The smell of the melted goo caked on the cauldron mixed with the faint scent of soap filled the classroom, stinging Severus’s nose slightly and nearly making his eyes water. Severus glanced over at Harry, who was trying hard to scrub the potion residue off, tears trailing down his cheek and his nose scrunched. The boy swiped an arm over his face and sniffed before scrubbing at the cauldron once more. Severus sighed, staring down at the essays he was grading at his desk. He would not admit that he felt sorry for the boy, but he was sure Harry had been punished enough for his behavior in class.

               Standing from his desk, Severus walked over to the sink where Harry had successfully managed to clean one and a half cauldrons, the other half of the cauldron he was working on stubbornly refused to shine. Severus paused next to Harry, watching him for a second. The boy scrubbed vigorously.

               “Potter,” he began.

               “I almost got it,” Harry muttered.

               Rolling his eyes, Severus pulled out his wand and tapped the rim of the cauldron twice, a strong cleansing spell washing over the pewter and leaving a polished gleam. Harry blinked, then glared up at Severus.

               “Then why do you make us scrub these if you can just do that?”

               “Physical labor keeps you children busy and out of trouble,” Severus answered. He glanced up at the clock. “You’ve been scrubbing the same cauldron for thirty minutes. That type of potion mixture hardened on the pewter is very hard to scrub off, though you did an impressive job thus far, you would have been scrubbing for another thirty minutes. This detention would be quite wasteful spent on one cauldron.”

               “I cleaned that one, too.” Harry pointed at the cauldron on the drying rack.

               “Fine. Two cauldrons.”

               Harry looked down at his shoes.

               Sighing, Severus motioned the boy to follow him. He walked back over to his desk, waving a hand so a chair flew up for Harry. Sitting behind the desk, Severus waited until Harry was settled in front of him. Shuffling through some parchment, Severus pulled out what he was looking for and handed it to Harry. Harry frowned as he picked it up, blinking as he recognized it.

               “My essay,” he said. “You gave me an E?”

               “You told your story well, though it could have been structured in a more defined manner and your punctuation needs work, but otherwise, it was more than acceptable. As promised, your grade has been raised to a P and I expect better work from you. There will be no more second chances for you.”

               “Yes, sir. Thank you . . . for everything.”

               “Do not thank me yet,” Severus said, picking up his quill and writing on a blank parchment. “There is still the rest of your detention to be taken care of.”

               “The rest! But I thought . . .”

               “You thought wrong. Here.” Severus pushed the parchment over to Harry, along with a new quill. “You will write the sentence at the top a hundred times. Then your detention will be over.” Severus began grading more assignments.

               “I will not disrupt class again with my cheeky attitude or tantrums. I didn’t have a tantrum!”

               “Acting out in class merely because you did not like my treatment towards your friends? What exactly do you call that, Mr. Potter?”
               “Being a good friend,” Harry said.

               Severus smirked at the boy. “Indeed. Write your lines.”

               Harry blinked at the man, obviously surprised that a snarky remark had not been thrown at him or a counterstatement had been presented. Harry mumbled indecipherably as he picked up the quill and began writing the lines. Severus glanced at the child, smiling softly before continuing his grading.

 

               The next day, Severus arrived at the ministry office and strode directly to Fudge’s office, ready to make the argument of his life. He entered the man’s office without so much as a knock. Fudge groaned.

               “Is there a way I ca be rid of you permanently? You’re not here because . . .”

               “On the account of Potter and his wellbeing?” Severus supplied, crossing his arms as he stood in front of the older man’s desk.

               “Of course,” Fudge sighed. “Look, Professor, I have tried being reasonable and respectful with you, as well as understanding considering this must be a sensitive topic for you, but you cannot just waltz in here without my permission. This is the last time this happens, or I will call the Aurors on you.”

               “You asked if there was a way to be rid of me,” Severus said. “I’m glad to inform you that there is. I would like to pursue guardianship over Harry Potter, and all I need re the correct papers from you.”

               “Guardianship over the Boy-Who-Lived? Have you lost your mind? The papers would be all over it, especially considering your history.”

