In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.'

Parts of Invictus by William Ernest Henley

-------------------------------------------------------

Harry would always remember Sirius the way he was the day he died. Strong, fearless, and proud. Proud of him. Proud of me. The thoughts about what Sirius had done were no longer circling in his mind. Harry knew what Sirius had done to him, but he also knew what Sirius had done for him. One didn't excuse the other, but Harry felt like Sirius had redeemed himself, and Harry would remember him as the man that loved him enough to come for him at the Ministry. As the man that came to keep Voldemort from dragging him back down into the depths. As a man who cared about what happened to him, and who did his best upon realizing he had made mistakes and failed. Harry wouldn't remember him as a man that had fallen, but as a man who had done his best to climb back out of the pit he'd unfairly found himself thrown into. Harry would remember him that way, because all you could do was your best. It was what Remus had taught him. It was what Remus had taught the both of them.

Harry stood over the grave of Sirius on the edge of the lake, hands in his pockets. It was cold out and he didn't have his gloves. It had frozen overnight, turning the large mud impressions and craters into ice and ensuring they stayed that way for some time. Good, Harry thought to himself. Maybe the grounds should stay marred. People should never forget what happened here.

"I don't know why you did it," Harry said quietly, looking at the dirt they had piled on the grave yesterday. "But you showed me the real you yesterday. You changed. I'm glad that's possible." He sincerely hoped it was possible, because he was craving the dirt again, and he hated himself for it. He hated Devon and he hated the dirt, and he hated himself. He sighed. If Sirius could change... find some redemption, then maybe there was some hope for him yet.

"I wish you didn't have to say goodbye so soon after you said hello again. I'm sorry I wrote all those terrible letters to you. My dad was right. I was being unfair."

Sirius was dead. He couldn't answer back. But Harry still talked to him like he was there, alive and listening.

"I hope you found your peace."

Harry turned to walk back up through the trees to the castle. Maybe Sirius had to say goodbye to find his peace. Maybe he had to say goodbye to find his redemption. Maybe goodbye was a second chance. It must have been, because Harry saw his Godfather like he did before. Before the summer and before the dirt. He was just Sirius. He was the man Harry would miss. Harry wasn't the only one who would miss him, he reminded himself. Somewhere up in the castle was Remus, and Harry wondered how he was doing. His father had taken him to the makeshift Hospital Ward in the Great Hall and left him there. After they had burned Voldemort's body Harry hadn't bothered to check in on him or anyoen else. He had gone straight up to Gryffindor tower and fallen into his bed and gone to sleep.

Now it was the morning and he hadn't been feeling up to dealing with other people. He didn't want to talk about Voldemort's demise, or about Sirius, or anyone else who had died. He actually didn't know if anyone else had died aside from Death Eaters. It saddened him then to think that there might be friends that he didn't even realize were gone. How had Luna fared? And Neville? Dean and Seamus? Cho? What about Draco's friend Teddy Knott?

Harry avoided the frozen craters in the ground as he crunched across the ice and frost back up to the castle. At some point in the night someone had come and removed the bodies. He wondered if it had been the teachers or the Ministry. He was sure there had to be aurors around here somewhere, searching for any lingering Death Eaters. At the top of the steps Harry opened the door and was surprised when the very people he was thinking about were in the Entrance Hall. Ten or more Aurors were talking or checking chains on prisoners wrists. There had to be at least twenty Death Eaters sitting in a line against the wall next to the stairs leading to the first floor. The captured witches and wizards looked tired. Maybe they hadn't been given a chance to sleep yet.

Harry hoped to get away without being noticed, but the woman who he'd been speaking to in the circle the night before caught his eye. She looked sad as she watched him cross the hall and he stopped and stared at her. He didn't know why, but he felt compelled to go to her. The man who he'd tackled as a bear the night before and snapped his wand was sitting next to her.

"You're married aren't you?" Harry said in realization. They were the only two Death Eaters he'd seen who seemed to be concerned for their children's safety. The man looked away, ashamed, and the woman stared at Harry.

