-------- HP --------

It’s an odd feeling, being blind. Everything is black, almost as if the world around you has been suddenly erased. It makes you feel as if reality has slipped away, as if you don’t exist in the world anymore. It was just Harry and his memories. Vernon, always yelling, Peturnia always looking at Harry with a disgusted sneer on her face as if Harry was a little insect that didn’t deserve to live. Dudley and his fat fist. And then, there was the flash of green light, Harry’s earliest memory. If Harry listened carefully enough, he can sometimes hear a woman’s desperate screaming. It was driving him crazy, this constant invasion of the past. In the last four days, Harry has learned a method to keep the memories away. He had to ground himself in the here and now. He had to remind himself that he was not lost in an empty blackness but that the world was still there all around him even if he couldn’t see it. His sight was lost but there were other senses. He touched everything around him, he listened to the muffled voices and the creaking floorboards, he smelled the bacon sizzling in the frying pan. Yes, this was the method Harry used when he was at the Weasleys but Snape’s manor was different.

There were no smells, no sounds. Just a universal emptiness. It was so easy for Harry to forget the present and slip back into the past when he was here. At first he had waited patiently inside his room, counting numbers. One. Two. Three. Four… Fifteen… Thirty. Focus on the numbers, not on the Dursleys or the green light. Not on his mother’s screaming. Just count and wait, Snape will be here soon and everything will be better. Right now, there was nothing but the numbers. Forty, forty-one, forty-two. Harry didn’t remember the moment when the numbers gave way to a memory… He was five and his hand had burned. He had been trying to cook breakfast but somehow, he had gotten his fingers in the fire. It hurt, it hurt so much. Harry was crying. He wanted a hug, someone to come and tell him that everything will be alright. It hurt so much. His hand even looked funny, all red and swollen. Maybe Auntie will help him this time. Maybe she’ll give him a hug like she gave Dudley after he gets hurt. Maybe, just maybe, this time will be different, this time she will be nicer. But when she finally arrived, Harry’s hopes were dashed. She didn’t hug him. Instead, she yelled. “You silly clumsy boy! What are we going to do with you? Now, we’re going to have to interrupt our family picnic and take you to the doctor. I swear, I don’t even know why we keep you. You’re a complete nuisance, that’s all you are!”


Harry sat up suddenly. No, not again! He’s not five years old anymore. He is nearly twelve and he’s no longer at the Dursleys. He was being silly remembering all those stupid stuff. He didn’t care about the Dursleys. What did they know? Harry was a wizard with magical powers, better than all of them. He didn’t give a damn about what happened in the past. Harry stood up and started to pace the room. Where was Snape? Professor Sprout said that she would fix everything. She said that she’ll rescue Snape. Well then, where are they? Harry has been here for hours. At least, he thought it was hours. How could he know for sure? It’s not like he could use a watch. God, why was this place so silent? There’s no crackling of fire, no whosh of the wind, no tick tock of a clock. There was absolutely nothing. It was getting on Harry’s nerves. He needed to hear something, now. Maybe he could go outside and sit in the garden. But that’s no good, even in the garden, everything was silent. Where can he find some life inside this dead house?

Harry walked with his hands in front of him until he felt the wall under his fingertips. Then slowly, one step at a time, he groped his way out of the room, one hand always on the wall. He had to do something, anything was better than staying still in this absolute silence. Harry didn’t know for how long he walked. He didn’t even know where he was. He had taken one turn after another. He had come down several flights of stairs. It was getting colder and there was an odd smell of mold around the place. Maybe he was in the dungeons. Maybe he was somewhere near Snape’s lab. The rough concrete of the wall gave way to a much smoother material. Polished wood, perhaps? It was a door. A different door to the hundreds he had passed along the way. Harry felt letters under his fingertips. Slowly, Harry pushed it open and slipped inside.

Immediately the sound of running water greeted him. It sounded like a waterfall, a small waterfall that trickled over smooth stones and dripped onto a pool. Then, he noticed the rustle of hundreds of leaves all around him. The wind whistled and ruffled his hair. His robes snapped around his ankles. He was outside! He had found a door that led to a sort of back garden. That was the only explanation. Where else would there be leaves and wind? But something was off. It felt… different. The air was still damp and if he inhaled deeply, he could still smell the faint odor of mold, as if he was still in a place that hadn’t seen sunshine for years. And besides, Harry was underground. He had to be. He had gone down about five flights of stairs. Then what was this place? Some sort of room charmed to feel like the outside.

Harry walked cautiously into the room. He could feel tall blades of grass swaying around his legs. It felt nice, soothing. Harry sighed contentedly, happy to finally find some sounds, some sense of life and movement. He took off his shoes. He felt the soft grass beneath the soles of his feet. Fresh morning dew seeped into his skin. There were trees around him. He could hear them swaying. He could smell the flowers, roses and jasmine. It felt so real, so lifelike and yet the air still felt damp and secluded. He couldn’t feel the sunshine. There was a scuttle of tiny feet in the grass. Harry jumped and looked around worriedly but, of course, he didn’t see anything. What was that? Were there some kind of dangerous animals around here? He won’t put it past Snape to hide poisonous magical creatures inside his house. But oddly enough, the atmosphere of this place was peaceful, something that he had never felt in this house before.

“Well, well, Mr. Potter, I see that you have discovered the reptile room,” said a very familiar voice coming from behind him. Harry spun around on instinct. He didn’t see anything but he didn’t need to. It was Snape! He had come back. He was finally here. Thank God he was here, safe and sound. He had come back for Harry. Finally the waiting was over. Harry smiled broadly and, without thinking, he ran towards the voice and threw his arms around Snape’s waist. Merlin, it was so good to have him back. Harry had been so scared that he would never see Snape again but no, he is here, he’s back. His guardian was back!

It took a few seconds for Harry to realize exactly what he was doing. He was hugging Snape! That was probably a very bad idea. Snape stood frozen on the spot. He didn’t move. He stood with his arms dangling from his sides and his muscles tense and rigid. Snape made no move to hug him back. This was getting a little awkward. Harry felt his cheeks burning. Why the hell did he always have to embarrass himself. Hugging Snape, the dungeon bat, what the hell was he thinking? Harry slowly made to take a step back but just then, he felt Snape move. Snape placed one arm hesitantly over his shoulder. After another second, his other hand came up to pat Harry on the head awkwardly.

“Well, Mr. Potter, I see that you aren’t entirely displeased to see me again.” Harry smiled and hugged his professor tight. Man, it was great to have him back.

-------- HP --------

Harry could feel the little fish moving inside the pool. He was sitting on a small rock with his feet dangling in the water. The fish swum, their bodies bumping against his legs from time to time. He could feel their cold scales brushing against his skin. Harry wondered what they looked like. Were they ordinary gold fish or were they some bizarre magical type? This seemed like such a fascinating place. Harry wished he could see it.

Snape and he were having a sort of indoor picnic. One look at Harry and Snape had declared that he needed to eat. He was about to march Harry out the door and into the dining room but Harry hadn’t wanted to leave. He liked this place. There was life here, sounds that grounded him to reality. He could hear the movement all around him and so they had come to this arrangement. A picnic on the grass. Harry smiled as he bit into his sandwich. Well, technically they weren’t on the grass. Harry was sitting on a rock while Snape was sitting on a bench right next to him. He had positively refused to sit on the grass. ‘What do you think I am, a cat?’ He had responded brusquely when Harry insisted that there were supposed to be no chairs in a picnic. It had been oddly comforting, hearing his professor’s sneering words again.

Harry took another big bite out of his sandwich. He didn’t realize until now how hungry he had been. His appetite has returned. Harry found himself smiling broadly. He was happy here, with his guardian only a few paces away from him. It’s a pity that he had to leave in a little while. Harry bright mood dampened slightly at the thought. Snape had explained to him that Dumbledore must not know that he had escaped. He must still continue to think that Snape is locked up at Healer’s Touch. If Dumbledore knew the truth he would lock Snape up again and this time, he would make sure that there was no more escaping. Instead, Snape will continue to live at Healer’s Touch, only coming out when the headmaster is away on business. Professor Sprout will apparate him in and out. Thankfully, Dumbledore is a busy man. This means that Snape will have time to spend with Harry and to seek out the real criminal. It was a good plan but still, Harry couldn’t help wishing that Snape was living with him again.

Harry swayed his legs back and forth. The water rippled gently. Nearby, a pair of frogs were croaking in unison, singing their version of a bizarrely bad song. Harry should be grateful. At least, he had managed to convince Snape not to send him back to the Borrow. He had begged Snape to let him stay here with Professor Sprout. At least that way, he would have a greater chance of meeting his guardian when Dumbledore wasn’t around. Really, it was so odd, this business with Dumbledore. Harry wanted to ask Snape all about it but the man was oddly silent about the subject. They had talked about many things over the last hour but he had never once mentioned what had happened with Dumbledore. And Harry was reluctant to raise the subject. They were so calm and tranquil right now. He didn’t want to start fighting again. But his curiosity was getting the better of him. He needed to know.

“What happened, Professor Snape?” Harry asked, turning to face Snape. It was so frustrating to not see anything! Harry wished he could see Snape’s expression and read his reactions. Yes, the man had a mask of stone but Harry had learned to distinguish the subtle signs of his emotions. Now, without his sight, even that was gone.

“A rather ambiguous question, Mr. Potter. A vast number of things have happened to me in my lifetime.” Snape responded evenly. Snap. He tore off a flower and twirled it in his fingers. Harry could sense his discomfort but he pressed on.

“You know what I mean, Professor. Why did Dumbledore lock you up in his house?” The wind was picking up. Harry could feel the breeze on his skin. It felt so real. It was hard to imagine that it was only a charm.

“The headmaster believed that I cursed you. He uncovered some evidence to suggest that I was the culprit.” Snape stated brusquely.

“What evidence was that?” Harry asked taking another bite out of his sandwich. There was a heartbeat of silence. The small waterfall continued to trickle down into the pool. Around them, birds were chirping cheerfully. Harry was afraid that Snape would just refuse to answer. He could be incredibly hard to get something out of him when he didn’t want to talk. Harry heard a tired sigh and he frowned. Something was off with Snape today. His words were slow and heavy as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep. He sounded… tired.

“Harry, I have to ask you something.” Snape was choosing his words carefully. He was calling him Harry again. That can’t be a good sign. “Do you, in any way, believe that I am responsible for this curse that has had such a devastating effect on you? I would appreciate your honest answer. Do you believe I am innocent or are your feelings more conflicted?” Harry thought about that. Was he conflicted? He didn’t think so. When Hermione told him that Snape was the one trapped at Healer’s Touch, Harry had been furious. He didn’t, for one moment, believe it really was Snape. How could it be him? The man has done everything to protect him. Besides, the concern and panic in his voice when Snape had picked him up and rushed him to Saint Mungo’s was definitely real. No, it wasn’t Snape.

“I completely believe you are innocent, sir.” Harry answered firmly. There was no doubt whatsoever in his voice.

“Thank you, Mr. Potter.” Snape whispered. Was that relief Harry heard in his voice? Had he really been afraid that Harry would think him guilty? Why? Maybe Snape really did care what Harry thought of him. Harry smiled and shifted on the rock so that he was sitting closer to his guardian. He leaned his head on the man’s leg and rested. A second later, Snape’s arm came up and circled his shoulder lightly. With a tired voice, he told Harry all about the diagnostic spells and the potion that was used to curse him.

“… so that is why the headmaster has come to the conclusion that I have poisoned you.” Harry didn’t know what to think. The evidence against Snape was quite damning. In fact, it seemed irrefutable. Nobody but Snape could have made that potion. Harry stiffened and made to sit up but Snape’s hand around his shoulder tightened protectively.

“But there is one factor that the headmaster has failed to take into account. There is one more person who has access to such a potion and he must be the one who cursed you.” Snape rushed on hurriedly. He was worried. Harry could hear the fear in his voice.

“And who’s that?”

“A death eater. Someone I know.” Harry got the distinct feeling that Snape was hiding something. Maybe he was trying to protect this death eater. After all, they were his friends. Harry frowned but he did not say anything. He didn’t really like this side of Snape, the side that tried to protect his friends no matter what they did. Harry was blind and weak. Snape should be protecting him, not the death eater who cursed him.

