Severus had sat in the living room for a little while, attempting to make some progress on grading his papers. Minerva was covering his classes but he didn't like her method of grading so every evening a stack of papers arrived at his home like clockwork. He found himself hopelessly distracted, however, and went into his small home office. Although when he went in there he didn't have any conscious intention, he found himself looking for the card they had brought up during their session with Rebecca. It took about fifteen minutes, but he finally found it in his small metal filing cabinet.

The glitter had mostly fallen off but Severus smiled at the cauldron stickers. He flipped it open. In Lily's writing it said 'Happy Birthday!' and below it, Harry had written in block letters 'love Harry and Spice.' He'd misspelled both 'love' and 'Spice.' Severus was beginning to realize that he hadn't really tried to be the boy's father because he had known it would ultimately end in failure and he would be embarrassed for even trying. He could recognize that this was cowardly and lazy; he felt a bit hypocritical because he did not tolerate any signs of laziness in his students. He always told them that if they didn't do it right now, they would make even more work for themselves down the road. That certainly had proven the case in this situation.

His main excuse had always been that he hadn't had much of an example of how to be a father. Severus' childhood had been horrendous. Tobias Snape had been afraid of magic and he had been the type of man who had lashed out when he was afraid. Eileen Snape had been hopelessly weak and effectively cowed by the abuse she endured. Severus had been pretty young when he'd given up hope that his mother would stand up for herself. He'd essentially abandoned her and begun trying to spend as much time away from home as possible. When he was young, this had meant a lot of time with the Evans family. Lily's parents had been pretty good about him being there so often but he couldn't be there all the time. He'd gotten quite skilled at knowing when he had worn out his welcome.

So, there were times when he did have to return to the Snape household, and Tobias was always inevitably in a rage when he did return home. When Severus had gotten older, he'd learned how to make the man more hesitant in his beatings by playing on his fear of magic, but when he was young it had been pretty bad. There had been a couple of times that Mrs. Evans had actually called children's services, much to Severus' horror. Unfortunately, Eileen would always side with Tobias in order to save herself and tell the social worker that Severus was a very difficult child, and he was picked on a lot by the neighborhood children, and she didn't know why he would make up such a story. And - in part, Severus was sure, because he had been a particularly homely child and quite bitter even at that age - they believed her.

This all wasn't really an excuse though. It wasn't Harry's fault that Severus himself had grown up in a loveless and abusive household. He didn't deserve to suffer for it; and Severus was starting to see that the child had indeed suffered. Severus heard the front door open and shut, "Sev? Harry?"

"I'm in the office, Lily," he called.

She appeared a few moments later in her healer uniform. Severus was struck again by how lucky he was to have her. For the first few months of their marriage he had woke expecting to find her gone and all of it a dream but she was always there in the morning. Lily, his Lily. The Lily he had loved since he was little more than a child. It occurred to him sometimes that he had benefited from the misfortune of James Potter and wondered if things would finally come to a bad end because of the way they had been brought together. He would say that most of the time, he didn't feel good enough for her and felt like their marriage must be a bit of a sham. It didn't seem possible to him that she could love him in return. Apparently she felt something, however, because she'd certainly put up with a lot to be with him.

"What are you doing on the floor?" She asked, walking over to him.

"I was just looking through some papers." He said and then gestured for her to come closer. He grasped her wrist and pulled her down to the floor with him. She giggled and protested half-heartedly. He kissed her and said, "You know I love you, right?"

"I know, Sev," she said, and he supposed she had always known, "I love you, too."

There was a pause and then she said, "Sev, you want me to be happy, right?"

"Mm-hm," he said, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Well, I went to talk to my boss at work today again about cutting my hours. You would have been proud of me; I calmly presented my argument for why I should be allowed to move to part-time and pointed out my seniority."

"And what happened?"

"She told me that if I couldn't work the hours that I'd been initially hired on for then maybe I wasn't right for St. Mungo's."

"And you said?"

"That I had to discuss it with my wonderful husband, of course."

"Right. What did you really say?"

"I told her to shove her job." Severus looked exasperated and she rushed on, "They'd probably take me back if I apologized because they're desperate for healers, but I'm really hoping you'll say 'Lily, I completely understand why you want to be home with your son who you almost lost for the second time in his young life and I support you one hundred percent'. Besides, we have quite a bit in savings and maybe when things blow over with Harry, I could even open my own practice like I've always wanted."

It was true that they had quite a bit put away in savings as Severus was a naturally frugal person. Lily was technically a fairly rich woman but she and Severus had both agreed early on that her inheritance from James should be left for when Harry entered adulthood to help him get a head start. Severus sighed, "I do understand, Lily. We'll manage."

She smiled at him and stretched, saying, "How did the appointment with Rebecca go?"

Severus groaned, "The woman is a quack."

"I thought she was a genius when she helped you right after the war," Lily said, "A miracle worker. Sent straight from heaven."

"Shush. You've made your point," Severus said. "I just don't think what we did was very helpful. She had us reveal a bad and good memory in a pensieve and then describe why it was bad or good."

Lily said, "Well, I suppose it could help the two of you put yourselves in the other's shoes a little bit. What was your good memory?"

"The sessions are private," Severus said.

