Ridiculous Pseudonym Phase by NoK
Summary: Harry finds the book from the fifth year of the Half Blood Prince, and there's a co-author to it. He will discover who is the Half Blood Prince at all costs.

After a few spells from his time at Hogwarts make a comeback, Severus Snape tries to reveal who exactly has his old book.

Dolores Umbridge sees that once again, Harry Potter makes a mess at her school. She will find his mysterious partner, one Half Blood Prince, and punish him.

Who will succeed on his quest?
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape Main Characters: .Snape and Harry (required), Draco, Dumbledore, Fred George, Ginny, Hermione, James, Lily, Luna, McGonagall, Ron, Sirius, Umbridge, Voldemort
Snape Flavour: Canon Snape, Snape Comforts, Snape is Stern
Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, General, Mystery
Media Type: None
Tags: Snape-meets-Dursleys
Takes Place: 5th summer, 5th Year
Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 19 Completed: No Word count: 40286 Read: 27055 Published: 10 Apr 2020 Updated: 16 Jun 2020
Gifts by NoK

As soon as Severus saw the bunch Order members, led by Black, he sneered and left the room, making the lower edge of his pants to billow in circular motions around his shins. He smirked, satisfied to see that his legerdemain was working even on the Muggle disguise. The rudimentary trick had been his customary companion ever since his first year at Hogwarts, an indulging conundrum which left the Marauders gawking at him like teenage hormonal girls who had Gilderoy Lockhart as their DADA professor.  

In the end of the day, contrary to the common belief of many students, Severus was a man of little things. He liked his clothes billowing, his tea hot (with milk, no sugar), his potions bubbling and his chair black and tattered by usage, fitting his body shape perfectly. Hell, nonetheless he'd never admit it aloud, he even could tolerate Albus' nonsense and Minerva's reprimands.

All the same time, Severus' small pleasantries tended to be frequently disturbed by Dark Lords, Potters and irksome toads.

Hence, when the man does get the opportunity to enjoy himself, he does it without remorse.

Severus rubbed his hands with delight as he looked at the wrought statues, which were merely a minute before angry Death Eaters. Their memory was wiped clean, just as their now-transfigured clothes, which became the uniforms of the tiny men from Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. It was the Headmaster's current favorite muggle movie.

Adding a little red ribbon on the top of Mucliber's (who returned to his original form) left nipple, Severus levitated the two sculptures through the window, banishing the bars which blocked the window. Not even the tiniest twinge of guilt about destroying the muggle safety measures had evoked.

As soon as the statues left the area which was defended by anti-apparition and blood wards, they banished in a small pop sound due to Severus' emergency portkey who was attached to them, leading straight to Albus' office.

Grinning smugly, Severus climbed out of the window just as Nymphadora Tonks casted a spell to show the living people which are currently inside the house. It was a perfect example to why he hadn't liked in the Aurors; detectives should be silent, discreet. If one wandered into a crime scene, as noisy as dozen drunk Hippogriffs, how can he anticipate to catch a thief?

As he ascended the fence, he made sure to trample on as many flowers as he could. It was a petty revenge, yet it wasn't his role to; all he could do was avenge.

However, if the brat would gather enough Gryffindor courage to ask him to…

Severus almost snorted. No, of course not. Potter was no Slytherin. Vindictiveness was beneath his noble, coquettish idealism.

However, as the lean man walked towards Figg's house in the mostly quiet neighborhood, he observed a girl playing on the opposite sidewalk. He gazed at her hands, which were trifling with Albus' future, improved gift.

Maybe he cannot revenge for Potter, but he bloody can revenge Albus and his damned stress balls.

Severus crossed the remaining distance whistling, walking in an arrogant and deficient manner that he had never used outside of his alternative persona.

 


Hermione's jaw dropped. "… Are you absolutely certain, Harry?"

"Why, does it hurt so much to admit that I was right and he was a boy?" asked Ron angrily, his ears turning red. Hermione placed her fists on her hips in Mrs. Weasley's manner.

"Well, so was I about not trusting the Prince, unless you began to trust Professor Snape?" Hermione answered lightly. It seems like she hasn't forgiven Ron for the incident in the library yet, but at least Ron was talking to both of them again. Harry was suddenly glad that the bright girl doesn't actually have the Weasley genes and temper, otherwise Ron would've featured a very bat-like bogies.

"But you do trust him, so you were wrong!"

"I have faith in Professor Dumbledore – "

Harry's fingers twiddled with his wand, eleven inches of holly with a phoenix feather core. As he returned to his bed in the night before, he almost shot a hex at the big pair of eyes which floated above a neatly folded invisibility cloak. After a Lumos, it turned out that the eyes belonged to Dobby who was sitting patiently, almost giving Harry a heart attack. He said that Snape ordered the elves to guard Harry's things and he volunteered.

The energetic elf also handed him a note in Snape's spidery writing, which now Harry recognized as the mature version of the Half Blood Prince's. As Dobby happily told him about his plans for gifts for Christmas ("Dobby is bringing you a huge sock, sir!"), Harry read the parchment. It notified him that Snape wanted to see him after the weekend, probably for another Occlumency lesson.

As the familiar warmth of magic flowed into his palms, he idlily wondered how Snape is able use a spare wand. Perhaps he should ask Ron. Harry himself had never found another one that will work for him well. Perhaps Voldemort's…

Wishing not to give any further thought to the topic, he tuned the argument back in.

"– Dumbledore is not all-know – "

"Professor Dumbledore, Ron, is – "

Harry frowned. "Stop it!" He interrupted and lightly slapped Ron's nape. "You already know you'll make up by next week, so let's spare the trouble."

