The Summer We Went Mental by Whitetail
Summary: Being sent to stay in a psychiatric ward at St. Mungo’s isn’t exactly the most enjoyable way to spend a summer, so naturally, Harry’s pretty angry when he finds out that’s his destination, regardless of whether or not it might be good for him. Facing a full summer of being cut off from the Order’s plans, Harry’s even taken to envying Snape, because at least Snape knows what is going on. But when Harry arrives at St. Mungo’s and discovers that a fire has changed his destination from the teen ward to the adult ward, everything is turned upside down. Enter his roommate - suicidal, depressed, and none other than Severus Snape. They are both willing to bet that their summer will be a total disaster, and maybe it will be, but even the surest of gamblers are not always right.
Categories: Snape Equal Status to Harry > Comrades Snape and Harry Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Dumbledore, Original Character, Remus
Snape Flavour: Snape is Depressed
Genres: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Media Type: None
Tags: Hospitalization
Takes Place: 6th summer
Warnings: Self-harm, Suicide Themes
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 35 Completed: Yes Word count: 109245 Read: 221856 Published: 14 Feb 2014 Updated: 03 May 2015
Burning Midnight by Whitetail

Harry hated to admit it, but he was actually having fun. Neither he nor Snape felt like going out. Harry had wondered why Snape was staying in the room for some time, until Snape finally confessed to him over a game of cards that Daisy had snapped at him, and he really had no idea why.

"Women," Snape had said.

Harry had snorted with laughter, hastily explaining that he had reminded him of Ron whenever Hermione did something emotional and confusing.

"Well, I suppose some conversation with her friend did not go well, but that doesn't give her a right to get mad at me," Snape continued irritably, laying down his hand and accepting the stack of chocolate frog cards Harry had lost.

Technically they were all Snape's in the first place, as the few staff at Hogwarts, who were on good enough terms with Snape to know what had happened, pitched a gift basket together for him. It had arrived in the mail earlier that day, addressed to a pseudonym Snape recognized. Harry had spent part of the afternoon following the pet therapy session laughing as Snape systematically released the chocolate frogs into the corridor on a lark, as neither of the two had wanted the chocolate. It had caused plenty of confusion, and had one of the Trainee Healers running ragged trying to catch them.

Later, out of boredom, they had decided to start up a game of poker to decide who got the cards. Neither really gave a damn who got them. Harry just liked the idea of gambling under the healers' noses, and Snape too seemed to like this as well.

Getting along was a very strange thing to Harry, but he supposed that considering the incident with Stephen's parents and Daisy's snappy mood, they would have to find somebody else to spend time with or die of boredom. Or worse, attend activities that neither of them felt like going to. So far, Harry was surprised they hadn't killed each other. It wasn't half bad.

Despite the surprising ease of the conversation with Snape, Harry still wished he knew what to say to Stephen, who so far was still avoiding Harry. Harry felt awful about the whole thing, but he reminded himself that people in a mental ward were bound to be a bit pissy and temperamental from time to time, something Snape had pointed out to him earlier. Surprisingly, that comment above all else had helped Harry's mood the most.

"I just realized ... I'm skiving with my Professor," muttered Harry. "I mean, technically we are supposed to go to activities."

"At least we have a good excuse," Snape muttered.

"Er ... what excuse?" Harry asked, amused. "Poker?"

"Not too bright, are you?" Snape drawled. "Obviously, Potter, we are completely ..." - he lay down three chocolate frog cards to begin the betting - "mental."

Harry snorted with laughter, staring down at his hand. Terrible again. Oh well - he'd just have to bluff his way through this round. He glanced up at Snape, and to his amazement there was a dim twinkle in Snape's eye, not unlike that of Dumbledore's, although much less noticeable.

Time passed. The card game deteriorated when Harry ran out of chocolate frog cards. Winning in poker against a spy was damned near impossible. Snape said he could keep the cards anyway, though, to Harry's shock.

"I haven't any use for them, and no doubt you haven't got that big of a collection," said Snape with a shrug. "Living with muggles and all."

The day ended with them lying on their beds and eating the evening snack that had been set out in the dining area (Harry had gone on a reconnaissance mission to get it). It was roommate night, so no evening activities were scheduled. The idea was for the snack to be brought back to your room so you could get to know your roommate. Harry found that pretty funny considering that was what he and Snape had basically been doing all day, weirdly enough. They kitchen had made some sort of spicy dip for vegetables, and Harry munched happily on his carrots.

"I feel ... kind of normal," Harry said thoughtfully through a mouthful of carrot.

"How is this normal?" Snape asked as he reached over to the bedside table and grabbed another carrot. "It's like a slumber party for nut cases."

Harry snorted, choking on a bit of carrot. After a moment, he recovered and said, "Well, it isn't normal, but it sort of feels ... okay. I mean, I feel okay. I don't know ... do you get what I mean?"

Snape frowned for a moment. He nodded.

"Never thought I would be on the same page as you, Potter," he muttered to himself.

Harry frowned after a minute. "Why is making friends so hard?"

"What?" Snape asked, clearly confused at the abrupt change of subject.

"Sorry ... it's just ... I wish Stephen would quit acting like an idiot. Sure, I guess I messed up but it's not my fault his parents are the way they are. At first I felt really guilty, but I was just trying to help. He's being a moron about the whole thing." Harry sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't go try and make up after all. Probably better without him."

Snape frowned for a moment.

"Everyone can be morons from time to time," said Snape thoughtfully. Snape sighed slightly. "If I were you ..."

