When Dumbledore first started to teach Severus Occlumency, he referred to legilimency as a beautiful bit of magic, akin to sharing an individual’s soul for a brief moment. It is impossible to feel the emotions and hear the thoughts of another and remain completely impassive towards them. Understanding inevitably begets compassion. The fact that Potter was an abysmal Occlumens was not only troubling to Severus because of the Dark Lord, but also because night-after-night he had to feel Potter’s emotions, hear his thoughts and understand his fears.

Severus did not want to see Potter as a lonely, skinny child sneaking through Petunia’s things trying to find a picture of Lily. He did not want to feel the hurt and disbelief Potter felt in discovering that his father was a bully. He definitely did not want experience the surge of compassion and empathy Potter had felt for Severus after said discovery. It was all too intimate.

He did have to admit that the child was different, ever so slightly, than he had presumed. The childhood memories Severus had witnessed were almost uniformly unpleasant. Severus had expected that the ‘Boy Who Lived’ would be the centre of his little, muggle family. Instead, it seemed that the boy had a childhood filled with chores and loneliness. This new information did not change the fact that he did not like the boy. It did not negate Potter’s penchant for rule-breaking that made keeping him alive exceedingly difficult, nor did it mean he was treated as anything less than a Prince in this world. It was simply new information that Severus found himself unwillingly cursed with having. It also did not change the fact that the little berk was running late.

Seconds later, the sound of trainers running reverberated through the dungeons and Potter appeared at the doorway, breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry Professor.” Potter wheezed, entering the classroom. “My detention with Umbridge ran late”. Severus sighed. Any new understanding he had developed in regards to the boy did not negate the fact that he was thick as congealed cement.

“Potter, are you not aware of the precarious nature of your relationship with Umbridge?” Severus asked turning dark eyes to Potter.

“Yes, but – “

“Were you not explicitly told to stay off of her radar?” Severus asked again, cutting off the boy’s feeble attempt at explanation. Potter’s face flushed red and his eyes snapped with anger.

“I think it is a little late for that, sir.” Potter replied defiantly. This was the boy’s problem, every emotion just sat there. The woman probably said something odious and Potter snapped at her in temper. It shouldn’t be a surprise, Severus thought briefly. Neither of his parents were particularly cool-headed. The thought came out of nowhere, an unexpected and unwelcome dreg from his subconscious. He shook it off just as quickly.

“Do you know how to control your emotions Mr. Potter?” Severus snapped at the boy. Harry looked as though he was about to throw back a furious retort but then quite unexpectedly, the boy gave a defeated little shrug.

“Empty yourself of emotion Potter. Its what I’ve been telling you for weeks!” Severus replied exasperated. This boy was going to get them all killed.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Harry exploded in frustration. Severus looked at the boy’s face for a long time. He looked more agitated than he usually did, even in Snape’s company. There were dark, half-moons under the boy’s glasses and tension seemed to radiate from ever fiber of him. Tension, Severus himself had not caused. This lobbing of insults was, if anything, less heated than previous exchanges had been. Perhaps the boy had a fight with a friend – The Weasley boy maybe.

Maybe it was because the boy looked stressed; maybe it was because Severus was so sick of seeing the prat’s life in memory form; or maybe it was that understanding Dumbledore had warned him about all those years ago, but Severus did not snap back. Instead, he leaned back against the desk and observed Potter who started to fidget under Severus’ stare.

“You do not know how to empty yourself of emotion?” Severus asked calmly. Potter looked at him for a moment, clearly trying to decipher if the question was genuine or a doorway to another insult.

“Not in the way you mean…so that my head goes blank and I feel nothing.” Harry answered, apparently deciding to test the waters with the truth.

“The objective is not to feel nothing Potter. It is to push those feelings out of the conscious mind.” Severus did not bother to control the sneer in his voice. Potter did not respond to it but simply looked more confused.

“Sir, how do I know I have done that?” Potter asked. It was likely the first time the boy had asked Severus a question that related to their lessons.

If Severus was completely honest with himself he would admit that he had not exactly put his best foot forward teaching-wise during these Occlumency sessions. He barely thought of a lesson plan that went beyond him screaming legilimens at Potter. Considering protecting oneself from random legilimency was extremely difficult, it was not surprising the lessons had been met with little success.

He struggled to recall Dumbedore’s teachings almost fourteen years ago. Their relationship had been different. Severus had been so angry and hurt and Dumbledore was the only person who was willing an able to understand why. It was easy to allow Dumbledore to poke around the inside of his mind. There was nothing of importance the man did not already know and, unlike Severus, Dumbledore was a kind and patient teacher. Dumbledore had walked into Severus mind, he did not explode into it. Severus tried not to sigh.  How he was teaching Potter clearly was not successful. The boy arrived increasingly more sullen and frustrated. His Occlumency skills were barely advancing. If he wanted these unpleasant evenings with Potter to finish, he was going to have to use a different method.

