About a half hour later, Severus looked down to find the child nearly in his lap and sleeping. He carefully extracted himself from him, and stretched. He didn’t want to bring Harry to Hogwarts even more so after that talk. He would somehow find a way to grant Harry that Christmas wish but at the moment he had things he needed to take care of. He grabbed the floo powder before shaking his head and walking to his study. There he flooed the Burrow and after a moment, Ronald landed next to him.

“Good morning Professor, where’s Harry?” Ron asked curiously.

“He’s sleeping, I have to go to Hogwarts to talk to the Headmaster, he is not to follow me,” Severus said sternly giving the boy a look.

“I understand sir,” Ron replied quickly.

 “My rules are the same as last time. I would rather you not wake him up as he had a rather emotional talk this morning,” Severus explained.

"Yes sir, have you guys talked to about him being a depressed?” Ron asked seriously.

“I don’t think he is actually,” Severus said thoughtfully. He didn’t want to think on that if he was being honest with himself. Harry was so like Lily in that way, full of life. Yesterday just had to be a fluke, never mind the fact that he was expressing things from his childhood, that still had an impact on him now.

“He is; you just don’t live with him during the school year. This is the first I’ve seen him really smile all year, and after the talk yesterday I worry about him doing something foolish,” Ron said firmly.

“I understand, I will discuss it with him when I get home.” Severus finally said, unable to let the boy’s concerns for Harry go.

“Alright, I’ll see you later sir,” Ron replied moving out the way.

Severus nodded before he disappeared in the flames, landing in Albus’s office. He found himself scowling at the man who was sitting at his desk calmly drinking his tea.

“I was waiting for you Severus and I would like to say something before you start. I’m so very sorry to have upset him yesterday. Sharing the news was poor judgment on my part,” Albus said quickly before the man could say anything.

“Why would you say it then? Did you honestly think he would want to hear something like that especially since they found out those muggles are living here in Hogwarts?” Severus raged out.

“They found them? How could they?” Albus asked in shock.

“Harry has in his possession a map of sorts, I’m not sure what it does however,” Severus replied thoughtfully.

“Oh I know what you’re talking about,” Albus replied with a sigh, remembering Remus mentioning the Marauders Map once or twice. “I didn’t mean to distress him,”

“But you did Albus. The child thinks you brought them here to punish him, as if he didn’t have to suffer enough. He was so hurt yesterday that he started revealing things about himself that worries me greatly,” Severus admitted as he finally took a seat. The fight was leaving him as he prepared to tell the man just what Harry had revealed yesterday.

“What worries you so Severus?” Albus asked.

“Harry has had self destructive thoughts since he was 5 years old, how could we not know about his abuse?” Severus said, the last part directed at himself as well.

Albus didn’t bother answering as he was going through the same questioning of himself. Everyone prided him on being all knowing and yet how could something this big slip through the cracks. A child had to suffer all his life in an abusive situation and when they were finally able to get him its almost too late.

He knew Harry had a good heart and he was hoping that it would make it easier to heal. How many more children had they missed? He could think of a few off the top of his head. Severus and Tom Riddle and he knew how the latter had come out.

“He’s decided to use a pensive for the trial before you ask,” Severus said quietly.

“I didn’t have time to suggest that yesterday, he was looking at me as if he was afraid of me,” Albus replied with a frown.

“That’s because he probably was,” Severus replied matter factly.

“But I have never done anything to harm the boy intentionally,” Albus said, horrified at the thought of Harry being afraid of him.

“I know but he is wary of any adult male. After his Uncle and now the mutt, it’s not really surprising when you think about it,” Severus said finally, remembering a muggle psychology book on child abuse. “He has his moments where he is afraid of me as well, but the fact that he associates the feeling of being safe with me, it cancels out.”

Albus shook his head. “My poor boys,” he murmured.

“I’m fine Albus, its Harry who isn’t,” Severus replied quietly.

“Are you really fine Severus? How is this affecting you? I knew you would be the best choice to take care of him but I never truly asked you if you would,” Albus said finally. He wasn’t blind; he chose to see the best in people. He knew Severus could help Harry if he truly wanted to but he didn’t want the man to feel forced to do it.

“The only way this is affecting me is that I cannot provide him with the one thing he truly wants and needs,” Severus said regretfully.

