to burst in on her as he had done with the boy's room, because he didn't want to catch her unawares in a state of undress. As unnerved as he was to have the Gryffindor brat in his house, he was almost unnerved more to have a female student in his house who was now in his custody.

Her door opened a moment later and she stood there looking up at him expectantly. "Yes Professor Snape?"

"Where is Potter?" His voice was flat and she raised her brows, not used to hearing that tone from him, at least not directed towards her.

"I don't know Professor. I haven't seen him yet this morning."

Suddenly angry, Severus strode down the hallway to the window at the end to see if he could see the boy in the yard or fields beyond, but couldn't, and scowled.

"He has run away again," he said in anger, talking to himself. Turning to Luna he said, "If I go now, I may be able to find him. Stay here until I return."

"Yes Professor," she said, the dreamy quality in her voice gone suddenly. She heard the front door open and slam closed down stairs and knew that he was gone. Worried for Harry, she went down stairs to wait, sad that he felt he had to leave.

* * *

Thirsty. Dark. Thirsty. Pain. Ow, crap that hurts!

Harry cracked open his eyes and let himself be disoriented for a moment, wondering where he was and why the world was sideways before he struggled to his feet, fell, and then started to crawl up the stairs, swaying several times before he made it to the top, mouth so dry he felt like he would die of thirst.

Reaching above his head as his world swam, Harry opened the basement door and crawled out, coughing.

"Harry!" Somehow Luna was at his side in an instant, and helping him to his feet and then over to the couch. "What happened?" she asked, allowing him to lie down.

"Not sure," Harry croaked, and then asked for water. Luna disappeared for what seemed like hours and then returned with water and a wet cloth. Harry gulped it down in a hurry although it burned his throat, and then felt a cool cloth being rubbed painfully across the gash on the side of his head.

"Hold still for only a moment," she said. "I have to clean it out so blood pixies don't infest it."

Confused by her statement he frowned and listened as she told him that Professor Snape was out and she was sure he'd fix him up in no time once he got back in. Harry hoped so, because his head was throbbing horribly, and he felt like he wanted to throw up from the room spinning. His throat continued to burn as well and he was sure whatever had accidentally mixed in the basement was toxic.

"What happened to you? Professor Snape thinks you ran away. He's out looking for you now."

Running away, now that was a good idea. Harry paused in thought; of course he had already tried that, and knew how it had worked out. Not well at all. "Was cleaning the basement," he said, throat searing in pain. "Fell, hit my head. Potions spilled."

"Oh no," Luna said quietly. "I don't think you were supposed to go into his private lab. I'm sure all will be well in the end though." She lifted his head gently then and sat down, placing his head in her lap so she could continue cleaning the dirt and blood from his face without kneeling on the floor. Hours passed like this and Harry faded in and out of waking dreams and sleep, Luna gently shaking him awake every now and again, telling him she was sure that if Snape was there he'd say not to go to sleep. This was how Severus found them when he threw the front door open and stormed in after having searched far and wide for hours as it grew steadily darker outside. The sight of the brat lounging around on his couch with his head in Luna's lap after he had run away only made things worse.

"Ungrateful! Disrespectful! Irresponsible! Never, in all my life have I met someone as deplorable in character as you Mr. Potter. You continue to astound me each and every day!

Luna looked on in wonder as Harry's eyes glazed over at the sight of the raging man. He tried to sit up with Luna's help, tried to stand, but his knees buckled and he hit the floor, just barely missing the coffee table.

"I think there's been a misunderstanding Professor Snape. After you left Harry came up from the basement. It seems he had an accident while he was cleaning. See, he's got a gash here, and he says his lungs are burning from fumes. I'm not sure, but I think he might have hurt his ribs as well."

Still breathing heavy, Snape seemed to be working things over in his mind. He gave Harry a close looking over, and then turned promptly and walked away up the stairs without a word. In the distance they heard a door slam, and then nothing more.

"Perhaps he's gone to get some healing potions," Luna said hopefully.

Harry, still dazed pulled himself up onto unsteady feet, and then said, "I don't think so Luna." He was quiet for a moment as he tried to steady himself, and then said, "Nothing I shouldn't have expected." Stumbling a little, he made his way to the stairs and carefully made his way up and to his bed, where he collapsed face first onto his pillow and felt like crying himself to sleep. In the night when he awoke to throbbing pain in his head and a new pain in his back where he hadn't realized he'd been injured, Harry felt sadder than ever to realize one inescapable truth: he had no one that cared, expect perhaps Luna. He hated who he was, and he was not at that moment or at any point in his remembrance, who he wanted to be.

Harry stumbled down the slope leading away from the house and barely caught himself in the early dawn light. It was chilly outside for this time of year, and he shivered as he turned to give one last look at the dark house where he was unwanted. Deplorable. Ungrateful. That's what Harry had been called. Had he once complained? Hadn't he done his chores and homework? Disrespectful. Irresponsible. Had he mouthed off once? Had he run away again? No, there was nothing for him there, not even a healing potion or stomach calming draught. He'd been up twice in the night to barf in the toilet from his nausea, and had sat sobbing on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, wishing he had just one person who would look out for him... pick him up and tell him it was going to be all right. But there was none of that now.

Coughing as his chest felt too tight and his throat continued to burn, Harry turned and disappeared down the hill and towards the unknown, his wand his only possession now. He just wanted to disappear and never return, not to the Burrow, not to Hogwarts, not to anywhere. There was no place for him now but Voldemort, and then perhaps death.

* * *

He was sure he'd walked for days. He felt dazed and confused, and his body was doing strange things. It wasn't that his head still throbbed and sometimes bled from the gash if he got to moving too fast, nor that the rest of his body ached or burned. No, things were happening that felt ominous. Yesterday he had almost peed himself because he hadn't even realized he had to go until the last possible second, and twice he thought he heard voices calling after him. In the night, camped under a bridge or in another thicket of trees, he woke and squinted into the darkness to see shadows flitting around him, but when he lit his wand, there was nothing there, and he sat terrified for the rest of the night, as if something was coming after him that he couldn't escape. It left him with a sense of urgency to move farther and faster, and never to go back, so that's exactly what Harry did. Sometimes he ran until he could run no further, lungs burning and legs weak. Other times he walked well into the night, or doubled back and chose a different route, feeling perhaps as paranoid as Uncle Vernon must have felt when he had packed up the family and tried to escape the delivery of Harry's Hogwarts letters.

On the fourth day Harry threw up what little he had taken from a country windowsill to eat, and retched until his body was overtaken with shaking that he felt would never stop. As strange as it was, as he lay in the middle of a field high with tall grasses, shaking uncontrollably, Harry remembered something that escaped him thus far. It was only a snippet of a conversation that he hadn't understood at the time as a first year, but it all seemed to click into place suddenly.

He had been laying in the Hospital Wing after the incident with Quirril and Voldemort, and was roused by sleep in the night to hear the Headmaster and Snape talking.

"Had I known where he was going, I would have prevented it."

"Yes, yes, while small, he does seem intent on making it hard for you to keep your promise, does he not?"

There was silence for a long moment, in which Harry lay very still, wondering if the two men knew he was only feigning sleep.

"I did not realize you knew about the promise."

"Yes, well, with how well you knew her and your devoted protection of Harry, one could only guess your intent and the cause..."

Harry frowned. The her spoken of must have been his mother, and Snape must have promised her to protect him. Harry didn't know why, but was sure now that the man had failed miserably. He wouldn't even help Harry when he was injured, and seemed to take pleasure in constantly belittling him. Why him mum? Harry was finally able to get the shaking under control as he looked up at the ominous sky in question, clouds dark and heavy with unshed rain. He knew he would never know the answer to his question, and was only more determined to not be caught again and dragged back into his own private little hell.

Standing on shaky legs, Harry shivered in the cold and looked down at his thin, dirty red t-shirt and torn jeans. There was a hole in his left trainer now as well, and he felt as dizzy as ever.

Staring off into the distance where fields could be seen in every direction, Harry made a wide circle, hopped a fence, went twenty or so yards, doubled back, hopped the fence again and went in the other direction. He wasn't really sure why he had to do it aside from the feeling that he couldn't shake that he was in fact being followed.

As the sun began to set a few hours later, Harry was at the bottom of a small hill covered in grass. He'd walked through a city and come out the other side back into the country. He was searching for a suitable place to sleep, preferably with some shelter seeing as how it was starting to sprinkle now, when a shadow flitted out of the corner of his eye. Wand out, Harry spun and his heart beat so hard that the gash on his head began to throb again. He saw nothing, and wondered what had happened.

A second shadow came into view in the other direction, and then a third, and before Harry knew it, they circled him and then shot straight up into the air before disappearing into the clouds high above.

Harry stared up into the clouds, the hand that was holding his wand feeling weak now as he wondered what the shadows were and if they were coming back, or if he had just been imagining them. Big wet drops fell and hit his face for his trouble, and as his stomach grumbled with dread, his attention was drawn suddenly to a darker, more defined shadow in the close distance. Even while Harry's glasses were wet with water and his vision blurry as it had been for a few days now, Harry knew it was Snape. They stared at each other for a few moments, and then Harry turned and ran uphill, legs feeling as if they would give out any minute now. A brief glance behind him showed the other wizard running fast after him and gaining ground faster than Harry would have liked. Harry was so tired of running. He didn't want to run, but he could no longer handle people who cared nothing for him.

Harry doubled over at the top of the hill able to go no farther. He was so tired. So tired.  "I can't," he panted, tears springing to his eyes from the pain of his damaged lungs and throat, but more from knowing he would be taken back. Back to being alone in the midst of another family he would never belong to. He looked up to see Snape panting heavily ten feet away, hands on his knees as he too tried to catch his breath as the rain beat down on them, unrelenting and unforgiving.

"Stop running," he said surveying the drenched boy with a critical eye. There was blood running down the side of Harry's face again and his wet hair stuck to the sides of his head.

"Why?  So you can just take me back there again?  Treat me like dirt?  You don't care what happens to me. Nobody does. Just let me go... I've got nothing to gain by going back with you." It hurt to speak, and the second half came out as a croak. Harry looked to his left, wondering what his chances were of escaping now.  Severus didn't miss the look the boy gave to his surroundings.

"You're right," Severus mocked angrily.  "Poor prince Potter who nobody cares about.  You're not the same boy rules are constantly broken for.  Not the same boy the Headmaster and his Head of House worried themselves sick over after he ran away.  You don't have friends that fawn over you and your celebrity."

Harry stood up and made one last sprint away from Snape, but the man bounded forward on his long legs and practically pounced on him, taking him down to the ground.  Harry lay there face down in the mud and grass and began to cry.  At that moment he thought he'd rather be dead than have to go through this all over again with this man.

Severus thought he must have hurt him when he'd tackled him and got off of him quickly, but Harry didn't stop crying.  It unsettled him.  "Where are you hurt Potter?"

Harry didn't look up at him or answer.  He just lay there and continued to cry for long moments.  When Severus asked him again, Harry said, "It doesn't matter, why bother asking?"

"You are my responsibility."

Harry did look up at him at that.  Thunder rolled somewhere in the distance even though the rain stopped beating down on him as hard as it had a few minutes ago.  "I know about the promise you made to protect me," Harry said, and Severus stared at him.  "I wish you wouldn't have.  I wish you would just let me die already."

Severus felt like he'd been punched in the gut.  The boy wanted to die?  He knew about the promise he'd made to Lily all those years ago?

"I free you of the promise.  Just let me slip away.  Please."

There was something in Harry's tone... something in the way he begged.  He seemed desperate, and Severus didn't understand it.  He had a safe place to live for the summer... food, a roof over his head.  Why would he want to go back to live on the streets again?  He swallowed hard.  Was he that horrible to live with?  Perhaps.

"Please."

Harry seemed less like the insolent, insubordinate child he was used to dealing with then, and more like a broken young man who was resigned to death.  Perhaps he was more emotionally damaged than Severus liked to admit.  Perhaps he'd had reason to run away before.  Perhaps he had reason to now.

"I- did not keep that promise as well as I should have," Severus admitted.  He'd always done the bare minimum to protect Harry.  If he was alive, he had done his duty, or at least that's what he'd always told himself.  But if Harry wanted to die, then he wasn't really alive, was he?  Just existing.

Harry burried his face in his arms, totally soaked.  "I can't keep going like this.  I've got no one.  I'm always alone."

Severus sighed as he stared down at the injured teenager.  "Then let me make you a new promise.  You won't be alone."

The words were a lullaby Harry had waited to hear his entire life, but Harry couldn't let himself believe them.  He always had been, and always would be alone.  It was just something he'd come to accept.  Finally too exhausted to stay awake any longer, cold and wet, and injuries sapping his strength, Harry passed out.  He was unaware that a man with black hair who was suddenly feeling guilty and ashamed had scooped him up from the mud and apparated him away to a warm, safe, and dry place.

Harry startled awake mid apparation and as soon as they reappeared in front of the house he struggled to let Snape know that he needed to be let down, surprised that the man had been carrying him in the first place, conscious or not. Severus let him down and Harry fell to his knees on the grass and threw up, crying out at the pain in his throat. After a moment, there was a hand on his back and another hand lifting him from around the front, a strong arm pulling up under his armpit. Harry tried to stand, but now that there was someone to help him, he really was too tired to keep going, and his knees buckled as if reading his mind. Snape caught him before he fell all the way to the ground however, and after a few moments of struggling, had Harry up the steps and through the front door. Looking tired himself, Severus deposited Harry on the couch and made sure he was lying down before he moved off.

Watching the ceiling spin, Harry wondered if he had actually fallen asleep and woken again before Snape came back with an armful of things, including several phials, two tins, a cup of water, and a wash cloth.

"I will need to run a diagnostic charm on you before I can give you any potions," Snape explained as he waved his wand and then incanted something low under his breath. Harry squirmed for a moment as a tingling sensation swept through his body, but stilled again when it vanished as soon as it came.

Without stopping to tell Harry what damage there was to his body, the Potions Master uncorked two phials and mixed the potions together before helping Harry to swallow them, and immediately handing him two more potions to swallow. Harry coughed, but the pain in his throat lessened slightly with the last potion. Some of the throbbing and dizziness subsided as well, but Harry was still feeling very unwell.

"Infection has set into the gash on your head, and it looks as though you have a concussion. This will likely hurt for another week. There is some damage to your lungs and throat from prolonged exposure to the toxic fumes from the potions that were spilled and mixed together. I believe with rest and the right potions that you will heal completely in a few weeks however."

Still not quite sure what was happening with his body, and if it would be important to his healing to reveal these things, Harry felt uncomfortable and cleared his throat to some pain.

"Yes?"

Harry's eyes flitted up to the older man's black ones and then back down with a frown.

"I... my body... well, it's different." Harry paused, expecting to be yelled at for being incoherent, but he wasn't and so he cleared his throat again and continued.

"I saw shadows every night, and well, once I almost had an accident."

"An accident?"

Harry reddened a little and Snape sat up straight from where he sat across from Harry on the coffee table.

"The scans indicated you are exhausted, dehydrated, malnourished, and that your body has been in and out of shock with your injuries and exertion. That is perhaps normal given the circumstances. The shadows that you saw were not an effect of this, but were from the spell I used to track you."

Harry let out a breath, glad that there was nothing seriously wrong with him.

"You will likely be sick for many days with the infection incurred during your... travels, and I cannot heal all of your injuries fully with potions until it is gone, which means that the fracture in your ribs will have to wait. You will need to stay in bed as much as possible. I can take care of the contusions with a salve and continue to give you potions for the damage to your lungs and throat."

Mouth too dry suddenly, Harry nodded and croaked, "Thank you."

Severus handed him the cup of water he'd brought with him then and said, "The dry throat is a result of the potions doing their work on the infection. You will need to rehydrate frequently, as the potion serves to dry things out."

Realizing that he was still soaking then from the rain, Harry pulled at his wet shirt and struggled to sit up, wondering if he could get changed by himself, but felt overly weak and fell back to the couch.

Giving a wary look to the stairs through the door behind him, and then back to Harry, Severus cleared his throat and gave Harry a determined look. "You need to be in bed and in dry clothes. It will work out better for both of us if you allow me to do what I need to do to make this so."

Harry nodded, just wanting to be dry and asleep, and flinched a moment later when Snape reached towards him and put his hands under Harry's legs and shoulders to lift him. The man paused and gauged the fearful look in the boy's eyes before he cleared his throat and asked, "Are you ready to continue?"

Turning red because he had flinched back, Harry nodded and mumbled quietly, "Yes sir." Before he knew it he was hoisted up in the air and being carried up the stairs and into his gray, but blissfully warm and dry room. Perhaps he had taken it for granted... was ungrateful for what was given to him.

When Snape lay him on the soft bed on top of the gray covers, and vanished Harry's wet shirt, pants and undergarments, replacing them in a split second with dry pajamas with another flick of his wand, minus the shirt, Harry closed his eyes and tried to pretend that he could go to sleep in that split second to avoid feeling embarrassed.

"I need to put the salve on the contusions on your torso."

Harry opened one eye and then really did want to go to sleep, but could not, so instead he decided on conversation to make things feel less awkward as the man unscrewed the lid to one of the tins and revealed bruise balm.

"Where's Luna... was she- was she mad at me?"

"She is worried. I sent her to stay with Eloise Midgeon and her parents while I was away looking for you... I will call her back in a few days." He pondered on the fact that the boy seemed to care what Luna thought. Perhaps he thought of her in a romantic way? That disturbed Severus, perhaps only because she was in his permanent care until she was seventeen, and he did not want to deal with suitors. Deciding to find out, he asked, "I did not realize you cared what she thought." He began rubbing the bruise balm into a rather large bruise across Harry's shoulder and tried to gauge the look on the child's face. He looked thoughtful.

