It had been a long and dreary summer. The fiasco at the Ministry was still fresh in Harry's mind. Harry heard the entire prophecy and learned that he would have to die before the war was over. But what hurt more than anything was that Sirius was dead. The whole point of going to the Ministry was to save him and that turned out to be a trick. Not a trick, but a trap. And Harry fell for it.

Once Harry got back to Privet Drive, he started blaming everybody for Sirius' death. For a while he blamed Dumbledore. He wouldn't speak to Harry. He kept Sirius locked up in that house.

Then he blamed Snape. He didn't listen to Harry's warning. He just walked out of Umbridge's office. Then he stopped teaching him Occlumency, but that wasn't totally all Snape's fault, since Harry was the one that snooped into Snape's private things. If he was being honest with himself, Harry would probably feel the same way if someone went through his belongings. So he couldn't really blame Snape.

Then the last one he wanted to blame, even though it seemed irrational, was Hermione. She begged him to listen that it might be a trap. That Voldemort only put that vision in his head so that he would come running. Turned out that she was right. Again, he launched forward into something that he knew nothing about and it cost him more that he was willing to pay.

It was now two weeks before school was to start and Harry, deciding to get away from his relatives, called the Knight Bus and went to the Leaky Cauldron. After procuring a room from Tom, the bartender, Harry went out to Diagon Alley.

After getting a somewhat restless night's sleep and having breakfast at the pub, Harry went out to the alley and headed for Gringotts. Once he got to the bank, he was met by Griphook.

“Mr. Potter,” Griphook snarled. “Now that you are sixteen, you will be taken to your family's vault.

Harry had a look of bewilderment on his face. His family's vault? Then whose vault had he been getting his money from? These questions rattled in his mind, but he didn't voice them just yet. He just followed the goblin to the moving carts.

“If we're headed towards my family's vault, then whose vault have I been taken money from?” Harry asked once he sat down and couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer.

“That was a trust that your grandparents started when you were born. It was left with explicit instructions that it be used for your schooling.”

Harry had no response to that, so he just nodded.

They traveled for some time before the cart stopped. Once it did, and Harry and Griphook got out, they walked over to the only door in the whole hallway. Griphook opened the door and stepped aside. Harry, very slowly, walked in and the room lit instantly.

To say that Harry was surprised would be an understatement. Harry couldn't believe what he was seeing. He remembered the shocked look on his face when he first saw all the gold that was in the other vault when he first came to the Magical world. But this was completely different. There were books everywhere. Furniture and boxes were stacked neatly in a corner. Gold was scattered in small bundles around the enormous room.

Very slowly, Harry walked around the room. Looking at the photos that laid against the furniture, Harry saw what looked to be his grandparents. There was even a picture of his dad with Sirius, Remus and, picking up the photo and bringing it closer to his eyes, he saw what looked like Snape. But that couldn't be true. Harry remembered how Snape felt about his dad and Sirius, so for him to be in a photo with them voluntarily seemed impossible. Putting the photo aside for the moment, something caught Harry's eyes. There was a letter. Thinking that it was probably a letter from his mom to his dad or vice versa, Harry picked it up and started reading it.

Severus,

I know I am the last person in the world you expect to hear from and I would have to agree with you, but I had to write this letter. Lily wanted me to write this letter to you asking for your forgiveness. I know we've done some horrible things to you during our time at school, but you gave as good as you got. Sorry. Listen, I am sorry for how we've, no, I behaved. I know it doesn't mean much to you, but I just wanted you to know.

Lily keeps pressuring me to write this letter and she is currently downstairs fixing dinner as I write this. She threatened that if I didn't write this, she would put something in my food that only you would be able to cure. So basically the choices she gave me were I tell you everything in writing, or I come see you face to face begging for the antidote. As you can see, I don't want her wrath upon me, so I'm writing.

Boy, if Sirius could see this now, he would think that I'm completely whipped.

Seriously, I am sorry for my actions towards you while we were in school.

Know that I wasn't against what Lily did. She still thinks about you. She was happy to see you at the wedding. I know you didn't want to take that picture, but she treasured it.

I know that Lily sought you out after Harry was born. She told me that you held him, but what she didn't tell you is the other reason I'm writing this to you. Like I wrote before, I am not against it. Sirius may be, but I'm not. I agree with Lily, but then again, it was agree or be in pain.

Lily named you Harry's Godfather. She was determined to keep you as her friend, and she wants you in Harry's life.

Once this war is over, she wants you to come over and spend the day with your godson.

Well, that's what I have to say. Since I can't send this by owl, you won't be able to respond. When we can come out of hiding, I will be expecting your response.

Again, forgive me.

James.

Harry re-read the letter twice. His hand was involuntary gripping the parchment until it was crinkling at the corner.

Harry's Godfather.

Those two words just stuck out most of all from that letter. Severus Snape was his godfather. Looking back down at the table, Harry saw an envelope and noticed that the writing was the same as the letter. His dad had written an address on there. Harry looked at the address and figured, why not? What had he to loose? What would be the worse that could happen?

Harry folded the letter and placed it in the envelope. It magically sealed. He placed it in his pocket and continued on looking through out the vault. After some time, Harry walked out of the vault, and he and Griphook headed back up to the main lobby. Once out of Gringotts, Harry was going to do his shopping for school, but he changed his mind and headed back to the Leaky Cauldron. Without speaking to anyone, Harry headed straight for Muggle London. The address on the envelope that was still in his pocket wasn't that far from there.

Harry began his trek. It was thirty minutes before Harry reached his destination. He pulled out the envelope again and looked at the address. Finding the street, Harry walked until he got to the numbers that matched the envelope.

Harry's heart was pounding in his chest. Not from the walk, but the anticipation of the reaction he would most likely receive from the occupant of the house. While he was at the bank, he was determined to deliver the letter, but now standing in front of the door, Harry was every bit as nervous. He swallowed, squared his shoulders, and walked up to the door.

Harry was just about to knock when he heard from behind him, “Whatever you're trying to peddle, you are wasting your time. Get away from my porch.”

