Christmas Carols were being sung, the sound of them echoing between the walls and the high ceiling of the church, bringing a message of Christmas and all its wonders to the churchgoers lined up in the rows of seats. Severus sat in the very back, not singing but looking around curiously. His parents had never been the kind to attend church and he could not remember them ever taking him there either. It was beautiful, he thought, and he wondered if Hogwarts would be anything like it.

As the last psalm finished he discretely left, not wanting to be caught dawdling around. Once outside the church gates he stepped aside to let other people past. Some people glared at him and his dirty clothes, some felt their pockets to make sure they had not been robbed but Severus did not pay them much attention. It wasn’t for them he had come today.

Finally the person he had been waiting for came through the big doors. He took a step forward and as soon as she noticed him she was by his side, smiling widely.

“Merry Christmas, Sev!” she said, giving him a hug.

“Merry Christmas, Lily,” he replied, awkwardly hugging her back.

Her parents stood some distance away, keeping an eye on their daughter whilst conversing with the pastor. Severus wondered, not for the first time, what they thought of his friendship with their daughter. Their families were so different.

As they pulled apart he could see that she was more beautiful than usual today. Her hair was curly and she had green ties in it. Dressed in a white coat over her green dress she looked like an angel, he thought, especially as the softly falling snow seemed to form a halo on her head.

“So, I … Uh, I got you a present,” she stammered, blushing lightly. “I know you said you didn’t want one but I wanted to get you something, and anyway, it isn’t that much, so will you accept it?”

She was talking so fast it was hard to comprehend what she was saying, as she often did when she got nervous. He smiled back at her, accepting the gift she held out for him.

“Thanks, Lily. I don’t have anything for you, though.”

“That’s fine. You didn’t need to get me anything. Mom already gave me this beautiful new doll anyway.”

Silently he was grateful that she was so nice about it. He had wanted to get her something, he really had, but he had no money and the extra money his family got from church for Christmas had already been spent on alcohol by his father. Not that he knew what he would have gotten her even if he had had any money.

“Won’t you open it?” she asked eagerly.

“Alright.”

It was the only gift he was likely to receive so he took his time, slowly peeling the paper off and folding it neatly. A small box was revealed and inside it was a small pile of ginger bread men, complete with decorating and everything.

“Cute, aren’t they?” Lily asked. “I helped mom make them yesterday and asked if I could give you some. Those are the best I managed. Do you like them?”

“I love them,” he said, picking one up to view it closer.

“Look, this one even got a wand. Mom thought it was a candy cane and I didn’t tell her what it really was, you know, because I’m not supposed to know about Hogwarts and all of that …”

He laughed a little at that. Truth to be told it looked more like a candy cane than a wand but he loved the little detail anyway.

“Thank you, Lily,” he repeated. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you could come so I could give them to you. I don’t think dad would have let me go home to you to give them to you.”

No, it did not seem too likely that her dad would let her visit his street. There was too much of a risk that she would get robbed. And even if he would have let her Severus would not have liked her to see what it was like, where he lived. There was something pure about her and he did not want to stain that, young as he was. 

“Well, I’ve got to go now. Grandma is coming to visit soon.”

“Okay. Merry Christmas Lily.”

“Merry Christmas Sev. See you later.”

With a last hug she headed back to her parents and her sister. Snape watched them leave, holding the box of gingerbread men close to his chest.

Brushing away the snow he sat on the low wall separating the church from the graveyard, putting the box beside him. Most people had left by now but light still flowed out from the church and Severus chose the ginger bread man with the wand. It tasted wonderfully and he closed his eyes. Treats like this were rare and he would make sure to enjoy them before he got home.

When he opened his eyes again the memory had faded and he was once again standing in front of her memorial stone. Shaking his head he tried to chase away the nostalgic feeling. He was being foolish. Lily had been dead for more than five years and still he could not forget her. He couldn’t even bring himself to visit her actual grave, the location being much too close to where she had died. It was too painful. Instead he settled for this memorial stone in Cokeworth, which had been raised for her elderly muggle grandmother to visit before she too died only months after her granddaughter.

Before he left he conjured a wreath of holly which he placed on the ground.

“Merry Christmas Lily.”

Leaving through the church gate he could hear the coir practicing Christmas Carols and he was once again reminded that it was only two days until Christmas. He should head back to Hogwarts and see to it that all of the students got safely on the train. However the nostalgic feeling lingered and he did not feel quite ready to return to the school.