"There's a weird statement if I've ever heard," Harry said, amused.

Snape glared at Harry, "If I were you, I think I would go talk to him."

"What?" Harry said, surprised.

Severus Snape, least agreeable and forgiving man on earth ... and he suggests I go try and make up with someone?

"Potter, I'm the kind of person that would overreact and act stupid like Stephen, so I sort of see it from his point of view too," said Snape slowly. "The trouble is, to him, he doesn't feel like he's acting stupid, I bet. Even if he is being unfair. Some of the best friendships are lost because one person doesn't realize that their problems aren't known to the other. They think it is obvious to the other why they are acting in that manner. But the matter of fact here is that you do not know what Stephen's father has done in the past when he's disapproved of his son's choices. And he obviously does disapprove of Stephen's choices. So, considering he was assuming that you were someone more than a friend to Stephen, you do not know what kind of reaction that could have triggered in Stephen's father. Is Stephen being stubborn and obstinate? Yes. But perhaps if you just talk to him, you can find out why he is stubborn and obstinate, and hopefully work this whole fiasco out. If not, then at least you tried and can lay it to rest."

Harry stared.

Snape's eyes had grown dim again, and he looked away from Harry.

"I was stubborn and stupid, and that was why I lost your mother as a friend," he said after a long moment of consideration. "I made the mistake of thinking she understood my motives for some things. I didn't tell her what really mattered about my past. It does not excuse my behaviour, however, in joining the Death Eaters. But if I hadn't kept quiet about everything that was going on with me, perhaps I wouldn't have felt the need to join after all. Stephen's stubborn behaviour seems similar ... I think. Less dark, of course. But don't give up on him as a friend just yet. Give him a chance to explain. Then make your decision. Whatever it may be."

"Why did you join the Death Eaters?" Harry whispered.

Snape looked at Harry for a second. He seemed like he was trying to force himself to say it, but he fell silent.

At last, he shook his head, looking disappointed with himself.

"We should sleep," muttered Snape.

"Sorry - it was a really personal question," Harry said quietly.

Snape shook his head again, dismissing Harry's apology.

In silence, they brushed their teeth, and Harry felt just how strange it was that this was normal now.

As they took turns rinsing their toothbrushes, the silence was broken, but not by Harry.

"I got my nose broken when I was fourteen," Snape said, his words coming out slowly and deliberately, like he was forcing them. Harry looked over at Snape in surprise, not sure what he was getting at. "That is why it is crooked."

"Why didn't you get it healed?" Harry said, confused as to why Snape would mention it at all, or how it related to anything.

The words came out hesitantly, as they had been doing since Snape began to speak.

"It got broken over the summer," he muttered, staring into the mirror, his skin pale. "There was no point in getting it fixed. It would have gotten broken the next summer too."

Harry nodded, feeling the blood drain from his own face. Snape fled the bathroom before Harry could speak, which was just as well because Harry didn't know what to say. All he could think of were his own summers. His own family ... his own hell. And when Harry finally left the bathroom as well the lights were off and Snape was in bed.

Harry lay down in his own bed, noting the absence of Snape's quiet snores.

Harry saw it now. The first true piece of insight as to why Snape was here. The part of Snape that had gotten him here. He didn't know what the specifics were, but a brick had fallen, and behind it was a glimpse of something dark. Something painful, and most of all, it was a glimpse at someone human.

***

 

Severus lay awake a long time, terrified. The hint was out. Potter would fill in the blanks. He didn't need more than that.

Potter had finally drifted to sleep, but this knowledge that Potter could not say anything back did not lull Severus into slumber as well. For, now, it was up to Potter to reciprocate. Give a little, get a lot. That was what Severus was hoping. He had a feeling Potter had kept whatever had been going on at his relatives' home very secret. Silence did not disperse into nothingness. Silence created a wall, and when that wall broke, emotions hot like fire spilt out.

That was what Severus had learned here. He'd done some serious talking with the healers. He'd only really grazed the surface of his own childhood, and it had been like pulling glass from deep within his side. Maybe Potter had said something to his healer, Richard. However painful that would be, Severus hoped so, for the first thing to do tomorrow when Dumbledore visited was to tell him to speak with Richard about the matter to see what he knew. Severus was willing to bet Potter had at the very least let something slip. Nothing had been done yet, obviously. It was very possible Richard knew something about what was going on, but was waiting for Harry to be stronger to deal with the repercussions of bringing it to the light.

Severus sighed deeply.

This wasn't going to be easy. At last, he let sleep fall over him.

Dreams surrounded him. It was an awful world howling winds, a fearful and single wailing voice crying out in the midst of them. The sun burned low on the horizon and sand whipped through what became a vast, burning desert. Daisy's hair rippled through the sand in the wind, disappearing before he could call out for her to wait for him.

The heat of the sun ignited the dry, brushy plants along the desert bluffs. The smoke was choking, and Severus' eyes watered. He fell to his knees. Someone was screaming even louder now in the distance with harsh, terrified tones. They filled him with fear, though he knew not why.

As though no time had passed at all, Severus awoke in his bed, sweat drenching him. Groggily, he looked around, his ears ringing from the memory of the screams.

Only it wasn't a memory. They were still there. The screaming was an alarm, and Severus smelled smoke.

The End.
End Notes:
Hello folks! Wow, summer is almost over ... Well, hope you guys like the chapter. *Dodges hexes*. Yeah ... cliffhanger ... sorry ... Update will come though ... but not until September probably. Going on a road trip!


This story archived at http://www.potionsandsnitches.org/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=3022