Harry closed his one eye so he could aim the gun and took a breath but he couldn’t make himself shoot it. He breathed loudly; leave it to Snape to mess up everything.

“Fuck you Snape!” He yelled turning around and shooting at the desk to the left of his teacher and Draco. Thankfully no one else was near them and the bullet harmlessly hit the desk, though everyone flinched anyways.

“If that’s the way you feel Harry, though I never took you as the guy who liked blokes, “Severus said dryly and without humor as he opened his eye to look at Harry.

He could hear Draco’s ragged breathing behind him, and he longed to turn around and see how his Slytherin was doing but that would be suicidal; quite literally.

“Give me the gun Harry,” he said holding it hand out, palm face up.

“No, you can’t have it.” Harry replied shaking his head and backing up.

“You’re not going to shoot anyone else,” Severus said gently, though firmly.

He had no doubt that had he not told Harry of his mother, nor helped him the boy wouldn’t have a problem going through him so to speak. He couldn’t have ended up just like Umbridge shot and bleeding on the floor.

Speaking of which, he didn’t even know how she was now and at the moment he couldn’t check on her. Harry was still holding the gun and was mockingly pointing it at his housemates. Severus wasn’t surprised to note that when Harry cocked the gun Thomas broke down and sobbed while Finnegan’s black trousers glistened with wetness. He couldn’t blame either of them; Draco had done the same thing as Finnegan. He was interrupted from his musings by Weasely who suddenly yelled.

“Harry, don’t you fucking dare!” Ron yelled and the class quickly turned from Snape to the Gryffindor.

Harry startled as he looked at Ron, he was in the process of placing the gun underneath his neck by his chin. With morbid curiosity he wondered how it would feel to have all his teeth shattered at one time before he blew his brains up. He had read somewhere that the human head would be alive for 8 seconds after death, when it was decapitated. Would it be the same if he blew his head off? He locked gazes with Ron’s and shook his head. He could see fear and shock, and disbelief all prominent in his features.

“I have to do this Ron,” Harry replied softly.

“Why do you have to do this though?” Ron asked quietly, his voice pleading.

“Because it’s the only way I can be free,” Harry answered voice raw with sadness.

Harry turned away from his friend, not even looking at Hermione. He looked back at Draco, who wondering when he had fallen to the floor. The boy was quietly sobbing or so it looked liked. When did Neville get over here? Why was he helping the Slytherin? Wasn’t he helping Umbridge? Harry bit the inside of his lip; he had forgotten about her.

He wondered if she was alive before slowly walking towards the front of the classroom until he was standing over Umbridge. He could see the fear in her eyes, how she was still alive was anyone’s guess. He wondered if her magic was keeping her alive, well it wouldn’t last for long.

“Bet you wish now that you hadn’t made me carve lines into my hand. I must not tell lies remember Professor? Since I must be truthful, I want you to know that I’m going to kill you, right here and now. And you want to know the good thing about it; I’m going to get away with it.” Harry said in a dangerous voice.

He held the gun in front of him directly at her. He heard her give off a gurgled scream, but no one in the classroom came to her aid. Harry figured they were either all afraid of what he might do to them, or they all secretly wanted her to die too.

“Harry don’t do it, she’s going to die anyways,” Severus said tiredly from where he was slumped on the wall.

When Harry had said that he had come mere inches from being one of his victims, Severus had quickly gone through every memory he had of the child and he could see himself being much too cruel to the young child. A boy who was just eager to learn about magic and he had ridiculed him and made Harry feel worthless. It felt like he was looking on the outside in, how could he do that to this child? How could he hold a grudge so?

The sad part was that when he was punishing Harry, he didn’t see it that. All he thought about was take that James Potter, never mind that the boy didn’t even know his father. He punished him whenever he got the chance which was often. It was only that small act of kindness today that had saved him, Severus had no doubt that had he not examined the memories more closely he would have been laid out right next to Umbridge, and Draco would have been dead.

“How do you know that?” Harry asked softly.

“My blood replenishing potions are nearly out of stock, and I can’t close her wound. We both know the castle isn’t going to open the door anytime soon.” Severus replied quietly.

“You have a point Professor; to shoot her now would be giving her a quick death. I did want her to suffer,” Harry said nodding before accidently on purpose stepping on her hand. He was rewarded with a gurgled groan and he smiled a sadist smile.

Harry walked towards his teacher’s desk in the front of the classroom and sat down. As he stared at the silver handgun, he suddenly felt apprehensive, what was he waiting for? This was his moment, what he had been looking forward to all year. Why couldn’t he end it? As he contemplated his thoughts he was aware of 2 eyes that stayed on his constantly. He knew who it was before he looked up into her sad brown eyes.

“Hermione, don’t look,” Harry said softly, not wanting to curse her with the gift of seeing thestrals.

“Then don’t do it Harry, like Malfoy said this isn’t you. The Harry I know would never be this selfish,” she said tearfully.

Harry’s eyes hardened like ice the minute she finished, and the temperature in the classroom when down a few notches. He watched his friend for a moment, and stared into her now terrified brown eyes and spoke.

“The Harry you know is a fraud; he shows you what you want to see in him. The real Harry is angry and afraid, and he hates life. He hates how his entire life has been incredibly fucked up. How no one has given a damn about who he was inside. They only saw what they wanted to see. It’s a wonder he hadn’t snapped before today. This is the real me; deal with it.” He said mockingly before picking up the gun again.