The voice came from behind him, but Harry instantly recognized the silky baritone voice of his Potions Professor. Lowering his arm, Harry took a deep breath and turned to face his Professor.

“Potter,” Severus snarled. “What are you doing here?”

“I-I,” Harry stammered. His voice just wasn't working now.

“Eloquent as always,” Severus sneered. “Why are you here? How did you find me?”

Harry, realizing that he wasn't going to talk, reached inside his pocket and pulled out the letter and held it out.

“What is this?” Severus asked, snatching the letter from Harry. Looking down at the envelope, Severus recognized the handwriting and looked back up at the boy standing in front of him. “Where did you get this?”

“It was in my family's vault,” Harry said, finally finding his voice.

Severus did not say another word. He just pushed passed Harry and walked into his house, slamming the door behind him. Harry stood at the porch for a second and without a second glance at the door behind him, he walked off.

Severus stood at the door, looking down at the letter in his hand. He was truly debating throwing the envelope in the fireplace, but something was nagging at him to open it.

___0000____0000____0000___000

It had been a week since Harry gave Severus the letter. He didn't expect to see the Potions Master again until school started, but that changed. Harry was sitting in the pub, eating his supper, when someone walked up and sat down across from him. Harry looked up at the person. His fork stopping midway towards his mouth.

Severus wasn't expecting to run into Potter, but he needed to go to Diagon Alley for some supplies and when he walked in the Leaky Cauldron he spotted the messy-haired boy sitting in the corner, alone. Walking over to the boy, Severus sat down across from him.

“Aren't you supposed to be with your relatives?” Severus drawled.

Harry swallowed the food that he had in his mouth and lowered the fork.

“I haven't been with them for two weeks now.”

Severus raised he eyebrow.

“Is there a reason behind you running away?”

“I just couldn't stay there anymore.” Harry said more now than he did when he was standing at the Professor's front step. “It's not like anyone noticed. Or even cared.” That last part was said a lot lower, but Severus heard it just the same.

Instead of responding to what Harry said, Severus pulled out the envelope and placed it on the table. Harry looked at the envelope and noticed that it was not opened. He couldn't help his shoulders sagging a little.
“This letter is from your father,” Severus stated.

“Yes, sir.”

“I will ask you again, where did you get it from?”

Harry looked at Snape. “I told you. My family's vault. When I got here, I went to Gringotts to pull some money out so that I could get my books for the school year. I was told that I had a vault that I could now access since I was sixteen. I found the letter there.”

“And did you read its contents?”

Harry put his head back down.

“Yes, sir,” Harry mumbled.

“What does it say?”

“Open it, and read it,” Harry said with more courage than he let on.

“I will not open anything that James Potter wrote,” Severus said with finality. “There is no telling what cruelty is on that letter.”

“My dad didn't seal it,” Harry all but screamed, causing a few people to turn their way. Severus raised his eyebrow at the boy. “I did.” Harry's voice was much calmer, now. “That's how I knew where to go.”

“What does it say?” Severus asked again.

Harry sighed, looking at the envelope on the table, untouched.

“You're my godfather,” Harry mumbled with his head lowered.

“I beg your pardon?” Severus said.

Harry raised his head and looked at the man sitting across from him and said, “You are my godfather. Mum insisted.”

Severus' brow furrowed together and then quickly reached for the letter. Finally opening it, Severus quickly read the letter. He couldn't believe what he was reading. There was little that could shock Severus speechless, but this was on that level. Hell must have completely frozen over, because there was no way James Potter would ever ask for forgiveness. Not from Severus Snape. But there it was. Just as plain as the nose on his face. James Potter asked for forgiveness.

The other thing that shocked Severus was that Potter was right. He was named godfather to Potter. Severus looked up at the boy sitting across from him. Harry had his head down, his food long since forgotten. Harry's shoulders sagged. Severus could see how tense the child was by the way he was sitting, as if he was expecting an angry tirade from him.

“Not a word about this, Potter,” Severus growled as he stood up from the table.

Harry looked up and watched his Potions Professor walk out of the pub, his robe billowing behind him. Harry looked back at the opened envelope on the table and a small smile graced his lips.

“Well,” Harry whispered to himself. “At least he read it.”

Harry picked up his fork and continued eating with a lighter feeling on his chest.

School started. Harry was so happy to be back home, where everything made sense. After his first year he stopped thinking that his relatives were his home and believed that Hogwarts was. Hogwarts was where he could be himself. Hogwarts was where he didn’t have to hide who he was.

Though the last three weeks of summer weren’t that bad. He enjoyed being on his own. He was actually able to do his summer homework. He got his shopping done. And just relaxed and not worry about anything. He met up with Ron and Hermione on their way to the train.

“Harry,” Hermione called out.

“Hey ya, Harry,” Ron said, when Harry got closer to them.

“Hey,” Harry said. “How were your summers?”

“It was good,” Hermione said, giving Harry a hug.

“We didn’t do anything noteworthy,” Ron sighed as they climbed the stairs on the train.

“What have you been doing?” Hermione asked as she walked down the small corridor looking for an empty compartment.

“I’ve been okay,” Harry said, opening the sliding door. “Here,” Harry called out, stopping Hermione. “I left my relative’s house.”

“You did?” Hermione gasped.

“Why?” Ron asked. “I mean I can understand why, but why now?” Ron closed the door to their compartment so that no one else could overhear.

“I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Harry said.

“Well, where have you been staying?” Hermione said, pulling Crookshanks on her lap.

“I got a room at the Leaky Cauldron,” Harry said. “I was only there for three weeks.”

“Why didn’t you come stay with us?” Ron asked, sitting next to Hermione. “You know Mum would have took you in.”

“I know,” Harry said. “But I just wanted to be alone for a bit. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I just couldn’t be around anyone. With everything that happened last year, losing Sirius, being possessed by Voldemort, I needed to be alone with my own thoughts. To really think things through.”

“I can understand that,” Hermione said.