"He took our children," she said. "He locked them up. He said we could only have them back if we fought."

"Your husband said your children go to school here."

"Two of them do," she said. "In Hufflepuff. The other two are eight and nine. We don't even know where he put them."

"Hey! Get away from them!" an auror shouted as he strode across the hall, and Harry stood up from where he'd been crouching in front of them. When he turned around, the auror stopped short. "Oh... Mr. Potter."

"What are you going to do with all of them?" he asked. Some of them looked injured, and he recognized his large bear scratches across several of them.

"They're going to be taken to the Ministry and interrogated under Veritaserum."

"And what if some of them were bewitched?" Harry asked. He didn't know if he believed what the woman had told him, but he didn't want anyone innocent to go prison either. He knew what it was like to be an orphan, and he hated to think more kids would be after last night's battle.

"The Veritaserum will show us the truth."

Harry spied Draco leaning against the entrance to the Dungeons and left the auror to go to his friend. Draco looked like he'd showered. Harry had only had a quick one this morning to get some of the grime off of his body, but he still felt dirty.

"Hey," Harry said, standing with him in the archway and watching as two aurors made a particularly crazy looking Death Eater stand as they put extra chains on him.

"Hey." Draco seemed meloncholly.

"What happened last night? With your parents?"

"My mother showed up and tried to drag me off the grounds... away from the fight. Then my father showed up and tried to help her. Only a group of Death Eaters caught them and dragged all three of us to the circle."

"How did your dad get out of Azkaban?"

"Mother broke him out. That's where she was. Away plotting and gathering people to help her break him out."

Harry followed Draco's gaze across the Entrance Hall. His parents were sitting on the floor at the far end, backs against the wall and chained like the others.

"Did they fight at all?"

"I don't think they have a side anymore," Draco said. "They were only concerned with getting me out of danger and away from Voldemort. Father got hit three times with hexes pushing me out of the way. His arm caught fire... no one's even looked at it yet."

"You think they've changed?" Harry asked.

"They're tired. We're all tired of fighting."

Draco sounded so certain. He looked certain. Sirius had changed. He'd done the best he could. Maybe that's what Draco's parents were trying to do. He strode forward away from Draco and up to the person that looked like the auror in charge.

"Excuse me."

The auror turned around and gave Harry a hard look, eyes traveling from the stubble on his chin, up to his scar under the fringe of his messy hair, and then back down to his eyes.

"Make it quick. I don't have time to talk to children right now."

"You're holding two of my invited guests."

"Excuse me?" The auror let his mouth hang slack for a moment and dropped the clipboard he'd been holding. It looked like it had a long list of names. Some had red lines through them, and some had a check mark next to them.

"Two of my family members. They were here because I invited them. You've got them chained up."

"I don't see the name Potter on my list kid."

"Lucius and Narsissa Malfoy."

The man snorted. "Those two? She broke him out of Azkaban four nights ago. Give me a break. They're Death Eaters through and through."

"They used to be," Harry said. "Now they're not. They spent the night protecting my cousin and sending curses at Death Eaters."

The cranky man stared into Harry's eyes. "You think we owe you something. Is that what this is? You think because you're famous that you get to march in here and call the shots?"

"I don't think anything," Harry said, "aside from that you're holding my family hostage and I'd like them back."

"You've been confounded. Their kid placed a charm on you. I can see him over there watching, slack jawed, wondering if this will work."

Harry gave Draco a look, and sure enough he seemed floored by what Harry was doing.

"This summer my cousin Draco Malfoy was the only one that kept me going. I wouldn't have been there last night to toss Voldemort off the roof or burn his body if it hadn't been for Draco. So you might try to understand that I'm thankful to his parents for coming and saving his life."

"He's not your cousin. You're Harry Potter. The Potters aren't related to the Malfoys."

"I'm Harry Potter, son of Severus Snape and Lily Potter. Severus Snape who is a direct relative of the Malfoys. Severus Snape who is standing in that doorway over there giving you the glare of death." Harry pointed to the doorway to the Great Hall and the auror looked. Severus was there with his arms crossed, watching the exchange with a mixture between a frown and an impassive look. Harry hoped he put on a scowl just for the auror to prove what Harry had said.

