It took time but eventually Harry opened up to Snape and that became the theme of their nightly talks. Snape could see an improvement in Harry’s coping abilities because of these talks. Harry didn’t cry as much when he talked about Ginny, but Snape knew that I wouldn’t take much to cause Harry to go back to his previous state of grief.

By now, it had been two months since Ginny’s funeral and Harry had a rare afternoon to himself. The kids were with Ron and Hermione for the weekend and Snape had gone to his shop in Diagon Alley. The house was silent and Harry was about to take his broom out when there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” Harry questioned as he approached the door.

“It’s me, Harry.” Ron called.

Harry opened the door to see Ron standing on the porch. Something was not right about Ron and it showed on his face. Ron looked sad, but his eyes fought to hide an angry fire that was burning inside. Harry realized that something was wrong, but he realized too late. A fist came out of nowhere and connected with Harry’s jaw. He went sprawling to the floor, taken by surprise that his friend and brother-in-law had just punched him.

Harry heard the door shut as he pushed himself into a standing position. He staggered for a moment, which gave Ron a window. Ron took another swing at Harry, whose jaw could be heard cracking from the force of the blow. Harry staggered again, dropping to one knee, but not falling completely to the floor. As Harry was kneeling, he rubbed his jaw.

“Get up, Harry.” Ron ordered, his wand pointed at Harry’s chest.

“If you’re going to kill me, Ron.” Harry began, only stopping to spit blood out of his mouth. “Then I think I deserve to know why.”

“I’m all alone now.” Ron said.

“What do you mean?” Harry questioned, fearing that Hermione was dead.

“I’m the only child left. All of my siblings are gone.” Ron informed Harry.

Harry gave a sigh of relief in his mind, for Hermione was not dead. What Ron was saying began to make Harry think. Was Ron really the only Weasley child left? Bill and Charlie died a few years ago, both around the same time. Fred had died during the final battle. Percy had died a few days before Ginny, and George had been admitted to St.Mungo’s mental ward because he claimed to be his dead twin. Ron was right, he was the only one left.

“See, you know that I am all alone. My sister is dead.”

“You don’t think I know that. She was my wife if you forgot. I love her as much as you do.”

“NO YOU DON’T! If you loved her, then she would be here instead of you. You’re the reason that she’s dead.”

“You don’t think I know that?!” Harry shouted, jabbing his forefinger into his chest as he spoke. “I know that I messed up and I know that it’s my fault that she’s dead. Now, I have to live with that the rest of my life. You have no idea what I’m going through because I dream of her death every night. I am forced to relive her death and I know that there is nothing I can do. I regret that I turned around that night, and because of that decision, I’ve forced my children to pay for it. I’ve left them motherless, and their motherless because of me. I have to live with that the rest of my life!”

Harry stood up, tears began to soak his eyes.

“You have no idea what I am going through.” Then he grabbed Ron’s collar, and pulled him close. Their faces were only a few inches from each other and Harry could see Ron’s eyes began to tear as well. “You have no idea.” Harry whispered.

Ron pushed Harry away from him and punched him once more in the head. This was a very powerful blow and it, somehow, managed to connect with Harry’s temple. Harry went sprawling, knocking over a table and everything on it. He hit the ground, facedown and unconscious. Ron stormed out the house, slamming the door shut behind him.

Snape walked in the back door a few hours later.

“I’m back, Harry.” Snape called out.

No one answered, so Snape figured that Harry had been sleeping. He placed his stuff down on the kitchen table. As Snape walked down the hallway, he immediately got an uneasy feeling. He could see pictures scattered on the floor. Snape entered the living room where Harry was laying, unconscious. Instinct took over immediately and with in an instant, Snape was kneeling by Harry’s side. Snape only thought about one thing.

“Oh god, I’m too late.”

That bad feeling that Snape had when he first called Harry had disappeared after Ginny died. Was Snape right in thinking that Harry was in no more danger? Snape rolled Harry over on his back. Blood was running down Harry’s chin, which could not have been a good sign. Could Harry have possibly….. No, Harry would not have ended it. Snape put his face close to Harry’s, in an attempt to feel a breath. Snape gave a huge sigh of relief when he felt Harry’s breathing. It was strong and even. So was Harry’s pulse, which surprised Snape. What caused Harry to fall unconscious, but still have a strong pulse and normal breathing?