The rest of the ride to Hogwarts was quiet between the trio. They talk sporadically to each other but mostly they just enjoyed the ride. When the train got to the stop, everyone started piling out of the train. First years went with Hagrid while the older years took the horseless carriages.

“Harry, where are you going?” Hermione asked when she saw Harry turn and walk back to the train.

“I forgot something,” Harry called back. “I’ll catch up with you. Go ahead.”

Harry walked back onto the train. He knew he had a few more minutes before the train left for London since there were still a few students on the train. He walked into the compartment where he, Hermione and Ron just left and heard voices coming from the neighboring compartment.

“Are you ready to do this?”

“I told you I could handle this. Leave me alone.”

“You know you only have until the end of the year to accomplish what you have to do.”

“I know. Stop pestering me.”

“Just make sure you get it done. I don’t want to have to tell him you failed.”

“I won’t. Now can we go.”

Harry stayed quiet during that entire exchange. Because the voices were muffled he couldn’t recognize the voices, but he knew that it was three people talking. Whatever they were planning, he just hoped that it wasn’t something bad.

Harry grabbed the small satchel that he left behind and walked out of the compartment, running into Draco, Theodore, and Pansy.

“What are you doing here, Potter? Draco asked.

“Minding my business. What are you doing?” Harry retorted.

Draco stepped up in Harry’s face.

“Don’t get snarky with me,” Draco growled. “Or you’ll end up just like your precious godfather. Where is your godfather? Oh yeah, I forgot.”

Pansy and Theodore laughed at what Draco said.

“Whatever you’re planning, you won’t succeed,” Harry said.

“Who says I’m planning anything?” Draco said, stepping back. “Let’s go.”

Draco stepped pass Harry bumping his shoulder against the smaller boy. Pansy and Theodore followed.

Harry tried to calm his temper. The last thing he wanted was to start the school year off being in trouble. Oh, he wanted to hex Draco’s tongue out of his mouth for talking about Sirius. Harry still wasn’t over grieving over the death of Sirius. It still stung that he was the reason Sirius was dead. If he hadn’t slacked off in Occlumency, if he had listened to Hermione, if only if only.

Harry knew he needed to get off the train, so he put his satchel on his shoulder and got off. There was one more carriage. Harry looked at the thestrals at the front of the carriage. He rubbed his hand down the side of the animal and then got on. The ride to the castle was a stressful one. He couldn’t stand this feeling. It was the reason he left his relatives in the first place. Harry lifted his head and took a deep breath. He tried to get himself to calm down. He would be strong. He would show that he wasn’t weak. But oh, did he miss his godfather.

When Harry got off the carriage, he was met by another he didn’t feel like hearing another bash against him. Snape was standing at the entrance to the castle.

“Wanting to make a grand entrance, Potter?” Severus drawled. “Why are you just coming in now?”

“I forgot something on the train,” Harry said.

“You will show me some respect,” Severus growled.

“I’m sorry, godfather,” Harry sneered.

Severus stepped closer to Harry. Harry had to look up to see Severus’ livid face. Severus grabbed Harry shirt.

“I told you not to mention that again,” Severus growled. His voice was low so only Harry would hear.

“Why,” Harry asked, coolly. “You asked for respect; I’m giving it to you.”

Severus opened his mouth to let loose a blistering retort, but quickly shut it.

“Who have you told?” Severus said, letting Harry shirt go.

“What? No one.”

“You better not be lying to me, Potter.”

“Believe what you want,” Harry said. The fight was out of Harry’s voice. “You asked me not to say anything. I didn’t say anything. You want to believe that I don’t exist, then fine. You won’t be the first or the last.”

Severus stepped back from Potter and looked at the boy.

“May I go inside, now?” Harry asked. “Sir.”

Severus looked at Harry for a second before stepping aside and letting the boy pass him.

___000____0000____0000____0000

Harry walked into the Great Hall and sat across from Ron.

“Oh, Harry, you made it,” Hermione said.

“Yeah,” Harry said, reaching out to get him some food. “I got caught up in something.”

“Is everything okay?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” Harry gave Hermione a small smile and then concentrated on the food in front of him.

“Well, one good thing,” Ron said between bites. “Not having Potions, we don’t have to worry about having the Bat of the Dungeons.”

Harry hummed but didn’t reply to Ron’s statement. If it was anytime in the past years, Harry would have agreed and been just as excited as Ron with not having Snape for a teacher.

Professor McGonagall hit the side of her goblet with her knife, signaling to the students for their attention. All four houses stopped talking and looked up at the dais. Professor Dumbledore stood and walked over to the podium.

“Welcome to another year at Hogwarts,” Albus said. “A note to all students, the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students. I would like to introduce a new Professor.”

“Well, here comes the new Defense Professor,” Ron whispered to Harry.

“Professor Slughorn has agreed to come back and take his previous position. He will be taking the Potions position.”

The jaw dropped in every student in the Great Hall. Murmuring started with all the houses. Albus raised his hands to try and silence the students, but it took Minerva tapping on her goblet to get them all quiet.

“Your Defense Professor will be Professor Snape.”

The Slytherin House cheered the loudest. Learning that their Head of House will be their Defense Professor was a great surprise.

“Not having Professor Snape as a teacher this year,” Harry teased, whispering back to Ron.

Ron looked like he was turning green at the news.

The tables cleared of the dinner and the pudding came up. Ron looked at the pudding and quickly pushed his plate away.

“I never thought I would see the day that Ron turned down pudding,” Seamus said, spooning a small amount of pudding on his plate.

“Yeah, he was just so sure that we wouldn’t have Professor Snape this year,” Ginny said. She was sitting across from Seamus and Neville.

It wasn’t the best news to learn that they learned just now, but it was the look on Ronald’s face that had the Gryffindor table laughing.

___0000____000___000___000

It was the middle of the night. Harry couldn’t sleep. He looked over at Ron who was laying in a strange position. Harry was sure Ron would be stiff when he woke up. Harry looked up at the top of the canopy. His chest started to feel tight. He sat up in the bed and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Looking around the room, he saw that all his roommates were still asleep. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. Harry stumbled out of the bed. Frantically he reached for his glasses, hoping he didn’t break them. He fell against his trunk. Pulling out his invisibility cloak, Harry rushed out of the dormitory.