“And what does he want?” Albus asked curiously.

“What every abused child wants, love and the security that comes with it. I can only give him so much, but I cannot grant him the peace of mind of having a home. It’s not in my power to do so,” he said his voice thick with guilt as he got up again and started pacing once more.

Albus watched the man in front of his thoughtfully, vowing to find a way to keep his boys together. He knew sorrowfully that it wouldn’t be possible until Voldemort was dead. He sighed if only wishes were that simple. He knew in his heart that he would give up his magic in a heartbeat to provide Harry and Severus the comfort they so desperately needed and the love the found in each other. He nodded his head, he would find a way. He wouldn’t say anything for the time being however not wanting to get either of their hopes up.

“While I’m here Albus I need to grab something from my lab,” Severus said finally, when the silence threatened to overwhelm him. He hated feeling so helpless, and since he was here he realized that he could take care of another problem he needed to do. That toad woman was next on his agenda.

“Of course Severus,” Albus said easily. “Will you be joining us for lunch?” He asked curiously.

“I think I will,” Severus replied before nodding his goodbye before walking out the man’s office.

He reminded himself to ask Albus about that map he seemed to know what Harry was using. As he was walking towards the dungeons he stopped, wondering idly if Delores was here. He needed to burn off some steam that the previous conversation had provided for him. Not to mention he needed to get that woman back for what she did to Harry.

Nobody was allowed to hurt Lily’s child and how dare she think she had the right to. He quickened his steps glad that he had decided to stay for lunch knowing she would be there if she was nowhere else. He made his way to his lab, pulling out the potions he needed.

He had no intention of killing the woman but she was definitely going to pay. He grabbed a couple of vials with glee, a laxative, a diuretic, among other untraceable barely legal ones. He idly wondered if she would be missed as he had needed to try out that liquid cruciatus on someone.

He grinned so evilly in that moment that if someone had seen him they would have seen the side of him that sent most death eaters running for the hills, not to mention the students. Severus found himself enjoying the thoughts of making her suffer, knowing she would bear the same scars she made the children carry.

That wonderful blood quill he was surely using on her. If the situation hadn’t been so serious he would have felt a bit guilty at feeling happiness at hurting her. But as he said nobody was allowed to hurt Lily’s child and soon to be his boy.

 ~*~*~*~*Snape Manor~*~*~*

on was sitting on the floor near the Christmas tree, idly wondering if Harry had wrapped Snape’s gift yet. He was unsure of what to give Harry this year, usually he would give him a poster and always Bertie Botts but this year didn’t seem to feel right. He looked at the small cluster of presents hoping Harry got a bit more. 

He knew you couldn’t buy love but just for Harry he wanted him to get everything he wanted. Even if he got nothing, he shook his head as he watched his sleeping mate on the couch. This was so wrong, everything was so messed up. It was not supposed to be this way. He had always been jealous of Harry, last year had shown that. He still couldn’t believe how childish he acted; of course Harry hated the attention. He didn’t even give him time to explain it before he had jumped to conclusions.

Not to mention what he went through, he knew he didn’t want that. His poor mate, was it too much to ask for fate to give him a break? Why did Harry’s life always have to have a sacrifice when it came to his happiness? He knew life wasn’t fair but this was ridiculous. He sighed softly as he sat there hoping Snape would be able to fix his mate. Harry wasn’t even close to being healed, but every time he seen him since he’s been with Snape he’d seen a little bit more of that kid he had first seen when he was 11 years old.

~*~*~*~Grimmauld Place~*~*~*~*~

Sirius was sitting at the table, getting ready to go with Remus to his session with his healer. He didn’t like it in the slightest, the man wanted to know everything about him. He couldn’t tell him everything obviously and the man seemed to understand that. He shook his head, not sure if this was going to work but wasn’t about to say that to Remus as he wanted to see Harry again.

“Finish your food Siri and we’ll go,” Remus instructed him.

“I am,” he replied quietly feeling quite like a child. “When will I be able to see Harry?”

“Whenever Healer Braden says you can,” Remus said carefully.

He knew that wasn’t going to be anytime soon. This was only Sirius’s second session and after that report he got yesterday he was far from being healed. Today they were going to go over just why Sirius seemed to get the reaction he got when it came to punishing Harry. Remus was sure it stemmed from something he had grown up with but he wasn’t about to go in it now.