"She was nice to me," he said finally. He wanted to add that he didn't get much of that, and so when he did he was grateful, and often cherished those few people who were kind to him, but his throat tightened up at that thought, along with his fists, and he swallowed hard to rid himself of the want to cry just then. Severus noticed the boy tense and waited to continue with the balm until he relaxed, which was only a few moments later.

"Here, drink this." Harry accepted the help to lift his head and drink the cool water being offered to him, and then let his head fall back to the pillow again.

"We're done for now. Try to get some rest. I will be in to check on you later."

Severus rose and took with him the empty drinking glass, pausing in the door with a question that needed answering. Would the boy run again? He could not rid himself of the look of hurt and pleading the boy displayed on the hill in the rain. He could not hope to understand why the boy was weighted with such burdensome feelings, and yet could not bring himself to ask. As he watched the child's chest rise and fall, he realized his chance had passed, as he was already asleep. He turned the light off and left the door open as he went to lay down himself.

* * *

Severus was aware of the wide eyes following him around the room as he looked for a suitable change of clothes to put Harry into for the day. When he glanced over several times, there was a curious frown, hardly enough of one to notice at all across the Gryffindor's face, almost as if he were trying to figure something out.

It had been three days now since Harry had been brought back and laid in the bed, and the pajamas needed to be taken off and washed, yet Severus could find nothing nice enough to put on him. Most of his shirts were torn or had holes, or were just too big, and the pants were all in the same condition.

"What Potter?" Severus finally could no longer take the staring and turned with his hands on his hips to the boy who was half sitting in the bed, propped up with two pillows.

"Sir?" The voice was a lot more solid now that the throat and lungs had better started to heal. No longer uncertain and scratchy.

"You have been staring at me for five minutes." At this the boy averted his eyes and Severus dropped his arms, turning quickly and grabbing a red t-shirt shirt with small holes around the collar, and a pair of pants. "Put these on," he said, handing them to Harry. "I will be back with your lunch shortly." He could feel Potter's eyes on his back on his way out, but tried to ignore it, and went downstairs. It was not long however before he was running back up the stairs and into the room; less than two minutes in fact, for he had heard a large thump and a grunt of pain.

Eyes evaluating the scene quickly, he found the boy on the floor, shirt in hand and shaking as he tried to pick himself back up again. Without thought Severus swooped down and lifted the child from under the arm pits, placing him back in the bed. Obviously he was still too weak to stand on his own.

"Fell," Harry said, hands shaking seemingly of their own accord now. His eyes rose to meet his Professor's, curious about what snide remark was going to make it's way out of the man's lips, but none came.

"Your hands are shaking."

"What?" He looked down to them, and then clasped them together. "Oh."

Severus stooped down to pick up the fallen article of clothing and then motioned for Harry to lift his arms up, which he did, and then Severus began pulling off the pajama top and quickly helped him into the clean shirt. He didn't realize that the boy was staring at him again until he stepped back to look for the khaki pants.

"Potter... you're doing it again."

"Doing what sir?"

"Staring at me. I require an explanation. Now." He had become impatient with the game and was unwilling to let him forgo an answer a second time.

Clasping his hands together again, perhaps in an attempt to still the shaking once more, Harry looked down and then said, "Well, it's just that... well, you've been helping me a lot in the last couple days."

"And this warrants staring how?"

Harry looked up into his black eyes. "You never did that before. I- I didn't think you would." His eyes slowly made their way back down to his knees again. Harry kept waking in the night from nightmares and Snape was always there moments later with a wet wash cloth to press to his feverish forehead. This was the first morning he'd woken without a fever, and the Professor had been able to give him potion to mend his cracked rib and help speed up the healing of the other cuts and scrapes across his body. He suppressed a shudder when he remembered that last night had been a particularly nasty nightmare in which he'd actually woken up screaming.

When he realized that the Professor was still there, just standing there quietly, Harry looked up to find the man's features fallen somehow, defeated, uneven. It was unnerving to see someone who was always so composed lose their composure, and Harry had the feeling that it was something the man prized, to never lose self-control. He even made his angry outbursts seem intentional most days.

In the next moment the Professor sat down on the edge of the bed next to Harry, surprising him, and Harry realized how tired he looked.

"I have been that bad to you, that you did not expect basic help with your injuries?"

Swallowing, Harry said, "No- I just... when you came back and I was hurt, you... well- I'm sorry." He hung his head, not sure what to do, and apologizing had always been the only course of action to avert danger or trouble at the Dursleys.

"What for?"

"I didn't mean- you've been real nice to me now."

Severus eyed him closely as the boy continued to struggle with words. He did not consider that how he had treated the boy in the last few days was nice... tending his wounds was just what had to be done. The unbidden images of the boy thrashing about in the throws of terror the night before came to mind, and he recalled some of the things he had screamed. He pleaded in his sleep not to be sent back... seemed so sure of certain doom if he returned to Little Whinging.

"Is that why you ran away? The first time," he clarified as the boy looked up. "You take such small things as large acts of kindness to you, which means you can't have been shown much kindness in your life. I heard you talking in your sleep last night." More than talking actually... Severus had stood for almost five minutes listening to the boy's nightmarish pleas.

Long moment's passed, and Harry's eyes glazed over as he looked off at nothing across the room.

"Harry?"

Harry looked over at him then and with a choked voice asked, "When is Luna coming back?"

Severus straightened up. In not so many words Harry had just told him explicitly that he did not wish to talk about it, and Severus wondered just how many of his questions would go permanently unanswered.

"I will retrieve her tomorrow if you wish it."

"Yes," Harry said quietly. When Severus stood up and left the room a moment later, closing the door behind him, Harry said in a very small voice, "I wish it."

"Where did you find me?"

Harry had most of the strength in his legs back now that Luna had been around for a few days to sit on his bed and play games with him before leading him downstairs and outside to the fields for some fresh air. He was tying his shoes with some difficulty because his hands were still shaking from being weak and from the effects of the potions still being used to heal his lungs and throat, and Severus had knelt down before the bed to help tie them.

Severus looked up, and then moved on to the other shoe. "A surprisingly short distance from here considering the distance you traveled. You were only beyond the second town from here."

"Sir?"

He finished tying the second shoe and gently slapped it to let the boy know he was done.

"If you had not backtracked or gone in circles as much as you did, you might have gained twice the distance."

"Oh." He really didn't want to be caught, that and the fact that he felt lost and turned around so often with his injuries and dizziness.

"Often the tracking shadows could not pinpoint your location until dusk when you slept, and even then I followed their paths back and forth and in circles each day."

Harry stared off into nothing and the boy seemed so deep in thought that Severus thought he could nearly see the cogs turning in the boy's mind, although about what he did not know. Harry wasn't sure he knew either. He had never had someone come after him, and the man really did seem in earnest about not doing it out of obligation now that he had taken care of Harry in a proper manner... treated him as a respected human being. Why was it then that the man had tracked him so earnestly if not for a promise? He had not yet asked anything of Harry... the summer homework still sat unfinished in a pile somewhere but Harry had not been set to homework or chores again. He'd simply been allowed to heal.

When Harry was a long time in quiet thought, Severus stood up and asked, "Do you feel well enough to eat in the dining room today?"

Harry nodded, and was able to slowly make it all the way down stairs and to his seat without stumbling, for which he was thankful. He hated feeling helpless, although this time around it wasn't as bad as it had been when he was hurt at the Dursleys, which was often. How odd it was to have someone waiting on him, tending to his needs, and to have a friend there in Luna at the same time to cheer him up and play games with him since he was often stuck in bed. Things were certainly different and he really didn't know what to expect next.

"Hello Harry, would you like some chicken?"

As he eased himself into the wooden chair, Harry nodded and gave a weak smile, thinking that he was very ready to stop feeling so weak and tired. "Yes please." She handed him the plate of roast chicken and he took a piece along with some cooked veggies and sat quietly waiting for everyone else to be served. He did not notice the look given to him by the man on the other side of the rectangular table as Harry waited until the first bite was taken by someone else before he began to eat.

Stomach still feeling small from not eating regular meals this summer, Harry ate as much as he could and then a bite for good measure to try to resize his stomach as the summer drew on. Maybe this would be the first time he would return to Hogwarts at the end of the summer without having to nibble his food at the feast instead of properly enjoying it. He wasn't sure if he dared to hope that things would change and stay that way.

After lunch Harry and Luna sat on the living room floor playing wizard's chess while Severus went out back to work in the garden for a short while. Harry had just put Luna's king in check when he noticed she was no longer paying attention, but was watching him closely instead.

"What?" He gave a little frown with a smile, thinking it funny that she was staring.

"Will you run away again?"

Smile fading a little Harry sat up straight and sighed. He didn't know. He didn't want to run, who did? But what choice did he have most of the time but to do what he thought was best for himself since no one else did what was in his best interest. Not that sleeping in the dirt or slipping around in the mud while he had a concussion was fantastic, but wasn't it better than living always in want of something? Suddenly uncomfortable at the realization that it was love and affection that he had been lacking, Harry cleared his throat and looked into Luna's curious blue eyes again.

"I don't want to run."

"You did though."

He really didn't want to explain to someone that he didn't feel a part of anything... that he didn't feel loved or wanted, just a burden. Yet there she was staring at him, and Severus was outside, and he'd never known Luna to be judgmental yet.

"Things seem better now. It's not... I'm not, being treated like a burden now."

"I think I understand Harry Potter," she said in that light, floating voice of hers, and Harry hoped she did, because nobody had ever understood before. Ron and Hermione tried, but Harry always had the feeling that they were never quite there with him in his torment. They were good friends to be sure, family even, but no matter how hard he tried, there was always a feeling of distance between he and his friends; a gap that he could never seem to bridge.

"Check mate Harry."

Harry was drawn out of his reverie and looked down at his pieces. He really hadn't seen that coming, but she had lured him right into her trap. Or maybe she'd just wandered her way to a win.

"Guess my mind was elsewhere," he said with a smile, feeling as if he'd like a nap because he was feeling tired again.

"The mind has a funny way of wandering," Luna said in a thoughtful tone. "You never know where it will take you next."

"Where does yours take you?" Harry asked, suddenly curious. He'd always wondered about her daydreaming, and now he had a chance to find out.

"Oh, here and there and too many times the same place twice. My mind couldn't wander at all while you were gone."

Feeling his face and neck get hot suddenly Harry gave a fake cough and pretended to be interested in a painting above the fireplace.

"It's ok Harry," she said then, and he looked over. "I'm hopeful things will change for you yet." She stood then and skipped into another room with a smile and Harry was left to his thoughts again as he cleaned up the chess set.

* * *

"Sorry sir?" His voice cracked and he cursed internally that it did that occasionally as it was becoming deeper with age.

"What would you like for dinner Mr. Potter?"

Harry realized that his mouth was hanging open a little and did his best to close it as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen and stared at the man before him, ever clad in black. He may as well have just asked Harry what he wanted for Christmas. A family was the answer that came to mind unbidden as Harry became internally sarcastic. He cursed and told himself in his head to stop such thoughts before they lead to hope and then disappointment.

"You mean you want me to cook dinner sir?" That must have been what he meant after all, that he was giving Harry the choice of what he was to cook. Nobody in their right mind would ask Harry what he wanted to eat, or nobody ever had at least.

Dish towel in hand, Snape put his hands on his hips. "I mean what would you like for dinner Mr. Potter. Luna has chosen the last few meals and I heard her mention something about squid this afternoon... which I would rather not eat."

Harry swallowed. See, there was that hope he didn't have getting squashed down. He was being asked to avoid Luna choosing. But Harry still had a choice to make, one he'd never made before, and so he said the first thing that came to mind and hoped he wouldn't be causing too much trouble. "Shepherd's pie sir?"

"Is that a question or a decision?"

Voice cracking again, Harry said quietly, as if to himself, "It's my favorite dish."

With an appraising look at the young man before him, Severus nodded and as he turned said, "Shepherds pie it is then, sans squid." He set to work cooking, and suddenly feeling unhappy for some reason Harry retreated and went up to his room.

Sitting on the edge of his bed Harry frowned and put his head in his hands, irritated with himself that he had just been given a choice of food and was somehow unhappy about it. Or maybe that wasn't the reason. He scolded himself softly when he realized a moment later that hope had somehow crept up on him unawares in the last few days. Damn but how he hated hope, because it always lead to hurt when it never came to fruition.

He lay back and put an arm behind his head as he stared at his ceiling and pondered. For normal people like Luna, if you could call her that, hope wasn't a bad thing. But for Harry a hope so dangerous as things changing for the better in a permanent way could only lead to disappointment. He had come to the conclusion some time ago that he was meant for a rough and tumble life... one void of affection and dreams that come true. Despite his fears of hurt, he lay there with a now growing hope that things could be this way forever, and that there just might be a place for him somewhere.

He closed his eyes and drifted into a dream where he and Luna played Muggle sports in the back yard as Professor Snape cooked dinner, and smiled down at him when they went into the house. It was a short but pleasant dream that disturbed him when a knock on his door followed by an announcement by Luna that dinner was ready woke him a short time later.

Of all the times that Harry wished his hopes would not be trampled to the ground, he had never been treated better than since Snape had brought him back, and he desperately hoped that this would be the one time when he wouldn't be given hope, only to have it snatched so cruelly back.

A long, dark corridor taunted him. There was something at the end, and he knew he needed to know what it was, but no matter how hard he ran, he could not see what was beyond the darkness; beyond his reach.

Harry turned in a circle in the narrow, low stone hallway and felt more lost than ever, despite somehow knowing exactly where he was, and not knowing at all. Was he here, or there?

Eyes narrowed as a low growl came from the shadowed depths of the unknown, Harry became suddenly alert and stared hard into the darkness, only to shrink back when a hulking figure with a pale face emerged and began to advance on him with fists clenched.

"I told you boy, you're not allowed to eat at the table with us." It was uncle Vernon and he smiled with a manic gleam in his eye.

Heart clenched with sudden fear and flutter, Harry glanced to his left and was horrified to find himself back at Privet Drive standing in the kitchen near a desperately wanted plate of food.

"I, I didn't mean to uncle, I'm sorry," Harry stuttered, unsure of any other way to dig himself out of trouble except to run. Just to be sure there was no where else to go, Harry looked back and instead of the stove he found the dark hallway, waiting, beckoning him closer to a dark unknown.

"Better go boy." Harry turned back to find his uncle with his belt in his hands now, ready to deliver harsh and unrelenting punishment, of this Harry was sure.

He shook his head and braced for impact, which came in torrents of pain that he felt certain would never stop. He cried out for help, and woke with a start in his darkened room in Snape's house.

Gasping for breath Harry ripped the too hot covers off of himself and fell in a heap on the floor. As the fog of the dream began to dissipate, he could swear that he could still feel the places where he had been lashed, and reached to touch his arms only to find that they did indeed hurt.

Suddenly Harry felt sick to his stomach and scrambled to his feet and out into the hallway with an unceremonious amount of noise as he made it to the bathroom just in time to retch into the toilet. This too he thought would never stop, and he wished that tonight he had not had dinner.

It seemed ages before a strong arm gripped him around the chest and a warm, gentle hand held his forehead up, but was actually only a minute or so after he'd made his hurried dash to the loo.

Feeling panicked as confusion took him over, wondering who was holding him up so gently so that he didn't have to worry about holding himself up over the toilet, Harry cast his mind around frantically and could think of no one who would do this for him. His breathing became rapid, and his chest tightened again, and he was only relaxed when a firm voice finally announced who was there.

"Calm yourself Mr. Potter, or you'll throw yourself into a panic attack." Strong, firm, and certain. Good, Harry thought, it was only Snape. I'm in Snape's house, he told himself a few times just to reassure himself, it's only Snape.

The sickness and terror of the night finally overwhelming him so fully along with Snape's presence, Harry gripped the arm holding his chest for dear life and gave a sob. Sure he was done being sick, Harry fell back onto his hind end on the bathroom tile and tried to let the still firm hold on him reassure him as he tried to calm his breathing.

It was long moments with Harry's heavy, shaky breaths the only sound before Severus asked, "Are you well enough to go back to your room?"

Unsure if he wanted to open his mouth and test the question, Harry looked at the toilet and gave a final heavy breath before he nodded and allowed himself to be helped to his feet. Severus kept a gentle grip on his elbow back across the hallway and into Harry's room just in case the boy's legs decided to give out. He was shaking and Severus didn't want to chance it.

Once Harry was seated on the edge of his bed, the man before him lifted his hand to Harry's forehead and then felt his pulse. "Do you feel unwell from the last potion taken before you went to bed?" It had happened twice since Harry had started taking potions to heal his lungs, but not in the last two weeks and Severus doubted this was the cause, although he still had to check.

Harry shook his head and confirmed Severus' suspicions. He gave the child a hard stare and Harry pretended not to notice until asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Looking down at how badly his hands were still shaking, Harry tried to still them and failed. He didn't want to talk about it, he wanted to throw himself back into his Professor's arms of all things, and felt both lonely and sad to know he couldn't. Would the man get angry if he asked for Luna instead? She would hug and comfort him, but he was too afraid to ask, the memory of Uncle Vernon's belt still fresh in his mind as he noticed that Professor Snape was in a dark blue bathrobe with a fabric belt instead of a leather one with a buckle.

Remembering the sting of pain on his arms, Harry reached up to his shoulder and winced as it still hurt. Seeing the confusion and pain in his eyes, Severus motioned for Harry to move his hand aside and rolled up the sleeve of the faded gray t-shirt he was wearing to reveal long, angry scratches.

"What have you done to yourself?" Severus asked quietly, searching the boy's eyes only to find confusion.

"The belt-" Harry paused, too aware of what he'd just revealed about his dream. "I didn't-" he shook his head as he trailed off. He hadn't meant to scratch himself. Why on earth would anyone?

