This World of Glass by Whitetail
Summary: Third in the series Days We Learn From. In a darkening world where the war looms ahead, things couldn’t be more wrong. A new hand has been dealt out, and now Severus isn’t well, and this he knows. But what is it that is causing the fainting spells, and how long can he keep this a secret from his two adopted sons, Harry and Draco? More importantly, with the Dark Lord still furious over the discovery of Severus as a spy, how long can the little family continue to escape his clutches?
Categories: Misc > All written in Snape's POV, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Draco, Original Character
Snape Flavour: Snape is Loving
Genres: Family, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Takes Place: 6th Year
Warnings: Character Death, Romance/Het, Violence
Challenges: None
Series: Days We Learn From
Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes Word count: 82971 Read: 92774 Published: 04 Dec 2011 Updated: 19 Apr 2012
A Talk With Albus by Whitetail

The cough would not go away. For the past few days it had been getting worse; no potion I tried worked. It was getting harder to hide from people. Lately I had had to duck into empty classrooms or something similar to prevent my rasping coughs from being heard.  So, not for the first time in days gone by, I sat with my back resting against the wall, my legs too weak, and head swimming too badly to stay standing. My chest heaved and my throat burned. The empty desks stared at me as I coughed into my handkerchief, as if to ask why there were spots of blood on it. That was what was worrying me the most; I could deal with the dizziness and fainting spells (I had only fainted once since the first time, and luckily nobody witnessed it but Munkastrap, who had come for a brief visit, and I awoke to find him sitting on the floor beside where I was laying). What I could not deal with, was the fact that I was coughing up blood. That is not normal at all, under any circumstances. I could not even explain away the new symptom by low blood pressure or exhaustion, like I could with the fainting.

     What was I supposed to do though, march right into St. Mungos? I would rather have taken the chance that whatever was ailing me was going to kill me, rather than be dragged back to the Dark Lord to be tortured and then killed for being a traitorous wretch. I didn't want to go to Poppy either. Besides, she specialized in more mild illnesses. She did not know a great deal about illnesses that make you faint, wheeze, cough up blood, have trouble standing (Or does that sort of fall under fainting?) and make you tremble head to toe like a first year. I needed to see Albus about this. That was what I really needed to do, because if anyone could find me a healer who knew what they were doing and was not ready to throw me to the Dark Lord, he could. And, to tell the truth I was a little bit frightened, and Albus would be able to understand that.

     I couldn't stand the emptiness of the room any longer, so I stood up on shaky legs and pocketed my spotted handkerchief. Carefully I left the room, and started on my way up to the Headmaster's office. It took me longer than usual to get there, for I had to stop and rest once or twice, taking advantage of empty corridors and spaces behind tapestries.

     It felt like an eternity had passed when I finally got there, and even though I had been so determined to get to this destination, I suddenly wished to turn right around and go back to my quarters to wait for dinner time. Why was I unable to get my tongue to speak the password? It was not hard to figure out however, my reason for not wanting to enter just yet. Inside I knew that once I had told Albus of this, once I had said something about it, I would be acknowledging the fact that there was a problem. I felt it would be so much easier to ignore this. I often ignored illness, and luckily for me all illnesses I had had went away fairly quickly, especially when Pepper-Up potion was applied. I never took days off (however much I hated teaching some of those little cretins) and I never went to the hospital wing. That was my nature. Now I was to defy that, and knowingly talk to someone whom I absolutely knew would make sure I went to a healer. I fought to put aside the fear that I would end up having to stay in a hospital for a while, for hospitals always brought back bad memories of the day my mother died.

       I gave a short, spluttering cough and then I made up my mind.

     "Chocolate Frogs," I said, sounding slightly out of breath. Not that that wasn't the norm these days. 

      I felt so positively green after going up the horrendous spiralling staircase that I was worried Albus would throw a bucket of water on me and I would melt. Normally the staircase did not bother me so much, but with the world already spinning when I was standing still, it made things quite a lot worse.

     "Severus, are you alright?" was the first thing Dumbledore said to me when I entered the office upon his command.

     "Yes," I said automatically as I swallowed thickly. I sighed inwardly and forced myself to tell the truth. "No, actually. No I am not, which is precisely why I have come to see you."