The healer had needed to sedate Sirius yesterday as he had completely freaked out over a question that had to do with Harry and Severus. Of course as a Healer Braden was unable to reveal anything due to the oath he took, but even so they had been careful with names. As the man had gone to Hogwarts as a child he had been able to deduce what Severus they were talking about as that wasn’t a very common name. Remus sighed, as he stood up, Sirius was only playing with his food now.

“Quit stalling, let’s go or we’ll be late,” Remus said accioing their cloaks.

Sirius grumbled but he stood up, and let Moony apply the glamour to his face.

“Come on,” Remus replied walking into the backyard. Grabbing hold of Sirius’s arm they dissapparated once more with a quiet pop.

As they landed in front of St. Mungo’s, Remus ushered them inside giving his name at the front desk before going up to the floor that dealt with magical trauma to the brain. It was a specialty floor, and they rode the elevator there quietly. He left Sirius to his thoughts as they walked out and told the receptionist that Sam was here and ready for his appointment. They didn’t even have a chance to take a seat when Braden walked out of his office.

“Hello again Remus, how are you and Sam doing today?” Healer Braden asked cheerfully.

“I’m fine, Sam is a bit worried about today’s appointment,” Remus replied ignoring the glare Sirius was now giving him.

“It’s natural for him to be worried, but nothing is going to happen. We are all going to try to stay calm today, aren’t we Sam?” Braden said looking at Sirius.

“Yes,” he said sullenly, he hadn’t liked being sedated yesterday so he was hoping he would stay calm this time.

He just couldn’t stand the fact that Severus had control of his godson right now. He curled his lips angrily as he thought of Harry choosing that snake over him. Didn’t his godson know what kind of man Snape was? Why would he choose that Slytherin over him in the first place?

“Stop those thoughts Sam, they won’t help you,” Braden said sternly.

Remus stood back letting the healer take over as they moved from the lobby into the man’s office. He stayed back in the chair he was in yesterday, where he was just an observer, or in case he was needed.

Sirius glared at the man silently but didn’t bother arguing at the man had proven he would win every time. He had never met anyone as stubborn as himself except Lily and maybe Harry, but Braden took the cake. He shook those thoughts away as he took a seat across from the man, hating Remus more than ever for making him do this.

“Remus can you come over here please,” Braden requested as he got out the paperwork.

“What do you need me for?” Remus asked curiously as he scooted his chair near them to make a triangle.

“I need you because this conversation might be a bit triggering so to speak,” Braden explained gently.

“Oh I understand now,” Remus murmured as he waited.

Braden nodded as he got out his notepad, and pen. He found it easier to use them when the patient started talking faster; as it was easier to write with. Not to mention the print came out a lot neater, especially when he hurriedly trying to get it all down. He knew he could use the easy quill but he had seen the way the two men had looked at it during their first session and he had seen something wild in Sam’s eyes so he figured it would be best if the dicta-quill was away this time.

“Ok so I’m a half-blood as I said what about you Sam?” He asked conversationally.

“Pureblood,” Sirius replied quietly.

“Is it an old an ancient house?” He asked curiously having a feeling it was.

“Yes,” Sirius sighed.

“So I take it, your family had different methods for disciplining their children, correct?” Braden said.

“Yes, each family was different, but my family prided themselves on obedient, righteous, purebloods. There’s a reason why the majority of us seem to be a bit mad,” Sirius replied matter factly.

“Oh and how was your relationship with your parents?” Braden asked.

“My dad he loved me I think, my mum did until she found out I didn’t want to be dark,” Sirius said his eyes closing from the painful memories.

“So she expressed her displeasure towards you frequently?” Braden asked, knowing he was getting somewhere.

“She did, and still does,” Sirius said with a pained frown. “Can we not talk about her?”

“For now, we can move on as I’m getting to know how your family was. But we will be coming back to your mum,” Braden promised him.

Sirius sighed but nodded that he understood that.

“Alright, growing up did you have any siblings?” He asked continuing his questions.

“Yeah I had a younger brother,” Sirius said with a sigh.

“How many years apart were you both?” He asked absently as he wrote the notes down.

“1 year and a half,” Sirius answered.

“And was he treated the same as you?” Braden asked kindly.

