“POTTER!”

Snape's thunderous voice slammed Harry back to consciousness and he scrambled to get himself upright. “Wha’s happened?” he blurted, alarmed and disoriented as his brain frantically tried to piece together how he’d come to be in this unfamiliar place with Snape yelling at him. He’d been having a blessedly sound sleep, the first in ages, and he found himself rather annoyed by its forced conclusion.

“Did I not make it clear that you are expected to be using your time productively? Or have I overestimated your familiarity with the concept?” Snape jeered.

Harry wondered how much time had actually passed, hoping Snape had taken pity on him and come to get him for tea. But one look at Snape’s sour, twisted expression told him the man was not in what could be called a compassionate mood.

Harry glowered back at him. “I’m familiar. I was just tired, I haven’t had much sleep these last few nights,” he said. Snape's brow quirked with faint interest. “Late night escapades keeping you up, Potter?”

Harry shook his head, the remembrance of his dream bringing back a sense of guilt. He had to look away although he was sure Snape took the reaction as confirmation for his suspicions. He decided he didn't care what Snape thought so long as it wasn’t close to the truth. Bad enough Snape knew about his visions, he didn’t need to know about the nightmares too, especially not when it was Snape’s fault he’d had such a rough go last night anyway. The man would probably like nothing more than to hear how painfully effective his tirade had been.

Harry wasn't going to give Snape the satisfaction, instead he adopted a more sullen demeanor, hoping to stop his professor from inquiring further. “It’s really none of your business,” Harry grumbled, falling back on the bed and turning to face the wall instead. “How about you just let me sleep?”

“You have already managed to sleep the day away, it is time to get up,” Snape said shortly, though Harry could hear the professor actively trying to suppress his irritation.

“I think I’ll be the one judging when I’ve slept enough,” Harry replied crossly, trying but mostly failing to ignore how horribly exposed he suddenly felt with his back to Snape. He hardened his resolve, knowing Snape was likely to be thoroughly horrid to him whether he obeyed or not.

Snape let out an exasperated breath.“Must you be so aggravatingly childish? I was not making a request and this senseless obstinance will get you nowhere.”

Harry offered no indication he’d noticed Snape had spoken.

“Consider this your final warning: if you carry on in this pattern of disrespect, you will only be making things more difficult for yourself. Now, will you cooperate or must we continue with this puerile display?”

Harry considered cooperating, he thought it was probably wise to let Snape win this particular battle, pointless as it was, but still he hesitated and in that moment Snape seemed to lose his patience entirely.

“Get up now or I will drag you from this bed myself!” Snape snapped, very nearly shouting. Harry quickly sat himself back up, fearing Snape could well be on the verge of doing just that. The man was looking down on him murderously and Harry felt a twinge of panic in his chest. He made an effort to cover his alarm, hurrying to get his feet under him and glaring hard at his professor.

“Maybe I’ll go on and tell Dumbledore you’ve already been threatening me!” he said, drawing himself up in warning.

Snape scowled. “You can save your act for someone who cares, Potter. Clearly you are finding it too difficult to grasp that we are no longer in Hogwarts. Take a good look around you, neither the headmaster nor your pathetic band of followers will be coming to your rescue here.”

Harry was in fact acutely aware of his circumstances, but he forced himself to hold his ground. “It doesn’t matter, you're still my professor and if you so much as touch me, I'll make sure you never set foot in Hogwarts again! Do you think anyone would believe you over the Boy-Who-Lived?” he said with as much confidence as he could manage; hopefully Snape would remember that the world was watching even if there were no eyes on them right now. Maybe for once his fame would do him some good.

Snape looked at him, unaffected. “We do not have time for your little tantrum, Potter,” he said, “Because of this delay, it is now well past 7 o'clock, it is time for your Occlumency lesson. Do not make this more difficult than it has to be.”

Harry wavered for a moment, unhappily realizing he'd slept straight through dinner and yet he was still undeniably tired. Couldn't Snape have woken him a bit sooner anyway? He sighed inwardly, letting the complaint slip away: it was his own doing really, he just wished it’d been worth it.

“Fine,” he relented, following as Snape turned to leave the bedroom.

They entered the sitting room, a small room devoid of the usual coziness one would expect of such a place. Three chairs sat arranged in a semicircle around a roaring fireplace, which did nothing to give the uninviting room the slightest sense of warmth.