"Oh, come on, tell me."

Severus paused and then said, "Don't laugh."

"I won't." She promised.

He sighed and pulled the card out from the pile where he had stuffed it when he had heard her arrive home. She took it and grinned, "I had almost forgotten about this! Sev, I didn't know you were sentimental."

"I'm not," he said, "It's just that every time I was going to throw it away, it didn't feel like the right thing to do."

She flipped open the card and commented, "Love Harry."

"Yes, well, he was five."

"I think a five-year-old is quite capable of understanding love if not all the strings that are sometimes attached." She looked at him sadly. Then, thankfully, she changed the subject, "What was his?"

"Something from back when I was teaching him his math."
Lily nodded, "The two of you always worked well when you were teaching him. That was part of the reason that I thought things might improve when he went to school."

"We didn't really get much of a chance to see if your theory would hold true." He said; he tried to remember why he had ever stopped tutoring Harry. He supposed he had just gotten busy and started just giving the child workbooks to do that he would check after he went to bed.
Lily sighed and said, "Have you two eaten yet?"

Oh, right. He probably should have made dinner. He'd gotten too distracted and forgotten altogether about eating. Severus told her, "No. Not yet. He's been up in his room."

"Well, that has to be a good sign. At least he's getting better about being alone."

"I think he just really didn't want to be around me," Severus said dully.

Lily went on as if he hadn't spoken, "Maybe we can all have a late dinner. Do you want to go get something started while I get in the shower?"

Severus agreed and Lily disappeared out of the room to get in the shower. He stood up from the floor and went into the kitchen. He pulled some noodles and marinara sauce out of the cupboards as well as some fresh vegetable and ground beef for meatballs. He started the knives on chopping the vegetables and with a wave of his wand formed several meatballs. Soon, everything was cooking, and Severus was glad he'd gotten it done before Lily came back down. They did not work well together in the kitchen; Severus went about it rather like he would brew a potion, methodically. Meanwhile, Lily tended to do things all out of order, which drove Severus crazy.

The smell of food had apparently drawn Harry out of his sleep because he appeared a few moments later with his hair even messier than usual and still blinking away the sleep. It was only then that Severus realized he had made the boy's favorite without even really thinking about it. Harry asked, "Can I help?"

"Everything is pretty much on its way," Severus said, "But you can set the table if you want."

Harry fetched some plates and glasses from the cupboard as well as some silverware. He was done in a few moments, having done a sloppy job though Severus held his tongue, and reappeared in the kitchen. Severus felt the child watching him and turned around and raised his eyebrows inquisitively, "Yes?"

The boy looked away quickly and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. Severus turned back toward the stove, assuming that Harry had changed his mind about speaking to him. Harry walked over and stood beside him, looking at the food cooking on the stove, "So, I was just wondering if that's really a good memory for you. The thing you said when we were with Rebecca."

Severus glanced at him but he was steadfastly examining the boiling pasta. He was too tired to be evasive, "Yes."

Harry wrung his hands and Severus could tell he was having a hard time saying something. He began to tell him that they didn't have to talk about it, but Harry plunged on, "So, I don't really understand why it couldn't be like that all the time. I mean, apparently you were capable of being nice to me or whatever. So was it just too much work to pretend or what?"

He could hear the anger beginning to edge into the boy's voice. Severus sighed and ran a hand over his face, "I don't know, Harry. I made some mistakes, clearly, and I'm not denying that. I am sorry and if we had it to do over again, I think there are things I would have done differently. But unfortunately we only get one chance. And if you hate me for it, I think most people would find that understandable."

Harry paused, lifting the lid off one of the pots to look at the marinara sauce, before saying quietly, "I don't hate you. I just wish . . ."

He stopped as he heard footsteps on the stairs. Lily came into the kitchen in her pajamas with wet hair sticking to her face. Both Harry and Severus turned to look at her. She glanced between the two and said, "What?"

The three were soon eating dinner. Severus happened to look over and saw that Harry had a sizeable smear of tomato sauce on his cheek. He laughed causing Lily to glance at him. Severus explained, "He still can't eat spaghetti."

Harry looked up and protested, "There's nothing wrong with how I eat spaghetti."

Lily grinned and said, "I know when you were younger, Sev tried to convince me to forbid you from eating spaghetti."

"Why?" Harry licked at the spot of tomato sauce on his face causing Severus to toss a napkin at him. The boy picked it up sheepishly.

"Because you needed a bath every single time you ate it," Severus said, "And we found splotches of sauce in the dining room weeks afterward even after spelling it clean."

Harry actually smiled a little bit at him, albeit shyly, but the moment was broken by a rapping on the window. Severus stood up to let the owl it; it was a showy bird that dropped the letter on the counter before taking off again. He recognized it as one of the Malfoys' owls. He took the letter and opened it.

"What is it, Sev?" Lily asked.

"Narcissa wants to pay a visit tomorrow," Severus was bemused by the letter. The woman had a way that wasn't quite demanding to be seen but wasn't quite asking either. He noticed that Harry was frowning a little bit, his eyes having become a bit unfocused. "What's wrong, Harry?"

"Um, nothing." He pushed his chair away from the table. "Can I be excused?"