He could see his speech had affected his peers but he couldn’t be bothered by them anymore. He was growing tired of looking at their faces; he didn’t want to feel guilty. If they looked at it his way, they would all be better off.

Harry exhaled once and placed the gun underneath his chin again, wondering what the best way to do it. He sighed there wasn’t anyone he could ask now could he? He gave the classroom one more glance around; before he cocked the gun again, the sound echoing around the classroom. All eyes turned to him and his face lit up into a vindictive smile. A morbid part of him wanted to know how it felt and he moved the gun to his chest instead.

“If you don’t want to be cursed with the sight of seeing thestrals, I would advise you to look away,” was all he said before he closed his eyes.

Severus who had been fairly quiet up until that moment suddenly jumped out and glared at the child with angry dark eyes.

“Don’t you dare waste Lily’s sacrifice Harry James Potter,” He said chest heaving in anger.

“I can do whatever the hell I want to Snape, I never asked her to die for me.” Harry replied crossly.

“She did it because she loved you, she wanted her son to grow up and live his life. You’re dishonoring her by taking it away by your own hands,” Severus answered.

“Oh am I? Then maybe I should just wait for Voldemort and let him take me. No you wanna know what I think; I think mum would understand, if she was here. I think she would want me to be happy, “Harry answered haughtily.

“She wouldn’t want you to kill yourself Harry, I knew Lily.” Severus whispered.

“I wouldn’t know, because I didn’t.” He replied in a dead voice.

“Think about your dog-godfather, how is the mutt going to feel?” Severus asked grasping on straws.

“He survived the first round, Padfoot will be ok. He’s got Moony this time anyways,” Harry said in the same flat voice.

“Albus would miss you terribly…,” Severus started but was interrupted.

“I don’t think so, Dumbledore means nothing to me. He doesn’t care, I’m nothing but a tool, I think I’ve known for a while.” Harry replied rubbing a hand tiredly through his hair.

“You’re more than just a tool to Albus,” Severus replied.

“I’m tired Professor, I just wanna sleep,” Harry said softly with the shake of his head.

“Harry don’t do this, you’re more than just a tool to me as well.” Severus admitted with a sigh.

“Don’t say things, you know you don’t mean.” Harry said wearily.

“I meant every word Harry Potter; I don’t want you to do this.” Severus said as he crept forward, wondering if he could launch and take the gun away from the child himself.

“Well it’s too late Professor,” Harry said softly before turning his tortured gaze to the blonde who was silently crying on the floor.

“Hey Draco, this was for meant for you.” He said green eyes piercing silver eyes.

Harry closed his eyes he could hear his teacher trying to summon the gun before he tried to stun him but Harry’s enchantments held strong. He took one more deep breath and imagined himself flying through the air. The room around him disappeared, the fear and horror was gone in an instant. Harry smiled as he lost himself; he wanted to feel like this all the time and he would soon.

“I’m so sorry mummy,” he whispered tearfully before he pulled the trigger.

“Harry NO!” Severus yelled though it was too late.

The gunshot echoed around the classroom, only this time to everyone there it seemed like it was the loudest in comparisons to the other too. The gun clattered to the floor as did Harry’s body, and he hit the floor with a thud. Everyone was silent, but each face was stuck on different emotions that were yet the same on each person. Fear, disbelief, shock, and terror were in every single eye.

Harry stifled the urge to cry out, this was beyond painful. He regretted his curiosity at that moment, wishing he had taken the option of choosing his head. The tears that had filled his eyes overflowed down his face and he waited for the darkness to overtake him. He hoped it wouldn’t be long, this hurt like hell and he was trying his hardest not to make a sound.

Severus ran to Harry immediately, he had taken a vow and he would not let Lily’s child down. He had already killed his mother; he didn’t need to add her son to the list. He was sure that the wizarding world hadn’t dealt with a gunshot wound in a long time; and especially not one this extensive. He held the child in his arms, banishing the gun to his office. Severus’s carefully constructed blank mask started to crumble, as he looked at the pain filled eyes. He took off his robe and pressed it onto Harry’s chest to stop the bleeding.

“Granger, go into my office and get me a pain potion, a mild one now!” Severus said quickly. He wanted to take the edge off the pain, but he knew that if he made it go away, Harry might let death take him. He hoped it wasn’t too late to save the child.

“Professor, don’t be mad,” Harry rasped out.

“Harry don’t try to talk, but I need you to be strong for me. I need you to fight the darkness.” Severus said urgently.

“I don’t want to fight it,” Harry gasped out.

“For me Harry, please fight it,” Severus said as tears slowly fell from his dark eyes and down his face.

“For you,” Harry replied softly as he struggled to catch his breath.

The gurgling sound from Umbridge had finally stopped and no one needed to look at her to know that she was indeed dead. No one said anything at all; the only sound was quiet breathing with the hitching breaths of Draco, who had yet to speak; and Harry's ragged breaths as he tried to breathe. The sudden sound of a bolt sliding was heard and then there was a strong magical presence in the air. The door blasted opened; thankfully the children had the good sense to move away. Severus looked up with tearful eyes and only muttered one word;

“Albus.”