He rubbed his temple, still sitting on the couch where he'd been when Harry had left half an hour ago. Letters from Remus Lupin would have been one of those things categorized in things he'd like to know about. What else was Harry hiding? Was Voldemort sending him love letters? Severus snorted then feeling that it was far past his bed time to be having thoughts of that nature. Rising from his spot on the couch, he wondered if there would come a time when the child would be willing to talk to him about his woes. When will you be comfortable talking about yours? He shook his head again.

* * *

Harry was drowsy. He had a headache too. That was his reward for not sleeping again last night. It had been three nights now since Remus had come to see him. The full moon had come and gone by now. It had been three sleepless nights with Harry fretting and worrying himself over what kind of person he was, and how he didn't even know what kind of person he wanted to be. By all rights he did have reason to be uncertain. James wasn't his father anymore, and even if he were, he had been a bully. Dumbledore often ignored Harry's needs. Sirius had betrayed him. Remus meant well, but had only injured his ego further. Snape... his father... Harry had been thinking hard on that one. His father had been there to help him through the summer, but not willingly. Not until after he'd found out that Harry was his son. Harry wanted to help people even if they weren't related, so Harry wasn't sure that he wanted to follow in his father's footsteps either. Just at the moment, having a hard time seeing his own redeeming qualities, Harry was also having trouble seeing them in others as well.

"You look tired," Ron commented as Harry sat down next to him in Transfiguration.

"I am tired," Harry said.

"You weren't up late brewing again were you?"

"No," Harry said. "Just stressing about that big test in Potions tomorrow, he lied.

"You? You're sure to get an O. I mean, look who the man's son is," he whispered with a smile as he elbowed Harry. Harry raised a brow, still surprised that Ron was taking this so well. If he'd found out that Ron's dad was Snape a few weeks ago he wasn't sure he would have reacted so calmly.

"Well, I didn't sleep much anyway," or at all, he thought.

"I heard those caffeine pills you make work wonders. Why not have one of those."

Harry raised his brows. Now there was an idea. He was so tired he hadn't thought about it.

"I even saw Hermione taking one last week."

Harry reached into his bag and grabbed the tin that rattled with the caffeine pills they'd been selling and took one out, swallowing it quickly as McGonagall came into the room. It was only a minute before he was feeling downright perky, even despite his uncertainty about who he was and who he was becoming.

At the end of class, Ron nudged him on their way out the door and said, "You look a far sight better. Have anymore?"

"How many have you had this week? The limit is two."

"None. I haven't had the money to buy them."

Harry reached into his bag again and pulled two out, depositing them into Ron's hand. "You get the friend price."

"What's that?"

"Free," Harry said with a grin, still feeling perky.

As they went through the day however, Harry was disappointed to discover that the pill did not last as long as he would have liked. By Charms he was feeling depressed and tired again, and was digging in his bag for another pill, willing in that moment to reach his weekly limit in one day. I'll sleep later, he told himself. I won't need any more after tonight.

When Harry failed to fall asleep again late that night however, despite feeling even more tired than before he'd taken the pills, he considered the tin of 30 or more pills sitting innocently in his bag on the floor. He had access to them. He knew how to make more. They were his after all. And the weekly limit of two was because some people couldn't control themselves and might get addicted his father had said. Harry snorted as he reached into the bag and pulled one out. He was in control. He'd gotten Draco out of that terrible house and away from Sirius after all hadn't he? He'd been in control of the situation then. And he'd found a way to get himself out. He'd controlled his life when he left the castle. Eating the pill, Harry pulled out his homework and set to work finishing all of it, even reading ahead in his Potions and Transfigurations texts a couple of chapters.

He finally did fall asleep at four am for the first time in days, satisfied that he'd gotten so much work done and that he'd made the decision to keep taking the pills because they made him feel good. When Ron woke him up at 7:30 the next morning, Harry discreetly swallowed another pill and put a handful of them in his pocket so that no one would notice him pulling the tin out during the day. Yes, this is going to be a wonderful day, he thought to himself.

* * *

"We need to make more already?"

Harry nodded and rattled the almost empty tin of pills. There were seven left inside. He'd counted. Twice.

"I didn't think they were that popular."

"Remember that big NEWT screener the seventh years had to take last week?"

Draco nodded.

"A group of Hufflepuff girls had a meltdown and panicked about not having enough study time. There went most of them right there. And there were some Ravenclaws that bought them for the same reason."

"Ugh," Draco said pulling out ingredients to start making another batch of the pills. "Don't make me think about NEWTS next year. We just got done with OWLS last year, I don't want to think about big tests."

"Well at least we'll have these when the time comes," Harry said rattling the tin again.

"If the Huffs don't eat them all."

Harry laughed then, still feeling very good about all of this despite his lie and began helping Draco with the potion. By dinner they had a new batch and Harry's tin was full again.

"I'll take half of them. I'll push them on the Slytherin seventh years next time a big test rolls around."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, not wanting to give half of his new supply up. He was taking five a day now. One with each meal and one in between meals. He found that the more he took them the less effective they were and the quicker they were wearing off. By next week he'd be up to six a day.

"Yeah," Draco said, pulling out another tin. "I think I'm a fair salesman, don't you think? I did sell out the entire stock of green hair cream, and that newest batch of acne remover we made yesterday."

"Oh, ok," Harry said. He reluctantly handed over the tin to Draco, who took half and packed them into his bag.

"I don't like them myself," Draco said. "They make me feel too upbeat... I do have a reputation to uphold you know." He gave Harry a smile and then left for the Slytherin common room.