“No when we went off to Hogwarts I went into Gryffindor and was a disappointment. He however was sorted in Slytherin and became the perfect son,” Sirius said bitterly as he remembered how family had treated him after that.

“Where is he?” Braden asked curiously.

“He died when he was 18,” Sirius said with a frown, turning to look anyone but at the other men in the room.

“Oh what happened to him?” Braden asked gently.

“That is inconsequential to this conversation,” Sirius said stiffly.

Since they were diving into his childhood, he was remembering the part of his younger brother he loved. Ignoring his mother and all her madness he enjoyed his childhood. His brother Regulus had annoyingly followed him around on the bases that he wanted to be just like Sirius.

He missed that more than anything, as they got older Regulus turned towards the dark side. He resented him after a period time but he had never forgotten his first best friend and brother. Sirius shook his head before standing up and walking towards the window, trying to regain control of his emotions.

Braden nodded and wrote down something on his notepad, another subject he would have to talk about on another day. He sighed, allowing Sam the time to gather his emotions as he looked at Remus who was also checking on the man.

“We’ll take a break, when we come back we’ll talk about the how good behavior was rewarded and make our way to punishments,” Braden said as he stood up and walked out the room.

Sirius turned from the window when the door closed and swallowed thickly. “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he said finally.

“I know it’s hard, but you have to do it,” Remus said quietly.

“It hurts,” Sirius said blinking his eyes rapidly to prevent the sudden onslaught of tears from the grief he felt.

He hadn’t thought about his brother in so long, especially without the bitterness. It had been a while since he had remembered the little boy who he had grown up with, the one who loved him for him when it all mattered. Granted that changed when they went to Hogwarts but for 10 years Sirius didn’t feel so alone in his family.

Hogwarts had changed all that when the Marauders’ were formed, and now James was dead and his child wanted nothing to do with him.

“I know it does, but it’ll be over soon,” Remus murmured, feeling a bit helpless as he didn’t know what to say to help him.

Sirius didn’t say anything, dropping into his chair with a sigh. He covered his face with his hands, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears where they were. He could do this; he needed to get better for Harry. He knew that this was only the beginning, and that it was going to get much worse before it even got remotely better.

~*~*~*Snape Manor~*~*~*~

Ron had gotten a bit bored after the first hour and had gone into Harry’s room and found a few Quidditch books and brought them back downstairs. At the moment he was reading one of them. He glanced at the clock on the wall, it had been 2 hours since he had come and Harry was still asleep. He wasn’t about to wake up his mate though as the boy obviously needed the sleep.

He turned back to his book, figuring if Harry didn’t wake up by the time lunch came he would do it. He knew that though Snape wanted Harry to sleep, he didn’t want him to miss any meals. As Ron turned the page he looked up as the floo flared and his Professor came out of it, rushing pass him without a sound. He frowned, but turned back to his reading. He wasn’t about to ask the man what he was doing as it was his house. He read a few pages when the man walked back into the room, pocketing a vial.

“Professor Snape, are you back?” Ron asked curiously as he put his book down to stand up.

“No, I’m having lunch at Hogwarts. I need to deal with Delores,” he said quietly as he moved over to check on Harry. He reached out and gently ran a hand through the child’s hair.

“Oh,” Ron said his scarred hand unconsciously going behind his body to hide it.

“Yes I will take care of her, she will not be getting away with this,” Severus said with a steely glint in his eye. He had seen the move and he reminded himself to give the child some Essence of Murlap when he got back.

“Just don’t do something st--not smart,” Ron said barely able to catch himself from saying the word stupid. He didn’t think it would go over well with the man even if he did look a bit scary at the moment. Ron was glad in that moment that the man was not angry with him.

“I won’t, take care of Harry,” Severus said as he grabbed the floo powder and disappeared in the flames.

“I will,” Ron murmured softly as he retook his seat. He looked over when he heard Harry call out for Snape before his mate turned on his stomach still sleeping. Ron shook his head in amusement before turning back to his book.

~*~*~*~Hogwarts~*~*~*~*

Minerva had been almost giddy with excitement like a school girl when she had gone into Albus’s office. The headmaster had tried to keep it to himself but Phineas had told her that Severus was here at Hogwarts today. She grinned and had nearly run out the office, intent on flooing Pomona and Filius immediately. She had told them already and as it neared lunch she couldn’t wait to see who was going to strike first. She figured Severus would be the first one considering how tasteless he could make his potions.

