"EEYOOWWLL!!"
Harry jumped violently and nearly turned to run before realising that the noise which sounded like he'd trodden on a kneazle's tail was another of Professor Snape's Halloween charms.
The twins had not been lying when they said it was well worth sneaking down to the dungeons. The carved jack a lanterns which were the only light source cast creepy shadows as they brightened and dimmed when Harry passed, and things were flying low in the shadows ruffling his hair. It was a shame that Ron had chosen to stay at the feast, the prospect of food too tempting for him to pass up for even a few minutes.
Nervously Harry moved deeper into the dungeons. Who would have thought the greasy git would have gone to all this trouble for his Slytherins.
"Whooooo," a ghostly figure appeared in front of Harry, beckoning with a clawed hand. As he hesitated the apparition vanished with a screech, only to be replaced by a swarm of giant flying insects zooming towards him. He ducked, and almost decided to run for the safety of the upper floors, but the missiles only made him shiver as they passed over him and disappeared. He took a deep breath, and then paused as the whole corridor began to shake when loud footsteps moved along the upper dungeon corridor. Harry grinned - it sounded as if Hagrid was stomping along wearing hobnail boots. Snape certainly put on a good show!
As Harry stopped to inspect a huge cobweb full of spiders which was covering most of an alcove containing the statue of an ugly old crone, he heard lots of lighter footsteps marching towards him. Ducking into the alcove, Harry pondered that maybe it was lucky that Ron hadn't come with him as he'd have been screaming like a banshee by now. He watched as what looked like the whole of Slytherin house marched by his hiding place in a long crocodile formation. Harry hadn't thought he'd been down in the dungeons long enough for the feast to have finished, but maybe he'd got carried away by Snape's surprises.
When the last of the Snakes had passed, Harry slipped out from behind the cobweb, dusted his hair off, and began to hurry back up towards ground level. As he was about to round the last corner he bumped into something large and black, which was solid enough to send him staggering backwards. Regaining his balance, Harry looked up slowly, gulping at the unwelcome sight of the Slytherin head of house glaring at him by the light of his wand.
"Potter. Why must you be just like your father and do exactly what you've been told not to do? What are you doing wandering about down here instead of being safely up in your tower?"
Somewhat distracted by watching the strange effect of the lighting on the rather long nose of his Professor, creativity deserted Harry and he quickly decided that honesty was his best, in fact only, option. "I came to look at your Halloween decorations, sir. The tw..um...someone said they were really good so I sneaked out of the feast. I like the one that feels like giant footsteps are making the corridor shake the best."
"That was not my doing, Potter. There is a troll at large in the castle and the feast has been abandoned while all students return to their common rooms. I suppose I shall have to escort you safely back to your rightful place before anyone starts worrying about your whereabouts."
Grasping Harry's ear firmly between finger and thumb Snape made to move. "Come along, Potter," he said impatiently.
"Uh, sir, did you say a troll? Are they real then, and dangerous? Oww!"
"Trolls, Potter, are large, stupid and therefore doubly dangerous and they also like to eat tender little boys who wander around alone. Now, follow me." Giving Harry's ear one last pinch before releasing it, Snape led the way upwards.
As they ascended the marble staircase from the deserted main hall Harry thought of something Neville had mentioned earlier, about Hermione Granger hiding in the girls' bathroom.
"Sir, could we just check out the second floor girls' bathroom on the way? I think someone might be in there and not know about the troll."
"Are there Gryffindors lurking all over the castle, Potter? Very well, I suppose it's only a short detour."
As they approached the bathroom they heard a shrill scream. Snape had his wand at the ready when a cloud of stinking gas billowed down the corridor and a troll came stumbling out of the bathroom with a disgusted expression on its face.
"Hah," said Harry as he saw a flash of red peering around the far corner. "That was Ron and some dungbombs."
"Indeed?" drawled Snape, casting a clean air charm as the troll lumbered slowly in their direction with an eager light in its eyes.
Harry leapt up and grabbed a pumpkin out of one of the high window ledges that ran along the corridor, and which had been filled with pumpkins, some hollowed out and lit, others intact. He threw the pumpkin as hard as he could to land at the troll's enormous hairy feet, which then squashed it as the creature travelled on forwards.
"Pass me the pumpkins, sir!" Harry yelled urgently.
Bemused, Snape did as requested, and Harry kept lobbing them at the troll, which seemed to impede its progress a little. Snape decided to join in, and threw a particularly large and ripe one to hit the troll in the face. Momentarily blinded, it lost its footing in the squished pumpkin mess on the floor and fell backwards with a floor shuddering thud.
"Wingardium leviosa!" Ron shouted, waving his wand wildly. The troll's heavy club rose in a wobbly arc, then dropped down and bashed it on the head.
"Incarcerous!" Hermione appeared out of the shadows and trussed the unconscious troll up. "Ooh, I've wanted to try that one out properly ever since I read about it," she squeaked.
At that moment Professor McGonagall arrived on the scene, wand held aloft. "Goodness me, is everyone all right? What exactly happened?" she exclaimed.
"The troll came into the bathroom, but Ron flushed it out with a dungbomb," Hermione explained.
"Three, actually."
"Yes, and you nearly asphyxiated me, Ronald."
"Oh, sorry, never thought of that," Ron replied cheerfully. "Then Harry threw pumpkins at the troll and it fell over."
"Then Ron did Wingardium and knocked the troll out with it's own club, and Hermione made the ropes. Ta da!" Harry completed the story.
"I see. And what were you doing all this time, Severus?" asked McGonagall.
"Oh, he passed the pumpkins, and got the troll right in the face with a big one!"
"I, Madam, was trying to get a clear wand shot at the soft neck part of the creature. Obviously I did not wish to risk my spell rebounding, since I was unsure how many more of your renegade Lions were going to leap in front of it," Snape retorted defensively.
"Twenty points each from the three of you for being out of your common room illegally, and for foolishly confronting the troll," he continued.
"But thirty points each for dealing with it successfully, even if by sheer dumb luck," Minerva quickly countered.
She vanished the pumpkin mess from the floor, then transfigured the still senseless troll into a small wooden carving which she levitated up and inspected before handing it to Snape. "Maybe you can dispose of that for me, Severus."
"Hmmph. Perhaps Potter would like to keep it as a memento of his exploits," the Potions Master growled.
"Oh, thanks, sir! It can be a prop when we tell everyone the Tale of the Troll. That was a great shot you made with the pumpkin, Professor, we'll be sure to let everyone know." Harry eagerly relieved Snape of the treasure.
"Was everything in order on the third floor, Severus?" McGonagall asked quietly.
"It was," he replied tersely.
"Well, children, be on your way to the common room now, and absolutely no stopping off on the way," McGonagall ordered.
"It was daaaaark in the dungeons..."
"Whoooo."
"Don't be silly, boys."
"What? It was dark."
Snape glared in annoyance at the retreating backs of the chattering children, before turning and striding swiftly away in the direction of the dungeons without further comment.
"Oh, my - Severus!" laughed Minerva to herself as she made her way to the Headmaster's office to report on the containment of the troll. "I think that you will find tonight hard to live down once my Gryffindors have got hold of the story. Passing the pumpkins indeed!"