               Severus refrained from rolling his eyes, deciding to go with the mature option of slowly closing them and taking a deep breath. “Which is why it would be done under the table. Obviously, someone with the correct authority would need to officialize it, and that one person would be you. Besides a witness, all the papers need are the signatures of the guardian and the ward. We do not have to have the whole courthouse experience, you know.”

               Fudge frowned, narrowing his eyes at Severus. He stroked his chin as he shuffled through a side desk drawer, pulling out guardianship papers.

               “I see your point, Professor Snape,” Fudge said. “And keeping this under the table would be for the best. But I do not believe this is truly in the boy’s best interest. Have you really thought this through? Do you think Mr. Potter is so willing to leave his family – despite how awful – to live with you?”

               “I have spoken to Harry and he willingly agreed.”

               “With no coercion?”

               “None.”

               “Hmm. Very well. I shall serve as your witness and Ministry official. Sign here.”

               Severus felt as if he was under an Imperius curse as he stepped forward and accepted the offered quill. Just like that? Was this for real? His hands shook the slightest as he signed his name in his crisp and sharp way, the last letter in his name coming out a bit squiggled. He stood up tall once more, watching as a swirl of gold flickered above his name, binding it magically. Was this really happening? Had he just done it?

               “I shall go see the boy and have him sign in secret, if that is agreeable.”

               “Yes,” Severus said automatically. He blinked, then said, “I request that I am present during his signing.”

               “I’m afraid I must decline,” Fudge said, standing and tucking the papers away. “I will review its material with the boy and make sure he understands everything, such as inheritance and legal standings, however, if I am to be sure this is an honest commitment, I must witness the boy sign without your presence. Considering we will not hold a custody court arrangement, things must be done very delicately. Surely you can understand that?”

               Severus did, but he felt that he shouldn’t leave Harry alone with Fudge. However, he didn’t want to be the reason things went south and he was refused guardianship when everything was going so well at the moment. He nodded.

               “Very well, if you feel you must. I will receive a copy of everything once it is official?”

               “When I sign, you will receive a copy.”

               Severus nodded, unsure of what else to do or say. Everything seemed too easy all of a sudden. He didn’t want to question his luck before it ran out, so he thanked Fudge and left, walking on air the entire way back to Hogwarts.

               He should have known better.

               It was nearing Saturday evening when firm knocks on Severus’s office door caught the man’s attention. When Severus opened the door, Harry stomped in and glared at the man.

               “Is it true?” the boy demanded, tears in the child’s eyes. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time! I thought . . .”

               “Excuse me?” Severus snapped, shutting the door behind them. “What are you talking about?”

               “Someone came here with papers and . . .”

               “Minister Fudge.”

               “Yeah, him. He told me . . . he said that you . . .”

               Severus felt his heart chill, his mind wandering to the many dark secrets Fudge could have told Harry. He felt a strong surge of hatred for the man for playing him as the minister had. He should have insisted that he be there when Harry signed. He should have seen this coming.

               “Harry, what did he tell you?”

               “What does it matter what he said? You never cared about me at all – did you? This was all for nothing – you pretending to care about me never had anything to do with me, did it!”

               “Calm down and answer the question, Potter, what did he say to you? Did you even sign the paper?”

               “No, you answer me! You hated me the second I walked in this school – why do you really want guardianship over me? What do you have to make up for?”

               “Potter,” Severus stepped closer to Harry, hesitantly reaching towards the distraught child. Harry pulled away, cradling his hands against his chest. He bared his teeth at Severus.

               “Don’t touch me! You still hate me, don’t you? You never liked me, you hated my father and you’re not even doing this for me.”

               “Harry!” Severus managed to grab Harry’s arms, holding the child still. “Look at me.”

               Harry’s red-trimmed, angry eyes met Severus’s for a second, enough for Severus to dive into the boy’s memories. Harry’s mind had the very conversation he was looking for up front.

               Harry was standing in front of Albus’s desk, the headmaster himself was absent from the room. Fudge was sitting behind the desk, the guardianship papers on the table and a quill resting to the side. Fudge was explaining what the papers were and what they meant then said Harry could sign when he was ready. Severus narrowed his eyes as he watched Harry pick up the quill readily, a smile on his face.