"You're finished already?" The boy usually had to be stopped from taking a third serving of his favorite food.

"Yes. I just don't feel good."

"Okay," Severus said and watched him disappear into the living room. He picked up the boy's plate and he and his wife exchanged a look.

Harry managed to make it to his room before he had a total meltdown. He leaned back against the door and sunk down to the floor. He was gasping for breath and shaking violently. It had all come rushing back to him at the mention of Narcissa Malfoy's name. A trigger had moved the floodgate and all the events of that night in the woods came rushing back. Worse was the fact that it wasn't like remembering what he ate for breakfast; it was like it was happening to him all over again. He experienced the terror he had felt and his skin prickled with the memory of the pain of the curse. Harry felt the betrayal and confusion of being hurt by someone who he, to some extent, trusted.

He didn't know how long it was until he began to calm down enough to be aware of his surroundings. He was alone in his bedroom which was thankfully not dark because he had left the lamp on earlier. More than anything, he wanted to run back downstairs and tell them what he had remembered. He wanted his mum to comfort him. Hell, he was so distraught that he would settle for Snape telling him it was okay. Something stopped him from returning to the downstairs, however. It had been a good night. Had it been his imagination or had they actually been getting along? Would Snape be mad that Harry accused his friend of hurting him? Would he even believe him? And what about Professor Quirrel? Surely the memory was in some way distorted because Headmaster Dumbledore would never hire someone who wished harm to his students.

There was no way he could deal with Snape calling him a liar. It was destroy the little bit of progress they had made. Snape might even hate him more than ever. Besides, Lucius was dead. It was not like they could arrest him for what he had done. It would just be causing strife for no reason. His mum used to tell him when he was younger not to go looking for problems where there were none. He could handle this by himself.

Harry stood up and made his way over to his bed and crawled under the covers, wrapping them tightly around himself. He couldn't understand why Mr. Malfoy would want to hurt him. In a bizarre way, it hurt his feelings. He wondered if Mrs. Malfoy knew that her husband had hurt him. Did Draco? Were they laughing at him? Did they think that he was pathetic? He shuddered and burrowed deeper into the bed.

The one good thing not remembering the events of that night had provided him with was the ability to sleep peacefully through the night. Aside from the night of the attack, he had found sleep to be a refuge from the anxiety of waking hours. This no longer seemed to be the case, however, and whenever he closed his eyes he was plagued by nightmares. He was relieved when the sun began coming up and he didn't have to lie in bed any longer being plagued by his memories of being tortured by someone who had once been a family friend.

By morning, he already had come up with a plan. So he waited in his room until he heard the shower turn on in his mum's and Severus' room followed by light footsteps down the stairs. That would be his mum getting up for the day, then. It wasn't long before a heavier set of footsteps followed which he identified to be Snape. Quiet as a mouse, he got out of bed and opened his door very slowly. He looked down the steps and down the hallway which told him the coast was clear. He could hear his mum and Snape moving around in the kitchen. Stepping lightly, he made his way quickly down the hallway to their room.
When he was little, they had kept the door to their room locked but they didn't bother so much anymore. He was aware he was risking the peace in the household by doing this but he was doing it to try to preserve the peace of the household. He made his way into their bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. He knew Snape kept a supply on hand because he himself had nightmares; he'd heard him talking about it with his mum before. After a little rummaging, he found a vial of Dreamless Sleep potion. Perfect. This was all he needed to be able to manage the memory of that night and keep everything from getting torn apart. He knew that the vial was an adult dose. He wasn't really sure what the child sized dose was but he figured he would just take half of the vial and see if it helped.

Quickly, he retraced his steps to his room and hid the vial in his dresser. He let out a little sigh of relief and then went down to breakfast.

SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

Lily sipped on her tea and watched her son pushing his pancakes - which he had pulverized with his fork - around his plate. He had dark circles around his eyes under his glasses. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Severus watching him as well. They exchanged a look. Severus wordlessly went a picked up the boy's plate, apparently deciding that Harry had played with his food long enough. Harry didn't protest but simply sat down his fork and stifled a yawn.

"Having trouble sleeping, sweetie?" Lily asked.

Harry smiled at her, though it seemed forced and said, "No. I'm sleeping fine. Snape, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the park today."

Severus raised an eyebrow. The child had spoken with forced casualness but was avoiding eye contact with either of them. Lily hitched her chin at her husband and he cleared his throat, "Well, Narcissa and Draco are going to be here soon, but after that I don't see why not. Are you sure you're feeling up to leaving the house for that long?"

"Yeah," Harry said, "I'll be fine."

There was a knock on the front door and Lily stood up to let them in. She noticed her son tense up and put a hand on his shoulder, "Harry, it's just Narcissa and Draco. You knew they were coming."

It didn't seem to serve much to relax him, however, and he muttered something about needing to use the bathroom. She shook her head and opened the front door to reveal Narcissa and Draco. The woman looked very couth, as usual; Draco was looking a little more sullen than normal. Narcissa smiled brightly at her hostess. She was a far cry from the woman she had seen sobbing secretly over a sink only a few days previously.

"Hello Narcissa," Lily said politely. She offered a genuine smile to the little boy, "Draco. Are you doing okay?"

