Snape embraced Harry, and Harry felt his arms creep around the man's neck in response. At some level, he cared for Snape. But he knew that everything he cared about ended up hurt or dead, and it scared the living hell of him. He had butterflies in his stomach, and, regrettably, no pesticide. He was terrified for Snape. Snape was the only adult - the only person - who had ever cared about him. The only one who had really cared about him. Sure, his uncle had said it, but his uncle had always hurt him. And the things Snape did, and the things Snape said about him, were much more satisfying than the pain his uncle had caused. The things Snape said and did comforted him. He just wanted to cry whenever he thought about it. Snape said he was good, and that he wasn't going to hurt him. Harry didn't really believe it. He wasn't that stupid. But still, hearing it felt so good. It was healing salve an inch thick on wounds that had gone too long untouched.

"Please come back," he whispered in Snape's ear.

"I will," Snape whispered back. He broke off the embrace, and stood up. He looked at Harry for a moment, as though he wished to memorize what Harry looked like. What Harry didn't know was that was exactly what Snape was doing. What Harry didn't realize was that Snape wasn't as sure about coming back as he had let on, and he wanted to be able to remember everything about Harry in case he didn't. Curtly, Snape turned on his heal, and left the room. There wasn't any point in putting Malfoy off, Severus concluded.

Harry drifted into a corner of the kitchen and sat down on the floor, pulling his knees to his chin, feeling quite miserable. When he realized this, he felt frustrated and slightly angry. He had no reason - no reason! - to feel miserable! He'd been fed for two days in a row, and he didn't have any open or hurting wounds. But he felt miserable all the same. He wanted Snape to come back. He'd never wanted another human being around him in his life, and this feeling scared him. But Snape wasn't like other humans. Maybe Snape wasn't really human?

If any of the current Hogwarts students, outside of those in Slytherin, had been witness to Harry's thoughts, they would have heartily agreed, but not for reasons that resembled Harry's at all. Harry saw Snape as something of a demi-god. The Hogwarts students saw him as the devil incarnate. Well, admittedly, he did look a bit evil. And yes, it had put Harry off of Snape in the beginning, but Snape hadn't hurt him yet. Maybe he wasn't quite as evil as he put on.

And apparently he didn't treat Nitty badly either. He had been very gentle with her when he had overheard their conversation. He hadn't spoken harshly at all really. Snape had said that he was treated badly at his relatives' house. He knew he didn't like how he was treated, but he wasn't sure he'd go so far as to call it treated badly. Sure, Snape had said that no one should be raped. But what if Snape was wrong? He didn't think Snape would lie to him, but what if he was just mistaken? What if Snape one day found out that his uncle had been right, and that he wasn't like normal people? What if Snape thought he deserved to be beaten and raped?

He began to choke back sobs. He didn't think he'd be able to live through it. Harry thought it was linked to the fact that he cared about Snape. Maybe it was because if Snape changed like that, then it would be like the Snape he cared about dying? Harry shrugged it off.

He was glad that Snape had given him that little lecture after having talked to him. He was sure Snape would push him away as dirty, contaminated. He'd gotten used to that feeling, but he still felt it. And he wondered why Snape didn't react to it. Even if he didn't believe everything in Snape's lecture - about him being good and powerful - he was glad that Snape apparently thought he was. He wanted Snape to think well of him. It would kill him the day that Snape turned his back on him. He knew the day would come when Snape would do just that. Just the thought of it made him sick. He was glad he still had the stomach calming potion in his system because he thought he would have thrown up without it.

Harry felt better about all those memories after having told Snape about them. He felt lighter, and he breathed easier. He wasn't sure why. If anything, he really should be more frightened than he was about someone knowing. He should be terrified about what Snape would think. He should be terrified about having to go back to the Dursleys and what his uncle would do to him if he knew that he had told anyone.