Ron flushed, shooting an angry look towards both of them. Hermione caught Harry's eyes, quizzingly raising her eyebrows as if asking if she must do it. Harry nodded, making his emerald eyes slightly bigger. When they were in their first year, Hermione noted that Harry could "totally master puppy eyes". He wasn't that much of an actor, so he hadn't managed to make them watery, but after grueling practicing sessions he was able to convince some of the teachers to let him off the hook on a few occasions.

Never Snape, though.

'You owe me,' she mouthed and sighed. "It was a foolish fight anyway." She huffed loudly and Ron visibly became less tense.

"Hermione Granger – "

"– admitting that she has took a part in a foolish action –"

" – willingly?!" The twins exclaimed jointly from the other side of the common room.

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked over her watch. "Let's go for a walk." she suggested, lowering her voice. The other two boys followed her as she climbed through the portrait and Harry glanced at his watch too. It was four o'clock already. Thirty minutes to Charms.

"But we still need to check whether Snape is a part of the Prince family." She continued, stubbornly.

Harry shrugged. "Look, he is – " Hermione looked at him, expecting " – the Half Blood Prince, just let it go." He finished lamely, omitting what he wanted to say. He almost forgot that even the Order members didn't know of Snape's persona. It was hard to keep another secret from his friends, but Harry just mentally added it to the 'forbidden list' of topics: Dursleys, nightmares and now Johnathan Prince.

Rather all of the things that happened, Harry told them a short version of the last two days' incidents. At first, he explained Umbridge's interrogation ("That hog!" "Hermione?! Are you ill?"), the Death Eater's attack, Dudley's disease and how Vernon reacted to Snape's name.

Last night, between waking up before dawn and a cruel session of salves spreading with Madam Pomfrey, he was exhausted. He woke up late and decided to skive Divination (well, his body had made this decision alone). Surprisingly, that night hadn't consisted any nightmares, just a blessed, pure sleep. He slept well and his body was becoming significantly less sore, so he continued napping through his free period. He ended up coming for lunch, where he found both of his friends.

Ron mumbled an apology about not succeeding to wake him, but Harry dismissed it.

After eating, the Trio returned to the Gryffindor tower. Harry finally managed to shut his friends' bickering with the tale about everything that happened in the last two days.

Now, as they reached the lake, he forced himself to tell them about arriving to 12 Grimmauld Place. There he stayed for most of the day, conversating with Sirius and Remus about his mother's and Snape's relationship.

"You must feel betrayed, Harry." Hermione uttered softly when he finished and Harry kicked a small pebble, suddenly understanding it was exactly how he felt. Why every adult around him hides details about his parents?

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds.

"Mate, look at the bright side. Snape can't belittle your mom." Ron broke it, but Harry shook his head. "Sirius said something about a really nasty incident in their fifth year. Snape called my mother a mudblood. I guess they weren't friends for a long time."

Ron frowned at the usage of the curse. Abruptly he grinned, and Harry looked quizzingly at him. "Even better! I think you owe one to Snape. If it weren't for it, after all, he could be your father."

Harry shifted his posture inconveniently at the prospect. "I guess I'll send him flowers in the next non-fathers day, huh?"

"I think that potions ingredients might be better." Ron answered, stubbornly trying to enlighten the mood. It was one of the things that Harry liked about him the most.

"Why not both?" Hermione gave up for a minute on her plans for serious, psychological conversation. "A bouquet of Moonflowers and Leontodon will do the work." The Trio laughed together as each one of them imagined a Snape scowling at a bouquet, keeping away as if it might bite him.

"But seriously, Harry," Hermione insisted as the three of them relaxed. "Are you going to talk to Professor Snape about it?"

"Talk." Harry snorted. "As if he'll tell me something."

"Well, you might get something if you'll act smartly." She replied, thoughtful. "You have a lesson on Monday, right? Try to present it like a puzzle. Leave some clues. I bet he won't stand it."

Harry thought that it was actually a good idea. Maybe, with some planning, he'll manage to extort something out of Snape. During Monday's Occlumency lesson…

Ron wrinkled his nose, which now was very similar to Narcissa Malfoy's, as if smelling something disgusting. "You mean, if he acts Slytherinly."

"Takes one to win one." Hermione answered and Ron huffed, but not wholeheartedly. "Too bad you didn't take Malfoy's hand, then." He told Harry, who snickered. He shared the story with them over a butterbeer and a cake, sitting on the grass. It was after a nasty remark to Malfoy about the incident, which left pink stains on his pale cheeks. It deserved him, though; he tried to hex their picnic basket into something that resembled the notorious Monster Book of Monsters.

The reminder of the sweet moment cheered him up a little bit, pulling away the uneasy weight he had inside his stomach ever since the interrogation of Umbridge. And speaking of the toad…

"I'm in." he suddenly said. His friends exchanged looks, bemused. "On Dumbledore's Army."

Ron gave him a pat on the shoulder and Hermione beamed. "Oh, great! I'll talk to Neville, Ginny and the Patils. Did you know that Ginny was the one to invent this brilliant name? And Fred and George, of course. And – "

"Seamus and Dean will want in, too." Ron interrupted Hermione's rumblings.

"Yeah, sure! But also – "

Until the Trio had reached Charms, the word about the new Defense Association spread to other five different people, all promising to keep quiet – "But you wouldn't mind if I'll tell my friend, right? He's just so keen to learn more Defense! And I guaranty, he won't tell anyone!"

At dinner, the Great Hall was full of hushed whispers. Harry groaned, only then figuring out how big was the responsibility which he took upon himself.

To be continued...


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