Wrapped in his cloak, Harry rushed up the stone steps to the owlery. When he got to the owlery, he ripped off the cloak. Tears were streaming down Harry face. Leaning over the ledge, he started screaming.

___0000____0000____0000____0000

Severus was looking forward to finally teaching Defense. He was actually getting antsy. He figured a walk around the castle would calm his nerves so that he could get some sleep before the first day.

Normally, he didn’t walk the corridors of the school on the first night. He wasn’t expecting to run into any students. Not so early in the semester. While he was thinking about his first class as Defense, his mind wandered to the letter he still had in his pocket.

After receiving it from Potter, he couldn’t just throw it away. Severus pulled the letter out of his inside pocket and looked down at the writing on the letter. He remembered when he went to Potter’s and Lily’s wedding. He was surprised that he even received an invitation. After the wedding, his shock didn’t stop. Potter had insisted that he be in a picture with the other Marauders.

Severus’ thoughts then went to the younger Potter. He remembered the dejected look on the boy’s face when he first refused to read the letter. It looked like the defeated look the boy had on his face when he got off the carriage.

Severus was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a breeze rush past him. It startled him that he stopped walking. Now that his heels weren’t clinking against the stone floor, he could hear a mild slapping sound.

There was only one person that could possibly get pass him without being seen. He hated that Albus gave Potter that blasted invisibility cloak. Severus followed the sounds until he ended at the bottom of the stairs to the owlery. As he climbed the stairs, he heard a loud wailing.

Severus rushed up the final steps to see Potter leaning out of the opening, screaming at the top of his lungs. The more that Potter screamed; the further he hung out the window. As much as he didn’t really care for the boy, Severus could not leave the child in this bad state.

To not startle the boy, Severus quietly but quickly went to the boy’s side. When he was arm’s length away, Severus reached out and grabbed Potter by the collar of his shirt and pulled him back in the room.

Without thinking or seeing who was there, Harry latched himself to the body that was next to him. Not once did he open his eyes or look up to see who was there. Severus was clueless about what to do. The child had a firm grip on his person, and he was wailing like the whole world was going to end that night. Severus didn’t say a word. He just put his hand on Harry’s head and let the boy cry. Severus could tell that deep-down Potter really needed this. It was a soul-cleansing cry that after everything the boy has been through these past years, Potter really needed this.

TBC

Severus stayed with Harry until the boy calmed down. Not once did Harry lift his head. Harry stayed where he was; leaning on Severus, looking down at the floor. A chill was starting to set in. He was coming alarmingly aware it was cold in the owlery. At first Harry didn’t register nippy air, but now that he’s calmed down some, he can feel it now.

With his head still leaning on the person with him, Harry started shivering. Not wanting to deal with a sick Potter, Severus reluctantly shrugged his cloak from his shoulders and wrapped it around Harry’s shoulders. Severus tried to ignore how slight and bony the boy’s shoulders were.

Severus stepped back and noticed that Harry still had a hold to his clothes. Severus sighed as he reached for the boy’s hands and tried to remove them. The Potions Master heard a small whine as he removed the fingers, but the boy didn’t resist. Once Severus was free, he slightly pushed Harry towards the entrance of the owlery.

“Accio invisibility cloak,” Severus murmured.

It seemed like nothing was moving until Severus felt something soft cling to his hand. The two wizards walked in silence back to the Gryffindor’s common room. When they got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, Severus waved his hand opening the portrait.

“To bed with you, Potter,” Severus sneered or at least tried to.

Harry didn’t react to it.

“Don’t come out of this portrait until breakfast tomorrow,” Snape ordered.

Harry said nothing. He shrugged the cloak from his shoulders reaching it out towards Severus. The boy started to climb in the entrance and mumbled something. It sounded like “thank you,” but Severus couldn’t be sure. Severus stood at the now closed portrait and realized that Potter didn’t take his father’s invisibility cloak.

Realizing that it was late, and he had an early day tomorrow, Severus went down to his chambers. He made it up in his mind that he would talk with the boy tomorrow.

___000___000___000

The next morning, Ron woke up with a small crick in his neck. He stretched his head around in circles and walked over to Harry’s bed to see if he was awake. Noting that the bed was empty, Ron figured that Harry was in the common room.

After taking a shower and getting dressed, Ron went to the common room and saw that Harry was indeed there and was sitting by the fireplace.

“Oi, Harry,” Ron called out.

“‘morning, Ron,” Harry mumbled.

“You okay?” Ron asked, sitting next to his friend.

Harry didn’t reply. He just shrugged.

“Well, come on,” Ron said. “Go get ready. Breakfast is about to be served.”

“Go on ahead,” Harry said. “I’ll be down later.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Harry said. “I’ll see you later.”

Ron looked at his friend for a moment and then got up and walked out of the tower. Harry just sat on the sofa staring at the fire. He sighed and leaned further into the side of the furniture.

Harry thought about his late-night run. Honestly, he didn’t realize anyone was in the corridor when he ran to the owlery. The only thing that was on Harry’s mind at the time was getting to the open. The walls felt like it was closing in on him. The feeling of loss and rejection was weighing heavy on the boy. It felt like he was back in the cupboard under the stairs though it had been years since he was there. The loss of Sirius was just the event that took things over the edge. His relatives’ treatment was angering him to the point that if he didn’t leave, he would be arrested for underage magic. The accusation he got in his second year would not compare what he was feeling now. So, he left before it went from bad to worst.

Harry felt someone pull him from the window, even though he wasn’t going to jump. That small gesture gave him a tiny ounce of hope that someone in the world cared. The hand that stayed on his head was so comforting. It grounded him making the spinning, suffocating world, just that more bearable. When Harry calmed down, he noticed that it wasn’t the best idea to leave the tower without his robe or shoes. He didn’t want to lift his head to see who was there, but if he didn’t leave the tower, he was going to be sorry the next day.