“Rest assured, Mr. Potter, I will deal with the matter. This afternoon, I will be leaving for a death eater gathering and I will speak to this suspect. I will convince him to give me the countercurse and the antidote.”

“And how are you going to do that, Professor? He is a death eater. He will not willing admit his guilt and give you the antidote. It doesn’t work that way.” Harry couldn’t quite keep the anger and bitterness out of his voice. No, that won’t do. He must remain calm. Harry didn’t want to fight, not today, not after he had waited so long to finally meet the man again but Harry was getting angry. Was it so unreasonable to expect his guardian to be more interested in protecting him than the man who cursed him?

“I will threaten to hand him over to the headmaster. That should put him in a reasonable mood.” Harry straightened up and looked up at Snape’s face. All he saw was black. Damn, that was annoying!

“Or we could just tell Dumbledore everything. This curse is illegal, isn’t it? Dumbledore could have him arrested.” Snape didn’t respond immediately. The wind rose around them. His robes flapped noisily on the bench. Come on, Snape, just say yes. It’s the most reasonable thing to do. Even you should see that.

“That is not the best idea, Mr. Potter.” Snape replied evenly.

“Why not?” Harry barked. He can’t believe it. Even now, Snape was trying to cover for his death eater pals. That was so not okay!

“It is highly unlikely that the headmaster will believe my words. If I tell him about this death eater, he will merely assume that I am trying to cover up my own guilt. If I want to accuse anyone, I will require concrete evidence.”

“But, surely, if you tell Dumbledore what you know, he will investigate for himself and find out the truth.” Harry persisted.

“No, he will not. The headmaster will merely assume that I am lying and dismiss my words.” Harry’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. Why would Dumbledore do that? That made no sense whatsoever. Dumbledore trusted Snape, wouldn’t he accept even the slightest possibility that the man he trusted was innocent?

“He wouldn’t do that! You are his trusted spy, he wouldn’t accuse you unless he absolutely has to!”

“And how, pray tell, would you know that, Mr. Potter? Do remind me, how long have you known the headmaster? Where does this great stock of knowledge come from?” Snape was getting angry too. His words were getting dangerously quiet.

“I know that Dumbledore’s wise. He won’t just condemn an innocent man without giving him a chance to defend himself.”

“You know nothing, Mr. Potter. You have no idea what the headmaster is truly like. You have a set of childish views, idealistic in every way. Your wise Dumbledore was quick to accuse me without the smallest shard of proof.”

“But you just said he found out about the diagnostic spells and the…”

“Yes, he did. But he found that evidence days after he trapped me at Healer’s Touch. The moment I told him that you had lost your sight, he turned against me. No matter what I said, the headmaster wouldn’t listen. He was completely convinced that I was the one who cursed you and why was that? Merely because in his eyes I am always guilty.” Bitterness and anger seeped out of his words.

“Do what you wish, Mr. Potter. After all, that is what you always do. Tell the headmaster whatever you want.” He snapped angrily.

“Sir, don’t get angry, I just…” Harry sighed. This is not how it’s supposed to go. Harry hasn’t seen his guardian in four days. They should be happy and light hearted, not angry and arguing. Why did Snape always have to do this? Why did he have to be so bloody unreasonable? He was ruining everything!

But then, maybe Snape was right. What did Harry really know about Dumbledore? That he abandoned Harry in a home where he was hated and mistrusted? That he imprisoned Snape in his house? None of these things made the headmaster look good. But… this was Dumbledore! He was the leader of the light, the wisest wizard on the planet. Can he truly be so blind? It was just so hard to understand.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Harry whispered as he kicked the water with his legs. Here we go again. Snape getting angry and then starting a yelling match before storming off somewhere. Harry was getting a little tired of it. Why couldn’t they get along smoothly for a change? Harry heard Snape let out a quiet sigh.

“It is hardly your fault.” A wet nose pressed up against Harry’s palm. It was the niffler. Harry lifted a hand and absentmindedly started stroking its soft fur. Well, at least Snape was calming down instead of storming off. That’s at least one step in the right direction. “I… apologize as well. My anger is not directed towards you, child. After all, you did save me and I thank you for that. No, it is the headmaster that I am truly angry with.” Harry nodded and stayed silent. There is so much he didn’t understand. In fact, nothing about what had happened made any sense but Harry will have to let it go. Obviously, Snape’s not willing to talk about it and if Harry wanted to keep this day peaceful, he will just have to learn to keep his curiosity to himself. Harry felt a soft tongue start to lick his fingers. The niffler was making an odd noise, sort of like a cat purring contently.

“Rather unfortunately, this room does nothing to abate my anger towards the headmaster.” Snape observed evenly. He had explained to Harry what this place used to be. Years ago, it was called the reptile room, home to dozens of different kinds of snakes. He had charmed this room to seem like a garden in order to make them more comfortable. Now, they were all gone. Dumbledore had gotten rid of them all. It made sense that this room would make him even angrier towards the Headmaster. Harry couldn’t really understand why Dumbledore would make Snape get rid of all his snakes. It didn’t make much sense. Why would anyone want to get rid of someone else’s pets. Yeah, snakes pets were weird but then again, so were owls and frogs. There was no such thing as normal in the wizarding world. It seemed like such a pointless thing to do. Was Dumbledore afraid that Snape would attack someone with the snakes? He really was a suspicious man, wasn’t he? Harry had never noticed that it in him before.

“I get that.” Harry nodded understandingly. He dipped his hand in the water and made little splashing sounds in the pool. “I like this room. It’s more peaceful than any other in this house. I mean, it’s so alive. But I guess you don’t like it much, do you, professor? It reminds you of how Dumbledore got rid of your pets.”

“It is not merely that he got rid of them, Mr. Potter.” Harry heard Snape sigh tiredly. His voice was hoarse. He gulped down a cup of water before continuing. “I had known those snakes for a long time. They had come to become more friends than pets.” Harry nodded again, thinking of Hedwig and how close the two of them were. Hedwig could sense Harry’s moods and she had been there to comfort him when he was feeling low.

“When I set them free, some of them still managed to return. They had gotten used to my charmed room and they had developed a stubborn reluctance to leave. The headmaster caught them when they returned and threw them into the fireplace.”

“What!” Harry exclaimed indignantly. The niffler nuzzling against him jumped up in fright. “He burned them?”

“Yes. That is precisely what he did.” Snape whispered. Harry could hear the buried anger in his words.

“That must’ve been terrible. I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if someone hurt my Hedwig.”

“I still remember their names; Cyra, Torak, Mortimer and Sora. They were all rare snakes from different countries. They had scales of the brightest hues. Cyra was the most beautiful. She was a three foot long snake, her scales a lime green and coated with a golden dust. He made me watch them burn. Cyra screamed the longest. And I merely stood there, watching as her golden scales turned as black as night. I watched as her body fried slowly before turning into ashes.” Snape’s words dripped venom. He took a deep unsteady breathe before gulping down another cup of water.

“God, that’s awful! No wonder you don’t want to talk about Dumbledore. He treated you terribly.”

“At times.” Snape stated briefly. The niffler climbed onto Harry’s lap. It wriggled around, getting comfortable.

“Weren’t you angry when he did that to your pets, sir?”

“I most certainly was. I was so angry, in fact, that I set fire to his stables.”

“What?”

“The headmaster used to have a large stable and there were a considerable number of horses kept within it. He was quite proud of these animals. One in particular he had since he was a young boy. It was a white mare with a golden mane. We used to go horseback riding all around his estates. I always choose an entirely black horse who answered to the name of Night. I was quiet fond of her and yet that didn’t stop me from sneaking into the stables late at night. I poured gasoline all over the straw and set it on fire. The whole place was ablaze within minutes. When the Headmaster came out there was nothing left for him but ashes.”

“So you killed all the horses?” Harry exclaimed, horrified. That was a terrible thing to do. Really, what the hell was the matter with the two of them. Burning each other’s pets? Didn’t they have any other way to sort their differences?

“It was my original intention. My pets for his. It sounded fair enough but when I got to the stables and saw Night watching me expectantly, waiting for me to lead him outside, I could not do it. I hid the horses in a nearby forest and transferred them to a distant location a few days later. Of course, the headmaster was not aware of this little fact. He believed that his horses had been roasted to death in the fire. He was utterly distraught and I had my revenge.”

“Well, at least you didn’t kill them. You were better than Dumbledore.” Harry pointed out. He had imagined that his fights with Snape were fierce but compared to the fights between Snape and Dumbledore, they were child’s play. What was wrong with the two of them? Why did they hurt each other like that. “The two of you sure have a very twisted relationship.”

“We most certainly do.” Snape snorted. A flock of birds were standing on a nearby rock. They chirped cheerfully, hoping up and down.

“It’s odd. At first I thought that I liked Dumbledore but the more I learn about him, the more I dislike him. He really is an idiot, isn’t he?”

“Perhaps.” Snape stated evenly.

“I mean, he burned your pets and he locked you up in his house. I always assumed that he was wise, a bit like Gandalf, the all-knowing leader of the resistance against the Dark Lord. But apparently, he’s nothing but a real jerk.”

“He has his good qualities and his bad qualities like the rest of humanity. Your assessment of him seems to be too hasty.” Snape countered quickly. His voice had lost some its anger and now he sounded almost guilty, guilty for revealing the bad side of his mentor’s nature to one of his students.

“Why do you do that, sir?” Harry couldn’t stop himself from asking. He knew he shouldn’t press. Dumbledore was a sensitive topic with Snape. He must tread carefully but his words always had a habit of tumbling out of his mouth without permission.

“Do what?”

“Why do you defend him? Obviously, you’re very mad at what he did to you but you still don’t want to hate him. In fact, you still have that tone of voice you use when you talk about Dumbledore. It’s as if you’re fond of the man despite all the bad things he did to you. Why is that?”

“It’s...”

“Complicated?” Harry completed Snape sentence with an exasperated smile.

“Precisely.” Snape was amused. His lips must be twitching now as he watched Harry. Oh, why did his sight have to be taken away? If only Harry could see him again, read his mildly shifting expressions like he used to do. “My… fondness for the headmaster originated from my childhood. The relationship between us truly is complicated.”

“Well, we’ve still got some time before you have to leave. Maybe you could tell me all about it.” Harry pointed out hopefully. He was very interested in Snape’s story. The man was so intensely private. Harry hardly knew anything about him. It’ll be nice to learn something about his childhood. Maybe it’ll even help them get to know each other better. Besides, it was only fair. Snape knew all about his crappy past.

“I am afraid that my childhood was rather dreary and unpleasant. In fact, it shares a few significant elements with yours.”

“Really, how is that?” Harry tried to imagine Snape as a little boy but he failed completely. In his mind, the man was always the imposing professor with the bellowing black robes. It was impossible to think of him in any other way. Maybe Snape wouldn’t mind letting him see some of his childhood photos. “Were you an orphan too?”

“No. But I do know what it’s like to grow up with someone who despises everything about you. I have a significant amount of expertise in being a constant disappointment.”

“Why would your parents be disappointed in you? You were an impressive student! You started Hogwarts at the age of nine, a full two years younger than the rest of the students but still, you managed to be the first in your class for all seven years. Seriously, your grades were all O’s. You sound even worse than Hermione!” The niffler hopped down from his lap and started to run around on the grass, probably hoping to dig up a few shining objects. There was a sudden flap of wings. The niffler had scared off a group of pigeons that were perched on a rock nearby. Were the pigeons real? Or were they simply illusions? If Harry touched them, will they vanish with a puff of smoke?

“And how exactly do you know all this, Mr. Potter?”

“Hermione is very interested in this boring book called ‘Hogwarts: A History.’ Nobody but her has ever read it. It’s thousands of pages long! It has a section dedicated to the hundred most impressive students in the history of Hogwarts. You were one of them. Hermione told us all about you, your grades, the potions you invented, the spells you created.”

“I was aware of that entry. I have read the book a few times myself and let me assure you, it is far from boring. It simply requires a sharp mind to understand.”

“Are you calling me dumb, professor?” Harry asked indignantly.

“I fail to understand why that surprises you. Have I not expressed that sentiment many times before?” Snape tone was teasing. Harry frowned at him in mock anger.

“And here I thought you were starting to be nice!”