"Snape's son eh?"

Harry let his arm fall.

"Everybody thinks they can tell us what to do," the man muttered. "Kinglsey! Come here! Take the Malfoys to a room and hurry them through interrogation. I want them released five minutes ago!" He seemed angry as he stormed off, still muttering to himself. Draco's parents looked shocked as Kingsley and another auror came to help them to their feet and to a room somewhere down the Hufflepuff hallway.

Harry tried to go up the stairs back to Gryffindor, but his father strode over to him and took his arm. "Not so fast. I've been given strict orders to wrangle you for Poppy."

"I'm fine."

"You think it wise to release the Malfoys? Isn't it a little early to be calling in favors?"

"For a friend? Never." Harry smiled as his father lead him by the arm into the Great Hall. Cots had been summoned and students and staff were recovering in them. The windows had been repaired but they looked like they could still use some spiffing up.

"Be cautious," Severus warned him, leaning in so only Harry could hear. "Draco is biased. They are his parents. He may not even realize he is being foolish."

"I learned one thing this year," Harry said as he was lead across the hall and made to sit at Ravenclaw table.

"Just the one?"

"People change. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad."

"You think that because Black came to the fight that he should be forgiven?"

"I think I've forgiven other people in my life for serious offenses when they showed they wanted to be different," he said, giving his father a meaningful look, and Severus closed his mouth.

Madam Pomfrey came over and tsked and tutted for nearly ten minutes at the state of Harry's back. He'd been burned the night before in his bear form, and had several deep gashes on his face and arms that had only closed because his magic had made them do so temporarily. He had a broken rib too.

"You're going to stay for at least a few hours," she said. "Heavens. Imagine if Severus hadn't brought you in. I would have had to search the entire school for you."

"He was hurt, how come he doesn't have to stay?"

"After I hunted him down in his quarters this morning I put a spell on him confining him to the Great Hall and Entrance Hall, and he only got that leeway so that he could snag you and bring you in here."

Harry looked up and gave his father a concerned look. "Are you ok?"

"She is a mother hen. I am fine."

"Sprained ankle, sprained wrist, cuts and contusions, and your core dropped back down to ninety again. That's not normal Severus. You shouldn't have been in that fight at all so soon after your last ordeal."

She waved her wand over Harry then and said, "See? His core is still at 100. That's normal."

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and went to lay down in an empty cot a few minutes later while the Potion's Master and medi-witch continued to argue. Apparently his father was fairly angry that she'd cast a confinement spell on him, as he had better things to be doing than sitting around all day 'recuperating'. Harry wasn't going to complain about getting a day to rest though. He was still tired.

"Harry, in here," McGonagall said, waving him over to the staff room behind the Head table.

"I trust you won't go to the roof and escape?" she said, giving him a knowing smile.

"Promise," he said as she opened the door and let him in. Remus was inside along with Professor's Flitwick and Madam Hooch. Their cots were spaced out around the lounge and there was a fire going in the grate. They were all sleeping.

"Take that cot Harry. Next to Remus."

"Er..." he frowned. He was the only student in here. "I get to stay with the staff?"

"Oh, I think we can make an exception just this once. And if Severus stops arguing with Poppy I'll send him in too."

"Thanks," Harry said, scratching the back of his neck. She left and closed the door, but he didn't sit down on the cot. Instead he went to a comfy looking red chair next to Remus' cot. Harry wanted to talk to his Godfather, but didn't want to wake him up, so he put his head on his arms on the side of the chair, pulled his legs up underneath himself, and closed his eyes. He thought he rather deserved a nap.

Madam Pomfrey realized almost half an hour after Harry had fallen asleep that he'd wandered away without being healed and broke away from her argument with Severus to find him. He didn't protest when she woke him to go lay in the cot, and he tried his hardest to sleep through her poking him with her wand to heal his ribs and putting burn salve on his back. Eventually she left him alone and let him get back into a real doze.

