S.S.

"Where do you think you're going?" Severus asked as Harry made to leave after hastily sliding his essay across the kitchen table. Harry had made a decent effort to write the essay he'd requested when he found out that he could earn back the right to go to Hogsmeade. Severus was surprised he'd waited until the day before the holidays were to finish to hand it over, but he took it to mean that Harry had taken it seriously.

"I don't have to sit here while you read it, do I?"

"Obviously you do. How else are we going to talk about it?"

"What?" Harry looked appalled at the prospect, as if it was akin to torture having to discuss his work with him.

"Feel free to leave, but I can't guarantee you'll make it to Hogsmeade in October."

"Fine," Harry conceded ungraciously, thumping down into the seat opposite and swinging his leg nervously.

Severus took his time reading. It took a moment to get used to reading Harry's untidy scrawl again, but he'd gotten almost too familiar with it when correcting his homework earlier in the summer, so it was largely simple to decipher once you got past some of Harry's creative spelling. Honestly, a child of his age should not be spelling 'responsibility' with an `a`.

"I don't like the way you've written this," he said as he came to the end of the first sheet of parchment. "It was not the fact that you were fighting that was the main problem. I warned you not to speak to Draco. I told you that he would provoke you and you did not listen."

"I know, I wrote it down. Look," Harry said, leaning cross the table to point to where he'd written about the exchange.

"No, you wrote that I was angry that you were fighting when I warned you not to. For the most part I was angry because I gave you a serious instruction regarding your safety and security and you ignored me. You forced me into a position where I had to jeopardise the trust you placed in me when you said I was the person you were most likely to confide in."

"I still trust you," Harry replied, looking a little confused.

"You also forced me to reveal that there was a possibility of you being taken from your guardians," Severus continued.

"But you were going to do that anyway."

"That doesn't matter. If we choose one plan for your security I expect you to stick to it," he replied forcefully. "We cannot afford to make mistakes. This time it may not matter, but think Harry. What did Draco say to goad you?"

"He said stuff about the Dursleys and you and my mum. About you all not wanting me." Harry's voice was low, most likely from embarrassment. He spoke staring at his parchment, fiddling with the corner so that it creased and wouldn't roll up as it had once done.

After a moment Severus replied. "Your mother loved you, you know that."

"I know," Harry sighed. "But he'd just said about the Dursleys and you and I just–"

"It was not my intention to make you feel unwanted," Severus interrupted quietly.

"I know."

"My point, Harry," he continued, "Is that Draco might have understood that the idea that I did not want you could hurt you."

Harry nodded. "That would have been bad, I guess. Couldn't you just say that it's all an act?"

"No. I'm going to be acting as a spy for the Dark Lord. He could ask me to manipulate you and I will not."

"So you weren't mad at me for fighting with Malfoy just because it was Malfoy?" Yet again Harry's new-found jealousy of Draco reared its head. Severus' lips thinned in irritation.

"You're not to fight with anyone, least of all the son of a Death Eater. I'm not angry with you merely because it was Draco. I know he provoked you and I know full well that he hurt you, physically as well, and I am not pleased, but that is not relevant to you."

"…think it is," Harry said under his breath.

"How much I am pleased or displeased with Draco has no bearing on our relationship. I do not even know how this jealousy of yours began but it is enough now. I want it to stop. I'm trying to discuss your behaviour and yet again we are discussing Draco instead." Honestly, the child needed the same thing drilled into his head repeatedly before it had the slightest hope of getting in there.

"All right. So I need to change that bit then?" Harry asked, pulling the parchment towards him so that he could read what he had written.

"Do you understand what I said to you?" Severus asked, instead of answering his question.

"Yeah. You weren't just mad at me because it was Malfoy. You're mad because I made you have to speak to the Malfoys and I could have made it obvious that I want you to… you know, be my guardian and want me around and stuff."

"Look at me. If I give you an instruction it is because I want to keep you safe. You need to listen to me."