               “If you are absolutely sure, that is,” Fudge said, watching the boy closely.

               “Oh, I’m sure,” Harry nodded.

               “You must be okay with the man’s obvious dislike for you.”

               “He doesn’t dislike . . . he said he liked having me spend time with me.”

               “That doesn’t mean he likes you. Or even care about you. He’s not doing this because he loves you,” Fudge snorted at the very idea. “Has he ever told you in person that he likes you? He has obligations to live up to. He is obviously making up for his own horrid childhood by helping you. And repaying an old debt.”

               “What do you mean?” Harry frowned, the quill lowering. Severus felt his heart ache at that movement.

               “Did you know he and your mother were friends?” Fudge asked. “Good friends too. I dare say, he had feelings for your mother.”

               “What makes you say that?”

               “Do you know what a patronus is, Harry?”

               Harry shook his head.

               “A patronus charm is a spell used to ward off certain dark creatures but can also be used for communication purposes. When cast, it often appears as a silvery animal that is symbolic to the caster. And when a patronus changes to the same animal as another’s, that usually means some kind of bond, and sometimes, love. I have the information here of the registered patronuses.”

               Severus sucked in a heavy breath as Fudge pulled out a file. He knew where this was going.

               “James Potter’s patronus was a stag, and your mother’s, Lily Evans, became a doe, complimenting your father’s. They did marry after all. Do you know what Severus’s patronus is? No? His is also a doe. Which means he loved your mother.”

               Severus watched Harry, seeing the boy’s confused expression. Harry didn’t seem too bothered by the information and slowly raised the quill once more. Fudge nodded encouragingly, then added casually, “I guess taking you in is his apology for killing the love of his life.”

               Severus huffed, closing his eyes as Harry snapped his head up with a “what?”

               “He never told you any of this? It was all revealed during the man’s trial years back – how he had told You-Know-Who that the one to defeat him would be born at the end of the seventh month. When were you born, exactly?”

               The quill in Harry’s hand slowly lowered, the boy’s face scrunched up.

               “You don’t think the attack on your parents was because they rebelled against You-Know-Who, do you? There were reasons you were targeted. And Snape was that reason.”

               “He . . . Professor Snape worked for You-Know-Who?”

               “My, has the professor kept you in the dark. But I’m sure he’ll make a wonderful guardian. You still want to sign, don’t you?”

               Harry set the quill down and slowly backed away, a devilish smile on Fudge’s lips. Severus sighed, shaking his head, biting back so many mixed emotions as he withdrew from Harry’s mind.

               Harry’s eyes were glazed but they slowly cleared up. Severus released Harry, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He should have never let Fudge see Harry. Ever. There was so much the boy needed to know now thanks to that man. There was so much for the boy to understand. And worse, Harry had not signed the papers.

               “What did you do?”

               “Harry,” Severus began, his tone soft.

               “It’s all true, isn’t it?” Harry glared.  

               “There is a lot that was left unsaid . . .”

               “You hate me still, don’t you? You never wanted me; you just took pity because you loved my mum but not me. Fudge was right. You got her killed, didn’t you?”

               “Let me explain . . .”

               “You’re not denying it?”

               Severus took a deep breath, all those years of guilt and anger he felt for what had happened to the Potters hitting him square in the chest. He pushed it all down as shook his head at Harry. “Listen to me . . .”

               “No, I’m leaving. And I hate you too!”

               Harry’s words felt like a whirret to the face, but as the boy pushed past him, Severus snatched the child by the wrist, stopping him from leaving.

               “I have not dismissed you,” Severus said.

               “I dismissed myself. Let me go. You’ve been lying to me this whole time.” Harry pushed against Severus with his free hand, but the man managed to grab the boy’s other wrist in his. Harry tried to pull his hands free.   

               “I have not. You simply do not know my whole story.”

               “Well, now I do. And you never liked me so why should I stay? I’ll go back to my relatives – at least they never lied about their feelings toward me.”

               “I have not lied to you about how I feel. I have just never told you. And I love you, Harry.”

               Harry shook his head. “No, you don’t.”