She had tweaked her spell to turn the woman into a toad with her full knowledge of herself. But seeing as she wouldn’t abuse an animal even a transfigured one, she would use the stone one and toss it around a few times. As the woman would be a stone and harder to break Minerva didn’t have to worry about her dying. Albus would never forgive her if she accidently killed the witch, not to mention Severus and he could hold a grudge forever. Minerva headed to the great hall, a bit surprised to find herself a bit early, but she took her seat nonetheless.

Not too long after she arrived Pomona arrived with a small potted plant of Devil’s snare in her hands. She didn’t say anything to Minerva just yet but Pomona felt the other’s witch’s eyes on her as she casually set the plant underneath Delores’s chair and dillusioned it before taking her own.

“Hello Minerva,” she said cheerfully as if nothing had happened.

Minerva was grinning a cat-like grin so she had to turn her head, least she give them away if someone else were to come in. “Hello Pomona,” she said her grin toned down a bit but still there none the less.

“That’s to keep to her from running away as I know Severus has something planned for her,” Pomona said a bit to bubbly before breaking out into laughter with Minerva.

“We need to tone it down we sound guilty and we haven’t done anything yet,” Minnie said as she tried to control her laughter.

“I know, I don’t know how Severus does it all the time,” Pomona giggled before stilling as they heard someone walk through the teacher’s entrance.

“It’s just me,” Filius said with a smirk. “Now might I ask what is so funny?” He said with a smile, obviously in a better mood he had been all year.

“Oh nothing but Pomona has set her trap, so be careful of Delores chair,” Minerva replied proudly.

“Good that will distract her from my spells,” he replied simply.

“And what do you have planned?” Pomona asked curiously.

“Most of them are delayed spells so they won’t hit her until a bit later as you know.” Filius said getting into the happy mood the two women were in.

“But what are they? Tell us,” Minerva insisted.

“Alright, they range from a hair loss spell, to the pink eye curse, gluing her shoes to the ground so she can’t go anywhere, not that I need that one anymore. The baby Devil’s snare is brilliant Pomona,” he said.

“This is going to be good,” Pomona said rubbing her hands together mischievously.

“I wonder what Severus is coming up with,” Filius murmured.

“Well since I can’t harm her, a laxative and a diuretic for starters,” Severus said he came in and took a seat next to Filius. They were firmly on the light side, he however was more grey than anyone here and he knew telling them would do more harm then good.

The Heads of houses soon got to talking about their plan, each one having to laugh at the other in spite of the situation. They couldn’t wait to see everything pan out. By the time everyone had arrived for lunch, you could feel their obvious excitement in the air.

Albus pretended not to know what was going on as he placed his small portrait of Phineas on the table. The former headmaster had refused to be left behind, and he could see a couple of other former heads trying to make their way into the frame as well.

He could tell right off that back that Phineas wasn’t the only one with that idea. There were a few ghosts he could feel in the room, but they weren’t revealing themselves. Apparently the woman had a lot to pay for and everyone wanted to be a part of it.

“What’s everyone so happy about?” Hooch asked curiously.

“Just a toad about to get their dues paid,” Minerva said with a smirk that had Severus feeling a bit proud.

They all kept glancing at the door and they didn’t have to wait long for the woman in pink to come through the doors. It was obvious to the rest of the teachers that something was going to happen to her, but what they didn’t know.

“Hello Delores,” Severus said conversationally before taking a bite of food as if it was any other day.

“Good day S-Severus,” Delores squeaked. She was afraid of that man more than any other person here except for Albus. She knew about his past and she also knew he made it blatantly clear when he didn’t like someone. She was mentally thinking if she had used a blood quill on any of the Slytherins, but was unable to remember.

Maybe she had used it on one or two of them to put them in their place. She swallowed in fright regretting those hasty actions before taking a seat. The minute she sat down she jumped in fear as something clamped on her legs tightly.

As she checked down she didn’t see anything but she knew something was there. She didn’t want to draw her wand at this table as she knew any of them could take it as a threat and she would get cursed back. And with the way Minerva was looking at her she knew the woman would be the first to hit her mark.

“Is there a problem dear?” Pomona asked sweetly, barely keeping her giggles in place.

“No none at all,” Delores replied quickly turning to her food.