“A word of advice, Mr. Potter, never mix the concepts of nice and Slytherin together. It is positively blasphemous.” Harry smiled and leaned his head back on Snape’s leg. It was so peaceful here. The chirping of birds, the rushing sound of water, the gently blowing breeze. Harry could stay in this room forever.

“How could your parents ever be disappointed in a son like you, professor? Was it because of the dark mark?”

“No. But that is merely because they never knew. I am sure that even if my father had known, he would not have cared. In fact, it would have made him happy. It would have given him additional reason to hope that I would soon come to an early grave.”

“I know the feeling.” Harry felt a hand rest on his head. It didn’t move. It just rested there lightly. “My Uncle was told that I nearly died last year. You know what he said to me the first day I went back home, ‘Why the hell didn’t that damn snake eat you alive. It would’ve saved us all the trouble of keeping a freak like you in the house.’ That was what he called me. Freak. And he had this expression on his face, as if I was a rotten piece of cabbage.” The hand moved softly, carding through his hair. Snape’s fingers were cold as always but Harry couldn’t remember a time when he felt more at peace.

“Yes, it most certainly is tiring, hearing the hate in the voice of the one person who is supposed to take care for you. My father choose a similar nickname for me. ‘Half breed’ was the one name he used in the rare occasions when he directly addressed me.”

“Why did he call you that, professor?”

“Because of my blood status. As you know, my mother is a muggle. My father, as a pureblood supremacist, despised me for the muggle blood that runs in my veins. I was a taint to the Snape family honor.” Harry eyebrows rose to his hairlines. That, he definitely hadn’t expected. He always imaged that Snape had been anti-muggle but he had never imagined this, that Snape had been prejudiced against for having a muggle mother.

“But if he didn’t want a half blood son, then why marry a muggle.”

“It was… convenient. He had high political aspirations but his reputation for pureblood prejudice stood in his way. He married my mother in an attempt to show the minister of magic that he had turned a new leaf. His plan worked. The minister promoted him to the highest post available. He was next in line for minister of magic when he died tragically. He saw me and my mother as the prize he had to pay in order to further his political carrier. He had no love for us.” Poor Professor Snape. What kind of way was that to grow up? Hated by his father for something he couldn’t help. Harry knew what that felt like. He knew exactly what it felt like. In this moment, Harry felt closer to his guardian than he had ever felt before. Out of all people, Snape understood Harry. He knew what rejection felt like. Snape’s fingers continued to stroke his hair, brushing the strands away from his forehead. Harry sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.

“What about your mother, sir? You told me once that she and you were close.”

“We were. In fact, once, we were inseparable. We were united by our common hatred towards our father. Our bedrooms were next to each other’s while my father’s was in a different wing of the house. At night, when we both couldn’t sleep, we used to send coded message through the wall. Two taps meant, ‘I had a bad dream.’ One tap meant, ‘Come, I need you.’ “

“And every morning, at the break of dawn, we would steal into the attic and we would read books for hours. My father did not allow any muggle items in the house but mom had managed to sneak in her favorite novels. She read them to me over and over again until I could recite some of them from memory. I used to love sitting cross-legged on the attic floor, listening to her voice.” That sounded so perfect. An image materialized inside Harry’s mind. An image of him and Snape sitting on the orange armchair by the fireplace. An open book was in front of them and Snape’s deep baritone voice was reading to him. Harry smiled softly. Could that ever happen? If he asked, would Snape read a part of his favorite novel to him?

“She has a beautiful voice.” Snape continued. Harry could hear the smile as he spoke. His voice had taken on a far off quality, as if no longer remembered that Harry was sitting next to him, listening raptly to his every word. “Mom is a singer. She told me stories of the times she had toured the countries with a musical group called the Celtic Woman. Their songs were breathtakingly amazing. She plays the violin, the flute and the piano. And most of all, she sings like an angel. When I listened to her songs, I was content. My cruel father with his harsh words and quick fists did not matter, my antisocial nature did not matter. She truly is an extraordinary woman.” Snape’s voice drifted off. They sat there, the two of them in a companionable silence. Leaves crunched as quick feet scuttled over dried leaves. Harry heard a nibbling sound. Perhaps it was a squirrel? There were little splashing sounds as fish jumped in and out of the pool.

“That sounds so magical, professor. You really did love her, didn’t you? I wish I had that, growing up, a mother to take care of me. I would’ve given anything to have my mother back, if only for one day. I wish I had known her. I wish I knew what her voice sounded like. Could she sing? Did she have a favorite song? Did she have a favorite book? I hate not knowing.” Harry hit the water with his feet, hard. Cold water splashed onto them. It soaked into his shirt and into Snape’s black robes. Harry held his breathe, waiting for Snape to call him a silly fool but he didn’t even notice. His fingers just continued to softly stroke his hair, their rhythm unchanging. Harry wondered what happened to his mother. Snape referred to her in the present tense but Harry knew that she was no longer with him. Why was that? What had happened to her?

“Perhaps we could remedy that.” Snape broke into Harry’s thoughts.

“What?” Harry asked, disorientated.

“Your mother. Perhaps there is a way for you to know more about her. After all, she must have had friends at school. We could contact them and ask for information regarding your mother. Perhaps they might even be willing to lend you some memories.” Harry blinked. He didn’t know what to say. “Of course, it will certainly be nothing like knowing her personally but it might be a pleasant experience all the same.”

“That sounds fantastic, sir. I didn’t even think of that. Finding something out about my mother, maybe even seeing her alive. That…” Harry’s voice broke. He had to swallow before he could go on. “That will be amazing.”

“I shall arrange it, then.” Harry only nodded. He couldn’t trust himself to speak. Finally, he could get to know his parents, the people who gave their lives for his. He couldn’t believe Snape was actually willing to do this for him. Of course, Snape only mentioned gathering memories about his mother. That in itself was amazing but Harry hoped to get memories about his father too. He didn’t want to mention James Potter now, not when everything is so perfect but maybe, in time, he can convince Snape to let him learn something about his father too. Then, maybe he will learn what it truly means to be a Potter, he will understand what his father expected of him. Sometimes he thought that his father was up there, watching him. Harry really did not want to disappoint him.

“It is rather ironic.” Snape started speaking again. “You wish you had known your mother while, at times, I wish the exact opposite. I wish I had never known her.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed, completely taken aback. “Why would you wish that? Your mother sounds fantastic. You guys had the perfect relationship!”

“You are right. When I was a young child, we did have the perfect relationship but then, as I grew older, it changed. My mother was cruelly ill used by my father. At first, this only made her affection for me stronger, I was her only comfort, the only one who stood by her side. But then, as I grew up, I looked more and more like my father. I turned from a blessing to a curse. I was a constant reminder of the man who had tormented her for years, the man who had ruined her life. It seems that I truly am my mother’s son. I once disliked you for the very same reason.” Snape finished bitterly. Harry felt sorry for the man. He, at least, had the security that his mother loved him until her death. What must it be like, to watch the mother you love slowly come to hate you? It had hurt when Aunt Petunia rejected him but Snape’s situation must’ve been a whole lot harder to bare. No wonder he was bitter all the time, he had led a tough life.

“What happened then, sir? Did the two of you ever patch things up?”

“No. On the contrary, as time wore on, we drifted apart. She got into the habit of falling into unexpected rages. She lashed out at me suddenly and it left me confused and angry. That is when I began to take refuge with the Headmaster.”

“Wait, I thought you were still a kid when this happened?”

“I was. I was a student at Hogwarts.”

“So you knew Dumbledore well even before you became a professor. How come? Normally, we students don’t really talk to the headmaster much, not unless we’re in trouble.”

“That is one question I do not know the answer to, not entirely. I was always close to the headmaster ever since my second year when he found me in the forbidden forest, talking to a snake. He has always shown a keen interest in me, more than he did in the other students. I never understood why. Perhaps it is because I was the youngest in the year or perhaps it is because of my impressive grades. For whatever reason, the headmaster invited me to stay at his home for vacations and, as my mother’s behavior got increasingly confusing, I assented. Healer’s Touch was different from Snape Manor. It was a safe haven from the tense atmosphere at home.

The headmaster and I did have the occasional unpleasant and heated argument but overall, we managed to live harmoniously. We talked quite a lot. The headmaster is very fond of talking and he often invited me to have a cup of tea with him. We would share stories from our respective lives. That is how I came to know more about the headmaster than anyone else. He paid attention to me when no one else would. That is why I feel a certain… loyalty towards him.” Harry frowned. He did understand Snape’s feelings. Him growing to love the person who took care of him in his time of need. That was a lot like him and Snape. But still… there was something odd about it. Why would Dumbledore randomly invite Snape to his house? He had never asked Harry, and he was the Boy-Who-Lived, the child Dumbledore was supposed to protect. Dumbledore’s interest in Snape was strange and so was the way he vouched for Snape despite not trusting him. It felt to Harry as if a piece of the puzzle was missing.

“And what about your mother, sir? Did you just never go back home?”

“Of course I did. I only spent some vacation time with the headmaster, the majority of the time, I was home with my mother. Her moods were unpredictable and savage and yet, she still remained my mother. She was the woman who had defended me from my father for years. Even when I was with the headmaster she was frequently in my thoughts.“

“But then, where is she now? What happened to your parents?”

“My father died when I was thirteen. Snape Manor had been burned down by fiendfyre and he was consumed by the flames. Thankfully, my mother had managed to escape. She bought a small cottage by the seaside and the two of us lived together. She seemed to revert back to her usual pleasant self. I thought she was happy. I thought father’s influence had been lifted from her.” Snape was speaking faster. His voice was thick with sadness and regret. “I really did imagine that finally, we could be a normal happy family.”

“On the first day of the Christmas vacations, I rushed home. I had managed to find a rare special edition of Wuthering Heights, her favorite novel. My initial plan had been to give it to her for Christmas but I simply could not wait. I yearned to see her glowing face when she saw the book. Upon arriving home, I called out to her but she did not answer. I looked all around the house but she was nowhere to be found. Finally, I found it, that blasted note. It was on the kitchen table.

Dear Severus, it read, I cannot do this anymore. I cannot watch you slowly turn into the cruel man your father was. I am leaving forever. Never try to find me.” Harry was completely shocked. How could his mother do that to him? How could she just leave her thirteen year old son all alone, a son who loved her? How can anyone be that heartless?

“That is it. Nothing more.” Snape continued speaking. He was agitated. “I am her only son, we went through hell together, how could she just leave? How could she imagine that I would ever become like my father? I am not that cruel. I am not that evil. I cannot be. I am not my father.” Snape was trembling with anger. He stood up abruptly, letting Harry’s head fall off his leg. Harry heard him pacing the room. The leaves crunched under his feet as he moved back and forth, back and forth. Harry felt him take in deep unsteady breaths as he tried to control his emotions. Harry stood up without a second thought and walked up to him. He gave his guardian a hug. This time, Snape’s hands immediately came up to hug him back. He held Harry tight to him.

“I am not my father.” He whispered so quietly, Harry almost didn’t hear him.

“Of course you’re not, sir!” Harry reassured him. The buttons on his robes pressed onto Harry’s cheeks as he held his guardian tight. “You’re nothing like him. You’d make a great father. You’re the best guardian I’ve ever had and that includes the Weasleys. You’ve given me a home, professor, and you’ve take such good care of me, the son of a man you hate. Would your father have done that?” Harry really meant it. Snape was the best thing that has happened to him and he really really did not want him to be upset. How dare his mother leave him like that? If Harry ever met her, he would give her a piece of his mind. “Your mother was wrong, professor. You would’ve made a great son if only she had given you a chance.” It took a while for Snape’s breathing to even out. Then, he slowly disentangled himself from the embrace.

“I…” Snape cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed. “I do apologize for this outburst.” He was back to his formal self again. In a way, Harry was relieved. He didn’t like seeing his professor so upset. Poor Snape. Being hated by his father, rejected by his mother and distrusted by his mentor can’t have been easy.

“This is all that blasted Headmaster’s fault.” Snape sneered angrily. “He used legilimency on me, bringing distant memories to the forefront of my mind, memories best forgotten. There was a reason they were buried. God forbid, if I continue to sound so sentimental, I might get an invitation to enter Hufflepuff house!”

“You never know, you might look great all in yellow.” Harry grinned. “You could even dye your hair blond. Show a bit badger pride.”

