St. Charles Orphanage. The mere look of the place was dismal. It was pretty badly-kept for nun's standard. The exterior was gloomy and chipped. It felt more like a prison than an orphanage.

Snape stared at it, brow furrowed. Was the Potter brat actually here? He turned to look at McGonagall, who had accompanied him. She was looking slightly uncomfortable but she had shot him an approving nod when he had said that he was going to be coming too. Dumbledore, however, had strangely enough backed out and announced that it would be better if only the two of them go. He was going to have a long discussion with the Dursleys. McGonagall had found that an utterly useless thing to do. They'd never take Harry back, she wouldn't allow it in the first place. They didn't care for the boy, they would neglect him horribly.

The two of them walked inside, and after McGonagall talked to someone they were allowed to enter the Orphanage. Snape flinched inwardly at the hopeless and mournful expressions of the children. Striding as quickly as he could, he reached the upstairs dorm where he heard wailing.

He groaned. He did not want to enter a room full of wailing babies.

McGonagall stopped behind him. "Go on, Severus. Harry must be in that room."

"I-" Snape looked desperately at the door, then sighed. "Alright."

He pushed open the door to see a whitewashed, ill-kept room full of dirty cots. Most of the cots were inhabited. A maid sat at the far corner, seemingly resting, while a baby in her arms pummelled her buttons.

The nun followed behind Minerva, looking apprehensively at their robes. At the left side of the room, inside a brown cot, sat a heart-broken baby sobbing. He had messy dark hair which was sticking up, just like his father...Snape glowered at him bitterly as he walked nearer to him. He saw the thin, red, lightning scar on his forehead with a jostle of fear. And then he saw his eyes. Big, orb-like, bright green. Lily's eyes. Lily's beautiful emerald eyes on this boy. For just a second, Snape forgot that this was Potter's spawn. He stared down at him, feeling his eyes sting. Lily was dead...She had died just a few days ago...All because of him-

"Oh, what a beauty," McGonagall sounded close to tears. "Poor child. Just look at the awful condition of this place. How will he cope? How can the son of Lily and James live here?"

Snape didn't reply. Slowly, as if in a dream, he reached out a hand to feel the boy's cheeks, wipe some tears out of the green eyes. The baby screamed louder, "Mama! Waaaaa!"

"You can pick him up, if you want..." The nun said, trembling.

Snape ignored her, pretended not to have heard. He wasn't holding this James Potter look-a-like in his arms. He never would.

XXXXX

Snape didn't know what he felt. Lily would have wanted him to take care of her child, to protect him. Or would she have protested him not ten kilometres within the baby?

He had to make it up to her...But on the other hand, he couldn't rock the child of his childhood nemesis to sleep either.

Something stirred in Snape when he arrived back at the office, in front of Dumbledore. The man kept staring at him, as if expecting him to say something. Say he would adopt the boy. Or something helpful of the sort.

Would he? Would he do this? For...for Lily? Even if he was not going to pay attention to the brat, he could still keep him in...The least he could do.

"I-..." Snape scowled. "I could take care of the child for the time-being Dumbledore,"

The old man turned to look at him, pride and surprise both on his face. "Excellent decision, Severus. After all he is Lily's-"

"I know." Snape said, curtly. He didn't know what had made him say it. He was an idiot, a fool. It was a mercy that he was alone in the office with only Dumbledore. Minerva had gone to her office to recover.

"Take it easy, Severus. Are you sure that you want to take the responsibility?"

Snape looked at the floor, downcast. "I..."

"Tell you what," Dumbledore said, kindly. "Why don't I give you a day to think? You can tell me your final decision tomorrow,"

Snape looked up at him, grateful. "I'll think about it...and let you know tomorrow." He said. "But," he added, firmly. "This does not mean that I will most definitely take him in. It is just a suggestion," He frowned. "Nor will I enjoy keeping him with me,"

"Of course. The final choice is yours, Severus. If you are willing, keep him. If not...we'll just have to find someone else, I suppose,"

XXXXX

That night Severus went to sleep with dark circles under his eyes. He had still not made a decision. Half of him didn't want to adopt Potter. The other half...

He had no experience of child-caring, nor did he enjoy the company of children. It all just came down to Lily's love. And he still wasn't sure if she'd want him to take her child or not.

Feeling desperate and awful, Snape postponed checking the essays and after a nightcap, chose to sleep. His eyes felt heavy as he closed them. One minute he was thinking about the whole ordeal, and poor Potter crying in the dirty cot in the orphanage, and the next he was fast asleep.

He had a strange dream.

He was sitting on a bench, a bench in the middle of a desolate clearing. He was staring at the green ground, lost in thought. And then he looked up and saw swirling white mist... White mist edging towards him. A soft voice, a voice he could barely make out, was floating through the air.

"Severus,"

Snape frowned. The clearing around him suddenly seemed to have gotten a lake, a blue, shimmering lake. There were two swings in the background. It looked vaguely familiar...

A mist formed into a slightly more solid figure-all Severus could make out was dark red hair and green eyes.