Suddenly, Harry’s eyes opened and he began to cough violently, spraying blood and spit into the air. Snape rolled him onto his side as quick as possible, for fear that he could choke. That was when Snape noticed the bruise on Harry’s jaw.

“What the hell happened?” Snape wondered.

He waited until Harry stopped coughing before rolling him onto his back again.

“Can you sit up, Harry?” Snape questioned.

Harry began to push himself into a sitting position, but half way up the world took a violent shift causing Harry to fall back down.

“Never mind, just lay there.”

Harry didn’t listen though. He rolled over and pushed himself onto all fours, slowly. He heard Snape give some type of protest, but Harry didn’t listen. Harry spat blood onto the floor along with some teeth that were knocked loose. Snape flicked his wand, banishing the blood and teeth from the floor as Harry sat against the back of the couch.

“Harry, what happened?” Snape questioned, looking from Harry to the surrounding area.

There was glass everywhere and a table had been knocked over. Harry did not answer Snape, which caused him worry.

“How did you get that bruise on your jaw, Potter?” Snape asked again, wanting to find out why he had found Harry unconscious.

It was then that all the preceding events came to Harry. Ron had been there and he blamed Harry for Ginny’s death. Harry couldn’t keep it inside of himself anymore. He was angry at Ron, at God, and more importantly at himself. That was the other feeling that was competing with the grief that Harry still had over Ginny. Harry was going to explode if he kept it all bottled up. Harry exploded into tears, no longer being able to hold it all together. This puzzled Snape.

Sure, he was glad that Harry was doing something other than sitting their silently. Snape was puzzled by what was causing Harry to cry. Was it pain or from something else? Snape summoned a bag of ice and gently pushed it onto Harry’s jaw. Harry didn’t recoil, like Snape thought he would, but he seemed to almost welcome the feeling.

“Potter, you need to calm down and tell me what happened.”

Snape sat and waited patiently, listening to Harry cry. It took awhile but the sobs began to soften and soon they disappeared all together.

“What happened?” Snape asked once again.

“Everyone blames me and I can’t handle it anymore.”

“What do you mean ‘everyone’?”

“He was so angry, professor. I tried to fight but I couldn’t. He was so angry that he could have killed me. He blames me for it.”

“Who blames you for what.” Snape questioned again.

The back door was thrown open, violently, causing both men to fall silent. Snape stood up, with a finger to his lips which told Harry to stay silent. Snape trained his wand at the hallway as the footsteps grew louder. There was a loud womanly scream as the unknown person entered the living room. Harry saw Snape tense up, then let out a sigh.

“Ms. Granger.” He said lowering his wand. “What on God’s green earth are you doing here?”

“Where’s Harry?” She questioned, not even caring that Snape could have almost killed her.

“I’m here, Hermione.” Harry called out, raising an arm up.

Snape tried to signal Harry to be quiet, but Snape had been too late. Hermione walked over and crouched down next to Harry.

“Harry, are you okay?” She questioned.

“Yeah, I think I’m fine.” Harry answered hesitantly.

“What do you mean, I think?”

“I don’t think you’ll understand, Hermione.”

“Try me.”

Harry let out a long breath before speaking.

“It was just…the look in his eyes…He was so angry.” Harry explained.

“Who are you talking about, Potter?” Snape questioned.

“You don’t know what happened?” Hermione asked wide eyed.

“Of course I don’t know what’s happened.” Snape answered incredulously. “I walked in no more than ten minutes ago and found him unconscious. He was just about to tell me what happened, when you ran through the door almost causing me to blast you to hell and back.”

Silence fell between the three of them and the only sound that could be heard was Snape’s heavy breathing.

“Ron walked into the house and we argued.” Harry began. “Well it was more like he argued with me. He punched me twice and I asked him what was wrong. He said that he was all alone now and that It was my fault that his sister died. I told you ‘you don’t think I know that. I loved her just as much as you do.’ He said that I didn’t because if I did, then she would be here and I wouldn’t.”