But this feeling - caring. It was so strange! It was good, yes, it made him feel good, but it also made him feel like he everything to lose. He had Snape to lose. When he didn't have anything he cared about, he couldn't be hurt. If it wasn't that he cared about not being in pain, even his uncle's beatings, and even being raped, wouldn't have hurt him. But now that he cared about Snape, he knew that if Snape should ever be hurt or die, he would be hurt too. And he knew it would hurt worse than anything his uncle had ever done to him. Ever.

He shouldn't care! He'd learned that long ago! Maybe he should tell Snape about what had happened the last time he cared about something. He didn't want to think about it right now, but maybe Snape would want to hear about it. He seemed to want to hear about a lot of stories. But he had learned not to care. He couldn't afford to be that vulnerable.

But no matter how he reasoned it, he still cared about Snape. And his heart hurt. He knew people said that you loved with your heart. So maybe what he felt for Snape was something like love? And he knew it would hurt, because he hadn't loved in a long, long time. And when he did once upon time, long ago, it had only been brief.

He heaved another sob. He hoped, he prayed, even though he knew God would never listen to him, that Snape would be safe, wherever he was going, whatever he was doing.

"What's wrong, Master Harry?"

Harry looked up and saw Nitty standing in front of him, looking at him with skeptical, narrow eyes. She was trying to assess why he was crying.

"Nothing," he answered, hugging his knees. "It's nothing."

"Because all you humans sits in a corner 'n' cries your eyes out over nothing," she said, but gently. "What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," Harry muttered. That was all it was. It was stupid. Caring about anyone was stupid. At least, him caring about anyone was stupid. "You wouldn't care."

"Ah, but you's wrong, Master Harry," Nitty replied. "I do care. Now, for the third time, what's wrong?"

"Fine!" Harry shouted, jumping to his feet defensively. Nitty took a step back in surprise. Sure, Harry wasn't that much bigger than she was, but still... "Fine! I care about Snape, and I can't live with that! Everything I care about dies, and Snape's going to die over at that meeting!" He had angry tears coming out of the corners of his eyes. He had his hands curled into balls. "I should never care about anything! I shouldn't care about Snape!" He turned his back to Nitty and weakly beat his fist onto the wall as he sobbed into his other arm.

"I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care." Nitty heard his quiet mantra and she felt sorry for Harry.

"Master Harry?" she questioned, but got no answer, except Harry stopped talking. "I thinks you should come to the table and eat. I made you something special!" Harry nodded at the wall, and inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself before he turned and sat down at the table. He was careful not to look at Nitty.

He'd totally blown up at her! And Snape had said to listen to her like he would listen to him! Oh, someone was going to kill him now. He'd messed up. Nitty was going to kill him. Or if she didn't, she'd tell Snape, and he would be livid. Well, he'd rather deal with Snape beating him than deal with Snape dying. He shuttered.

Nitty laid a bowl in front of him. It smelled very good. It smelled like tomatoes. Of course, he didn't know what tomatoes tasted like, but he'd cooked enough at the Dursleys to know what they smelled like. He looked at the bowl, and it held a red liquid. Tomato soup, undoubtedly. There were little white things floating in it. He looked over at Nitty who stood at his elbow anxiously.

"It's tomato rice soup, Master Harry," she said, and she looked worried. "Do you like that?"

"I -" Harry didn't know how to answer that. "I don't know." He just continued to look at the bowl.

"You gonna to try it?" Nitty said, getting annoyed. "Or you gonna turn your nose up at my food?" She huffed a bit.

"No!" Harry gasped, his eyes wide with shock.

"Whatcha waitin' for, then?" Nitty's hands were on her hips again.

"I - I," Harry stammered. "Can you eat with me?" he finally spit out. He didn't know how to eat alone really. Whenever he had been given any food, someone had always been watching him. And then when he ate with Snape, he could judge what to do when based on him. Nitty blinked at him for a minute. Even Master Severus didn't ask her to eat with him.

"You want that, Master Harry?" she gasped at him. He nodded at her from behind lowered eyelashes. Nitty got another bowl of the soup and sat down in the chair that Snape had used. They both sat there, looking at each other uncomfortably.