She moved aside to let them into the house and said to Narcissa, "I'll just leave you and Severus to visit. Should I take Draco to the kitchen? Maybe he'd like a hot chocolate?"

"Actually, Lily," Narcissa said. "I was hoping that you and I could talk. I thought we could go for tea - bit early for lunch, isn't it? - and I'm sure Severus is more than capable of watching the boys for an hour or two. Right, Severus?"

Lily was startled. She had always been very polite to both Narcissa and Lucius out of respect for Severus. They had an agreement that Lily would be nice to his friends and he would be nice to hers. Well, civil. Usually. She didn't particularly care for Narcissa, though. She disapproved of what Severus would call her 'lifestyle.' The woman was known to be unfaithful to her husband and while Lily sometimes joked about it to Severus - 'If I was married to Lucius, I think I might sleep around too' - she thought it would be extremely detrimental to her son once he became aware of what was going on.

She looked uncertainly at Severus who shrugged absently and then said, "Okay. It couldn't hurt, I suppose. Let me get a jacket."

They apparated to Diagon Alley where Narcissa led Lily to a small restaurant that she insisted served 'the best afternoon tea.' The two women got settled in front of their drinks and Narcissa smiled at Lily, "Well, this is nice."

"Yes," Lily said automatically.

Narcissa smiled and said, "Lionel invited me to visit him in Italy. He keeps a second home there where he spends a lot of the year."

Lily frowned, confused, "Who's Lionel?"

"My friend," her eyes grew slightly guarded.

"Oh, right." Lily said simply.

"Well, I might be spending quite a bit of time there. He's quite a close friend of mine. This winter for certain. He throws a grand party every winter. All of the major families attend." Narcissa rattled off some of the names of people who apparently attended this event, most of the names lost on Lily. She seemed to eventually realize this and said, "Anyway, I plan to attend and I was thinking that maybe you and Severus could take Draco for me for the winter break. I could have him stay at the school, of course, but that's so dreary . . ."

"Um, I guess," Lily said, "Are you sure that it's a good idea for you to leave him with us so soon after his father's death, though?"

"Oh, he just adores you and Severus," Narcissa said. She smiled and took a sip of her tea before adding, "I also thought that maybe you could look after him for part of the summer for me."

Lily frowned openly at her now, "Narcissa, Severus and I care about Draco, of course, but I don't think you're being rational. What about what we talked about at the wake? You have to be strong. Not run away from your problems."

"I'm not running away from my problems," she snapped.

"You have responsibilities."

"Lily, my entire life has been about responsibilities so don't talk to me about responsibilities. I married Lucius when I was seventeen, directly out of Hogwarts, and I doubt I would have finished there if educated women weren't very much the thing then."

Lily wasn't unsympathetic; Severus had told her a few 'facts' from the pureblood world that had very much offended her sensibilities. As recently as ten years ago, pureblood women's value had hinged strictly on their ability to bear a son to carry on their husband's family name. The mentality wasn't entirely gone today. Still, Lily wasn't particularly moved, "Narcissa, when you have a child, they are your responsibility no matter how they came about."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, I'm not even asking you to take him for the whole summer. Is it money? I could write a check for you two to look after him."

Lily was offended, "No, it's not about money, Narcissa. It's about you needing to be there for your son when he has experienced a grievous loss."

Narcissa sneered, an ugly expression on a pretty face, "You. Are. One. To. Talk."

Lily's eyes narrowed, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, your first concern wasn't exactly honoring your husband's memory, was it?" Lily gave her a look that could have rivaled her current husband's feared glares, "I mean, clearly you've never been selfish, right? You've never put your son's happiness at risk."

Lily didn't trust herself to speak. She didn't know what might come out of her mouth. Instead, she dropped a galleon on the table to cover her tea and put her coat on. She then walked out the door. It had been her intention to go home but she was absolutely seething. She decided to walk up and down the Alley a few times to try to calm herself before returning to the house. She didn't want Draco to see how upset she was and Merlin forbid she should take out her anger at his mother on the child.

SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

"Draco, do you want to go to the park with me and Harry?"

"Yeah, I guess," said the blonde, sitting down at the kitchen table.

Severus nodded and went to find Harry. He knocked on the bathroom door but Harry apparently wasn't there. He went to his bedroom and nocked there. A few seconds later, it cracked open and a pair of green eyes peeked out at him. When he saw it was Severus, he opened the door a little wider, "Are they gone?"

"Narcissa went to tea with your mum. Draco is downstairs. Did you still want to go to the park?"

The boy looked torn, "Does he have to come?"

"I thought you and Draco were getting along a little better since school started."

Harry said, "We were, but . . ."

"But what?"

"Never mind," Harry sighed, "He can come."

Harry shut his bedroom door behind him and followed Severus down the stairs to the dining room where Draco was waiting. Draco greeted him, "Hey, Harry."

The other boy muttered something in response, avoiding looking at the blonde. Severus took both boys by the shoulder and apparated the three of them to the park. Highland Glades was a park frequented by witches and wizards with young children. Severus and Lily had taken Harry here a lot when he was little. There were long winding trails with grass that changed colors much to the delight of the children who played there. It was warded with a befuddlement charm to keep away Muggles as well as undesirable magical beasts. Severus figured the boys could walk and he could find an inconspicuous bench somewhere.