Harry stopped as Hermione gasped, covering her mouth in shock. Snape stood there dumbstruck.

“Why that arrogant, ignoramus….” Snape thought to himself. Those words were followed by other words that would have put Tobias Snape to shame.

“Oh God, Harry. I’m so sorry. Ron told me, but didn’t think it was that bad. Ron is genuinely sorry.” Hermione apologized to Harry, who seemed not to hear it.

Harry did hear it. He had been staring at Snape, thinking, “It looks like he’s stuck in that spot.”

“That’s it.” Harry whispered to himself.

“What’s it?” Hermione questioned.

“The Malfoy file.” Harry said, not realizing that Hermione had asked him something.

Harry tried to stand up, but the world was still spinning.

“Let me go get it, Harry.” Hermione said, running out of the room.

Waiting till she was out of ear shot, Snape spoke to Harry.

“What would you not tell Ms. Granger?”

“I told him that he didn’t know what it was like, what I’m going through. What I didn’t tell him was that the guilt had been threatening to drown me since she died. How did you deal with the guilt after Lily Evans died? How did it not kill you?”

“Harry, it did almost engulf me. I was this close…” Snape held up his first finger and thumb, which were less than an inch apart from each other. “This close, to ending it all. I was at my wits end and about to end everything when a friend sought me out. He was unrelenting. He wouldn’t let me alone and, finally, I began talking to him about how I was feeling. If I were you, I would seek out someone to talk to. I don’t feel qualified for you to confide in me, but I hear Ms. Granger listens very well. Why not try talking to her?” Snape stopped speaking as Hermione walked back into the room.

When Harry had the files in his hands, he began feverishly searching for one specific picture. After a third of the file was strew about on the floor, Harry held the picture in his hand.

“Here.” He shouted, handing the picture to Hermione.

“It’s a gas pedal.” She stated, seeing nothing of interest within the picture.

“It’s the gas pedal of the Malfoy’s car. The muggle authorities who investigated their deaths said that the gas pedal was stuck. Do you see anything that is preventing it from working properly?” Harry questioned.

“I see nothing.” She answered as she handed the picture to Snape, who studied it carefully.

“I see nothing obvious.” Snape agreed.

“What if it was something that we couldn’t see. What if it was a spell or a charm?” Harry questioned.

“I can tell you that there were no charms found in the car.” Hermione informed Harry.

“That may be true, but are there not ways to make spells undetectable? I know of one spell that is undetectable.”

“The imperius curse.” All three said in unison.

“But Harry, that’s a curse. Curse’s are made to be undetectable. Especially an Unforgivable.” Hermione argued.

“Professor, can’t charms be made undetectable?”

“I’ve seen it done.” Snape answered after much thought. “It is very, very, advanced magic. There are only two people that I know of that can perform that type of magic. Both are dead, mind you, but it is not entirely impossible for them to pass on their knowledge.”

“Who were they?” Hermione inquired.

“The greatest wizard of all time and the greatest dark wizard of all time.” Snape whispered.

“Did you see Voldemort teach this to Yaxley?”

“Why do you think it’s Yaxley who killed the Malfoys?”

“When I spoke to Rodolphus Lestrange, he said ‘when you find Yaxley, make sure that you kill him.’ When I asked why he said, ‘because he’s the reason that I’m in here and the Malfoys are dead.’”

“You’re betting on death eater words? Harry, that’s absurd.”

“We’ll find out, if you let Professor Snape answer the question.”

Harry and Hermione turned to Snape.

“I know that Yaxley had wanted to learn and Voldemort attempted to teach him several times, but to no avail. Yaxley knew the basics of it, but he could not master it.”

“What if he could master it on his own?” Harry asked.

“It is very hard to master an advance branch of magic on your own.”

“I did. I knew the basics of occulmency and I mastered it. It can be done. I think that Yaxley did just that and killed the Malfoys.”

The three of them sat in silence, while Hermione and Snape attempted to comprehend what Harry just told them.

“Harry, can I be frank with you?” Hermione asked, not waiting for an answer to continue. “I think you are grasping for straws. Let me finish!” Hermione shouted as Harry tried to speak. “You’re grasping for straws because you are not over Ginny’s death. You know that Yaxley killed Ginny and you know that he is going to die, but you want more justice. You want more justice because you know that’s what Ginny would want.”