"I know. I wasn't trying to break your rules or put myself in danger or whatever, I just got angry."

"Then you need to learn to control your emotions," Severus said, trying to control his own. He detested it when Harry made excuses for his behaviour. A thought occurred to him, possibly a little ambitious, but it could work. "Perhaps I have a solution for your problem."

"What solution?" Harry replied, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"Occlumency. It's a very advanced form of mind magic. I wouldn't normally suggest it, especially considering your age, but just practising may help to get your anger under control. You've mastered the patronus charm?" he verified.

"Yeah."

He nodded, thinking it over. He wouldn't expect Harry to master the art but merely practising clearing his mind would help him to be less volatile. Not to mention it may well break down barriers that would allow him to confide in Severus. Although knowing that he may well have access to his thoughts might make him more than apprehensive about trying. "Let me finish this. We'll discuss occlumency later."

"You've written well about keeping your wand safe and within reach," he conceded as he continued reading.

"I'm not stupid. I just didn't think I'd need to worry at the Quidditch World Cup."

"Your wand is your means of defence, not just a stick that you use to perform magic. The Dark Lord wants to kill you. I need to know that I can leave you alone and that you won't be completely defenceless."

"I thought I was safe though," Harry replied as if that was a valid reason.

"You do not have the liberty of complete safety. I don't think I need to labour the point?"

"No, I get it."

"I realise you were put in a difficult situation regarding my reputation, but it is imperative that you do not come to my defence. Absolutely imperative. All you needed to do was defend yourself. I would not have taught you dark magic because you have no interest in learning it."

"Right," Harry acquiesced easily. At least he was taking that on board. It was perhaps too much to ask of him to be able to think quickly without direction in such a situation but hopefully at least for the future he'd be able to use whatever common sense he possessed.

"This is unacceptable," he said, just as he finished the entire essay. Harry had no difficulty knowing what exactly he found objectionable leading Severus to believe he'd at least written the rest of the essay honestly, not just writing what he thought he ought to write in order to be allowed out on his trips.

"I tell my friends everything, sir," Harry replied with a shrug.

"You will not tell them that you live here with me. Do not fight me on this," he warned.

"They're trustworthy. I need to tell my friends," Harry insisted, his eyes wide, imploring.

"Too many people know already. You have the wolf and your godfather to speak to should you need to discuss our living arrangements," Severus replied shortly.

"They won't tell anyone," Harry insisted.

"They will not because they won't know," Severus said, allowing a hard edge to creep into his voice and replace the calm tone he'd adopted. "A few weeks ago I could not trust you to take the threat on your life seriously enough and you expect me to entrust important information to two more teenagers? No, Harry. Even if they are trustworthy they could be tricked or captured by the Dark Lord or his followers. Good intentions are not enough."

"But you've already told the Malfoys that I don't live at the Dursleys." Harry's voice was taking on its own edge. It was creeping dangerously towards becoming a whine and it set Severus' teeth on edge.

"No, I've given him the idea that you aren't happy with your relatives, that the headmaster has sent you back unwillingly and he has considered not sending you back at all. Should the Dark Lord ever find out that you aren't in their care then it will appear as if I gave them information about it. It merely strengthens my position as a spy."

"Fine!" Harry replied ungraciously. "Can I go to Hogsmeade then?"

"Your tone, Harry," Severus warned him shortly.

Harry huffed out his breath, obviously still irritated. "Sorry. Can I go to Hogsmeade, Professor?"

"Sir or Severus, but yes," he replied. "Harry, give me any hint that I cannot trust you to follow my instructions. That includes confiding in your friends when I've explicitly forbidden it, and you will be banned from Hogsmeade. Permanently. Are we clear?"

"Yes," Harry replied, obviously still irritated but making a quick exit, no doubt to have a sulk somewhere far away from Severus.

Blasted child.

---

H.P.