Severus found the park fairly full of people so it was rather difficult to find somewhere out of the way to sit. He ended up sitting next to an old woman who was watching two little girls play and holding a baby. She winked at him and he sighed, wondering if any adult actually enjoyed this kind of stuff. He had sent Draco and Harry off on a visible trail with instructions to stop where the trees got thicker and it would be difficult for Severus to see them.

SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

Harry walked quietly beside Draco, wishing he could just be at home. He was sweating on the unusually warm autumn day and he didn't like how many people there were at the park. And he didn't like walking along side Draco who he had never quite realized bore such a striking resemblance to his father. He was aware Draco was talking to him but he wasn't really paying attention. Eventually, Draco became aware of this fact and put a hand on his arm to get his attention.

Harry jerked violently and snapped, "Don't touch me."

A multitude of emotions flickered across Draco's face; hurt, confusion, worry, and anger. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Harry said sharply, "I just don't feel like being grabbed at."

"Whatever," Draco muttered, going to walk ahead of Harry.

Harry sighed; he knew he must look like such a freak to Draco acting like that. He felt very alone all of a sudden. Stuck with his secret that he couldn't tell anyone. Suddenly struck by the need to confide, he said, "Wait, Draco. Look, if I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I won't tell anyone," said Draco, curious.

"I . . . well, I remember about that day. When I was attacked on the way to Hogsmede."

Draco's mouth dropped open, "You have to tell Snape and Lily. Are you crazy? There's some psychopath out there kidnapping people and torturing them!"

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I don't think they'll believe me. They know the person."

"It doesn't matter who it is, Harry. What's wrong is wrong. Who hurt you?"

Harry started walking again and said, "You of all people wouldn't believe me."

"Try me," Draco jogged to catch up.

"Just forget it," Harry said.

Draco glared at him, "Look, I thought we were starting to get along. If you don't want to be friends, just say so. I'm sure you and your Mudblood girlfriend will be very happy together. You are so -."

"Oh, my God. Draco, shut up. It was your father okay?" Harry blurted out, angrily. He was so tired of people being mad at him when he hadn't done anything wrong.

The boys stood staring at each other silently for a moment and then Draco shoved Harry. Hard. Harry stumbled but managed to catch his balance. So, Draco didn't believe him. Of course not. He and Snape would probably have a good laugh about the stupid Harry Potter who was trying to make up a story to get out of therapy and get all the attention for himself. Draco's face had turned an unpleasant pink, "Take it back. Take it back now, Potter."

HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS

Severus prided himself in being pretty good at sensing that trouble was coming. As head of the Slytherin house, he was skilled and knowing when there was plotting going on. He could predict what most of his students would do before they did it. It was largely believed by his student body that he could read their minds, but the fact was that Severus did not need to employ Legilimency to know what the Slytherin children were thinking.

However, when he heard yelling break out down the path, the last thing he expected to see was his godson and stepson both suspended in midair by a frazzled looking middle aged woman. Severus was shocked. Of course, fighting was against the rules in the Snape household, but it had rarely been one that they had needed to enforce. Harry simply wasn't given to getting into fights. It was equally surprising that Draco had gotten into a physical confrontation because while the boy could be petty - downright mean, if Severus was being honest - he usually went about getting his revenge in a sneakier manner as his size did not give to actually physical harassment.

"Do they belong to you?" Asked the frazzled looking witch, obviously annoyed that these unruly children were interrupting her nice day out with her family.

Severus ignored her and instead addressed the boys, "This nice lady is going to put the two of you down. If either of you so much as looks in the other one's direction, that person will be one sorry little boy."

The witch lowered the two children, both who were breathing heavily. Snape began to march them away from the crowd where they could apparate home when Draco decided it was a good day to test his godfather's limits. He gave Harry a little shove; not particularly hard, but hard enough to make the boy stumble. Severus had had enough.

"Draconis Abraxius Malfoy!"

The boy blanched at the use of his full name and Severus grabbed him by the arm and proceeded to march him to the public bathrooms that were located by the entrance to the park with Harry in tow. Draco protested, trying to pull away, "I didn't even push him that hard."

"What did I say, Draco? I said it was enough. You don't know when to stop."

Severus pointed to a bench near the bathroom and snapped at Harry, "Sit. Don't move a muscle."

One firm spanking later - during which Draco protested loudly enough that Snape thought he was rather lucky that no one called the authorities - Severus reemerged from the bathroom to find the bench he had told his stepson to occupy was empty. He scowled; one very simple instruction. Draco burst out of the bathroom behind him and said, "I'm going to tell Mother! I didn't even do anything. He started it!"

"I'll gladly find you the owl to send her the message," Snape snapped, though he was distracted. It was very unusual for Harry to hide from him, even if he was in trouble. Even the time that he had destroyed nearly half of Severus' potions supplies, he had met him at the front door informing him that he'd 'done something bad.'
The same frazzled looking witch said, "You're looking for the other boy? He took off that way at a full run."

"You didn't stop him?" Severus snapped.

The woman glared at him, as if to ask when his problem had become hers, "Like I said, he took off running."
Severus cursed and took off in the general direction that the woman had indicated, dragging the blonde child behind him.