"Well?" Nitty demanded. "Is you gonna start eating or not?"

"Well..." Harry began. He didn't know how to handle this little creature! She was so...so snippy like Snape had said, but she wasn't mean to him. She didn't hurt him. But her words. He just didn't understand her. "I was waiting for you," he tried to explain.

"That's what I be doin'," Nitty said, her eyes narrowed in annoyance again. "You think you be a house elf? Get over yourself! You be the wizard, and I be the house elf!" Harry nodded, and nervously picked up his spoon. He began to taste the soup. It was really good. It was the best soup he'd ever had. Well, it was the only soup he'd ever had. So of course it was the best. He watched Nitty closely through his eyelashes and messy fringe. She began to eat as well.

"Will you tell Snape?" Harry finally asked, and his stomach clenched.

"Tell Master Severus what?"

"About yelling at you," Harry muttered and looked away.

"You's just had a natural reaction," Nitty assured him. "Nothin' to tell Master Severus about."

"Thank you," Harry smiled gratefully.

"The tomato will settle your stomach," she explained. "And the rice is easy to digest."

"Yes, I know," Harry said. "I can cook."

"How's did you learn?" Nitty wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing, but she had heard Master Severus explaining that Master Harry should talk. So if she could get him to talk, maybe she was doing something right?

"My aunt showed me a bit," he said, shrugging. He liked talking to Nitty. He didn't feel intimidated by her. She was small, and she wasn't a human. "But I learned a lot on my own," he admitted. "I had to cook tomato soup for my cousin when he was sick."

"I see," Nitty said, feeling uncomfortable. "So you was treated like a slave house elf?"

"I...I don't know," Harry said. "I don't know what that is."

"It's when the house elves have to serve masters who aren't nice," she tried to explain.

"Was Snape ever like that?" Maybe if he could find something out about the man he'd be able to judge him a bit better.

"No!" Nitty gasped. "Master Severus freed me as soon as he inherited me! Master Snape has always been very kind!"

"What kind of people hurt their elves?" Harry asked, skeptical. Nitty looked nervous.

"Death Eaters," she whispered.

"Snape mentioned them," Harry said, thoughtfully. "Who are Death Eaters?"

"They're bad to their elves," Nitty said. "And they do dark magic. They're cruel. And they follow You-Know-Who."

"No, I don't know who," Harry said, a little sharper than he had intended. Nitty looked around, as if trying to see if anyone was going to overhear her.

"The Dark Lord," she said. "You's don't know who he is, Master Harry?"

"No," he said. "Should I?"

"Master Harry! I - I don't think it be my place to explain this to you!"

"Why not?" Harry demanded.

"Master Severus would do a better job," she dodged.

"Is that where Snape is now?" Harry asked. "Is he at a meeting of Death Eaters?"

"Yes, Master Harry," Nitty said.

"Will they hurt him?" Harry asked, desperate.

"Master Harry!" Nitty exclaimed, getting very agitated. "It not be my place to answer these questions!"

Fact was, Nitty knew that Snape came back from his Death Eater meetings in bad shape. Almost always. He sometimes would even go to the infirmary, and he hated that. Most of the time he would hole up in his bedroom and not come out for a couple of days. She left food for him at his door, and he would eat it, sometimes, but he wouldn't see anyone other than the Headmaster during that time. She didn't want to explain this to Harry.

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered, and looked at his soup sorrowfully.

"Eat, Master Harry," Nitty said, more gently this time. He nodded and began to eat again.

So Snape was a Death Eater. He was a follower of whoever the Dark Lord was, and he used dark magic. Well, you didn't need a magical education to put two and two together. Dark magic was obviously not something anyone should be messing with. But apparently he didn't treat his house elf like the others did. And he didn't seem to be cruel to anyone. Well, Harry had only seen Snape interact with him and Nitty. But he hadn't been cruel to either of them. He was very nice. So maybe he was different? Or, maybe, Nitty didn't understand something, and maybe the Death Eaters weren't that bad? Harry was confused. Maybe Snape was just laying an elaborate trap for him? He certainly was more intelligent than his uncle had ever been. So maybe his traps would be more complicated, and take longer to actually come together.

