Oh, Snape had thought that he had seen and remembered quite enough, but more memories seemed to be coming back into focus in his mind, very vivid now that Dumbledore had restored his memory...

They were both languid and tired but he managed to whisper to her: "I love you,"

Immediately she stiffened and sat up, her eyes widening. "No," she said. "No."

"What do you mean?" He tried to reach for her hand but she leant away. "No! I don't love you! This was all a mistake!"

"What?" Now he was sitting up too, glaring at her. "What do you mean by that? Where are you going?" 

He gasped as Lily smacked him with her palm, squirming away. Suddenly his temper rose.

"What do you think you're doing?" He snarled. "Come back!"

But she was already running towards her outdoor cloak and looking in the pockets desperately.

"Lily!" He yelled again.

But she had found what she was looking for, and, her eyes widened with fear, she shouted: "Ob-Obliviate!"

There was a flash of light and he fell down with a thud...the next time he opened his eyes he was all alone...

Snape shook away the memory, burying his head in his arms, breathing harshly.

Knock Knock!

He wanted to tell whoever it was to get lost, but he couldn't muster the energy to even look up. He ignored the knocks completely.

"Professor Snape, sir!" It was Draco's voice, distant and muffled. "It's important, sir!"

Snape got up with difficulty and opened the door. Draco was standing there, looking up at him with urgency.

"What is it, Draco? How dare you bother a teacher when they are at their quarters?"

"I'm-I'm sorry, sir," Malfoy said, confusedly. He always came to Snape's quarters-he knew Snape. Why was the man so cross? "But it's Professor Umbridge. She wants you in her office immediately,"

"Tell her that I am busy," Snape began, snarling.

"I...I don't think she'll like that, Sir," Draco said, warily.

"Fine, fine, move aside, I'm coming," Snape snapped. He didn't feel like going anywhere at all. He felt more like dying.

He stomped off to her office, while Malfoy watched him curiously. When he reached, he knocked at the door impatiently.

"Come in," the woman called.

Snape opened the door bad-temperedly. "You called for me, Professor?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Ah. Professor Snape. Take a seat. I'd like to speak to you about something,"

Once Snape was sitting in the most hideous office he had ever seen (even worse than Lockhart's and that was saying something), Umbridge began: "Now Snape...What did you and Professor Dumbledore speak about?"

"Excuse me?"

"I am aware of the frequent meetings the two of you have. I have the right to know why. As the High Inquisitor-"

"Your job," said Snape, in a dangerous voice. "Is to see if the teachers are satisfactory and if the school is being run properly. Not to pry in other's businesses-"

"I thought that you were on my side, Snape," Umbridge narrowed her bulging eyes. "I want to know what Dumbledore is planning. Surely, that is not such a difficult question?-"

"Whatever conversation Professor Dumbledore and I have is none of your concern, nor a very urgent matter. I should be going now, Professor," and with that, Snape left the office contemptuously, Umbridge goggling at him suspiciously. He knew she would be keeping an eye on him now.

As Snape walked back to his quarters, more awful memories were making themselves known, one by one...

"I'm sorry. I used your shoulder as a handkerchief," Lily looked contrite, wiping her eyes.

Severus just stared at her, mouth open. He wouldn't care whichever part of his body Lily used as a handkerchief-she was here, and that was enough. 

He smiled-his usual, slow, hesitant smile. "I feel so sorry for you. If only you hadn't gone after Potter..."

"He-he loves me, I know. I love him too, but I can't stomach him at times!"

"He isn't right for you, Lily." Severus said, his voice shaking as he tried to control himself. She was looking so beautiful, dark red hair all over her face and green eyes glittering softly. He wanted to kiss her, but he wasn't sure if this was a good approach.

Lily looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. "Then who is?" She said, sullenly. "I did want to get married soon. I don't know what to do."

I am, Severus thought. He reached for her hand and held it. "Let me help you, Lily. We were friends,"

"We...we are friends. But you haven't told me yet, Severus, are you a Death Eater?"

"Nevermind all that," Severus said, firmly. "This is about you, not me. You shouldn't go with that jerk anymore. I know what's best for you, I'm your friend."

"Severus-"

Severus lost all sensible thought and kissed her impulsively, and, to his shock, Lily didn't seem too reluctant.

He had been 20 or so (maybe even younger) at that time-an age where anybody could make nasty mistakes. He hadn't done anything wrong, Lily had gone along with it-it wasn't his fault that she had chickened out at the end, come to her senses and seen his ugly face...and gone.

Ugly face. Severus felt like he had been punched. No wonder she had run off. He was ugly.

No, no he wasn't. He was behaving like a teenager, for Merlin's sake. This had all happened years and years ago-he should forget it, move on, not come to stupid conclusions.

XXX

Harry didn't know he was actually crying in his rage until he wiped his face and felt the hot tears.

Whatever Dumbledore had said had sounded like a whole lot of rubbish. What if the man was manipulating him, forcing him to believe something untrue?

