Severus Snape experienced the welcoming feast as if lived inside a crystal ball, hazy and with extreme clarity at the same time. Not one detail escaped him and some of them were magnified with terrifying significance. Firstly, the three screamingly empty seats at the Gryffindor table. Secondly, the painful sight of Minerva McGonagall carefully putting her fork and knife down on her plate with trembling hands, as Alecto Carrow, Amycus Carrow’s sister, detailed her plans for the Muggle studies subject, at the teacher’s table of honour. Snape’s heightened awareness told him that his elderly colleague was near breaking point. And finally, the appalling sight of a half-grown adolescent's body in excruciating pain. The images etched into Snape’s brain like burning flames and yet they did not once elicit a response in his inscrutable face. 

One might think that Severus Snape had dosed himself with some or other of his own potions, but that was not the case. Snape was surprisingly reluctant to use potions on himself. He preferred the state of his mind, body and magic as innate and unaltered by external influences as possible. His present state of extreme perceptibility and extreme numbness, at the same time, was instead the result of the merciless usage of Occlumency. At this particular moment, it was not about preventing the invasion of another mind, but about checking his own emotions. And this night he was particularly brutal towards himself. He approached the fine line between self-control and self-disintegration. Occlumency as hardly applied as this, was susceptible to shut down your vital functions if pushed only slightly too much. 

Snape, naturally, was used to the practice of concealing his emotions during endless meetings with the Dark Lord. His Occlumency skills were extremely well developed. Although, he found that here, on the familiar grounds of Hogwarts, where his new position placed him at the centre of attention, it was infinitely more difficult to subdue the swirling sensations deep inside him. Thence the ruthless treatment of himself. He had not come this far, not made such sacrifices, only to be overthrown at this moment by his own weakness.

When Snape turned to lead the way up to the headmaster’s office, followed by Amycus Carrow, Occlumency and Legilimency merged for a second in his mind and the overwhelming impact of the thoughts of hundreds of people hit Snape’s brain: ”Death Eaters. Murderers,” they said. The pupils and his colleagues alike: ”Death Eaters. Murderers.” Minerva McGonagall: ”Death Eater. Traitor. Butcher. Murderer.” The words echoed in his head and threatened for a moment to black him out, before Occlumency gained control over Legilimency again. 

Yes, Death Eaters and murderers, he and Amycus Carrow alike, that was the part he played, after all. That was his goal. Why should the words plague him? 

Snape steeled himself further and made a gesture for Alecto Carrow and Minerva McGonagall to follow.