When he felt the warm cloak, Harry knew instantly who was there. He didn’t know what he felt first: embarrassment or sadness or both. Why would it be him being the one that was here? The cloak still had the man’s warmth in it, so it felt good against the cool weather around them.

Harry felt embarrassed holding on the his godf…professor like a little child. But it was the only thing that was grounding him. When he felt him prying his hands off him, Harry didn’t resist.

Harry didn’t want to look at Snape. He didn’t want to see the usual contempt that Snape had on his face every time they saw each other. So kept his head down on their walk back to the Tower. But Harry was surprised that Snape didn’t say anything on the walk back. He even heard the Professor call his invisibility cloak to him. When they got back to the portrait, Harry was just sure that Snape was going to give him an earful, but that as well didn’t happen. He just told him to stay in the tower and not come back out until breakfast. On top of that, it wasn’t even said in the sarcastic tone he usually talks to Harry.

Harry let out a sigh, leaning his head on the back of the chair.

___000___000___000

Severus had a long night. He planned on going to sleep once he got back to his chambers. That was not what happened. He was sitting on his high-back chair looking at the cloak laying on the sofa. There were so many questions that were plaguing his mind. Questions that wouldn’t stop so that he could get to bed.

It was two hours later when he forced himself to go to bed. He still had a full day of teaching students in a different subject.

The next morning, during breakfast, Severus kept to himself. He gave his customary greeting when he sat down, but that was it.

It was a little early so there weren’t many students in the Great Hall. Severus figured he would eat and then get to his class. There were a few things he needed to get together in the office behind the classroom.

When Severus was finished, the doors of the Great Hall opened, and more students walked in. The ones that he noted coming in was two of the Golden Trio. Severus looked down at the table. Why was this boy crowding his thoughts? He was up half the night worried about the boy and now not seeing him with his entourage had him worried. No, not worried, concerned. Severus sighed and got up and left.

___000___000___000

It had been a week since Harry’s run to the owlery. Everyday seemed like a blur to Harry. If he was asked, he would not know what was taught in each class. Hermione kept prompting Harry to pay attention, but her pleas were falling on deaf ears.

Ron and Hermione knew that there was something bothering Harry, but every time they would try to talk to Harry, he would give them either one-word answers or shrug.

Another week later during dinner, Harry sat at the Gryffindor’s table looking at his empty plate. Hermione and Ron gave Harry wary glances. Two-thirds of the trio weren’t the only one looking at Harry. Severus was sitting at the head table watching Harry. As much as Severus wanted to ignore his concerns he had about Harry, looking at the boy let him know it could not be dismissed.

After the Professor in black finished his food, he got up without another word to his colleagues. He went to his chambers calling his personal elf.

“Hows can Misty help?” the house-elf asked when she popped next to Severus.

Severus walked over to his desk and scribbled on a small piece of parchment.

“Give this to Potter.” Severus said, folding the paper and handing it to her.

“Yes, mas’er,” Missy said, bowing. She disappeared seconds later.

Severus walked over to his armchair and sat down. Usually, Severus would have a nightcap, but he waited for his visitor.  

A knock on the Potion Master’s door brought Severus out of his musing.

“Enter.”

The door opened revealing The Boy Who Lived.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Harry said, standing in the doorway.

“Don’t stand in the doorway,” Severus said. “Come sit.”

Harry slowly walked into the sitting room. Severus held out his hand gesturing where Harry was to sit. Harry walked over to the sofa adjacent to the armchair.

For a long moment it was quiet in the room. The only sounds coming from the fireplace.

“Potter,” Severus said, breaking the silence. “Can you tell me what is going on with you?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath.

“A verbal response would be nice,” Severus said.

Harry looked at the professor. It surprised him that there wasn’t contempt in his voice.

“It’s nothing,” Harry said, softly.

“Look at me, Potter,” Severus said.

Harry lifted his head and saw that Severus was looking at him intently. Harry recoiled a little.

“When we saw each other in Diagon Alley,” Severus said, “you had a full plate of food. Now, you barely eat enough to feed a sparrow. You’re already too small. You cannot keep missing meals.”

Anger started to bubble up in Harry’s stomach. Once again, Harry felt like the walls were closing in on him. He couldn’t breathe. He was hurt. He was angry.

How dare he? Harry fumed.

“Why do your care?” Harry yelled.

There was a low rumble in the room. Severus looked around and saw that his possessions were vibrating. Looking at the boy on the sofa, Severus could see Harry’s magic pooling around him.

Severus pulled his wand out and shouted a spell. Water shot out of the end of his wand landing on Harry.

Harry, shocked at what happened, looked at Snape. The anger he was feeling instantly stopped. Everything looked distorted. Harry removed his glasses. He looked down at himself. He was completely drenched.

“Are you calm now?” Severus asked.

Harry could feel his throat burn with tears. He was tired of crying. Everything was just too much.

Severus waved his wand again, causing Harry’s clothes, sofa, and floor to dry instantly. He also cast a warming charm on Harry so that he wouldn’t get sick. The dungeon was usually colder than the rest of the castle.

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Severus cut him off.

“I want you to calm down first. Whatever it is can wait until you have yourself together.”

Harry put his now dry glasses on his face and looked at his professor as if he had two heads. The entire time Harry had been here, not once did Snape say anything sarcastic. It was almost like he cared. But Harry knew that it couldn’t be true.

“All right, Potter,” Severus said after a moment of silence. “What were you about to tell me before your magic came off you in waves?”

“Why do you care?” Harry asked. His voice was barely above a whisper. “You told me basically you didn’t want to be my godfather. You want nothing to do with me.”

Harry tried to keep the tears from falling but a traitorous tear streamed down his cheek.

Severus decided not to bring attention to Harry crying, but more to what the boy said.

“I believe you are putting words in my mouth,” Severus said.

“What?” Harry asked.

“I never gave you an answer,” Severus said. “I just told you not to tell anyone.”

