Severus continued searching his Manor, even as it got darker outside. He couldn’t fathom where the boy had gone, he didn’t even know if he was hurt or worse.

“Harry, where are you?!” He yelled out, his voice turning hoarse from how long he had been doing that.

He would never forgive himself if anything happened to the boy. He shook his head, he was no better than Black. The only difference was that Severus hadn’t laid a finger on the child. In a way he had done worse, what if he had shattered the boy’s fragile mind? What if Harry was afraid of him? He didn’t think he could bear it if Harry started hating him like he used too.

Now that he wasn’t rejecting his feeling of protectiveness he couldn’t imagine Harry not being here with him. He wanted Harry to come with him with his problems, he wanted to be the one who fixed them and made it ok. Severus never thought he would want a child, and he didn’t, not really. Honestly all he wanted was Harry, but he was terrified that he had lost him.

As the day turned into night his stomach growled and he wondered if the child was hungry. He knew that he couldn’t afford to skip a meal, and he didn’t really want to eat when the boy obviously couldn’t. He found him himself continuing his search, even well after midnight to no avail.

As he sat down in the sitting room and looked around, he couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his mentor’s eyes, when he told him about losing the boy. He would find Harry; he just needed to take a moment to rest. Severus soon drifted off into a restless sleep, even his dreams were focused on one thing and that was finding green eyed child.

The next morning had Harry wincing as he sat up and stretched in his small hideaway. For a moment he was confused as to why he was lying in the closet before he remembered. What time was it anyways? His stomach growled loudly and he rubbed it, reminding himself he hadn’t really eaten lunch. He opened the door surprised to see light, was it already tomorrow? He glanced at the clock to find it at 7:00am and he shook his head.

He didn’t mean to sleep that long. He yawned once; though the rest as uncomfortable as it was did help him.As he sat down on his bed and tried to figure out if Snape was still mad at him he became aware of something else other then hunger that was now nudging him. His bladder was quite full and unless he wanted to have a mess in his room he knew he’d better get up. Walking on his tippy toes, Harry opened the door as quietly as he could before looking out into the hall.

 He breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t see Snape and he quickly sprinted to the bathroom to take care of his duties. He finished up and walked out the bathroom, with that out of the way he wondered if he could go into the kitchen and nick some food before Snape came. He was following something that always worked for him at the Durselys; out of sight out of mind. Unaware that Snape didn’t believe that in the slightest, as Harry was the only thing on his mind.

He made his way to the kitchen no problem, avoiding looking at the sitting room as he passed not wanting to be reminded of the cause of this fight before grabbing a napkin. He quickly grabbed a few pieces of toast, hoping the man wouldn’t notice them missing considering how much bread was actually on the table. He grabbed a piece of fruit and shoved it into his pocket before quickly drinking a cup of juice nearly choking on it from how fast he was trying to get it down.After his thirst was quenched, Harry started the walk back to his room.

As he was walking pass the sitting room he couldn’t stop his eyes from glancing in and they widened in shock. There was Snape on a chair sleeping. He could see the bags under the man’s eyes, were they that bad yesterday? As much as he wanted to go in he didn’t, not wanting to invoke the wrath of him. Harry sighed before hurrying up the stairs to his room and back to his hideout.

Severus slowly opened his eyes and blinked then from the brightness of the sun. He groaned as he sat up, sleeping in the chair hadn’t been the best idea. Then again, he hadn’t meant to fall asleep last night, or was it this morning. He looked down at himself, still in yesterday’s clothes before heading towards the bathroom. Coming out he walked into the kitchen to see the food untouched and alone. So guess Harry hadn’t eaten breakfast either, he had hoped that the hunger would flush the boy out, but it didn’t.

Severus sighed softly before walking up the steps. As he passed Harry’s room he found himself opening it, even though he knew that the child wasn’t in it. He walked around the room, looking at the boy’s things, or rather the lack of feeling like a terrible person. He was turning to leave when he noticed the closet. He hadn’t thought to check this last night, but what if the child was here the whole time. Unable to stop the hope in his chest, he opened it to find just his trunk and clothes hanging up.

 Severus frowned as he looked at the clothes in the closet, though rags could be used to describe them. Why the boy had these hanging up was anybody’s guess, they were much too big for the scrawny teen. Severus looked at them in disgust planning on getting some clothes for the boy as soon as possible. They could even go today, surely Harry would love a trip to Diagon…Oh, they couldn’t do that; Harry was still missing. Severus sighed before looking up at the ceiling.

“Harry, I’m so sorry.” Severus said quietly, his voice thick with remorse echoed softly in the empty room. He closed the closet and made his way out of the room.

Harry, who had been alternating between trying not to breathe and breathing quietly when he heard Snape come into his room, was in shock. He could hear what he thought might have been hurt in the man’s voice. Was Snape really sorry or was it a ploy? Harry couldn’t believe it was a ploy, for he knew that his Professor was a proud man, and he wouldn’t apologize unless it was warranted, and even then it was rare.

He stayed where he was for a few minutes more before gingerly stepping over his trunk and opening the door. The man having just been here a few minutes prior was now gone, and Harry didn’t know where to look. He made his way out of his room, feeling exposed before walking noiselessly down the steps. He strained his ears for any noises that could mean his Professor was near him.

As he reached the bottom of the steps he suddenly froze, as the man was standing a few feet away from him. He could see for once that the emotionless face was expressive for once. He could see shock, relief, but before that he saw fear and desperation. Why would Snape be afraid? Was he afraid of Harry or for him?

