Small Like Me by JAWorley, hpfanficfan, Tragedy of Fenwick, Luck
Summary: In response to the "It's Kind of a Funny Story" challenge by Mellow Moon. A four author story.
Categories: Teacher Snape > Professor Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Arthur, Bellatrix, Bill, Charlie, Draco, Dudley, Dumbledore, Eileen Prince, Filch, Flitwick, Fred George, Ginny, Hagrid, Hedwig, Hermione, Lucius, Luna, McGonagall, Molly, Narcissa, Neville, Oliver Wood, Original Character, Percy, Petunia, Pomfrey, Remus, Ron, Shacklebolt, Sirius, Tonks, Umbridge, Vernon, Voldemort, Wormtail
Snape Flavour: Snape is Angry, Canon Snape, Snape is Kind, Snape is Stern
Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Family, General, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Supernatural, Tragedy
Media Type: None
Tags: None
Takes Place: 2nd Year
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Character Death, Neglect, Romance/Het, Violence
Prompts: It's Kind of a Funny Story
Challenges: It's Kind of a Funny Story
Series: None
Chapters: 14 Completed: No Word count: 22767 Read: 76363 Published: 03 May 2013 Updated: 22 May 2020
The Fight by hpfanficfan
Author's Notes:
You know I’m terrible at plot development.

After supper, Harry made his way to Snape’s office to serve his undeserved detention.  It wasn’t fair! None of this was his fault!  It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t learn how to read. Dudley was always making trouble for him. And his accidental magic was responsible for a big part of it too. He wasn’t trying to be disobedient and bad.

Snape was giving him detention for no reason at all! 

It simply was not fair!

He dragged his feet down to the dungeons, with his shoulders slouched over a great pout on his face. He knocked on Snape’s office door and waited. 

Harry heard grunting and banging coming from the other side of the door. It sounded as though somebody was rummaging through cupboard.  He put his ears up against the door, curious. The sudden the sound of shattering glass made Harry jump backwards.  The boy stood in the corridor, alone. Maybe he should just go? But he was supposed to have detention, and Snape wouldn’t like it at all if he decided to ditch.

“Professor Snape?” Harry called out nervously, and knocked on the door again. “Sir?”

The noises stopped and he heard footsteps coming closer.  He felt his little monster weave around his legs.

The heavy door slid open to reveal a very irritated looking Potions Master.  The man looked pale and sweaty. Harry took a step backwards as the tall professor loomed over him.

“Potter? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for my detention, sir?” said Harry.  It was unlike Snape to forget a detention.

The Potions Master frowned deeply, his face wrinkling up like a prune. “Detention? Yes, I…detention is postponed tonight, Potter, go back to your dorm, and stay there!”

“Professor, what’s going on?” Harry asked, not that he was protesting the postponed detention.  

“Nothing, Potter,” Snape snapped. “Do as I say now!”

Harry cringed at the harsh tone and he heard the creature give small rumble.

“And keep that thing of yours under control!” Snape said before he slammed the door shut.

Harry took a great risk and made a face at his mean professor…well, the door anyway.

***

Harry sat alone in his room, feeling sorry for himself.  He was happy that he got out of detention tonight, but that only meant he’d have to serve it another night.  Honestly, he wished he could have just got it over with.

Everybody was downstairs. Ron said he’d come up when he’s finished beating a fifth year boy at Wizards Chess. The Twins had played a bet on the fifth year boy, that he couldn’t beat their brother, best out of five.  After watching the third game, Harry got bored and went upstairs.

As soon as he slid open the door, is little monster scampered onto the bed and promptly burrowed itself into the covers.

Hedwig was waiting for him at the window, pecking at the closed window to be let in.  Harry quickly went over and unlatched the window for her.

 “Here, girl. What’s up?” he pampered and petted his owl on the head.

Hedwig hooted at him, she spread her wings and flapped inside, settling down on Harry’s mattress. The owl immediately noticed the lump on Harry’s bed and sent death glares at it. The snowy bird had an expression on her face that Harry could only describe as indignation. She squawked, as if to say what the heck is that thing?”   

The little monster shifted under the covers and purred. It had claimed Harry’s bed as its own.  Gryffindor Tower was one of the few places the little monster let itself relax.

Hedwig hooted again, and reached out a leg, poking the creature in the rear.  The little monster complained loudly, tunnelling out of the covers with speed.  It stood on all four of its paws, facing its assaulter and let out a disgruntled wail that sounded like a cross between a baby goat and a mother cheetah.