“So, you’re not rejecting me?” Harry asked, skeptically.

“I can’t,” Severus said, leaning back in his chair, turning to look at the fire.

“I don’t want to be a charity case,” Harry said, angrily. “I got enough of that…”

“I’m not saying that,” Severus said, cutting Harry off. “After what’s been happening these past weeks, I can’t just ignore you.”

Again, Harry’s anger dissipated.

“Something is bothering you,” Severus said. “Whatever it is, it’s bothering you. You’re not eating. I doubt that you’re sleeping.”

Harry wanted to argue that he was wrong, but the lie couldn’t pass his lips. Harry fell back against the back of the sofa as if he deflated. Who was he kidding? There was a lot bothering him.

“You reached out before,” Severus said. “I’m answering.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“I know you knew I was the one that was with you in the owlery that night.”

Harry lowered his head. His neck and cheeks heated with embarrassment.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Severus said. “But when I about to escort you back to your tower, you gripped my jacket and didn’t want to let go. Even if you didn’t consciously do it, you need it.”

“When I said I wanted to ignore it,” Severus continued. “I wasn’t saying that I was going to desert you. I meant that things were going to be the same.”

“I don’t think I can take another year like that,” Harry said, dejectedly.

“Like what?” Severus asked.

“With you hating me,” Harry said.

Severus closed his eyes for a second then looked over at the boy sitting on the sofa.

“I regret the way I spoke to you at the beginning of term,” Severus said.

Harry shrugged. His eyes were getting heavy.

“It’s okay,” Harry slurred.

“Potter,” Severus said, sitting up.

“Is that all?” Harry asked, slowly sitting up on the sofa. “Got to get back.”

“Potter.”

Harry stood up. His knee buckled. Severus stood up and caught Harry before the boy face-planted on the floor.

“When was the last time you had a full night’s sleep?” Severus asked, looking down at the boy leaning against him.

Severus lowered the child back on the sofa and stretched him out. Severus removed Harry’s glasses. He went into his room grabbing an extra blanket and pillow. Coming back to the sitting room, Severus got Harry as comfortable as possible.

“What is bothering you, child?” Severus whispered, looking down at the sleeping boy.

Severus waved his hand, dimming the light in the room then headed for bed.

TBC

Severus looked down at the sleeping boy laying on his sofa. Harry Potter was an enigma. There was so much going on with this boy. But there was a lot that this boy—child—had to deal with as well. Knowing that he couldn’t sit up all night watching over the boy, Severus waved his hand, putting an alarm over Harry so he would get an alert if Harry was distressed.

Severus sent a note to Minerva letting her know that Potter was asleep on his sofa. Severus retired to his room.

Harry woke up. He didn’t know where he was. The place was dark. Feeling around he could tell that he wasn’t in a bed. He wasn’t in Gryffindor tower; reaching out, he felt for his glasses. Nothing. Panic started to set in.

Harry sat up on the sofa and with limited sight he tried to figure out where he was. He noticed that there was a low light coming from the fireplace. Fireplace? Harry tried to remember what happened last night. Swinging his legs off the side of the sofa, he heard and felt a small crinkle in his pocket. Reaching in his pocket, Harry found a small piece of parchment. He looked at it, but the act was null and void since he didn’t have his glasses.

Harry was starting to feel anxiety growing inside him. He didn’t know where he was, and then as if a light shone around him in the dark room, his memory of last night came flooding back. He went to Snape’s chambers. The Potions Master called him down from dinner. Then his memory start to get fuzzy.

He heard the sound of a door opening, and a stream of orange light came from another area of the room. The light wasn’t bright, but Harry could make out shadowy forms.

“Ah, Mr. Potter, awake I see.”

Harry didn’t know he was holding his breath until it was forcibly released from his lungs. Professor Snape.

“Professor,” Harry said. His voice sounded weak to him.

Severus waved his hand causing the candles to illuminate the sitting room. Harry looked around now that there was light in the room. Even though he couldn’t see clearly, Harry saw the blurry shape of his glasses on the end of the coffee table. The boy put them on bringing his small world into focus.

Severus walked over to Harry and sat down in the armchair he was sitting in when Harry came in the night before.

“Are you feeling better, Harry?” Severus asked.

“What happened?” Harry inquired. “Why am I here?”

Severus raised an eyebrow at the teen. “You couldn’t keep your eyes open. I assume you’ve been having a hard time sleeping.”

“I sleep alright,” Harry said defiantly.

“I’m sure,” Severus said, sardonically. “Be that as it may, you couldn’t even stand up. You collapsed in my arms. Instead of leaving you to your own dimwitted devices, and against my better judgement, I let you stay on the sofa.”

“Well, I’m sorry I was a nuisance,” Harry said bitterly.

Harry stood up, but before he could take a step away from the sofa…

“Sit down, Mr. Potter.” Severus’ voice was not loud, but it broke no argument.

Harry lowered himself back on the sofa cushion. Any fight or defiance Harry was feeling seconds ago left him.

“Why are you keeping me here?”

“Harry,” Severus said. His voice was low and soothing. Harry couldn’t help but to want to lean into it. “I’m not holding you here. But I would like to know what is bothering you so gravely. You are scaring your friends and you’re worrying me.”

Harry wanted to retort with a scathing remark that Severus didn’t care one iota about him, and that his friends could all jump off the Astronomy tower for all he cared. But he knew neither of those were true. Harry felt tears burn his throat and pool his eyes. He didn’t want to cry. He was tired of crying.

“Harry,” Severus continued. “You can’t go through this alone. Let someone help you. You reached out to me. I will try my best to help you.”

Harry listened to his most hated professor, no, the most closed off man, no, his godfather plead for him to reach out. How can he reach out? The world was closing in. Harry felt like he was trapped in quicksand with Devil’s Snare wrapped around his neck. Everything was constricting him, making it hard to breath. The snare was wrapped around his mouth and most of his nose so only a thin amount of air could get through.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t take in air.

Harry started clawing at his collar. His breathing was wheezing. Severus rushed into action. Severus went to Harry’s side, pulling the child’s hands away from his neck before he hurt himself.