Using his wand Severus conjured a small black container with something akin to tar inside and gently rubbed it into the scratches on both of Harry's arms. "Apparently you were so desperate to escape your dream that you did what was necessary to wake yourself," Severus concluded as he worked, allowing Harry to relax for the time being as he didn't have to come up with or provide any answers.

When he was done, Severus said, "These will be healed in the morning," before using his wand to conjure something Harry assumed would be another salve or potion, but was surprised to find was chocolate.

"Here, eat this. It will make you feel better."

Taking the piece of chocolate uncertainly and remembering when Remus had once done the same for him, Harry said uncertainly, "I didn't battle any dementors." He took a bite anyway, trusting that the man knew his remedies after taking care of Harry for the last three weeks and restoring him to near full health.

Severus cleared his throat as he stood from where he knelt on the floor. "Chocolate is also good for battling demons."

Harry swallowed as he looked up at Snape. Had he said anything about his dream? Only the belt... that could have meant anything, couldn't it have?

"I will be here if you need to talk," Severus said, and upon seeing Harry's determinedly closed mouth, left the room, leaving the door open and the hall light on as he went back to his own room and closed the door.

Harry stared down at the remaining bite of chocolate, and upon repeating the man's words in his mind, stuffed the rest of the candy into his mouth and lay back down on his bed. There had never been an adult to talk to before, Harry thought as he fell into a blissfully more peaceful sleep than before. And in a very Luna like way, his mind said to him sweetly as he dozed, ‘how nice.'

* * *

"Oh, aren't you just so excited Harry? I do love Diagonalley, and I heard that there is a new store that sells things like pixie dust!"

Harry scratched at his chin, and shrugged. He wasn't sure what pixie dust was for, but he was sort of excited to go to Diagonalley, especially after the events of the night before which he still felt shaken by.

Professor Snape had informed them that morning that they would be going into Diagonalley under a charm to make them unrecognizable so that Harry could purchase some new clothing and Luna could buy some more reading material as she'd already been through most of the novels in the library already in the two months since summer had started.

By the end of breakfast, Harry had allowed Luna's excitement to wash over him, and he thought about finally having clothes that fit, and possibly visiting the Quidditch store if Professor Snape would allow it. This wasn't their big Hogwarts shopping trip, as their letters hadn't arrived yet with a list of supplies, so they wouldn't need to go to a dozen shops, and Harry hoped this would help his case for wanting to get into the Quidditch store.

As Harry and Luna tucked their money pouches into their jeans pockets, Severus came out of the stairwell leading down to his basement lab with three small cups full of clear electric blue liquid.

"It will not taste pleasant, but it will keep any of the Dark Lord's spies from discerning our identity," he said dryly.

Luna took hers and drank it down gracefully with a smile, while Harry pulled a face and tried not to gag for fear he would be sick again right there on the living room floor. Snape too seemed to be thinking along the same lines, and gave Harry a look as if to ask if the potion settled, and Harry nodded.

Outside Severus gripped the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw's arms and apparated them to a side alley of Diagonalley between the apothecary and the Ink & Quill, the new competitor to Flourish and Blotts.

"I do so wish to look for pixie dust," Luna said, peering into the windows as if she would be able to spot her quarry from the street.

"You may do so," Severus said, and then added, "we will be in the bookstore in half an hour." As an afterthought he added, "Do not venture down any of the side alleys." While he still had the vague feeling that one day Luna would get herself into trouble with the way her mind wandered, he felt comfortable enough to let her shop alone for a while. The boy with a mess of black hair on the other hand was still a flight risk, and Severus felt no closer to knowing what troubled him and made him so apt to run.

Harry thought that half an hour was an awfully short time to go to his vault in Gringotts and then search for a new wardrobe, and his hopes of going to the Quidditch supply shop were dashed.

They left Luna to search for her pixie dust and as Harry's few sickles jangled in his pocket, he said, "Sir, I need to go to Gringotts."

"That will not be necessary."

Harry frowned. "But you said I'm to get new clothes." Harry wondered if credit was allowed at some wizarding stores where they would simply bill you later.

"I will be purchasing the clothing," Severus said in a careful tone.

Looking confused as his brows knit together Severus knew there was no avoiding the truth with this child, and cleared his throat. "The headmaster put a temporary hold on your vault to encourage you to return when you ran away at the beginning of the summer. He did not know you had opted to... explore, the Muggle world."

Well that was a nice way of putting it, Harry thought bitterly. Hey Harry, you ran off and now you can't get to your money.

"When will I be able to get to my vault again?"

"I do not know. The Headmaster is in another country and is hard to reach."

Harry sighed. Well there it was, he once again had no control over his life because someone else had taken control for him. Seeing the melancholy look on the child's face and remembering the state he had worked himself into the night before, Severus said, "While Luna is doing her shopping, you are free to visit whichever store you choose. We will be purchasing your clothes in Muggle London, so there is no need to visit Madam Malkin's." Harry perked up immediately and Severus wondered why this strategy had worked so well.

Harry lead off towards Gringotts and predictably straight into the Quidditch shop where he wasted no time in ogling over the newest broom, the Thunderstruck 7000, which promised to be twice as fast as the Firebolt. After asking the store clerk an obscene amount of questions about a broom, Harry moved on to looking at posters, and then paid his remaining three sickles on a set of silver Snitch earrings. Severus hoped Harry didn't plan on giving them to Luna, the unbidden image of the boy falling for his adopted daughter coming to mind just to bother him again.

"For Ginny," Harry said when he saw the look on Snape's face, and then laughed. "I bought this for Luna," Harry said, holding out a small magazine Severus had not seen him purchase. The title was of nothing he thought Luna would find of interest, as she had shown little interest in the sport, but then Harry pointed to a spot on the lower right corner of the magazine, and Severus understood.

"It only comes out four times a year... I reckon he wrote the article just before... you know."

"Indeed." He stared down at the name Zenophilius Lovegood and hoped seeing an article her father wrote before his death would not upset Luna terribly. She never cried over his death, but for a while Severus could tell she was not herself, and only after Harry had appeared had she become her daydreaming self again.

Wondering that the boy had only a few sickles to his name and had spent them on other people, Severus lead out of the shop and towards the bookstore where Luna waited outside smiling happily as she peered inside a pouch.

"I found it," she said happily as she saw them approaching. "But I think I'll wait until we get home to try it."

They spent another half an hour in the bookstore, waiting for Luna to pick out several books she thought would be interesting (which appeared to be anything and everything), and then she and Severus paid for their purchases and the three of them made their way out of the magical world and out into the Muggle one.

Severus pulled out a roll of Muggle bills and handed them to Harry with a warning not to lose them, and Harry reddened. He felt awkward having someone just give him money, but also strangely grateful. He'd never had more than a pound when he was younger, and that was only if he found it on the street.

It turned out that Professor Snape knew of a lot of places to shop for clothing in the Muggle world and they went from store to store, shrinking their purchases as they went.

Luna bought herself several new articles of clothing as well while Harry shopped, and by the time they were done it was lunchtime and they were starving.

At a suggestion from Luna Severus took them to a Muggle restaurant where they sat down at a table covered by an umbrella on the sidewalk and waited for a waitress. Harry watched as Luna and Severus both picked up a thin book from the table and began to read. He frowned, and looked down at his own copy to see that it said Menu. The Dursley's had never taken him to a restaurant before so he wasn't quite sure what to do. There were all kinds of delicious looking food with prices next to them, but he still felt nervous when the waitress came out to take their order.

Severus ordered a sandwich, and Luna said, "I'll have the fish and chips please." Not sure if he would be allowed to order something expensive, and being nervous about ordering for the first time, he said quickly to the waitress, "Fish and chips please," and handed her the menu swiftly when the waitress had turned to him. When she left he tried to ignore the look Snape gave him as his face turned even redder. To be honest, he didn't even like fish and chips, but he just wanted to survive the experience without embarrassing himself so it was easier to order what Luna had.

* * *

Harry was allowed into Luna's room that day as the spell was taken down that banned him from entering, and he stepped in carefully to see what exactly her pixie dust would do.

"Sit down," she told him, and he sat cross legged on the floor where she pointed in front of where she was already sitting.

"It cost three galleons," she told him, "but it only takes a pinch to work. Mother used to have some when I was younger and she would sprinkle it over me to make me laugh." Here she took a pinch and held it over her head as she rubbed her fingers together to disperse it. It sparkled like glitter on the way down, and before Harry knew what was happening, Luna was floating three feet off the ground with a wide smile.

Harry stared up with a grin in wonder until she took a rather large pinch and dropped it on him from above, and he floated up about five feet.

It was Harry's laughter that drew Severus down the hallway to listen just outside of Luna's bedroom door. One peek inside told him that they'd already broken out the pixie dust and he hoped they wouldn't be sprinkling it over the breakables in the house. He was just about to leave when Luna's voice drew him in again, curious as to what she had to say.

"Mother says that its pixie dust they use to make brooms fly, but it's so hard to get pixies to give it to you that it drives the price of brooms up."

Harry did a flip in the air and then they both laughed. "Well who needs a broom now? I can just fly around the pitch. Imagine the look on Draco's face. Lee will be announcing that I'm the Potter 2000, the newest model on the market."

Luna laughed then too and Severus was happy to hear his two charges sounding so carefree.

They were quiet for a minute after a few more giggles and laughs, and Severus was almost about to head away again when Harry asked in a more somber, yet curious tone, "You loved your mum and dad, yeah?"

"I do miss them so much. Mother died when I was very young, but I still remember her face and voice. And I didn't expect daddy to go so soon."

There was silence, and then, "Luna?"

"Yes Harry?"

"How do you know they loved you?"

Severus heart felt like it was stuck in his throat to hear the boy ask such a question, as if he didn't know his own parents had loved him enough to give their lives for him. Luna only laughed however, and said lightly, "It's easy to know Harry."

"But how?"

"I knew every time they did the things for me they didn't have to do. Mother never had to kiss me goodnight or sprinkle pixie dust on me so I could fly around the yard, and daddy never had to use my ideas for the magazine or buy me presents or take care of me when I was sick. There's so many things Harry. Those are the things I think about when I miss them." She sounded so sure, and Harry still seemed so uncertain, thoughtful.

"Do you believe that your parents didn't love you?" she asked when Harry was still quiet a minute later.

Harry looked up. "Huh? Oh, I- I know they loved me." There was that uncertainty again. "I mean, they died for me... they didn't have to do that. I just, I don't remember them and... I don't remember what it feels like to be loved."

Coming from this boy even a month ago Severus would have thought this statement a ploy to gain sympathy and attention, but he had the feeling now that it was true, and it pained him to know it. He was surprised that Harry was telling this to Luna, and it seemed that Harry was surprised as well.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "Didn't mean to tell you that."

She watched him with curiosity in her eyes for a moment more and then said, "It's ok Harry. Everyone needs someone to tell things to every now and again. I imagine Ron and Hermione would say the same thing."

Harry shrugged. "It's different..." Severus stepped away from the door and quickly down the hallway before the two teens realized he had been listening in on their private conversation.

In his room he sat down at his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. Harry couldn't remember being loved? It was obvious to him now that the child had not been shown kindness... had not been part of a family. It seemed as though he had never even been taken out to a restaurant. But to not feel loved? God and everyone else knew how the Weasleys and the Granger girl doted on the star Gryffindor, but as the boy had said, it was different in some way than what he was missing. In a faraway place and time that Severus preferred to forget altogether, he could remember feeling alone and unloved by his father and grandparents, but even then he had his mother and he had Lily. What must this child have gone through to feel as if he were completely alone in the world? Something with a belt he was sure, and such a lack of food and clothes that he never complained about not being given what all children deserved.

It disheartened Severus to know he had been a part of the un-love the boy had received, if you could call it that. The broken boy he had found on the hill in the torrent of rain had changed his mind once already and changed his attitude, and now the lonely boy in the room across the hall would make him reevaluate once again. It was no wonder that he ran away. It wasn't really running away at all, but rather running towards. Running towards anything but the reality that nobody wanted him.

Determined that his temporary charge should not run again, Severus went downstairs to make dinner, much weighing on his mind, and his heart.

* * *

Harry couldn't go back to sleep. He lay in bed in the darkened room staring at the piles of clothing across the room folded on the desk. Five pairs of pants, three pairs of shorts, twelve shirts, new socks and underwear, and even a new pair of shoes. Not just any shoes but the same name brand sneakers that Dudley wore, which meant they were the most expensive ones in the store. Why had Snape bought all of that? Harry had money that he couldn't access, so Snape had given him money, but in reality it was Snape who had made him go and get the clothes in the first place. He didn't have to do that. Harry had always survived in the hand-me-downs he had from Dudley and the other boys in Gryffindor tower, and he would continue to survive without expensive new clothes. Snape had insisted anyway. He had also insisted on the more expensive shoes Harry had given a quick glance at before heading for the less expensive pairs. He did what he didn't have to do. That made Harry uncomfortable as he remembered the Love that Luna explained to him.

He sighed and rolled onto his back to stare at the dark ceiling. He'd only woken because of another nightmare. He'd shouted out in his sleep apparently and Professor Snape had come in and woken him. He'd offered to listen again and then left the hall light on once more and left Harry's door cracked open, just as the previous times Harry had woken. Luckily he hadn't sicked up tonight, but the fact remained, Snape didn't have to do those things. He didn't have to wake Harry, didn't have to be there to listen even though Harry never told, and didn't have to take care of Harry when he wasn't feeling well, or for those weeks when Harry was weak and injured.

He didn't have to pursue me relentlessly cross country either, Harry thought, wondering why the man had not just given up and gone home back to his life and back to Luna. The first time he'd found Harry was purely by mistake, but the second time was by determination.

Thoughts changing track again, Harry considered, that even if the man did have to take care of him when he was ill out of obligation, he certainly didn't have to be nice about it. He hadn't taunted or belittled Harry at all since he'd been brought back and had been calm and quiet while healing him, making sure he had nutritious food and healing potions.

Maybe it was all because he felt bad about how he'd treated him, Harry thought, for not healing his injuries right away. Whatever the reason, he was matching up to the description Luna had given him of a parent's love. Harry's hope peaked with this thought but he forced it back down again.

Nobody will love me, he told himself firmly. Maybe he cares... that's ok. Teachers care about the welfare of their students. I bet he loves Luna though, he countered himself in his head. He adopted her after all... and she talks to him like he's her own father.

As he closed his eyes and tried in earnest to get back to sleep, a voice in the back of his mind that sounded a lot like Luna said, ‘But he didn't have to do those things for you. He did them anyway. What does it mean?' Harry didn't know, and drifted off into an uneasy sleep, in which he was woken again by Professor Snape an hour later because he'd been begging for help out loud. And Severus didn't have to sit with Harry at four am until he quit shaking and went back to sleep either.

"We could paint it Gryffindor red."

"That is such a wonderful color," Luna nodded in approval. "I do wish Ravenclaw's colors were red and black."

"Definitely not," came Snape's voice as he passed by in the hallway carrying a box of something to Luna's room.

Harry and Luna glanced towards the now empty hallway from where they were standing in Harry's room and laughed.

Luna put her hands on her hips then and said, "Blue then?"

Harry nodded and raised his wand where a jet of blue splashed out of it and onto the walls. Severus had given them permission to decorate Harry's gray bedroom so that it could be distinctly his for the remaining two weeks until school started again, despite the fact that Harry knew he would not be returning after that.

Luna giggled as Severus walked by and glanced into the room with a nod of approval at the dark blue color on the walls and then disappeared again. When he had gone she raised her wand and splashed bright red spots of varying sizes onto Harry's walls and then incanted something and emblazoned a large Gryffindor lion onto the ceiling in gold and red.

Harry and Luna laughed together and hushed suddenly when Snape walked by with another box, but the hushed laughter drew him in anyway and he set the box in the hallway and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I distinctly remember giving you permission to paint the room one color. My retinas will burn out before the day is out. If you insist on painting it red, do it all in one color."

"That's ok, I think I like the blue," Harry said with a smile and Luna said another spell, making the colorful spots and lion suck backwards into her wand again.

"Thank you," Severus said and walked out with the box again.

"What's he bringing in anyway?" Harry asked, sticking his head into the hallway.

"Some of the things from my house. Gringotts is taking the property back and he offered to retrieve the rest of my family's things. Come on, I'll show you."

Harry followed her out and down the hallway where six or seven boxes were stacked next to her desk.

Severus watched with curiosity as Luna began pulling things out and explaining what they were.

"Grandma Lovegood gave this to mother, but she hated it because it was orange and she said grandma only gave it to her because she hated orange."

"What is it?" Harry asked with curiosity.

"I don't really know, but daddy says it must have something to do with knargles because after she gave it to us knargles were always ruining the flowers in the garden."

Harry laughed and Severus left the room to retrieve the last box which was full of books. When he returned he found Luna trying to give something to Harry, and neither teen noticed as he entered the room and set the heavy box on Luna's bed.

"Really Harry, daddy would want you to have it. He'd be happy to know it went to you."

"Are- are you sure? It looks important."

Severus squinted to see what it was and saw the boy carefully holding a small brown pouch half full of something.

"I think it's the kind of thing that should be passed to family. That's the same bag of powder mother would sprinkle me with when I was small. It sat on the mantelpiece where we could always see it."

Harry looked over to her and seemed at a loss for words. "Family?" he said quietly, back still to Severus. "But I'm not."

Luna reached into her desk drawer then and pulled out her new pouch of pixie dust and opened it up, she reached in with her hand and scooped out a handful, motioning for Harry to do the same from the other bag. She dropped her handful into his bag and had him do the same into hers. "Everyone needs a family Harry. You can be part of mine."

It took Severus' keen spying eyes to see the way the boy's chin trembled then as he worked to get control over his emotions, and then he took Severus by surprise as he reached forward and took Luna into a tight hug, in the same way he had gripped Severus' arm for dear life the night he was sick in the bathroom.