“The horror! How can you even say such things? I shall have nightmares for years to come, thank you very much, you incorrigible little Gryffindor twit!” Harry smiled softly. Now, they were back on familiar ground. Snape was back in control of his emotions. The past was safely buried, at least for now. They both sat down on the bench and finished the rest of their picnic, talking of lighter matters. They talked about Harry’s fondness for Quidditch and Snape’s love for reading. They discussed the upcoming year and the potions they were going to brew. Harry was so glad to have him back. He was quickly getting used to this man and his constant teasing. But all too soon for Harry’s liking the time had come for Snape to leave.

“Well, I should get going. I cannot be sure when I shall return since that will depend on the Headmaster’s schedule.” Snape stated evenly. Harry sighed and looked towards him.
“I guess you’re right but it’s been so nice seeing you again. Maybe we could try another bonding exercise when you come back. How about a game of Quidditch?” Harry could very well imagine Snape’s sneer at the thought of flying but Harry couldn’t think of something better for them to do, at least not now.

“Perhaps we might consider travelling instead. Of course, that shall be after you regain your sight.”

“Cool!” Harry jumped up excitedly. He had never travelled before. When the Dursleys went on vacation, he was always left behind. Maybe this could be the perfect opportunity to catch up. “Where can we go to?”

“I do have this place in mind. Among the memories the headmaster has dug out, there was a pleasant one, a trip with my friends to the wizarding section of Alton Towers and…”

“Alton Towers, the amusement park, has a wizarding section!” That, Harry really hadn’t expected. Dudley had once been to Alton Towers and he had described everything in great detail, making sure to let Harry know exactly what he had missed but a wizarding Alton Towers? That sounded so much better.

“I take it that you are interested then?”

“Definitely! What’s in it?”

“I shall tell you that another time, now I most certainly must be off.” He stood up. Harry heard the swish of his robes as he spun around, ready to leave. Harry hated this, watching him go, it reminded him too much of the last time they had said goodbye. Snape had been imprisoned and unable to reach him again. What if that happened again? What if Harry won’t see him again?

“Professor?”

“Yes, Mr. Potter.” He was already on the way. His voice came from a few meters to his right.

“You will come back, won’t you?” Harry asked fearfully.

“Of course, I will, Mr. Potter. Where else would I go?”

“But what if Dumbledore knows about your escape? What if he has sealed the room against Professor Sprout? Then you can never get out!”

“He does not know, Mr. Potter. How can he? Did you tell anyone that I am out?”

“Of course not! I didn’t even tell Ron and Hermione.”

“Good, then he cannot know. I do not need to remind you, Mr. Potter, that it must remain that way. You cannot tell anyone that I have come out.”

“I definitely won’t, sir. I don’t want to get you in trouble. I want to see you again as soon as possible.”

“The same goes for me, child. I will return the moment the Headmaster leaves. Now, good day, Mr. Potter.” Before Harry could say anything else, he heard the creak of the door opening. Then it clicked shut as the professor strode away, He was gone. He really was gone. Harry sighed and flopped back onto the bench. He really hoped everything will be alright. Snape was rescued once, it won’t be so easy next time.

He shouldn’t worry. He really shouldn’t. Snape knows how to take care of himself. But not against Dumbledore. That man is the most powerful wizard alive, no one stood a chance against him. What if he knows? What if there are detection spells that can… No. No. He is worried about nothing. Snape had lived with Dumbledore for years, the headmaster wouldn’t harm him. He was like a father to Snape. Harry was being silly. Dumbledore is not a threat to Snape. If he traps his guardian again, Harry will simply demand to be brought back to him. Dumbledore was not an unreasonable man, he would surely listen.

Harry took a deep breath and attempted to calm his conflicting thoughts. There was no use worrying. He focused his attention on this enchanted world around him instead. The stream gurgling past, the leaves rustling, the scent of the roses in the air. It was peaceful, it was tranquil. Harry let his worrying slide away as let himself immerse deeper and deeper into the sounds of this lively world. The niffler was coming around again. Harry could hear him sniffing nearby. Snape was going to be fine. Harry exhaled slowly and let himself relax. It was nice being in this room, alone except for the animals moving all around him. There was so much joy in this place. Despite the fact that it was an illusion, everything felt so real.

A duck was quaking. Harry could hear the waddle of webbed feet on the stones. Her little ducklings soon picked up the cry. Harry could imagine them, the ducklings moving in single file behind their mother. What color were they? Brown and green? Were they normal or could they be magical in some way? Harry pictured to himself an orange duck with skin that glowed in the dark. It was farfetched but it was possible. Anything was possible with magic. Even a…

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing, Harry?” Harry jumped up so fast, he nearly toppled over into the pool.

-------- HP --------

Ron? Ron was here? How the hell was that possible? How did he get here? Did he hear about Snape’s past? That thought made Harry very uncomfortable. That was a private conversation, something that Snape had chosen to share with him. Ron had no right to listen in! And then, it hit him. The sudden sense of panic. Ron could’ve heard everything about Snape’s plan to deceive Dumbledore. If he went to the headmaster, Snape was in big trouble. Harry gulped and tried to remain calm. He could talk to Ron. He could reason with him.

“You helped Snape escape! What’s the matter with you?” Ron yelled.

“Ron, it… it’s not what you think.” Harry turned this way and that, trying to determine where his friend’s voice was coming from. He must make this right. He can’t let Ron ruin everything. He can’t let Ron go to Dumbledore.

“Really, then what is this, Harry? What is that greasy git of the dungeons doing here? Dumbledore trapped him in his house. How did he get out?” Ron was yelling. His voice echoed around the room. There was a quick plop plop as frightened frogs disappeared under the surface of the water.

“Ron, calm down. Let’s look at this in a rational way.” Hermione’s voice broke in. She was here too! Merlin, have they been following him? Why would they do that? Did they think he was up to something illegal?

“You too, Hermione, why are you guys spying on me?”

“We were not spying on you, Harry! We were worried when you suddenly disappeared without saying goodbye. Mrs. Weasley told us that you had gone to stay with Professor Sprout but that didn’t make any sense. Why would you leave the Burrow and go live with her? You barely know her.” Hermione stated, trying to be placating.

“Mione thought you must’ve snuck back in here. You were acting weird ever since you got to the Burrow and you acted even weirder when you heard that the dungeon bat was trapped at Dumbledore’s place. Mione thought that was because you were missing Snape. I thought that was pure crap! Why would you miss the git who made your life miserable back at Hogwarts? Why would any decent person miss someone like him? But then, Hermione is usually right so we flooed here and there you were, exchanging life stories with Snape!”

“Harry, I saw how upset you were when I told you what I had seen at Healer’s Touch. I thought that you’d do something like this, something that will get you in trouble. We wanted to stop you but obviously we were too late. You helped free Professor Snape, didn’t you?” Harry gulped. There was no point lying. They knew everything. What was he going to do now? How can he make them understand that Snape is innocent? Can’t they see that the man cared for him? That he’s always ready to protect Harry no matter what happens?

“Look guy, its not what you think. Snape’s innocent. He didn’t curse me…”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” Ron’s face must be glowing with anger by now. Even the tips of his ears would turn red. That was never a good sign. It was impossible to reason with him when he got like this. “Snape is many things but innocent is not one of them! He cursed you, Harry. Why the hell can’t you accept that? Why are you trying to deny the truth? It’s so bloody obvious! Even Dumbledore, who vouched for Snape in his trials, knows the truth.”

“But he’s wrong! It was another death eater who cursed me. Snape said that…”

“Snape said?” Ron interrupted angrily. “Why would you believe him? Of course, he’s lying. He wants to get out of trouble. He’s feeding you all sorts of lies and you just gobble them up. That sob story about his mother? It’s ridiculous. He’s just trying to manipulate you into liking him and obviously its worked. I can’t believe you’d be this thick, Harry!”

“Oh, Ronald, stop it. Harry has grown to care for his guardian. It’s perfectly natural.” Hermione snapped angrily.

“Natural? What’s natural about caring for the most unpleasant man in the planet!” The wind whistled around them. It was getting louder and louder. The birds continued to chirp cheerfully overhead, unaware of the angry argument that was going on beneath them. Harry flopped back onto the bench. Think. Think. There must be a way out of this, a way to convince them not to go to Dumbledore. Harry remembered everything Snape said about his mentor, the burned snakes, the constant mistrust and the bitterness seeping out of his voice. Snape had been miserable at Healer’s Touch. He shouldn’t be trapped in there again, forced to face an angry Dumbledore for something he didn’t do. Oh God, why did his friends have to follow him? They were supposed to support him, not follow him around as if he was a criminal.

“Guys, you must listen to me. Snape didn’t do anything. He’s trying to help.” Ron groaned in exasperation. He had started to pace the room rapidly. Harry could hear his heavy footfalls crushing the pebbles on the pathway. “You can’t tell Dumbledore that he’s out. Not yet, not until Snape finds the antidote and cures me. Please, guys, you must promise me not to say anything to Dumbledore.”

“How the hell can you even ask us that? Of course, we’re going to tell Dumbledore! Just because you’re acting like a fool, doesn’t mean we have to do the same.”

“Oh, for bloody crying out loud, Ron, why can’t you guys trust me? I know what I’m doing. I know that Snape’s innocent. Can’t you guys just support me on this?”

“Tell me, Harry, why has Snape suddenly become so important to you? Why do you insist on saying he’s innocent when clearly he’s not?” There was a moment of absolute silence while the birds continued to sing all around them. There was the quick flap of wings as they flew contentedly from tree to tree. Why had Snape suddenly become so important to him? Why did he miss Snape so much when he was at the Borrow. The Weasleys were perfectly nice people. In fact, they were much nicer than Snape. Why did Harry want Snape? He couldn’t explain it even to himself, let alone to Ron.

“I…I don’t really know. I just… He’s my guardian. He’s my family now. Is it so wrong to want to get close to him? You don’t know what it’s like, Ron, to not have someone who cares for you, to always be alone. It’s awful. I used to look at you and your big family and I wanted that. I wanted a family. I wanted someone who didn’t call me a freak every day of my life. I wanted a guardian who didn’t look at me with disappointment in their eyes because I didn’t managed to get killed by Voldemort. Snape? He cares. He saved my life so many times and even when he’s angry with me, he’s still there whenever I need him. It’s nice, to be cared for, to have an adult to depend on. Is that so bad, guys?”

“No, Harry, your feelings are perfectly understandable.” Hermione sighed. She sounded terribly sad. “But the thing is, Harry, the person you currently look up to as a parental figure could be dangerous. No, Harry!” He had opened his mouth to argue but Hermione cut him off.

“You’re too close to him. You’re not objective. You cannot see that there is a very high probability that he did curse you. He is a good liar. How do you know that he is not lying to you? You don’t, Harry. You can only trust him and hope that you are right. You can’t know anything for sure. Dumbledore imprisoned Snape for a reason.” Harry hesitated. What if Hermione was right? What if he really was being an idiot? He was at Snape’s mercy all the time. Snape cursing him was the most likely explanation but … it wasn’t true. Harry just knew it, it wasn’t true. The way Snape had rushed him to Saint Mungo’s when he fainted in the corridor. The panic and worry as he plagued the healers, asking them again and again what was wrong with Harry, the way Snape confided in him today, telling him all about his troubled childhood. Snape cared for him. He would never curse Harry. They were wrong. They were all wrong. Ron, Hermione, even Dumbledore. They were wrong. They’ll see. Snape will find out who really cursed him and he will find the antidote. Then, they’ll also see that Snape is innocent.

“We were here the entire time, you know? We were under the invisibility cloak when Snape walked in and started to pour out his lies.” Ron stated in a slightly calmer voice but the anger was still there, Harry could hear it.

“How do you know they were lies. He could’ve been…”

“I heard everything. I heard you tell him how miserable you were at the Borrow. I listened while you begged him not to take you back there, to my home. You would rather stay here alone than live in the Borrow with us. Why is that, Harry?” Ron’s voice had gone quiet and intense. He thought that Harry didn’t want to spend time with him anymore. No wonder he was so angry!

“It’s not about you guys! You and your parents were fantastic. I just missed my guardian. That’s all.”

“So, that’s it, isn’t it? My family is not good enough for you anymore.”