Later that morning Snape sat him down for a talk about occlumency. He was glad he didn't have to wait until school started because he'd have just asked Hermione what it was and no doubt even that would make him go mental. Harry doubted that Snape could appreciate how difficult it was for him to hide all this from his friends. It meant he had to lie about everything. He had to invent things to write in his letters to them over the summer and that just felt wrong.

"Occlumency is a very difficult art, a form of mind magic that blocks your memories from anyone seeking to retrieve them."

"People can read minds? Can you?" he asked suspiciously. He'd always had a feeling with Snape.

"It is not mind reading in that sense but it is possible for certain wizards to gain access to another's mind using legilimency," he responded delicately.

"Can you though?" 

"I can but that is neither here nor there."

"You've never–?"

"Invaded your mind? Believe me, you'd have noticed," Snape replied darkly before continuing in a more controlled, teacher-like manner. "The reason I want to teach you the basics of occlumency is because in order to keep your memories protected and hidden you need to master your emotions."

"Then how come you can do it? I'm not trying to make you mad but you do sort of go mental sometimes."

"Go mental," Snape repeated, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, you do," Harry replied defensively. It was a fair question.

"I've mastered the art of occlumency. I am quite adept. I have the liberty of being able to occlude whilst at the same time 'going mental'."

"Who am I hiding my memories from?" 

"Anyone who would try to use them against you. That isn't the point of this exercise for you; I merely want to help you control your temper."

"Okay then."

"There is something else. If I were to test your barriers in order to ensure you were completing the exercise, I would almost certainly gain access to your memories." Snape spoke seriously and was watching him as if expecting him to get angry.

"If I'm just practising to control my temper why do you need to read my mind?"

"Occlumency is about blocking the invasion. You cannot learn it without being tested or getting practice. I'm not going to force you to learn it, not now, but I think it would be a useful exercise."

"What do you mean, not now?"

"It may be necessary for you to learn it later; the Dark Lord is a skilled legilimens." It occurred to Harry how much danger that would put Snape in when it came to him spying again. He could be betrayed by his own mind!

"You want to see my memories though," Harry said after a moment.

"Yes. You know I'd like you to discuss your childhood."

"This isn't discussing it though; this is you seeing stuff."

"Snippets of memories, nothing more. I will not be searching your mind, just testing your barrier. If I were to ask you to open up to me about your life with your relatives, could you?"

Harry scrunched his face up in distaste. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't know how to talk about it. I don't know what you want me to say. Why does it matter about the details?"

"The fact that they kept you in a cupboard is hugely important. The fact that you had food withheld from you is important. What if I was the type of man who would lock you in your room as punishment or send you to bed without dinner?"

"You wouldn't," Harry replied with certainty. That just wasn't Severus.

"Some people do," he replied simply, though he looked disapproving at the concept. "I need to know so that I can look after you how you deserve to be looked after. And I need you to talk about it because it's not healthy to bury that kind of abuse away in your mind."

"I thought you wanted me to bury my memories away," Harry asked, aware that he was being difficult.

"From people trying to invade your mind, it's not a bad idea. This isn't the same thing at all. We could deal with each memory as it arose."

Harry sighed and considered the prospect. He was no closer to wanting to talk about anything; he didn't even know where to start or what to say. He didn't want to do it like this either, but if it was to learn occlumency and he might have to do it later then maybe…

"What if… What if I gave it a go but if I don't like it we can stop?" 

"I said that I wouldn't force you. If you don't want to do it then we won't. If you decide to try, then later you don't want to do it any more, then we won't," he replied simply.

"Fine then… I'll try it." Snape looked pleased at his answer which strangely enough made him glad he'd agreed to it.

"Now?"

"Okay," Harry agreed.

S.S.

He had Harry merely sit quietly to begin with and he instructed him to empty his mind. That was where they hit the first problem.

"I don't get how to clear my mind. How can you just think of nothing?" Harry complained after barely a minute in silence.