"You're welcome Harry," she said serenely, noticing for the first time over Harry's shoulder that her adoptive father was standing there with his mouth open a little.

Severus cleared his throat then and Harry let go of Luna and took a quick step back.

"Do I need to put the charm on this room again to keep young males out?" It was the only thing he could think to say having been caught eavesdropping in plain sight.

Harry cleared his throat too and pretended to scratch his face when he was really wiping a way a tear. "No sir," he said, and hurried out and back to his own room where he quietly closed his door and didn't appear again until dinner.

"You are perhaps the kindest person I know," Severus said as he sat down in her desk chair and used a knife to slice the rest of the boxes open. If only everyone would take a page out of Luna's book, there would be no hurt or bloodshed in the world.

"It was only the truth Professor," she said in that day dreamy voice of hers. "He needs a family, and I have one to give."

Severus raised his brow, knowing that he was her only family left now, a distant cousin several times removed. She smiled at him and then sat down with an aged scroll of something and a Muggle pencil and scrawled something down. Severus stood and peered down at what she was writing on and then left the room to think over what had happened and how touched the boy had been to be offered a family so freely, even one only good for sentimentality.

He went out into the field in the back of the house and sighed as he took in a breath of fresh air and closed his eyes, recalling what Luna had written on the aged copy of the Lovegood family tree. He wasn't ready for what she'd written and did not know if he could handle the thought at the moment at all.

There next to Zenophilius Lovegood's name, now with a heart around it inside a tombstone to signify his death, was Severus' name with a line drawn down to Luna and Harry, indicating that they were his children. Luna was his child now... he had adopted her and accepted the responsibility. That in itself had been hard, because never before had he imagined he'd be a father to one, let alone a father to two. Harry was just a temporary charge though, wasn't he? He wasn't sure he could deny that he felt protective over the boy, and had promised him that he would no longer have to do things alone. He wasn't sure that he could accept it either though.

* * *

Harry felt more confused than he ever had. More confused than when Ginny had dated Seamus just to make him jealous, more confused than when Ron had turned on him during the tri-wizard tournament, and more confused than when Aunt Petunia scolded him for calling her mommy when he was four and gave him a spanking before locking him in his cupboard for the first time.

The pouch of pixie dust sat across from him on his desk in his new blue room, next to the wardrobe full of his new clothes. It all reminded him of the confusing feelings he was having for Luna, and for Severus Snape of all people. He laughed when they laughed, felt sad with Luna when she felt sad for her lost parents, felt worried when Severus had gotten called away for a meeting with Voldemort a few nights ago, and felt anxious that he would somehow be rejected by the man, even though he had only been civil to Harry for a month running now, a record to be sure. Rejected in what way he didn't know... Snape had always rejected him, but there was nothing to be rejected from at this point in time. It wasn't like Snape had asked Harry to be a part of his family after all. Luna's offer was for sentimental purposes only, because she didn't have the authority to invite Harry to be part of her family. Yet Harry was fearful that he would be sent away as if he was already a part of their little family. He might as well be getting locked in the cupboard all over again, and yet there was no cupboard to be locked into.

He really wasn't sure what he was feeling, because it was something akin to a mix between what he felt for Ron and Hermione, Ginny, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. He hated it when he didn't know what exactly he was feeling... when he couldn't put a name to it. That always made him scared and he hated that too.

Ron and Hermione were his best friends, and he knew they'd stick by him, but the affection he felt for them was that of a friendship. He loved Ginny and hoped that they could continue to date through this year and that nothing would go wrong, but the feelings he had for Ginny didn't quite match up to what he was feeling about this family... the family he wasn't a part of. And then there were Ron and Ginny's parents, who had doted on him and invited him into their home and into the folds of their family, although he still wasn't part of their family and might not ever truly be. It was all a jumble to him and he was fearful that whatever he felt would end up in hurt if he did something wrong and was turned away.

In the end, as Harry sat watching Snape and Luna play a Muggle card game called UNO and was invited to join, he decided that what he was feeling was affection, and realized that as summer drew to a close, he didn't want to leave this place where suddenly somebody had done what was in his best interest and had shown him some of the affection that he had sought after for so long and finally received. Somehow leaving meant that it would end and he'd never reach this long wanted feeling again.

Harry had just sat down at the dining room table to be dealt into the next hand when there was a knock on the door and Severus' head snapped up. Harry could feel how tense the man was across from him, and knew that he was not expecting visitors.

He gave Harry and Luna a sharp look and said quietly, "Go to Luna's room and pull down the ladder that goes into the attic. Wait there until I call for you."

Suddenly not the day-dreamy Luna that Harry was so used to, she jumped up, alert, and grabbed Harry's hand as they dashed off up the stairs. A knock on Severus Snape's door could mean death eaters, especially unannounced.

They climbed the dusty ladder into the attic, and then Harry used his wand to pull the ladder up again, and Luna lit her wand to give them some light as they waited quietly, hearts pounding in their ears.

"Have death eaters come before?" Harry asked, feeling a little panicked.

Luna nodded and said, "Once." She was quiet as they heard voices and strained to hear, but couldn't make out who was speaking. "It was the ones that killed my father."

"I thought it was an explosion-"

She shook her head and held up a finger to her mouth before saying very quietly. "That's only what they said for the papers. It was really Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Professor Snape thought I should know the truth." They stilled again as they heard footsteps in the distance, and then Severus' voice bidding them to come down.

Harry pushed open the ladder door in the floor with his foot and bright light met their eyes, making him and Luna squint down at Snape and Dumbledore.

"Hello Harry, Luna," the elder of the two men said with a smile, albeit a very tired looking one.

"Hello sir," Luna said with a bright smile as she climbed down and accepted a hand from Snape on her way. Harry climbed down but was not smiling. He was sure he'd be in trouble for running away... twice. He was also still a little upset that his bank account had been frozen.

With a sharp glance from Snape, Harry said very quietly, "Hello Headmaster."

Dumbledore gave him a smile and Severus lead the way out of Luna's room and back downstairs and into the kitchen where they could all sit down, although nobody did sit.

"The Headmaster has come to take you to the Weasley's for the remaining week of summer," Severus said dryly with a frown so slight that only the Headmaster caught it with a raised brow.

"Sir?" Harry looked to Dumbledore and then to Professor Snape, and Severus fought the urge to turn away at the panicked and hurt look in the boy's eyes. There was nothing he could do if the Headmaster wanted to take him, as the boy was not in his custody, just in his temporary care. He feared that Harry's absence might make Luna unhappy now that they had grown so close however, and that separating the two might also be a detriment to Harry who was finally starting to seem happy, or at least that's what he tried to tell himself as an excuse for the possibility that he might not want Harry to go either.

"Your friends miss you and requested that you be able to spend the last week with them. I have already sent your things ahead to them."

Harry swallowed and looked to Luna for help, but instead of the serene look he expected to find there on her face and take comfort in, her face was blank, and she was looking at Severus in the same manner that Harry had done a moment ago.

Harry bit his lip to not spit out about never having a choice, and wondered if he ran away if they'd think to look for him here, but moved a step towards the Headmaster quietly and determined himself to look at his new shoes instead.

"Good evening Severus, Luna," Dumbledore nodded with a smile, and then he gripped Harry's arm and they were gone.

Instead of reappearing at the Burrow, Harry found himself standing on a street in suburbia somewhere, and feared for a moment that he had been transported back to Privet Drive.

"We have taken a detour Harry, to visit an old friend," Dumbledore said at the confused look on Harry's face. "I do hope you will behave yourself?"

Harry looked up at him and as he looked away he glared unhappily and said, "You don't have to worry about me sir, I won't run away."

"That's my boy."

Harry wanted to snip at him about the comment about being his, but clamped down on his mouth and walked down the darkened street until they came to a house with a door ajar.

"Wand out Harry," Dumbledore warned him, and Harry went on alert, not knowing who they were there to see but knowing full well that a door ajar in the night meant nothing good.

Inside they found a house torn to shreds with blood splattered on the walls, furniture in ruin, and a cat mewling somewhere upstairs.

"Horace? Are you here?"

Harry frowned and thought that if someone was here, they weren't anymore, or at least not in one piece, but before he knew it the aged Headmaster was casting a spell at a chair and they heard a muffled "Ouch!" before the chair began to transform into a man with extra girth around the middle.

"I say, how did you know it was me old man?" The man standing there before them in striped pajamas seemed curious to know how he'd been discovered.

Dumbledore slipped his wand back up his sleeve and stood straight. "It was a dreadfully awful pattern for a chair Horace."

Horace looked down at his pajamas and said, "Well suit yourself then, blow my cover and be on your way."  He pulled out a short, fat wand from a hidden pocket somewhere and with a wave had righted the destroyed room again in a flash.

"Not bad for only a few moments notice eh?" He said to Harry, just now realizing that he was there. "When the alarm went of signaling magical activity in the area I had reflexes just fast enough to destroy the one room."

Harry nodded, not really sure if that was a good thing or not.

"What a lovely place to vacation Horace," Dumbledore said, looking around at the restored home.

"A wonderful couple, friends of my second cousin I believe... yes, well, they're off visiting relatives and I thought I might take refuge here for the night."

"Is someone after you Horace?"

Harry's attention was grabbed by this and he stopped his inspection of the crystal chandelier hanging from the sitting room ceiling to stare at the wide man.

He snorted and said, "Only you and half the death eaters on the island." He winked at Harry and Harry looked up to gauge Dumbledore's face for a moment, which was currently blank.

"Might I use your loo Horace? Ate something funny while I was in Brazil this morning and I don't think it agreed with me."

Horace waved his hand towards the hall and Dumbledore moved off. Once he was gone the man sighed and then looked over at Harry.

"Who are you then? I don't recall Albus having any grandchildren."

"I'm Harry Potter sir," Harry said, moving to hold out his hand for a shake as it was only polite. Horace didn't take it and instead gave him a close looking over.

"Harry Potter? It figures he would bring you." He raised his voice then and said, "Well you can just tell Albus that I'm still not coming!"

"Sir?"

"Never mind, never mind." His eyes flitted predictably up to Harry's scar as most people's eyes did, and then he moved over to the newly restored mantlepiece and said, "I taught your mother at Hogwarts you know, second best potions student I ever had. And do you know who my first best was?"

Harry walked over to look at a faded black and white picture in a golden frame full of students, and said, "Professor Snape sir?"

Horace nodded and said, "Of course that was too easy as he now has my old position as Potions Master and head of Slytherin house. He and your mother always got along famously in my class you know. Always scheming about the next best way to brew a potion in just the very way I told them not to."

"My mother knew him sir?"

"Oh yes, just look at the picture. That's them there."

Harry squinted hard at the picture and then stood up straight. The teenage versions of Severus Snape and Lily Evans were holding hands in the front row while James Potter glared daggers at them. Harry wanted to ask if they had dated but didn't get the chance as the next second the old professor was going on about the ‘Slug Club' and how he had taught all kinds of famous witches and wizards.

"It's too bad," he said finally as they heard the loo flush somewhere down the hall. "I would have liked the set." He gave Harry an appraising look right before Dumbledore came down the hall.

"Well, I must be getting Harry back now, as it is rather late. Good night Horace. Perhaps you can come to the Christmas ball this year. We've had to start one since you're not there to hold a Christmas party."

The Headmaster motioned for Harry to follow him and he did so, giving a last glance to the picture that was working it's way towards blowing his mind. Before they even made it to the front door however, Horace was out into the hall saying, "Very well, very well. You win old man. But I want a pay raise and I'm not living in the dungeons! I'm too old to be taking care of a house full of sly miscreants!"

Dumbledore gave a half bow with a strained smile and opened the door, leading Harry out into the night.

"What was that all about sir?"

"Unfortunately it is very late Harry, and I must insist we speak about it later. Take my arm."

Harry reached over and touched the Headmaster's arm, and they were gone, reappearing a moment later in a dark field outside the Burrow, the last place he wanted to be when he was feeling somber and unhappy.

They walked through tall grass up to the multistory, crooked house and Dumbledore said, "In you go my boy," but Harry stood still.

"Sir, when will you unfreeze my Gringotts vault?"

He snapped his fingers suddenly and then smiled down at Harry. "It is already done my boy. My apologies, but with the necessity to find you, and with you being so capable at avoiding detection, it was necessary to take steps to ensure your return. It was my hope that when you realized you were out of money, you would return. I did not realize that you had no need of money and were quite capable of taking care of yourself."

Harry turned away at that and walked up to the back door of the Weasley house, more upset than he'd like to admit about being taken from Snape's house, especially on such short notice. Dumbledore followed him into the house and brightly lit kitchen where Molly was immediately upon him in a tight squeeze.

"You had us so worried young man! Why if you were one of my own I would have grounded you to your room for weeks!" Harry's stomach churned uncomfortably at knowing how much stress he caused them, but her words only made him realize that he wasn't theirs any more than he was anybody else's.

Hermione and Ron were down the stairs and into the kitchen in the next second too and when Harry turned around, Dumbledore was gone, back out into the night without so much as a 'goodbye, sorry from taking you wherever I please and using you without your permission.'

"Harry! We missed you so much!" Hermione hugged him tight while Mrs. Weasley rambled on about Harry being hungry.

"Actually I've eaten already," Harry said, feeling in a foul mood and just wanting to figure out where he could go to bed. "I'd just like to go to sleep I think."

Molly stopped chattering and gave him a good looking over, including his frown. "Of course. Ronald, will you please take Harry up to your room?"

"Yes mum. Come on Harry."

Harry mumbled his thanks and followed Ron up the stairs, Hermione trailing close behind them, and he felt like a zombie, doing only what he was told.

"Bet you're happy to be out of that git's house," Ron said as they made his bedroom door all the way up on the third floor.

Harry turned and gave a hard stare at Ron and then bit out, "Yeah, just thrilled." He passed by him, not feeling up to an explanation for his sour mood and went into Ron's room. He couldn't even muster any happiness at seeing Hedwig there in a cage by his cot after being separated from her for almost two months, and fell onto the bed, burying his face in his pillow, trying to drown out the voices in the hallway as he heard Ron ask Hermione, "Have I said something?" He covered his ears and wondered at how he'd come full circle, back to a place where he felt so alone in the midst of everybody in a place where he once wished were home.

She had watched for two days now as Harry isolated himself, staring off as his friends spoke to him, and hardly eating half what the other growing teenage boys in the house insisted on consuming. The child was definitely not happy about something, and while she wanted to ask and comfort, she had the instinct that he wouldn't tell her at this point. The most curious thing happened on the third day however when she had an unexpected visitor knock on the kitchen door.

Wiping her hands on her apron to be rid of the flour on them, Molly opened the door and was surprised to find Severus Snape on the threshold holding a piece of parchment. It had been a rare occasion when he had dared risk being caught by one of You-Know-Who's flunkies in order to come by for any sort of Order business, so she knew it must have been important if he stood there in the open in the early morning light.

Now Molly Weasley had not been the top of her class for nothing. It was a fact that her most troublesome sons were often irritated with that she seemed to know much more than a mother without extra eyes naturally should, but the skill of reasoning and deduction went a long way with dealing with errant children, and sly Potions Masters.

"Hello Severus," she greeted warmly with a smile, motioning for him to come in and out of sight.

He stepped just beyond the threshold and gave a wary eye around the room before returning the greeting.

"I bring news from Lupin and Tonks for Arthur." He held out the parchment which she took.

"I'm afraid he's at work at the moment." She resisted the urge to add, ‘as you well know.' "I'm afraid there's been some trouble with that Nicholas Stacks in the last few days. Always was trouble that boy, and now he's gone off and brought up legal troubles with the Muggle Bating Department of all people!" She waved the parchment around as if in disgust and then asked, "Where are my manners? Would you like some tea Severus? Breakfast is almost ready if you'd like to have a seat."

He held up a hand in a motionless way and said, "No thank you. I would prefer to deliver my news and be on my way."

Molly listened carefully as the tall man told her information of little consequence (they had received it last night as a matter of fact) about Lupin's communications with a few reformed werewolves in the North, and then paused ever so briefly when Harry walked into the room, giving him a fast looking over as if to assess if he were whole, making eye contact with him, and then continuing on with his message.

Harry had walked into the kitchen looking as if he'd lost sleep again and stopped in his steps, making eye contact with the man that had taken care of him for the summer. Molly was no fool, she knew there was a bitter history between the two, and had seen the looks that had passed between the two in the past. This look displayed nothing of hate or anger, however brief, but brief hope had flickered across Harry's eyes.

"That is all the information I have," Severus said, bringing her attention back to him from her thoughts.

"Well we do appreciate it Severus."

He gave her a nod and turned to go, and wouldn't you know it? So slight that Molly almost didn't catch it, the man gave a single nod to the 16 year old boy standing stock still in the doorframe, and then he was gone.

She eyed Harry for a moment before Ron walked in rubbing sleep out of one eye and asked, "Who was it mum?"

"Professor Snape dear. Won't you go and tell Ginny and the twins that breakfast is almost ready?"

Ron turned and muttered, "I hate it when he comes over," before disappearing back into the living room and up the stairs.

Harry looked at Molly briefly and then after his friend, and followed after Ron, deciding that it would be less awkward than standing in the kitchen with his friends' mum alone. Molly's eyebrows rose as she watched his retreating back. It would seem strange, but would only be outdone by the change in Harry's attitude for the remainder of his stay. Perhaps it was just another weird and wonderful eccentricity for Molly to learn about one of her children, albeit a surrogate one, but Harry seemed less desolate after he had seen Severus, and Ron reported that he seemed to be sleeping better as well.

Hm. Just one of those things she supposed, and she gave a knowing smile at Harry whenever he made eye contact.