Hedwig seem unperturbed by the creature.  She glared down at it with her large, yellow eyes and clicked her beak.

The Protector swished its tail.  Harry could tell because Ginny had tied a bow at the end of it half an hour ago.  The little monster didn’t seem bothered by it, but Harry knew he couldn’t have the critter following him around Hogwarts, with a girly ribbon on its tail.  He’d have to remove it before morning.

Hedwig extended her wings and flapped wind at it.

The little monster wiggled its rear end and pounced.

Hedwig hooted unhappily and dodged out of the way by lifting herself into the air.  Harry’s little monster gave chase, bouncing on the bed and flopping around like a fish, wailing at the offensive bird.  Hedwig hooted back in fierce argument.

“Hey, stop that!” Harry cried, spinning around to try and keep track of the two animal foes. “Shush! “

But Harry’s frantic attempts to try and hush the two creatures fell on deaf ears.  The two animals chased each other around the room, flying and running circles around the young Gryffindor.  They bumped and crashed into tables, shifting chairs and hurtling through bed curtains, making a right racket

Hedwig dive-bombed the little monster and the furry critter leaped six feet into the air, spread its wings and gave chase.  It was unnerving watching a collar and ribbon fly around the room, making odd noises.  Harry began to worry for his beloved owl.  The small beast had been able to take on Snape, Hedwig wouldn’t stand a chance.   But the owl seemed to hold her own, her feathers weren’t even ruffled.  The two enemies flapped around the room, twisting around the bedposts with agility.

The Gryffindor heard a shout coming from downstairs   “What the bloody hell is going on?”

He renewed his efforts to stop the squabbling creatures. “Stop it right now!  Hedwig!  Come down here! You!” Harry pointed at the scampering creature, which had landed on one of the beds. “…heel!” He commanded.

Finally, Hedwig flew to the top of Harry’s canopy and turned her back on all of them. The little monster let out one last roar before it hopped down and strutted over to Harry’s legs. It curled itself against them, as if it was immensely proud of itself for having fended off a mighty fiend. 

Harry heaved a sigh.

At that moment, the door swung open and in stepped his best friends.

“Harry’s what’s all the commotion?  I heard you all the way from the common…” Hermione asked and stopped in mid-sentence as she saw the room. “…room”

“Woooahh…Harry what did you do?” Ron shouted, surveying the room with an open mouth.  The room was a mess – that was an understatement - the room was a chaotic quagmire of fallen books, scattered belongings and a jumble of bed sheets that were now on the floor.  

“Uhhh…”

“I’m not cleaning that up,” said Ron, putting his hands up as he stepped into the room.

Harry pouted. “Well it’s not my fault!”

“Harry, you’re the only one in the room.”

“I can’t help it if Hedwig decided to pick a fight.”

Hedwig hooted twice from her post on the canopy.  

“Hedwig, what’s the matter with you.” Harry scolded.  The great snowy bird twisted its head around 180 degrees and gave Harry a wounded look.  Harrys ran his hands through his mop-like hair.

“What? You started it,” Harry said, frowning.

Hedwig clicked her beak together, spread her wings and dived at Harry’s head.  She barely scrapped his head as her claws twisted around his hair, pulling out a few strands of it. Clearly, she meant him no great harm. But Harry protested nonetheless.

“Ow! Hey!”

The protector growled again, leaping up into the air after the owl.  But Hedwig flew right through the window and into the silent night.

Harry grumbled.  “That’s  what happened.  Sorry, I don’t know what’s got into her.”  He bent over and picked up his protector and went to sit on the bed.  The creature purred in his arms.

Ron and Hermione followed, carefully stepping over the mess on the floor and sitting next to Harry.

“Well, I can think of one reason,” said Hermione.

“What’s that?” Harry asked, as he proceeded to remove the girly ribbon from the critter’s tail.

“I think Hedwig’s jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Well yea.  Owls are very smart you know. They are very sentimental and loyal creatures, though they often act aloof.  Some people say that they are even more emotional than dogs.”

“She’s an owl, she can’t be jealous!”

“I think,” Hermione continued, “that owls are more like cats than dogs in a lot of ways. I have cats at home, and trying to introduce a new one into the family is worse than trying to make you and Draco get along.”

“Uhh, right.”

“You don’t have to worry about it, they’ll be fine once they get used to each other.”

Harry sighed and looked out the window, wondering where Hedwig had gone.

To be continued...


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