And then he awoke with a start. Panting and breathing heavily, Snape summoned some water and drank it, out of breath.

Lily had just died. It was just a dream of remembrance. He had just been thinking about her...

And suddenly, Snape's mind was made. He had to adopt Potter. He had to. Lily Evans had not sacrificed her life for nothing.

XXXXX

Classes were a nightmare. He was in a foul mood throughout.

"You! Stop smirking in that insolent way!" Snape barked to a smiling Gryffindor in the corridor, who was looking vaguely suspicious and mischievous. "Five points from Gryffindor,"

The student gaped. "But-"

"Would you like a detention too?"

The student shook his head and rushed away. Snape sneered at his retreating figure.

So, you get the gist. During the last class of the day, Severus was so agitated that he assigned a detention to a Ravenclaw for no apparent reason.

While making a first-year Hufflepuff cry, Snape wondered how long it would take for all the classes to end.

Once his burden was over, he headed at once to the Headmaster's office. After snapping a quick, "Gummy worms,", he climbed up the spiral staircase and knocked at the door urgently.

"Come in,"

Snape opened the door and entered the office, his black robes billowing behind him.

"Ah-Severus, have a seat,"

Snape sat, sulkily. He looked awful and deathly pale and Dumbledore wondered what was the matter.

"Would you like a lem-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No. This isn't the time for your ridiculous Muggle sweets, Dumbledore!"

"Well, it's your own loss then. So-have you made your decision?"

"I...I have thought about it," Snape did not meet the twinkling blue eyes but kept staring at Fawkes who was at the corner of the table, the Phoenix ruffling it's feathers.

"And?" Dumbledore prompted.

"I have decided...for the time being...I will take Potter in. But-" Snape glared at Dumbledore, suddenly ferocious. "I will not be doing so for long. As soon as he is old enough I will let him go. He must never know about-about-"

"Your love for Lily Evans?" Dumbledore said, quietly.

Snape looked so dangerous, it was odd Dumbledore was not melting on the spot. "He must not know anything. I am doing this for her. I will protect him while he is young. But once...once I think he may be able to-"

"What you are saying, Severus, is that you will care for the boy while he is weak and vulnerable but then abandon him when he is old enough? Just so he can never know the best of you?"

Snape did not reply. He simply stared at the Headmaster.

"Do you think it will be easy for a child to forget his guardian-his adoptive father?"

"I will not be his father!" Snape bellowed, furious. "The-the adoption is a necessary deed I must perform to protect him, but it does not mean I will actually care for-"

"Leaving you will be hard for him, once he is grown up." Dumbledore said.

"I assure you he won't have developed any affectionate feelings for me by then," Snape sneered. "I have made my decision. I just need your consent."

"You have it, Severus." Dumbledore looked grave, knowing, and stern. "Do what you must and adopt Harry Potter."

Snape took a deep breath. "When-"

"There is still a while till school ends. I suggest you go the week before Christmas. You two will have lots of time to bond over the winter holidays,"

XXXXX

It was six weeks or so when Harry got to be taken out of his Orphanage Prison. During those six weeks, documents were signed and rules were read. It didn't take long. Snape was reluctant and tetchy while signing the adoption papers. He didn't even sign properly, he was in such a state. He didn't understand how everything worked and Dumbledore had had to help. Finally, when he had a legal right of Harry, Dumbledore wanted to have a word with him.

"...Sure you're up to this, Severus?"

"It does not matter now. It has been done,"

"Where is Harry?"

"He's in my quarters. Sleeping. I have ordered a house elf to tend to him."

Dumbledore looked closely at Snape's sunken, dark eyes-his tired, miserable expression.

"Why did you make the decision, Severus?" Dumbledore's tone was kind, warm. His blue eyes twinkled.

"Excuse me?"

"What you did was exceedingly brave. What prompted you?"

Snape stared down at the table. "I am certain that you know," he muttered after an uneasy silence.

Dumbledore smiled at him in a fatherly sort of way and Snape cringed. "I am not weak," he said in a stronger voice. "I am not one to dwell on sad memories forever..."

He stared straight at Dumbledore, frowning.

"No-but you have feelings, like all human beings. And these feelings help to drive you towards what is right." Dumbledore said, quietly. "Let us go check on Harry, Severus. He should meet his adoptive fa-" stopping at the look Snape gave him, he amended cheerfully, "His guardian."

XXXXX

The boy was awake when they got there. He was covered in a blue cloth, lying on a transfigured bed with crib-like borders on either side. He was staring quietly up at the ceiling, tears dripping from his eyes, and when he saw Dumbledore-and skulking behind him, Snape-he let out a frightened whimper.

Dumbledore looked down at him and picked him up while the house elf backed away nervously.

"Harry Potter," he smiled at the baby calmly. The child began to cry in a soft, heart-broken voice, squirming, pale tears coursing out of those emerald eyes.

"Oh dear. Severus, why don't you-" Dumbledore looked behind him.

"No."

"What-?"