* * *

Carriage wheels squeaked as they carried students up the long dirt drive to the castle in the darkness. There was an inescapable excitement in the air that Harry wanted to be a part of, but what he was feeling at the moment was relief rather than excitement. He'd had a hard week with the Weasleys, not that they were difficult people to get along with, or that they'd treated him poorly, but his feelings were mixed up and confused about being taken so suddenly from Snape's house. He missed Luna and heaven forbid Snape himself, and had not at all felt ready to see his friends, who did not yet understand what he had gone through that summer. Even now they chatted amiably on the other side of the carriage as it bounced them around, and Harry stared off into the darkness, Ginny by his side as she held his hand, giving him the space he needed to think things through. It was something he valued in her, that she understood that sometimes he just needed some time to think things through. She at least had not pelted him with questions about why he'd gone at the end of the last year or if he'd hated things when he was with Snape.

He glanced over at Ron, and Ron gave him a strained smile and then turned back to his conversation with Hermione. Harry felt Ginny squeeze his hand, and turned to smile at her as he squeezed back, and then stared into the darkness as the castle loomed into view in the distance. The last time he'd been on this road he'd been at the start of a very long and difficult journey into the unknown. And yet again he wondered how it was he could come full circle, back to where he'd started, and yet feel as if the journey had not yet ended.

Harry had sat with Ginny privately on the train for a short while when Ron and Hermione were in the Prefects compartment, and had told her some of the details of where he'd gone and what life had been like at Snape's house, including how Luna had been so nice to him. He was looking forward to seeing Luna again and didn't want Ginny to think anything untoward was going on and get hurt or feel jealous. She seemed to understand, and he hoped it were true. It was an understanding he needed from her desperately and would test in the next few weeks as he drew himself into the most trouble he possibly could get into aside from just running away. But Harry didn't know what lay ahead at the moment, and as they made the castle, Ginny squeezed his hand hard again and whispered into his ear as they climbed off of the carriage, "Just remember, I'm here too. And if you leave, take me with you."

He looked down into her shining eyes, suddenly feeling shy and not knowing why until he realized it was because of the emotion that statement had caused him. It meant a lot to know she would go with him. He nodded and they headed into the castle, sitting next to each other at Gryffindor table. Harry's eyes searched for Luna and found her waving at him from the next table, and then searched for Snape at the staff table, finding comfort for some reason when he found that the man was already looking back at him. He gave Harry another small nod and he relaxed a little. Harry hadn't told Ginny yet, but he knew the moment the man had first nodded at him in the Weasley kitchen that he was there for him, and that gave him comfort to know that while he had left, the fragile support system he'd built hadn't left him.

"Who's that?" Ron asked, pointing at the new, rotund professor sitting a few seats down from Snape.

"Professor Slughorn," Harry said quietly. He'd not yet told anyone of his excursion into the man's ‘vacation' home yet either. "New professor."

"Must be the new Defense teacher," Ron said with a wary eye aimed at the man, but in answer to Ron's query, the Headmaster rose in that moment and introduced Horace Slughorn as the new Potions Master, and explained to the school that Professor Snape would be taking up the Defense position.

Ron cursed under his breath, and Harry gave a quarrying look at Professor Snape, but the man wasn't looking his way, and didn't catch it. Harry felt put out to not be in the loop, and ate his dinner in silence, trying his best to ignore the stares and chatter of the other students around them who knew he'd gone missing. He could tell by experience that it was going to be a long year.

* * *

Harry's insides squirmed as he sat in the front row of the Defense classroom. Typically he sat in the middle or back of any class (especially Potions) because it gave him more room to be unfocused on his work without being seen, but today he insisted that they sit up front.

"That's right," Ron muttered. "We'll show him we're not afraid of him teaching Defense and that he can't ruin this class for us too." Harry glanced sideways at Ron and noticed that Hermione had opted to keep quiet. It was a strange thing for Hermione to be so quiet, but she had been since Harry had returned, at least to him, and he wondered if perhaps she were angry at him for running away.

When Professor Snape walked into the room, Harry noted how impressive his stride was, with his black robes billowing out behind him. He also noticed now that he had seen the man for most of two months without robes, how much larger and more intimidating the man looked with robes, and swallowed as he began to get nervous. Would he be treated harshly in this class like he had been in Potions for the last five years?

"Today we will be learning reinforced shield charms. I require a volunteer." Severus searched the room, and wasn't the only one surprised to find Harry's hand up, the only other one aside from Draco's.

Hermione elbowed Ron and Ron poked Harry in the side, trying to get him to lower his arm, but Harry refused, even at the icy glare he received from Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy, please join me in front of the classroom."

Draco gave Harry a smug look as he rose and passed by his desk up to the front of the room, where he practiced for a few minutes with Professor Snape until he had a good handle on the charm. The class was then given instructions to break into pairs and practice, and Harry opted to work with Neville.

Feeling put out, but not yet losing the ever foreboding hope that seemed to grip him this morning, Harry waited until Severus was just passing by to throw up the perfect shield that Neville couldn't seem to get past with his harshest curse, and waited, but no praise came. The Professor simply looked at him, and then walked on, awarding Hermione a point for the shield she had properly conjured.

Harry bit his lip and stared as the man walked around the room helping students as needed, and was only brought back a few minutes later when Neville asked, "Can you help me figure out what I'm doing wrong Harry?"

"Huh?" He couldn't hide the defeated quality to his voice, and nodded as he walked to where his friend was standing. "Sure," he said.

From behind Harry's back, he missed the emotionless face that held disappointed dark eyes. Severus tried to imagine if he'd just ignored Luna in the same way he'd ignored Harry and how that would feel, and decided it would feel the same. What else could he do in a room full of Slytherins though? He knew very well that Draco often reported suspicious things back to his father as Lucius was often fire calling or owling Severus about said activities.

The time would come when he would be able to speak to Harry alone, or prove to the boy that he was yet still there for him, as promised. Perhaps the boy would get up the nerve to visit him on his own, although Severus doubted very much that the child relied on him as much as he imagined that he did. He had seemed fine the day he had gone to the Weasley's to check on him after all, hadn't he?

* * *

Despite the castle full of warm bodies, Harry was feeling isolated again. Ginny was a comfort, but Harry still wished for the companionship and security of another person. The very person that Ron had called Dungeon Pratt this morning, and the very same that he felt it was a daunting task to go down and see on his own.

It was easy enough to hang out with Luna, as she and Ginny were friends and he was around Ginny more now than he was around Ron and Hermione, who had seemed extremely interested in each other as of late. Luna seemed just as happy as he was to be able to spend time together again, and thankfully Ginny understood that it was a brotherly sort of affection he felt for her, or else Harry would have been in trouble the night he chose to mouth off to a seventh year Hufflepuff.

Harry and Ginny were just on their way back from the Library before curfew when they heard irritated words coming from down the hall.

"Who do you think you are little miss Orphan? Not spouting that junk about Knargles and trolls breath and the like now that daddy went and blew himself up, are you?"

"I think I'm still Luna Lovegood," she said, and even from around the corner Harry could hear the shake in her voice as the boy laughed. He had never yet heard her voice shake. The sound made Harry's spine crawl and he and Ginny picked up pace until Luna and a tall boy named Aster came into view. He was just reaching forward towards Luna's hair, and Luna was flinching back, and before Harry knew what he was doing he had charged forward and was between the two, staring angrily up into the much taller boy's eyes.

"Maybe you've gone deaf, but I think she told you to get the hell out of here," Harry said, chest heaving with emotion.

"What's this Potter? Got yourself two girlfriends? Well that's not very fair, is it now?" Aster pulled out his wand and was surprised to find that Harry already had his out and pointed at his gut.

"I didn't hear her say anything of the like," Aster said with narrowed eyes and a smirk.

Harry never turned around to look, but he was sure that from the shake in her voice and the piece of dialog he'd heard, she didn't want this guy anywhere near her. "Then let me say it for her, and let me be abundantly clear. "Get the hell away from her, and if you ever come within ten feet of her again, you'll find your insides outside, and your outsides inside, before you even know what happened."

"Ooh, scary Potter," the boy mocked.

But Harry narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice and said, "Voldemort seems to think so." He lifted his wand in a suggestive way and Aster's eyes widened. Just the mention of Voldemort's name seemed to cause the panic Harry had aimed for, and he was pleased when Aster swallowed hard and then backed up.

"Fine you little pratt. Have it your way." He turned and walked off.

Harry had just turned to see Luna's angry eyes following the seventeen year old's back as Ginny's did the same, when a scratchy voice met Harry's ears and his insides froze.

"Well well, what have we here my pretty? Students out after curfew? Students fighting? Students cursing? Students threatening?"

Harry turned and found Filch holding his mangy cat, with an evil look on his face as he smiled with glee.

"Better be coming with me then," he said, and motioned with a finger for them to follow as he turned and walked off towards the Headmaster's office.

Harry began to follow, but wordlessly looked back and waved his hand in the other direction, quietly telling them not to follow.

Luna raised her brows but Ginny obeyed, knowing that Harry was about to lie and take the fall for them all, although she didn't like it one bit. When Harry looked back again, Ginny and Luna were gone, and he breathed a sigh of relief. They shouldn't be in any trouble after all aside from being out after curfew. It had seemed a decent plan however, at least until they had gone down a floor and Filch turned around in the darkened corridor to find that only Harry followed him.

"What? Where?" He narrowed his eyes at Harry and set Mrs. Norris down, before advancing as fast as his arthritic body was able.

Harry did not enjoy being taken by surprise, and therefore felt his insides squirm as the deceptively weak looking caretaker suddenly grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer so that they were eye to eye. Filch's breath smelled horrid and his eyes were bloodshot, so it was unpleasant to be just a few inches from his face.

"Where did they go boy?"

"Who?" Harry asked.

"The two girls that were wit' yeh!"

"Sir? It was just me. I was by myself."

Filch had the time to shake Harry hard once before a number of things happened simultaneously. First Harry was confused because while he was being shaken he heard footsteps coming from three different directions, and looked to find they were in one of those strange corridors in the castle where a number of other halls converged at odd angles in one place.

The second thing that happened was that Professor Snape appeared from one of them to find the castle's caretaker shaking Harry hard as spittle flew from his mouth as he berated Harry.

And as fate would have it, often playing cruel jokes as it did, just as Severus said in a stern and unforgiving voice, "That's enough Argus," the other two footsteps turned into Professor McGonagall and Horace Slughorn, although Severus could not see because they had appeared behind him.

Filch turned to see three Professors watching him and let Harry go roughly. Harry was sure his face felt relief then, as he gave a look of gratitude to the man who had now saved him multiple times from an unpleasant fate, even if that fate was only serving detention with an angry, disgusting caretaker.

"What is going on here?"

Standing up as straight as his crooked back would allow, Filch said, "The boy was fighting in the halls, cursing, threatening, out after curfew... I was taking him to the Headmaster. Then his little friends ran off!"

"From where I stand it looked as if you were anything but taking him to the Headmaster," Severus said, agitated now.

Harry took two quick steps back as Snape advanced on Filch, and the caretaker did the same thing only found himself against a wall as the towering man cornered him. "You will not, ever, touch a student in this castle again, am I understood? If I find that you have disobeyed I will be the one fighting, cursing, and doing much more than threatening in the halls in the dead of night, and you will be most displeased at who my wrath is turned at."

While Severus didn't realize that there was an audience, Argus Filch did, and seemed to realize that the other two professors had not disagreed, and therefore the threat was valid.

"I require an answer," Severus said in a deadly tone, and Filch swallowed before glaring up at him and saying, "I understand your highness." He hobbled off down one of the long, narrow corridors

Feeling that perhaps Professor Snape might like to know that he was being watched as he straightened up and turned to Harry, Harry made eye contact and then looked past him to McGonagall and Slughorn. "Hello Professor McGonagall," he said.

Severus turned, took a deep breath, and then strode past Harry and on his way to wherever it was he had been going. Harry felt a little deflated that he didn't stop to see if Harry was alright, but a Luna like voice popped into his head and told him that it was ok because the man probably wanted to uphold his reputation, and had just announced to the staff unawares that he was now protecting Harry.

"Would you care to explain what just happened Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked. Slughorn seemed interested too and Harry launched into the entire story of finding Luna being cornered by the oaf of a Hufflepuff, and then perhaps fibbed a little as he said that when Filch ordered him to follow, they thought it meant only him, and not Luna or Ginny.

While Harry was not in trouble in the end, he felt empty, and wished that it felt as easy to trek down to the dungeons to see his professor as it did to visit with Luna or to let the elder man stick up for him. He wanted to tell the man he was sorry for causing his reputation to be spoilt.

At the set of stairs that would lead him down through the castle, Harry paused and looked longingly down the dark steps, and then continued back to the tower, where explained things to Ginny and then fell into a dark, and unforgiving sleep where he woke up feeling more exhausted than when he'd gone to bed.

Ron had threatened to go to McGonagall. It was only lucky that Ron knew as well as Harry that there was nothing that could be done about Harry's nightmares, whether they were dreams invaded by Voldemort, or uncle Vernon. The last time they'd tried, Occlumency lessons had lasted for exactly one night, as Harry had snuck a look into Snape's Pensieve after he'd gone out to deal with an errant student in the halls that was supposed to be scrubbing floors. They'd not even had a chance to get started before Harry found a glass jar of cockroaches flying at his head as he ran out the door. It might be different now, he groused in his head as he was grouchy and tired from a lack of sleep. There was no need to tell Ron that however.

Harry could understand some of the nightmares he was having about Voldemort and his activities, knew that perhaps he was seeing through Voldemort's eyes as he murdered people, burned down houses and chased people laughing through the dark streets of one unknown city after another. It left Harry feeling sick each day after one of these dreams, but he was pushing through on his own.

What Harry couldn't understand were the renewed nightmares of Uncle Vernon. It had been more than a year now since he'd seen the man since he hadn't gone back for the summer, so he shouldn't have been dreaming about him, but he was. While the dreams of Voldemort left Harry feeling sick for the atrocities he'd seen, the dreams of four Privet Drive, memories really, left Harry shaking and fearful when he awoke. He'd had a few of these dreams staying with Snape and Luna, but they had intensified when he'd gone to stay with the Weasley's and then come back to Hogwarts.

*** 

Harry sighed as he stretched out on his back on the grass by the lake, closing his eyes in the remnants of the warm sun. He had almost fallen asleep when he heard the crunch of grass next to him and looked to find Luna.

"Hello Harry."

"Hey," he said, putting his hands behind his head again.

They sat there silently for a while, just looking out at the lake, and Harry took comfort in the friend that had once not so many weeks ago offered him a family that was not really his to have.

"It's interesting to have Professor Snape teaching Defense, isn't it?" she mused after a short time.

"Yeah," Harry said, "I guess." It was interesting in the manner that the man wasn't taunting him or putting him down, but was also not calling on him in class or choosing him to help with demonstrations. One would be prone to think Draco Malfoy was the one who had spent the summer with Snape if they had sat in on Defense class day after day, because he was always the one chosen and praised.

"Have you been down to talk to him yet?"

"No." Harry sighed. It just wasn't that easy. Snape had put up with him in his home because he'd been obligated to, but here Harry was somebody else's responsibility, although he couldn't deny that the man had come to assess if Harry was well at the Weasleys and had stood up for him with Filch.

"He misses you, you know?"

Harry sat up suddenly and looked at her. "He said that?"

"No, but I just know. I eat dinner with him sometimes in his quarters and spend some time with him on the weekend. It's ever so interesting to have a parent at Hogwarts. He knew all about Aster without me even telling him."

"What'd he say about him?"

"He didn't, but Aster mysteriously found himself in detention with Professor Snape for four nights in a row." Harry looked over at her and they both grinned.

"I don't think he wants to see me," Harry said then after a few moments of silence, looking back out over the lake.

"Oh, I don't know Harry, you never can tell what's on the mind of someone who's suddenly had their brain cleared of knargles." She stood up and brushed off her pants. "Well, I have to go to dinner. See you later Harry." She waved and was gone, skipping all the way up through the trees and to the castle in a careless manner.

Hugging his knees to keep his legs from falling flat, Harry felt the cool breeze coming off the lake sweep through his hair. Luna thought that Snape missed him, but that wasn't saying much, because Luna also thought that knargles nested in people's brains and could only be cleared out with magic dust. Harry smiled then, seeing in his mind an image of Luna sneaking up behind Snape with a bag of knargle-b-gone or whatever it was called and dumping it on his head. And he bet she'd done it too.

*** 

"Deplorable little beast! Get off the furniture or you'll contaminate it!"

"Get to your cupboard boy or I'll have your hide!"

"Mum he's thrown up on the floor again!"

"Mrs. D! Harry punched me and it hurts!"

"This is the last time you'll see daylight for weeks you little beggar! And I don't want to hear any crying about your ribs either!"

A door slammed in Harry's dream and he started awake, an old ache remembered just returning to him in the half haze of sleep. He was breathing hard and listened to see if he'd woken anyone else. He could here three separate snores, but Ron's was missing and he looked over to see Ron in his bed with his pillow over his head.

Trying to take deep, calming breaths, Harry wished he could calm himself down to go back to sleep, but couldn't bring peace to himself. He had had a peace after nightmares once, in Snape's house, when the man had stayed up with him half the night and then promised he would be there to listen if Harry needed. Just thinking about this seemed to be enough to bring some of that calm feeling back over him, and Harry allowed himself to relax just enough to stop shaking, although he never did get back to sleep, as he worked hard to suppress the urge to go downstairs and find the comfort he desired.

"He looks tired."

Harry tried to ignore Hermione's whisper to Ron as he passed by on his way to grab Ginny's hand and then head out the portrait hole for breakfast, but couldn't.

"That's because he is tired," Harry groused as he passed by, not looking back to see the look on her face. He'd heard his two best friends talking about him several times already at the Burrow and in the common room, wondering why he'd run off and what had happened to make him sarcastic and unhappy all the time. And as he did take Ginny's hand and headed for the portrait hole, Harry groused at himself, 'life happened,' and couldn't seem to shake himself of his snarky mood all day.