“Calm down, Harry,” Severus soothed, pulling the boy to his chest.

“Misty,” Severus called out.

Misty popped next to Severus.

“Go get me a calming draught and a cool damp flannel. Hurry.”

Misty didn’t even acknowledge Severus before popping out of the room and seconds later popping back. She saw Master Harry Potter sir in a state of panic. Dobby had told all the house elves how special Harry was.

Putting the requested items on the small table, she left again, coming back with a small bin.

Severus wanted to get the Calming Draught in the boy, but in the state he was in, Harry wouldn’t swallow anything. Severus had to coax Harry to calm down a little. Getting the flannel, Severus pressed the cool rag on the back of Harry’s neck, hoping it would ground the boy; get him back to reality.

After a minute, Harry’s panic attack didn’t stop, but it did lessen enough for Severus to feed him the Draught. With Severus’ help, Harry was able to swallow all of the potion. It didn’t take Harry long to truly calm down. Severus knew the potion did its job when he felt Harry lean into him. Severus didn’t let Harry go. He wanted to make sure that Harry understood that he wasn’t alone.

Severus, at first, didn’t want to take his role of godfather. When Harry first told him, Severus left the Leaky Cauldron to go home. His errands were long forgotten. Godfather. What did he truly know about being a godfather? He had vehemently refused Lucius and Narcissa when they asked him to be Draco’s godfather. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for the boy, he just didn’t know what that meant.

When Severus got home, he didn’t stop until he got to his small waist-size table that housed his Firewhiskey. He didn’t relax until he downed four shots of whiskey. Godfather.

He knew what he needed to do. Nothing. Nothing would change between him and Potter. It would be like it had been for the past five years.

Yes, that was Severus’ plan. But when he saw Harry walking towards the entrance of the school, he noticed that this wasn’t the same child he left at the Leaky Cauldron a few weeks ago. Something was dragging the boy down. Severus tried to get it out of his mind. He didn’t care about Harry. Harry? No, Potter. As the weeks went on, Severus’ feelings towards Harry (yes, Harry) changed. The first seed was planted when he caught Harry in the Owlery. And that seed fermented since then.

Now, Severus was sitting on his sofa, rocking back and forth, trying to calm and sooth his godson from his panic attack.

“Oh, Harry,” Severus whispered in the child’s hair. “Please tell me what is bothering you? Let me help you.”

Harry didn’t respond verbally. Just like in the Owlery, Harry reached out and gripped Severus’ shirt.

___000___000___000

Severus was walking down the corridor to the gargoyle at the end. Harry was still in his chambers. After getting some food into Harry, which was a challenge as Harry would not let go of Severus, he gave Harry a small amount of Dreamless Sleep. Harry needed to get some true sleep. Once Harry loosen his grip on Severus’ shirt, Severus knew that the boy was asleep. Laying him back down on the sofa, Severus knew he needed to see Albus.

Severus gave the password and walked up the stairs. The door swung open when he reached the top.

“Severus, my boy,” Albus said, welcoming him. “What can I do for you, this afternoon?”

“I need to talk to you about, Potter,” Severus said.

“Why?” Albus asked. “What’s going on?”

Severus sat down in the chair across from Albus’ desk.

“Harry is struggling,” Severus said, shaking his head. “He needs to deal with what is troubling him.”

“I agree,” Albus said. “But I’m curious as to why are you coming to me with this?”

“No one else is doing anything,” Severus said. “So, I stepped up.”

“I am pleased to see that you are finally taking an active role with Harry, but what is it you want done?” Albus sat back in his chair.

“He needs time away to deal with his grief and whatever else is bothering him,” Severus said.

“I agree Harry needs someone to confide in,” Albus said. “And I’m glad that you’ve taken on that role. But you don’t need my permission to work with Harry or any other student.”

“I’m not asking for that,” Severus admonished. “I don’t need your blessing for that. Harry needs to leave the school. Have some time for himself.”

“Now, that’s out of the question,” Albus said, adamantly. “Harry is safer at school.”

“Is the school safer with Harry?” Severus challenged. “I have seen Harry’s magic become overwhelming. He almost destroyed my chambers because he got upset. It is only a matter of time before he truly loses control.”

“That won’t happen,” Albus said. “You’ll work with him. Show him how to calm himself down.”

“You’re a fool, Albus,” Severus said, standing up. “There is absolutely no way a couple of hours will get Harry to deal with whatever is bothering him. Whatever the child is going through is eating the child alive.”

“I have total faith in you, Severus,” Albus said. “You will take care of this.”

___000___000___000

A complete waste of time. Severus walked into his chambers and saw that Harry was still asleep on the sofa. Looking at the boy, he could see that this was the calmest he’s seen Harry since their visit at the Leaky Cauldron.

Severus knelt beside the sofa at Harry’s head. Looking down at the child that carried the entire world on his shoulders as well as whatever is bothering him. Severus lightly brushed the hair off Harry’s forehead and looked at the foreboding scar that is the cause of most of Harry’s problems. Severus let the child sleep. He couldn’t sit here and watch over Harry like a hawk. Severus still had papers to grade. Harry would be asleep until the next morning.

The next day, Harry left Severus’ chambers with orders that if he was feeling down or upset that he was to come to Severus’ chambers and talk it out. Harry nodded, not at all planning on doing that. The child just wanted to get out of these chambers.

Severus watched Harry as he walked down the dimly lit corridor, heading for the stairs. Severus hoped that things would get a little better, or that Harry would seek help on his own. But when do things ever work out like that?

___000___000___000

Severus walked down the corridor. It had been a long time since he came down this way. They appeared as if they didn’t get along, but it was just a ruse. They both had respect for each other. Severus needed to talk to someone that would take his concerns seriously and not brush them off. When he reached the door, Severus knocked. Once he was bided entrance, he opened the door and walked into the Deputy Headmistress’ chambers.

“Severus,” Minerva said. “What was so important that you wanted to have this meeting?”