      "Take a seat my boy," he said, gesturing to the empty chair that always occupied the space in front of his desk. "What is it that is troubling you?"

     Let me see, how shall I phrase this? I'm coughing up blood, and it sure as hell feels like I'll cough up my kidneys as well ... I seriously think I might just be dying and that spiral staircase almost made me S-P-E-W something besides house-elf rights all over your nice office.

      "My health appears to be declining," I said. Simple and vague, but still Albus looked alarmed. Yes, it was a good thing I did not say what I had wanted to.

      "How so?" he said. "Does this have anything to do with the fainting episode you had a few weeks ago? Minerva was quite concerned ..."

       "It does, I'm afraid," I said, examining the finely carved edges of his desk.

      "Have you fainted since then?"

      "Just once, though nobody was around but my cat," I said. "He was pretty pissed at me actually, as I was late giving him supper." Albus ignored my language. I thought perhaps he could tell I was simply distracting myself with talk of my cat.

      "Are you sure the cause isn't minor?" he asked me, blue eyes scanning me intently.

       "Albus ..." I muttered, gripping the chair arms tightly, looking this way and that as though someone could overhear, "I'm coughing up blood."

       He appeared not to be surprised, but I could see the look in his eyes. He was worried by my statement, but he was waiting for me to say more. How was it he could always tell when I was only saying part of a story?

     "Everything feels like it's spinning," I told him softly. "When I stand up, or even when I'm walking sometimes the earth feels like it's rocking beneath me. I can't breathe, it feels ... horrible. It ... it makes me think of when the Dark Lord buried me in that coffin, and it was so dark it felt like I couldn't breathe. That can't be normal, can it be, Albus?"

          He was silent for a few moments, before saying, "No, that is not normal."

     "I think I need to go see a Healer, none of my potions are working." I leaned forward in my chair slightly. "Do you know anyone who we could trust?"

     "Yes," Albus said. I thought he understood how grave it was if I was asking to seek medical attention. "Have you gone to see Poppy?"

     "No," I said.

     "That is just as well. This appears to be more serious than what she usually deals with."

     I nodded.

     "I'm sure you will be fine Severus," said Albus, still examining me. "I shall give a good friend a call tonight; he's an excellent Healer. I'll send you a note to inform you of when he can see you. I assure you I will try to get you in as soon as possible."

     "Thank you Albus," I replied.

     "Do you need any time off? You have more than earned it, over the years."

      I shook my head. I couldn't do that, and I told myself it was because I enjoyed my routine; that I'd be bored if I wasn't working. But quite simply it would be easier to pretend everything was alright if I did not take time.

     "How is Harry doing?" Albus asked me.

     "The prophecy is weighing on his shoulders a great deal," I said, eyebrows furrowed. "He's quieter. I think he feels that he too will become another casualty of the second war, but he hopes against it. We're all hoping really." The twinkle was gone from Albus' eyes, and deep down I wondered if he too felt the only thing that we could do now to save Harry was to prepare him for what lay ahead. That was what pained me most, I think, knowing that I could not save him, that all really could do was make sure he knew I believed in him. There was nothing else to be done.

     "So young, to have such burdens," he muttered to me, and by his tone, just for a second, I wondered if he was talking about someone other than just Harry.

     "What are you teaching him, in those lessons?" I asked for yet another time. This question had been constantly upon my lips, ready to burst forth again since September, when Albus told me he was to teach Harry.

      "It is too dangerous for you to know, Severus. I have told you this before."

      "It's not like the Dark Lord is going to find me and ask me what you're teaching him ..." Albus stared at me pointedly. "Alright, ‘this school has twice as many ears and eyes as it does faces'. I know, you've said it before, you needn't tell me again. I just wish I could help him in this."

     "It is a task he must do without you, I am afraid." He let out a slight sigh, revealing his age lines.

      I gathered that Albus did not wish to discuss this anymore. So I thanked him and got up to leave, though a little bit more slowly than usual so as to avoid dizziness.

      "Do Harry and Draco know?" Albus said after a moment, making me stop at the door. We both knew he was not talking of Harry's lessons.

      "No," I said, swallowing. Albus didn't reply, and I closed the door.

The End.
End Notes:
Hope the jokes lightened it up a little. What do you guys think? I'd love to hear from you all, opinions, suggestions, corrections, whatever!


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