Aimlessly walking he ended up in a park near a shopping mall that had not been there when he was young. The parking lot was full of cars and stressed out muggles managing their shopping before Christmas. Severus scoffed at them and sat down on a bench with his back towards the mall, instead looking out over the small lake where children were ice skating.

He sat like that for a while, allowing the memories of Lily to take hold of him again. Lily that Christmas, Lily playing in the park, Lily on the Hogwarts train, Lily in school, Lily, Lily, Lily.

His chest ached from the fact that she was gone. How he regretted what he had done, the role he had played in her death. It was too late to change anything though. She was dead and gone forever.

“You look sad.”

The voice startled him and he glanced at the child that had spoken, enough to notice that it was a boy with wild black hair. He didn’t answer, didn’t even look at the child for more than a moment. Instead he just schooled his features into the mask he usually wore.

“Are you said because Father Christmas won’t give you anything for Christmas?” the boy continued to ask.

Still Snape did not say anything. That did not seem to affect the boy though.

“Aunt says that only nice people get presents from Father Christmas. She says that if you are not a good little boy then he will give you coal.”

For whatever reason the boy seemed to take Severus’ silence as an invitation, because the boy sat down next to him on the bench. Severus contemplated leaving but his only option was Hogwarts and he still did not feel ready to face all those dunderheads again.

“Dudley says Father Christmas eats bad little boys like me. Do you think that’s true?”

That caught Severus’ attention and he glanced at the boy again. He was looking at the ground, nervously fiddling with the hem of his too large jacket.

“No, I don’t believe he does.”

It was hard to say what surprised him the most, the fact that he had replied at all or that he was actually trying, however halfheartedly, to comfort the child.

“That’s what I told Dudley. But then Dudley said that I wouldn’t know, would I? Since I’m such a bad boy Father Christmas wouldn’t like me to know or I might try to hide when he comes, and he has too many good boys to visit to be bothered to look for bad boys like me before he eats them.”

How he managed to maintain his expressionless mask was a mystery to Severus. He had heard a lot of stupid things in his life but this was the most ridiculous of all. Who had come up with these stupid lies?

“What if Dudley’s right? What if he will try to eat me? Do you think he will?”

“That depends. What did you do?”

In lack of anything else to do he decided that he would humor the boy, for the time being. It didn’t seem like the boy would leave anytime soon anyway.

“I, uh … I was bad. I did something bad. Real bad.”

Chewing his lip the boy glanced at Severus.

“Something freakish.”

Severus did not move a muscle and eventually his patience was rewarded.

“I turned my teacher’s hair blue,” the boy admitted silently.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but did not say anything.

“I don’t know how it happened, it just did and somehow it was my fault. Aunt says that because I did that I won’t get any presents this year.”

Accidental magic. It wasn’t the first time it got a child in trouble and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. He wondered how serious this thing about the child not getting any gifts for Christmas was. If it was just that it certainly would not kill the child but if there were more to it …

Snow started falling and the boy looked up, a smile spreading across his face. A moment later the sadness and insecurity was gone and he was up and spinning in the snow, trying to catch the snowflakes on his tongue. Severus decided that the boy was probably just being dramatic.

“It’s snowing!” the boy exclaimed. “It’s snowing, it’s snowing! I love snow!”

Spinning faster and faster the boy moved away from Snape a bit, laughing as he jumped and managed to catch a snowflake on his tongue. Severus watched him, somehow unable not to. There was something about this boy …

Abruptly the spinning ended as the boy stumbled on a stone and fell to the ground. Severus grimaced, expecting there to be tears and a big scene. The boy just sat up calmly, wincing a little as it appeared he had hurt his knee.

“Look at this!” the boy suddenly said, diving towards the ground again.

He held up a five pound note for Severus to see.

“Is this yours?” he asked.

“No.”

Severus did not have any muggle money on him. Amused he watched as the boy looked around as if trying to determine who the rightful owner of the note was but as there were no one near them it was a hopeless case.

“Whose do you think it is?”

“No idea. Whoever finds it get to keep it usually applies in this kind of cases, if I’m not mistaken. “

“You mean I’d keep it?”

The boy sounded astonished by the very idea.

“Why not?” Severus shrugged. “You won’t find the owner now.”

For a moment the boy just sat there on the ground, looking at the note in his hands. Then he looked up at Severus again, as if needing to affirm that he indeed had permission to keep the note.

“I could keep it?” he wondered again.

“Indeed,” Severus replied.

“And … could I buy things with it?”

“If that is what you want, then do it.”

“Wow.”

In awe the boy stared at the note for another moment before looking around, apparently already trying to determine what he should spend it on.