Minerva waved her hand over her pristine desk. A tea service appeared. Severus sat in the chair opposite Minerva.

“Have you noticed anything different with Potter?” Severus asked.

Minerva looked at Severus for a moment. “Yeah, he’s seems withdrawn. I know his friends try to talk with him. The boy doesn’t seem that responsive.”

“Several things have come to light since the end of Summer holidays. No one other than the people it concerns knows of this new development.”

“What is it?”

“I learned that I’m Mr. Potter’s godfather,” Severus said.

One of Severus’ reasoning was that he wasn’t sure how people would take an ex-Death Eater as the godfather of The Boy Who Lived. Though Minerva was someone Severus could call a friend, he didn’t know how she would receive the information.

“Harry knows this?” Minerva asked.

“He was the one who told me,” Severus answered. “Did you know he ran away from his relatives?”

Minerva’s brow furrowed as she shook her head. “Has something happened?”

“Harry won’t say,” Severus said. “There’s a lot of things he won’t say.”

“What do you mean?” Minerva asked, her tea forgotten.

Severus told the Transfiguration Professor what happened the first week back at the start of term, then he went into what happened and why Harry was with him for two days.

“Have you talked to Albus about it?” Minerva asked.

“Yes,” Severus said, nodding. “He won’t acknowledge it. I feel that the fact that whatever is bothering Harry the child is not processing right, his magic is going to get out of hand. During the time with me, he almost exploded my belongings. I believe that Harry needs to be taken away from the school so that he can properly heal.”

“Where do you think Harry should go? St. Mungo’s is out of the question. The last thing he needs is the public in his business more.”

“I agree,” Severus admitted, taking a sip of his tea. “I am planning on taking him to a secure location and staying with him until we can get to the root of the problem.”

“How can I help?” Minerva asked.

“If it comes to taking Harry from here,” Severus responded, “I’ll need your support. I’ll be going against Albus. He doesn’t want Harry to leave. For a lack of a better phase, Harry is a ticking time bomb. Can I count on your help?”

“Yes, you can, Severus.”

Severus nodded. Severus needed his total focus to be on Harry. Not worrying if he had to evade Albus.

___000___000___000

It had been three weeks since Harry stayed in Severus’ chambers. Severus noticed that Harry was becoming more and more withdrawn. Severus tried to reach out to Harry, but he was ignoring his messages. Severus tried to keep Harry after class so he could know what was going on, but then Harry stopped coming into class. After a while, Harry stopped coming to the Great Hall.

Severus noticed that besides Minerva it seemed that no one else except Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley were worried about the state Harry was in.

Things came to a head when, during dinner, Ms. Granger came into the Great Hall with Harry in tow. She looked determined to have Harry sit and eat. Even up at the Head table, Severus and Minerva could see magic rolling off Harry in waves. Minerva and Severus looked at each other in alarm. This is not going to end well, Severus thought. No sooner than the thought passed his mind, it happened. The Professors could cast the spell fast enough.

___000___000___000

When Professor Snape let Harry go, it seemed that Harry couldn’t get away from him fast enough. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t like Snape’s company. The complete opposite. Harry didn’t like the feelings he was getting. Harry didn’t deserve comfort. He didn’t deserve understanding. The world should be angry with him. The world should hate him. Harry didn’t want to contaminate anyone else.

Once Harry stopped walking, he noticed he was in the Owlery. He looked around. There weren’t any owls on the ledges. Harry figured they may be out hunting for food. He wanted to whistle for Hedwig, but his owl was pure as her feathers. The last thing he wanted was to stain his owl.

“Harry.”

Harry turned and saw Hermione standing in the doorway.

“Yeah,” Harry said.

“Are you alright?” Hermione asked as she walked closer to him.

Harry didn’t answer. When he saw Hermione get close, he moved away from her. Harry looked at her and saw pity and hurt in her eyes. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her. Hermione was his best friend.

“Ron and I are going to see Hagrid,” Hermione said. “Want to come?”

Harry tried to force a smile which probably looked more like a grimace. Deep down he wanted to say no but didn’t.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry said.

Hermione and Harry met up with Ron and they headed towards Hagrid’s hut. That’s how things went for a while. Hermione and Ron tried to get Harry to do something, anything. They were at a loss as to how to help Harry.

As the weeks went by, Harry was becoming more and more withdrawn. He completely stopped talking. He’d gone into the habit of skipping classes. When Hermione or Ron tried to look for him, they couldn’t find him. Ron suspected that he was going around in his Invisibility cloak.

Finally, Hermione caught a glimpse of Harry. Before she could lose him again, she casted a body bind on him. She released it once she got close enough to grip his arm.

“Hermione, what are you doing?” Harry asked. His voice was hard.

“You have been avoiding us,” Hemione said, just as angry. “You are coming with me to the Great Hall and have some dinner. I know you haven’t been eating.”

“Let me go,” Harry raged. He tried to pull his wrist from Hermione’s grasp, but he couldn’t.

Harry didn’t want to go to the Great Hall. He didn’t want to be around anyone. Why couldn’t everybody get that? Yes, he’d been avoiding people. Obviously, he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to see anyone. He’d been dodging Snape. He saw that McGonagall was watching him too, so he kept his distance from her.

Just leave me alone. Just leave me alone. Just leave me alone. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Hermione was able to successfully pull Harry into the Great Hall. As she was walking to her seat. The floor started to rumble. Before Hermione could register what was happening, she was thrown across the room. Everyone within ten feet of Harry was thrown. Hufflepuff and Gryffindor’s tables erupted into splinters.

The professors couldn’t stop the blast of magic, but they were able to cushion the walls and floor so that the children’s landing wouldn’t be devastating. There was screaming and crying heard throughout the Hall. Minerva and Severus looked at each other. They nodded. Severus got to Harry’s side. Harry was unconscious on the floor.

The blast of magic took away the anti-apparation over the Great Hall. Severus picked up Harry. Severus looked at Minerva again. Severus, with the boy in his arms, apparated out of the Great Hall.

TBC