It was dinnertime when he woke. The other occupants of the room were still sleeping, and Harry was surprised to find his father on a cot only a foot away from his. Madam Pomfrey wasn't around, so he stood up quietly and went back into the Great Hall. Some of the people in cots were sitting and eating, and Harry wondered where the rest of the school was for dinner since the Great Hall was occupied.

"Are you hungry?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Harry's stomach grumbled in response loudly enough for her to hear, and she smiled. "I'll get you something."

"Where is everybody else?"

"They're eating in the Entrance Hall and in the Kitchen and Hufflepuff corridor. The House elves are having a fit over it because they can't send the food directly to the tables."

"Oh... I don't want to be any trouble."

"Nonsense."

"Can I go out into the Entrance Hall?"

"Hurry along, before Poppy sees."

Harry grinned and went out into the Entrance Hall. Draco was sitting in the midst of a large group of sixth year Gryffindors in the corner, and Luna was there with them. Harry made his way over and sat down between Ginny and Neville. Ron and Hermione were on the other side of the circle.

"There he is!" Dean shouted and a cheer went up around the hall.

Harry held up his hand in motionless wave as his face turned red, and put his head down as Professor McGonagall brought out a plate of food for him. It was a buttered bead roll and warm rost beef with steamed carrots.

"We thought you might have died," said Neville. "No one had seen you and we didn't believe Draco."

Draco looked away at the mention of his name, but Harry elbowed him lightly and brought his gaze back around. "Why not?" he asked. "Draco's my cousin. He always knows where I am."

"Isn't that nice?" Luna said serenely. Harry noted she had a large bruise above her eye which was a stark contrast against her pale skin. Maybe Madam Pomfrey hadn't seen her yet.

"What?" Seamus asked. "Cousins?"

Everyone in their group quieted to hear what explanation Harry had.

"He's Professor Snape's son," Ron finally said after the long pregnant pause in which Harry didn't say anything, because he didn't know what to say.

The group laughed and then Harry said, "It's true."

"Snape? Harry Snape? Defeater of Voldemort?"

"He's gonna tell us he's a unicorn next," said Parvati, and everyone laughed.

"Come on," Harry said at the ribbing. "It's true."

"You didn't tell us," Neville said, giving Harry a sad look.

"I didn't know until this year," he said.

"There's a lot he doesn't say to his friends," Ron said from the other side of the circle, and Harry noted sadness in his voice as well. He was referring to the Asphodel. No, I didn't tell them. I'm a jerk remember? And in that moment he craved the asphodel worse than he had for months. He finished his food quietly, listening as people around the Entrance Hall joked and laughed and told stories from the night before.

"Did you see us?" a boy from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team said excitedly in the group next to theirs. "Madam Hooch gave us free reign to fly over the castle and throw flaming Dragon dung from Snape's personal stores down at people! Who knew it would explode like that?"

"I took out a Death Eater with a goblet!" said a third year Hufflepuff girl proudly.

"I saw Harry Potter turn into a bear and chase two Death Eaters across the Entrance Hall!"

"I saw him turn into an eagle and fly up to the North tower!"

"I saw-"

"I battled-"

"We fought-"

"I'm so glad-"

It went on and on and Harry's head was starting to hurt. He stood up, leaving his plate on the floor, and made for the Dungeon entrance. He just wanted to be some place quiet and devoid of people. They were all so happy, and he was so hungry for the dirt. He went down the stairs and turned left at the bottom and leaned against the wall in the solemn silence, hand shaking as his fingers crawled across the rough stone.

A few minutes passed before someone came up behind him.

"Harry?"

It was Ron. He didn't answer. Is was bad enough that his friend knew about the dirt. He didn't want to be seen like this.

"You're shaking," he observed.

Harry still didn't answer.

"Hermione told me what Asphodel is. What happens to people that use it. We had no idea you were-"

"I'm not a hero," Harry said. And he meant it. He wasn't. 'Just a little boy with an addiction.' Voldemort's cold words rang in his ears.

"-struggling with that," Ron finished quietly.