Minerva was watching Filius slyly point his want at Umbridge and start incanting. She knew most of them were timed spells, but the hair lost spell was set to work as soon as she finished eating. They turned away from her, not wanting to draw attention; they talked among themselves, watching her eat her food out the corner of their eyes. Minerva couldn’t help looking at Severus who was smirking as if he had a secret.

“When is it supposed to work?” She hissed to him as she pretended to take a drink of her tea.

“Immediately,” he said with a rare grin.

“Both of them start at the same time?” Pomona murmured curiously.

“The diuretic starts tomorrow, and will last for about a week,” Severus explained softly.

“How long will the other one last?” Filius asked, though he didn’t care either way.

“Certain foods will trigger it, before you ask it’s a variety. It will last well as long until I give her the antidote, and yes Minerva its legal,” Severus replied quietly.

“I wasn’t going to ask Severus, I trust you; but thank you for telling me,” she said gratefully as they turned back to their own food.

As soon as Delores finished her last bite of food and picked up her juice she felt like something was off. She turned to look at everyone who was still eating or finishing up like she was but they seemed fine. She knew that the house elves had all served them the same foods, but why anyone else didn’t seemed to feel it was her own guess.

She wasn’t sure what exactly was wrong, at least not until she felt her stomach give a quiet gurgle. She frowned, realizing the food just probably didn’t agree with her. Delores grimaced before starting to stand up, only to remember that whatever was on her feet wouldn’t let go of her legs. She stared horror struck as she turned to look at her peers she could see them looking at her curiously.

Delores grimaced before starting to stand up once more, trying to pull her legs out of it. It alarmed her to realize that whatever it was just held her tighter. What was going on? She stared horror struck as she turned to look at her peers as she could see them looking at her curiously.

“Is there a problem Delores?” Albus asked curiously as he started in on dessert.

He knew his Heads were up to something, he just hadn’t bothered to get the details. He didn’t want to feel guilty so he would play the gullible old fool like the woman constantly thought he was.

“No, just wondering if something was under my chair as I am having trouble getting up,” Delores said casually as if she had no care in the world.

“Hmm, no I don’t see anything,” Albus replied as he bent down to look before grabbing a tart from the table.

Delores frowned as her stomach bubbled, like that nasty potion she had seen the Longbottom boy brew on the last day of classes before the holidays. She grimaced as she found herself looking towards Snape. She gasped silently when he turned his dark gaze on her suddenly. But what scared her is that she felt in that moment as if he really wanted to kill her. She felt like she was looking into some soulless black eyes. Her insides chilled as she found herself trapped in the man’s gaze unable to turn away.

Severus quickly turned away from the woman, least his thoughts give him away. He could barely stand eating at the table with her, when he knew the things that she had done. Had they been anywhere but at Hogwarts he would have brought her to the Dark Lord. While the Dark Lord hated half breeds, he disliked anyone hurting the pureblooded children. He had in it his head that he could turn them firmly to his side, so why waste good blood?

The Weasleys were known as blood traitors, but they were still pure. He shook the thoughts away of her destruction, making himself think of other things. And he found himself idly wondering how the boys were doing at home hoping Ronald would wake Harry up to eat. The boy could not afford to miss a meal, not when he had been denied so many growing up.

Delores struggled in chair, unable to get up from the chair. Unbeknownst to her the plant had attached itself to her and the chair, causing her to literally be tied to the chair. As it was only a baby Devil’s snare it wasn’t able to kill one by squeezing you to death, but it could keep you still. So while she was safe from death from the plant, she was stuck unless someone helped her out.

Everyone watched her as she struggled, her face turning red from trying to get free and her obvious need, which they were starting to piece together if they didn’t already know. She stilled as he stomach angrily made itself knowing, nearly keeling over in her chair. Delores ran a hand agitatedly through her hair and when she pulled it back she was horrified to see that a clump of her hair was in her hand. Running another hand through it proved exactly what she was dreading was the truth; her hair was falling out.

She couldn’t help it, she screamed loudly. The laughter from those around her reminding her that no this wasn’t a dream, and yes this was really happening as she felt the laxative starting to work. As she was trapped in her chair she could nothing else but sit there. Her hair continued to fall, as she completely humiliated herself, and finally disgraced herself in her chair in the great hall.