"I will not touch him,"

Dumbledore looked shocked. "Excuse me? And what am I to think of that, Severus?-"

"He is James Potter's son. I have kept him in, and I will feed him and protect him. That is all I am willing to do."

Dumbledore looked at him, sharply. "Severus, that is NOT how you treat a child! I refuse to let him be neglected-"

"He will not be neglected," Snape's voice was uncertain, but coldly firm.

Dumbledore sighed. "Please come here, Severus,"

Snape scowled, then slowly stood beside the man.

The baby in Dumbledore's arms kept crying, kicking it's little feet. Snape thought that he was quite spoilt already.

But then Dumbledore suddenly thrust Harry into his arms and Snape nearly let go of the boy. "Dumbledore you!-" Snape snarled but Dumbledore stepped away.

"Severus, please." He urged.

Snape scowled and glared at him, sending several murderous looks as the son of Potter lay in his arms. For some reason, there was no more crying.

Harry looked up at him, eyes watering but his mouth shut. He looked vaguely interested in the man and sniffled silently.

"Ah," Dumbledore smiled. "He likes you already,"

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!"

Harry winced at the loud voice and whimpered. He began crying a little and Snape scowled as he had to rock the boy to calm him down.

"That's enough, you spoilt brat-silence!" He was growing more and more frustrated but the moment he cried 'silence' in his sharp voice, Harry suddenly stopped.

The baby stared up at him, surprised. It frowned and stuck out it's lip. "Nooo," it cried, chokily and indistinctly. The tears still flowed down.

"Take him home today, Severus. When the students leave for Christmas, you go too. Make Harry familiar with his new surroundings. This will be a very new experience for him. He has just lost his parents and their memory is probably still afresh in his mind-"

"I understand," Snape growled. He glared down at the baby in his arms. Harry, strangely enough, had closed his eyes, probably in tiredness.

And one of the tiny fists was clutching his sleeve.

XXXXX

When they arrived at Spinner's End, Harry didn't stop crying. He didn't like his surroundings. Or anything about the dark, dusty house. He was dumped on a small bed in a dim room and then the door was slammed shut, the tall, dark-haired man who made him wonder, scowling at him as if he hated him.

Harry wailed and wailed for attention and help but no one came. Only when it was dark and his throat was hoarse, did someone enter the room. He could hardly see who it was and was half-asleep. The tall, dark-haired man picked him up with a look of loathing and contempt on his face, and took him somewhere.

"Mm..Mmm..." Harry clutched at the black robed chest, whining. "Unnhh, mm.."

"You will be staying here, Potter," Snape said tightly, as they entered a room. It was small and dismal but it was clear that the man had done his best-there was a chipped cot in one corner and a dull rug on the floor. A window was right beside the cot and there was a wardrobe into the wall, though empty.

He gingerly put the baby into the cot and Harry tried to sit up. He stared at Snape, tears burning in the green orbs and a pouty expression on his lips. "Mmmm...Muma, muma."

Snape glared at him, hatred clear on his face. "She's gone, Potter. Gone because of you. Are you happy? Happy that she sacrificed herself for filth like you..." He shook his head. "You'd be rotting in that Orphanage if I didn't owe her, Potter. You don't deserve anything better." He knew that Harry did not understand him, but it felt slightly comforting to vent off some resent.

Harry clutched the bars of the cot, looking up at him. "Unhh, bilekewelb! Waah!"

"That's enough." Snape frowned. He got out a bottle of milk from his pocket, to feed Potter for a while, until he found out what insolent one-year olds ate.

He saw the baby clutch it when he handed it to him and tremble slightly. It sucked at the bottle a little, then closed it's eyes, tears still rolling, but calm for the moment.

"Just like your father," Snape spat. "Wearing her eyes on your face," And then he stopped talking because he didn't trust himself to speak. His face crumpled slightly and he looked away, away from the green eyes which made him feel guilty, jealous, greedy and resentful all at once. He couldn't look into them. It hurt too much.

"Hawwy,"

Snape turned to him, confused.

The baby looked at him, looking utterly bemused and miserable. But he repeated the word. "Hawwy,"

Snape didn't reply.

The baby began drinking the milk again, looking downcast and sad. He looked quite adorable for a moment-a chubby baby sitting up and drinking, with beautiful green eyes and a little hand rubbing at his milky lips after he withdrew the bottle.

Snape found himself staring in wonder and anger, disgusted by the fact that Potter had actually had this-this brat with Lily...he wondered that if he had ever been lucky enough for the same fate...would there be a boy in the same situation? Or staying happily with his family-Harry Severus Snape?

And then he left the room, without looking back, pain flowing through every vein of his body. He couldn't take another second.

And though he heard Harry's anxious cry at being left alone again, he didn't care. That boy wasn't his, even if he was technically his adoptive parent. He reminded himself that it was just a legal title. He was a guardian and that boy was nothing but a worthless ward. The boy was Lily's-Lily's and Potter's. And for his mistakes, he was doomed to care for him. It was a punishment for relating the Prophecy. He deserved it. The boy was nothing to do with him.

Snape couldn't sleep for hours that night.