The dreams got worse after his fight with Ron. Ron it turned out was sick and tired of his best friend snapping at him and his girlfriend all the time, and had decided to tell Harry just that.

As he was being yelled at, Harry tried to muster the anger to shout back, but just stood there feeling numb and not really hearing much of what he was saying until the very end.

"You've got a choice to make mate. Cool off and figure things out, or back off, because we don't want to live like this, and I'm not going to let my sister get into things with you when you're like this all the time."

Harry stared into his friend's eyes and realized that yet another person was promising to abandon him, because he was either supposed to be superhuman or be discarded like a boy who can simply be pushed under the stairs and forgotten about.

"Sounds like you've already made the decision then," Harry said in a monotone, and turned and walked away, feeling more like a zombie than ever. That night the dreams were the worst yet, where Ron and Hermione stood laughing as Vernon pummeled Harry into the ground until he was little better than dust. In the background Luna cried as she looked up at her husband, Aster, and Snape mouthed the words, 'I'm here if you need to talk' but no sound came out. Harry vomited when he woke, only to find that the other boy's curtains were closed, and Ron was gone.

*** 

Severus Snape watched Harry Potter pushing vegetables around his plate at lunch time, doing a wonderful job of rearranging, as Luna might put it, but never once taking a bite. He noted that Weasley and Granger sat down the table by themselves in private conversation, and Ginny was actually at the Ravenclaw table today eating with Luna. He wondered if either set of students had anything to do with the child's mood.

After lunch he took the opportunity in Defense to get a closer look at Harry, whom he had not really spoken to since he'd been taken by Dumbledore. He looked tired, and perhaps even a little depressed as he sat by himself in the very back row, not paying attention in class. While it irritated him to some extent when any student tuned him out, he decided not to say anything to Harry for the time being. There was obviously something on his mind, and he wished Harry would come down to talk to him.

Up to this point Severus had done everything in his power to keep his promise to the boy. He had taken care of him, tried to integrate him into 'family life' with Luna, told him on numerous occasions that he was there to listen if Harry needed to talk, and had even made a special trip to the Weasley's just to reassure him that he was still there. On top of these things Severus had stepped up to bat in the Harry Potter fan club that most staff seemed so intent to join, and had practically announced that he was now protecting the boy. He had not heard anything of Filch stalking him lately as he usually did with other students, determined that they should be in some sort of trouble.

He sighed inwardly and once again told himself to be patient. No one could be helped if they didn't want to be. As the old adage went, you could not lead a thestral to water and force him to drink. No, this was up to Harry. When and if he decided to talk, then Severus would be there in wait. He had no idea that his patience would pay off that very night, or what information he'd be privy to, nor what emotions he'd be in store for.

*** 

Pounding steps. Pounding heart. Thud thud, thud thud, thud thud. Blinding pain as his knees hit the stairs, panic, dread. I have to get to Snape. I have to get to Snape. Thud thud, thud thud.

Harry Potter sped, and tripped down countless flights of stairs, panic gripping his chest, cold sweat still dripping into his eyes from when he'd woken. It was a constant effort to suppress the sobs that so desperately tried to escape, and he was sure his heart would simply explode from the overload of emotion before he could seek out the only adult he knew would be able to help. All Harry could think about was getting back to that place that felt so safe the night Snape had held him up over the loo, and let him grip his arm so tightly.

"Ha! I've got you now!"

Harry went sprawling over Filch's cat and hit his chin hard on the stone floor, but picked himself up and ignored the cursing and ranting that followed. Get to the Dungeons. Just get to Snape!

Two more flights of stairs and another tumble onto his hands and knees, and he had finally made the Dungeons. Now where to find him? Would he be in his office at this time of night? Had Luna said something about his quarters being behind a portrait of a man with a black owl? Harry searched frantically, and uncertain if he was at the right place, began pounding on the only portrait that remotely matched Luna's description, tears running down his face as he breathed hard and could no longer suppress his sobs.

"Please, please!" he cried, sure he'd wake up the whole of Slytherin house if he didn't find Snape soon. He was in a panic and he didn't know how to make the tight feeling of complete and utter dread in his chest go away.

Without warning the painting swung inwards and Harry fell into the arms of a surprised Snape, who held him up as he finally collapsed there in the entrance to his quarters.

Severus gave a quick look in both directions down the hall to verify that nobody was chasing his charge, before pulling him inside and closing the door.

"Harry, what is it?"

Perhaps startled by the use of his first name as he was being guided to the couch, Harry sucked in a deep breath, but before he was able to get anything out in way of an explanation, he broke down again and began to shake.

Severus sat beside him and assessed the newly forming bruise on the boy's chin as well as the state he was in. Deciding that he could do nothing if the teen would not first calm down, he said in a firm but quiet tone, "Listen to the sound of my voice. Listen to the calmness in my voice and my voice alone. I am here and nothing will harm you. You will take a deep breath in, and then let it out slowly." He waited until Harry, who had his eyes closed as he tried to listen, did as he was told, and then continued on. "In, and out. In, out. Continue to calm as you hear the calmness in my voice."

It became a methodic chant that Harry took refuge in, and as Harry's breathing grew steadier, Severus spoke less and let him have time to gain control over himself, noticing that he was still shaking.

When the teen was finally breathing normally again, Severus asked, "What has happened?"

Harry opened his eyes and looked into the black ones that seemed so full of concern. While the panic that had gripped him and refused to let go had finally gone, he still felt unable to talk. He took in a deep, shaky breath and dove into the Potion Master's arms as tears spilled down his face again. He wanted so desperately to just be held and be told again that it would all be alright. In response to his shaky sobs Harry was surprised and relieved to find a strong arm around his back and another hand holding the back of his head. He hadn't been pushed away or cussed at, or thrown off the couch like an animal. He had simply been... accepted.

"I can't do it anymore," Harry said through tears, trying to gain control over his emotions once more and failing. "I just can't."

"Can't do what Harry?"

When there was no forthcoming answer after long moments, Severus realized that Harry had stopped shaking now, and leaned back to see that the boy was asleep. Of all the nerve, he thought, arm still around Harry's back. He runs all the way down here... or falls all the way down by the looks of it, just to wake me up and worry me sick just so he can fall asleep on my couch. In my arms he reminded himself again. Just like his mother, he thought with some hurt in his own heart. Always seeking him out for comfort, even after they had stopped dating and she and James had begun to see each other.

Feeling lightheaded suddenly, Severus was unwilling to get up and risk falling over, let alone disturb his sleeping charge who had finally come to him on his own. What must have happened to bring him down here in such a state though? His answers would have to wait a few more hours until morning. And he was content to wait that long.

"Please, please just make it stop." Harry held tight to his Defense Professor's arm as he was startled awake by his own screams, tears streaming unbidden down his eyes.

"Make what stop Harry? The dreams?" It was four am and the boy had only been sleeping for an hour before he'd started to fidget and then scream out in his sleep. Severus had not needed to wake him because he'd startled himself awake. Already in his arms, Severus gripped the child tight to give him a sense of security, and the boy latched on to him as if he would disappear.

"I can't take it anymore," Harry said with a shaky breath. "I'm so tired. I just want it to stop." His hands shook like his voice and Severus could sense the exhaustion in him.

"What was your nightmare about?" A question he'd asked him countless times before on other nights and never gotten an answer to. But Harry was here now, wasn't he? He'd made the trek all the way down through the castle, and Severus hoped that meant he was ready to speak about it. As if sensing his line of thought however, Harry let go of Severus' arm and scooted away a couple of feet to the other end of the couch, wrapping his arms around himself for safety.

Severus wanted to sigh, but withheld as he realized that the child had never put his whole trust in anyone before, possibly because he'd never had the chance. He also realized the possibility that the child may never place his trust in someone.

Harry was staring into nothingness towards the coffee table and Severus cleared his throat. "You cannot be helped if you are not willing to be helped."

This seemed to gain the boy's attention as he looked up, seeming dazed and confused. "What?"

"If the dreams were caused by the dark lord, this can be remedied with Occlumency lessons. If however they were caused by something else, the only way to be rid of them is coming to terms with them, which you obviously have not been able to accomplish on your own. It would seem then that you need help, which I suspect you already know seeing as you are sitting on my couch in the dead of night." There, that wasn't terribly harsh, was it? For him it was positively docile.

Harry turned his attention back to the coffee table, a troubled look accompanied by his brows knit together slightly in consternation. He was silent as he continued to hug himself protectively.

It had been a full ten minutes before Severus prepared himself to fight his dizziness and rise to use the loo, and he was beginning to believe the boy would not speak when an uncertain voice drew him from his thoughts.

"Sometimes the dreams are from Voldemort. I can see what he's doing... usually a dark house or alley... I think he's been in America for a few weeks."

Severus finally did sigh. The evil man had indeed been in North America for nearly a month trying to gain new followers, but there was more to Harry's story, and he was determined to hear it.

"And the rest of the dreams?"

Harry looked up with confusion and hurt in his eyes that Severus wasn't prepared for. "I don't understand it," Harry said, shaking his head. "I shouldn't be dreaming about them. I haven't been back for so long." He closed his eyes and shivered, obviously recalling his most recent nightmare, and Severus waited quietly to see if anything else would be forthcoming. Years of being a Head of House, especially with his Slytherins, had taught him that creating an uncomfortable silence usually prompted those around him to speak anything and everything on their mind.

After another moment of staring off at nothing in particular, Harry said again, "I shouldn't be dreaming about them."

His head of house instinct kicked into full gear then and Severus, although he wasn't sure exactly what they were talking about yet, asked, "Are they why you did not wish to return?"

Harry hugged himself tighter and nodded. "I couldn't go back after Sirius. The summer after Cedric dying was... I just couldn't do it. Things only got worse when I couldn't finish the chores and... and with the dreams of him dying again. If I woke anyone there was trouble."

Sure now that Harry was talking about the Dursleys because there was no one else he stayed with who would cause him any trouble, Severus asked carefully, "What happened if you woke someone?"

Harry sat up straighter and put on a face Severus could only classify as stoic. It was a face that said that Harry didn't care, although judging by the way he tried to protect himself and had spent the last half hour fighting to keep control over his emotions, Severus knew he did care.

"The belt with the buckle... on my back. Sometimes a black eye or bloody lip. No food for a few days after."

"And did you wake someone often?"

Harry looked up at him again and Severus saw the boy's lip tremble for the briefest moment before he masked his face again. It was a skill worthy of Severus' own efforts to hide his emotions on a day to day basis. "Every night."

The ever growing knot in Severus' stomach tightened then with the implications. The child in front of him, whom he'd spent the summer protecting and healing had possibly spent an entire summer being abused and neglected. From personal experience Severus knew that if one summer had been that way, they all had been, and he wanted to shudder then knowing that Harry had spent nearly ten years with these people before coming to Hogwarts.

"And you've been dreaming about them recently?"

"I used to dream about them all the time... usually it only lasts for a couple of months after I get back to school and then only every once in a while. But I didn't go back this summer. I couldn't after Sirius! So I don't know why I'm remembering everything in my dreams now."

"Do you fear being sent back?" Even after he said it he knew it was a stupid thing to ask. Of course the boy was.

Harry gave him a frown for his trouble and then said, "Well I've got no place else to go have I? I'm never given the choice, even when I ask. I'd rather live out on my own than be in the midst of a family I can never be a part of."

Perhaps in realization of what he'd just revealed, Harry's eyes widened slightly for a moment and then he looked away quickly, which meant this must have been a piece of truth he'd thought about often and kept private for a long time. Severus' stomach tightened again when he realized that Harry had run away to avoid going back to a family he didn't feel a part of, and had then run away a second time, from his own home with Luna, perhaps for the same reason. Did Harry really want to be part of their family? He had seemed very touched at Luna's offer.

Realizing that he himself had been silent for a few minutes now, Severus said quietly, "I believe both types of nightmare can be controlled via Occlumency."

"I have no one to teach me," Harry said sounding defeated. He was no longer hugging himself, but was playing with his hands now.

"I believe I made a promise to you," Severus said with sincerity. "That you would no longer have to do things alone, did I not?"

Eyes making contact with the darker ones of the older man, Harry bit his shaking lip. What? The man was going to keep his promise to him? It was rare that anybody would make a promise to him, and rarer yet that someone would keep one.

"Can we hide all the jars of cockroaches?"

Severus frowned before he realized that the boy was giving a rare smile, and remembered that he had once flung a jar at the boy's head for snooping in his own private memories stored in a pensive. Feeling bad that he had once tried to do damage to him, Severus cleared his throat again and said, "That will not be necessary." Battling his fatigue and dizziness Severus rose and disappeared, coming back a few minutes later with a glass of something.

"Due to the nature of your disturbing dreams and in the intensity of the ones you have endured tonight, I believe it prudent to begin lessons now. Drink this."

Harry took it, and trusting that the man who had healed him for a month over the summer would not poison him, he drank the clear, tasteless liquid down.

"It is a watered down version of dreamless sleep potion. This is how most Occlumency students begin to learn to clear their minds. With this potion you will be awake but will begin to feel in your mind what it means to occlude it. It will not be completely occluded, but you will learn to get a feel for this and with my help will be able to suppress the rest of your thoughts and emotions."

Harry frowned and said, "It feels like a zombie..." He shut his eyes tight as he felt certain things slipping from his mind and tried to hold on to them, but couldn't. It was strange because he thought he should be feeling in a fog just now, but was feeling sharp and clear, despite his fatigue. The only difference was, there weren't a million distressing things running around his mind and fighting for space and attention.

"Look into my eyes," Severus said, sitting on the couch facing Harry now. "Do not attempt to block me from your mind. I will enter it and help you to occlude the rest of your stray thoughts so that you may go to sleep. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Harry stared into the man's eyes, and while he tried to keep them open, he was so tired and could not. He wasn't yelled at though, and he could feel a calming, strong presence in his mind. Suddenly Harry had the strangest sensation that he was standing in a vast plain of nothingness where he could see each thought that still roamed his mind. Snape didn't say anything, but Harry could feel the man gently ushering stray thoughts aside, as if he were tucking them away, each into a separate closet door, or perhaps tucking them into bed. Harry laughed internally at the thought of Snape tucking anything into bed and could feel the consternation of the other man as he heard Harry's thoughts.

The more thoughts that were tucked and hidden away, the more sleepy Harry felt, and before he knew what had happened, or if he was still awake or asleep, Harry had fallen away from the world of the conscious, and for the first time in ages, into a dreamless world where he could become fully rested.

He would never know that Severus Snape had fallen asleep on the other end of the couch as he finished his exhausting work, a strange feeling inside as he knew he was finally keeping an old promise.

* * *

Ron was worried when Harry didn't show up for classes in the morning. He double checked the dorm and whole of Gryffindor tower before checking in the Hospital Wing. While he and Harry had fought a week ago and not spoken since then, he still felt protective and worried for his friend, and was distressed at the thought then that the last time they couldn't find him, he'd run away.

"He's not gone you know," Ginny told Ron quietly at lunch when Hermione still hadn't shown up because she was searching for Harry in other parts of the castle she thought he might be.

"How do you know?"

She gave him a serene smile, one worthy of Luna, and said, "He'd take me with him if he went. I'd be gone too."

Ron narrowed his eyes, suddenly feeling snarky and still irritated with his friend. "He left you last time, didn't he?"

"That was before he knew I'd go with him. He promised Ron. Harry's never broken a promise, and you know that."

"Yeah, I know that," he sighed. Harry Potter, loyal to the end. It was the redeeming quality in his friend that most saw when they chose to ignore the rest of him, other positive qualities and negative ones.

"Where is he then?"

Ginny looked up to the staff table then and said, "Did you see who else is missing?"

Ron followed her gaze and shrugged. "So? Professor August subbed for him today. He's probably sick."

With a raised brow Ginny said, "Sometimes I wish you'd see what's right in front of you. You're Harry's best friend and you don't see what's really going on with him most of the time."

Ron hit his forehead and face with an open hand and let it slide down his face in frustration with his sister. It wasn't as though he didn't try to understand Harry. He and Hermione spent hours trying to figure him out. They were pretty positive at this point that Harry had run away because he was having trouble dealing with Sirius' death and didn't want to go back to his awful relatives. He had to be given credit for something.

"Come on Ron," she said gently. "Think about it. Professor Snape found Harry over the summer and took him home and took care of him. When Harry ran away a second time Professor Snape brought him back and healed all his injuries. Don't you think they might have grown close over the summer?"

"Harry and Snape? No way!"

Ginny raised her brows again in that way she had of saying she knew something he didn't and his shoulders fell with uncertainty. "You think so?"

"Harry's never had parents like we've had... never had a family. I know we think of him as part of ours and I know he thinks of us as family too, but it's not the same as having someone to trust and confide in and seek advice from. Don't give me that look Ronald. I know we all give each other advice, but it's not the same. Just like you go to dad for advice you wouldn't ask for from mum or me, and you ask Fred and George about stuff you'd never ask Hermione or Harry about. You fall back on different people for different things, and Harry's never had a parent to fall back on."

Ron frowned in thought. He'd known since Cedric had died that Harry had been off. He'd had nightmares all year after Cedric, and just when he seemed to be pulling through, Sirius had died and Harry had sunk right back down to the bottom. His nightmares had only seemed to grow worse as well. He'd seen Harry sick up three or four times now after a particularly bad nightmare, and knew that no matter what he himself had tried, he'd never been able to properly console his friend.

"You really think Snape is helping him?"

"Harry told me some things. He was very upset when Professor Dumbledore just came and took him to bring him to the Burrow. He was finally feeling settled and then he got moved around again without a choice. I know he thinks of Luna like a sister now. It only makes sense that he might be looking to Professor Snape for some sort of guidance."