“Ron, that’s not what…”

“When summer began you were so happy to spend time with us. You always said how great it would be if Dumbledore sent you to live with us. Then, we could really be brothers. Remember how we used to stay up at night and talk about all the fun we’d have if you came to live with us. We’d share a room and together, we’d prank Fred and George. We’d have endless Quidditch matches in the backyard. You told me how happy you’d be to come down and have breakfast with all of us chatting about our day. Remember all that, Harry? Back then, only a few weeks ago, we were enough for you. Now you’ve come to stay with Snape for a few weeks and suddenly, you can’t wait to see the end of us.”

“You don’t understand, Ron. I…”

“You’re damn right, I don’t understand! Did you think I didn’t notice the way you behaved the last few days? All you could talk about was Snape. Where is Snape? Why isn’t he here? He promised he’d come back for me so why isn’t he here? You went on and on about him. Merlin, I was so fed up with you and your obsession with Snape! You only wanted him. We were there for you, all of us were. Mom, Dad, Fred, Geroge, Ginny, me, Hermione and even Percy! But no, you ignored all of us! You didn’t want us anymore. Suddenly we weren’t good enough for you.”

“You know that’s not true, Ron! I was blind and weak and I was worried that Snape had abandoned me. You guys still mean a lot to me…”

“But not as much as the greasy git of the dungeons, the person who insults you and your father, the person who has a vendetta against Gryffindor House, the dangerous death eater.”

“But he’s working for the light side. Why can’t you people ever remember that. He’s a spy for the light. He’s no hero but he does what he can to help the light.” Harry was shouting too. He wanted to be heard, he needed to be heard. He can’t let Ron think that he meant nothing to Harry. That wasn’t true. Harry had to make him understand that. But Ron wasn’t listening to his words. He continued speaking as if Harry hadn’t even opened his mouth.

“Why is that, Harry? Why do you prefer him to us? Is it because we wear second hand clothes and sleep in a croaked house? Are we not rich and glamorous enough for you?”

“What? That’s ridiculous! How can you even think that? How can you think this is about money. I don’t care about that.”

“I heard you guys planning a visit to Alton Towers. It sounds lovely, doesn’t it? All the dragons and cool attractions, things that me and my family could never afford. Look at this house! It’s enormous. What? Did you get so used to walking around these stupid corridors that my small house can’t interest you anymore? Is that it? My home is too small for you now. My parents are too simple. Is that it, Harry?”

“No! God, Ron, why won’t you listen to me!”

“Because I’m sick and tired of you and your endless ramblings about Snape! Back at the Burrow, you were never satisfied with anything. We tried, we all tried so hard to make you happy but no, all you cared about was the greasy git!

You know what, Harry? I’m not telling Dumbledore anything! Go to Alton towers with Snape, have fun with the lying death eater. I don’t give a damn what you do! I don’t give a damn if he blasts you into a thousand pieces! Obviously, me and my family are no longer good enough for the high and mighty Boy-Who-Lived. Do whatever the hell you want. I’m done with you!” Ron’s robes swished in the wind as he spun around suddenly and strode towards the door. Harry could hear his heavy boots thumping on the pebbles as he angrily ran out of the room.

“Ron, wait!” But it was too late. The door slammed shut with a final bang. He was gone. Harry had lost him. He should have paid more attention to his best friend when he was at the Borrow. He should have taken the time to talk to him properly, to make him understand. But he didn’t do any of that. He had been an idiot and now, Ron was gone. No. No. This can’t be happening! This can’t be real! Why can’t he understand? Why can’t he see how much Harry wants to have a family?

Harry felt the bench dip slightly as Hermione sat down next to him. At least she was still here. That was a good sign. God, he didn’t know what he’d do if Hermione decided to walk out as well. They were his best friends, his partners. Without them, who will Harry turn to when he has to break the rules? Who will panic with him when it was time for exams or when the next Quidditch match was coming up? They had been through so much together last year. They had faced a fully grown mountain troll, murderous keys, a giant chess set and a crazy dark wizard together. Surely, that meant something. Surely all that can’t go away just because of a simple misunderstanding? Harry remembered the way Ron had sacrificed himself on that chessboard, giving Harry the opportunity to move forward and defeat Voldemort. Was that the same Ron who walked out on him now, just because Harry wanted Snape to be his guardian? How is that possible? Warm hands reached out and rested comfortingly on his own.

“Oh, Harry. Don’t look so miserable.” Hermione’s voice came from right next to him.

“How can I not, Hermione? I just lost my best friend.”

“Harry, you know how Ron is. He gets angry easily and he says things that he doesn’t mean. He was hurt by the way you ignored him and he just lashed out. That’s what Ron does!”


“So…” Harry bit his lip. He didn’t dare hope. Hope was never good. It led to disappointment. He shouldn’t hope but then, how can he accept that Ron is gone? “So you think that Ron will come back. You think we’ll be friends again.”

“Definitely, Harry! He just needs a bit of time to cool off. And I’ll help. I’ll talk to him and try to knock some sense into that stubborn mind of his. Really, the idea of you rejecting his family because they have no money is plain ridiculous! Anyone can see that!”

“Then, why didn’t Ron see it? How can he believe I would ever think like that.”

“Ron’s very insecure when it comes to money problems. You know that, Harry. He has to wear second hand robes and use crumbling books every day. It’s embarrassing for him. He thinks that people look down on him for it.”

“But that’s not true! Well, maybe gits like Malfoy and the other Slytherins do that but nobody cares what they think! None of his friends think any less of him for not having much money. I definitely don’t!”

“And I really hope that one day Ron will truly understand that, but for now, it’s a constant issue with him. When you preferred Professor Snape to his family he assumed what he already feared. He doesn’t understand that his family has nothing to do with it. You have spent time with the professor and you, who want a family so much, saw that in Professor Snape. It’s normal. Dangerous and worrying but normal.”

“So, does that mean you’re not mad at me for liking Snape?”


“Of course not, Harry! I’m worried but I understand.” Harry nodded and slumped back, leaning his head on the bench. It doesn’t sound so bad. Hermione’s right, he’s worried about nothing. Ron will come around.

The sound of running water was peaceful. A quiet trickling sound like a distant melody. Bees were buzzing around him, their little wings beating frantically as they went from flower to flower. Harry wondered what they were like? Were they real flowers or were they an illusion? What did this garden look like? Apart from the faint smell of damp and moss, the rest of the charms were very effective. Sitting here, listening to the sounds of the garden buzzing with life all around him, Harry could almost forget that he was in a solitary room deep in the dungeons. The garden felt so real, the amazing sound effects, the feel of grass under his toes and if he tried hard enough, even the faint smells of the myriads of flowers all around him. What did this garden look like? Snape normally preferred creepy atmospheres filled with ugly and distorted plants. Was this garden like that too? Harry doubted it. The sounds felt so peaceful, so unlike Snape. Damn, Harry wished he could see something. What color were the flowers? How big was this room? What did the soothing waterfall look like? Harry wished so much that he could see the water glistening brilliantly in the light. Hopefully, when Snape returns, he will have some answers for Harry. Then, this uniform blackness will end and Harry will be able to properly perceive the world around him again. Of course, that would happen only if Snape gets to investigate. If Dumbledore finds out the truth and traps him in the manor, it will take so much longer for Harry to get his sight back.

“What are you going to do now, Hermione? Are you going to tell Dumbledore everything?” Hermione didn’t respond right away. She was thinking hard. Harry pictured the way she looked when she was concentrating. Her forehead scrunched and her mouth twisted into an odd shape, her eyebrows drawn together and hair falling over her face, completely forgotten. Harry bit his lip and waited. If Hermione decided to do something then nobody could persuade her against it. All Harry could do was wait and see what she could come up with. Come on, Hermione, just let it go. Pretend you didn’t see anything. Surely that’s not so hard. Everything depends on this, my sight, Snape’s liberty, the possibility of Snape and me living together again. Harry fidgeted with his shirt button nervously.

“Alright, Harry.” He let out a sigh of relief at her words. Thank God, that’s at least one complication taken care of. Who knows how many others will come up?

“I will not tell Professor Dumbledore anything but I cannot let you stay here under Professor Snape’s roof while there is still so much doubt about his innocence.”

“Well, what do you want me to do, Hermione? Go to the Burrow again? I can’t do that. Ron doesn’t want me there anymore. I’m no danger here, Hermione.”

“You say that because you trust Snape but your judgement has been compromised. If he is guilty he could attack you again while you are so completely dependent on him.”

“But you heard what he said. Snape isn’t living here for now. He’s still staying at Healer’s Touch. I’ll be staying with Professor Sprout. I hope you’re not suspecting her of anything too! She’s a Hufflepuff. What can she do?” Harry tried to lighten the mood but it didn’t work. Hermione was rigid as a stick, especially when she had an idea. And Harry got the unpleasant feeling that she did have an idea and he won’t like it one bit.

“Harry, all these problems will be solved if we determine without a shred of doubt whether Snape is guilty or not. What we need is proof.”

“And how exactly are we going to get that?”

“Professor Snape said that he was going to a death eater gathering in Knockturn Alley, didn’t he? Well, I’ll follow him and see what he does. If he’s guilty, then he’ll probably brag to his friends that he cursed the great Harry Potter. If he’s not… well, I’ll see what other death eaters look suspicious.”

“What! You mean you’re planning to sneak into a death eater gathering and spy on Snape? That’s insane! You’ll get yourself killed!”

“I don’t like it either. The risks are considerable but it’s the only way.”

“But… but…” Harry didn’t know what to say. This was so wrong! This was crazy, this was stupid, so unlike cautious, risk-free Hermione. What had she been thinking? She can’t do this! This was not like all the times they had broken school rules last year. This was different. This was more dangerous. Who knows how many death eaters are attending that gathering? If they find her, she’s dead. It’s madness. She can’t seriously do this!

“Hermione, be reasonable! How can you even get into a death eater gathering? They probably have lots of protective spells guarding them. You won’t be able to go anywhere near their meeting place.”

“Yes, there will be protective spells but I won’t go unprepared. I’m taking this invisibility cloak with me. You see, Harry, in the last few days I tested it out and I made a very curious discovery. This cloak bypassed all the heavy protection spells surrounding different high security buildings. It will get me into that meeting.”

“But, Hermione, you don’t know that, not for sure. What if there are detection spells that will unmask you? You’ll be a sitting duck in the middle of a gang of psychopaths and murderers. That’s not okay! Don’t go Hermione!”

“I have to, Harry, your safety is at stake and its worth every risk.” She patted his arm affectionately as she stood up.

“Take care, harry.” The pebbles crunched as she too walked away.

“Wait, Hermione, don’t! You’re being silly!” Harry stood up and made to run after her but he slipped on a patch of lichen and nearly fell, face first, into the ground. By the time he righted himself all was quiet. This time, he was truly alone.

-------- SS --------

Masses of bodies pressed against him. Mothers going shopping with their screaming toddlers, teenagers running up and down the streets, knocking into everybody in sight. Diagon Alley during vacation months was a nightmare. The streets were covered with hundreds of families and young joyful couples running this way and that. It was a mess of multicolored pointed hats and swishing robes. Severus walked quickly along the crooked streets, his glare firmly in place. Most people who recognized him from sight, swiftly moved out of the way. He looked completely out of place in this cheery streets filled with colorful robes and loud laughter.

His robe pocket wriggled. Aryna was curled patiently inside it, waiting for Severus to arrive at a more secluded location. Severus had decided to take her out, giving her the opportunity to roam free. She has been confided to his home for far too long. She was starting to get cranky.

“Hello there, chap. You’re looking a little pasty. How about a nice face cream to get the perfect tan and impress all the ladies. Only 15 sickles and 22 knuts.” A grinning orange dwarf called to Severus from a nearby poster. He was waving a large jar with a hairy hand. Severus glared at the little beast and resisted the urge to snatch the preposterous poster and rip it into a million pieces. A laughing girl running backwards bumped into him and nearly knocked him over. Aryna hissed angrily from inside his pocket. She didn’t take too kindly to being jostled around. Severus took a deep breathe, brushed off his robes and continued to walk, trying his very best to avoid as many people as possible.