“Sit down Potter.” Severus ordered, pulling a chair up himself. Harry gave Severus the same circumspect expression he always did when the man did not snap at him but took the seat.  Severus leaned back considering how best to start.

“You can produce a Patronus charm can you not?” Severus asked, knowing the answer. Potter nodded in response.

“Yes, sir” Severus snapped. He loathed nodding, shrugging and all other adolescent, non-verbal gestures.

“Yes, sir.” Harry repeated. He had the same pinched look of dislike his father had when he looked at Severus. Severus moved along.

“One way to clear your mind is to focus on a memory, like a Patronus.” Severus explained. Harry nodded, seemingly able to follow for once. “unlike a Patronus this memory should not be particularly strong. Strong memories are often clouded by our own interpretations. This makes them hard to hold on to. Think of something that is innocuous, but vivid. An image that has struck in your mind for no particular reason.”  Potter worried his lip for a moment nodding.

“Alright, sir I think I have it.” Harry said, determination on his face.

“I am going to attempt to penetrate your mind. You are going to attempt to let me see only that memory.” Severus added. Harry closed his eyes. His brow was furrowed in concentration.

“Legilimens.” Severus said quietly, attempting to control the intrusion so as only to enter the conscious mind. Potter’s memory seemed to take place in the Gryffindor common room. Potter was sitting on one of those wretched, over-stuffed chairs by the fire, a large ginger cat in his lap. The fire crinkled pleasantly. Potter calmly watched it, dazed by the dancing flames. Unlike the previous memories, it did not flow like a movie but sat like moving photo. Severus attempted to mentally shove past the image. The image shook, Severus could hear the voices coming from other memories just behind the image, but stayed in place. He had to grudgingly admit that Potter was doing a fairly decent job for a first attempt.

Severus pushed again, harder, wanting to show the boy how it felt when the image was moved. He was successful. He could feel affection and tenderness as Harry observed Hermione correcting his essay. Those soft feelings of friendship and gratitude suddenly twisted to righteous anger the likes of which Severus had yet to feel from Harry. Hatred, pain and fear swirled in the boy’s mind as he looked down at his hand. I will not tell lies was etched deeply in the skin.

With a sensation of being pulled backwards through a tornado, Severus pulled himself out of Harry’s mind. The boy breathed heavily gripping his hand. He turned his pale face up to Severus, looking petrified as he attempted to catch his breath.

“Your hand Mister Potter.” Severus clipped, holding his own hand out. Occlumency did not distinguish a fantasy from reality, though the emotions contained in fantasies were much more simplistic. It was possible Severus had stumbled upon a dream. With a slight feeling of foreboding he noticed that Potter’s hand, until now hidden under over-large robes, was bandaged.

“I do not have all night.” Severus said not attempting to soften his voice. Deciding reluctance was futile, Harry cautiously extended his hand to Severus. Severus banished the poor bandaging causing Harry to wince. There the evidence was, clear as day. I will not tell lies was carved in to the thin, freckled hand that he had sworn to protect. Blood still wept, sluggishly, from the carving. The skin around it was swollen and tender.

There was a tense moment of silence where neither of them knew quite what to do. During his time as Head of Slytherin he had dealt with ill children, scared children and even his share of abused children but none of them were Potter. It was so much easier to be kind when it wasn’t Potter. Harry was observing him keenly, trying to decipher Severus’ next move. His clammy hand shook slightly.

Severus raised his wand and Harry flinched instinctively, almost pulling his hand away. Severus tightened his grip on the boy’s wrist and looked in to the fearful, green eyes staring back at him. What did the boy think he was going to do? Curse off the hand?

“Epinsky” Severus whispered. The wound shut. Harry yanked his hand back ungraciously, regarding the healed wound with surprise.

“Uhm..Thanks.” Harry responded as he rubbed his now uninjured hand. Had he been looking, Severus would have detected a new emotion akin to curiosity in the boy’s face. As it happened, Severus’ mind had already moved on from the boy in front of him. Potter was not the only student who had detention tonight. Without a word of dismissal, Severus swept past Harry leaving the boy to stare after him. There was a moment’s hesitation, and then the footsteps followed Severus.

A deep thrill of fury Severus had not felt in years ignited in his chest as he stormed down the hallway. First that blob of a woman gets Dumbledore kicked out of Hogwarts and now she decides to use a blood quill on the very students he was responsible to protect. Severus hated people who hurt children, even if the child in question was Potter.