"You aren't thinking of nothing; you just aren't thinking," Severus replied. "Shut your eyes," he ordered. It was difficult teaching someone who couldn't even wrap their mind around the first step.

For Severus it had been instinctual, locking away his memories and thoughts and feelings became a ritual and then a habit, so learning occlumency had come as natural as breathing to him.

"How can you just not think? Everyone thinks all the time."

"You seem to spend a good deal of your time not thinking, perhaps you can revisit our potions lessons in your mind," Severus suggested acerbically.

"No, thanks."

"Eyes closed. Start by putting away your memories. You can think, you can hear me talking but you have no past. There's nothing but what you can sense now." He waited a moment to allow Harry to try and to see if he'd give up and question him again. When he made no move to speak Severus continued. "Now you can't think, you can hear things but you don't need to think about it, they just are." He let Harry be for a minute or two until Harry stirred himself.

"Makes you sleepy," he said, not lifting his head from where he was resting.

"I suppose your mind is fairly blank just before you fall asleep," Severus conceded. "Try it again, but this time I'm going to test you to see if you've succeeded."

Harry shut his eyes but after half a minute opened them again. "I can't concentrate now," he said, eyeing Severus' wand as if he was about to legilimise him at any moment.

"I don't want you to concentrate; I want you to clear your mind."

"All right, I can't do it 'cause I keep expecting you to try to read my mind."

Severus decided to ignore Harry's phrasing. If he wanted to call it mind reading despite him saying that wasn't what it was, then so be it. "I'm not going to try to break into your mind with force." He tried not to sound frustrated that Harry was anxious. It was only natural considering he was probably expecting him to make some move to attempt to see his past.

He gave Harry some time to settle back down before he probed at his mind. Initially, it seemed that Harry had done something, but the moment Harry sensed the intrusion any barrier to his mind, however thin, disappeared, and Severus all but fell into Harry's memories.

He saw flashes of things, glimpses of his relatives, his friends at Hogwarts, even himself before he managed to pull himself out.

"You said you wouldn't try to get in," Harry said, obviously annoyed.

"I didn't try. You dropped your barrier. I saw nothing, not for more than a second."

"Really?"

"If you want to continue with this then get used to the idea that I will see things. You had achieved something. You seemed to have pushed your memories and thoughts away but you have no real barrier or control. I could break through it with ease. In fact, the moment you sensed my presence you let me in. Occlumency is very much about being able to separate your thoughts and memories from your conscious self, but you need to be able to do it constantly or at a moments notice and then you need to hold that barrier up."

Harry looked at him as if he'd gone mad. "I don't expect you to be able to do it now. I want you to practice clearing your mind so that you know what it feels like. Once you can separate yourself from your thoughts and memories with ease, we'll move on."

"When you were spying before, wasn't Voldemort suspicious that you were blocking your mind?" Harry asked, frowning.

"A truly competent occlumens can feed false images or make it appear as if he is not as adept as he is. The Dark Lord was not aware that I was occluding in his presence." He put extra stress on the name to warn Harry that he wasn't going to tolerate hearing him use that name again. The child was too stubborn sometimes. It was the headmaster's influence that caused Harry to throw the name about so carelessly.

---

H.P.

Harry double checked his trunk in his room as per Severus' instructions. This was actually the third time he'd had to do it; Severus insisted he do it all over again whenever he found something lying around that Harry hadn't noticed.

He was excited to go to Hogwarts and see his friends again. It was rubbish that quidditch was cancelled this year for some tournament that he was too young to even take part in though.

Only, he wasn't going to be able to see Snape much apart from in class and he was going to have to go back to being horrible to again, at least in front of everyone else. Maybe with these Occlumency lessons Snape wanted him to do, he'd have more of a reason to go visit him.

It wasn't that he was a child and couldn't bear to be away from him, but he didn't want him to forget that they got on. He wouldn't bring up school again with Snape though, in case he started banging on about being discreet and checking letters before he sends them out and how to be subtle...