“Dudley gets pocket money sometimes,” the boy told him. “I’ve never had money of my own. Uncle says you have to earn it first.”

“That is usually the case, I believe.”

“Mmm. I’ve tried to earn some but I never manage. I’m not good enough. Not like Dudley.”

“Who is this “Dudley” anyway?”

“Dudley’s my cousin. He’s a good boy and he always gets what he wants.”

Was there a tone of bitterness in the boy’s voice? Severus was not sure. If there was it was gone when the boy continued.

“That’s why we are here today. Dudley wanted this computer game but the store near us was out and the only place that had it was here, so Aunt drove all the way here to get it in time for Christmas.”

“And where is your cousin?”

“He’s at the zoo. Aunt and Uncle didn’t want him to find out so Uncle Vernon took him to the zoo while Aunt drove here.”

“Why aren’t you at the zoo with your cousin then? Or with your parents, for that matter?”

“Uncle Vernon didn’t want me to come, since I was bad, so Aunt took me instead.”

When the boy chose not to answer the second question Severus took that to mean that the boy’s parents were either dead or not his guardians. He didn’t press the issue.

“What do you think I should buy for my money?” the boy wondered after a moment.

Looking around a little Snape tried to see if there was anything that would interest a young boy nearby.

“Well, there seems to be a toy store over there. You could always try that, though I doubt five pounds would give you very much.”

“I could buy toys for my own!”

“The grocery store over there no doubt has sweets, if that is what you want to spend your money on.”

“Candy!”

Excited the boy stood from the ground, looking around as if the world had suddenly gone full of possibilities.

“I should probably hurry, before Aunt comes back,” the boy mumbled.

“Where is your aunt?” Severus wondered suddenly, realizing that he had not seen the woman yet.

“She’s in there, getting Dudley’s present. I was told to wait by the car.”

“And where is your Aunt’s car?”

“Over there.”

Carelessly the boy waved in the general direction of the parking area. Severus just hoped that he would not get in trouble with the aunt for talking to a child he had never met before.

“I’ll be right back, sir.”

Feet moving quickly the boy scurried over towards the toy store Severus had pointed out. Severus watched after him for a moment before he turned away, once again looking out over the small lake and the children ice skating.

What had he been doing before the boy interrupted? It took him a moment to recall and when he did he realized that some of the self-pity he had wallowed in had evaporated. He had been thinking about Lily. They used to play in the park not far from here. Once she had even taken him ice skating, though Severus had not had any ice skates so he had just settled for playing on the ice with his regular shoes.

Perhaps it was time for him to return to Hogwarts. It was getting late, darkness would soon start falling and there were still students staying at the school over the holidays. Yes, he decided. It was definitely time for him to go back to Hogwarts.

“I didn’t buy any toy. You know what I bought instead?”

Surprised Severus turned to find the boy had once again returned to him. He had his hands behind his back, holding whatever he had spent his money on out of Severus’ sight.

“Sweets?” he guessed.

“Nope. Try again.”

“A book?”

“Ha, no. I bought something much better. See?”

Proudly he brought out a small paper bag, holding it up for Severus to see. It was brown and decorated with a pattern of green holly but there were no telling him what was inside it.

“I bought cupcakes, and a few gingerbread men. Do you want one?”

Before Severus could answer the boy had opened the bag and brought out two gingerbread men, holding one of them out towards Severus. Awkwardly Severus accepted it, though he did not move to taste it. Rather he looked closer at the boy, noticing that the well-worn clothes he was wearing were several sizes too large and that he did not have anything on his head, despite the snow that was still falling. Then his eyes met a pair of startling green eyes. His breath caught in his throat for a moment.

As Severus watched the boy ate first the gingerbread man, briefly closing his eyes as he enjoyed the taste, and then moved on the one of the cupcakes in the bag. He could not tear his eyes away from the boy now when he had looked at him properly, for the first time. There was something about that boy, something that seemed familiar, and yet … Those eyes were just like Lily’s, but this boy couldn’t possibly be hers, could he?

“Boy! Get over here, we’re leaving!”

At the call the boy startled, looking over at the parking lot where a woman was standing next to one of the cars, looking out over the park.

“Oh. I’ve got to go.”

Hesitantly the boy looked at the bag in his arms.

“Here,” he said, handing the bag to Severus. “You can have what’s left. Then you won’t have to be sad about Father Christmas anymore.”

With a last, wide smile the boy ran off towards his aunt, leaving a baffled Severus to stare after him