And the worst thing was Harry knew he cared. Snape's trap was brilliant. Snape had lied about caring, and he had given him food, all because this way he could make Harry care, and then take it away from him. It was genius really. If Harry had been a cruel type, he would have filed the idea away to use himself. He cursed himself for falling into Snape's trap. If only he didn't care about Snape! And then he'd told the house elf who would undoubtedly carry the information back to Snape. He would know his trap worked, and start beating - maybe even raping - Harry.

Suddenly, Harry felt scared. Not even his stomach calming potion could keep him from being sick this time. He excused himself, and threw up.

.oO-Oo.

"Severus!" Lucius Malfoy called as Severus flooed into his living room. "I'm so happy you could make it." The blond aristocrat got up and came over, embracing him. Well, Lucius was the closest thing he had to a friend at these meetings. He actually did like the man. Disagreed with him, yes, but he liked him.

"Hello, Lucius," he returned. "I trust your summer has been going well?"

"Of course!" Lucius grinned. "And yours?"

"Yes," Severus said. "It has been going well. Is Draco ready for Hogwarts in the fall?"

"Very much so! He is looking forward to being your student."

"He does realize, Lucius, that even though he is my godson, and the son of a fellow Death Eater, I cannot treat him differently than the other Slytherins?"

"Yes, of course," Lucius said. "He's intelligent enough to know that. But, enough of the small talk. The others are here, and we need to get the meeting going." Severus inclined his head and followed Lucius to where the others had gathered.

The meeting proceeded as usual. Severus was always bored out of his skull at the way the meetings proceeded in the beginning. They just went over procedure and discussed the activities of the other Death Eaters. He never had anything of consequence to report because Dumbledore wasn't actively doing anything. As a spy, he was not expected to conduct or partake in any activities the other did. He was glad of this, since he wanted no part in torturing muggles or muggle-borns. He had enough on his conscience as it was.

But this meeting, he had an impossible time concentrating on the meeting, boring as it was, because his mind kept drifting to Harry. He had decided to tell the Death Eaters about him. But he had to pick the right moment. And as he thought this, the moment came.

"Severus, what have you been doing this summer?" Lucius said.

"The usual," Severus said, and shrugged. "I have been working on my potions for the school stock. Making lesson plans for the upcoming school year. And taking care of Harry Potter."

A silence unlike he had ever heard at a Death Eater meeting fell. Everyone looked at him with blank expressions. Severus smirked. He had never been able to make everyone listen to him like this, and he quite liked the feeling. He might as well enjoy it before they killed him.

"Do tell me you jest," Lucius said. "Taking care of Harry Potter?"

"Yes, I am currently taking care of Harry Potter."

"How did this happen?" Crabbe spoke up.

"I was sent to see if anything was wrong at his relatives' house since he didn't reply to his school letter," Severus explained. "When I got there, I found that his relatives had been abusing him in the cruelest ways imaginable. As you know, I do not approve of child abuse, no matter who the child is, even if it is Harry Potter. I removed him from the house, and am currently taking care of him." There. He said it. Let the spells fly. But there was just silence.

"What did they do to him?" Lucius asked very calmly.

"They beat him on a regular basis," Severus began, "and starved him, and his uncle raped him." Severus was impressed at his own calmness. Lucius raised an eyebrow.

"Mr. Potter was not personally responsible for anything that happened the night the Dark Lord fell," Severus said, eyes darting from one Death Eater to another. At least they hadn't killed him yet. "No one knows what happened, but Mr. Potter did not chose to do it. There is still hope for him. I'm going to raise him to be a Death Eater. When the Dark Lord returns, and he is old enough, he will take the Dark Mark."

Well, of course, he wasn't really going to do any of that, but it would help his cause if they thought he would. Lucius nodded thoughtfully.