It wasn't just that Snape felt he needed to say it all at least once a day for the last week but he said it in a way that made it obvious he didn't think Harry would manage it. At least he could go to Hogsmeade this year. Well, at least he could go without getting in a lot of trouble.

"Sir? What's for dinner?" Harry asked, leaning up against the counter next to where he was writing. He wasn't trying to get his attention, not much... He had thought Snape might actually spend a bit of time with him seeing as it was the last night of the holidays. He hadn't even taken him to the flying pitch today or anything.

"Choose," he responded, flicking a stack of flyers across the counter to Harry.

"We're having a take away?" Harry asked, leafing through all of them. "I thought we couldn't have stuff delivered here because of the wards."

"I'm going to fetch it myself. I have no intention of being here for the next hour or so," Snape answered, ignoring the look of confusion on Harry's face. "Choose," he insisted again.

---

"Behave yourself," Snape said as the floo flared to life.

Remus' voice floated out from the living room. "We've arrived. Is that announcement enough?" he asked, his voice laced with humour.

"We?" Harry asked before his face split into a wide grin and he dashed out to the living room to see if it was in fact Sirius with Remus.

"Hi Harry. It's good to see you again," Sirius said smiling warmly. He looked a little more worn and tired than he had before, probably because he wasn't allowed to stay with Remus. He'd mentioned having to live rough and keep moving but he still looked better than when he first met him.

"I didn't think I'd get to see you for ages." He could barely believe he was seeing him now. Snape actually let him come over! "Did you get my last letter?"

"I've got all your letters," he replied happily.

"I'm under strict instructions not to feed you again. Have you already eaten?" Remus asked by way of a greeting.

"No, Severus is getting take out," Harry replied, turning to look for him. "Sir?" he called, poking his head back into the kitchen, which was empty. "Oh, I think he's gone."

"So, tell me what you've been doing here then," Sirius said, making himself comfortable in Harry's usual seat, though he suddenly looked a lot less happy than before and he shot Remus a look that Harry couldn't quite fathom.

"Umm, not a lot. I go flying quite a bit. Severus takes me to this big public pitch and I use that snitch he got me. Did Remus tell you about the Quidditch World Cup?" he added with a little trepidation. He was unsure why he was nervous mentioning it; he had thought that Sirius would be on his side after all.

"Yeah, he said you'd gotten yourself in some trouble," Sirius replied vaguely.

"Did you make it sound really bad?" Harry asked Remus.

"Feel free to tell Sirius yourself," Remus replied, gesturing vaguely between the two of them.

"Fine, I'll tell it. You can't get mad at me though, I've already been told off by Snape and Remus." For some reason Sirius suddenly looked a little less irritated than before.

"I didn't tell you off. I just said that you did something wrong," Remus contradicted him.

"Well, you agreed with Snape anyway," Harry replied dismissively. It was the same thing in his book.

"Really?" Sirius asked, sending a surprised look at his friend.

"Let Harry tell you about it. Where's the television gone?"

"Snape put it away. He said that I'd survived the whole summer without it and I didn't need to use the last few days of the holidays to turn my brain to mush… or something like that."

---

Harry was just considering how long it really took for a wizard to go and get some Chinese food when it began.

"Oh, ow, ow," Harry yelped, his hands flying up to his forehead as pain suddenly seared from his scar and straight through his skull. He could think of nothing but the pain, forgetting at once where he was and who he was with. It was like his head was being split in two. "Snape!" Harry called. He was usually there already. Where was he?

"What's the matter?" He heard rather than saw Remus ask.

"My scar–" he mumbled, clutching his head. "Get Snape."

"He needs a pain reliever. Remus, get a potion." Sirius' voice was tinged with panic. Harry's legs gave out and he buried his head in his hands, taking in loud, harsh gasps of air. Where was Snape? He needed Snape. Why was no one getting him?

"Harry, it's all right," Sirius began, reaching out to comfort him.

