Draco had a plan, and by the end of the day, it would be set in motion, and no turning back. Not even the Dark Lord was going to be able to stop this, and that was a large part of the beauty, Draco thought. He had not made mention of this to anyone, but someone should know. That someone would be Alchemist, the only student to have actually spoken to him without prejudice the whole semester. Not that he actually deserved to be treated well at the hands of his peers. God knew he never treated them well, but sometimes it might be nice to have a "Good morning" or a sincere "How are you?"

The blond boy picked up the letter from Alchemist and went to breakfast.

The Monster in the Dark

To know that you still consider me an Alchemist after the way I treated you means a lot to me. I don't deserve it. I don't know what happened with you, why you feel that your day, week, month, year is more worse than mine, and right now, I'm too tired to even go back and forth between 'who's got the worse life' game. So I'll end that right here and say it's a draw. We're both screwed. I have had a day like no other. I was in a pain that I can't describe. The hurt that was going through me from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. But, I guess I deserved that. For everything I've done, I guess it's atonement for all the hurt I've caused others. I knew I shouldn't have egged him on, especially with the Professors there, but I couldn't stop myself.

But deep down I was glad that it happened. It kept him away from me for tonight. Other things came up and I couldn't go with him. At least I'll rest easier tonight. Now all I have to do is worry about tomorrow.

Thank you for giving me another chance.

I feel like I am making this one sided. I vented to you. It's only fair if you vent to me as well. Maybe we can help each other out.

Who knows, we may even become friends.

Alchemist (Idiot)

So it was likely his correspondent was in his year, in his defense class, or at least that would make sense considering what the (very painful) effects of their lesson the previous day had been. That still left a good number of students though. Ah, well, it really didn't matter what Alchemist's identity was. Nothing mattered at this point, and Draco felt more at peace than he had in a long time. He was free. He pulled out his quill and began writing.

Dear Alchemist,

Let me begin with my condolences on your day. I will agree that the sixth year defense class wasn't an easy one, but Professor Snape had his reasons for teaching that curse. (It's the only thing of consequence that happened yesterday to cause anyone that kind of pain.) If you'll notice, he didn't subject us to anything he wasn't willing to undergo himself. Professor McGonagall cast the curse on him before any of us cast it on each other. There are lots of teachers who wouldn't do that for us. In a backhanded way, it really was for our betterment that we learn it.

I would argue with your statement that you deserved to have that curse cast at you, but I'm also too tired to argue about it. I'm glad that whatever your plight is, you didn't have to worry about it last night. Best of luck with resolving it.

I don't think there's anything you can do to help me, but thank you for your offer. There's something I need to tell you.

Draco paused, unsure how to continue.

It's not right that I'm alive. I was given a choice two nights ago, kill or be killed. I chose to kill an innocent man to protect my own life and I shouldn't have done that. I should have done the right thing and died that night. Well, I'm going to fix that. I'm going to be forced to kill again, Alchemist, and I won't be able to stand up like that. I'm not that strong.

This will be for the best. I'm going to jump from the astronomy tower after classes today. Not that attending classes is very important if I'm going to die today anyway, but I think it's because I want to see one of the teachers one last time.

I guess I'm telling you this because I have to tell someone, and I don't have anyone else. You're already my friend. I don't want you to feel sad or guilty about this though. You've given me something to look forward to every day (our letters) and you've been nicer than most to me. On my list of reasons not to do this, you've been the top reason.

Don't forget that you're not an idiot, please. There's teachers who will help you. Sometimes they're the most unlikely ones, but they'll help if you just ask them. Rely on your friend.

I just have one favor to ask of you. Since there will be only one student jumping off the astronomy tower this afternoon, you will know who I am by sunset. I only ask that at my funeral, you get up and make a statement about me. Mention the letters. Tell them that I didn't want to be who I was. I might have been a monster but I didn't want that. I would like it if at least one person says the truth about me there.

Of course, you don't have to do that, if you don't want to. It won't matter, not really. I'll be dead, and I won't know or care what you do.

Thank you for having spent your time with me. It's been wonderful.

The Monster in the Dark

Draco signed the letter with his pen name and folded it carefully. Without eating any food, he rose and went to his first class.

Draco stood at the top of the astronomy tower and looked over the edge. It was a dizzying height. Did he really want to do this? He ran his fingers over the rough, cold stone, running through the pros and cons of his plan one last time.

Cons were that Alchemist might be worse off without him. He was scared of dying. He didn't really want to die. He wanted to have a full, long life, marry, have children.

Pros were there the Dark Lord wouldn't be able to control him anymore. He couldn't be threatened, whether with his own life or his family's lives, into doing anything he didn't want to do. He would never have to kill or be killed again. He wouldn't be responsible for Dumbledore's death. He wouldn't have anything more to do with this stupid, stupid war.

You know, maybe having a Malfoy die over this was something that would wake the world up some. Maybe there'd be some good come out of it. His death would likely be well-publicized. If Alchemist did make a speech at his funeral, the world would know why he did it. The Death Eaters would even know more details. Maybe the other mothers would understand that their children might feel the same way, and they would put a stop to this insanity.

The cold air whipped his blond hair into his eyes, and he brushed it back with his hand. He was steeling his will to jump. A soft pop next to him caught his attention and Draco looked at the floor next to his feet. A roll of parchment had appeared there, with the small banner that read "The Monster in the Dark."

So Alchemist had gotten the letter and was clever enough to find a way to send the letter directly. Interesting. It would save time always side-tracking to the mail station. Ah, but it actually didn't matter. Neither of them would side-tracking there any time soon, he thought. But he should at least do Alchemist the courtesy of reading the letter. Draco bent over and picked it up, unrolling it.

The Monster in the Dark,

DON'T YOU DARE MOVE! I'm on my way. I just got my friend to show me how to get this to you. Don't you dare jump. It may be selfish of me, but I need you. You have no idea how much your letters meant to me. You CAN NOT die. I won't let you.

Alchemist

Draco released the letter and watched it parchment float to the ground. He heard footsteps running up the stairs. Alchemist, presumably. He would soon know who he had been writing to. It was almost scary, the thought of meeting the person he'd been unburdening his soul to. He couldn't bear to look when he knew Alchemist had reached the top. He just kept looking at his shoes. He knew Alchemist was standing there for a moment before he spoke.

"Well, this is a bit awkward," a familiar voice said.