"It would be a great asset for the Dark Lord," he began, "if he could say that Harry Potter - the means of his downfall - was in fact a follower of his."

"Of course," Severus conceded. "The Dark Lord will not turn him away, and he will not deny me my request." Goyle scoffed, and Severus glared at him.

"He denied you once, didn't he?" he mocked. Severus paled. None of the other Death Eaters ever made any reference to Lily in his presence.

"Don't you dare," Severus said, his tone cold.

"Goyle," Lucius barked in a warning tone. Severus was glad that he had Lucius' backing as a friend. The man hadn't criticized him for his love for Lily, and he hadn't seemed opposed to him taking care of Harry.

"You're still taking care of Harry bloody Potter!" Nott shouted, standing up and pointing his wand at Severus. Severus stood up to match him, and drew his wand as well.

"Are you threatening me, Nott?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I'm raising the boy to be a Death Eater," Severus repeated. "Did you not hear that? He will follow the Dark Lord."

"You should just kill him," Goyle hissed. "Like what should have happened ten years ago!"

"He is the Dark Lord's, and the Dark Lord's only, to kill," Severus said coldly. "Do you want to be the one responsible for the death of Harry Potter before he returns? In the meantime, he will learn to accept the Dark Lord, and perhaps in his mercy, the Dark Lord will accept him."

"Crucio!" Nott shouted, but in his discourse, Severus was unprepared, and fell to his knees, dropping his wand. He gasped in pain. Nott held the spell for a long time, and Severus began to quiver. He reminded himself that he deserved this. He thought about what Harry had been through, and decided that if Harry could endure ten years of torture, he could endure this. Finally, Nott let the spell go, and Severus fell on his hands. He coughed, and grabbed his wand from the floor.

"Mr. Nott," Severus heard Lucius say, "that was entirely uncalled for."

"He's taking care of Potter," Nott hissed. "Do you not see that? Or because you're his friend you're willing to turn your back on the Dark Lord?"

"Let the Dark Lord look after himself," Lucius replied. "In the meantime, I ask that you leave."

"I'm a Death Eater, and this is a Death Eater meeting," Nott growled. "I will not leave until I'm satisfied that Snape knows what he's getting into, protecting the Potter boy." Severus hadn't moved from the floor. It was a shorter fall that way, because he knew this wasn't going to be the end.

"Nott," he said, his voice still unsteady from the Crucio, "if you expect me to defend myself, I won't. I have made my case, and that is final. I have no intention of dueling you. Do what you will."

Honestly, he didn't feel like fighting at all. Like he said, he made his case. If they didn't accept it, let them do whatever they saw fit. If they killed him now, it would be easier on Harry and himself than later. They wouldn't be as attached. It would hurt Harry less to lose him now than in the future. And it was a fitting punishment for not having found Harry sooner anyway. He inwardly grimaced at the poetic justice of it all. His hate for a dead man had cost Harry ten years of torture, and he couldn't get over that. He deserved the worst Nott could dish out, and he was ready to take it.

"Crucio," Nott whispered again, and Severus flipped on his back, hitting his head on the coffee table nearby. His whole body shook with tremors, but he didn't cry out. Sweat stood out on his forehead. Then Nott released the curse. He still shook.

"Nott!" Lucius said, standing up. "Stop this at once!" Nott just hissed at him. There was nothing Lucius could do to stop him.

"Just let it be, Lucius," Severus whispered, still lying on his back, eyes closed in pain. Lucius looked down at him, and nodded, although he knew Severus couldn't see through his closed eyes. Severus was determined to keep the moral high ground.

Then Nott send a burning hex his way, and Severus felt the blisters break out on his body. Still, he did not make a sound. A stinging curse, a rash hex, an acid charm, a paper cut jinx. Severus still kept his peace as Nott threw one spell after another at him. He was in agony.

"If you kill him," Lucius said darkly, "you will not only have me to deal with, but when the Dark Lord returns, he will kill you in ways that are ten times worse." Nott just sneered at him. Severus appreciated that Lucius cared enough to avenge him if he died. Maybe Lucius would even take care of Harry. Sure, not the ideal situation, but certainly better than other alternatives he could think of.