"No, I need Snape," Harry bit out from behind gritted teeth, shrugging him off. Another tortured moan escaped him.

"It's going to be fine. Remus is getting you a pain reliever."

S.S.

Just as Severus was returning to Spinner's End he felt the wards on his potions store flare. Someone was breaking them down! He came in stealthily through the front door, ready to surprise whichever of the fools thought they could break into his private stores.

Just as he was about to demand just what exactly was going on, he heard a noise that had made his chest clench painfully.

"SNAPE–"

"He's not here, Harry," Black said as though he'd had to repeat himself.

The sight that met him when he entered the living room made his blood run cold. He'd done this with those damned occlumency lessons. Harry was taking in sharp gasps of air from the floor, rocking slightly, hands covering his forehead.

"Get him then," Harry replied to Black, who was doing nothing to stop Harry clawing at his head. Snape summoned a pain reliever from the stores he was certain Lupin had been trying to get into, grimacing as it took a moment to arrive and Harry called his name again.

"Move," he hissed the moment the vial touched his fingers. Black might have said something in reply, but if he did Severus didn't hear, so focused as he was on Harry, whose head lifted for the first time since Severus had entered the room.

Trickles of blood dripped from Harry's forehead between his fingers and Severus' heart tightened painfully again. He should never have tried teaching him occlumency.

"My head–" Harry started, eyes wide. Tears streamed down his face.

Severus immediately dropped to his knees. "Swallow," he instructed, holding a vial of pain reliever to Harry's lips. "A bit more, head back." He used his hand to support the back of Harry's head in an effort to get the last drops from the vial into his mouth. He didn't know how much good the pain reliever would do, but he suspected it could at least make it bearable.

"Hands down," he ordered to try to stop him doing any more damage to his scar. When Harry didn't comply, he pulled them down and held them tightly in one of his own to stop the child scratching at himself, and remained holding Harry's head in the other. Harry scrunched up his eyes and groaned.

"Accio flannel." The moment his hand left Harry's head, the child looked for other means of support, and he ended up leaning against Severus. "Aguamenti," Severus murmured, wetting the flannel and hoping the potion was working. "Lean back. I need to see your scar."

When Harry made no attempt to do so, he prised Harry away from his chest and leaned him back against the bottom of the armchair. His scar was blazing a deep blood red and bleeding cuts surrounded it. Severus placed the flannel over it just to stop Harry hurting himself further. He was well aware that it could give little more than slight comfort.

"Why hasn't it worked?" Lupin asked from somewhere over his shoulder.

"Is it only your scar or your whole head?" Severus asked, ignoring Lupin's question. He squeezed Harry's hands to get his attention, turning the flannel over so that the cool side was against his head. Tears were still leaking out of Harry's eyes and his teeth were gritted. Severus brushed his thumb in small circles against the hands he was holding.

"Both. Head, scar," Harry managed. He took in a deep breath, almost convulsing in pain and tried to lift his hands again. Severus increased the pressure of the flannel pressed against his head.

"Lupin– the salve on the top shelf," he tossed out quickly to save himself having to release Harry.

"What's wrong with him?" Black asked.

"Is the pain lessening?" Severus asked Harry. Either the potion would settle in his system and work or Harry would have to ride out the pain.

"No."

Harry turned abruptly to the side and threw up. Severus wiped his face with the damp flannel and summoned another pain reliever. He heard someone breathe out a quick evanesco.

"Swallow." He held the second pain reliever to Harry's lips just as he'd done with the first, hoping Harry wouldn't throw the second one up. He needed it in his system if it was going to have any effect. He never thought that Harry would have this strong a reaction to the occlumency practice, but he should have factored in the fact that his scar had bothered him previously. He should have been more careful.

"Snape, what's wrong with him?"

"Shut up, Black!" He couldn't just sit and wait to see if the potion would work or if it would stop of its own accord. "Harry, I need you to try to clear your mind again." In the absence of a cloth for his head Harry automatically tried to raise his hands but Severus held them firmly in place.

