~*~*~*Headmaster’s Office~*~*~*~

“Are you out of your mind Black? Can’t you see he’s falling apart at the seams? What the hell is the matter with you? You honestly cannot be that thick?” Severus said as he turned an incredulous eye towards Sirius.

“I don’t know what to think right now Snivellus so get off my back. I’m sorry that I can’t control myself right now. In case you didn’t realize I spent the last 2 hours crying for a boy that isn’t even dead.” Sirius said hotly.

“But that’s where you’re wrong. Harry Potter is dead,” Albus said quietly.

“No he isn’t, he’s just confused and under a glamour.” Sirius said with a shake of his head.

“He’s not confused, and though you don’t like it Severus did save Harry. Without him, Harry would have died from a bullet wound to the chest.” Albus said carefully, skirting around the comment about the glamour.

“What’s a bullet?” Sirius asked in confusion.

“It’s a muggle weapon, used with a gun and it can be fatal,” Remus explained swiftly.

“So Harry brought one of these things to school to just shoot himself?” Sirius asked in disbelief.

“No, from what I’m told, he originally planned to take out three other people in addition to himself.” Severus said tiredly.

“He wanted to kill others?” Sirius asked in horror.

“Correct, I myself was on the list, as was Draco Malfoy.” Severus explained quietly. He could still remember the terror he had felt when Harry had informed him on how close he had been to being killed. The sad thing about that is that aside from Albus and his snakes, he wasn’t sure anyone else was going to miss him.

“You were on his list?” Remus asked his own tone horrified.

“I was, but a very recent turn of events got me off of it just in time. I had no idea how close I came to death that day,” Severus said his face void of the emotions that were stirring up inside.

“Who was the last person?” Remus asked when it seemed Sirius wasn’t going to say anything else.

“Delores Umbridge,” Albus said quietly.

“Where is she?” Remus inquired.

“Dead,” Severus said in a final tone.

“And was Harry the cause of that or was it natural?” Remus asked as his hand gripped the chair he was sitting.

“Harry did that, and she bled out in front of the entire class. But no one was worried about her, the children also watched Harry shoot himself in the chest. Blood was everywhere, and he was trying to let go, but he didn’t.” Severus said occluding the memories away, now was not the time to let his emotions of that day show.

“Why didn’t he?” he asked.

“Because Severus asked him not too,” Albus said when it seemed like Severus wasn’t going to say anymore.

“See that doesn’t make any sense. Why would Harry listen to Snivellus?” Sirius said tiredly, his own emotions crashing.

“You would have to ask one of them, it’s not my place to answer that.” Albus said tiredly before looking towards the door that Harry had yet to come out of.

“Whatever it is, I thank you Severus,” Remus said gratefully before elbowing Sirius.

“Owww Moony, what was that for?” Sirius asked rubbing his side; oblivious to Remus’s glare.

“Harry’s taking a long a time,” Albus mused to himself, though everyone present heard.

“He’s trying to control his emotions, but I agree he is taking a while. I’ll go check on him.” Severus said getting up and making his way towards the door.

Remus watched Sirius’s face; he seemed to be in a state of shock. He knew how he felt; he was having trouble seeing that Harry had committed murder. If this was really true then he could see how they had to think on their feet and hide him. At the moment, he was also worried about Sirius’s words and how they had affected Harry’s already fragile state of mind.

~*~*~*Bathroom~*~*~*~

Harry was trying to cry as softly as he could, unable to prevent the breakdown. He had spent the last few days holding it off, but it had caught up to him in the wake of his godfather’s disapproval. He wrapped his arms around his stomach in some sort of self hug, trying to provide some comfort. He couldn’t stop the tears, and it was hurting worse to keep them quiet. Pulling his legs up to his chest he buried his head into his knees and sobbed.

Severus was walking down the hall, when he heard the sound of someone crying. He knew it was Harry, only he didn’t think the boy would break that quickly. Harry had been so strong, though he knew it was well overdue. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door, not wanting the boy to be alone during this time.

“Emerson let me in,” Severus said quietly.

“Go ‘way,” Harry choked out.

“I won’t go away; I’ll stand outside the door all day if I have too.” Severus said simply.

“I’m not feeling very well,” Harry said through his tears.

“I know you’re not child,” Severus said tenderly.

“Can’t I just be alone?” Harry asked tearfully.

“Of course, just not at the moment,” Severus answered truthfully.

Harry sniffled before slowly moving away from the door, not wanting to be crushed when Snape decided to come in. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. What would the man think? Would he suddenly decide that Harry was crazy too?

“You can come in now,” Harry whispered quietly his voice thick with tears.

Severus was going to come in anyways but after barely hearing Harry say he could he went in immediately. He found the boy on the floor curled into himself and he closed the door behind him. Severus took a seat on the closed toilet seat and gently placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder ignoring the flinch that earned.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said mournfully.

“What are you apologizing for?” Severus asked gently.

“Everything,” Harry said as he wept.

Severus rubbed his back trying to give comfort; he wasn’t good at giving it because the only time he had received it was from his own mother and Lily. And they had both been gone a long time, the occasional hug from Albus and Minerva couldn’t really count. Harry didn’t seem to mind it, but then again that could have been because the child had barely received any in his own childhood.

 Severus frowned, as his comfort didn’t seem to be making any difference and he was starting to feel inadequate not to mention on how the boy was feeling. Speaking of which, he was talking to him in between his cries, and he leaned down to hear him better.

“Make it stop,” Harry whimpered out, his face buried in his Professor’s leg.

“Make what stop Emerson?” Severus asked softly.

“The pain, make it go away. I don’t want it anymore,” Harry replied tearfully.

Severus felt a piece of his heart break wishing he could rid Harry from the pain of it all, but knowing he couldn’t. He was cursing the fact that he didn’t have a single calming draught in his robes, when he became aware of Harry whimpering.

“What’s the matter Harry?” Severus asked softly, unconsciously calling him by his real name.

“I’m Emerson not Harry,” Harry replied forcefully through his sobs.

“What’s the matter Emerson?” Severus repeated easily.

“I killed Umbridge didn’t I?” He asked quietly.

“Yes you did,” Severus said unable to lie to him.

“I’m sorry I killed her,” Harry said a few minutes later.

“Are you really sorry?” Severus asked his voice full of skepticism.

“No, but I thought it was something you wanted to hear,” Harry admitted quietly. He was ashamed that he didn’t feel horrible about her death. True he regretted killing her but he wasn’t sad to see her go and that’s what freaked him out.

“I would rather hear the truth, then a lie,” Severus said softly.

“Oh,” Harry said sniffling once before wrapping his arms around his torso again.

Severus saw the self hug and frowned again, feeling completely out of his element. He sat pensively for a moment before sighing softly.

“I’m sorry Emerson,” Severus said his tone regretful.

“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything,” Harry said in confusion, the smell of potions oddly comforting at that moment.

“I can’t provide you the comfort you need right now,” Severus admitted almost inaudibly. He hated admitting any type of weakness and this was no different, but he felt the boy had a reason to hear it.

“I’ve never really had it, so you’re doing fine Professor,” Harry said softly his face still buried in his teacher’s leg. And he was correct, though they were both a stranger to giving and receiving comfort, Harry was content right where he was.