“Dad, I want an ice-cream,” Harry Potter said in a loud voice.

Severus ignored him, glaring hate into the coffee cup as if it was the one drawing the attention.

“Da-ad,” the boy whined louder. “I want an ice-cream!”

Severus would not look at Potter, would not even allow himself to scowl. He knew it was stupid, the boy had moved from his table and was standing right in front of him.

“Dad,” said another voice, and Severus couldn’t help it: he looked up, startled. Percy Weasley had joined Potter, although he was looking considerable more nervous and kept glancing back at the twins, who were grinning wickedly. “I—I would like an ice cream too. Please.”

“Pathetic,” one of the twins muttered.

“Daddy!” Severus yelped in shock as a small blonde girl dive-bombed into his lap, knocking his lukewarm coffee everywhere. “Can we go to the circus after this, please, please?”

“You promised, Daddy,” another voice said, and Severus’ head whirled round to see a red-haired girl hanging off his arm. “I want to see the acrobats!”

“I want an ice-cream!” Potter yelled, stamping on the floor.

“Daddy, my chips have gone cold,” Granger said, thrusting a greasy card box into his face. “Can I have some more?”

A scuffle parted the crowd. “No, Dad loves me more!” one of the twins were shouting as the other had him and their youngest brother in a headlock.

Severus stared, gobsmacked, at the clamouring children, all with a mischievous spark in their eyes. This was a nightmare. It had to be. He would wake up any minute.

The wrestling Weasleys crashed into a table, knocking it over completely. Severus snapped out of his shock and stood up. “Enough!”

He hadn’t even shouted, but they all stopped dead and looked at him. He disentangled himself from Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley, pushed Granger out of his face and stood up, glaring at them all. “Out. Now.” He pointed at the door.

One by one his ‘children’ trooped out, the whole ‘family’ stared at by the dozen or so Muggles in the restaurant. The Granger girl was still clutching the box of cold chips.

How had he got roped into this? Severus sighed. According to Albus, the Weasleys had asked Lovegood, who had asked Minerva, who had asked Albus, to babysit the Weasley brood for the day.

They were all playing pass the bloody parcel, he thought gloomily. Why hadn’t he had the sense to dump the job on some other poor sod before the music stopped? 

As he led them away from McDonald’s and back towards Diagon Alley, he reflected that at least they hadn’t chosen to humiliate him among his wizarding peers. Among strangers was embarrassing enough. He strongly suspected this was his ‘punishment’ for spending most of the day pretending that he was nothing to do with them.

Oh, just wait till the start of term, he thought smugly to himself. They probably thought he wouldn’t be able to punish them because it was the holidays. Just they wait—he would find a way if it killed him.

Someone spoke ahead of him, and Severus tuned into what Granger was saying. “… brilliant, Harry. I’ve never heard you whine like that before, you sounded worse than Malfoy. How’d you do it?”

“Oh, it was easy,” Potter replied with a grin. “I’ve seen Dudley do it plenty of times, I just copied him.”

The trio laughed, and Severus scowled deeper. He was going to have to think up a really unpleasant punishment, it looked like it would take a lot to wipe the smiles off their faces.

“Shame he stopped me there, really,” Potter continued. “Dudley used to throw himself on the floor and thump it with his fists, screaming. I was quite looking forward to that.”

What a brat, Severus couldn’t help but think to himself. He was sure that Potter must have thrown tantrums like that before—no-one was that good an actor. Copied his cousin, indeed. Thank goodness he had never had to take the boy anywhere as a child. At least when he was faking a tantrum, Severus could stop it.

Mind you, if he’d ever had any position of responsibility for the boy at an impressionable age, Severus would have made sure Potter didn’t grow into the spoiled, arrogant brat he was now. Pity he hadn’t had the chance …

Well. He had had the chance, hadn’t he. He had just blown it.

Severus forced the thought out of his mind and glared deeper at the students’ backs, the painful memories adding fuel to his desire for a very nasty punishment.

That was the last time he did a favour for Albus.