               Severus lowered himself slightly, so he was eye-level with Harry. “I do.”

               “Stop. Let me go.”

               Harry pulled back again, but Severus pulled the boy closer, close enough to plant a quick kiss on the boy’s forehead. He gave Harry a serious look. “I do.”

               Harry frowned at Severus before falling into the man’s chest, shaking his head against the man’s soft robes. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

               “I know,” Severus said, wrapping his arms around Harry in a strong embrace. He stood, lifting Harry with him, the boy wrapping his arms around Severus’s neck. They needed to have a long talk now and clear up some confusion. And all this without revealing too much. There were some things Harry was just not ready for, especially in this vulnerable state.

Severus carried the boy through a back door that led to his quarters. He set Harry down on his sofa and ordered for tea. When it arrived, Severus summoned a vial of calming draught, pouring a good dose in a cup for Harry. He stirred the tea and handed it to the boy.

“Small, slow sips,” he advised. “It’s just a calming draught.”

Harry nodded absently, lifting the cup to his lips and taking a small sip. He lowered the cup, holding it in his hands. “Sorry.”

“If anyone should apologize, it is me. I should never have allowed Fudge to see you without me. What he did was unprofessional and extremely hypocritical.” Severus snarled under his breath, remembering his conversation with Fudge that morning. He sighed, seeing Harry’s confused look. “That will not happen again. I am sorry you had to go through that.”

Severus sat next to Harry, turning slightly so he could face the boy.

“What I am about to tell you will be repeated to no one, understand?” Severus said. Harry nodded. “It’s important that this is kept between you and I. Your mother and I were friends from the time we were children until the end of our fifth year in Hogwarts. We had a . . . falling out. Now that is a story for another time,” Severus quickly said when Harry looked ready to ask questions. “Right now, I need you to understand what happened between your mother and I. I did care greatly for her, loved her even as we got to our teen years. And that love did not fade when we stopped speaking to each other.”

Harry studied the cup in his hands, taking another sip.

“However, my home life was . . . difficult. My father was often abusive, my mother neglectful. And while in Hogwarts, in Slytherin House, I made the wrong types of friends, found myself growing more obsessed with the Dark Arts and the need to prove my worth to anyone. And when I left Hogwarts, I was quick to become a follower of the Dark Lord.”

“The dark lord?” Harry frowned.

“You-Know-Who,” Severus clarified, rolling up the sleeve of his left arm, revealing a reddish mark. Harry inched closer to Severus to get a better look. Just as quickly, Severus rolled down his sleeve. “I took the Dark Mark, branded as one of his, and at the time, I felt like I was worth something. Like I was making a difference for the greater good.” Severus shook his head. “How wrong I was then. One night, I overheard a . . . well, a prophesy about the one who could defeat the Dark Lord. That is also a discussion for a later date. As Fudge explained to you, the one who would defeat You-Know-Who was born as the seventh month dies. I had no idea the Dark Lord would target you or your parents, nor did I make the connection. All I knew was that I had information that would win me points as a follower, that would show my loyalty.”

Severus shook his head, pouring himself a cup of tea. Harry seemed attentive to what he was saying, his eyes wide but a bit distant. Severus took a long drink of tea, thinking over his next words.

“I tried to stop him,” Severus finally spoke, Harry looking up at the man. Severus didn’t look at Harry. His eyes focused on the chair across from him, images of him pleading with the Dark Lord, with Albus, and then learning of the Potter’s deaths. He glanced over at Harry, who was watching him patiently. “I pleaded with the Dark Lord, and then I turned to Albus when I failed. I begged him to hide you all. It was futile, as you know. The one true friend I ever had, the only one I had ever loved, was killed. I was heartbroken, but I also knew I no longer supported the Dark Lord.”

“And me?” Harry asked.

“Well, you had survived. And for the longest time, I envied that you lived when Lily did not. And your father and I did not get along in school. We were very much rivals.”

“Like me and Malfoy?”

“Malfoy and I,” Severus corrected with a smile. Harry gave the man an annoyed look. Severus snorted. “Yes, like you and Mr. Malfoy. And when you arrived at Hogwarts, I saw every bit of your father in you. And I was prepared to hate you for it. But then I got to know you. And you are more like your mother in many ways.”