"Couldn't do it earlier," Harry muttered, leaning forward to press his head against the closest thing to him. Severus shifted to the side to let him lean more comfortably against him and held the back of his head in place with his free hand.

"Breathe in time with me," he instructed, releasing Harry's hands and wrapping an arm around his shoulder to support him better, his hand resuming the circular motion he'd begun earlier. His heart was hammering. If Harry couldn't help himself and the potion had no effect he had no idea how long an episode like this could continue. Harry's hands gripped Snape's robes, pulling on the collar so that the edge cut into Severus' neck. Severus shifted to hold him more securely, trying to slow his breathing and count Harry's breaths.

After a minute Harry's breathing became regular and he seemed to relax slightly. He couldn't be sure whether it was because the episode had stopped or Harry had succeeded in clearing his mind, but Severus let him remain undisturbed until the child had relaxed completely. He stilled his hand against the back of Harry's head. "Don't fall asleep," he warned.

H.P.

"I'm not," Harry mumbled against Severus' shoulder drowsily. He was quite comfortable where he was, until he heard a throat being cleared above him that definitely wasn't Snape's.

"'S better. Thanks," he said, pulling away and rubbing his eyes slightly, pretending that he hadn't just been snivelling like a child against Snape.

"Don't move. The pain is gone completely?" Snape said, tilting his chin up to inspect his head.

"No, still hurts a bit, like a headache and my scar's a bit–"

"Stop irritating your scar or I'll stick your hands to the floor," Snape threatened and Harry jerked his hands down. He hadn't realised he was rubbing at his scar. Remus held out a small jar of greenish looking paste and Snape reached out to take it.

Harry caught sight of Sirius' face. He was scowling down at Snape and the effect was quite intimidating. He looked like the wanted posters that had been up after he escaped from Azkaban.

"Look this way. I need to heal your forehead," he said, though he turned Harry's head himself as though he was incapable of independent movement.

"My scar's bleeding?"

"You cut your head scratching at it. Up," Severus commanded once he'd finished dabbing the paste onto his head. Harry made to stand but it seemed Snape had said it as more of a warning and scooped him up himself and put him on the sofa.

"Professor– Severus, sorry– I can stand!"

"You're not going to be standing any time soon. You're going to sit right there."

---

Harry and Remus were silent as Snape and Sirius argued just slightly out of earshot in the kitchen. Harry sighed. He hadn't been able to look at Remus or Sirius since Snape had ordered him to remain where he was. God, he'd cried. Well, not sobbing, but there had been tears and he'd been clinging on to Snape like a toddler and he'd called for him, more than once. It was so embarrassing.

What was worse was that he'd enjoyed being held by Snape and the man was only ever like that when he was sick, really sick, but there was this irritating feeling in the back of his mind saying that he still needed Snape now and he really just wished he could have had Snape sit with him for a little bit longer.

"You think I haven't looked after him before? I am perfectly capable–" came Snape's shout, his incredulity making his voice audible.

"I know what you're capable of Snape!"

"You're an awfully lucky young man," Remus said suddenly.

"Am I?"

"There are two men in there fighting because they both want to take care of you," he said. "I'd better go in before it gets any worse." Harry nodded, not feeling as lucky as Remus seemed to think he should.

"Remus? Can you get me a glass of water?" he called out suddenly.

"Severus, sorry, can I have a word with Sirius for a moment? Oh and Harry wants some water."

"I know he does. I can hear him," Snape bit out, stomping back into the living room where Harry was resting on the sofa. "Wake up," he growled. Harry blinked blearily and saw Snape holding out a glass of water, his face set in a dark scowl that mirrored Sirius' earlier. "You can't fall asleep. There's a strong chance that the pain will start again."

Harry didn't reply but took the water and drank it thirstily.

"I think it's time we were leaving. I hope you feel better soon," Remus said in a falsely cheery voice that made everyone even more aware of the tension between the other two men.