It is with immense relief that Severus finally got away from the crowded streets and descended the long staircase into Knockturn alley. Aryna’s head poked out of his pocket, eager to see the streets around her. The bright light and the loud voices of Diagon Alley died away. Sunlight did not reach into these underground streets. Dim lanterns swayed in the corners, partially illuminating the shop fronts. There was no color here. Only a universal black and grey. The place were quiet. Only a few shadowy figures glided through the streets, their voices low and unobtrusive. People stood in the corners of the shops, their faces hidden by the dark. Severus felt his entire body relax. This place was familiar and comforting. It suited exactly to his tastes. The headmaster did not want him coming here. He frowned and shook his head and lectured about bad influences. He did not understand.

Severus glided past Borgin & Burkes, Diabolical Tattoos and dozens of other little shops until he stood in front of a large set of double doors. A sign above the doors read “The Black Basilisk.” Severus and his Slytherin classmates used to hang out here all the time, away from the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley, away from the suspicious glances of the other houses. This place had become a symbol of acceptance and freedom for them. They could be themselves here. There were no accusations, no judgement, just a group of friends hanging out, talking about whatever popped into their heads, doing whatever they felt like. And now, more than a decade later, they were still here.

The rusty hinges groaned fiercely as Severus pushed the doors open. He slipped inside and the doors banged shut behind him. He was in a large room dotted here and there by circular tables. Stiff wooden chairs were scattered around the room. Most of them were empty but a few customers were sitting down in lone corners. A large beefy man sitting by the window was muttering to himself as he bit into a huge leg of mutton. An overflowing jug of firewhiskey was frothing beside him. With a hissed ‘see you later’, Aryna slipped out of his pocket and slithered away, disappearing into the shadows. Severus watched her tail disappear swiftly under a backdoor.

“Hey, Severus, long time no see. Where’ve you been hiding?” Someone whispered from his left. Severus turned around to face the speaker. At first, he didn’t recognize him. The man was sitting down with a black cowl entirely covering his face. He was leaning back on his chair with his feet propped up on the desk. A long brown pipe stuck out of blackened lips. Curls of red smoke rose out of the pipe and spiraled above his head.

“Well, well. Theodore Nott.” Severus’s lips curled upwards in a light smile. This was a surprise. He hasn’t seen the man in years. Not since Severus helped him escape from the clutches of a group of angry aurors. Theodore brusquely kicked the chair next to him towards Severus.

“Sit down, old chap. Let’s chat for a while.”

“I’m afraid I cannot stay long. I have rather pressing matters to attend to.” Severus sat down next to his old classmate, wondering what he was up to this time. There was a prize of a thousand galleons on Theodore’s head. If he has returned to England, he must have some nefarious plan in mind.

“Pressing matters? Remind me again, who are you working for this time? Dumbledore? Voldemort? A random dude walking along the street?” Theodore chuckled and blew a ring of smoke out of his pipe.

“A combination of all three, I believe.” Severus’s lips twitched slightly. “And what, pray tell, brings you back to England? My last informant assured me that you were hiding in a secluded part of the Caribbean Islands.”


“Your informant needs an upgrade, old chap. I have been in England for the last two weeks.” A man sitting in the center of the room called out loudly for a beer. He banged his big fist of the table insistently.

“I see that you have taken a rather risky course of action. What brings you back?” Theodore cast a quick glance around him to make sure that no one was watching. He dug his hand into his robe pocket and took out a small object.

“I have something here that might interest you. It is, after all, your area of expertise.” Theodore placed it onto the table and rolled it over. Severus caught it with his left hand and examined it carefully. It was a potion vial with a transparent liquid swishing inside it. The surface of the liquid was bubbling furiously like boiling water. But the bubbles erupted to let out a sulfurous yellow smoke.

“Recognize that?” Theodore asked proudly. He was beaming as he watched Severus, the pipe dangling casually from his lips.

“Of course. The Peitrifica. A potion designed to transform every single cell in the human body to stone. Unlike normal petrifying spells, this potion’s effects are very slow and painful. Starting from the tips of the fingers and the toes, the transformation gradually spreads inwards until it reaches the heart. The victim could be in agony for hours.”

“Spoken like a true potion’s textbook.” He chuckled, thumping Severus on the back. Another customer entered the pub. It was a woman, a tall beautiful woman with glossy black hair. She smiled at Severus as she passed their table. Something about her expression was familiar. Severus had probably met her before but it was hard to tell for sure, appearance modifying spells were common in Knockturn Alley.

“Were you wantin’ anything, lad?” An elderly man with blackened teeth, waddled over to their table cheerfully.

“Not yet, Arimus, I am merely passing through to the training grounds tonight.” Severus replied with a polite nod of the head. Artimus might look like a shriveled peach but he was a Slytherin and he had helped the younger generations of snakes as best as he could. He had given them sanctuary from Potter and his relentless gang. Slytherins watched out for each other. That is one of their main characteristics. No one would ever betray a fellow Slytherin, no one except Severus Snape, the traitor. He sighed internally and focused his attention back to the vial in his hand. These thoughts are dangerous. He cannot let them resurface, he cannot let his doubts creep in, not now that he had a child to protect. Harry was waiting for him, Harry with his black and white vision of the world. The child cannot understand what he was feeling and Severus hoped to God that he never would.

“And what do you intend to do with such a potion?” Severus asked, focusing his attention back on his smug looking friend. Theodore took his pipe out of his mouth and pointed with the tip to the vial in Severus’s fingers.

“That is the key to everything. It is the reason why I came here.” Severus waited. He suspected what this was all about but he wanted to hear the truth from the man’s lips. A part of Severus hoped that his suspicions were false. Theodore was reckless, he could get into a lot of trouble if he used this potion. What will happen to his son then? Already his son is bitter and miserable because his father was forced to leave them and go into hiding, what will the poor boy feel if his father was captured and sent to Azkaban? Severus cannot help him this time. He used to have a method to help his friends escape from Azkaban. He had found a weak point in its defenses and he, along with Lucius and Narcissa have exploited it. But that way was blocked. Years ago, the Headmaster found out and put a stop to it.

“I’m going to pay a visit to our old friend, Aldonis Finnigan.” Theo clamped his pipe back onto his mouth. A hazy red smoke rose lazily out of the opening. It hung around them, causing them to be shrouded by a reddish mist. He was smoking the Drekthen plant. It was not good for his soul, he knew that. The Drekthen played with his mind, it made him forget the bad memories but the moment he stops smoking it, the memories return with a crushing force. Severus knew that very well, after all, he still remembered its effects. It had taken him years with the help of the Headmaster to get over its poisonous effects. But Theodore was still completely addicted. The pipe was always in his mouth but now, his mind has gotten used to its effects. It no longer keeps the bad memories at bay. It no longer helps him forget Aldonis Finnigan and everything that vile man has done to him and his family.

“Remember him?” Theodore asked, grinning wildly. His tone was casual and carefree. He used to fly into fits of rage when the man was mentioned but the drug was softening the anger. “Fat guy with a big mouth, always laughing? Well, we’ll see who’s laughing at the end of the day.” Theodore chuckled. He leaned forwards and snatched the potion from Severus’s fingers. He threw it into the air once and caught it deftly with his left hand.

“I see.” Severus stated briefly. It was useless trying to persuade his friend not to go along with the plan. He never listened. He would probably thump Severus on the back and tell him not to worry so much all the time. But he did worry. He had to worry. Not only about him, but about his son as well. T.J. was his student, his responsibility. Severus was worried about the boy. He caught the child hanging around the seventh floor outside the Gryffindor dormitories. What had he been up to? Certainly nothing good. Was he following Seamus Finnigan? T.J. was obsessed with his Gryffindor classmate. He kept following him around, his eyes gleaming with hatred. So far he hasn’t done anything but what if his father was captured trying to attack Aldonis? What will happen then? Severus sighed. This was all such a mess.

“I trust that you are not working alone.” He asked, hoping that someone a bit smarter than Theodore would be part of the group.

“Definitely not. When I spread word around about my plans, there were plenty of volunteers to help.” He chuckled as he stuffed the potion back into his pocket. “What about you? Want to come along, old chap?” Severus hesitated. He was tempted. He was solely tempted. For one thing, he could keep Theodore from getting caught. But he couldn’t trust himself to do this. What if the sight of torture awakened the old anger in him, the old desire for revenge? Finnigan had been one of them, one of the people who had ruined all their lives. The beast had watched them suffer day after day and he had laughed. Severus still remembered it. It was a loud, booming laugh that echoed around the tunnels. His belly jiggled as his body moved. They would scream and he would laugh. They would beg for mercy and he would laugh. They lay dying at his feet, gasping for breath and he, the stupid bastard, laughed. Severus clenched his hands into fists, the nails digging into his flesh. Merlin, it would be so satisfying. Watching him slowly turn to stone, watching the moment when the laughter dies on his lips.

But no, he couldn’t. He couldn’t take the risk. He had just managed to put aside his hatred for James Potter and have a decent relationship with little Harry. Revenge had a nasty habit of becoming addictive. What if he took out his anger on Harry again? What if he started hating and insulting the boy? What if he did something worse? No, he couldn’t risk it. He had a child to protect now. A child who was at home, blind and miserable, waiting for his help.

“Not this time, Theodore.” Severus stood up slowly. There was nothing he could do for him now. He had to think about the child first. He had to get away from Theodore, his proposal was too tempting. If he stayed for another moment, he might throw all caution to the wind and follow him on a potentially dangerous vendetta. “I trust I shall see you again soon.”

“What, leaving so soon? Don’t you want to hear the details of the plan?”

“As I stated before, I have pressing matters to attend to.” Severus took a step back.

“All right, then, Severus. Go attend to your ‘pressing matters’.” He chuckled blowing a gust of red smoke out of his pipe. “I won’t be leaving England for a while. We can chat later.” Severus gave his friend a stiff bow before turned around and striding resolutely to the back of the room. He was careful not to look back.

Arimus was chatting animatedly with a little woman at the back of the room. Severus caught his eye and gave him a little nod. It was enough. Arimus understood his meaning perfectly well. He turned around and muttering a quick spell, he pressed an invisible lever on the wall. There was a soft click as a small trapdoor appeared behind the counter. It opened outwards slowly, revealing a staircase of misshapen rocks that spiraled down into the darkness.

Severus walked down slowly, taking care not to step on the lichen. It was a slow descent. The stone was damp and slippery and, in places, it was chiseled away, leaving behind only a narrow section. As he walked further and further into the gloom, he could see a faint purple glow illuminating the walls around him. The staircase spiraled down into a long low tunnel that extended beyond his line of sight. Lanterns were placed on roughly chiseled holes on the wall. Purple flames danced inside the lanterns, turning the black stone walls and floor a strange iridescent color.

Severus walked along the tunnel. There were circular openings on each side that led into different rooms. The death eaters called this place the training grounds. It was where they all came to practice dark magic and to test the effects of illegal potions and poison tipped weapons. Each one of these rooms were dedicated to a different aspect of training. Severus came to the dueling room. It was a wide circular room, largely bare except for the moving mannequins in the corners, their red eyes blazing in the dim light. Quietly, they waited for someone to walk in and activate them. The wands gripped in their right hands seemed to twitch impatiently as they waited. Severus cast a quick glance around the room. No one was there, no one except Toras, a fifteen year old boy who spent his days inside that room. He didn’t talk or pay attention to anyone. He simply haunted the dueling room, his wand pointed at a disfigured mannequin, obsessively casting spell after spell.

Severus walked on. He went past the pyromancer’s room. He could hear the whosh of the flames as they bounced around the stone walls. Lionara must be practicing. She had a natural talent with fire. She didn’t need a wand to make the flames obey her. All she needed was her mind and her anger. And, dear Merlin, she had so much of that buried inside her. Severus passed a dozen other room, each populated by only one or two people. There was the classic weapons room where marvelous magical daggers and spears hung on the walls. Most of their blades were imbibed with poisons and destructive charms. There was the potion experimentation room, Severus’s favorite. Different vials were set into tiny openings in the rock wall. From inside, Severus heard the high-pitched squeaking of thousands of white mice as they scuttled around the big cage in the center of the room.

Finally, he heard voices up ahead. They were coming from the special weapons room, a place where the most unusual dark devices were tested. Severus quickened his step and came to a little round opening on the left side of the tunnel. He could see about a dozen death eaters standing inside. They were gathered around an experimentation table and they were talking excited in loud booming voices. No one even noticed Severus as he slipped quietly inside and joined the group. He saw Mulciber, Fiona, Darvus and there, standing in the middle was Lucius Malfoy. He stood out easily with his fashionable cloths and his snake headed cane.

