Greif, a noun here which means a deep and poignant distress caused by bereavement, and grief filled the Potter house. It was not so much the children, but Harry who was still grieving two months after Ginny’s death. Some nights, Harry would have dreams of Ginny dying, only to by shaken away by Snape. Harry’s heart was pounding, his face was slick with sweat, his throat raw from screaming, and tears in his eyes. Even though Harry had cried during the dream, he would cry even more with Snape there consoling him. If he wasn’t woken up by a dream, then he would still think that Ginny was there. At night, Harry would not touch Ginny’s side of the bed. Sometimes he would roll over and hit her pillow. Harry would apologize to her, then open his eyes to see that she wasn’t there, causing him to cry.

Days seemed to mush together in a mundane and mind numbing routine. Wake up, shed a few tears, shower, dress, brush teeth, eat breakfast with the kids, get the kids ready for the day, go into the office while the kids played, look over the files that Hermione gave him, cry some more, eat lunch with the kids, play a few games with the kids, eat dinner with the kids, get the kids ready for bed after desert, tell them a bed time story, put them to bed, read a book, talk to Snape about different things, take the broom out in an attempt to clear his mind. Harry would then cry before going to bed, only to start the whole thing over again.

The only deviation from this routine was three times a week, after lunch, Harry would go see a ministry shrink. Harry did not want to see a shrink, but Hermione’s continuous insistence had won out. The first three weeks of meeting were just about Harry’s life. The fourth and fifth week was just focused on Harry’s relationship with Ginny. That fourth week was the only other time that Harry had allowed his kids to see him cry.

Harry had come home after the first meeting during that fourth week, and shut himself up in his room. Snape, who was the only other adult there, took care of Harry’s kids. He didn’t mind it because Harry needed some time to himself and he deserved it. So he went around a played father for a few hours, keeping peace in the house. When the day had ended, Snape knocked on Harry’s door.

“Harry, can I come in?” He asked. There was no answer. “Harry, I am coming into the room.”

Snape opened the door and entered. Harry was sitting on his bed, whit knees tucked up to his chest. In his hands was a picture of him and Ginny. Snape sat carefully in front of Harry and laid a hand on his arm. Harry, surprised by the touch, withdrew his hand and looked at Snape. Harry’s face was wet with tears, but it was the look in Harry’s eyes that caused Snape worry.

Harry’s eyes had a haunted quality about them, which was normal for a child who had been effected more by death at the age of seventeen than most people would in their lives. It worried Snape that it seemed, through Harry’s eyes, that no one was “home.”

“I know Harry.” Snape whispered. “I know.”

It looked like Harry hadn’t heard Snape even though he was looking right at him. Snape wrestled in his mind whether Harry was going to say something, or if Snape was going to have to call a doctor to have Harry check into the hospital. It was then that Harry sprung from his spot and hugged Snape. Snape, knowing that Harry needed comfort, hugged him back without thinking about it and allowed Harry to cry more.

“I know, Harry. I know.” Snape whispered repeatedly into Harry’s ear.

Snape knew what it was like for Harry, but it was only to a certain extent. Would Snape’s grief had been as bad if he had been married to Lily? The answer was yes. For now, Snape had to do the best he could to console Harry. When Harry had finally stopped crying, he pulled away from Snape.

“I’m sorry, Professor.” Harry whispered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“It’s alright, Potter. Why don’t you grab that picture and come into the kitchen with me? I saved some dinner for you and I’m sure that you are hungry.”

Harry sat there for a moment and shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay.” He answered dejectedly as he stood up and grabbed the picture that he had been holding for hours. Neither of the men spoke as they made there way down to the kitchen, where Snape heated up some food for Harry.

“Here you go.” Snape was the first to speak since they had left the bedroom. He placed a plate of food and a glass of water in front of Harry.

“Thank you.” He whispered as he started to eat.

“I made dinner for the kids and got them off to bed.” Snape informed Harry as he sat next to him.

“Did they ask where I was?” Harry questioned after a few moments.

“They did. I told them that you weren’t feeling well, so you went to bed early. They seemed to understand, but they did miss you.”

“I’m sorry about that, Professor.”

“Harry, listen to me.” He waited till Harry looked at him. “You need to stop apologizing. You have every right to grieve for Ginny and that’s what you are doing. It’s even okay to cry in front of your kids. Let your kids see that it is okay to cry, but don’t ever apologize to me for your grief. I know how you are feeling, believe me. If you don’t cry, then you are going to explode. I am surprised that you haven’t cried in front of your kids. I get a little choked up every time that I look at Albus.”

“Why is that?”

“Because he has her eyes. Do you ever remember the first class of mine that you attended?”

“Yes. I believe that you questioned me on things that I didn’t even learn till my fifth year. I told you that I didn’t know and that you should ask Hermione because she knew. You gave over and lectured me about the answers.”
“That’s right. I looked you in the eyes and almost cried in front of you. The moment that I asked people to write down those answer, I went into my storeroom and cried for almost three minutes. I cried because you have Lily’s eyes and now Albus has them as well. I am surprised that you haven’t cried in front of your kids because they all have qualities of Ginny in them.” Snape let the words hand in the air for a moment.

“After my mother died, I found it was easier to keep everything to myself. Your mother had different plans. She got me to open up and talk with her. It took me a long time to open up, but I ended up turning to Lily and Hagrid to talk about my feelings. When your mother died, I turned to Hagrid. I always found that he was very easy to talk to and he listens very well.”

“I don’t know if you know this but Hagrid hasn’t been seen for years. He just disappeared over the summer six years ago.” Harry informed Snape.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Hagrid was a good person. I would normally not tell someone this, but I feel that this situation warrants this.” Snape reached out and grabbed Harry’s arm. “If you need someone to talk to, come find me. I will never tell you to stop thinking of Ginny and I will never tell you to get over her. I’ll just tell you to never forget. I know it hurts now, but it gets better. It just takes time and some help.” Snape said, letting go of Harry’s arm.

Harry ate some more food before stifling a yawn behind his hand. This caused Snape to look up at the clock on the wall.

“Sorry. I’m just really tired.”

“Of course you are. You’ve been crying for at least seven of eight hours and it’s one in the morning. Anyone would be tired after that. Take this.” Snape ordered as he pushed a vial into Harry’s hand. “Go to bed and take this before you lie down. You need a good night sleep. Believe me, it helps.”

Harry stared at the vial a few moments before standing up.

“Thank you, Severus.”

“You’re welcome, Harry. Now go to bed and get some sleep.”

“Yes, sir. Good night.” He called as he left the room.

“Good night.” Snape responded.

The door to Harry’s room shut and Snape was still sitting in the kitchen. After letting out a huge sigh, Snape looked up at the ceiling.

“Are you watching this, Lily?” Snape questioned. “This was me after you died. I at least had someone to talk to who knew you. Harry has no one because I know that he won’t talk to her family about it. What did I get myself into?”

Snape shook his head before standing up and turning of the kitchen lights.