Nott knelt next to Severus, and laid his wand on Severus' neck. It burned into his skin, and Nott didn't remove it.

"I know it burns," Nott whispered. "And every time you come to a meeting, I will see to it you leave just like this, or worse. You can give up the Potter boy, kill him, torture him, anything, and you will have your relief." He pulled away, and disapparated without acknowledgement to Lucius or anyone else. The others followed suit, although they did acknowledge their host.

"That was rather rude of Nott, wasn't it?" Severus drawled, although he sucked in his breath at the end.

"Severus, you need to go back to Hogwarts and be healed," Lucius said, clearly worried. Usually even Death Eater meetings didn't get this bad. "From what you have said, Pomfrey is a miracle worker. She won't question what happened. You're a spy, and she knows you attend these meetings." Severus just grunted, as he tried to roll over and stand up. He was shaky at best.

He began to collapse, but Lucius caught him, and Severus leaned on him gratefully.

"Lucius," Severus choked out. "I need you promise me something."

"Anything, my friend," Lucius assured him.

"If something happens to me," Severus gasped, still leaning heavily on Lucius, "if I die - will you look after Harry? You need to keep him away from Dumbledore. The fool put him with his relatives in the first place and didn't check on him. Will you promise me this?"

"On my word as a Slytherin and a Death Eater," Lucius began, "and as your friend, I promise that I will look after Harry should anything happen to you. I will keep him from Dumbledore, and I will treat him as my own."

"Thank you, Lucius," Severus said. Severus not only meant the promise, but also the helping hand at the moment, his acceptance of Harry, and his support during the meeting.

"You're welcome, Severus," Lucius responded, equally understanding what Severus had meant. "Go see Pomfrey."

"I will," Severus conceded. It wasn't often he left the meetings needing help to get to the fireplace. His last thought before Lucius sent him home was that he hoped Harry wasn't in the living room to see him like this. The poor boy would be scared senseless.

.oO-Oo.

"Master Harry!" Nitty called. "What's you doing?" Harry was just sitting on the couch, watching the flames in the fireplace. He didn't know what to do with himself. Nitty wouldn't let him do any chores, and without that part of his comfort zone, he didn't know what to do. He was worried about Snape. Worried what was happening to him, and worried about this whole Death Eater business.

"Nothing," Harry said, defensively.

"Obviously," Nitty observed. "Does you want to play a game?"

"A...game?" Harry choked out. "What game?"

"Exploding Snap?" Nitty suggested.

"I don't know how to play games," Harry admitted, shame faced. His relatives had never let him play games. Sometimes he watched during the occasional family game nights that Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley had, but he never understood what they were actually doing.

"You's doesn't know how to play games?" Nitty gasped. "Even slave house elves play games, Master Harry!" Harry just shrugged. "I's'll teach you!" Nitty darted away and got her deck of Exploding Snap cards. Master Severus was always good about remembering to give her gifts on her birthday and Christmas, and this had been his present last Christmas.

"Master Harry, come sit on the floor!" Nitty was very excited to show Harry how to play. She couldn't fathom not knowing to play any games. Harry did as he was told, and she quickly explained the rules to him. In a few minutes, Harry was playing Exploding Snap, jumping as the cards exploded. He was having a wonderful time! He was having such a good time, he almost forgot about the whole drama with Snape.

Suddenly, the flames roared to life, and Snape fell through. He literally fell on the floor as his legs wouldn't support his weight at the moment.

"Sir!" Harry screamed when he saw Snape's state. The man was in a horrible state. Harry bet it was worse than the one he was in when Snape had picked up from the Dursleys. Sanpe didn't respond. Was he dead? Had Snape died? Harry felt sick, and his heart raced. He was sure Snape had been trapping him with his new-found feelings, but he still cared even if he knew he shouldn't. He still didn't want to see Snape hurt.

"Sir!" he screamed again.