"Yeah," Harry said to the empty brewing room. "Upbeat." Harry had been sleeping better after taking the pills all day, so sleep was no longer the issue. It was how they made him feel all day, despite any errant thoughts about Sirius or himself that were floating to the surface of his mind.

Back in the common room, Harry was feeling run down, and decided to take two pills for good measure even though it was the evening and he wanted to get some sleep later. He had homework to do and he was also enjoying being ahead in all his coursework.

* * *

Harry was feeling numb. He'd been taking two pills with every meal now and the pills just weren't working now. He didn't want to start taking three because his supplies were dwindling now, but he also didn't want to feel like himself anymore. He was used to feeling better... upbeat as Draco had put it. He wanted to feel like that again.

"Hey Harry," can I have some more of those pills? Friend price?"

Harry glanced sideways at Ron, who was holding out his hand. No, he thought snarkily to himself, you cannot have any of my pills. They're mine and you can shove off.

"I uh- I think we're going to stop making them," Harry lied quickly.

"Why?"

Harry leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, "One of the Ravenclaws complained that it made some of his hair fall out. It hasn't grown back yet."

Ron's eyebrows widened then and he reached up to feel his hair.

"Not there," Harry said, and then lowered his gaze to Ron's nether regions briefly.

"Yikes," Ron said. He got up then and headed for what Harry was sure was the bathroom. Good he thought, that solved that problem. What he hadn't counted on was Ron spreading the false rumor. By the end of the day Draco had brought the rumor to Harry's attention and said that they'd better stop making the caffeine pills before teachers got involved.

"I haven't noticed any hair loss," Harry said, reaching up to his head like Ron had done earlier.

"Bodily hair," Draco clarified, "and I wouldn't know, I don't take them. Well, let's just destroy the rest then." He held out his hand for the tin, but Harry put his hands in his pockets.

"All out," Harry said. "They've been selling like crazy. Guess we'll have to come up with something new to sell."

"All of them? We made near a hundred! You had fifty in your tin." Harry shrugged. "Sold the last one a couple of days ago. He still had 10 in his bag but he knew they'd be gone by tomorrow.

"Well, I'll ask around to find out what people are interested in then," Draco said. "I've got to do some homework now though. I'll see you later."

"Later," Harry said. As soon as Draco was gone, Harry pulled out the tin and ate two pills for good measure. He'd have to start making them on his own. He hated feeling numb. Even his mind felt fuzzy when the pills wore off.

* * *

"Psst."

Harry frowned. What was that?

"Psssst."

Harry stopped in the darkened corridor. It was almost curfew and he didn't want to get caught out after hours. The last thing he needed was a teacher snooping around in his business or giving him detention.

"Over here."

Squinting Harry saw a head disappear back around the corner of a pitch black corridor. It was the corridor people usually snogged in during the day because there were no windows. A few steps back down the hall, and he was facing a seventh year Ravenclaw he'd never spoken to.

"Those pills you're selling don't make your hair fall out."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "How would you know?"

"Because I've been buying them off other students and I've been selling them at double the price. I took three this morning before your little lie and I'm fine."

Crossing his arms now, Harry said, "What do you want? More pills? I don't have any more."

"That's a lie. I'll make you a deal. You give me what you got, and I'll give you what I've got. I want the pills to stay awake and so do others. You're using them for the way they make you feel."

Harry stared at him for long moments. "What's your name?"

"Devon. Are you going to give me what you've got left?"

"What do you have?"

Devon pulled his hand out of his pocket and withdrew a phial full of red powder. "It's root of asphodel. I sneak out of the castle on the full moon and pull it up when it's red. If you mix a pinch with water it will make you feel on top of the world."

"I've never heard that. It looks like dirt to me."

"Call it what you want. You give me one of those pills and I'll give you a taste."

Harry was too curious for his own good. The pills weren't working for him anymore and he'd raise too much suspicion if he used the ingredients in the brewing room to make more. He reached into his pocket and pulled out one pill and handed it to Devon.

Devon conjured a glass from thin air and then used his wand to fill it with water. Harry watched with some curiosity as he pulled out a pinch of the red powder and dropped it into the glass. The water turned bright red and he handed it over.

"The whole thing," Devon told him.

Harry chugged the Asphodel water down and stumbled, feeling suddenly like his body was lighter. He could have been floating, but he looked at the ground and found that his feet were still firmly in place.

"I'll never be able to concentrate in class with this in my system," he said.

"Give it a minute," Devon said with a grin. "The fog will clear out and you'll feel better." True to what he had said, Harry's head cleared up and he felt like a thousand Galleons.

"Deal," Harry said, pulling the pills out of his pocket and reaching for the phial of Asphodel root.

"Not- so- fast," Devon said, pulling the phial just out of Harry's reach.

"Ten pills is not worth a whole phial. I risk getting caught after curfew and getting eaten by werewolves to harvest this, not to mention it's illegal to have so if I get caught with it I'm toast."

"What do you want?" Harry asked after a few moments of tense silence.

"Forty pills by tomorrow."

Harry reached forward to grab the phial again and Devon pulled it out of his reach again.

"By tomorrow," Devon said, and Harry nodded. "Tomorrow."

Phial of root firmly in hand, Harry strode away to begin work immediately. His mind had never felt so sharp and clear in all his life, and he still felt like he was walking on air. He'd make the pills tonight and replace the ingredients in the store cupboard tomorrow. He stayed up until four in the morning brewing the potion and making the pills. By breakfast he'd slipped the new tin into Devon's bag on his way past Ravenclaw table.

You are some salesman Harry, he thought to himself as he chugged a glass of root water at the table disguised as pumpkin juice. Some salesman indeed.