Snape turned to him. “The Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency,” Harry opened his mouth but Snape held up a hand to forestall the obvious question. “Legilimency is the ability to extract feelings and memories from another person’s mind.”

“He can read my thoughts?” Harry asked, fear blooming at the possibility that such a thing existed.

Snape let out a breath.“An inelegant and largely inaccurate way of interpreting it. Legilimency is more... nuanced: with the right conditions, those who have mastered the art are able to access the memories and emotions of their victims and interpret their findings correctly. The Dark Lord, for instance, almost always knows when somebody is lying to him. It requires one who is skilled at Occlumency to shut down any feelings and memories that contradict the lie and thus evade his detection.”

“You said Vol...The Dark Lord and I are connected, could he know what I'm feeling right now?” Harry asked uneasily.

“In short, it is possible. The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance from us as of now. Often the use of Legilimency requires eye contact. In your case however, I believe he could enter you mind as easily as if he were standing in this very room. It is fortunate for both of us he has not yet discovered the connection.”

Harry nodded.

“This brings us back to your Occlumency lesson. Take out your wand.” Snape instructed, bringing out his own ebony wand.

Harry did so, getting into a ready stance. “What are we going to do?” he asked.

“I will be using Legilimency to break into your mind, and you will attempt to resist me by any means you can.” Snape told him simply, raising his wand.

Harry froze, looking at the professor with wide eyes, his heart suddenly pounding. He wasn't prepared for that at all.

“Y-you're going to enter my mind?” Snape would have access to all of his memories, suddenly he was living out one of his worst fears. If Snape found out any of what he'd been hiding, the man would mock him mercilessly. He had no doubt that Snape would gleefully reveal to the whole school how their beloved “hero” was nothing but a fraud. He would lose the image he'd worked so hard to build and he couldn't stand the thought of losing his friends, seeing the hurt and disappointment on their faces as they realized they’d been lied to.

“Indeed,” Snape replied, interrupting his thought spiral.“Ready yourself, Potter.”

Harry was about to ask just how he was supposed to do that, but Snape never gave him the chance.

“Legilimens!”

The effect was immediate, bright images began flickering through his mind, blinding him to his surroundings.

He was eleven and he'd just gotten his Hogwarts letter, he felt hope for the first time since he could remember … He'd just met Ron on the train, was this what it felt like to have a friend? … He was pulling the Sword of Gryffindor out of the Sorting Hat, a foreign sensation of power coursing through him … He was on a broom for the first time, it was the most free he'd ever felt … He'd just found out that Sirius was his Godfather and didn’t feel so alone anymore … He was standing in front of a mirror, his parents were waving back at him …

Get out, get out, get out! Harry thought as hard as he could. Suddenly he was back in the sitting room on his hands and knees panting wildly. Had he actually managed to drive Snape out? He stumbled back up to his feet looking over to his professor as he caught his breath. The man was rubbing a large red weal on his forearm, his face twisted into an ugly grimace.

“A poor effort indeed, Potter. A simple stinging hex will have no effect on the Dark Lord, even if he should happen to be in the vicinity of it. You must repel me with your mind not your wand! I was far too easily able to access memories of things you care about, things that have evoked emotions in you which can be exploited as weaknesses!”

“You haven’t even told me how!” Harry snapped, frustration already taking over.

“Mind your cheek,” Snape said, his voice lowering dangerously for a moment, but he continued calmly, “Now, you have an idea of what to expect. Close your eyes and focus on clearing your mind. Empty yourself of all thought and emotion.”

Harry relaxed a little, was that all it was? If there was one thing he was good at it was suppressing his emotions when he needed to. He was the boy-who-lived after all, and there was no room in that persona for doubt and uncertainty. Harry closed his eyes, focused on scraping up some confidence and gathered it in his mind like a wall. He took a deep breath, filing away all his negative thoughts behind a barrier of determination and not letting any emotion break through. Once he felt stable he looked steadily at Snape.

The Potions master raised a dubious brow, “You are ready?”

Harry nodded. “Very well, I will not be holding back this time... Legilimens!”

Despite his best efforts, Harry felt a small tentacle of dread snake its way through just as Snape uttered the spell: if the man had been holding back before, what would a full on attack feel like?

Snape swept past his shaky resistance as though it weren’t there, plunging back into Harry's memories.