“I found this beauty up there in Ireland. It was mighty hard to get my hands on them but with a little hex here and a curse there, I got them alright.” Volvus, a tall thin death eater with a wide grin, was holding up a silver casket. His blackened teeth gaped at them as they all watched the casket with fascination. “Oh, it’s deadly alright. There’s no true man out there who wouldn’t want to own this thing here.” He patted the casket almost affectionately.

“Well, what is it then?” A voice barked impatiently.

“It’s something that will make this here body vanish in an instant, that it will.” Volvus pointed with a gnarled white finger at the experimentation table. The specimen was laid out on it. It was a mannequin that was designed to look and have the same physical properties as a real human body. It had muscles and tissues, bones and internal organs. In short, it had everything but a soul. It looked like a middle aged man who was laying naked on the table, his blue eyes wide open and blinking. Even his chest rose and fell rhythmically as he breathed. Severus stepped closer, interested despite everything to know what was in that casket.

“Oh stop dawdled, you dumb ass and show us what’s in that bloody casket or I’ll have your hide. You’ve been hinting and advertising the thing for a long time and we’re mighty tired of your words.”

“Oh alright, then.” Volvus laughed. “Feast your eyes on this.” The casket clicked open and everyone bent forward to have a better look. They stared at the contents, completely dumbfounded. There were only a handful of little insects scuttling around the box, yearning to get out. Their backs were red and covered with black spots.

“Ladybugs?” Someone sneered, recognizing the tiny insects. “You have a box of ladybugs and you call them weapons? Have you completely lost your mind?”

“Ah but these are no ordinary ladybugs. They’re highly dangerous. Watch.” Volvus tipped the casket over the specimen. The ladybugs dropped onto the milk white chest and for a moment, they stood completely still, confused and disorientated. Then, they all started to move, scuttling over the man’s skin. It was all ordinary insect behavior and yet, as they moved the body underneath them began to twitch. At first, the muscles had briefs spasms as if an electric shock was passing through them. Then, the whole body shook violently, the arms and legs flailing helplessly as the little ladybugs crawled over his skin. It wasn’t long until they noticed what was happening. The ladybugs were eating the man’s skin. It was extraordinary, how fast these ladybugs worked. As they watched, big gaping holes appeared in the body. Muscle tissues appeared under the layers of skin. The ladybugs kept feeding, digging into the flesh. They ate and ate until there was nothing left but ivory white bones.

“Well, I’ll be damned. You were right, Volvus. That really is a most effective weapon.” For a few minutes, they discussed the potential uses of such weapons and their possible disadvantages. All around them, sitting on high wooden selves, bizarre objects watched them. Skulls with grinning mouths, jars filled with unknown substances and magical creatures enclosed in glass boxes.

“Personally, I find the idea of how such beings originated to be much more intriguing. They are no known species of magical creatures. Perhaps they are ladybugs altered with dark spells. Truly fascinating. I shall investigate the matter when I find the time.” Severus stated, watching the ladybugs crawl around the remains of the body. Until now, he had been silent. Absorbed by the new weapons, he had gone unnoticed, but now, familiar faces turned towards him. Some offered him friendly smiles and a few words of greeting. They all knew him. Some of them were old classmates, others he had met more recently but all of them were his friends. They were death eaters, people he shouldn’t care about but how could he not? He was been through hell and back with these people. That can never change, no matter what stood between them now.

“Snape. Where the hell have you been?” Ah, Mulciber. Polite as always. He was glaring at Severus fiercely but that didn’t mean much. He always glared. Students thought Severus was fierce and threatening but one look at Mulciber would have them running for cover. His face was invisible under all the tattoos etched into his skin. A forest of thorns and leaves twisted and twined all over his body, from the tips of his fingers to the very edge of his forehead. And, if you watch closely, you can spot the animals hiding in between the leaves. Snakes, lions, tigers and eagles. Wild animals from all over the world were painted onto his skin and slowly, they moved, creeping over his arms, slithering over his face.

“Rather unfortunately, I was detained.” Severus answered evenly.

“My goodness, Severus. I was beginning to get worried. Four days and not a word. I have sent you a pair letters and they both returned, unopened. What have you been up to?” Lucius asked. He was frowning at Severus, his grey eyes filled with concern. He was watching Severus intently, no doubt taking in his thin appearance and the shadows under his eyes. Despite everything, Severus was glad to see him again. He had missed his frequent visits to Malfoy Manor.

“Believe me, Lucius, I would much rather have corresponded with you but Dumbledore had other plans.” Shia glided up to him and handed him a tall glass filled with a golden liquid. She was a short slim woman and she was always covered from head to toe with a long baggy dress that trailed along the ground. It concealed every inch of her skin, from her neck to the tips of her fingers. Despite her small stature, she was very strong. He had endured the worst and still survived. Her voice was gone but, at the very least, her sanity was intact. Severus couldn’t say the same for the rest of them.

Severus nodded his thanks and took a swallow. Shia was a natural healer, not only of the body but also of the mind. If she gave you something, you had better take it because she never gives anything without a purpose. The moment the liquid touched his lips, he could feel his muscles relax. His mind, tense and aching from the Headmaster’s intrusion began to calm down. Severus could feel the barriers he had erected around his most precious memories retracting. With a soft sigh, he let them crumble and disappear. With these people, he had nothing to fear. Even if they wanted to, not one of them was powerful enough to legilimize him.

“Well, what the fuck did that old bastard do now?” Mulciber asked. Thousands of eyes blinked on his skin as the animals watched Severus intently. Their predator senses were alert, ready to attack.

“He kept me locked up at Healer’s touch. I had no way to communicate with anyone. My wand had been confiscated and the house elves were under strict orders not to let me out.”

“What? Why would he do that?” They were all watched him, listening to his words. Severus could almost sense the anger boiling inside them. None of them had any cause to like Dumbledore. In fact, most of them hated his guts. He had failed each and every single one of them. He was the reason why they were here, hiding in the tunnels with a dark mark etched into their arms. If Dumbledore had been fairer, if he had been just a little less blind to what James Potter and his gang truly were, then how many lives could have been saved?

“He was under the mistaken impression that I cursed his precious Golden Boy.” Severus sneered and tried to put as much venom as he could into the last few words. He didn’t want them to find out what he truly felt about Harry. Not yet, hopefully, not ever. What would they do if they knew the truth? Severus couldn’t be sure. He did not think that he was in any immediate danger from these people but… James Potter had a strange, unpredictable effect on all of them. Who knows what they could be capable of where his son is concerned?

“Did something happen to the brat?” A man with a thick red mane of hair asked eagerly. His eyes glistened brightly as he waited to hear the bad news. Severus cast a quick glance around him. All their eyes gleamed with triumph, even silent Shia’s. They wanted him to get hurt. They wanted to hear that Harry was scared and hurt and miserable. Perhaps, they were even imagining it in their own minds right now, the very worst. An unpleasant shiver went down his spine. He had been like that too. Only a month ago, he would’ve felt completely satisfied to hear this news.

“Yes, someone has caused him to lose his sight. He is now groping along the corridors, completely blind.” Someone laughed. A woman. Her high pitched voice filled the room. It sounded strange and unnatural. Laughter did not belong in these tunnels. Everyone in the group was grinning, everyone except Mulciber who was still openly glaring at everything around him. But even he was glad. You could tell his mood by the animals on his skin. They began to run excitedly around his body, howling with triumph.

“So, the mini Potter is blind, is he?” Dalvius asked. Up until now, he hadn’t spoken a word. “Merlin, that’s delicious. Do you think it’s true, what they say of the dead? Do you think they watch us from beyond the veil. Christ, I hope it’s true. I hope Potter can see, wherever he is. I hope he’ll know what it’s like to watch your flesh and blood suffer.” He smiled and licked his lips. Dalvius was different from the rest of them. He still retained an outward appearance of charm and carefree innocence. He was Severus’s same age but while Severus looked older, Dalvius looked years younger. Little dimples appeared on his cheeks when he smiled. It’s hard to tell just by looking at him, how much anger and bitterness he concealed.

“Tell me, did he suffer? Did Potter cry out in pain when the curse overtook him?” Severus gulped. He fought to keep his expression neutral. He didn’t like that idea, he didn’t like it at all. Little Harry suffering? No, he didn’t want that, not anymore. Dalvius was watching him eagerly, hanging onto his every word.

“I wouldn’t know. He didn’t inform me of any pain, only of a weakness of the body.” Severus stated as calmly as he could,

“Pity.” Dalvius sighed, disappointed at the lack of gruesome details.

“Yes, it is a pity. It is a pity that this happened at all. I would very much like to know who cast such a spell. It occurred under my very nose and I could do nothing to stop it!” Snape hissed coldly. The anger in his voice was not feigned at all. He was getting tired of this. He wanted to go back to the poor child. He needed Severus, he wanted Severus. Merlin only knows why but it is the truth. He should get back to him as soon as possible. Harry will get cured and then, Severus will take him to Alton Towers and so many other places. Harry was not James. He was a good person, someone who deserved happiness.

“Why are you so angry about this Severus? What is it to you if the brat is blind?” Lucius asked mildly.

“It wouldn’t mean a thing if Dumbledore hasn’t accused me of doing the deed. He insisted on my guilt. He even attempted to use legilimency to extract a confession out of me. Naturally he failed.”

“He legilimeced you, for how long?”

“Long enough. In the end, I was left completely exhausted. And that is not the worst part. If by the end of the week, I still haven’t found the culprit, Dumbledore will force me to take the Visionara Potion.” Voices of surprise and outrage burst out from all around the room. “He can’t do that.” “That filthy bastard!” They exclaimed, indignant that Dumbledore could treat one of their own like that. They all knew of how badly the Visionara Potion had affected Severus the last time.

“So you see the problematic situation this places me in.” Severus hissed angrily before taking another sip of the golden liquid in his hands.

“You know, there is a solution.” Dalvius was speaking again. He wasn’t looking at Severus. His eyes were still focused on the ladybugs. “A simple one. This old man could be… taken out of the picture. It will be hard but not impossible. All of us against one of him. The numbers are on our side.”

“That’s too risky, Dalvius, you know that. He has protection spells surrounding him, not to mention the Order of the Phoenix members who are at his beck and call all hours of the day.” Severus stated quickly. This conversation was getting out of control. Maybe, just maybe what they said could be possible. Dumbledore was powerful but he still remained one man. If all of them banded together and went after him, he will find it very hard to escape. No, that is not good. Severus must prevent that from happening.

“You are the stupidest person I’ve ever met, Snape.” Mulciber glared. A scorpion scuttled over his cheek. The tip of its tail swayed as it moved. “The only reason you don’t want us to attack him is because you’re fond of the old bastard.”

“Wherever did you come up with such a ridiculous notion, Mulciber? What would I care if the old man is eliminated? It is only the possibility of failing that matters to me.” Severus stated coolly, looking right at his red rimmed eyes. The scorpion was moving between his eyes now. It scuttled over the bridge of his nose. “The Order of the Phoenix grows ever stronger and the Headmaster has the means of communicating instantaneously with them. If you move against him, failure is guaranteed. It will be a suicide mission so forgive me if I want no part of it.” Finally, Aryna was returning. Severus could see her round body slithering over the stone floor. She was moving towards him hurriedly. People moved out of the way as she came by. They all believed she was highly poisonous and Severus did nothing to tamper this belief. As every Slytherin knows, fear is a useful tool.

“I understand that Severus but all the same, I could never feel safe until they’re both dead and buried. Him and that Golden brat. I have a boy starting Hogwarts next year. I don’t like the idea of him being there with Potter so close.” The red haired man bellowed with his loud voice. His whiskeys were damp with vine and the liquid drippled down his chin.

“Aye, that kid is dangerous.” Another skinny man at the back of the group agreed. Severus kept his mask solidly on. This talk disquieted him. They had talked about killing Potter’s son many times before but it didn’t lead to anything. This was routine, nothing would come of it. Severus told himself firmly. There was no use worrying and he couldn’t risk speaking in the boy’s defense now. He had already stopped them from plotting against Dumbledore. Suspicions might start inside their keen minds. Slytherins were a particularly hard bunch to fool.