Severus couldn't help but wonder why this kept happening to him. This was the second time in as many weeks that the boy had run off on him. Holding Draco by the collar of his shirt - the last thing he needed was to lose them both - he half walked and half jogged in the direction the witch had indicated. As he got closer, he saw that someone was holding Harry by the shoulders. His hand moved instinctively towards his wand but several strides later he recognized the figure to be Sirius Black.

He'd never been happier to see the mangy mutt in his entire life.

Sirius, however, didn't look particularly happy to see him. He touched the child's face where a rather ugly bruise was forming. Clearly, Draco had won this particular fight. The other man's eyes were narrowed at Severus himself, however, and he asked, "What the hell is going on, Snape?"

Severus put together the accusation and snapped, rather insulted, "Oh, please spare me your accusing looks. These two idiots got into a fistfight and then this one ran off when I was dealing with Draco."

Sirius sighed and put his arm around Harry, gently scolding, "You can't run off, Harry. You of all people know that it's not safe. What did you get in a fight about? That's not at all like you."

Harry was silent, looking down at his feet, and Draco was silent, glaring at Harry. Severus said to break the tension lest the boys try to kill each other again, "What are you doing here, anyway, Black?"

"I'm here with Vanessa," he said, his arm still slung casually over the shoulders of his godson.

Severus frowned, "Who's Vanessa?"

"My lady friend."

"Ah," Severus said simply. He didn't keep up with the other man's 'lady friends.' He wasn't sure that Black even could keep them all straight. Severus glanced over at the abandoned 'Vanessa' who didn't look very happy.

"Hey, kiddo, do you want to come home with me for a little while?" Sirius asked Harry.

Harry nodded, then shook his head, and then shrugged. Severus wondered how one child could be so complicated. Severus interjected, "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I think I'll just take him home."

"Come on, Snape," Sirius said, "It'll give him some time to cool off while you take Draco home since clearly this outing is over."

After a moment of thought, Severus reluctantly nodded. It was a sensible solution. Sirius steered Harry over to Vanessa, apparently to tell her what was going on. Severus watched them go and Severus felt a pang of . . . something. He knew for a fact that he and Harry would never be like that no matter how much they worked at their relationship. He shook his head as if to rid himself of the thought and apparated with Draco back to his house.

Narcissa was sitting at the kitchen table with Lily nowhere in sight. As they entered, she was pushing back the sleeve of her robe to look at a silver wristwatch which Severus had no doubt was the real thing. She looked up as they entered and frowned at her son's disheveled appearance. Severus said, by way of explanation, "The boys got into a fight. Draco has not been so kind as to give the reason for attempting to pummel my stepson."

She didn't seem particularly concerned and said rather breezily, "Well, boys will be boys."

Severus hated that particular phrase which he heard a lot from pureblood families trying to excuse the bad behavior of their sons. Personally, he felt that Draco deserved better than to have the expectations for him continually lowered. Not wanting to get into it with Narcissa, however, he didn't say anything.

Hearing his voice, Lily had appeared again from upstairs. She stood in the doorway to the kitchen and said, "Aren't you missing one?"

"He's with Sirius. I'm going to go fetch him right now. The boys got into a bit of a fight and it seemed prudent to separate them."

Narcissa cut in, saying, "We really must be going. Lily, just think about what I said."

With that she stood up and grasped her son's hand and they diapparated. Severus asked Lily, "What was that all about?"

Lily shook her head and said, "We'll talk about it later. Do you want to go get Harry? Was he alright?"

"Yes, he was fine. A bit of a bruise but other than that he seemed like he just needed a little air. I'll be back soon."

Severus apparated around the corner from Sirius' building and walked the block to get there. He pushed the buzzer next to the door. The door instantly clicked, indicating that it was open, and Severus supposed that they must have been waiting for him. He took the elevator up to Sirius' floor and found the door already cracked open. He entered the flat and Sirius waved him into the kitchen. He sighed, craning his head to see where Harry was, and reluctantly followed the other man. While they had come a long way toward having something of an understanding, the peace was largely dependent on limited interaction other than when it was necessary for Harry's wellbeing.

When they were both in the kitchen, Sirius said, "Well, did Draco tell you what the fight was about?"

"No," Severus said, "He wasn't speaking to me. He gets like that when he's punished. Why? Did Harry fill you in on the details?"

"Yes," Sirius was silent for a moment and then said, "He remembers who attacked him."

"Just now?" Severus asked, frowning.

"No, last night."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he tell us?"

"He was under the impression you wouldn't believe him."

"That's ridiculous. Of course I would believe him."

"Apparently it was your good buddy Lucius."

Honestly, this statement did require Severus to suspend his disbelief. It didn't make sense that the man would hurt Harry. While there was certainly distance between Lily and the Malfoys, they had always been quite courteous to Harry. The child would not have any reason to lie, though. So much for the trust that Rebecca was hoping to build between them.

"Where is he?"

Sirius said, "In the living room. Snape? He really needs you to be supportive about this."

Severus walked into the living room where he found the boy sitting in one of the armchairs. He looked up when his stepfather entered and said, "Did Sirius tell you?"

"Yes . . ."