"Struggling," Harry gave a short laugh. "Involved with, you mean. Using. Messing up my life."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I was embarassed. Devon gave it to me. I shouldn't have tried it."

"Did Draco know?"

He shook his head, still holding onto the wall. His entire body felt shaky. "My dad and Dumbledore hid it. Madam Pomfrey knew. And Remus, but only because I needed someone to sit with me on the full moon so I wouldn't go out to get it."

"Hermione still thinks you might be a werewolf you know. She thinks Dumbledore's in on it and she's been accosting Ginny for details."

Harry laughed then and looked at his friend.

"You look awful. You're drenched in sweat."

Harry took in a deep breath. "You have no idea how bad this is. I thought- I thought I'd beaten it. I didn't have cravings for months. My dad said you could have cravings for your entire life if you weren't lucky."

"And that bastard had to bring it out in front of you to make it start again."

"He was right. I'm not a hero, just an-" he still couldn't say it. If he said the word addict then it would be real.

"He wasn't right. He was a pratt."

They were quiet as Harry closed his eyes and Ron wondered what to do for his friend.

"Why did you do it?"

"The Asphodel?"

Ron nodded.

"I was messed up over Sirius. I wanted to stop feeling so bad all the time."

"That's what friends are for," Ron said and Harry opened his eyes and looked at him again. There was a seriousness in Ron's eyes.

"I'm not going to make it," Harry said, voicing his fears allowed, and this one in particular for the first time. How would he get a job like this, in this condition? He'd never become an auror or a teacher or a Quidditch player now. "No one wants- an addict around."

"You're not an addict. You're my friend, and I want you around. Tell me what you need and I'll help you."

"I need candy," Harry said seriously, but then he laughed at the look on Ron's face. "Seriously! It helps. And I just need-"

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever change Ron, ok? You're already the perfect friend."

"Come off it Harry," he said with a grin and gave him a light punch in the arm. "Come on, I'm taking you back to the Great Hall before you pass out. Then I'll go and raid Ginny's secret stash of sweets and sneak them in to you."

"That's going to suck," Harry said, allowing Ron to put his hand on his shoulder to move him back in the direction of the stairs. "Walking through all those people looking like this."

"Nah, just wait."

They got to the top of the stairs and some of the people had cleared out, but the majority were still there.

"Hey, what's wrong with him?" Seamus asked loudly.

"Voldemort cursed him last night and it's finally taking it's toll." Ron said in a false panic. "I think he's dying! Everybody out of the way!" Ron ran Harry through the Entrance Hall and Harry gave a particularly convincing fake cough. People gasped and moved aside for them and Ron made sure nobody followed once Harry was in the Great Hall.

"Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey said, rushing over to him.

"I think I'd better lay down," he said.

"Yes I think that would be a good idea."

"Is there anywhere I can do it where no one will see me?"

"Is there a reason?"

"I'm gonna barf and Ron's going to bring me some candy soon."

"I see." She got his message that he didn't want the staff that didn't know to piece the clues together. She took him back into the staff room and then into a door to a side room Harry hadn't seen before. It looked like somebody's office, and when he saw all of the Quidditch photos on the wall he realized it was Madam Hooche's office. He'd never been in here before. She brought in his cot, and a moment later his father followed as Harry was laying down. She left them alone and closed the door.

"Did you get any of it in your system last night?" Severus asked seriously.

"I don't think so."

"Some of it flew up into the air when Devon was knocked down, and you're sweating profusely."

"I'm craving it really bad. I wish I had got some of it last night. It was everything I could do not to stick my face in the jar."

Severus sighed. "I am sorry."

"For what?"

"For failing you as a father. If I had been more attentive to you I would have stopped this before it had happened to begin with."

Harry shook his head as his stomach clenched. He really did feel like he was going to be sick. "You're fine. I'm fine. Everybody's fine," he said, but Severus wasn't sure whether or not Harry said it to reassure himself or to be sarcastic.

* * *

Most of the students and staff had been released from Madam Pomfrey's care. Some of the parents had come to pull their students out of school early in the days that followed the battle, but the majority had stayed.