“The brat is still eleven years old.” A young boy hiding in the back interrupted quickly. “Let us at least wait until he becomes an adult before making any plans to kill him."

“Why the hell should we do that? Small and vulnerable is easier to kill.” Mulciber growled.

“But… but… we can’t kill a boy! No matter whose son it is.”

“Of course not. We let him live and grow up and carry on his father’s legacy. The Potters have controlled Normengard for generations. When this boy comes of age he will inherit the “family business” and then, what can we do? History will repeat itself and all our efforts will have been in vain. We have killed, we have tortured, we have done everything in our power to destroy Normengard and everyone who was ever involved with it. All this will have been for nothing if the boy survives and reunites the Purifiers. He is their natural leader. As long as he’s alive, we are all in grave danger. He needs to be eliminated.”

“But what about the Dark Lord? He gave us specific instructions to not permanently harm the brat. He wants to kill the Boy-Who-Lived himself.”

“Screw the Dark Lord! He is a pathetic weakling with a borrowed body. There’s no need to be scared of him, not anymore. Him and his bloody obsession with muggleborns. Who cares about them? Its Potter and the surviving Purifiers we have to catch. They’re the real danger.” They were all nodding solemnly. There was truth to these words. Severus knew that perfectly well. Eliminating the Purifiers was a perfect idea but Harry was no Purifier, at least not yet. He was just a boy who doted on his father because he didn’t know the full truth. To him, James Potter was the embodiment of all that was good and pure. A gross misinterpretation. Harry will grow up never knowing the dark legacy of his father, untainted by his twisted ideals and methods. Harry is good. How can Severus doubt that? He didn’t deserve to die. Maybe if James Potter was alive and ready to poison Harry’s mind then Severus too would be worried that the boy would step into his father’s shoes. The danger he posed was too excessive but thankfully, Potter Senior was dead and buried. He was reduced to nothing but dirt and bones, no longer a threat to anyone. He was no longer here to pass his ideals onto his son. Thankfully, no magic, however powerful, can raise the dead. But how can Severus make these people see that? How can he make them understand?

“Since he’s living out there with Severus, getting him killed won’t be too hard. Just slipping some poison into his food should do the trick,” said the red haired man. He brought his enormous dwarf beer mug to his lips. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed loudly.

“No, you pigheaded idiot. What the fuck do you think would happen to Snape if the brat gets poisoned in his own home?” Mulciber glared. A wolf resting on his throat bared its fangs at the man and growled ferociously. Aryna had arrived at Severus’s feet. She slowly slithered up his robes and coiled over his arm. Her red tongue flicked in and out of her mouth rhythmically. Severus nodded his head at her. He couldn’t speak to her, not here. Not many people knew that he was a parcelmouth. That was dangerous information. It gave an indication of the true extent of his abilities. It was a gift that Salazar Slytherin bestowed only on a chosen few, those he considered worthiest of the gift. Unfortunately, he made a terrible misjudgment when he gave the gift to young and charismatic Tom Riddle.

“Guessssss what I saw hiding in the old ssstoreroom?” She hissed into his ear. Not now, Aryna. Severus thought silently. He had to concentrate on this conversation. He needed to know how to protect the child from their plans. He patted her scaled head once before pushing it gently away from his ear.

“Well, maybe we could kidnap him at Diagon Alley and be done with it. Surely, no one is constantly watching his back twenty four seven. We can get a deadly hex in somehow.”

“Hey! How dare you push me away? Here I was trying to give you some ussseful information and you disssmis me.” Aryna hissed angrily. She opened her mouth and her fangs shone, long and dangerous. One bite on his throat and he would be dead. But Severus was more annoyed than worried right now. This was no time to be fighting with his snake. He couldn’t afford any distractions.

“Ah but you seem to be forgetting the protection spells cast on the boy by the headmaster and by his devoted followers.” Severus reasoned coolly. His voice was mild and unconcerned. He tried his best to ignore the angry snake around his throat. Several of them were giving him worried glances. The angry snake might not affect him but it certainly did affect the other death eaters. They watched her fangs with widened eyes.

“Severus! You ssssily fool. Lisssten to me. There is someone watching you.” Well, of course there are people watching him! He’s in a crowded room. Now would you please just let me concentrate. Harry’s life hangs in the balance here. Severus fervently wished that he could just hiss at her to go away but he couldn’t, not here, not in front of all these people.

“Well, can’t you find out exactly what kind of protection spells he has on him. Maybe we can find a way to bypass them.” Volvus asked.

“That girl. The one with hair like a messsy bird’s nest. Sssshe is here, she is watching.” Severus started and focused his attention entirely on Aryna. What was she talking about? Her description sounded like Miss Granger but that can’t be right. How can she be here? Surely, the protection spells would have blocked her by now. Severus arched an eyebrow at her in silent indication for her to continue.

“Sssshe is hiding in the closet right behind you. Sssshe’s wearing that cloak but I can see her. Sily humans cannot fool me.” The invisibility cloak? Only Harry and his friends have access to that cloak. Then Miss Granger is really here, in the middle of a roomful of angry death eater. What can the idiot girl be thinking? Uh! Stubborn Gryffindors and their unhealthy persistence! What happened to her sense of self-preservation? Severus cast a quick glance at the small door to his left. It was open but only slightly, certainly not enough to be noticed. Someone was definitely there. Silly child! What can she be thinking? Severus always thought that Miss Granger, out of all those hotheaded Gryffindors, at least had some sense to her. She was intelligent and cautious but apparently she was not bright enough to stay out of affairs that are too great for her. What can Severus do?

The plans for killing the child were proceeding rapidly. He has to stay here and listen and do his very best to persuade them against it. He cannot leave now and yet, how can he let Miss Granger stay there unprotected? At any moment now, Alecto Carrow will be making an appearing. He was the man who currently hosted the Dark Lord’s spirit and he had Nagini at his heels. If Miss Granger remained here for long she would surely be caught and then, it didn’t take a lot of imagination to guess what will happen. No, she must be saved.

“What about we kidnap him straight from Hogwarts? We can ask Crabbe and Goyle to abduct him when he goes too near the dungeons.” Severus had only one choice. He cannot go himself but he could ask someone else to take her away. But could Severus trust him? Would he really protect the girl if Severus asked him to? He was a good friend, surely he would do it. But risking Miss Granger’s life like this is not a good choice.

“But then, how will Crabbe and Goyle get the brat out of Hogwarts.” Severus will have to risk it. There is no other way. Casually he leaned towards Lucius and whispered the truth into his ear. The man’s grey eyes widened with shock and immediately, his eyes snapped to the closet where he too noticed the open door. He grinned with closed lips and shook his head. His white blond hair swayed back and forth lightly. The snake head on his cane gleamed in the firelight, its green eyes watching Severus. Lucius looked at Severus and gave a small nod. A smile was dancing at the corner of his lips as he excused himself and with a few parting words, walked away.

-------- HG --------

It worried her how calmly these people were plotting Harry’s murder. The grim figures standing in front of her were putting forward idea after idea, each one more subtle and surprising than the next. From inside the storeroom, Hermione watched them closely. It was the tattooed man who was talking now, his loud gruff voice rising above the rest. Surprisingly, he was the one who shot down most of their ideas. Out of them all, he looked the cruelest. He was tall and muscular, the muscles in his jaws twitched as he spoke.

Professor Snape fitted right into this grim gathering. He was one of them with his cold voice and the black snake curled around his neck. He was listening intently to the discussion, sipping his vine and coolly offering the occasional casual comment. He didn’t seem the least bit affected by the fact that his ward’s murder was being planned. In fact, with his lips quirked upwards, he looked like he found the entire thing completely amusing. If Snape really was working for the death eaters, then considering what Hermione was hearing, Harry was in even greater danger than she had originally feared.

Hermione watched those tiny creatures scuttle around on the white tabletop. They looked so harmless but Hermione had seen with her very eyes what they could do. She had seen them eat through human flesh and consume an entire body. They were a powerful weapon, especially considering that nobody would ever suspect them. They looked like ladybugs. Who would ever think of guarding themselves against ladybugs? Hermione adored magic but as she watched those creatures creep onto the body and bite into the dead man’s eyes, she was acutely aware of its dangers and limitations. With magic there were so many unknowns and unexpected variables. How can someone defend themselves against something they don’t understand. Hermione has read hundreds of books about the magical world but there was still so much she didn’t know. These weapons, for example. She wasn’t even aware that there were branches of magic other than potions that did not involve a wand.


The more she saw today, the more she understood that there are still so many unknowns out there, potential dangers that could eliminate them so quickly that they won’t even have time to realize what was happening. These creatures on the table, for example, what were they? Bizarre magical creatures? Ladybugs that have been enhanced with spells? Genetic mutations? Were there even such things as genetic mutations in the wizard world? Hermione wished she could get her hands on one of those creatures. Their habits were fascinating. Possibly, she could try and determine how they were altered. This underground tunnel was so… different. Hermione has never seen anything like it.

She wondered whether she could come down here another time and explore the various rooms. She had seen rooms with medieval weapons such as arrows, swords and lances. Did wizards still use such weapons? If so, then they cannot be ordinary. They must have been enhanced by magic. Maybe they could become invisible or they could cut through protection shields. There was so much to learn! Hermione wondered why Harry was not learning about these things. If these people were coming after him then he must know how to defend himself against their weapons.

The death eaters were starting to argue loudly. Some of them were completely against the idea of eliminating a child but the majority of them were eager for blood. Professor Snape remained carefully neutral. Supporting one side of the argument and then the other. Well, that made sense if he was trying to avert their suspicions. Of course, if he…

A hand came out of nowhere and suddenly clamped over her mouth. Hermione let out a muffled gasp. Someone was standing behind her, holding her body against his with a firm grip. She tried to reach for her wand but another hand came out and yanked it out of her pocket. No! No! She’s done for! A death eater has caught her. They’re going to kill her! They’re going to feed her to those creatures, letting her flesh be eaten alive. Hermione struggled with all her strength. She wriggled in the man’s tight grasp. A hand had clamped over her wrist. She tried to yank it free but she couldn’t. His grip was strong. He was so much bigger than her, he was an adult while she was just a child. She stood no chance, not without a wand. She tugged at her hand again. She needed to get her wand back! Dimly, she was aware that the man was chuckling softly, laughing at her efforts. He twisted her hand behind her back. Damn, that hurt. Hermione felt that her bones would snap but she didn’t stop struggling. She couldn’t. She had to fight. He will kill her!

Hermione didn’t hear the spell being cast. One moment, she was struggling against the strange man, her body twisting in all directions, the next she stood completely frozen. Her body refused to obey her. Her arms didn’t move, her knees were bent slightly but they wouldn’t straighten. She couldn’t even blink. She was immobilized. She was trapped. She was completely trapped in a death eater’s den. What had she gotten herself into?

“You’re a little she devil, aren’t you?” A deep voice whispered into her ear. The man had leaned forwards so that his face was inches away from her ear. She could feel his breath on her skin. A curtain of white blond hair hung from his head and fell over her right shoulder. It was Malfoy! Hermione held her breathe. What was going to happen? What was he going to do with her?

“Well, well, what is a little bird doing in the snake pit?” He whispered so quietly that Hermione was barely able to hear him. She tried to struggle again but it felt as if her body no longer belonged to her.

“A fragile thing like you shouldn’t come near such dangerous places. You might just get your pretty head chopped off.” The curtain of hair swung back and forth lightly, ticking her skin. From outside, Hermione heard the raised voices of the death eaters as they continued to argue. Professor Snape was hissing angrily. If only Hermione could contact him in some way. Then, if he truly worked for the light, he would save her.

“Your name is Miss Granger, isn’t it? Yes, my son has told me all about you. Maybe I should call you Miss Know-it-all instead. He said that you were quite intelligent. Well, at least for a muggle born.” He was enjoying himself. Hermione could hear the laughter in his voice. He would watch her suffer and laugh about it. The soulless bastard! Hermione’s eyes blazed with anger. If only she had a wand. She had learned a few good hexes over the summer. She could wipe that ridiculous smirk right off his face! “But it seems that you are not so intelligent after all. Sneaking in here was a bad choice but fortunately for you, matters are about to change.” Malfoy gripped her forearm tightly. There was a barely audible pop and they suddenly vanished. All that was left of them was a thin swirl of black smoke that quickly dispersed into the air.