"I'm really sorry that it was your friend," Harry said with unnerving sincerity. It was such an outrageous statement that Severus would have laughed had the situation not been so serious. Did the child really think he would blame him for something that was so utterly beyond his control? Did Severus really take his side that rarely?

"Harry, if still alive, I assure you that he would no longer be my friend. I am sorry that I put you in danger by allowing him to be near you." Harry just looked away and Severus wondered if he should pat the boy's arm or something. Instead, he said, "We should go back home before you mother gets worried. I want to put some salve on that bruise, too. Does it hurt?"

Harry shrugged, "Not much."

Severus helped Harry up and nodded to Sirius who had apparently been watching the exchange with a rather unreadable expression. They apparated to the house where they found Lily picking up in the living room. She looked up when she heard the pop and smiled, "You both are so messy. Sev, you're getting nearly as bad as Harry."
Neither of them smiled back at her and her own smile fell, "What's wrong?"

Severus said as lightly as possible, "I need to talk to you."

He climbed the stairs and Lily followed him. When they were in the bedroom, she said, "Severus, what's wrong? You're worrying me."

"Harry remembered who attacked him on the path to Hogsmede. It was Lucius Malfoy. He hadn't said anything because he thought I wouldn't believe him which is . . . definitely something I think we'll have to discuss with Rebecca," he said bluntly.

Lily stared at him and then looked away. She sat down on the bed and shook her head at him, "Do you know what's funny? I was never afraid of you. Even when you were a deatheater with this horrible reputation and people said you had done all of these despicable things. I just had it in my mind that you would never hurt me. The thing I forgot was that when we were friends at Hogwarts you frequently hurt me; every single time you chose Slytherins and a misguided search for power over me and our friendship."

Severus opened his mouth to protest - because he felt that it was rather low to bring up his days as a deatheaters which she knew was a low blow and something he was sensitive about to this day - but she cut him off, "Let me finish. And it seems that since I let you get close to me again, you continue to hurt me and worse to hurt my son or at very least put him in harm's way because you can't bear to cut ties with your past."

"Well, I am sorry that I haven't provided you with the perfect marriage you had with James," Severus said hotly.

"It wasn't perfect, Severus, but at least I felt like we were always on the same side! At least I could trust that he had our best interests at heart."

Lily might have slapped him straight across the face for the effect that her words had. He said sharply, "You know, I never asked for this responsibility. I never asked to be charged with taking care of you and your son."

"You did, though," Lily was raising her voice now, "You might not have known what you were getting yourself into, but the moment you strolled into my hospital room the night after my life was turned upside down with my child in your arms who you had apparently taken care of for the night, you asked to get involved!"

"Well, believe me; I had no idea what a burden it would end up being!" Severus regretted the words the minute they left his mouth. He hoped he had not spoken loudly enough that Harry might have heard. He was ashamed that he had let himself react so badly but the mention of the later Potter senior still had the ability to put him on edge. Lily looked stunned, but not for long.

"I think," she said slowly, "that maybe you should go back to work. I'm not working right now so I'm more than capable of taking care of Harry myself. I need some time to think and I can't really do that with you here."

"That's what you want?"

"That's what I want."

"Fine."

Severus left the bedroom, slamming the door behind him and walked down the steps. He planned to make a quick getaway but was stopped by a voice from the living room, "Snape?"

He sighed with defeat and considered keeping going but he had recently came to the conclusion that he should try to be nicer to Harry because it was the right thing to do and not because he was trying to please his wife. He said, "What is it, Harry?"

"You and Mum are fighting?"

"We had an argument," he confirmed.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to Hogwarts. I'm horribly behind anyway and I know Minerva must be exhausted dealing with two houses. It's probably for the best."

Harry sighed and drew his feet up to his chest. Severus wondered again if the boy had heard what he had said. The child simply said, however, "There was another part of my memory but I don't think it could be right. I think the memory must be distorted somehow."

"What else did you remember?"

"Um, it seems like in my memory that Professor Quirrel was there. But that can't be," Harry looked at him for confirmation.

Well, the boy was just full of surprises. Severus told him, "I'll look into it."

SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

Like promised, Severus immediately met with the headmaster who warmly welcomed him back until he saw how serious the potions master was. He expressed his concerns about the fact that Harry believed Quirrel was involved in the attack. Dumbledore was a bit skeptical and didn't want to confront one of his teachers with such an accusation unless they were sure. Severus was adamant that they should take Harry's claim very seriously. Never on their side, indeed, he thought bitterly.

Eventually, the headmaster agreed to go speak with Quirrel and asked Severus if he would like to come along. Severus declined and suggested that perhaps he should take Minerva. He felt a tiny bit bad that he kept piling responsibilities on the woman but he was so tired. He gratefully escaped to his chambers where he pulled a potion he had created in his deatheater days that was basically a fusion of a sleeping potion and the dreamless sleep potion. Very potent and powerful and it almost guaranteed a good night's sleep though the next day was usually quite hazy. He had relied on them heavily back then.