Harry was doing better, but he was eating hard candies again almost non-stop. The difference this time was that his friends knew about his issue and were happy to try to distract him. Harry was surprised by what a relief it was not to have to try so hard to hide it. People still believed Voldemort had cursed him with some unknown spell and that he was still recovering from it, so if he sweated while sitting in class or didn't show up for a class now and then, he didn't have to explain anything.

When Harry was skipping classes he was with Remus. His father was overly busy and stressed because he was taking care of his own classes and subbing for Remus twice a day. Madam Hooch subbed for Remus for the rest of the classes, but still had her own flying classes to deal with so she couldn't take them all.

Whereas Harry felt better and better as the days wore on and the cravings lessened, Remus only seemed to feel worse. He'd been healed completely (though he still had one massive scar on the side of his stomach from where a spell had slashed him). The problem wasn't medical, it was mental. He was depressed because of Sirius' death and he wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. He spent his days in his room sitting in a chair looking out the window, or sleeping.

Sometimes Dumbledore sat with Remus, but most of the time it was Harry or McGonagall. Harry was surprised to find out that his Head of House and Godfather were such close friends.

"It was like this last time, when James and Lily died and Sirius ended up in Azkaban, but not as bad," McGonagall told Harry in the corridor outside of Remus' quarters one day. "He was depressed for weeks. We all were though."

"What do I do?"

"Just sit with him Potter. Talk to him. He's listening. Believe it or not, he can be just as stubborn as your father, he just doesn't usually show that side of himself."

"Remus stubborn?" Harry laughed. But he did go in and sit with him between classes or on his free periods, and sometimes took his meals up there. Ginny sometimes went with him and they did their homework in Remus' quarters. That went on for a week and a half before Remus finally said something to Harry one evening near curfew.

"Don't come back."

Harry lifted his eyes from his homework. Ginny hadn't come with him tonight because she had a study group for one of her classes. Remus hadn't spoken to him in so long that Harry wasn't sure what to say and wished Ginny were there to help him figure it out.

"What?"

Remus took his gaze away from the window and looked at Harry briefly.

"Tomorrow. Don't come back."

"Why?"

"I don't want you here."

Harry was silent as Remus turned back to the dark window. What was he looking at anyway? It was completely dark out.

Closing his homework inside of his Charms book, Harry dragged his chair towards Remus, McGonagall's words about the man being stubborn coming to mind.

"Stop. Go back to your common room."

Harry paused with the chair, uncertain. "No."

Remus turned to him with an angry look on his face. Harry had seen Remus angry before, both in wolf and human form, but never aimed at him. "I am a Professor and you will give me the respect I deserve! Now get out!"

"I'm your friend and I'm staying."

"You're a child. Leave."

"I get that you're upset, but don't push me awa-"

Remus stood up so fast that his chair almost fell over backwards, and Harry was startled where he sat. Remus glared at him.

"You don't understand anything. Neither does Minerva, or Albus, or Severus! I don't want any of you to come back here again!"

When had his father had come to sit with Remus?

Breathing heavily Harry tried to force down the panic attack that wanted to grip his heart and not let go. His only Godfather didn't want him there. Was angry at him, when he had never been before.

"I don't understand losing someone that I cared about?" Harry asked unbeliving, slight shake in his voice. Remus gave him a look that almost conveyed his sorryness for his statement. "I don't understand trying to push people I care about away so that I don't have to deal with the hurt of them dying later on?" Remus actually seemed surprised by that statement, as if it had struck home like Harry had read his mind. "I don't understand feeling completely alone with no one to turn to?" Remus looked away.

"Here's what I understand," Harry said, trying not to let bitterness seep into his voice. "I know that no matter how stubborn I was, you were there for me and dragged me up to see my dad even though I didn't want to, because it was the right thing to do. I know that even when I didn't respond to your letters, you came to see me anyway. I know that this place and these faces you keep seeing day after day are getting old." Remus looked at him again. "So stand up. Go home Remus. Get out of here if you don't want to be here anymore. Leave me the hell alone if you don't want me around, becuase I just lost one Godfather, again, I don't want to get any closer to you if you're just going to push me away."