Ron gave Ginny a sideways glance then and said, "He can always have our parents."

She hit him playfully on the arm then and he relaxed with a small grin. "How'd you get to be so smart for a little sister anyway?"

"Don't know, just consider yourself lucky you've got me." She grinned, and Ron bent his head as his cheeks reddened. Someday she'd thank him for being the smarter older brother, he'd make sure of it. And someday he hoped to regain Harry's trust and make him realize that no matter what, he'd always be there for him.

* * *

Harry was a little surprised to find that he'd been allowed to sleep until noon and miss all of his morning classes, as well as lunch. Professor Snape it turned out had also skipped classes for the day, which meant that he must have told the other staff why.

"Does everyone know?" Harry asked as he ate a sandwich handed to him by his Professor. He paused then as he internally had to refrain from thinking of him as anything more... father was the word unbidden that had jumped into his mind, and he struggled to let the word go.

"I told Minerva that you were sick and recovering in my guest quarters."

"She didn't think it was... suspicious?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I practically announced to the staff that you were under my care and protection when I saved you from Mr. Filch. While Horace seems to believe I am only as fond of you as everyone else, Minerva has insisted on ribbing me about it since then. She did not question me however when I told her you had stayed the night with me. Only order members know that you stayed the summer with me, and as such Order members do not question actions taken to protect other members.

Harry swallowed the bite he'd been chewing and stared at his Professor. "I'm... I'm a member of the Order?" He'd practically begged to be let into the Order last year, all the way up to when Sirius had died.

With another eye roll Severus said, "You've been a member of the order since the day the prophecy was given about you Potter. You know as well as any other Order member how integral your role is to be in the downfall of the dark lord. Whilst some may wish to protect your innocence, it is not theirs to say when or how you join the Order. Your life depends on information and it is no ones right to keep information from you involving you."

"I- I thought you didn't want me to be a part of it. You were always so-" he was going to finish with mean but decided against it.

"Yes well," Severus cleared his throat. "I have always been one of the proponents of you being told what you need to survive. Loath as I am to say it, along with Black, Lupin, and a handful of others including Mr. Weasley." Harry wondered how much fighting he must have caused without even knowing it between Mr. and Mrs. Weasley then, because he knew for a fact that Molly Weasley had spoken out against him knowing anything on several occasions.

"Now, about your Occlumency lessons."

Harry's attention was drawn back to the man on the other side of the small kitchen table again.

"Until you can occlude your mind on your own, it would be wise to have lessons once a day, perhaps even twice, but especially before bed."

"How can we do that? Filch tripped me coming down here last night and I'm sure to get detention or get caught by some Slytherins if I keep coming down here."

"I have thought on this already. If you should need to come to the Dungeons to see me, and are caught, you will say that you are serving detention with me, even, in the middle of the night," he added. As for lessons before bed, I will meet you in a classroom or guest room near Gryffindor tower each night. The Headmaster has already agreed that with your visions of the dark lord that it is necessary to continue with these lessons.

Harry looked away then with a frown on his face, and Severus noticed that the top of the boy's ears had turned slightly red.

"Is there something you wish to add?"

Harry looked back up and fought with himself to tell the truth. He'd told the truth the night before, hadn't he? And look how it had ended up... pretty decently he had to admit. He'd been treated with respect and had finally gotten a full night's rest. And a promise had been kept.

"I hate that he has something to do with everything involving me. Whenever he steps in I don't get a choice. Everything's ‘for my benefit' but I know it's not. There's no way that the Dursley's were ever to my ‘benefit.'"

Severus nodded. "Even so, he is the Headmaster at this school and the head of the Order of the Phoenix. Things involving students on school grounds such as extra lessons are generally first approved by him, and things involving the dark lord are also run by him. It is your misfortune that you are in the middle of both the man's school and the man's battle with evil."

It made sense but feeling sulky Harry said, "It still doesn't mean I'm his property. I don't want him to know anything about me."

Figuring as much, Severus had kept as much about Harry quiet as he could. It was not a secret that he had protested the Headmaster taking Harry back to the Burrow however, and thus Albus knew that Severus had taken it upon himself to protect and look after Harry, promise to Lily or no promise.

"I have not told him anything you have told me, and will not reveal anything you do not wish me to."

Harry looked up, amazed again for what must have been the tenth time in the last 24 hours. "Promise?" he asked tentatively.

Severus nodded, and Harry went back to his sandwich with a small, satisfied smile. How he had gotten two promises (three really if you counted the one he'd made to Lily) from the man, and had gotten him to keep two of them already he'd never know. He hoped things would stay this way though. He wasn't going to give it up easily if it came down to it, that was for sure. Harry would continue to hold on to all he thought was safe.

Leaning on the desk with uncharacteristically shaky hands was Severus, shaken by what he had just seen in the boy's mind. Harry had not expelled him from his mind, as that was not the task, but rather when the boy had begun shaking with fear of the memory, Severus had ended the spell and removed himself.

"What was I seeing?"

Harry looked up, suddenly angry. "You saw." He didn't want to repeat the incident out loud.

"I saw," Severus repeated, successfully gaining some control over his voice. "I was also unable to shut the memory away, which means that you will not be capable of this task on your own. From personal experience I can tell you that these are memories that must first be confronted before they may be tamed."

Harry pushed himself up off the floor, shaking still but angry. "And how the hell am I supposed to do that?"

Severus sighed and worked to stay cool and collected for his pupil's sake. "Tell me what I was seeing."

Harry crossed his arms and turned away, stalking across the room. He turned back once and then turned away again, standing silently for a few moments as he collected his thoughts.

"You saw me tied in the shed with a bowl of dog food next to me."

"For what offense were you placed there?"

"Does it matter?" Harry spat out, spinning around to face him. "Why do you assume I did something to deserve it?"

"Nobody could do something to deserve to be treated inhumanely. I wondered if the Muggles you lived with believed they had a logical reason to such a horrid thing to you."

Harry glared at him and then stared at the floor, arms crossed again as he leaned against a desk.

"I got better grades than Dudley. They think I'm some sort of animal, and I did better in school than Dudley then what did that make him?"

"What grade did you get?"

Harry threw his hands down, feeling exasperated. "Does it really matter?"

Standing straight Severus fell into teacher mode and said, "In this case it is important to explore the subject thoroughly so you can have a firm grasp of what happened, and your feelings about it. If you do not yet have a firm grasp of it, you will not be able to occlude the memory in time of need. It will nag at you until you deal with it."

Harry sighed now and closed his eyes. "I got straight A's. Dudley got D's. It was the year before I came to Hogwarts and when they let me back in the house at the end of the weekend I was sunburned and dirty and I hated myself because I was just like a dog."

"Do you believe this now?"

"No," Harry spat it out, although in the back of his mind he held a different answer. At a searching look from Severus however he rolled his eyes and said softly, "Sometimes."

"Why?"

Biting his lip now Harry thought about it for nearly ten minutes before he went on to tell Severus that smart people weren't the cause for the deaths of others, but stupid animals could be, and thus far he had managed to get Cedric and Sirius both killed. The more he thought on those events, and how certain other people treated him, he thought there must be a reason for these things.

Harry and Severus talked well into the night, and at near midnight, Harry was finally able to occlude this and several other memories from his mind. His sleep wasn't peaceful that night, but it was at least a little less hostile and disturbing. Severus could not say the same for his own sleep however, for while he'd helped Harry tuck some things away, he now had new memories... memories not his own that he had to deal with himself.

* * *

Harry was less resistant as the Occlumency lessons went on. He questioned less when Severus asked him to reveal something, and as the days wore on he was able to get a feel for what it meant to tuck a memory away and was able to start occluding properly before going to sleep. Severus suspected however that this may not be all his doing, as he had witnessed Harry talking to the youngest Weasley son one day in the hallway, and after that things had gone better for them. It was something that would not remain a secret between them however as Severus shifted through memories in Harry's mind as Harry was still learning to tuck things into internal pockets of his mind.

Severus watched in the boy's mind as Ron had approached him and apologized for not thinking about all the things Harry was going through. While Harry seemed cautious in the memory, Severus could feel overall that the boy was pleased that his friend had told him in the end that he would be there for him no matter what, just as Harry had always been there for him.

Given how cautious Harry had been in the past with other people, especially him, Severus wondered at the teenager's loyalty to his friends, who must have surely proven themselves time and again in the boy's mind in order for him to forgive such a slip in judgment so easily. More than forgive, he trusted his friend wholeheartedly again, and Severus could feel it in their connected minds during the lesson immediately following the incident. Clearly there was more to Harry Potter than Severus was seeing even in his mind, and strange as it was, he someday hoped to know the boy well enough to be able to understand him.

* * *

Harry's stomach grumbled loudly and he looked up, cheeks slightly red with embarrassment. It was an embarrassing noise after all, to have one's stomach growl so loudly that it appeared to have echoed off of the small classroom's walls.

Being Saturday Harry had had Quidditch practice, and had therefore missed lunch before coming to an early Occlumency lesson, which he had requested because he had a pile of mounting homework sitting on his dormitory desk that was due on Monday and he wanted the night to work on it with Hermione.

"I believe your stomach is talking to you Mr. Potter."

"Huh?" He looked up and his cheeks turned red again. That sounded like a very Luna-like thing to say. Stomachs didn't talk, they just embarrassed loudly.

"Did you miss lunch?"

"Uh, yeah. Quidditch practice."

"I see. Perhaps an early end to the lesson would be in order then so that you can get something eat."

"The kitchens are closed though sir." Harry knew from experience that the house elves were picky about who they served late meals to as they had other cleaning and activities to do between feeding hundreds of students and staff. Even Dobby had turned him away once when Harry had come seeking food when he'd missed dinner for detention once. That detention had been with Snape ironically enough.

"I am well aware. If you are amenable, I will give you something to eat in my quarters."

Harry bit his lip. This was the first time he'd been invited to see Snape in his quarters. He'd gone of his own accord the one time he'd had the nightmare and slept on the couch. He knew Luna went there to have meals with the man sometimes when Slytherins weren't around, but Harry had felt too nervous about inviting himself to a meal.

"Well?"

Harry looked up, realizing he'd been thinking to himself for a few moments too long. "Yes sir," he said. Just before Snape reached the classroom door however, Harry said, "Wait, it's not that pasta is it?"

Severus turned around and put his hands on his hips. "It is not. I believed you liked the pasta.

Harry made a face and stuck is tongue out, temporarily forgetting who he was standing in front of talking to. "It had that nasty green sauce on it! I thought you were punishing me!"

Crossing his arms Severus said, "It is pesto sauce and Luna did not complain when I served it to her." He opened the door, holding it wide for Harry to pass through ahead of him.

"Was she in trouble too?" Harry looked up to him with a cheeky grin and Severus had the inexplicable urge to tousle the boy's messy black hair, only just managing to restrain his hand.

"Brat," he settled with saying, although he wore a smile, and Harry gave a short laugh before following him down through the castle. They were lucky not to encounter anyone on their way down, and Harry was thankful that his good mood didn't have to be ruined by Professor Snape having to pretend to be marching him off to detention in an angry mood.

* * *

Luna looked serene as she sat on her adoptive father's couch and read a book. She had let herself in with the password she'd been given so that she could get into the guest room, which had been transformed into a close copy of her room back at the house.

"You are here early," Severus observed as he walked down the hallway still half asleep and into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of strong coffee.

She waited until he shuffled back into the living room a minute later with his coffee and sat down in the recliner to answer him. "Oh, it was a beautiful sunrise today that I watched. Daddy always said that the fate sprites are out at sunrise and sunset, and sometimes they sneak out when they're needed at other times but they frolic when the sun comes and goes."

He took a sip of his coffee and asked, "And did you see any?"

"I saw some twinkling out over the lake, and there was a breeze blowing through the trees. I think it was the light of understanding and the breeze of change blowing through. I'm sure the fate sprites are up to something." She gave him a serene smile as she took a bite of a biscuit he hadn't seen sitting beside her on a plate. She had gotten into the biscuit jar he kept on the counter. Harry he noticed liked to get into it too before he'd had any real food to eat.

"Will you be eating a real breakfast this morning?"

She smiled and said, "Of course I will, daddy always says to eat a good breakfast."

"A wise man," Severus commented, thinking that he had often said the same thing to her and Harry over the summer.

She rose then and gave him a rare hug around the shoulders from the side of the chair, and said, "Of course you are." Then she skipped away into the kitchen and he heard pots and pans. His first thought was not of the comment or the hug, but of what concoction she might come up with that he would be forced to eat under polite duress. He had learned that Harry could indeed cook, but Luna could not, or at least had not yet made anything enjoyably edible. His mind becoming less fuzzy from sleep with the next sip of coffee however, and he finally made it back around to the comment and hug.

‘A wise man.' ‘Of course you are.' Wait, hadn't he been talking about her father? The cogs turned a little more and he rose his eyebrows and looked towards the kitchen where he heard some pots banging against each other again. She had called him ‘daddy', and given him a hug. She had given him several hugs since he had taken custody of her five months before, but usually they were after he'd done something especially nice for her, or if she'd been upset, such as when Albus had come to take Harry to the Weasley's. What had he done to deserve this?

Still pondering on the new name she had given him, Severus waited until Luna appeared with two bagels covered in cream cheese and chives. It looked passably edible, and he was grateful that it had no funny tastes or ingredients added, although he wondered what all the banging of pots and pans had been about. Pushing the questions aside, Severus cleared his throat and looked at Luna.

"I wanted to ask you something of importance."

She looked curious and waited patiently for him to continue. He wanted to ask her to be honest with him in answer to his question, but scratched the comment, knowing she had yet to be dishonest with him.

"Does the amount of time I've been spending with Harry bother you? I have had little time to spare in the last few weeks and I had no intention from excluding you from any activities that would have occurred otherwise. She was fond of playing wizard's chess or sometimes Gobstones after a meal, or getting help with her Potions homework, and he had hardly seen her in the last week and a half for all the time he was spending with Harry. Harry was now venturing down to his quarters under the pretense of being in detention more often, and had actually shown up for dinner a few times when he noticed that Severus was not in the Great Hall with the rest of the staff and student body.

"Don't be silly. I know it's time well spent," she said, taking a bit of her bagel and looking as though she were savoring it. He noticed that there was something sparkly on the top of her bagel, and wanted to ask if it was sugar, but decided to press on with his line of questioning first.

"It does not bother you then?"

She set her bagel down and said, "I think I know what the fate sprites are up to, wouldn't you know? I thought I heard them whispering in the wind and I'm happy to know what they plan."

"Does it involve gnome dust?" She giggled then and shook her head and he sighed in relief. He'd been sitting on the couch one day reading the Daily Prophet when she'd come up behind him and dumped an entire sack of dirt over the top of his head. It was only Luna's calm demeanor and attitude that kept him from leaping up and spilling forth wrothful words. She simply looked at him and asked if he could think more clearly and explained that Knargles often vacated a mind when gnome dust was spread over its owner, because Knargles would not go where gnomes had tread. He wondered if she'd actually collected the dirt from the grounds garden gnomes.

"And what do the fate sprites plan?" Severus asked, shaking himself of the mental image of himself covered in fine brown dirt and dust.

"I think they know how much Harry needs us. I'm sure he'll make a wonderful edition to our family."

Severus hesitated and then asked, "You wish Harry to become part of our family?"

"Oh yes, haven't you seen him with the others again? And I was walking to the library yesterday and I heard him laughing. Not just a chuckle or a giggle, but a loud laugh full of happiness and joy. Wouldn't you know what he was laughing at?" She paused to see that Severus did know, and then finished, "He was laughing at something you said. How often does Harry laugh? A lot more since he's been spending time with us."

"He spends time with you?"

"Yes, he and Ginny and I study together sometimes, and on the weekends we duel on the lawns and Harry takes Ginny flying in the pitch while I draw them in the stands."

She tilted her head then, and asked, "Don't you wish he could be part of our family?" Then she rose and went to the kitchen to wash her plate and perhaps dip into the sugar again, which he knew he'd have to hide now or lock with a spell with two teenagers with a sweet tooth around.

Her question bounced around in his head. ‘Don't you wish he could be part of our family?' Harry did need him, and he could not deny the change in the boy since he had been spending time with him both inside and outside of lessons. Harry's mood had dramatically changed and his outlook had changed for the better. Minerva had even informed him that most of Harry's grades had increased as well, and Severus doubted very much that that had anything to do with reuniting with Weasley.

As the day wore on and Severus made his way through another Occlumency lesson with Harry, where he witnessed more horrible emotional offenses against the child by Muggles and wizards alike, he realized something that perhaps had slipped through his grasp before. Having Luna with him had softened him to some degree, made him feel more amenable to having someone else living in his home, someone to spend time with and teach and console. But Harry had broken down any barriers he'd had left, and the truth was, that since Harry... he'd felt more human that ever before. Did he want Harry to be part of their family? He could not deny the answer.

Severus paced. Perhaps he had been rash. ‘Don't you wish he could be part of our family?' The new scroll of parchment sitting on the coffee table caught his eye, and he could not resist the urge to release a small smile. Despite the smile however, there was an irritating feeling inside. It was that of irrational fear that did not seem so irrational to Severus.

Luna had been easy to deal with in general, he told himself, despite her eccentricities, the several suitors she did not seem to be interested in, and her nature to act as if she were an adult. He could deal with these things, and felt he would find a way to deal with whatever else the girl came up with, be it gnome dust or the candles she lit to guide the fate sprites, or something else.

Harry was different though. Hadn't he given the child detention too many times for sneaking out after hours? Had the teenager not spent detention with every other professor in the school at least once for some sort of mis-recreation, as Minerva had put it? Granted, there was the possibility that some of those had been unfair (especially most of his own), but the fact remained. This was a teenage boy almost sure to cause a headache each day.