“Harry,” Severus said softly, unsure if this was real or not. He had a few calls last night where he could swear he had seen the boy, but every time he got closer it never was.

“Yes sir?” Harry whispered, his heart hammering loudly in his chest.

Severus took a step forward and froze himself when he saw the boy flinch back and take a step back in return. His fear returned, was Harry afraid of him now? Would he have to tell Albus that he couldn’t take care of the child because he was now in the league with Black and his Uncle?

“I wasn’t going to hurt you; I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Severus explained softly.

“I know sir,” Harry replied just as quiet, why had the man’s fear returned. This was confusing the heck out of him. It was reflex to flinch back, better be safe then sorry.

“Where were you?” Severus asked, not moving from his spot.

“My room, in the closet,” Harry replied.

“I didn’t see you when I looked,” Severus answered.

“But I saw you, why were you looking for me?” Harry asked curiously.

“I thought you might have been hurt, I didn’t mean to take my frustration out on you child.” Severus said.

“Then why did you?” Harry said remembering the pain.

“I was confused,” Severus said softly, not sure at all why he was admitting this. A part of him felt like Harry had a right to know, especially since it involved him.

“About what, all I was doing was cleaning,” Harry replied not understanding at all.

“I know you were child, and you did an amazing job. I was confused about my feelings towards you.” Severus confessed.

Harry basked in the praise for a moment, a small smile gracing his lips. That had been what he had wanted yesterday, but he would take it today as well. He looked at the man strangely as he registered the rest of his sentence.

“I don’t understand sir,” Harry replied softly.

“I was fighting the protectiveness I was feeling for you. I’ve never felt it before and I didn’t know how to deal with it.” Severus replied, never feeling more ashamed then he did at that moment.

“You were scared of wanting to protect me, so you lashed out at me?” Harry asked quietly.

“In a sense yes, I didn’t feel adequate to take care of you. I didn’t mean to hurt you child, I was trying to stay away yesterday because I knew my emotions weren’t the best. When I saw you dirty, I couldn’t help myself.” Severus replied angry with himself, for losing control.

“I understand sir,” Harry replied and he did.

“I never meant to make you feel like that, and I know that you probably don’t want to stay with me anymore and believe me when I say that I will try my hardest to find you someone nice to stay with.” Severus replied, beating himself up on the inside.

“What do you mean sir? Of course I want to stay with you,” Harry asked shocked at the whole suggestion.

“You do? Even after what happened yesterday? Aren’t you afraid of me?” Severus asked shock evident in his own voice as he gazed at the boy, who had moved closer to him of his own accord. Severus had to wonder if he was even aware.

“No sir, I’m not afraid of you.” Harry answered, and he wasn’t, well no more than usual like he was in class; but then again everyone had a small fear of him. Snape hadn’t hit him, he had barely yelled at him. His nerves were fried and why the heck was he feeling like me might cry again.

“Good,” Severus replied, his lips twitched like they wanted to smile.

Harry was staring at the man in shock, before he grinned. Why his teacher felt the need to hold back his own smile was beyond him. He slowly moved closer to the man, where he was close enough to smell the potions on his robes.

He fought with himself as his hands balled into fists on his sides. He really wanted to rush forward and bury himself in the man’s dark robes. The feeling that nothing could get him while he was in those arms, that he was safe and no one could touch him was addicting to him; having never had it when he was growing up.

Severus stared at the boy curiously, he could see the balled fists, and the fierce expression on his face. He knew that the boy was fighting himself, for what he didn’t really know. Hadn’t they just declared everything all well and done?

“Harry child, are you alright?” Severus asked gently.

Harry nodded that he was but he couldn’t stop thinking about what if he reached to hug the man. Would Snape pushed him away and glare at him? He stayed where he was, his eyes slowly filling with tears, he was so stupid. He didn’t even know how to ask to be comforted, what kind of person didn’t know that? Were you supposed to ask for a hug, how did that work? He sighed once before turning his gaze to the ground.

Severus had seen the shiny eyes, what in the world was the matter with the boy now? Was he hurt, and Severus hadn’t noticed a thing?

“Are you hurt at all?” Severus asked.

Harry nodded automatically, he wasn’t hurt physically but this pain was just as important. His heart hurt and he was in so much pain, that crying seemed the only way to make it go away for a little while before it returned. He was sick of crying, of feeling alone, he was sick of everything.

“Where are you hurt child?”Severus asked already accioing a few potions.

“My heart hurts,” Harry replied honestly before looking up as his tears started to fall from his eyes.

Severus stopped what he was doing which caused a few vials to fall to the floor but he didn’t care as he looked the boy in front of him.

“What kind of pain is it Harry?” Severus asked quietly, knowing no potion could fix the emotional trauma, this was the hardest part.

“I feel like I can never be happy again, like every time I try, something makes me sad. It’s like it’s ripping apart, like I have no one and that I’m all alone. I don’t want to be alone,” Harry said hiccupping on a sob that tried to make its way out.

“You are not alone Harry, you have the Weasleys and Albus and Lupin who all care for you.” Severus said softly.

“Do I have you?” Harry asked when he didn’t hear the man name himself.

“If you want, then yes you have me,” Severus replied before reaching out for the boy.

“I want,” Harry said before launching himself into the man’s chest and sobbing.

As Severus held Harry in his arms, he wondered if this was normal for the boy to be constantly crying. He knew that the boy had been through an ordeal but it seemed like something else was there, and that the tears were just a reprieve for whatever it was. 

When Harry had described his inner pain, it sounded like the child was depressed. Deciding to think on it he lifted the boy in his arms before walking into the sitting room and headed for the couch to wait out Harry’s tears.