“Everyone says I have her eyes,” Harry said.

“You do. But you have her big, forgiving heart as well; her compassion, her spirit, her cheekiness,” Severus narrowed his eyes at Harry, though he was smiling. Harry smiled back. “But you are not her or your father. You are your own person. You are funny, and loyal to your friends. Stubborn as a mule, but usually for good reasons. And the more I learned about you, I realized I couldn’t hate you, not even in pretend. At one point I loved your mother, but she is gone now, and I will love her in my memories. I am sorry for what happened to your parents, but I would like to have you in my life for who you are – not for some obligation to them or regrets, but because I have grown to love you. If it is what you still want, that is.”

Harry set his cup down and stood in front of Severus. Severus raised an eyebrow at the child. Slowly, Harry wrapped his arms around the man’s neck, Severus smiling as he brought his own arms around Harry.

“I love you, too,” Harry said. “I want to stay with you.”

Severus patted Harry’s back before he scooped the boy into his lap, enveloping him in his arms. “Thank you, Harry. I am glad my story did not chase you away.”

Harry rested his head against the man’s chest. “It’s a lot to think about,” the boy admitted, “but it doesn’t sound like you meant for my parents to die. So that doesn’t make it your fault. And you were kind of like me as a kid, in a way. Fudge was wrong.”

Severus hummed, content to let the sentence hang in the air.    

“I didn’t sign the papers,” Harry said. “I’m really sorry – I just, I had no idea . . .”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know. I should have told you sooner about all of this, prepared you even before pursuing guardianship further. I will take care of it, Harry. Trust me.”

“I do,” Harry smiled.

 

The next morning, Severus threw the door to Fudge’s office open, storming inside. Fudge had been sitting at his desk reviewing papers, but at the sight of Severus, he rolled his eyes and stood.

“What did I tell you yesterday, Professor?” Fudge snapped.

“How dare you!” Severus growled. “You manipulated Harry so he wouldn’t sign. You knew all along what you were doing.”

“I take it the boy went crying to you, eh? I wanted to make sure he knew exactly what he was getting himself into. And I was right to do so, you’ve told that child nothing. Keeping him in the dark is no better than neglect.”

“What you told the child was none of your business, nor was it crucial information Harry had to know then and there. What do you have against my taking guardianship of the boy?”

“I only want what is best for the child. And what is best for him is to remain in the safety of the blood wards, something you cannot provide the boy. But if the child still wishes to sign, I can provide the papers . . .”

“Hold that thought,” Severus said, an idea brightening in his mind at what Fudge had said.

“Did you interrupt me, Snape?”

“That’s it,” Severus said, ignoring the man’s question. “Why did I not think of that before? I don’t need the Ministry for it. No paperwork, no interfering, no check-ins every once in a while, no ministry anything. And it’s completely off the records. It’s perfect.”

“What are you talking about? You need the Ministry for any child custody arrangement.”

“Not for a blood adoption.”

Fudge’s face paled considerable, white as the snow flurry outside. His lips curled as he said, “That type of binding is illegal.”

“No, it’s frowned upon. There’s a difference.”

“Then I’ll make it illegal. This instant.”

Severus laughed ominously, folding his hands behind his back. “You and I both know a law needs at least a week to be reviewed and considered before it’s passed in the Wizarding world. Plenty of time for me to make arrangements with someone to perform the old ritual and binding magic.”

“I will not allow you to blood adopt Harry Potter. There’s a reason no one does that bloody magic anymore.”

“Who’s stopping me?” Severus smirked, holding his arms out as he started to back out of the room.

“I’ll have you arrested!”

“On what charges? Barging through your door again? I’ve done nothing illegal yet.”

“Snape, you need to think about what is best for the boy.”

“I have, and the Ministry is really the worst thing for him. So thank you for trying to emotionally scar the boy and ruin his life. I’ll take it from here. Good day.”

Severus walked out of the office. “Snape! Snape!” He heard Fudge calling. But he walked on, a victorious smile on his face.