Severus eyed the parchment once more before he sat down with his head in his hand. The question was, was he willing to deal with these things? He'd dealt with similar in his house each day, but his house had a certain level of fear and respect for him, one that Potter did not seem to have for his own head of house as he flaunted every school rule. Bad parenting, came an unbidden voice in the back of his mind, and that can be changed, he thought in response.

He sat for another full hour thinking of the different troubles the boy might get into, and asked himself of each one, ‘Do I want to deal with that?" The answer was not always yes, but in answer to the question, ‘Will I survive?', the answer was the same.

Making up his mind and finally feeling at peace with it, Severus left the scroll where Luna might see it if she came in, and prepared himself for the day of classes ahead. He smiled on the way out.

* * *

"Ah!" Harry leapt out of the way as a firework exploded in the face of a dragon and tried to bite him.

Ron and Hermione laughed but then ran for cover when Harry chose a blue colored snap and hurtled it at Ron's head, where it hit home and exploded into a gush of water that soaked his friend down to his sneakers.

"Ha!" Harry shouted. Ginny giggled at his side and so did Hermione across the clearing.

"Hey!" Ron shouted, wiping water from his eyes. "If you're going to play that way then you can have a taste of your own magic!" Before Harry knew what was happening, Ron had tackled him and Harry went over backwards into the lake, Ron going with him into the shallow pool they played beside.

"That's not fair," Ginny said quietly. "You didn't use a snap to push him in!" But Ron wasn't listening, and neither was Harry as Harry pushed Ron's head under, only to be dragged under himself. When they resurfaced they both laughed and splashed each other with water. They didn't notice the visitors they had.

"Hi Hermione."

Hermione and Ginny turned to find Neville and Luna, and both sets of eyes traveled down to the pair of hands that were intertwined. Ginny grinned and Hermione raised her brows with a small knowing smile. She'd known for some time that Neville liked Luna, and had it on good authority from Ginny that Luna liked him as well.

"It's a lovely day for a swim, although a bit chilly," Luna commented at Harry and Ron still splashing, despite the wind that had picked up and the leaves that had almost all fallen from the trees as winter readied itself to descend upon them.

"We were playing Exploding Snap," Hermione said. "Harry doused him with a water snap and Ron took him into the lake."

Ginny nodded and said, "Better them than us." This was when she noticed that Luna had let go of Neville's hand and taken two or three steps back, but it was too late to turn and see that Harry and Ron were no longer splashing but were instead near to Ginny and Hermione's ankles. Both girls screamed as Ron and Harry yanked hard and they went into the water.

"Oh! It's cold! It's cold!" Hermione screamed, and Ginny set about to splashing Harry and trying to push him under.

"I'm glad they're having fun," Neville commented as someone splashed too hard and he got a face full of water.

"Yes, they do seem to be enjoying themselves now that Harry is back to normal."

She smiled serenely as Neville looked at their friends and how much fun they were having, and then back at Luna. He was taken off guard by her though when she said, "Would you like to throw me into the lake Neville?" She looked at him to see his grin, and then closed her eyes as he had picked her up and run into the water with her in his arms, small as she was.

No one spied the teenagers taking the time to be children while they still could, although Severus, Albus, and Minerva guessed at what had happened as they spied the soaking group walking up through the castle at different points, and at the smile on all of their faces, the staff were happy.

* * *

Harry Potter's face was red. The bright shade of red you'd expect on a clown's nose in fact. It wasn't every day that you were caught in an embarrassing situation and then hauled down through the castle to the dungeons to face what you were sure would be an angry man whom you'd come to respect. It was more than that really, Harry pondered as he waited in Professor Snape's empty office. He'd finally begun to consider himself part of Severus and Luna's family, at least in the way that he felt he was perhaps wanted and not despised. Hadn't he been happy, almost overtly so in the past couple of weeks? He'd certainly heard comments between Ron and Hermione to that effect, and Ron had told him he was glad to have his friend back. Harry had to agree, as he certainly had felt as though he had gone on a long journey and not yet returned. He was back now though.

Back to trouble, he thought as he fidgeted with his hands. Professor Sprout had blown things way out of proportion in his opinion. There was really no need to drag Ginny up to the Hospital Wing, as if Harry had done something to harm her. Really, all they'd been doing was kissing in the corridor. A dark corridor. And maybe hugging a little close. But that was beside the point! He hadn't really done anything wrong at all! How many times had he seen students doing the same thing? Wasn't he allowed to do the things other normal teenagers were?

Feeling uncomfortable waiting around in the empty office for his fate, Harry at least took comfort in the fact that Severus would believe him. He had to, right? Hadn't Harry proven himself already? He felt that he certainly must have or else the man wouldn't be so kind to him now. Harry finally felt worthy of someone's affection, and he was confident things would turn out fine.

His confidence faltered when the door to the office banged open and almost hit him, and then shut abruptly again. Severus stood there with his hands on his hips as though he'd already had his mind made up, and Harry's face reddened again at the stare.

"I just had a most interesting conversation with Professor Sprout," he said in a voice calmer than his face called for. "Do you have any idea what it entailed?"

Harry bit his lip and raised his brows. Oh, he bet he did know.

"Uh..." Harry didn't want to say anything more than that though, which was fine because Severus began talking again.

"That young man you claim to be looking after Severus has just been caught in a dark secluded corridor with a young woman. I've had to take her to the Hospital Wing to talk to Poppy. Perhaps you should talk to Harry about you know what before he makes a little you know what and has to learn the hard way how these things work!" The replay of what she'd said was very punctuated as though Sprout had actually spoken that way, and he bet she had.

Severus was red now too at having to repeat what had been said to him. "What do you have to say for yourself?" That calm voice was gone and Harry bit his lip.

"It's not what you think. She's making a huge deal out of it. We weren't doing anything really."

"Oh? Why has she taken Miss Weasley to the Hospital Wing then?"

Harry put his hand up to his face. "I have no idea," he said, voice muffled by his hand as it slid down. "We wouldn't do anything in public."

"But you would in private?"

"Ugh. I didn't say that!"

In the split second before the next words left his mouth, Severus thought back to the list of things he'd gone over in his mind that he would be ready and willing to deal with if Harry did them. This was not one of those things he'd thought of, and he said loudly, "You think I wanted this Harry?! You think I wanted to deal with these kinds of things?"

When Harry hadn't responded and Severus looked to the boy's face to see that tears had welled up in his eyes but not yet trailed down, it was already too late to take back what he'd said. For while he said one thing, Harry heard another.

Harry's heart felt like it would explode in pain. Snape didn't want him after all. Hadn't he just said he didn't want to deal with him? Didn't want to deal with the things a normal teenage boy did? Maybe Harry wasn't normal... wasn't deserving. He would never be.

Backing out of the room before the tears splashed down his face Harry took one last look at the man's face, noting that it seemed off somehow, and then ran. He didn't know where he was going, only that it had to be far away from here. The thought of an alley somewhere and food from a trash can seemed fitting for him and he tore out of the dungeons and out the front door of the castle. He didn't even deserve Ginny, and would not be able to go back for her until he did, if he was ever able to go back at all.

Harry was halfway across the grounds when a boulder smashed sideways into him and took him down to the grass painfully. He barely had time to register that perhaps it had been a person who had tackled him and not a boulder when Snape's voice said urgently, "Not this time Harry. I'm not letting you disappear this time. You're going to have to find a way to deal with it instead of running from it."

"No! I hate you! I hate you!"

Harry pounded on Severus' chest, hurt and upset that he had been lured into a false sense of security once again. He had been lead to believe that perhaps things could turn out all right for him in the end, that he might actually be able to have a family, and now he knew it was all a lie. Everything was always a lie, even his hopes and dreams.

"Me too Harry," Severus said desperately, still trying to restrain the boy's arms as he kneeled on the wet grass in the middle of the day, "I hate me too Harry, for saying something like that to you. You didn't deserve that, and you have every right to be upset, but please, please don't run."

"Why? You promised me! You promised I wouldn't have to do it alone anymore! And you don't even want me! Nobody ever does!" He fell face first to the ground and began crying with full force. He would never be whole, and his heart was ripping to shreds as he finally admitted that some things were not meant to be, and his happiness was one of them.

"I do."

It was a solitary voice in the quiet grounds, soft and certain. Harry wanted to take reassurance from it, but couldn't.

He sat up and dried his eyes on his sleeve and said, "I hate you for giving me faith in nothing. I need you and I can never feel safe. I can never know that you won't just kick me out on my arse."

There was silence between them as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Yes you can," came the lone voice in the wild that was life, "Be my son."

"Wh- what?"

Severus' voice cracked for perhaps the first time since he was sixteen as he said, "I had the adoption papers drawn up last week. I was just waiting for the right time to ask. I can't promise you I'll be the perfect parent, but I can promise you I'll be there."

Silence floated between them then, and before he knew what was happening, Severus found himself with an armful of shaking teenager covered in mud and wet grass. They sat there like that on the grounds as the sky turned to twilight, and were content not to rise and go inside. Harry was content not to move ever. He was going to have a family. He finally had a family.

He had stayed the night in Severus quarters, his future father... his new father helping him occlude his mind before bed, and as Harry drifted off, he wondered at how much he trusted and wanted to keep trusting this man. He'd taken pretty good care of Luna after all hadn't he? She certainly did seem happy with him. And wasn't he happy with Professor Snape as well?

It was morning now and Harry sat up from where he'd slept on the couch, stretching and looking around the ‘family' quarters that he was now invited into whenever he pleased, although his relationship with Severus had to be kept secret to the general public, just as Luna's had to be, else they all be in danger from Voldemort and his spies. At least the Order could know, he thought, and those were the people that mattered to him the most... the ones who cared to stand up for what they believed in. They made sure none of them would stand alone, and now for the first time, Harry felt a part of that. Previously it had always been his belief that one should stand up for what one believes in even if they had to stand alone. Now he believed that one should stand up for what one believes in, taking comfort in knowing he would never be alone again.

Harry looked at his watch and noticed that it was early yet and Snape... his father was probably still sleeping, so he rose and made his way out of the quarters, checking that the corridor was empty before he left. He made his way up through the Dungeons, and had just emerged into the brightly lit Entrance Hall when he heard a gentle, "Hey," call out to him from the stairs. His eyes roamed to find the voice, and found Ginny sitting on the steps looking at him shyly.

"Hey yourself," he said quietly, going to sit beside her. The sun had probably just risen and there was no one else about this early except perhaps house elves, preparing Saturday breakfast for the masses.

They sat quietly for a few long moments and then Harry asked, "Did you get in trouble?"

She leaned into him then playfully and he took her hand as they sat shoulder to shoulder. "No more than you probably did. I got a long talk with diagrams and a lot of uncomfortable pointing by Madam Pomfrey at a ‘correct' statue."

Harry laughed then and ran his hand over his face and through his hair, shaking his head as he looked at the stairs beneath his feet. "They blew that way out of proportion."

"Yeah," she said. "I thought for sure you'd been scrubbing floors all night for Professor Snape when you didn't come back. I waited for you."

"You've been sitting here all night?"

"Almost. Four a.m. I think."

Harry looked into her eyes with such gratitude that she blushed a little before giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I have something to tell you," Harry said.

"You got the talk too?"

He laughed again and said, "Oh yeah," as he blushed again. "No diagrams or statues though."

"What is it?"

Harry was quiet as he smiled, still amazed by all that had happened. "I got really upset last night with him... Professor Snape I mean." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling content to sit there with Ginny in the quiet Entrance Hall forever. "I tried running again... but he wouldn't let me. Tackled me actually. I have a big bruise on my elbow from where I got plowed into the grass."

She looked concerned as he lifted his sleeve to show her the bruise, but waited quietly for him to continue.

"He told me he wouldn't let me run anymore. Said... he said he wanted me to be his son."

"Harry, do you mean it?"

He smiled a tired smile as he looked at her and nodded. "He had the papers drawn up for it last week. They were waiting in his quarters for me to sign."

"Did you do it?"

He shook his head. "No, there has to be witnesses. I wanted you to be there. I guess it's a big ceremony."

She hugged him around the neck then. "I'm glad you came back Harry, and I'm happy that you've finally found what you've been looking for."

"Me too," he said quietly, closing his eyes. "Because you were part of it. You helped hold me together, and I hope you always will."

She sighed contentedly into his shoulder and said, "I will Harry. I will." And Harry believed her.

* * * ~One Month Later - Three Days Before Christmas~ * * *

Harry fidgeted nervously with his hands in the back room as he fiddled with his long dark blue tie. He couldn't remember the spell he'd once used to tie it for the Yule Ball in his fourth year, and he had only minutes now until he needed it to look perfect.

The door behind him opened and he saw Severus in the mirror as he shut the door and came in wearing something akin to a Muggle suit, but with a definite air of magic about it. Perhaps it was the lucky snitch socks Luna had insisted he wear under his black shoes that nobody could see, but Harry knew were there.

"How's it coming?"

"I can't get it. I can't remember the spell and I never learned to tie it the Muggle way," Harry said, frustrated.

Severus came up behind him and motioned for Harry to drop his hands as he reached around the boy's neck on both sides and began to tie it. "Like this," he said smoothly. "This is the proper way to wizard tie a Muggle tie without a wand."

"Wizard tie?"

"They call it the Severus Snape knot."

Harry scoffed lightly and rolled his eyes and saw Severus smile behind him as he finished the knot. "There, perfect," he said, "like a gentleman." They both smiled and Harry was happy that he looked as perfect as he felt for once. His hair still stood up at odd angles, but that was ok, because Severus had said it was perfect, and so it was.

"Are they all here?"

"They are waiting in the room of requirement beyond the door. Are you ready?"

Harry turned to stare at the brown door, and nodded. Beyond that door lay the ceremony set in a beautiful forest the room had conjured for them. Beyond that door lay his future, with a family and friends that he knew he could count on; that he knew would always be there for him, no matter what.

"I wanted to talk to you before the ceremony," Severus said, and gained Harry's attention. He caught the slightly panicked look that crossed the boy's face but held up a hand to forestall it. "I have not changed my mind. I wished to talk to you about the type of life you will lead after you walk through that door."

"Oh, ok."

Severus put his hands on Harry's shoulders as he looked into his eyes, and said, "You can no longer live life as though you've got nothing to lose. It can no longer be a reckless life that is lived only for yourself and your welfare without consideration of how your actions might affect those who care for you. I want you to understand that your welfare rests in our hands now, specifically mine, and I will always have your welfare in mind in actions regarding you. I made a promise to you once Harry, that you would not have to live on your own any longer, and I intend to keep it to the best of my ability. I want you to remember that promise too."

Feeling choked up now with emotion that was ready to overwhelm him, Harry bit his trembling lip and closed his eyes before tears could fully well up in them. He placed his forehead on Severus' warm chest and nodded. "I think I finally know," he said.

"Good," Severus said, licking his lower lip and then standing up straight. Harry turned to the door and Severus placed his hands on Harry's shoulders from behind one last time to give him comfort and courage to walk through the door. In a last ironic thought as Harry reached for the handle, he realized that they could hold the ceremony in no more fitting a place, as the room of requirement did it's best to give what one wished, and here he was gaining everything he'd ever hoped and wished for in one sitting.

On the other side Harry walked into a green forest filled with white barked birch and aspen trees and a few evergreens, where light filtered through liberally on the party of friends and family that had amassed there just for him. It felt like a wedding, Harry thought, as he saw the Weasleys standing near a table covered in an intricate white cloth and piled high with food, talking to Hermione and McGonagall. Neville and Luna were holding hands as they sat quietly in some white chairs, and Dumbledore was there as well in order to officiate. Hagrid, Dobby, Remus, and Tonks stood in a group together talking and laughing.

They smiled as Harry walked out, and while Harry thought he saw a gleam of sadness in Remus' eyes, when he looked again all he saw was one of his closest friends... one of his dad's closest friends, encouraging him to take on this new challenge... this new blessing in life. Harry grinned gratefully and allowed Severus to guide him with a hand on his shoulder to the front of the gathering.

As everybody that Harry loved and trusted gathered around himself and his new father, with Dumbledore in front of the two of them, Harry realized something that gave him pause. Where once he had nothing to lose and everything to gain, he now had everything to lose if he wasn't careful. Knowing this he was determined to devote himself to never taking for granted what once he only dreamed of having.

Harry took a knee in front of Severus, who stood with a sword that was the heirloom of the Prince family, a sparkling clear gem in the center of the hilt.

"Harry James Potter," Dumbledore said with a warm smile down at him. "Do you swear to take on the family name of Snape, and all that this man has made it stand for?

"I do." Yes, it was everything he'd dreamed of having, and he would guard it with the very essence of his being.

Epilogue

Harry James Potter Snape is my brother in more than blood, he is my brother in heart and soul, our father's son, his wife's husband and children's father, the type of friend every friend wants to have. Nobody who knows Harry on a personal level can walk away without a smile on their face at the type of friendship he offers... it's the kind that knows no bounds because he was once a boy who knew not what it meant to have such a friend.

All has ended well for our family and it is more than I could have dreamed of. We have persevered through desperation, heartbreak and knargles, and all are determined as intertwined as we are, to never let anything come between us.

So just remember... who knows who it is that you'll meet that will become part of your family. You may just meet them in the most unlikely of places. I did, and look how it turned out for me! Wonderfully, and it will make the fate sprites smile to know it.

 The End

Afterward:

Harry and Ginny marry and have three children of their own before adopting three more. Neville and Luna marry (despite Neville's fear of Severus) though Severus continues to change and grow, and he and Neville become almost as close as he and Harry. Neville and Luna have one little girl. Ron and Hermione marry and have several children. Harry finally feels as though he is a real part of the Weasley family, and now has two happy families! Harry's children and nieces and nephews never know the pain or suffering he has known, and never know the heartbreak of war.

Severus is happy.

So is Harry.