Sirius didn't look happy at the prospect of leaving but he nodded and came to kneel beside Harry. "If you ever need anything, anything at all, ask me. I'm your godfather."

"I know," Harry replied, appalled to feel his voice so thick in his throat. Sirius was looking even more reluctant to leave and Harry found himself looking up at Snape and Remus for help. "I'll write to you soon," he offered.

Sirius, his godfather and his father's best friend, was in front of him wanting him to go to him and rely on him, and he was sitting on the sofa of a man who hated his father feeling sorry for himself because he, for some unknown reason, really wanted a hug.

How ridiculous. He wanted a hug from Snape because he had a bit of a headache.

"All right," Sirius sighed. "Bye kiddo."

"Bye."

S.S.

Severus watched Harry carefully through the exchange. He seemed... off and Severus was unsure whether it was caused by his falling ill or the fact that he would miss Black while he was at Hogwarts. It would be the first time he had gone to school since finding out the man was his godfather. Perhaps he was feeling just as melancholy as he had when Severus had overheard him alone in Hogwarts.

Severus for his part was relieved as the floo changed from green back to a lifeless grate. As if Black had any idea how to look after a teenager. And as if Severus hadn't been doing just that all summer. He was perfectly able to care for Harry. It was his name he'd been calling, not Black's.

"Hungry?" he inquired and Harry shrugged. He went to fetch Harry's food nonetheless. He wasn't going to let him miss a meal.

"Severus? Thanks for letting Sirius come over," Harry said when Severus handed him his plate.

"You enjoyed the visit, aside from the ending?" he asked, trying to figure out Harry's change in mood.

"Yeah, it was good," Harry said vaguely. "I'm sorry I threw up on the floor."

"Try not to bring up vomit when I'm eating, and don't apologise for being ill." Especially if it's my fault. He couldn't bring himself to explain to Harry why he had been in so much pain a few moments before, not that Harry was in any state to hear it.

Severus let him eat in silence until Harry's eyes started drooping of their own accord. "Harry, is there any pain in your head?" he asked, taking his plate away.

"Bit, yeah."

"Eyes open," he ordered. "What kind of pain?"

"Just achy. I'm tired."

"You need to stay awake while I make some changes to the dreamless sleep potion. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, s'pose," he said, just as his eyes shut once more. Severus tilted Harry's head up slightly to get him to open his eyes again.

"If I bring down the television, will you stay awake?" Severus asked. He'd heard of parents bribing their children. Perhaps in this instance it was somewhat warranted.

H.P.

It had been ages since Snape had gone to do something to one of his potions and Harry's eyes were aching from rubbing them to stay awake. It probably didn't help that he'd burrowed into the warmest, most comfortable bit of the sofa to wait. 

"No, you don't," Snape said, pulling him up from where he was lying and holding a vial to his lips, just as he had done twice earlier that day.

"What's it?" Harry mumbled, wincing at the horrible taste.

"It was dreamless sleep but I tweaked it so that it didn't send you to sleep. I don't think you need any help with that and you've got to be up for the train tomorrow," he replied. "Come on, bed."

Just the idea of leaving the nice warm comfortable sofa made Harry groan and burrow back into it. "You either get yourself up those stairs or I will pick you up and put you to bed myself."

"All right," Harry said, dragging himself off of the chair and stumbling sleepily up to the stairs. Snape followed close behind and if Harry hadn't been too tired to care very much he would have said that the man was fussing. He moved Harry's trunk out the way, drew his curtains, fished out Harry's pyjamas, threw them at him and pulled back Harry's duvet.

"I'm going to check on you in five minutes. Be asleep."

S.S.

He gave him ten minutes really, but when he checked on Harry he was most definitely asleep. He hadn't managed to get under the covers but he'd washed up and gotten changed which was more than he'd expected. He'd half expected him to just crawl under the covers in his jeans and t-shirt. He tucked the covers around the child wondering why he was getting used to the action.