Harry waited for Remus to respond but he didn't. He just locked eyes with his Godson for long moments, and then turned away again. Harry stood up and roughly grabbed his books. Fine. Be that way. You don't want me here, I'll leave. I'll be gone and I won't come back, he thought to himself. Harry threw the door open to Remus' quarters and stormed out. He knew he could go to the common room and be with his friends, or to the Dungeons to stay the night with his father, but at that moment he felt particularly alone. Alone. Without any Godfather at all.

Harry stopped a short ways down the darkened corridor and leaned against the wall, clutching his book tightly. Why did things always have to get so screwed up? Harry didn't see his friends in situations like this... or at least not often. In fact, if he wasn't so messed up all the time he'd bet his friend's lives would be perfectly normal. Normal sounded really nice. What was that like anyhow? Going to school and hanging out with friends and writing letters home to parents who were alive and well and didn't have any problems? Normal. It was too elusive an idea for Harry to even imagine. And Remus was the most normal person he was friends with. Well, not anymore, he thought sadly. Harry wanted to march back in there and give His Godfather a piece of his mind. He should. He turned to walk back down the corridor, but was surprised to see Remus coming down it towards him, wand lit to ward off the darkness.

"Harry?"

Harry raised a brow.

"I- I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine," Harry said. He was angry, but he wasn't panicking and the cravings were at the back of his mind at the moment. This is what it took to get Remus out of his room after nine days? Harry storming off?

"Please come back."

"It's after curfew," said Harry flatly. He was pleased Remus was out of his room and talking, but was having to fight hard to push his anger down.

"I'll write you a pass." He looked... needy, and it unsettled Harry. He wasn't used to seeing adults look like that. Harry took a few steps towards him and Remus lead the way the thirty feet back to his quarters and inside.

"It's easy-" Remus said quietly, sitting back down, this time on the trunk against the wall. "when one is so consumed, to forget about what others have been through... are going through."

"I'm fine," Harry said, not wanting Remus to think he was going to have a meltdown or panic attack. Harry was feeling a lot stronger these last couple of weeks since the battle. Less fragile and more like he could withstand slights against him. He wasn't worried for himself or his own sanity at all. Remus was another story.

"I'm glad," Remus said, "because I'm not."

Harry set his book down on Remus' desk and sat down in the chair he'd been occupying five minutes before.

"You will be," Harry said.

"You said, go home if I was tired of the people here... but I can't."

"What's that mean?"

"I can't go home, because this is home. It has been since my first year."

"I know what you mean."

Remus looked up at him, appreciation in his eyes for that understanding.

"James was nice, but it was Sirius who kept after me to join them in their late night escapades. It was Sirius who would drag me out of the dormitory and into the common room to play board games or do homework together, and it was Sirius who dragged James over to sit with me in classes or at meals. Sirius was the one who taught me- made me see that things were different here."

"I guess you were both good for each other then," Harry said.

"I did keep them out of trouble a lot."

"No, I mean- when Sirius was hit, he said you taught him to do the best he could no matter what. That's why he tried to change after what happened in the summer." Harry paused, and then added as an afterthought, "you taught me that too. I think about that a lot."

"He said that?" Remus asked quietly.

Harry nodded and his Godfather looked thoughtful.

"Maybe you should know what he taught me," Harry said, and Remus met Harry's eyes there in the dimly lit room, waiting. "He never said it, but I learned that it's possible to get back up after you fall. To pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep going. Because when you're at the bottom, the only way to go is up."

"He did show us that, didn't he? Or maybe it was you that showed him."

"Maybe," Harry said quietly.

They sat in silence for several minutes while Harry let Remus think over things. Harry was almost going to pick his homework up to start working on it again when Remus spoke.

"I don't know how to do that. I don't know how you and Sirius did it."

"Professor McGonagall said this happened before... after James and Lily."

"I think they drugged me or something, because I don't know how I came out of that."