He took it and went to lie down. Staring up at the ceiling and waiting for the potion to kick in and knock him out, he couldn't help but think about his situation. In a way, Lily was right. Severus had hurt both of them by the sheer fact that he himself wasn't good at having healthy relationships with people. Maybe he was just one of those people who was meant to be alone. Maybe he was being selfish in pursuing these relationships. All those years that Lily could have been trying to find someone who was actually capable of making her happy and loving her son.

That was his last thought before he fell asleep.

SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

When Severus woke up, he felt someone lying next to him. He sat up too quickly, causing him to get dizzy from the aftereffects of his potion. It was Lily; fully dressed and curled up on his bed. It seemed improbable and he wondered if maybe he had wrongly estimated the dosage of that potion and was now suffering from hallucinations. He reached over and touched her shoulder which was quite solid and at the touch she opened her eyes groggily and looked up at him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, "Where's Harry?"

"Sirius came to get him late in the afternoon so that they could go catch a movie. I told him that was fine as long as it was nothing violent or scary. Then Dumbledore came to get me so we could talk and I told Sirius just to keep him tonight." They were both silent for a moment and then Lily added, "I tried to come get you but you were really out. What did you take?"

"Just something to help me sleep."

"Sev," she said softly, "I'm really sorry about everything I said."

Severus changed the subject, "What happened with Quirrel? What did Dumbledore have to say?"

Lily shifted in the bed to face him more fully, "Well . . . Quirrel apparently was involved in the attack. It was discovered that he has been working with You-Know-Who."
Severus blinked, "You-Know-Who is dead."

Lily looked so tired, "Dumbledore said he has a few theories but he didn't want to share them quite yet. He said that You-Know-Who actually attached himself to Quirrel. Minerva especially looked very shaken. They have him in containment. A very powerfully warded cell. It seems that You-Know-Who's magic is weak and he's mostly been fueling himself off of Quirrel."

Severus was horrified by the prospect that the man - no that creature - could still exist in any manner. He said, "Surely they mean to destroy him."

Lily sighed, "You would think so. Dumbledore is concerned, however, that since killing him didn't work the first time, that it might be ineffective the second time. And if he found another way to come back, he would not be so careless and we might not know until too late. Worse, he thinks that Harry somehow has something to do with it. A prophecy he told me about that said somehow Harry is supposed to be the match of You-Know-Who. Which is ridiculous because Harry is a little boy."

This was a lot in information to take in and Severus closed his eyes as he tried to think. Lily, apparently thinking he might have fallen asleep, prompted, "Severus?"

Tiredly, he said, "What do you want from me, Lily?"

He could practically see her pursing her lips in disapproval even with his eyes closed. She said, "I want - Severus, look at me - I don't want Harry involved with any of this which I informed Dumbledore of. Whatever some prophecy says, he will have a normal childhood. Even if I have to take him away from here. I gave Dumbledore fair warning that if he so much as mentions any of this to him that I will pull him out of Hogwarts so fast it will make his head spin. I don't believe this family owes the wizarding world anything else. I want you to say that you're on the same page as me. And if Dumbledore asks you to do any work for him outside of teaching that you'll say no."

A beat of silence and Severus said evasively, "Dumbledore has done a lot for me."

"Right," Lily said pointedly, "but he's not your family."

"Are we back to being a family now? I thought you needed time to think. I thought I couldn't be trusted."

"We had an argument, Sev. We never stopped being family. And I said I was sorry."

"I've been thinking Lily. I don't think some time apart would be a terrible idea. Things have been going on like this for a while. I've just realized how many problems we really have."

"So your solution to run away?" He eyes flashed in the dim light of the room.

"My solution is to give both of us a chance to breathe and think about what we really want."

"Fine," she said icily, standing up out of the bed, "Take all the time you need, Severus. While, I'm sure, that we're just supposed to wait until you make up your mind whether you want us or not."

SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP

Severus had been teaching for about a week and a half. He was playing major catch up to figure out where Minerva had gotten in the lesson plan and finishing grading the work that had been done lately. It was a relief to be so busy and not have to dwell on his domestic problems. He had just enough time to think about it, however, to put him in a particularly foul mood. This week alone he had made no less than five students cry, two of them from his own house.

It was a Monday and he was grading sixth year essays while simultaneously trying to go over his lesson plan for today's first year class. The door to the classroom opened and he looked up to give them a particularly vicious scowl. His expression changed entirely when he saw that it was Harry, wearing his school uniform and carrying an armful of books.

"You're back," Severus said, slightly stunned.

"Yeah. Rebecca said that it was about time and besides, Professor McGonagall said that if I missed much more I stood a good chance of being held back a year."

"Your mother didn't write me and tell me you'd be coming back. You think someone might have told me considering I'm your head of house," he said a bit angrily. Though he supposed Dumbledore had assumed that Lily would have told him. Then, to Harry, he said, "You're fifteen minutes early for class."

"I know," Harry said, looking slightly awkward. "I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Well, er, I just wanted to say that if you and Mum made up and things went back to normal, I would be really good." Harry looked at him furtively for a reaction. "I mean, I would follow all of your rules. Even the ones that I think are stupid. I wouldn't even argue with you."

This was all said in a rush and he hated the hopeful look the child was giving him. Severus sighed and ran a hand over his face, "Harry, it's not about that. It's not about you."

"Right," Harry said, apparently unconvinced, "I just wanted you to know that anyway."