In Severus’ fog of anger, it seemed to him as though the Umbridge’s office materialized out of thin air. Without knocking, he threw open the door and took in the scene before him. A million pink kittens meowed at him. The pink of the room was so overwhelming he almost did not see Umbridge’s stout figure glaring up at him with surprise and fury. He looked past her. He wasn’t looking for her yet.  Severus looked down at the desk in front of him where little Jack Prewett stared back at him with a mixture of pain, fear and guilt on chubby face. The Slytherin first year was quiet, intelligent and obedient. Unlike Potter, who would likely only follow the rules should they be carved into his skin, it was hard to imagine Jack breaking a rule so important as to deserve to have his hand carved up.

“Wait outside” Severus said to Jack, a little more tempestuously than he intended. The boy did not need to be told twice. He jumped out of his seat.

“Now you wait a minute young man.” Dolores finally seemed to have found her voice and strode over, her body swelling with her false sense of power. Jack froze.

“Now, Mr. Prewett.” Severus said sharply, gliding between Dolores and Jack. Jack bolted out the door, not looking backwards. Dolores swelled in anger, giving herself an acute similarity to a bull-frog.

“You cannot dismiss my –“ Severus held his wand up to Dolores’ throat, his teeth barred.

“I have done things that make killing you look like a regular Thursday night.” Severus whispered slowly, taking care to emphasize every word “You touch another one of my students again and I promise you, you will most…uncomfortable.” Dolores looked liked she would have liked to respond but Severus gave her one last snarl for good measure before whipping around and exiting the office. He didn’t want to over-sell it. He glanced around briefly for Jack but the boy hadn’t waited by the door. A chocked sob reverberated from the adjacent hallway. Severus tensed. He hated it when they cried. He never knew what to do.

“There now, it’s alright” said a vaguely familiar, low voice. “This will make it feel better.” Severus silently rounded the corner and realized with surprise the voice belonged to Potter. He was crouched in front of Jack, gently dabbing something on the boy’s hand with a handkerchief. In his flash of rage Severus had forgotten Potter had followed him to the office. He had never heard the boy speak in such tone of voice before. Jack let out another little sob.

“I di-didn’t mean to be late.” Jack sniffed, clearly hoping to impress upon Potter that he was not a delinquent.  He wiped his good arm across his face to brush away the tears. “I just got lost.” Jack continued, starting to worry his lip between his teeth. Severus was not sure why he watched behind the corner instead of stepping in immediately and sending Harry back to his dorm. Jack should be fixed up by his head of house, not by a 5th year with rather limited healings skills. Still, Severus could not help but be intrigued by seeing Potter in such a role. He was unwilling to interrupt the moment.

“It’s not your fault.” Harry reassured the boy. His tone was soft and sympathetic as he continued to apply the potion with a gentle hand. “She’s like that with everyone. See?” Potter held up his own hand for the little boy to see. The look of gentle concern on Harry’s face reminded Severus of someone but he wasn’t sure whom.

“She said I needed to be punished.” Jack whispered. He was no longer crying but his lip quivered ominously. Severus felt a new rush of hatred for Umbridge. Severus was quite fond of Jack. The boy was trying hard to succeed at Hogwarts and was often found in the Slytherin common room reviewing his homework with a seriousness most first years lacked. It seemed utterly unnecessary for Umbridge to break down the little boy’s self-confidence for minor tardiness.

 Harry’s soft expression hardened. He stopped applying the potion and put a reassuring hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“You don’t listen to a word she says.” Harry said a little more fiercely. “She’s a big, fat, ugly toad is what she is.” Jack’s troubled face broke into an uncertain smile. Harry smiled warmly back.  

“Language Mr. Potter.” Harry jumped up as though he had been electrocuted. His face flushed red, clearly embarrassed at having been interrupted in a moment he believed to be private.

“Sorry Professor.” Harry muttered, shifting uncomfortably from foot-to-foot. He looked so much like James in that moment that Severus almost wanted to take points on principle.  Still, Potter had been decent to the younger boy, kinder than he had to be.  Severus supposed it would seem rather unfair to Jack if he took points for something so inconsequential as calling Umbridge a toad after Potter had been kind to Jack. Severus did not like to seem completely petty in front of his first-years.

“We will resume lessons on Wednesday night Potter. Do practice.” Severus said by means of dismissal. Harry nodded and gave Jack a smile and a wave, which the boy returned. Harry turned his eyes to Severus for a moment.

“Goodnight Professor” Harry said. Then Harry did something Severus never expected. Harry smiled at him. It was an awkward, tight smile that left almost as soon as it came, but it was unmistakably a smile. Severus was so taken aback that he continued to stare at the boy. Harry gave a little nod and trotted past Severus towards the Gryffindor common room.