He was five, staring down at a broken vase on the floor, terror beginning to overwhelm him … He was nine as Ripper chased him up a tree, the Dursley's laughing as they watched … Quirrell unwrapped his turban, the horrifying visage of Voldemort coming into view, he didn't know what to do … He was packing frantically, he'd just blown up his Aunt Marge, he had to leave now … A fourth name appeared from the Goblet, and Harry's heart sank … Cedric was lying on the ground, eyes empty and lifeless …

“NO!” The flashes stopped and Harry found himself back on the floor. His head felt as though it might split open.

“You are not trying! You are letting me see your fear, handing me weapons! You must discipline your mind, let go of all emotion!”

“I am trying! I cleared my mind and it didn't help!”

Snape didn’t appear to believe him. “We will go again,” Snape pointed his wand at him and Harry squeezed his eyes shut, turning away.

“No! I mean, can't we try again tomorrow? My head is starting to hurt,” he said, desperate to get away; he wasn't in control and Snape had seen too much already.

“We have hardly even begun. The Dark Lord is not going to wait until you are comfortable to attack your mind, you must be prepared to face him under all conditions. This is an exercise in mental discipline, I will not accept any excuses.” Snape paused, and Harry could feel the man eying him. “I said before that eye contact was ideal for Legilimency, however it is not always necessary, especially once an initial connection has already been made,” he said coolly.

Harry looked up, horrified. Snape could read his mind anytime he wanted? He could feel himself starting to panic in earnest. His eyes locked with Snape's but he realized his mistake too late. Snape smirked, raising his wand and incanting the spell in an instant and Harry's world became a swirling mess once again.

He'd been caught completely off guard and Snape tore effortlessly through his memories while Harry found himself completely unable to put up even the slightest resistance. Eventually Snape pulled none too gently out of his mind, leaving Harry with a fiercely throbbing head and a painfully prickling scar.

“You are too weak, Potter! You will not stand a chance if you cannot master your emotions! The Dark Lord will have no trouble penetrating your feeble mind!” he said savagely.

“I am not weak, you tricked me, I had no time to prepare,” Harry responded, bitterness flavoring every word.

Snape looked down at him contemptuously. “Your simple mindedness is hardly my fault, Potter. I did not expect you to master Occlumency in one try, however your performance so far has been pitiful even for you. I could expect better results from an intoxicated flobberworm.”

Harry's hands curled into fists as he tried to control the fury threatening to overtake him. “You're being completely unfair!”

“The Dark Lord –”

“I don’t care about Voldemort right now! You're just using him as an excuse for being a rubbish teacher!”

Snape closed the distance between them in one stride and Harry took a shaky step back before he could stop himself. Obsidian eyes bore through him but Harry held his ground, refusing to directly meet the man's gaze. He watched apprehensively as the seething Potions master gritted his teeth and seemed to force himself to calm down before he finally spoke.

“We are finished for tonight,” he ground out slowly, “Practice clearing your mind before bed, I will not know if you do not.”

“Great,” Harry said, relieved by the dismissal but still fuming. He quickly made his way to his room. If he was honest he was more angry with himself than Snape, he hadn’t been able to do anything to stop Snape from invading his memories. He’d been lucky Snape hadn’t seen anything overly revealing.

Harry collapsed onto his bed, massaging his head to try to make the ache go away. The lesson had been nothing short of a disaster, but it had also taken away his doubts about learning Occlumency. Voldemort was not the only one who could access his mind thanks to Legilimency. Even if he didn't want to block out the visions, he needed a way to protect himself from hostile people like Snape.

Thinking back, he was sure he had missed something; there had to be more to Occlumency than just clearing his mind or it would be a much more common skill. He considered Snape's words at the beginning of the lesson, something about hiding emotions and memories that contradict a lie. What if real skill in Occlumency was not just in keeping someone out, but instead presenting a facade so good that nothing seemed to be hidden at all?

If he couldn’t keep Snape out completely, maybe he could manage to hide certain feelings and memories that he didn’t want the professor to see. Maybe it wasn’t just about suppressing his emotions, but projecting emotions and memories that were safe to expose.

Harry took a moment to think of what sort of memories Snape would expect to find in his mind, something that would make him not feel the need to look deeper. The man could hardly take a breath around him without using it to tell him he was an arrogant, spoiled, disrespectful rule-breaker. He could work with that.

He closed his eyes, trying to gather up all the memories that supported Snape's view of him.

Tomorrow, he would be ready.