Snape could not be his father. True, he was going through changes, but he didn't look like Snape. He had his bright green eyes, not Snape's black ones. He had his own ruffled hair, not Snape's straight oily strands.

His mother would never have betrayed James Potter in such a way. She wouldn't have gone with a jerk like Snape (who probably eyed her up) and she wouldn't have then pretended to Potter that he was his son.

That made her sound...sound so...oh nevermind!

You could ask Snape and confront him about this. Harry thought.

But he wasn't sure he wanted to. In fact, if he went within a few miles of Snape he might as well murder him in his rage. Better to stay away. Besides, it would be extremely awkward and he didn't want to hear any more lies or rubbish.

Yes, Harry was in denial.

XXX

"Harry?" Hermione said, timidly. "Harry, can I come in?"

"No. I don't feel like talking to anyone, Hermione," Harry said, from his bed.

"Harry, please, we're your friends. Tell us what happened to make you so upset,"

"I'm not upset,"

"Come on, mate," Ron's voice came from somewhere. "Don't hide stuff from us."

Harry sat up and glared at the pair of them. "I don't want to discuss anything, alright? So you can just leave, please,"

Ron and Hermione came closer. They both looked shocked and hurt.

"Harry, what happened?" Hermione sounded close to tears. "Please, please tell us what happened!"

"He'll tell us when he feels like it, Hermione," Ron said, suddenly. "Right, Harry?"

Harry looked at Ron and he suddenly knew why they were best friends. "Yeah. Yeah, thanks."

Ron nodded and led Hermione away.

"But-" she began desperately.

"Come on, we'll come back later. Let him breathe," Ron urged. Soon Harry was alone again.

XXX

Severus tossed in a few more books into the suitcase, while his black clothes and other coats and jackets folded themselves magically. He intended to leave the school as soon as possible and live as an outcast somewhere far away.

He didn't care what Dumbledore said, or even what the Dark Lord said. They could threaten him with Azkaban or Crucio all they liked; he was going to leave.

He had had enough with his pathetic and problematic life. It was time he just had a break.

XXX

Harry was facing the mirror and gazing at his reflection. He looked helplessly at his face, his green eyes. He didn't know what to do. His insides were writhing with tension.

"I need to talk to Snape," Harry finally realised. He had to get some more answers. How many more secrets were being hidden from him?

He looked resolutely into the mirror and set out towards Snape's office.

He didn't tell Ron and Hermione where he was going. In fact, he avoided them and went out of the common room. Racing down into the dungeons, nervous and furious at the same time, Harry suddenly came face to face with Umbridge.

"Where are you going?" She looked suspicious, her eyes narrowed.

"I need to speak to Professor Snape," Harry snapped. "I'm in a hurry," He tried to move past her, but she wouldn't let him.

"Why?" She asked, looking even more suspicious.

"He-he called for me," Harry lied, glaring at her.

"I see," Umbridge smiled nastily. "Well, you don't want to be late, do you?"

She walked away and Harry, thankful that she had gone, went back to his journey towards Snape's office.

Wondering briefly what Umbridge had been doing in the dungeons, Harry finally reached the office door and banged at it fiercely.

However, nobody came to open the door. It was locked and warded shut. But he didn't stop knocking, resolutely slamming his fist at the door until his knuckles were unbelievably sore.

"I have to speak to you!" Harry shouted.

"Potter? What the hell are you doing?" Harry turned around to see Malfoy staring at him with his usual sneer.

"None of your damned business, Malfoy-where is Snape?"

"Why?" Malfoy eyed his angry stance.

"Never you mind! It's important,"

"He's probably in his quarters. Why?" Malfoy demanded.

"Where are his quarters?" Harry asked.

Malfoy looked shocked. "Why would you want to go in his quarters, Potter? What are you trying to do?"

"Will you just tell me?"

"No, I wont," Malfoy sneered. "I want to know-"

Harry was nearly shaking with impatience now. He wanted to punch Malfoy and he very nearly did so.

"I...Have to speak to him about a detention," Harry said in forced calm, lying once again.

Malfoy sneered. "Really?"

"Yeah," Harry gulped back a large lump in his throat.

"His quarters are somewhere over there," Malfoy said, eyes narrowing suddenly, gesturing. He walked away.

Harry, surprised, went to find Snape's quarters. He was unaware of Malfoy sneaking behind him, intending to listen to the conversation that would occur.

XXX

When Harry finally found the quarters, he knocked on the door brashly, trying not to look nervous. He had every right to have this conversation.

It was not long before Snape, scowling at the interruption, opened the door. Harry saw Snape freeze when he saw him, paling so that his skin was the colour of sour milk.

"Potter?" His voice was not authoritative or low and sneering. It was actually apprehensive.

Even as Snape said 'Potter' he flushed. This boy wasn't a Potter at all.

"I want to talk to you, Snape," Harry said, insolently. He glared right into those dark eyes. "Now."