“I’m not grasping for straws.” Harry interjected.

“Harry, please listen to me. I think you are doing this for Draco. You know that it’s like to live without parents and, even thought he was awful to us in school, you can’t stand to see him in pain. You can’t stand to see anyone go through the pain that you went through. You care for people no matter how bad they have been to you. I told you this, and you weren’t happy the first time I told you, but I’m going to tell you again. You have a thing for wanting to ‘save people’. It makes sense based on how you were raised.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Harry questioned angrily, pulling the bag of ice away from his jaw.

“Think about it. Your aunt and uncle neglected you. You hated the feeling of it. No one tried to save you. Then Sirius came along and he was always there for you. When you saw the person that you loved and who loved you back being “tortured”, you had to help him because you didn’t want him to feel pain like you felt.” Hermione finished tentatively, for she heard Harry breaking ice in his fist at the mention of Sirius.

“Please stop, Hermione.” Harry pleaded in a whisper, but Hermione continued speaking.

“Then you found out that Professor Snape was still alive. He helped you learn who your mother was. You told me, the night that Ginny died, Yaxley shot a spell at Snape and you turned.”

“ENOUGH!” Harry shouted, his hand closing around a piece of glass.

He whipped it violently at the wall, where it exploded with a loud crash. Hermione jumped and gave a quiet yelp, but she did not waver in her position. Snape stared, switching his gaze between his two former students. He watched as Harry’s expression, which had been filled with venom and malice, turned to one of sadness, guilt, and grief. Harry put his head in his hands and cried. Hermione showing no fear, moved next to Harry.

“Harry, I know how sad you are and I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Hermione whispered as she placed a hand on his arm. “I don’t know how you fell and I don’t try to pretend that I do. I do know what you may be thinking though. You think that it’s your fault. You are consumed with grief and guilt because you could not save the one person who mattered most to you. You are also consumed with guilt because you can’t stand to see your children in pain. You are consumed with a helpless feeling because you see that they are in pain, and yet you can’t do anything about it.”

“It’s so much more than that, Hermione.” Harry whispered, looking up from behind his tears.

“Then tell me what I’m missing.” Hermione said, standing up and holding out a hand.

Harry, still crying, took her hand and they sat on the couch. When Harry began to speak, Snape left the room. Walking into the kitchen, Snape swore under his breath violently. How dare Weasley think that Harry didn’t love his wife? How dare he think that Harry wouldn’t give up his life for her?

Snape brewed tea in the kitchen. When he was standing there, he gripped the counter hard. He had to calm down, or something was going to snap inside of him. He was angry because of Weasley, but he was also mad because he knew that what Granger said was correct. Every time that Harry almost died or was seriously hurt, it was because he tried to save someone. Snape remembered Harry turning to him that night. Harry had to make sure that Snape was okay, and it costed Harry his wife.

“If only I had blocked that spell…” Snape whispered.

“No, I am not going down that road again.” He thought. “Ms. Weasley died because Yaxley killed her.”

The howling of the tea kettle brought Snape out of his mind. Pouring two cups of tea, Snape whispered.

“You had to have a son who is a Gryffindor through and through, Lily. You just had to.”

Snape took the cups of tea out into the living room, where he placed them on the table. None of his former students paid him any mind, which was okay with Snape. He flicked his wand. The broken glass went back to its original spot and the table, which Harry had knocked over, became upright once more.

“At least, he has someone to talk to now, Lily.” He said as he entered the kitchen once again.

There he read and drank tea. Once he finished his tea, Snape put his book down and stared out the window. He seemed to be thinking but really, Snape was enjoying the quiet of the room.

“Ms. Granger will be a much better person for Harry to talk to. She knew Ginny and she can help him much more than I ever could.” Snape said to the silence.

Snape was selling himself short though, because Harry kept wanting to talk to Snape. Snape knew how Harry felt and that’s what he needed. He needed someone to show him that he could continue to live with the guilt and the grief. Who better than Severus Snape, a man who had once been in Harry’s position.