"I made it through this year because of my friends. My dad, you, Draco, Ron and Hermione and Ginny. Sirius had-"

"Sirius didn't have me. When he said he'd done something to you and you'd run away, I left Grimmuald Place and I only went back to get your things. He wrote to me a couple of times but I only wrote back to him once. He was alone."

"I didn't know that."

"I was a terrible friend, after all he'd done for me, because I was angry."

"Sometimes we're all terrible friends. I wasn't so great to Ron this year."

"I don't want to be consoled about my guilt."

"Too bad, because I'm going to do it anyway. I was guilty when Sirius was dying about the letters I wrote to him, and before that I was guilty for running away and leaving him alone there. And when you told me he was having issues over what happened, I felt guilty then too. He told me not to be. He would forgive you too if he had a chance."

"Well he can't now."

"Doesn't matter," Harry insisted. He didn't know where he was coming up with these things to say, but they felt right. "You obviously mattered to him because if you didn't he wouldn't have been friends with you in school like he was."

Remus sighed and Harry stood up.

"Time for bed."

"I didn't mean to keep you so late," Remus said, but Harry shook his head.

"Not for me, for you. Go to bed because tomorrow morning I'm dragging you down to the Great Hall for coffee, even if I have to petrify you and levitate you down there."

Remus managed a weak smile for his Godson and Harry returned it.

"I can be stubborn too, remember?" Harry asked. Remus went to his bed and sat down and Harry made sure he was lying down before he took his homework and book and went back to Gryffindor tower.

* * *

Harry woke Remus early and they walked down through the castle together. McGonagall gave Harry an approving look in the Entrance Hall, even though Remus still looked tired and meloncholly. If Sirius had dragged Remus to meals and social gatherings, than Harry would do the same if that's what it took, until Remus was ready to do those things on his own.

Later Severus asked Harry after Potions, "How did you get him out of his room?"

"I was stubborn. I learned that from a couple of Professors I know."

Severus gave a rare smile and tousled Harry's hair. "I am glad to have taught you something."

* * *

Harry James Potter, son of Severus Snape and Lily Evans, would have many more trials in the years after his final defeat of Voldemort. He had another year of school, and his whole life ahead of him. Going forward, he knew that no matter what he faced, he had family and friends willing to help him. Which was a good thing, because his cravings for Asphodel never subsided. They did lessen in intensity, but every once in a while something would remind him of his addiction and the cravings would start anew. The full moon was the worst, but he never had to ask for help because his friends always made sure someone was available to sit with him on those nights and keep his mind off of the Asphodel.

In future years people would stop calling Harry The-Boy-Who-Lived becuase he was no longer a boy, though many tried to come up with new names for him. Destroyer of Voldemort. Anamorph Hero. Bear Who Lived. Harry never liked any of them aside from the one his father suggested: Invictus. It meant master of your own fate. Harry liked that, and so did Remus. Voldemort had tried to choose his fate as a baby, choosing him as the one that would fulfil the prophecy, trying to kill him, and succeeding in killing his parents. The twisted man had interfered with almost every year of his education. He had seemed determined to choose Harry's destiny for him, but Harry had won out in the end, not only over Voldemort, but over his own demons as well. Voldemort was dead and gone now though, they'd made sure of it, and Harry liked the feeling that the future was open to him without a prophecy hanging over his head.

* * *

It was impossible for light to filter into the lowest dungeon of the castle. Students weren't allowed down this far. It was lower even than the Chamber of Secrets. Severus hadn't even been aware that the room existed until Albus had shown him after the final battle. It had been unused for decades because it frequently flooded and there was a danger of the ceiling caving in. Shackles hung from the walls, and the stairs leading down were decaying and crumbling. The entire room smelled of dampness and mold. It was in a word: creepy. It was also warded with ancient spells that Severus and Albus and Minerva had had to research, as well as with new. No one could get into this space, and they weren't meant to, not with what was held inside.

On the floor, chained and warded shut, was a beat up metal box. It shook, and shuddered, and every so often, you could hear from within a scream of agony, and terror, and rage.